


The Story They Will Write Someday

by FancifulFollies



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Treasure Planet (2002)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Aliens, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Angst, F/F, M/M, Minor Character Deaths, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Other, Pirates in Space, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-03-31 19:00:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 181,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13981342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FancifulFollies/pseuds/FancifulFollies
Summary: Alexander Hamilton has grown up reading about legends of pirates, hidden planets, and lost treasure. So when he has the chance to play a part in a legend himself, how can he refuse?But things are never as simple as they seem, and Alexander gets more than he bargained for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's been awhile y'all, but here's a new fic! Expect updates every Thursday!
> 
> Enjoy x

_“On the clearest of nights, when the winds of the Etherium were calm and peaceful, the great merchant ships, with their cargos of Arcturian solar crystals, felt safe and secure. Little did they suspect that they were pursued...by pirates! And the most feared of all these pirates was the notorious – “_

“Alexander Hamilton!”

Alex shuts the book he’s holding with a yelp, the holographic pictures sputtering out as he looks up at his mother with the best innocent expression he can muster spur of the moment.

“I was just about to go to sleep, I _promise_!” He blinks up at his mom as she puts her hands on her hips with a stern expression, which Alex counters by pushing his lower lip out in a pout. “Just a few more minutes, mom, please?”

His mom purses her lips and sighs, saying nothing for a moment before throwing her hands up in the air in defeat, her mouth curving into a smile. “Oh, like I can say no to those eyes!” She steps over to his bed, nudging him to one end so she can sit beside him. “What part are we at?”

Alex wriggles in excitement, re-opening the book to the page he’d been on and smiling as the hologram of two ships re-emerge from the pages. “The best part!”

_“And the most feared of all these pirates was the notorious Captain George Hanover._ _Like a Candarian zap-wing overtaking its prey, Hanover and his band of renegades swooped in out of nowhere, and then, gathering up their spoils...vanished, without a trace.”_

“Oooo!” His mom hums, tickling Alex’s side and making him giggle and twist away before turning his attention back to the voice narrating the story aloud, focusing on the new holograms of the pirates of all different species holding piles and piles of treasure in their arms.

_“Hanover's secret trove has never been found, but stories have persisted that it remains hidden somewhere at the farthest reaches of the galaxy, stowed with riches beyond imagination - the Loot of a Thousand Worlds - Treasure Planet.”_

“Treasure Planet!” Alex echoes with an awed whisper, looking at the hologram of the planet that rises up from the pages, green with two rings around the sides and glowing with energy, calling out to Alex as it always seems to do. “Do you think it’s real, mom? The story?”

“It could be,” his mom tells him with a small smile. “All stories are real, in some way. I think it’s more of a legend, though, sweetie.”

“What’s a legend?”

“It’s…it’s sort of like a make-believe story, with some facts being the truth, but a lot of the facts have been twisted to make it seem more impressive.”

“A legend,” Alex repeats, the word new on his tongue. He furrows his brows, not wanting to think that his favorite story isn’t real. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if Treasure Planet isn’t real. He’s been planning to be the one to find it for _years_. And his mom must sense this, because she laughs and ruffles his hair.

“Then again,” she starts, “legends usually take a long time to become legends. This story didn’t start popping up till, oh, ten years ago. So who knows, maybe it is real.”

“So Treasure Planet could exist?” Alex looks up at the planet still hovering over the book in his lap. “And if it does, how did Captain Hanover do it, mom? How did he get the treasure and then vanish without a trace? How come no one else can find it?”

“I don’t know,” his mom answers with a chuckle when Alex continues to stare up at the hologram. “But what I do know, is that it’s time for this little spacer to go to sleep.” She gently closes the book despite Alex’s protestations. “You’re already up way past your bedtime, sweetie.”

“I don’t get why I need to have a bedtime,” Alex grumbles, situating himself under the covers with another pout. “You don’t have a bedtime.”

“Perks of being an adult.” His mom leans down to press a quick kiss to his forehead, ruffling his hair again as she pulls back. “Eight year olds, however, most definitely need a bedtime, or else they’re all grumpy in the mornings when their mom asks them to help out with chores before school.”

Alex deepens his pout, but doesn’t argue as his mom finishes tucking him in. But as she moves to shut the door, Alex sits up, the movement making her pause. “Is dad back yet?”

He asks, noting in his mind that this is the twentieth consecutive night that he’s asked about his dad.

He twists his sheets between his fingers as his mom stares at him, her silence already an answer, but Alex doesn’t let the small spark of hope in his chest go out just yet.

“Not yet, sweetie,” his mom murmurs, smiling. But Alex can see the sadness on her face. “But soon, I’m sure. Get some sleep.”

“Okay,” Alex whispers, laying back down and trying not to seem disappointed. That always makes his mom even more sad, and he doesn’t want her to be sad. “I love you, mom.”

“I love you, too, Alexander.”

The door shuts with a soft click.

Alex counts to ten slowly and then shoots up in his bed, grabbing the book off of his bedside table. He shuffles underneath the covers before opening the book, smiling widely as the story re-starts;

_“On the clearest of nights, when the winds of the Etherium were calm and peaceful…”_

 

**~ Eleven years later ~**

 

Alex tips his head back, lets the wind roaring past him sweep through his hair, whipping strands across his face and making his blood pump beneath his skin. He was supposed to be home an hour ago to help his mom with the dinner rush at the Inn, but the weather had been too tempting to pass up. He couldn’t resist getting his solar glider out.

He knows his mom hates it, and probably for a good reason – he’s fallen off of it enough times to warrant any mother’s concern. Bruised knees, scraped up palms, even a broken ankle at one point. He’d experienced it all from his glider, but nothing could stop him from using it day after day.

There’s nothing that compares to gliding above the ground, and flying through the sky. It’s the closest he’ll ever get to being really up there, flying through space, discovering new lands, finding long lost treasure...

Alex steers the glider around the curve of the valley he’s in, grinning as he pulls at the handle, letting out a burst of laughter as he flies upward, the wind making his eyes water in the best way. He doesn’t worry about going too high; Montressor benefits from it’s place in the Etherium– a layer of space with breathable air that contains many, small island-like planets.

Alex angles his glider back down, a joyous whoop leaving him as he picks up speed, pulling up at the last moment to avoid a full on crash.

Adrenaline courses through him, and Alex narrows his eyes as he takes in the approaching sight; a metal gate with a red sign attached blocking his way, something like a construction zone behind it.

He makes a quick decision and zooms closer to the area, pulling up to launch himself over the gate, his stomach dropping at the motion. Then he’s weaving in and out of other obstacles, gliding into a tunnel and feeling the most at peace he has in a long time as he flies through the darkness of it, the hole of light at the other end rapidly growing.

Then he’s exiting, keeping low to the ground and looking around for his next spot. But before he can decide, a sound reaches his ears that he knows all too well – sirens.

Alex glances behind him, heart sinking when he sees two police bots rolling their way towards him. He only has a split second to decide between trying to escape or just giving up on the spot. With a grumble, he halts his glider, knowing that he already got caught two times this month, and that trying to escape would only make things worse.

“Citizen,” one of the robo cops says, “identify yourself.”

“Alexander Hamilton,” Alex mutters, stepping off of his glider and hitting a button on the handle so the sail folds in on itself. He knows the robo cops are pulling up file after file in their heads that are all about him.

His name is well known with the planet’s authorities.

“You are in a restricted area,” the other robo cop tells him, and Alex looks behind them at the red sign attached to the gate.

Oh, so that’s what that was. Oops.

“Sorry about that,” Alex says, giving them both a sheepish smile. “I was going so fast, you know, I couldn’t read the sign. But hey, no harm no foul, right? So I’ll just – “ he tries to walk around them, but a metal hand reaches out to stop him.

“Records show this is your third time breaking a law this month, adding up to eight total misdemeanors over the past nineteen years.”

Alex winces. “That many, huh? Wow. You sure you guys have got that right?” It’s a dumb question. The whole point of robo cops is that they never get anything wrong. Their brains are wired for this sort of thing.

“We are correct. Now we will bring you to your place of residence to ensure you do not participate in any more offenses, and then collect the fee to resolve you of your punishment.”

Alex winces again, panic starting to creep over him. His mom is going to be so pissed. He’d gone almost three weeks without getting into trouble, which is a pretty good record for him. And she’s been so proud, telling everyone at the Inn that he’s turning a new leaf.

“How about you two just give me a punishment now,” Alex says, trying to sound upbeat. “How about some good ol’ community service, huh? Or can pay the trespassing fee right now! No need to tell my mom.” He shoves a hand into his pocket, pulling it back out and holding out one or two coins and some pieces of fuzz. “That should cover it.”

“You will come with us,” the cop holding his arm says, and then they both turn, pulling Alex along with them.

It takes ten minutes to get back to the Inn, and Alex takes a deep breath as the cop knocks at the front door, trying to prepare himself for what is sure to be a disaster.

The door swings open, and Alex’s mom appears, the smile slipping from her face as her eyes roam over all of them standing there. Alex turns his gaze to the ground, unable to meet her eyes.

“Hello, officers,” she says a moment later, voice carefully controlled. “What’s all this?”

“Your son was in a restricted zone, engaging in activities dangerous to himself. This is his third felony this month. For now he will pay a fee. Someone will be in contact with him soon with the exact amount and any other protocols necessary.” The cop turns its attention to Alex. “If you accumulate ten misdemeanors, stricter punishment will be enacted and may result in detainment.”

Alex swallows at that, lifting his head to see his mom staring at him with disappointment written on every line of her face. Then her expression hardens. “I can assure you there will not be any other incidents. Thank you, officers.”

The cop releases Alex’s arm, and he wrenches it away, scowling as they both nod at his mom before turning and leaving.

Alex stands there, waiting for the reprimanding to begin, but his mom just sighs, motioning for him to come inside. Alex’s face burns when he sees that the Inn is crowded with people eating, most of them blatantly staring at Alex as he walks in, one patron not even having the decency to refrain from pointing at Alex with one of their tentacles as they whisper to the person beside them.

The Inn has always been a gathering place for anyone and everyone, its residents ranging from humans, humanoids, acturians, felinids, canids, and even cragorians, despite their usual preference for privacy.

When Alex continues to look around, his mortification only grows when he spots his friend Eliza sitting at a table near the door to the kitchen, turning away from him quickly and trying to pretend like she hadn’t just heard all of that, even though she inherited an acute sense of hearing from her mother, who had been part canid, along with the ability to sniff out scents from miles away.

The Schuylers are old family friends, Eliza and her two sisters, Angelica and Peggy, being frequent visitors at the Inn throughout all of Alexander’s childhood. Their father is the mayor, and he’s been a good friend to his mom, getting them out of a couple tight spots when it came to keeping the Inn running.

“Here.” His mom shoves some dirty dishes in Alex’s direction, not meeting his eyes. “You’re on dish duty until I can think of some other way to get it into your thick skull that you need to wise up and stop acting like a reckless child.”

“Mom, I – “

“Enough, Alexander.” His mom places a bowl on top of the already tall pile of dishes Alex is clinging to, and then turns her back to him to start wiping down one of the empty tables. “Just…just do the dishes, please. I can’t talk to you now.”

Alex stares at her a moment longer, chewing at his lip as he tries to think of something else to say, of some way to make his mom at least _look_ at him. But then his eyes meet Eliza’s, and she gives the briefest shake of her head. Then she nods at him, a silent gesture to trust her.

So Alex grips the pile of dishes tightly and knocks the kitchen door open with his shoulder, slipping through it without another word. But before it can close, he sees Eliza’s foot stick out, catching the door and ensuring it doesn’t close all the way.

Alex drops the dishes by the sink, letting them clatter loudly on the counter. He switches the sink on and then makes his way back over to the door, pressing his back against the wall so he’s out of the immediate line of sight. He gets situated just in time to hear Eliza mid-sentence.

“ – sure it’ll be fine, Rachel. It was just a warning.”

“His eighth warning. With another fee. His third of the month. He’s always been careless, but he’s bordering on out of control.” His mom sighs, and there’s a creaking of wood, signaling that she’s sunken onto one of the Inn chairs. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Alex feels shame wash over him at his mom’s tired tone, his whole body flushing uncomfortably.

“He’ll grow out of this,” Eliza continues, her voice gentle, and Alex feels a rush of affection towards her. She’s always stuck up for him. “He’s got a lot of pent up energy. He just needs to find something to put it towards.”

“Pent up energy,” his mom repeats, humming. “That’s what I always told myself. When he was young and getting into fights at school, I always told his teachers he would just get too antsy sitting around all day. And when all of this getting into trouble with the police started, I’d say the same thing.”

“And now what do you think?”

“I think that I don’t know what to do.” His mom laughs, the sound coming out wet, and Alex digs his fingernails into his palms. “I just don’t know. He doesn’t talk to me. I know that happens, I mean, he’s nineteen. It’s probably normal. But…but he’s _nineteen_. He’s an adult now and I can’t protect him. He’s just so…so far away all the time. And I know that he’s searching for something…something that will fill the hole that his father leaving left. But I don’t know what he’s looking for.”

Alex folds his hands into fists at his sides, a swirl of emotions rising in him.

He doesn’t want to think that the way he’s acting is because of his dad’s absence. Hell, he’s lived longer without him than with him, he should be used to it. Even when his dad was here it was still like he wasn’t. Alex shouldn’t care. But he does. It makes him feel worthless.

The day his dad left is still clear in his mind, despite having been eight at the time. He remembers his dad packing bags the night before, remembers his mom crying in the kitchen when Alex stumbled his way in early in the morning, remembers looking out the window to see his dad making his way over to the small boat they owned, remembers running outside, hoping to go out with his dad, but then his dad had just flown off without him, not even bothering to look back.

But Alex had kept hoping, had kept wishing. The only reason he learned how to count past a hundred by himself is because he kept counting the number of days his dad was gone, the number only climbing higher and higher until he couldn’t count anymore.

Alex swallows when he realizes that his mom and Eliza have both fallen silent, his chest tight. He knows he should just walk away, stop listening, go over to the dishes and scrub as loud as he can. But his feet stay rooted to the spot, and not even his heart beating loudly against his ribs can overpower the rest of the conversation.

“He has so much potential,” his mom says. “So much. He could be _so much_. But he just…he just throws it away! If he keeps doing what he’s doing, I don’t know what’s going to happen. We can only keep paying these fees for so long before he…” She trails off. “I’m failing him.”

“No,” Eliza counters, voicing the one word that is blaring in Alex’s mind. “Rachel, no. You’ve done so much for him. And he knows that.”

“But where is his life going? I just want him have more, to _be_ more, to have the whole world ahead of him. I don’t want him to spend his life in a jail cell.” She sighs again. “Maybe I need to be there for him more, maybe he feels neglected. I just don’t know what more to do.”

Alex pushes himself off the wall, something like nausea rising in him. He moves in front of the door, closing it the rest of the way with a soft click. Then he goes over to the sink, shuts the water off with a shaking hand before leaving the dishes on the counter in a dirty pile.

He skips up the steps to his room, feeling jumpy and wrong in his skin as he goes over to his window and pushes the glass up. He eases out of it with practiced movements, stepping out onto the roof and climbing up to his favorite spot.

Once he’s seated, Alex closes his eyes and lets his head tilt back, the night air cool against his skin.

The thing is, _he_ doesn’t even know why he does all of the shit that he does. He wishes that he knew, then he could stop doing it, then he could stop making his mom worry so much about him. He could stop being such a disappointment to her. But that’s all he knows how to do.

He must take after his father in that area.

It’s like there’s this itch under his skin that is constantly there, an itch to do something. But he doesn’t know what that something is. All he knows that when he’s on his glider, flying through the air, that’s where he feels most alive. That’s where he feels like he belongs, not serving people at the Inn. The idea of that being his life until he dies makes Alex want to scream.

He goes out on his glider so much just to escape it all, to escape the worry in his mother's eyes, the judgement in the town's peoples eyes, to escape everything. He feels right when he's up in the air, feels like he knows what he's doing. He doesn't feel like that anywhere else. 

“Hey!”

Alex straightens at the voice, peering behind him to see another one of his friends, John, easing his way out of the window and making his way over with a grin.

“Hey, yourself,” Alex retorts, looking back up at the sky as John sits beside him with a grunt. 

“It’s hot as fuck out here,” John comments after a beat of silence, and Alex sees him pluck at his shirt from the corner of his eye, but still says nothing. “See, that’s where you’re supposed to say, ‘No, John, _you’re_ hot as fuck.’”

Alex snorts despite his sour mood, and he glances over at John to see a grin spreading across his face. “Oh, shut up, you’re not that funny.”

John lets out a loud laugh and knocks his shoulder against Alex’s. “Oh please, I’m one of the funniest people you know. Don’t act like you don’t remember that time I made you laugh so hard you almost threw up.”

“If I remember that moment correctly,” Alex starts, “I was laughing because you sneezed while you were giving me a b-“

“I remember,” John interjects quickly, a blush covering his cheeks, and now Alex is the one laughing, and John narrows his eyes at him, and then he’s reaching out a hand to tug hard at Alex’s hair.

Alex lets out a yelp, and then he launches himself at John in retaliation, tackling him down so that he’s hovering over John, keeping his wrists pinned down. “You’re such a little shit.”

John just chuckles. “I know.” He wrenches his wrists out of Alex’s grip with ease, and he tugs Alex down by the front of his shirt, mere inches between them. “Let me make it up to you,” John breathes out, eyes warm and playful as he looks up at Alex.

And Alex gazes down at him, lower lip between his teeth as he considers the proposition.

It’s not like it’s anything new; him and John fool around probably every other day, and it’s always good, always a source of stress relief for Alex, bringing him out of his head. But right now, there’s no heat in Alex’s stomach from the way John is still looking at him, no excitement thrumming through him.

Alex sighs and rolls off of John, head thunking against the roof as he lies on his back. “I’m not really in the mood,” he murmurs, and he swallows thickly as John rearranges himself so he’s lying beside Alex, face tilted so he’s looking at him.

“What happened?”

Alex shrugs. “The usual. Took my glider out. Got caught.”

“Shit, Alex. What is that? The third time this month?”

Alex shrugs again, not wanting to admit it. “My mom’s pissed.”

“I could ask my dad to talk to the authorities? Get him to cover the f – “

“No,” Alex snaps out more harshly than he means to, and he forces himself to swallow down the anger rising in him. “No, I…just, no. Thanks, though.”

He doesn’t talk about it much, but John’s family is one of the richest families in all of Montressor, which is a huge part of the reason why Alex always got into so much trouble as a kid and John didn’t, somehow always finding an out after talking to his father about it.

“You could ask Herc to make your mom a new dress,” John suggests after a too long beat of silence. “Or help her redecorate the main dining space. Last time Herc did that, your mom was flying high for weeks.”

“Maybe,” Alex says, remembering how that really had made his mom happy, how almost everyone else seems better at making her happy than Alex. “Where is Herc, anyway?” Alex asks, needing a distraction from the direction his thoughts are starting to go. “Thought you two were hanging out cause they had the day off?”

“We hung out for a bit. Then they told me I was too annoying and sent me off. They seemed tired.”

“Yeah,” Alex says dryly. “That must have been it, not the fact that you’re really just that annoying sometimes.”

“Fuck off,” John says over a laugh. “They were tired. Their cousin, Bobby, was over and bouncing off the walls.”

Alex snorts at that. Bobby’s part arcturian, meaning he has a frog-like ability to hop to insane heights. Herc is always getting stuck baby-sitting him.

Silence falls between Alex and John again, and not too soon after, disappointment is settling in Alex’s stomach.

He know he shouldn’t expect it, John isn’t exactly Mr. Sympathetic, but Alex still wishes that he would say _something_ , that he would offer Alex some kind of support or comfort or just fucking say something to him to make him stop thinking about what a worthless person he is.

Alex swallows the lump forming in his throat, hating that coming to his favorite spot isn’t even helping, that nothing is helping. He feels like crawling out of his skin. He needs a distraction, he needs –

“Do you see that?” John asks suddenly, sitting up and pointing up at the sky. “That, right there!”

Alex groans as he sits up, getting ready to say that John better not be messing with him, but then his eyes follow the direction John is pointing in, and he sees a strange shape hurtling through the sky, just over the top of the sun, which is slowly setting beyond the horizon.

“What is that?” Alex asks, moving into a standing position, John following suit. “It looks like…”

“An escape pod,” John finishes for him.

Alex nods, following the shape as it continues its descent through the sky, and as it gets closer, Alex can see the trail of smoke following it.

“It’s on fire,” he breathes out, watching as the pod gets closer and closer to the ground. “Damaged. Like someone blasted it. We’ve got to get someone, we’ve got to get help, we’ve got to – “

The rest of his words are drown out when a thunderous crash echoes through the air, and Alex stumbles back, him and John clutching at each other to keep their balance.

The pod crashed some miles off, smoke still rising into the air, and Alex tugs at John’s shirtsleeve.

“We have to go see if they’re okay,” Alex declares, mind already whirring with possibilities of what or who could be inside the pod. This will be the perfect distraction.

“But, Alex, we – “

“We have to go, come on!”

Alex steps forward, moving towards the tree that is level with the roof, already climbing onto one of its branches and beginning the descent down to the ground before John can argue.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy early update! Well, technically happy double update. There will be another chapter this Thursday, too :) 
> 
> In the end notes of last chapter I said two big things would happen to Alex this chapter, but I switched the ending to the beginning of the next chapter, so stay tuned for more big things next chapter.
> 
> Enjoy x

The crash site is a couple miles off, and by the time Alex and John reach it, they’re both out of breath, and the sun is slipping lower and lower in the sky, casting an orange hue around them as they come to a stop.

They both stand in front of the escape pod and watch, wordlessly, as flames and smoke dance around it. Neither of them sure what to do next, and Alex is about to ask what John thinks, but then the door of the pod bangs open, and Alex jumps back in surprise, John’s hands reaching for him at the last second to steady him.

Someone staggers out, and Alex feels John wrap his fingers around Alex’s wrist, tugging him back a few steps. But Alex keeps his eyes on the emerging figure, and when he sees them stumble, he wrenches his arm out of John’s grip and dashes over to catch the person before they hit the ground.

He drags them as far away from the crash as his strength will allow, which isn’t far, and then kneels beside them. Once the smoke clears, Alex finally gets a good view of the person. He looks young underneath all of the soot and scratches on his face, but his skin almost has a green hue, and there are wrinkle-like lines on his face that don’t match his apparent youth.

“Is he a densadron?” John asks. “Or I guess not, he’s just got the two arms. So he’s some kind of tortoise humanoid?” John comes to kneel down beside him. “More importantly, is he okay?”

Alex doesn’t bother to answer any of John’s questions, just focuses on the man and his shallow breathing and the dark stain on the front of his shirt that Alex knows must be blood. He curses.

“You’re the one training to be a doctor,” Alex mutters to John, and he gestures to the blood. “But I’m guessing that isn’t good.” Cursing again, Alex licks his lips and then takes a deep breath, feeling completely out of his depth. “Hey.” Alex puts what he hopes is a reassuring hand on the man’s shoulder. “Are you alright? What’s your name?”

“Seabury,” the man gasps, and his breath rattles in his chest, his eyes searching the space in front of him before latching onto Alex. “Samuel Seabury.”

“Are you okay?” Alex asks again. “Can we get someone? Take you somewhere? What even happened? What – “

Seabury shoots out a hand and grabs Alex’s arm, holds on with a tight grip that makes Alex hiss out in pain.

“Hey!” John shouts, moving forward to try to pry Seabury’s hand off. “Let him go, let him – “

“You need to take it,” Seabury tells Alex, eyes wide but more focused than before, and Alex blinks at him in confusion. “Take it and hide it. Don’t let him find it. Die before you let him find it.”

Alex throws a bewildered look at John, not understanding any of this, and then turns his attention back to Seabury. “What are you talking about? Don’t let who find what?”

Seabury just grips Alex harder, breath coming faster and faster. “He's coming. Can you hear him? Those gears and gyros, clicking and whirring like the devil himself!”

Unease starts to crawl over Alex, but he doesn’t make any movements to get away, still too intrigued to be completely scared. “I don’t know what you’re – “

Seabury releases Alex suddenly, moves his hand to his coat, wincing and groaning as he pulls out a small chest, shoving it towards Alex. “Guard it with your life. Don’t let him find it.”

Alex disregards the chest for the time being, reaches out and shakes Seabury instead, who has closed his eyes. “Hey. Hey! Who? Who am I supposed to be guarding this from? Hey!”

Seabury’s eyes wrench back open, making both Alex and John jump again. Then he’s pushing himself up, grabbing at the front of Alex’s shirt and pulling him down so he can whisper in his ear.

“The cyborg,” he says, his voice raspy and growing fainter by the second. “Don’t let him find it. Beware…the cyborg.”

Seabury’s grip tightens momentarily, and then he’s taking in a shuddering breath, the sound making Alex give a full body shiver. Then the man is falling back onto the ground with a thud, eyes open but unfocused, staring up at the sky.

“Holy shit,” Alex says after a few seconds, hands gripping the chest tightly as numbness overtakes him. “Holy shit, _holy shit_. John, is he…” He trails off, but John shifts forward, puts his finger below the man’s jaw, checking for a pulse. When he gives his head a small shake, Alex swears again.

“What do we do?” John asks next, looking a little paler than usual, and Alex is sure his face looks the same. “He’s dead, Alex.”

Alex opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. His eyes trail over Seabury’s body, and then flick to the chest he’s holding in his hand. “Beware the cyborg,” Alex murmurs, his mind taking too long to re-start after the shock of Seabury’s words and sudden death. “Cyborg…” Alex runs his tongue over the front of his teeth as thought after thought start pop into into his head. “Do you think…” he trails off, knows he must sound a little crazy, but he can’t help but think this whole scenario – Seabury crashing, clearly pursued by this cyborg who wants what’s in the chest – all seems familiar to him in some way, like he’s heard about these things happening before.

Alex moves to open the chest, his curiosity growing stronger by the second, but John stops him.

“Don’t open it!”

“But we have to see what’s inside!”

“It could be dangerous!” John shakes his head at him, curses under his breath. “Fuck, Alex. We need to go tell someone. We need to – “

“No!” Alex interjects, mind starting to work at full capacity again. He’s starting to connect the dots, and there's excitement beginning to bubble beneath his skin. “Someone else must have seen the crash, people will be coming soon. There’s nothing more we can do for him, anyway. But this…” He gives the chest a little shake, feels something heavy thud against the sides. “We can keep this safe for him.” And Alex wants to investigate, wants to figure out if all of this connects in the way he’s thinking it might. But he keeps that to himself. For now.

John stares at him as if he has two heads. “We don’t even know what it is! Or who this guy is! All we know is that some psycho cyborg is looking for what’s in that chest. No way, we can’t, we – “

“It was his dying wish,” Alex tells John, and then he’s standing, pulling John up with him. “Besides, we’ll just keep a wary eye out for suspicious, threatening cyborgs.” He can’t keep the smile off his face when John continues to look at him like he’s crazy, the thrum of an impending adventure start to run through his veins. “Oh, come on, John. Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“This is _different_ , this is – “ John cuts off when the sound of sirens reaches them, eyes growing wide. “Oh, shit.”

“We gotta go,” Alex says, and he tucks the chest under one arm, grabs John by the hand and tugs. “Come on! I can’t get caught next to a dead body. God knows what the cops would think of that.”

“You’re insane,” John hisses, but he falls into a sprint beside Alex, neither of them pausing for a single second until they reach the Inn, the sun starting to slip below the horizon by the time they burst through the door.

Dinner has ended, and the dining area is empty of customers when Alex and John skid to a halt inside, but Alex’s mom and Eliza are still there, now joined by Angelica and Herc, and all four of them turn to stare, eyes growing wide when they take in Alex’s and John’s disheveled appearance.

“What’s going on?” Alex’s mom asks, coming forward to touch a hand to Alex’s cheek. “You’re covered in…what is this? Dirt?”

“Soot,” Alex corrects, a little out of breath. “There was this crash. An escape pod. It just hurtled out of the sky – on fire – and me and John ran over and there was this guy inside and he handed us this – “ he holds up the chest “ – and then told us to beware a cyborg and – “

“Stop, stop.” Alex’s mom shakes her head, moves her hand down to Alex’s shoulders. “Slow down. What man? What…what cyborg?”

Alex looks over at John, silently asks him to tell the story, can feel the adrenaline still coursing through him, making it hard to form coherent sentences.

“Like he said, there was a crash,” John starts. “And we ran over, helped the man get out. But he wasn’t in good shape, basically collapsed as soon as he was outside. We tried to ask him questions but he just shoved the chest at us, told us to hide it, to guard it. And then he said that some cyborg is after it. Then he…he died.”

Angelica rises from the chair she’d been sitting in, sounding shocked. “Dead? And you just left him there?”

“There was nothing we could do,” Alex snaps out, meeting her judgmental gaze. “We tried to help. And there were other people starting to come so we….we left,” he finishes lamely, but he keeps his eyes up, doesn’t back down from his stance of knowing they did what they had to do. If they had stayed and tried to explain themselves, it wouldn't have gone over well.

Herc whistles lowly, and shakes their head before laughing. “Damn. I don’t hang out with y’all for a day and you get into all kinds of shit.”

“You have to admit it’s a good story,” Alex says, grin faltering when his mom sinks down onto a chair with a groan. “Or…uhm, not that I…I mean…”

“So what’s in the chest?” Eliza interjects, saving Alex from continuing to stutter. She comes over to stand next to him. “It sounds important, and count me in as intrigued.”

“It could be something dangerous,” Angelica says, echoing John’s words from earlier, but Alex shakes his head.

“Nah. It was getting all whacked around while I ran, I don’t think it’s dangerous.” He sets the chest down on a table, grabs the lid and flips it open in one quick movement, heartbeat slowing down to normal once he takes in the sight of a golden orb sitting inside. Not exactly what he’d been expecting. But then again, he’s not really sure _what_ he’d been expecting

“Huh,” Eliza hums, looking thoughtful. “Interesting. The lines on it…” she traces her fingers above the orb, following the lines etched onto its golden surface. “They all connect to the circles, almost like some sort of path.”

Alex picks up the sphere, turns it over in his hands a few times as he inspects is. “But what is it?”

“No idea.”

“I should go to our father,” Angelica interjects, hovering behind them. “Tell him what happened.”

“Will we get in trouble?” John asks, looking nervous at the prospect of the mayor getting involved, and Alex rolls his eyes, but Angelica smiles at John.

“Not unless _you_ shot the man’s escape pod from the sky.”

“Wait!” Alex calls out, needing Angelica to not give everything away, not yet. He steps around Eliza and goes over to Angelica, who peers down at him with a raised eyebrow. “Don’t…don’t tell him about the orb.”

Angelica just laughs, the sound coming out sharp. “And why not? It’s clearly important. And it seems dangerous.” She shifts on her feet, stares at Alex for a few seconds before sighing. “You’re going to have to give me a good reason. You know I can’t just go along with your games anymore.”

Even though it’s been a couple of years since Angelica stopped tagging along on their adventures and getting into all kinds of trouble with them, Alex still isn’t used to this new side of her, this responsible, mature side.

He knows a big part of it has to do with their mom passing away, and Angelica feeling like she needs to step in to fill the void that left. But lately there’s been rumors of Angelica wanting to run for office in a couple years, and Mayor Schuyler thought it best she stop running around with troublemakers in order to built a better reputation.

And Alex would never admit it, but he misses Angelica, and was more than a little hurt when she explained to all of them that she couldn't afford to hang out with them like she used to. Alex is still bitter over it. Angelica was always the one keeping up with Alex or coming up with some new, crazy thing to do. Things were more exciting when she was with them.

“I…” Alex licks his lips, tightens his grip on the orb. “I don’t have a good reason,” he tells her, because it’s true. He doesn’t have a good reason. Not yet. He just needs time. “I just…there’s more to this than we know and – “

“And that’s exactly why we need to tell someone,” Angelica finishes for him. She holds out a hand for the orb with an expectant expression.

Alex peers behind him, catches Eliza’s eye, silently asks for backup, but Eliza just gives him a sympathetic look before shaking her head.

“She’s, right, Alex. None of this sounds…good.”

“It is the opposite of good,” Alex’s mom interjects, concern etched onto her face as she stands back up. “Alex, honey, give it to Angelica. This is none of your business.”

“But the guy gave it to me!” His words are met with a collective groan, and Alex feels his face burn, but he clenches his jaw, determined keep to the orb for a little longer. Just until he’s sure it might be what he thinks it might be. “I…at least let me hold onto it over night. Go tell your dad,” he says to Angelica. “He probably knows about the crash already, anyway. But tell him he can come over for the orb in the morning. Or I’ll bring it to him. Just…just let me hold onto it for tonight.”

Angelica gives him a long, searching look, eyebrows drawn together, but then her lips twitch. “Fine,” she says through a sigh. “I don’t see how that will really matter, but fine, keep it overnight. But you owe me.”

Alex breathes out in relief, and then kicks forward one of his feet to knock it against Angelica’s. “I always owe you.”

Angelica huffs out a laugh, and they share a quick smile before she’s stepping around him. “Come on, Eliza. We should get back.”

“Wait,” Alex calls out. “Can she stay for the night?” He wants his friends around, wants to bounce ideas back and forth, wants them there when he figures out what the orb really is.

Angelica arches a brow. “Aren’t you a little old for a slumber party?”

“Ah, come on. We have a lot to catch up on.” He hears his mom clear her throat, and he looks back at her with a bashful expression. “I mean, mom, is it okay if Eliza stays? And Herc and John?”

His mom purses her lips, runs a hand over her forehead. “Let me get this straight. This afternoon, you were brought home by the authorities for trespassing and endangering yourself, which I now need to find a way to pay a fee for. And then you ran off to investigate a crash without telling me, once again endangering yourself _and_ John, and then you come home with a mysterious orb that apparently a dangerous cyborg is looking for, and you want to know if you can have a fun night with your friends?”

Alex feels the burn return to his face, spreading down the back of his neck this time. He knows the right answer, knows what he should say. But then his mouth is opening, a word spilling from it without him really thinking about it. “Yes.”

His mom laughs, lets her hand drop from her face down to her hip. “Well, obviously it doesn’t matter what I say, you’ll just find a way sneak them in even if I tell you no.”

Her words sting more than Alex wants them to, and he looks away from his mom and down at his feet, but then there’s a hand tilting his chin up, and his mom gives him a small, sad smile. “We’re not done talking about what happened today. We will talk about it tomorrow, and we will come up with some kind of plan. Things need to change, Alexander. I can’t…we can’t keep doing this.”

Alex swallows, nods his head. “Okay.”

“Okay,” his mom echoes, leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead. “And I fully expect you to fill me in on whatever you aren’t telling us about this orb,” she murmurs, and Alex rolls his eyes but smiles.

His mom can always tell when he’s holding something back.

“I’ll leave the carriage for you, Eliza,” Angelica says, heading towards the door. “It’s parked around the side. I’ll just tie up the horses and be off.”

As soon as Angelica is out the door, Alex says a hurried goodnight to his mom before herding his friends up the stairs, anxious to check if his theories are right about the orb. And if he is, he definitely wants an audience.

“So.” Eliza hops onto his bed once they’re all in his room, and then crosses her legs. “Spill. What isn’t that you aren’t telling anyone?”

“And how do you know I have something I’m not telling?” Alex says, his words playful as he sets the orb down on his bedside table and then bends down and starts to rummage through a box under his bed.

“Because whenever you have a secret, you always look like you’re about to pee yourself.”

Herc and John bark out laughs at that, and Alex raises a hand to flip off Eliza, and then he’s shifting back, a bundle of newspapers in his hand, a triumphant smile on his face.

“I’ve been keeping up with this one story in the paper for ages,” Alex starts, excitement starting to fill him again. “A story about a cyborg pirate, Silver, who’s been overtaking merchant ships, looking for something.”

His friends crowd around him as he lays the newspapers out on the floor, smoothing the surfaces of some of the more crumpled ones. Then he leans back, lets his eyes roam over some of the headlines. They’re all pretty similar, reading something like " _Mysterious cyborg overpowers ship, ties up crew_ ” or “C _yborg strikes again: Frightened crew member recounts the flash of silver that was their only warning_ ” or “ _Silver continues to evade authorities, his dangerous reputation growing by the second._ ”

Herc reaches out for one, raises it to their eyes and begins to read aloud. “Silver, a name that now fills every crew’s blood with ice, continues on his war path for information no one seems to have. Coming from nowhere and overpowering ships within moments, Captain Silver and his troop of rebel pirates have once again slipped through the fingers of authorities after searching more merchant ships and terrorizing crews.” Herc pauses there, eyes scanning ahead a few lines, and then they clear their throat. “Mystery still surrounds Silver’s actions. Is it merely a quest of greed? Simply some immoral fun for a pirate? Or is it, as some believe, a quest to find the long lost hoard of gold on Treasure Planet?”

There’s a long beat of silence after Herc finishes, and then –

“You’re kidding,” John says, his voice flat. “This…you think this has to do with _Treasure Planet_?”

His tone makes Alex bristle. “Yes,” he answers stiffly. “Is that so crazy?”

“Yes, it is!”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Eliza says. “It kind of makes sense. It’s definitely a possibility!”

“Exactly!” Alex stands up, one of the newspaper clippings still clutched in his hand. He waves it in the air as he starts to pace. “Silver didn’t start showing up in the news until like…eight years ago or something. And the first couple of years, no one had any idea what the guy was looking for when he boarded merchant ships. But then things started getting out, people saying that he would only ever ask to look through the goods being transported, taking a few things every now and then, but he rarely even hurts anyone. I mean, some stories report that crew members mysteriously disappear after he’s through with a ship, so I’m guessing he kills sometimes, but…”

“So what you’re telling us is he’s a bad pirate?” Herc asks, looking confused.

“No. He’s actually kind of brilliant.” Alex pauses his pacing, looks down at the newspaper in his hands. “He’s never been caught. Hell, he’s rarely actually seen. He just shows up out of nowhere, has his crew tie up the other crew, searches the ship, and then disappears. The guy is so evasive there aren’t even any wanted posters of him.”

“But…” John shakes his head, looks confused. “How is he connected to Treasure Planet?”

“It’s only rumors,” Alex says slowly. “But some people who have been part of the crews of the merchant ships, they say that they overheard the pirates asking about some kind of object or…or key that could lead them to Treasure Planet. Apparently that’s what he’s always looking for. And he wants it bad. Whenever a captain tries to stop him from searching a ship, he gets pretty terrifying.” He stops there, looks down at the newspaper in his hand, the title reading _“Captain Silver is Chasing a Legend: One Pirate’s Relentless Quest for Fame and Fortune.”_ Alex’s lips twitch, a smile rising onto his face before he can stop it.

“You look as if he’s your hero,” John grumbles, shaking Alex from his thoughts.

He shrugs. “It’s a cool story, that’s all.” He doesn’t bother mentioning that Silver is doing what Alex wishes _he_ was doing; roaming the skies in search for treasure, completely free from rules, getting closer and closer to Treasure Planet. He’s becoming a legend.

“So you think this orb is what he’s been looking for?” Eliza asks, and they all glance over to where it rests on Alex’s bedside table.

“Like you said,” Alex starts slowly, “it kind of makes sense.”

“Y’all are crazy,” John says, shaking his head. “Like…there’s no way.”

“Well Eliza agrees with me,” Alex tells him with a smirk. “And since she’s an astrophysicist and you’re not, _and_ she agrees with me, I’m taking that as a point to me being right.”

They spend the rest of the night coming up with crazy ideas of what the orb could be. Eliza posits that the markings on the surface are a clue, while Herc spreads their arms wide and says that maybe it opens up and Treasure Planet is inside. John claims that they’re all wrong and it’s really just some weird sex toy.

They all take turns examining the orb, poking and prodding it, even throwing it back and forth just to see if anything happens. But nothing ever does, and after a while, they start to grow tired. Herc and Eliza huddle on the couch up against Alex’s wall while him and John share the bed. John is asleep within minutes, but Alex lies awake, energy still running through him.

What if this orb really is some kind of key to Treasure Planet? Is that crazy to think? But it _could_ be a key or a clue, and it fell into Alex’s hands. That has to mean something.

Smiling to himself, Alex turns onto his side and reaches for his bedside drawer, pulling it open and grabbing the old storybook that lies inside.

He smoothes his hand over the cover, memories of all the times he read it as a kid washing over him. Maybe it’s silly, but the story still means so much to Alex. It makes him want to do something, makes him want to to be something. More than that, it makes him feel like he _will_ be something. 

Alex flips open the book, being as quiet as he can and watching with a smile as the first hologram flickers before his eyes, a sense of purpose filling him as it always seems to do when the narration begins.

_“On the clearest of nights, when the winds of the Etherium were calm and peaceful…”_

Warmth builds in Alex's chest as the narration continues. Alex remembers how, when he was a kid, the story seemed so real, so attainable. That had faded as he'd gotten older, the story becoming more of an escape than anything else. He'd listen to it whenever things were too hard or too much of a mess, but the idea of him actually finding Treasure Planet had become a fanciful dream.

But now...now Alex _knows_ that he's found something. He'd been the one to find Seabury, and Seabury gave him something that a cyborg was after, and it _couldn't_ be a coincidence that there's been a pirate cyborg in the news for eight years searching for something, something related to Treasure Planet. Alex might not know how everything connects now, but he will. He'll figure it out. Even now he can tell he's close. Close to finally finding what he's meant for.

With those thoughts swirling around in his head, Alex shifts under the covers, his book's narration still continuing, and lets sleep pull him under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's chapter two! Next update, there are consequences for Alex's actions, and a discovery is made.
> 
> As always, thank you or reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation, so leave them here or at my tumblr @fanciful-follies!
> 
> Also, the feedback for this fic has been amazing! 50+ kudos already and a whole lot of great comments. My heart is full <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy double update day!!!! If you haven't read the chapter I posted on Tuesday, make sure you read that first! :)

Alex wakes with a start, someone’s hand on his shoulder, shaking him roughly.

He blinks his eyes open, focuses on the outline of Eliza in front of him, her eyes wide, a finger on her lips. When Alex raises his eyebrows in question, Eliza leans in closer.

“There’s someone downstairs,” she whispers.

Mind still foggy with sleep, the words take a few seconds to register, but once they do, Alex pushes himself up into a sitting position, concentrates on listening, but hears nothing. “Are you sure?”

Eliza gives him a look, nods her head. “I’m sure. More than just one person.”

Alex glances over at where the orb is sitting on his bedside table, and fear begins to trickle down his spine. It might not be about that, it could just be normal burglars. It could be completely unrelated. But better safe than sorry. “Wake Herc and John," he says. "Sneak out my window and down the tree. I need to get my mom.”

“Alex – “

“I’ll be careful,” he tells her before she can finish, sliding off the bed and padding quietly over to the door. He pulls it open as slowly as he can, heart thumping in his chest as he steps out into the hall and creeps along the floor, the only lighting being the couple of lanterns lit along the walls, the flames casting long shadows. Alex pauses at the top of the stairs, holds his breath, and listens.

He can hear footsteps clearly now, along with the hush of low voices speaking, a lot of them, and suddenly it feels as if his heart is in his throat, blocking air from reaching his lungs. This is bad. Really bad.

“Search the place thoroughly,” one voice says, breaking through the murmur of the others with a calm but authoritative tone. “Do it unseen, if you can. We know its here. Seabury crashed in the area after we attacked. And that’s the chest its been carried in.”

Alex curses under his breath, realizing with growing dread that he’d left the chest Seabury had given him on one of the tables. There’s no denying it now. Whoever these people are, they’re after the orb. The orb Alex brought into his house without a second thought after witnessing Seabury _die_ for it.

“And if we are seen?” Another voice asks, and Alex swears he hears the sound of a gun being cocked. “Then what?”

“Then we deal with that if it happens,” the first voice responds. “Now search. And check every crack and every crevice, every corner. You three start here. We’ll look in the kitchen before heading upstairs.”

Those words spur Alex into action, and he tiptoes down the rest of the hallway, shaking hands curling around a doorknob before slowly, _slowly_ pushing the door to his mom’s room open.

He slips inside, the room dark, and he prays that he doesn’t stumble over anything as he makes his way over to his mom’s bed. He places a hand on her shoulder, gives her a small shake, and then another, feels the moment she wakes up, her body tensing slightly.

“Alexander,” she murmurs after a few seconds, voice hoarse. “What are you – “

He hushes her quickly. “Mom.” He pauses to swallow, his throat dry. “Mom, there’s someone downstairs. They broke in. We need to go, we need to – “

He cuts off when his mom sits up suddenly, her eyes searching Alex’s face. Then there’s a loud noise from downstairs, startling them both,  and Alex notes the fear starting to creep into his mom’s expression, and he feels his stomach twist.

“Are there any other people staying who paid for rooms tonight?” he asks, slight relief hitting him when his mom shakes her head. “Okay. Okay, then let’s go. We can get out through my room, onto the roof and then down the tree. I already told Herc, John, and Eliza to leave.” He hopes he sounds more confident than he feels.

They creep out of her room hand in hand, pausing by the staircase, both of them listening intently. There’s a murmur of voices growing louder, moving closer, and Alex’s heart clenches. They’re going to have to be quick.

He squeezes his mom’s hand, nods to the other end of the hallway, and his mom nods back. They take a step forward together, and Alex winces when the floorboards creak under their weight. They pause, and Alex’s heart starts to beat painfully against his ribcage when the voices downstairs fall silent.

“There’s someone up there,” a voice says, and Alex swallows hard, gets a tighter grip on his mom’s hand. “We should – “

Alex dashes forward before the voice finishes, tugging his mom behind him. There’s a curse, a beat of silence, and then the sound of a blaster being fired followed by a loud shattering.

His mom cries out, and fear slams into Alex as he whips his head around. But his mom is still upright, appears to be fine. Then Alex notices the lantern on the wall has been hit, the blast having caused the protective casing to break, and the open flame begins to lick against the wall.

“I said not to shoot!” A voice yells in anger.

“But there are people,” the first voice yells back, and then there are footsteps pounding up the stairs. “There’s – “

Alex jumps back into action, hurtling down the hall with his mom beside him. They turn the corner, another blast hitting right above their heads, another lantern shattering above them. Alex thinks he feels the heat of fire against his back, but he ignores it, sprints the last few feet into his room.

He slams the door shut, moves quickly out of the way when Herc – clearly having been waiting for them – pushes Alex’s dresser in front of the door, barricading it.

“Where’s Eliza and John?” Alex gasps out, pressing a hand to his chest as he tries to catch his breath, tries to slow his heartbeat.

“Getting the horses and carriage,” Herc tells them, eyes wide. “What’s going on? Who’s – “

A bang at the door makes all three of them jump. They watch as the dresser shakes and rattles, the people clearly having found their hiding place. The dresser won't hold for long.

“No time,” Alex says, moving to his bedside table and grabbing the orb, the surface cool against his palm, calming him somewhat. “We have to go.”

Herc nods, and then all three of them are glancing at the door when it shifts open just a little, shouts and curses and smoke filing in from the hallway.

Alex pushes them all towards the window, nerves running through him and making his hands shake as Herc crawls onto the roof first.

“Now you,” Alex says, looking at his mom.

“You go first, you – “

“Mom!” Alex shoves her towards the window, tries to ignore the bangs and shouts coming from right outside his door. “Go! I’ll be right behind you.” He helps her crawl out, holds onto one of her hands to keep her steady.

Then it’s his turn, and Alex eases one leg out before hesitating, and both his mom and Herc throw him a panicked, bewildered look.

“My book,” Alex says, and he looks over his shoulder, eyes moving past the slowly but surely widening door and onto his bed where his storybook lies. He can’t leave it. “My book, I – “

“Leave it,” his mom calls out, tugging on his arm. “Alexander, you need to leave it.”

“But it’s right there!” Alex argues. “It’s right – “ He cuts off when the door bursts wide open, his dresser knocked to the side, heat and smoke and light filling the room, making Alex stumble back, his mom steadying him.

Then there’s a shout, from who Alex doesn’t know, because he’s too focused on the figures bursting in, the room too dark for Alex to make out their features, and the swirling smoke from the fire in the hallway isn’t helping.

But Alex does see the eye of the person in front glow red, sees the flash of silver as he raises his arm, sees –

“Alexander!” his mom cries, and then there’s a forceful tug, and Alex is pulled out onto the roof, barely able to hold himself upright as his mom drags him over to the tree, basically pushing him onto it.

They all clamber down, accumulating scrapes from the tree branches in their haste, but they make it, and Eliza and John are waiting for them at the bottom, carriage ready.

They climb in, the carriage already starting to move before Alex has his other foot inside. Before he closes the door, he glances behind him at the Inn – their source of income, their home – and sees the flames flickering out of the windows, sees them climbing higher, smoke rising into the air and Alex winces. This is all his fault.

There’s a sharp intake of breath from behind him, and Alex turns, takes in the sight of his mom looking at the Inn with wide eyes, her lips parted. And then she groans, bends forward to cover her face with her hands, shoulders starting to shake.

And Alex shuts the door, sits back against his seat, fear starting to slip away the further they drive, but shame quickly takes its place, the sounds of his mom’s crying making tears prick at Alex’s own eyes, guilt building in his chest until he feels like he’s going to split wide open.

-

There’s a steady flow of voices in the background, but Alex pays them no attention, focuses instead on the orb clutched in his hands. He hasn’t let go of it since they got to the Schuyler’s house a few hours ago, had poked and prodded at it the whole time Eliza relayed the tale of what happened to her sisters and her father.

Even when Mayor Schuyler was making promises of helping fix the Inn, of catching the people who did it, and offering their guest rooms to Alex and his mom for as long as they needed before heading out to see what he could discover about the incident, Alex hadn’t even so much as looked up.

He needs to figure out what the orb is. If he figures it out, then that will make everything that had happened worth it. He has to figure it out. He _has_ to. Then his mom will be proud of him, then she won’t look so tired and distraught. He’ll make her proud, make her hopeful that he can fix everything instead of continuing to ruin everything. He –

“Alex?”

He jumps at the sound of his name, finally glances up to see Peggy, the youngest Schuyler sister, standing in front of him with a steaming mug in her hands. She holds it out to him.

“Do you want some tea?”

Alex blinks at her, shifts a little in his seat, notices for the first time since arriving that his throat is dry, his muscles aching. He manages a small smile. “Thanks.” He puts down the orb, takes the mug and brings it to his lips.

Peggy sits down beside him, quiet for a moment, but then she knocks her shoulder against his gently. “I know it’s probably a dumb question, but, how are you doing?”

“I’m…” Alex trails off after the one word, looks around the room until he finds his mom sitting in a chair across the room, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She’s nodding along as Angelica talks to her, sniffing occasionally and wiping at her eyes.

Alex curls his fingers around the mug, tries to find comfort in the heat pressing against his palms, but none comes. He shrugs, takes another sip of the tea, and then goes back to saying nothing.

And Peggy doesn’t press any further, just rests a hand on Alex’s shoulder for a few seconds before getting up, leaving Alex to his own thoughts. But it doesn’t take long for Eliza to take her sister’s place, plopping beside Alex and then placing a hand on his knee.

“Hey,” she murmurs. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“I don’t want to talk right now.”

“Well that’s not like you,” Eliza says, going for a teasing tone, but then she sighs when Alex doesn’t respond. “Alex. You can’t change what happened. All you can do is move forward. And we’re going to help you and your mom for however long you need help.”

Alex nods, opens his mouth to say thank you, but the words get caught in his throat. Their hospitality shouldn’t make Alex angry, but it does. He’s so angry at himself. He should be the one helping his mom, _he_ should be able to make everything better. But instead he’s the cause of all of this.

He sets down his tea, picks up the orb again. “I just…” he trails off, shakes his head. “I just wish I knew what it was. Then this whole thing, what happened, it wouldn’t seem so…” He trails off again, doesn’t know who to voice what he’s feeling, doesn’t want to admit how awful he feels.

But Eliza smiles at him. “I know. But you couldn’t have known what was going to happen.”

“But I did!” Alex argues, stomach twisting. “Seabury said a cyborg was after it and – “ he cuts off there, clenches his jaw as he remembers the flash of silver he’d seen before climbing out the window, just like described in all those stories. “And he was right. It was Silver. He came and he could have killed us all. And it’s my fault.”

“But we’re all alive,” Eliza tells him gently. “None of us are even hurt, Alex I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but it will all turn out okay. And hey, we’re probably part of a very small percentage of people who have escaped Silver. That’s something.”

Alex cracks a smile at that, and Eliza chuckles, throws an arm around Alex’s shoulders and lets silence fall over them for a few minutes.

Alex busies himself with tracing his fingers over the orb, twisting it around in his grip every now and then and pressing down at random.

“It’s hard to believe so much trouble has happened because of that thing,” Eliza murmurs, and Alex glances over to see her watching his hands. “It doesn’t seem particularly important. It just – “ she cuts off suddenly, and once she does, Alex becomes aware of a strange noise filling the room.

He glances back down at the orb, a small gasp leaving him when he takes in the sight of a green light shining through the lines on the surface, coming from inside of it.

Alex stands, Eliza doing the same seconds later. Then they’re both watching with mouths open as the light shines brighter and brighter. Then the orb is opening, the top half of it flipping open, and Alex almost drops it in surprise as the green light grows even brighter, shooting out from inside the orb, seeming to grow outward.

Once the light dims, Alex blinks his eyes to see that the orb has produced some sort of holographic representation of a globe, so large that it encompasses the whole room, Alex and Eliza standing in the middle of it, staring around in wonder at the replication of their solar system above their heads.

“It’s a map,” Eliza breathes out. She points up, her finger almost touching the planet above them. “This is us, Montressor. And there!” She points a little further ahead of them. “That’s the Magellanic Cloud! And there, the Coral Galaxy. And oh! That’s the Cygnus Cross and that’s the Kerian Abyss and that’s – “ Eliza falters, eyes growing wide as she points behind Alex. “That’s…is that…?”

Alex follows her gaze, his heart skipping a beat when he takes in the sight of a green planet across the room, two rings enveloping it on either side, looking just as it did in Alex’s storybook.

“Oh my god,” he breathes out.

“It can’t be. It's...”

“Treasure Planet!” Alex says, walking towards it, heart thumping wildly in his chest, his whole body feelings like its vibrating. “Oh my _god_.”

“No way,” another voice says, and Alex looks away momentarily to see John looking dumbstruck on the other end of the room. Alex’s mom, Herc, Angelica, and Peggy are also standing there, matching expressions of awe on their faces.

“That's Treasure Planet!” Eliza exclaims, coming up beside Alex and letting out a laugh. “I can’t believe it. I…that’s where Hanover’s trove is! The loot of a thousand worlds!” She catches Alex’s eye, excitement etched across her face, and Alex is sure his expression matches. “It’s been right there this whole time and no one ever found it!”

Now Alex laughs, a grin spreading across his face. He can’t believe this is happening, can’t believe that the stupid orb is a map to treasure planet. “This is…I…” He cuts off and laughs again. “Do you know what this means?” he asks Eliza, and she reaches out for his free hand, grips it tight.

“It means that we know where Treasure Planet is! It means we can get there. It means that all that treasure is only a ship ride away!”

They both start laughing at the same time, and then they’re hugging, practically jumping up and down in excitement. It’s only once someone clears their throat that Alex and Eliza break apart, Alex turning to see his mom staring at him with her jaw set.

“Mom – “ Alex starts.

“No,” she cuts in, her voice firm. “No. You are _not_ going.”

“But – “

“ _No_ , Alexander.” She walks over to him, tries to take the orb out of his hands, but Alex jumps back, making his mom give him a long, stern look. “Listen to me. This is…it’s insane. You’re talking about going on some trip that would take months and has to be dangerous in about a hundred different ways. What makes you think I would ever let you do that?”

Alex clutches tight at the orb, stares at his mom and does his best to look calm and determined, not jittery with excitement and fear of losing this chance before he’s even attempted it. “But mom, this is it!” He takes a step closer to her. “You said we needed to come up with a plan to fix everything and this is it! This is the answer to all our problems!”

His mom just laughs at that, the sound coming out pained. “And how do you figure that?”

 **“** Don't you remember? All those stories about Treasure Planet and what’s on it?”

 **“** That's all they were Alexander,  _stories_!” His mom throws up her hands, and then covers her mouth, runs her fingers over her lips and looks so distraught that Alex falters for a second before continuing, determined to make his mom understand.

 **“** With that treasure, we could rebuild the Inn a hundred times over!”

“I don’t care about the Inn!” His mom says, her voice rising in pitch. She steps forward, cups Alex’s face. “I care about you!” She pauses there, her eyes glassy, and she gives Alex a small shake. “I can’t lose you, too.”

Again, Alex falters in his argument. But then he brings up a hand to cover one of his mom’s, takes a deep breath. “I have to do this mom, I _have_ to. And…and I _will_ do this. But I want to do it with your blessing.”

“Alexander…” His mom shifts, moves so that she’s taking Alex’s hand in hers, bringing them both down so they’re resting against her chest. She shakes her head once. **“** Going out there on your own for months, it’s…it’s – “

 **“** It's totally insane!” Eliza interjects, causing both Alex and his mom to stare at her in surprise, Alex narrowing his eyes. How could Eliza say that? “Traversing the entire galaxy alone is insane!” Eliza places her hands on her hips, and then points a finger at Alex. “And that's why I'm going with you!”

“Excuse me?” Angelica says, taking a step closer to where the three of them are huddled under the hologram of planets. “You’re _what_?”

“How is that any better?” Alex’s mom asks before Eliza can answer her sister.

Eliza stands up a little straighter, crosses her arms in front of her. “Well, to start, I’m two years old than Alex and – “

“A year and a half,” Alex grumbles.

“ – And I'll use my savings to finance the expedition; I can commission a ship, hire a respectable captain and a crew...”she trails off there, eyes taking on a far away look before she gives herself a small shake. “I can look after him.” She catches Alex’s eye and then smiles. “We’ll look after each other.”

Alex’s mom stares long and hard at Eliza, and then back at Alex. **“** You two are really serious about this.”

“Yes.” Alex squeezes his mom’s hand. “Mom, all my life, I've been waiting for an opportunity like this, and here it is.”

“But does it have to be _this_?” Alex’s mom asks, her voice tight and still unconvinced. “Why can’t you try going back to school?”

“I _hated_ school.”

John snorts at that. “You only hated school cause everyone hated you, students _and_ teachers included.”

Alex stares at John, takes in his friend’s laid back posture and the smirk on his face, which just makes his words sting even more, knowing that John doesn’t even know how much what he just said hurts.

Clearing his throat, Alex turns back to his mom, does his best to smile at her despite the desperate worry on her face. **“** Mom,” he starts softly. “Look. I _know_ that I keep messing everything up. And I know...that I let you down.” Alex pauses, takes a moment to gather himself, to breathe in and out once in an attempt to keep his voice steady. “I know I’m a disappointment. But this is my chance to make it up to you! I can set things _right_.”

His mom’s expression had shifted from worry to sadness throughout his speech, and she drops his hand, brings hers back up to his face again, smoothing her thumb over his cheek. “Oh, Alexander,” she murmurs. “Honey. You are not a disappointment.” She gives him a shaky smile. “You are my greatest accomplishment, and I never want you to forget that. Okay?”

Alex nods, sniffs as quietly as he can, his throat suddenly tight. “But…” He tilts his head back, blinks back tears and lets out a laugh. “But sometimes I don’t feel that way,” he tells his mom softly, not wanting anyone else to hear. He looks back down at her. “I keep messing up. And I want to do better.”

“And you really believe that this is the best option?”

Alex shrugs, throws another smile on his face. **“** There are much worse remedies than a few character-building months in space.”

Alex’s mom laughs at that, a genuinely happy laugh, and a spark of hope flares in Alex’s chest. “Are you saying this because it's the right thing, or just because you want go?”

“I really, really, really,  _really_  want to go,” Alex says, making her laugh again. Then he catches her eye, grows more serious as he takes a deep breath. “ _And_  it's the right thing.”

His mom sighs. “Alexander...I don't want to lose you.”

 **“** You won’t,” he promises. “I’ll make you proud.”

His mom searches his face, a frown tugging at her mouth. Alex sees her breathe in deep, sees her swallow. And then she’s shaking her head, mouth curving up into a half smile. “I never can say no to those eyes,” she murmurs, and she pinches Alex’s cheek. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Alex asks, a grin already spreading across his face. “Really?”

“Don’t make me second-guess myself already,” his mom tells him with a watery laugh. She takes a step back, lets her hand drop to her side. “I’m sure we’ll talk more about this as you plan, and I know I’ll change my mind at least a hundred times, but for now…” She glances over at Eliza. “Why don’t you two show me how exactly you’re going to get there?”

Eliza smiles, bounds over to the two of them and then starts pointing up at the holograms floating above them, already spitting out facts about the galaxy Alex can’t keep up with followed by equations and physic theories that somehow determine what path they’ll travel and how long it’ll take to get to Treasure Planet.

And Alex smiles as Eliza continues to talk, reaches out to take his mom's hand again and then tilts his head back to look up at the wide expanse of the galaxy above him.

-

The next week goes by quickly and not quickly enough.

Eliza finds a crew and a ship within days, and she tells Alex that the captain, Captain Prevost, is apparently one of the most respectable captains in all of the Terran Empire despite being in her mid-twenties. When their in private, Eliza admits to Alex that Prevost and her first mate, some guy named Washington, cost so much to hire along with their ship that the rest of the crew Eliza stumbled upon aren’t exactly respectable, but will do well enough.

In the days leading up to them leaving, Alex tries to busy himself by helping out around the Schuyler’s house however he can – making meals, cleaning, running errands for Mayor Schuyler, but there’s always this undercurrent of impatience to his actions. Treasure Planet is always in the back of his mind.

Alex also devotes as much time as he can to lifting his mom’s spirits as best he can. He tells her stories, cracks jokes, even allows her to try and teach him to dance one night, although it ends with him almost knocking them both over.

But his mom is laughing more, seems happier, so it’s all worth it.

The night before Alex and Eliza are set to leave, they’re both too excited to stay in one place, barely even making it through dinner before they’re rushing upstairs to pack some last minute items.

Before he heads up, Alex’s mom hugs him tight, tells him she’s going to turn in early. Alex can hear the hitch in her breath when she talks, can see the tears starting in her eyes, but he doesn’t mention them, just hugs her back and says goodnight, swallowing past the burning sensation in his throat.

John follows Alex up to the room he’s been staying in, watches from the bed as Alex crams some clothes the Schuyler’s had gotten him into a small bag. There’s really not much for him to pack besides that and the small compass he’d bought at a store a few days ago. He doubts he’ll use it, but it didn’t seem right to head off on a big adventure without a compass.

After about half an hour of fretting over what little supplies he has, Alex lies down on the bed beside John with a huff.

“So, you’re definitely going?” John asks. “No second thoughts?”

“No second thoughts,” Alex tells him, smiling up at the ceiling. “I can’t wait to get out of here, can’t wait to prove to everyone that I can do this.” It feels as if his whole body is vibrating from just thinking about it.

John is silent for a moment. “You make it sound like you’re never coming back.”

Alex tilts his head at John’s words, catches him already staring back, his eyes sad, and Alex gives him a small smile. “I’ll come back,” Alex murmurs, and he inches his hand closer to John’s where it lies on the bed, their fingertips brushing. “What? You don’t believe me?”

“I don’t know. You are a habitual liar.”

Alex laughs, the sound getting caught in his throat when John suddenly shifts, scoots closer. Alex swallows thickly, traces the pattern of some of the freckles on John’s cheeks with his eyes. It will be weird not seeing him for so long.

“Do I get a goodbye kiss?” John whispers, smiling at him when Alex scoffs. “You’ll be gone for months. I think I deserve a goodbye kiss.”

“John…”

“Alex.”

Heat starts to curl low in Alex’s stomach when John pushes himself up so that he’s hovering over him, one of his hands coming up to cup Alex’s face.

“Can I?”

Alex caves and nods, and a second later, John’s mouth is on his, kissing him so hard that Alex already feels breathless.

His hands scramble against the fabric of John’s shirt, and he tugs and pulls until John crawls fully on top of him, lips never leaving Alex’s in the process.

John wastes no time in divesting Alex of his own shirt, and then he’s bending down, sucking at a patch of skin right above Alex’s collarbone, causing him to squirm.

“Shit,” Alex gasps out when John ruts his hips down, and he opens his legs a little more, giving him more room. “I’m going to miss this.”

“Yeah?” John lifts his head, smirks at Alex before kissing him again, licking into his mouth with purpose as his hands smooth up and down Alex’s sides, hips still shifting down every couple of seconds, providing a glorious friction for Alex to rub against.

Alex kisses John back with just as much fervor, nips at his lower lip and drags his nails down John’s back, arches off the mattress to meet John’s slow thrusts. “Take – “ Alex has to pause to breathe in deep. “Take this off.” He tugs at John’s shirt, watches as John pulls back to comply.

Then they’re back to kissing heatedly, bare skin on bare skin, and Alex shudders at the feeling of it all, realizes that soon he won’t have this to depend on, to find comfort in. He slides his hands down to John’s ass, squeezes. And John laughs against his mouth, noses at Alex’s jaw before pressing an open-mouthed kiss there.

“What’s so funny?” Alex murmurs, arching off the mattress again and smiling at John’s resulting groan. “You started this. So finish it.”

John rolls his hips down particularly hard after Alex’s words, and they both gasp. John rests his forehead against Alex’s, repeats the movement and bites down on his lip before laughing again. “God, I’m going to miss you.”

Now Alex smirks, and he nudges at John until they’re lips are meeting in a rather sloppy kiss. “C’mon,” he urges, palming at John’s ass again, wanting to get things started. “C’mon, John. Touch me.”

“Yeah,” John breathes out, and one of his hands slides between them, fumbling with the front of Alex’s pants before finally, finally slipping inside, fingers wrapping around Alex’s cock.

And Alex hisses at the sensation, squeezes his eyes shut when John starts to pump him in quick strokes, his lips pressed to Alex’s temple, murmuring soft words that Alex doesn’t really pay attention to but lets wash over him along with the warmth starting to spread from his lower stomach all the way to his toes. He lets all of it wash over him, basks in the attention, savors it, too keyed up to really recognize that this is a goodbye.

Afterwards, Alex is sated and lying on his side, John plastered against his back and snoring softly. They had cracked a window before crawling under the covers, and the breeze is slipping into the room, cool against Alex’s skin.

He blinks at the sky, tries to chart the course he’ll soon be on with his eyes, and he can’t stop himself from smiling, from shifting restlessly on the bed, his head already starting to spin with all the possibilities of what’s out there, of what he’ll find.

All those legends and stories he’d read as a kid, all those dreams he had with images of gold and jewels and far away planets….

Soon, none of it will be a dream anymore. Soon, Alex will be living and breathing those legends, maybe even playing a part in one himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week, the adventure begins ;) 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading!!! Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation (and increase the chances of another double update in the future). Leave em here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thursday!
> 
> Enjoy x

The next morning, Alex and Eliza find transport to get to Crescentia, the artificial satellite that orbits Montressor and acts as its spaceport, and the place where their ship – the RLS Legacy – is waiting for them.

Alex’s mom, along with the Schuylers, Herc, and John accompany them. His mom is quiet on the ride over, but whenever Alex glances at her, she gives him a small smile, quelling some of the guilt Alex is still carrying in his chest.

The docks are crowded once they reach the spaceport, and Alex sticks close to Eliza as they make their way through the crowds, heart beating rapidly with excitement and nerves. He can’t believe this is really happening.

“There it is!” Eliza shouts suddenly, pointing ahead of them. “Our ship! It’s beautiful!”

Alex takes in the sight of the ship, the hugeness of it almost overwhelming. It is beautiful. Better than Alex could have ever dreamed. Him and Eliza share a quick smile, and then Eliza is turning to say goodbye to her family, and Alex turns to do the same.

He pulls Herc into a hug first, thumping them on the back. “I’ll see you around, Mulligan.”

Herc just snorts, pulls back and knocks Alex gently on the shoulder. “You bet your ass you will. Don’t do anything too stupid, yeah?”

Alex just laughs at that, and then he’s looking past Herc, confusion hitting him when he doesn’t see John. “Where’s John?” He could have sworn he was there a moment ago.

Herc shifts at the question, a weird expression falling over their face. “Don’t worry about it.” They rub at the back of their neck, offers Alex a smile. “He probably just ran off somewhere.”

Alex narrows his eyes at the evasive answer, but then he just shrugs it off, a little miffed that John didn’t stick around to say goodbye. But then there’s a tap on his shoulder, and Alex finds himself face to face with Angelica.

“Take care of yourself,” she tells him, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek, lips quirking into a smile when Alex makes a surprised sound at the gesture. “And take care of Eliza. If anything happens to her…”

“I’ll look after her,” Alex promises, and Angelica gives him a long look before nodding, appearing satisfied with his answer. Then Alex is taking a deep breath as he turns to his mom, who is already looking at him with watery eyes.

She steps forward and wraps her arms around Alex. “I love you,” she tells him, her voice unsteady, but her arms are tight around him. “And I want you to remember that, okay?”

“I love you, too,” Alex says, swallowing past the tightness in his throat. He swipes at his nose with the back of his hand after his mom steps back and releases him, laughing a little when his mom does the same.

“Here.” She reaches under the collar of her dress and pulls out a locket attached to a long, golden chain. “I want you to take this with you.”

Alex accepts it, that same tightness filling his throat again when he opens the locket to see a hologram rise out of it of him and his mom from years ago, the image showing him as a toddler, his mom holding him and laughing brightly.

“Mom…” Alex shakes his head. “I can’t take this, you should – “

“Take it,” his mom says. “You won’t be here for your birthday, anyway. I want you to have it.”

Alex hesitates a moment before nodding his head, closing the locket and slipping the chain over his neck. “Okay.” He takes another deep breath, throws a smile on his face and reaches out to squeeze his mom’s hand once. “Well, I guess this is it.” He squeezes her hand again. “I’ll see you in a few months.” He starts to let go, takes one step back.

“Alexander.” His mom grabs at his wrist, stopping him, and when he turns, he sees that her expression is pained, a hint of panic creeping over it. “You…I need you to promise me something right now. You promise me that you’ll come back. No matter what.”

Alex takes his mom’s hand again, squeezes it tight. “I promise,” he tells her, his voice wavering on the words, but he smiles. “I’ll come back. With the treasure.”

His mom laughs at that, shaking her head, but then she’s pulling him into another hug, and Alex doesn’t want to admit to how hard he clings to her. “Be safe,” she murmurs in his ear, and Alex nods.

“I will.” He pulls back, hands on her shoulders. “I’ll see you soon.” Then he lets his hands drop and turns around, beginning to walk over to where he sees Eliza waiting for him. Before he reaches her, though, he pauses and looks back, raises his hand in one last wave to his mom, which she returns with a wobbly smile.

When he reaches Eliza, she takes his hand in hers, and he gives her a grateful look as they walk aboard the ship side by side.

The crew is already in action, everyone running around and shouting out terms that Alex doesn’t know, but he watches them with rapt attention, a smile on his face. This is going to be so _cool_.

“Hi!”

Alex jumps slightly at the exclamation, turns to see a man in a blue jacket bounding over to them, his black hair bouncing in front of his eyes before he pushes it back with a hand and then extending that same hand out towards them.

“Hi?” Alex says back, glancing at Eliza before reaching out to shake the man’s hand. “Uhm, who – “

“I’m Bellamy,” the man cuts in before Alex can even get his question out. “I’m the sailing master for the trip, doing the navigating and piloting and all that.”

Alex’s eyebrows rise at the information. The man seems too young to have acquired such a lengthy education that’s required to be a sailing master. “Oh. Well, I’m Alex. This is Eliza. We’re…” he trails off, doesn’t really know _what_ they’re role on the ship is.

“We financed the expedition,” Eliza cuts in, and Alex thinks he sees something flash across Bellamy’s face before the man is grinning at them, rocking forward on his feet.

“Ah. Well, many thanks for the job, then. Be sure to let me know if I can help you with anything. I couldn’t help but notice you both looked a little lost.”

“It’s our first time on a ship of this size,” Eliza admits. “And actually, could you help us find the captain? We should probably formally introduce ourselves. I’m just not sure where to go.“

“I can help you!” Bellamy says, immediately putting a hand on Eliza and Alex’s backs, ushering them forward and guiding them through the crowds of people. “I know how confusing it can be being on a ship for the first time.” He beams down at Alex, pats his back a few times. “I’m more than happy to help. Really, I – “

“Is that my compass?” Alex interrupts, twisting slightly when notices the golden gleam of it catching the afternoon sun, confused when he sees that it is somehow in Bellamy’s hand.

“Is it?” Bellamy asks, quickly moving his hand away from Alex’s side where it had been resting. “I mean, it is! Yes! You dropped it.” Bellamy shoves the compass back into the pouch hanging from Alex’s belt, avoids Alex’s gaze and just keeps smiling. “You’re welcome. Now, where were we? Oh, right. The captain. Let’s – “

“Captain on deck!” A deep voice shouts, and Alex and Eliza both turn around to see a woman emerging from below deck, donned in a black naval uniform with gold threading, a sword hanging at her hip.

Alex watches as a tall, broad shouldered man steps to the woman’s side, bending to whisper something in her ear. Then the woman’s eyes latch onto him and Eliza, and she begins to make her way over to them, her long braids beneath her captain’s hat swaying with each step.

“Mr. Hamilton? Miss Schuyler?” She asks once she reaches them, and Alex notices how her pupils are elongated rather than round, and wonders if she’s part Felinid. She nods once they both affirm their identities. “I am Captain Theodosia Prevost. Welcome aboard the RLS Legacy.”

Alex inclines his head into a nod. “Thank you.” He glances over at Eliza, surprised to see a faint blush spreading across her cheeks.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Eliza says, and Alex and Theodosia both watch as Eliza dips into something resembling a curtsey. Once she rises, she catches Alex’s eye, face growing a shade redder when Alex smirks at her. “Uhm…so. I…or you…you – “

“This is my first mate,” Theodosia cuts in, lips quirked up slightly as her eyes move from Eliza to the man still standing a few steps behind her. “George Washington. You won’t find a better man than him. Tough as rocks. Literally.”

Alex glances at Washington, takes in his huge stature and connects that to Theodosia’s words and figures that Washington must be part Cragorian – a class of rockpeople who usually possess excellent combat and leadership skills. He definitely looks like someone who shouldn't be crossed.

“Pleased to met you both,” Washington says, voice deep and rumbling. He looks at Theodosia and grins. “And really, captain, the compliments aren’t necessary. I should be the one spouting poetics, since I have the honor of serving under one of the youngest captain’s to come out of the Naval Port Academy.”

Theodosia flashes a grin at Washington, revealing prominently pointed canines and confirming Alex’s thoughts from earlier. Definitely part Felinid. “Well, enough of that.” She focuses her attention back on Alex and Eliza. “I’m sure you both have a lot of questions, so let’s – “

“How long will it take to get to the treasure?" Alex asks, unable to keep the question at bay and not stopping his flow of words even when he sees Theodosia's eyes grow wide. "And will we get to keep any of it? I mean, I know that's kind of a stupid question, but I feel like discovering Treasure Planet means that we should at least - "

"Let's continue this down in my office," Theodosia cuts in, her voice sharp and making Alex snap his mouth shut immediately. Theodosia, with Washington at her side, leads Alex and Eliza down the stairs and along a corridor before ushering them all into a room. “You must be careful,” Theodosia starts, closing the doors behind them, “to not speak of treasure in front of this particular crew.”

“What do you mean?” Eliza asks, sounding surprised.

“I mean that you’ve chosen a very interesting group of people for this trip, Miss Schuyler.” Theodosia crosses the room so that she’s standing in front of both him and Eliza. “The only names I recognize are that of our boatswain and cook, Mr. Burr, and another, Mr. Bellamy. But that’s only because of the reputation of their respective families. The rest of the crew seems…unruly, to say the least.”

“Surely you can handle them,” Eliza says, and then her face flushes. “I-I didn’t mean that to sound so, I only meant that you – “ She cuts herself off there, and Theodosia gives her an appraising look before turning her gaze to Alex.

“Mr. Hamilton,” she starts, looking him up and down. “I understand that you are in possession of the map.”

Alex nods, and he shrugs off his knapsack, digging around inside until he finds the orb.

“Wonderful,” Theodosia says, and then she’s holding out a hand. “I will keep it safe.”

Alex frowns, clutching the orb to his chest. “Why do you get to keep it?” He asks, not caring that the question comes out whinier that he intends. He doesn’t want to let the map out of his sight. Seabury gave it to _him_.

Theodosia’s eyebrows rise. “I get to keep it, Mr. Hamilton, because I say so.” She stares at Alex, long seconds ticking by, until he reluctantly places the orb in her outstretched hand. “Very good.”

She walks over to the wall, taking a picture down to reveal a safe behind it, which she unlocks before placing the orb inside. “Now, in the future, Mr. Hamilton, you will refer to me as ma’am or as captain, is that clear?”

Alex scowls, but then Theodosia is turning back around with a serious expression, but he thinks he sees her lips twitch when she takes in his stubborn expression. “Yes,” he grumbles, gritting his teeth when Theodosia raises her eyebrows again. “Yes, captain.” He shifts on his feet. “So, no one else knows what we’re searching for?”

“None but the four of us in this room. The other crew members are only privy to the fact that we are on a long voyage to recover something important that was not discovered until very recently.”

“Won’t Bellamy figure it out?” Alex asks. “I mean, he’s navigating right? Won’t he need to see the map? I just don’t get why they can’t know or – “

“Mr. Hamilton.” Theodosia takes a step towards him. “I’ll need you to trust my judgement on this. A crew who knows that we are voyaging towards Treasure Planet in the hopes of attaining large amounts of treasure will be much harder to control than a crew who does not know. And as for navigation, I understand that Miss Schuyler is an Astrophysicist with vast knowledge on the universe, and already has a hand drawn map available that we will be able to give Mr. Bellamy without naming our destination.”

“Oh, yes!” Eliza opens her bag and pulls out several large, rolled up pieces of paper. “I’m more than happy to go over it with you.”

“Good. Now, Mr. Hamilton, Mr. Washington will show you to your quarters are. Luckily this ship is larger than most, so I trust you will be comfortable.”

Alex does his best to not scowl as Washington leads him out, but he feels like a kid who just got sent to their room, and it’s definitely not how he expected things to go.

“So the captain’s kind of intense,” Alex says as Washington leads further down the hallway. When he peers over at Washington, the man is staring down his nose at Alex.

“I won’t tolerate any disrespect towards Captain Prevost,” Washington tells him. “She has worked incredibly hard and is the most adept sailor you will ever have the privilege of working under. Now…” Washington pauses outside of a door before pushing it open, sweeping an arm out to show Alex the inside. “This is where most of the crew will be sleeping. You may drop off your things at a cot of your choosing.”

Alex steps in, is actually pleasantly surprised at the space of the room and the collection of cots on the floor. He drops his bag onto one by the wall, and then turns back to Washington. “Now what?” He wants to know what he’s going to be doing while on board.

“I’ll take you to meet more of the crew. It’ll be good to acquaint yourself with everyone. We’ll start out in the kitchen.” Washington walks across the room to another door and opens it, Alex at his heels. “Mr. Burr,” Washington calls out as they walk in further. “I’d like to introduce you to Mr. Hamilton, one of the benefactors of this trip.”

Alex’s eyes roam around the room briefly before moving to the center of the room, where a man - mostly likely Aaron Burr - is standing in front of a counter.

He’s probably a few years older than Alex, taller than him, too, which makes Alex straighten his back on instinct. Then Aaron is turning to look at him, and Alex sees the scars on one side of his face, starting from his temple and going over his left eye, stopping near his mouth. But that’s not what makes Alex look closer, his stomach twisting at what he sees.

He notices faint shimmers of silver around the edges of the scars, resembling something like metal, as if the material had been used to stitch the skin back together. Then the man’s eyes latch onto Alex, and his left eye shifts in color from a deep brown to gold, the pupil seeming to widen to an unnatural extent as he takes in the sight of Alex.

Then, furthering Alex’s growing suspicions, Aaron turns to face him fully, giving Alex a clear view of his right arm. He can only see up to the man’s elbow, the rest of his arm covered by the fabric of his shirt-sleeve, but it’s clear that the arm is made out of metal, probably once silver in color but now rusted over in most places.

“You’re a cyborg,” Alex blurts out, distrust slowly building in him. But, after a beat of heavy silence, Aaron just smirks.

“How astute of you.” His eyes move to Washington. “I wasn’t aware that we were bringing children on this trip.”

Alex bristles at that. “I’m not a child,” he snaps out before Washington can say anything, annoyance growing when both Washington and Aaron chuckle. Then there is a whistle from above deck, and Washington shifts on his feet.

“That would be the first whistle,” Washington says. "I’ll leave you two to get acquainted." And then he’s disappearing up another staircase, leaving Aaron and Alex alone.

A tense silence falls between them almost immediately, and Alex stares at Aaron as the man looks him over once more, something like amusement spreading across his face as his gaze roams over Alex’s clothes before he’s turning back to what he was doing earlier, which, as Alex walks closer, sees is chopping up various foods.

Alex watches his movements, keeping his lower lip caught between his teeth as he does, thinking hard. It’s more than unlikely that Aaron is who he’s thinking he is. Aaron is way too young to have built up such a reputation that Silver is rumored to have. But still…better safe than sorry.

“You ever been to Montressor before?” Alex asks, hoping that his tone is casual.

“Montressor?” Aaron says, taking a moment to pause what he’s doing, clearly considering Alex’s question. “No, no I can’t say that I have.” He resumes chopping, the sound of the knife loud and jarring in the room. “I spend most of my time at the space port when I’m in the area. Looking for jobs.”

Alex hums at that, but he keeps his eyes on Aaron, still wary. “I only ask because, well, that's where I'm from, and a few days ago this guy showed up where I live, talking about some cyborg who was trying to kill him. His name was Seabury. Samuel Seabury. Sound familiar?”

Aaron pauses his movements again, and he slowly turns to look at Alex, left eye flashing gold again. “Are you asking me if I recently hunted someone down in the hopes of murdering them?”

Alex feels his face grow warm at the question, but he just grits his teeth and keeps staring at Aaron, hoping that he can’t see how uneasy Alex is feeling. “Were you?”

Aaron just laughs, looking more amused than offended. “No, no I wasn’t. And I don’t have an alibi, which I’m sure is going to be your next question. But you’re more than welcome to hop off the ship and ask around for people who have seen me here for the past two weeks or so. Or you can even ask the captain. We’re somewhat acquainted, and I’m sure she’d vouch for me.”

Alex deflates a little at that response, his suspicions slowly beginning to morph into embarrassment. “Right,” he mutters. “Well, then. Good to know.” He rocks back on his heels when Aaron says nothing back, his embarrassment only growing. He must have come off as crazy. “Anyway, uh, I didn’t mean to…well, that is, I just want to say sorry, Mr. Burr, or, sir? I mean – “

“Aaron is fine,” Aaron interjects, and he moves over to the sink with a slight limp, making Alex think that one of his legs is probably metal, too. “And just a friendly piece of advice; if you want to keep out of trouble on this ship, I highly suggest that you don’t go around accusing anyone else of attempted murder. There’s another cyborg on board by the name of Charles Lee, and I don’t think he would take to kindly to such invasive and pointed questions.”

Alex ducks his head at the admonishment, cheeks burning. “Right. Well.” He clears his throat, glances back up to thankfully see that Aaron isn’t paying him any attention, that he can’t see the flush that Alex knows is on his face.

Instead Aaron is throwing the chopped up food into a container, slapping a lid on top before moving across the room, grabbing a dark leather jacket from where it lies draped across a chair.

As he slips it on over his shoulders, Alex can’t help but stare. Now that he’s not worrying that Aaron is a murderous pirate, he finds himself noticing the broadness of his shoulders, the way his pants, the same material and color of his jacket, fit over his legs, and Alex would be lying if he said that Aaron didn’t have an attractive face, or an attractive _everything_ , really.

It’s only once Alex trails his eyes up to Aaron’s that he realizes the other man is staring at him, gaze heavy but his expression guarded before slipping into something more blank. Feeling caught, Alex flushes again, and he clears his throat, shifts on his feet.

“I – “ he cuts off, not really sure what he’d been going to say, getting distracted by Aaron tugging thick, dark gloves onto his hands. When he slips one on over his metal hand, Alex once again realizes how off his assumptions had been, remembering the bright flash of silver he’d seen in his room that night. Aaron’s arm isn’t the same. Not to mention his eye only seems to glow gold and not red.

God, he’d been so _stupid_ to accuse Aaron. And what if he _had_ been Silver? Then what? Alex would have been all alone with an extremely dangerous person. He really needs to think things through more.

“So,” Aaron starts once it’s clear Alex isn’t going to say anything, cutting through the awkwardness hanging in the air. “You helped pay for the trip?”

“Yeah,” Alex says, excited to have another topic to discuss so he can stop thinking about what an idiot he’d just been. “Or well, no. Not technically. I don’t have any money. Or a house. It burned down a few days ago so, you know, it was kind of impossible for me to pay. Not that I could have financed this before, anyway. I don’t have job. I mean, I kind of did, just helping my mom out. But as I said, our Inn burned down. So, all I’ve got are the clothes on my back, you know?”

Aaron stares at him for a long couple of seconds after that, and Alex feels embarrassment hit him again. He’s always been prone to over sharing, and people usually think it’s weird, eventually start to avoid him cause of how much he talks. He hopes Aaron isn't put off by him already. That would be a new record.

“You must be taking that pretty literally,” Aaron eventually says, and Alex throws him a confused look. Aaron gestures to his outfit. “You’ve got like, five pouches clipped onto your clothes. It’s a bit much. And you jingle whenever you walk.”

Alex feels his face burn once again, and he glances down at his clothes, spreads his arms a little and feels more embarrassment wash over him when there _is_ a faint jingling sound. He opens his mouth to respond, but then he’s jerking his head back up when the sound of whistles blowing reaches him for the second time. They must be getting ready to set sail.

When he glances back at Aaron, the man is still watching him, and then he nods his head at the stairs.

“Go on,” he says. “Go up and watch.”

“Oh, uh, are you sure?” Alex asks, already taking a step back towards the stairs. “I mean…you don’t need any help? I do feel really bad about, you know, accusing you of murder, so if you need me to help I can. Not that I have any cooking experience whatsoever, my mom is the chef in my family. I only served people. Anyway, I can – “

Aaron cuts him off with an impatient noise, his expression having shifted to clear exasperation. “It wasn’t a suggestion. _Go_.”

Alex almost bristles at that. Who is this guy? Thinking he can order him around? He wouldn’t even have this job if it weren’t for Alex. But before he can voice any of his thoughts, Alex hears shouts and more whistles from above deck, and his excitement wins out over his indignation, and he simply turns around and rushes up the steps.

Once he reaches the deck, people are bustling around and he glimpses Theodosia calling out orders. Alex tilts his head back to see that the sails are being unfurled, orange currents of energy running through them, preparing for departure.

“Mr. Bellamy!” Theodosia calls out. “Are you ready for take-off?”

“Yes, captain!”

“Thrusters on, then, and full speed ahead!”

Alex runs over to one side of the ship, looks over the edge of it and feels a smile spread across his face as the ship begins to rise into the air. The rush of it, the wind blowing through his hair, it all reminds Alex of the many times he had flown on solar glider. But better. Way, _way_ better.

Wanting to get a better view, Alex spins around and sets his eyes on the ropes leading up to the masts, grinning as he walks over to one, gripping the ropes and pulling himself up. Once he’s high enough, a good twenty feet above deck, Alex makes sure his hold is tight enough before glancing around him.

They’re high above the ground now, the people on Crescentia tiny specks as Alex looks down at them. They’re steadily rising higher and higher, moving above the clouds, and Alex thinks he hears Theodosia shouting for the gravity fields to be turned on, ensuring no one will float away once they get even higher.

When they reach a certain height, Alex feels as if everything goes quiet, feels a sort of calm settle over him, and he gazes around him and breathes in deep. He knows that they’ve just taken off, that his journey has barely begun, but he feels more ready for it than ever. He feels a sense of purpose thrumming through him, a sort of confidence wrapping around him.

He’s really doing this. He’s really going to find Treasure Planet and bring home the treasure. People will talk about this journey, about _him_. And everything is going to be _perfect_.

“Mr. Hamilton!”

The shout of his name startles Alex, and he’s suddenly very glad for his tight grip on the ropes as his foot slips slightly. He looks down, makes out the figure of Theodosia peering up at him, and starts a hasty descent when she gestures for him to come down.

When he reaches the ground, he takes one glance at Theodosia’s stern expression and feels his shoulders slump.

“I don’t want to see you climbing up the masts ever again unless instructed,” she tells him. “Is that understood?”

“Yes, captain.”

“Very good. Now, onto another matter of business.” she glances behind her, gestures at someone else, and next thing Alex knows, Washington is making his way over to them, both hands gripping the arms of Herc and John, both of whom at least have the decency to look slightly abashed as they’re dragged forward. “Do you know these two? They claim to know you.”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Alex says through his shock, makes eye contact with Herc and John, does his best to not roll his eyes when John smirks at him. “They’re friends of mine from home.”

“Well these friends of yours boarded this ship without permission,” Theodosia tells him, her voice growing louder, making several people pause as they pass by, and Alex catches sight of Aaron looking over to watch. “I do not take kindly to stowaways, Mr. Hamilton.”

“It’s not my fault,” Alex grumbles, and he thinks he hears a couple of people who have gathered around them gasp. “It’s not!”

“You admitted that they are your friends, Mr. Hamilton,” Theodosia continues. “They would not be on this ship if it weren’t for you. I’m beginning to think that you’re more trouble than you’re worth.”

“Oh, believe me,” Alex says, his mouth moving too fast for his mind to catch up. “I’m worth it.”

A loud laugh follows Alex’s words, and he glances over at John, expecting to see him covering his mouth, but his friend isn’t even looking at Alex, but is instead glancing over his shoulder. Alex follows his gaze, eyebrows rising in surprise when he sees Aaron attempting to cough into his hand to mask the laughter he let escape, but his expression is still amused when Theodosia glances back at him as well.

“Well,” Theodosia starts, her gaze still on Aaron. “Since you find Mr. Hamilton so funny, Mr. Burr, I will put him under your charge for the duration of the trip. Any more slip-ups will reflect on you.”

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Alex exclaims, frustration and shame welling in his stomach. He meets Aaron’s eyes, at least somewhat satisfied to see the man looking just as upset, if not more.

“Captain, I really don’t think that – “

“I don’t really care _what_ you think, Mr. Burr.” Theodosia turns back to Alex. “And as for you, the only actions I’ve seen today are those of a child, so yes, I believe you are in a need of a babysitter. But if it makes you both feel better, think of the situation as a mentoring one. Mr. Burr knows his way around a ship, and he can teach you a lot. Besides,” her eyes move to John and Herc. “Mr. Burr will be needing help in the kitchen now that we have two more mouths to feed.”

“You won’t throw us in the brig?” Herc asks, and Alex sees Theodosia’s mouth twitch.

“Not unless I’m given a reason. You both seem like adept lads and – “

“I’m not a lad,” Herc interrupts, and then immediately looks flustered that they did, but Theodosia just inclines her head.

“My apologies. But what I was going to say still stands. You both seem adept. As long as you pull your weight and don’t hinder our journey, then there is no reason for me to throw you anywhere. In fact, as a gesture of hospitality, you may both take the cots previously reserved for Mr. Burr and Mr. Hamilton. They will be moved to sleep in the kitchen in order to accommodate two new spaces.”

“ _What?_ ” Aaron says, looking even more upset. “You can’t do that! We – “

“It’s already decided,” Theodosia cuts in. “I won’t hear any more complaints. Now, Mr. Washington, release those two and walk with me to inspect the ship. Everyone else, about your usual business. Good job on a very successful take-off.”

Alex watches as Theodosia and Washington walk away, and then his eyes meet Aaron’s, the man throwing him a deep scowl before turning and skulking off. So much for good first impressions.

“What the hell were you two thinking?” Alex hisses as he steps towards John and Herc. “Why did you sneak on?”

“No way I’m letting you have all the glory,” John tells him, crossing his arms over his chest. “Besides, you need looking after.”

“I came just to make sure he didn’t do something stupid,” Herc says, pointing at John. “He wouldn’t have even made it on here without me. So if you’re mad, be mad at me.”

Alex stares at both of his friends, sighs loudly before shaking his head, a smile starting to slip back onto his face. “I’m not mad. Fuck, if you’d told me you were gonna sneak on I would have helped!”

Herc snorts at that, shakes their own head. “Typical. We wanted to keep you out of trouble for at least a day, so we didn’t want tell you.”

“Who’s that Burr guy?” John asks suddenly. “He’s a cyborg. He could be – “

“Nah, he’s not,” Alex cuts in. “Trust me. It’s not him. Now, come on, let me show you guys around. This place is huge.”

They spend the rest of the day exploring the ship, not really meeting the rest of the crew in the hopes that no one will stop them or ask them what they’re doing. They duck around corners whenever Theodosia or Washington pass them, all of them giddy on adrenaline and excitement. They meet up with Eliza at one point, John and Herc snickering when Alex recounts how she had curtsied when first meeting Theodosia. 

Eventually John convinces them to sneak down into the kitchen to snatch a bottle of whiskey, and Alex feels like they’re being watched as they do, puts it down to paranoia when no one comes out to reprimand them.

They pass the bottle back and forth, getting drunker and drunker until they finally stumble into the room with all the cots, Alex squishing onto one with John beside him as Herc falls onto their own with a thud and a huff, Eliza following suit moments later.

Head spinning and a smile still on his face, Alex falls asleep feeling warm and looking forward to what the next day will bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter was worth the wait!!! And please let me know if anything is confusing. I'm doing my best with the world building but I know there are parts that might make you go like "huh??" lol. So yeah. Basically Washington is super tall and has skin the texture and strength of rocks, and Theodosia is part cat (eyes resembling a cat's and her teeth are pointier than human's, and she has certain cat-like qualities).
> 
> Next chapter, we get more Aaron, as well as more of the crew (including Maria, Jefferson, Madison, and Charles Lee)
> 
> As always, thank you for reading!!! Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation. Leave them here or on my tumblr @fanciful-follies :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thursday! x
> 
> (brief warning for seasickness, or I guess, in this case, sky sickness, which does cause alex to get sick briefly at the end of the chapter)

Alex wakes the next morning with a dry mouth and a pounding head, and based off the groans of his friends as they rouse themselves a few minutes later, they must be feeling the same way.

After a quick breakfast and a few cupfuls of water, Alex’s mind feels more clear, and having received no instructions for the day, ushers his friends above deck for more exploring, an itch making itself known under his skin.

Above deck, the sky is clear but the air is heavy with the promise of rain. Most of the crew is already awake and going about their jobs when Alex and his friends step on deck, and Alex eagerly follows the bustle of activity with his eyes, wishing he could join in but not wanting to make any more mistakes like yesterday. He knows he’s already on thin ice with Theodosia.

“You just need to be respectful,” Eliza tells him when he brings it up as they walk. “I mean, to be fair, you really didn’t make a good first impression.”

Alex glares at her, but then he smirks, leaning in to knock their shoulders together. “Maybe I should try curtseying the next time I see her.”

“Would you stop it with that?” Eliza says, and a faint blush rises on her cheeks. “I was nervous, okay? I had never met a captain before.”

“Right, right. That must be it.” He laughs when Eliza punches him on the arm, and then throws an arm around her shoulders which she begrudgingly allows. 

“Who else did y’all meet yesterday?” John asks. “I mean, besides Washington. God, that guy is huge.”

“Just Bellamy,” Alex answers with a shrug. “He seems nice enough. Although I swear he tried to pickpocket me. Oh, and we met Aaron.” He recalls the scowl he’d received after Aaron learned they’d be rooming together. He hasn’t seen him since. Hopefully he's in a better mood today.

“I don’t like that guy,” John says at the mention of Aaron's name. “He seems sketchy.”

Alex just shrugs again. “I don’t know. He seems fine. I mean, he’s kind of stuck up and boring, has that whole ‘I’m better than you’ attitude. But he seems okay. Or, well, I don’t know. He could also end up being a giant asshole. I wouldn't be surprised. We’ll just have to wait and – “ He cuts off quickly when they round a corner, finding himself face to face with Bellamy, who is staring with raised brows, clearly having overheard him. “I didn’t mean to be disrespectful towards Aaron or – “

But Bellamy laughs, cutting off the rest of Alex’s hurried apology with a wave of his hand. “Don’t sweat it. Aaron has never been good with first impressions. But I wouldn’t let him hear you saying that. He’s not great at making friends, and he’s very sensitive about it.”

Unsure as to whether Bellamy is joking or not, and not knowing what to say either way, Alex gestures to his friends, happy to move on to a new topic. “These are my friends, Herc and John. I don’t think you’ve met them yet.”

“The stowaways!” Bellamy exclaims, looking far more excited than Theodosia had when uttering those words. “Really good to meet you! Honestly, I’m very impressed. Not many people successfully sneak onto a ship. I’ve only done it a few times myself.”

Alex, Eliza, and John share a look at that, but Herc just laughs and hold out a hand for Bellamy to shake, a smile tugging at their lips.

“Hercules Mulligan,” they say. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Oh, likewise.” Bellamy beams at Herc. “You, too, John,” he says, but he keeps his hand in Herc’s for a few seconds more, and doesn’t offer a hand to John once the handshake finally ends. “Now, do you all need an escort today? I’d be happy to give another tour, introduce you to more of the crew!”

“Aren’t you supposed to be navigating?” Alex asks.

“Oh, I’m on break. Madison, our Quartermaster, is managing that for a bit. Now come on!”

Alex and his friends start to follow Bellamy, but then Eliza takes Alex’s hand, stopping him.

“I have to go and meet the Captain,” she murmurs. “Go over more of the map stuff with her. But we should meet up later, okay? You can fill me in on stuff that happens with you guys, and I’ll do the same.”

“Shouldn’t I come, too?” Alex asks, figuring that Theodosia will need him to open the map. He wants to be useful. But Eliza just shakes her head.

“No, we’ll be fine. I’ll see you later!”

Alex watches Eliza run off with a frown, but then he sighs and catches up to his friends, who are watching Bellamy talk rapidly with rather baffled expressions. Although Herc’s expression also holds something akin to admiration.

“ – and that’s Charles Lee,” Bellamy is saying when Alex reaches them.

“Lee?” Alex asks, remembering the name that Aaron had mentioned yesterday, the name of the other cyborg on board. He turns to stare over to where Bellamy is pointing, his fear and excitement at the possibility of Lee being Silver dissipating when he takes in the metal portion of one side of his face, and the distinct lack of a metal arm.

So he can’t be Silver. Maybe the guy won’t even show up. Maybe he was so impressed with Alex's escape from the Inn that he's decided to give up on his mission altogether.

“Ah, if it isn’t the little ship rats we've all been hearing about,” a voice drawls from behind them, and they all turn to see a tall man looming over them, his eyes a deep red, his teeth slightly pointed as he smirks down at them.

“Oh, hey, Thomas.” Bellamy gives a small wave, and then gestures at Alex. “This is Alexander Hamilton, and his friends, Hercules Mulligan and John Laurens. And this is Thomas Jefferson, our gunner.”

Jefferson continues to smirk, and his eyes roam over Alex and his friends with clear distaste in his gaze. “The gunner leads the groups who operate on the artillery,” he says, tone bored but with a certain amount of haughtiness to it. “Since I’m sure you don’t know that.”

Alex bristles at his tone, and narrows his eyes as he observes Jefferson. He already doesn’t like him.

“Staring is rude,” Jefferson says, making Alex glare even harder. “No one likes a rude ship rat.”

“Don’t call him that,” John snaps out before Alex can respond, and Jefferson just laughs.

“Oh, I’ll call him whatever I like. And there’s really nothing you can do about it.”

“What’s your problem?” Alex says, stepping up to Jefferson, who peers down at him and doesn’t back away, which makes nerves prickle at Alex's neck, but he holds his ground. “We didn’t do anything to you, so stop being such a dick and fuck off.”

Jefferson moves so fast that Alex doesn’t even have time to blink before the man has his fingers curled in the fabric of Alex’s shirt, tugging him up so that he’s barely balancing on his tiptoes. “I suggest that you apologize immediately for that outburst, ship rat.”

Alex grimaces when Jefferson’s breath hits his face, but he grits his teeth and stares up at the man without flinching, or at least he hopes he manages that. “I apologize that you’re such a dick. It must be so unfortunate for you.”

Jefferson snarls at him, leans in even closer, eyes flashing. “Why you little – “

All of a sudden, Alex sees Jefferson’s expression shift, and he’s about to ask what has him looking so scared when he feels fingers curl into the fabric of his collar, and then Alex is being yanked backwards, his feet hitting ground with a force that almost makes him cry out.

“I’m really hoping this isn’t what it looks like,” a calm voice says from directly behind Alex. “Is it what it looks like, Mr. Jefferson?”

Jefferson’s lips start to curl, but something makes him stop, eyes darting down. “No, Ca – I mean, no, sir.”

The fingers in Alex’s collar tighten momentarily, but then they’re releasing him, and Alex spins around to meet Aaron’s steady gaze, his face flushing for some reason before he glares at Aaron, causing the man to just smirk and move his eyes to Jefferson.

“I believe you have a job aboard this ship, Mr. Jefferson,” Aaron says. “In fact, I believe you all do, so I highly suggest getting about your work before the Captain is the next one to find you fooling around like school-children.”

There’s a tense beat of silence where no one moves or reacts, but then Jefferson takes a step back and begins to walk away, but Bellamy stays put, a smile on his face as his eyes flick back and forth between Aaron and Alex.

“I can’t believe you almost got into a fight with Jefferson,” he says, and then he’s looking at Aaron, smile growing even wider. “Just like you almost did when you first met him! He just has one of those faces, doesn’t he?”

“Bell,” Aaron says, giving him a firm look.

Bellamy holds up his hands. “I know, I know. Get back to work. See you around, Alex.”

Once Bellamy has disappeared around the corner, Alex meets the gaze of his two friends, a silent communication passing between them as they all start to walk away as well, but, once again, fingers curl into Alex’s shirt collar, holding him back.

“You two can go,” Aaron tells Herc and John.

“You can’t order us around,” Alex snaps out, but Aaron just chuckles, making Alex even angrier.

“Actually, I can.”

Alex tries to wrack his brain for a good comeback, but when he comes up empty, he can only snarl, and he grudgingly nods his head at his friends, who both look apprehensive as they walk away, leaving him and Aaron alone.

Aaron releases his hold on Alex, his expression a mixture of boredom and exasperation when Alex whirls around to face him again.

“I’m beginning to agree with the Captain,” Aaron starts, “in thinking that you are more trouble than your worth.”

“Good thing I don’t care what you think.”

Aaron raises his eyebrows, and he crosses his arms over his chest. “It’s not necessarily about what I think. It’s abundantly clear that anyone who almost gets into a fist fight on their second day of a voyage is more trouble than they’re worth. It's not really up for debate.”

“Whatever,” Alex grumbles, not exactly feeling like being lectured. He already knows he messed up, as usual. At least his mom isn’t here to see it. “Can I go now?”

“No. What was the argument even about?”

“Jefferson’s a jerk.”

“And?” Aaron says, giving a shrug of his shoulders. “You’re going to fight every jerk out there?”

“Maybe I am.” Alex juts his chin out, tries to make himself appear taller. “What’s so bad about that?”

Aaron studies Alex’s face for a few moments, and then he shakes his head. “Besides it being completely idiotic? Nothing at all.”

“I’m not – “

“Don’t try to fight Jefferson again,” Aaron interrupts, uncrossing his arms. “It won’t end in your favor. Your judgement of him is correct, but you wildly underestimate his strength and his lack of care for the consequences.”

Alex swallows, stomach twisting uncomfortably. He shifts on his feet and lowers his chin, unsure of what to say, not wanting to admit to almost making a reckless decision. Then he remembers what Bellamy had said, and he latches onto that as a way to change the tide of the conversation. “So you…you know Jefferson well, then?” he asks, curious to hear the story, but Aaron’s lips form a thin line.

“Go below deck,” he says, ignoring Alex’s question altogether. “There are dishes that need cleaning.”

Alex immediately bristles. “That’s not my job!”

“Isn’t it?” Aaron steps around Alex, glances over his shoulder. “The Captain put you under my charge. So go and clean the dishes. All of them. And until they’re spotless. That should keep you busy the rest of the day so the rest of us can actually go about our jobs without you picking any more fights.”

“Don’t act so high and mighty,” Alex mutters, hands balling into fists at his sides when Aaron stops and looks at him. “Bellamy said you tried to fight Jefferson, too.”

“Those were completely different circumstances. Now get out of my sight.”

Alex watches Aaron walk away without another glance at him, anger and embarrassment swirling inside of his chest. He briefly considers not following Aaron’s instructions and meeting up with his friends again, but then he’d have to deal with more of Aaron’s anger and judgement, and there’s the chance that the guy will actually report him to Theodosia, which Alex would like to avoid at all costs.

So with a good amount of stomping and grumbling, Alex makes his way below deck, his temper only getting worse when he sees the large pile of dirty dishes piled up in the sink. That’s going to take him _hours_.

Alex curses Aaron under his breath as he grabs a sponge, vigorously beginning to scrub at the dishes. It becomes mindless after a while, and Alex finds, much to his frustration, that his thoughts keep drifting to Aaron.

The guy is definitely an asshole at times, there’s no denying it. But there’s something about the way he carries himself that Alex begrudgingly admires. He seems so confident and sure of himself despite being only a few years older than Alex. And people respect him. Even Jefferson. And Alex wants that. He wants people to not look down their noses at him. He wants people to at least give him a chance. It's like they already know that he's going to fuck up before he even does.

He just thought everything would be different once he was on the ship and heading towards Treasure Planet. He thought he’d be treated differently, thought he would feel different. Sometimes he thinks he feels worse than before.

Alex sighs and gives himself a small shake, refocuses his attention on cleaning the dishes. It’s the only job he’s been given so far, so he might as well do it to the best of his abilities.

-

That night, Alex gets dinner with his friends, but he doesn’t eat much, his stomach having decided to act up.

Instead he listens to John and Herc recount their day with Bellamy, saying how they met another crew member, Maria Reynolds, and how they had a good time with the both of them. And Eliza spouts nothing but praise for Theodosia, wondering how someone so young was so accomplished.

When they ask Alex what his day consisted of, he just mutters a quiet ‘nothing,’ and something on his face must warn his friends to not push any further, because no one talks to him much the rest of the meal, leaving Alex in a strange state of wanting attention but not wanting to talk and feeling increasingly annoyed.

When he finally retires for the night, actually going to one of the cots crammed into the kitchen area like he was supposed to do last night, his stomach feels even worse, and his head has started to spin.

It’s only once the ship gives a rather violent lurch that Alex realizes he’s sky sick, the motion of the ship making his stomach churn, nausea hitting him in waves and making him groan.

At some point in the night (time is functioning strangely as Alex clutches at his stomach) Aaron comes in, and Alex quickly stops any more noises from escaping him, not wanting to add embarrassment to the list of things he’s currently feeling. So he bites hard at his lip and folds in on himself in an attempt to find a more comfortable position.

He thinks he hears Aaron’s footsteps pause near his cot, but then the man keeps moving, probably going over to his own cot to have a peaceful night of sleep.

After more time passes, his stomach still twisting painfully at random intervals, Alex breathes out slowly through his nose, pushes his face into his pillow to try and muffle any pained noises, but he feels awful, feels like he’s going to pass out or throw up at any moment.

He pushes himself up into a sitting position, praying that will somehow alleviate the nausea. But if anything, the movements just make it worse, and Alex thumps his head against the wall with a groan, unable to hold the noise back. He squeezes his eyes shut and clutches at his stomach when the ship lurches again, bites down on his tongue to try and distract himself from the way his insides also lurch. It doesn’t work.

Alex startles slightly as the sound of something scraping across the ground fills the room. When he opens his eyes, he sees that Aaron is sitting up now, is shoving a bucket over towards Alex.

“If you’re going to be sick,” Aaron starts, “at least don’t make a mess.” And then he’s lying back down, turning to face the wall without another word.

Alex’s face burns at the clear lack of interest in his well-being, a mixture of nausea and homesickness making his stomach churn again. He hates being sick, hates it more than almost anything, but at least when he’d been sick in the past, his mom had been there to sit with him and comfort him.

The corners of his eyes beginning to burn as well, Alex tries to take in a deep breath, and he reaches out to grab the bucket, bringing it forward until its resting between his legs. And not a moment too soon, because the next thing Alex knows, his stomach twists forcefully, and he hunches over the bucket, throat convulsing as he finally throws up.

Once he’s done, Alex straightens up, breath coming in short, unsteady pants. He doesn’t feel any better. If anything, he feels worse, his head spinning and his skin breaking out into a cold sweat.

“Shit,” Alex whispers to himself, doubling over again when his stomach clenches painfully. He hates this, he hates this so much. He doesn’t want to be sick, especially not here, not in front of Aaron, and not for such a stupid reason as being sky sick.

Is he really such a pathetic person that he can’t even go two full nights without getting sick, even when he’s on the adventure of a lifetime? Maybe he’s just not cut out for this. Maybe he’d been stupid to think he could do this.

Alex lets out a shaky breath, tries to rein his thoughts back in and get himself under control, but then his stomach rolls, and he can’t keep in the gasp that leaves him, and he grips the bucket tightly as he bends over it.

He tries to breathe in slowly, tries to swallow around the tightness in his throat, but it doesn’t work, and instead his throat constricts again, and he empties more of his stomach into the bucket.

Leaning back with a shudder, Alex wipes the back of his hand over his mouth, letting out another shaky exhale as he does. Then he glances up, has to blink a few times to make sure he’s really seeing Aaron standing in front of him with a cup in his hand.

“It’s a family recipe,” Aaron says when Alex continues to just stare. “It will calm your stomach.”

Alex swallows once, and then he moves the bucket away from him, placing it beside his cot before reaching out to take the cup from Aaron.

“Thanks,” he rasps out, bringing the cup up to his lips to take a sip, grimacing slightly when the strange tasting drink hits his tongue. “Interesting.”

Aaron snorts, moves back over to his cot but sits so that he’s facing Alex this time. “It’s not the best, but it works.”

There’s a stretch of silence after that, and Alex busies himself with taking small sips of the drink, the taste of it distracting him from everything else. After a few minutes, his stomach feels a little more steady, and his head a little more clear.

“I don’t even know why I’m feeling like this,” he mutters. “I felt fine the first night.”

“Maybe it was all that whiskey you drank last night.”

Alex blanches at that, whips his head around to stare at Aaron, who is staring back with a raised eyebrow and a small smile.

“You know about that?”

“Of course I do. A whole bottle goes missing and you’re nowhere to be found. It doesn’t take a genius to connect the dots.”

Alex ducks his head, takes another sip from the cup. “So…so you’re not going to rat us out?”

“I don’t really care what idiotic things you choose to do,” Aaron says in response, his tone terse. “Just don’t get caught. Otherwise I will rat you out and act like I never knew about it.”

Alex scowls at that, but when he glances back up, Aaron is giving him an unimpressed look, as if he’s daring Alex to argue with him. And Alex has never been one to back down from a challenge before.

“That’s not exactly chivalrous of you,” he says, and Aaron barks out a laugh.

“Says the one who stole whiskey from the rest of the crew.”

Alex’s cheek heat up at the response, and he scowls again, silently admonishing himself for trying to pick a fight with Aaron while feeling ill, and right after Aaron had just been somewhat kind to him. His mind must not be working fast enough to realize how stupid that had been.

Silence falls between them again, and Alex takes the lull in conversation to observe Aaron, noting that he looks younger in only his breeches and night shirt, making Alex remember that they’re close in age and how he had been thinking about how impressive it was that Aaron has already seemed to accomplish so much.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“I’d really rather you didn’t.”

“How did you first get into all this?” Alex asks anyway, never one to be dissuaded. “I mean, you’re relatively young, but you already have a pretty good position in this crew. And you seem like you know what to do.”

“How nice of you to say.”

Alex rolls his eyes, but he keeps pushing. “Come on. Either we talk or I just keep moaning and groaning and throwing up. And I’ll be really loud so you can’t sleep. So, tell me.”

Aaron actually looks physically pained at his words, and Alex would be more offended that the option of having a conversation with him is clearly not a good one to Aaron if he still wasn’t feeling so sickly.

“Do you promise to stop bothering me if I do tell you?”

Alex bites back his initial inclination to tell Aaron that technically _he_ started this whole thing by giving Alex the drink, and instead nods his head. “I swear. It’ll be straight to sleep after this. As long as it’s a good story.”

Aaron still doesn’t seem particularly excited, but then he sighs, and he leans his head back so that it’s resting against the wall. “It’s really not that interesting,” he starts. “I was around ten or eleven when I first realized that being on a ship, being a part of a crew, was what I wanted to do. I…” He pauses there, eyes flicking to Alex’s momentarily, and Alex nods at him, encouraging him to continue. “I ran away from home, actually. To escape my uncle. I just ran straight to the docks and slipped onto a ship unnoticed…climbed straight up one of the masts so my uncle couldn’t get me once he found me.”

“You’re serious?” Alex asks, unable to keep the smile off his face. It’s hard to picture Aaron, someone who seems so serious, doing something like that.

“I only came down once my uncle agreed he wouldn’t punish me for running away. But in the short amount of time that I was up there, I knew that one day I’d be back on a ship. About two years later I ran away again. And that time I didn’t go back.”

“So you always wanted to be part of a crew? And on a ship?” Alex asks, wanting to know more. “But why? To explore the galaxy?”

Aaron shrugs and looks away. “I suppose.”

“What does that mean?”

“Exactly what it sounds like.”

Alex huffs out a breath. “Fine. Whatever. So, what? You just got a job and never looked back?” There’s no way it had been that easy.

“I started off as a Powder Monkey,” Aaron says, lips quirking up when Alex throws him a confused glance. “It’s a term given to young crew members, usually no older than twelve or thirteen, who would assist the gun crews or perform the more risky jobs aboard a ship, climbing the masts in bad weather, that sort of thing. The pay was basically nothing, and the treatment from the other crew members was usually harsh, but I learned a lot from it, rose in the ranks once I proved my worth.”

“And now you’re the Boatswain,” Alex says, recalling the term that Theodosia had used earlier. “What do you do now?”

“Supervise all activities on the ship, report back to the first mate or the Captain. I’m basically responsible for rigging the cables, managing the sails and the escape boats.”

“And you just…taught yourself all those skills?” Alex asks, more impressed than he wants to be. When Aaron just shrugs, Alex bites at his lip as he thinks, already feeling insignificant in comparison to Aaron. The guy was doing dangerous tasks on a ship at the age of twelve, and here’s Alex, having thrown up twice from doing nothing at the age of nineteen. “But how did you do it? I mean, that’s a lot for a young kid. What made you want to be part of a crew so badly?”

“I just wanted to,” Aaron tells him curtly, and Alex frowns at the vague answer, but lets it slide. It’s not like him and Aaron are friends, the guy doesn’t owe him an answer. But when Aaron remains silent after that, Alex shifts on the cot, wanting to continue their conversation.

“Aren’t you going to ask me why I joined this crew?”

Aaron stares at him, expression blank, and then he sighs. “Why did you join this crew?

Alex almost laughs at how forced the question sounds, but he appreciates Aaron’s effort to engage in conversation with him.

“Well,” Alex starts, “I’m kind of constantly messing everything up or disappointing my mom, and a big part me being here is that I’m kind of hoping this trip will…I don’t know, fix me. I just fuck up a lot, you know? But I’m sure you aren’t surprised to hear that.” He bites his lip once he finishes, awkwardness slipping over him when he realizes how self-pitying his words must sound.

But Aaron just looks at him, studies Alex’s face with no expression. “Why wouldn’t that surprise me to hear?”

Alex squirms, raises the cup to his lips to buy himself more time to think of an answer. He hadn’t been expecting that question, hadn’t thought Aaron would really pay attention to what he was saying.

“Well you…I mean, you said it yourself.”

“I don’t recall telling you that you mess everything up. I barely even know you.”

“You might as well have said so,” Alex says, his voice coming out harsh. “You told me I was more trouble than I’m worth and that – “

“And what? You’re just going to accept that?” Aaron asks, surprising Alex with the question again. “Give yourself more credit.”

“But you said – “

“I know what I said,” Aaron interrupts, and he pauses, eyes on Alex’s. “Prove me wrong.” His lips quirk up when Alex just stares. “You want people to perceive you differently, then prove that you deserve it. If I could do it at twelve, you can certainly manage it.”

Alex frowns at that, doubt crawling over his skin. “Don’t bet on it,” he mutters. “I don’t have a great track record. Definitely not one like yours.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“Yeah, but…” Alex sighs, waves a hand in Aaron’s general direction. “I can tell. You’re all mature and…and sure of yourself and people listen to you. I mean, shit, you told me to do the dishes and I just went and did it.”

“You complained first.”

Alex rolls his eyes. “You’re missing my point. You’re good at all of this. I’m not.”

“And yet you’re still here,” Aaron tells him. “I never said that I was immediately good at all of this. If you think that, then you weren’t listening. I worked hard, discovered my strengths. If you want to succeed, you’ll do the same.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“I literally just said I worked hard,” Aaron says, sounding annoyed. “You just need to find a focus and work towards it.”

Alex considers that. “Well, I guess I have a focus…” He shifts a little on the cot, wonders if he should say what he wants to before deciding to do it anyway. “I’m sort of hoping to gain some fame from this whole thing.” He looks over at Aaron, notes the small eyebrow quirk that is his only reaction to Alex’s words. “I sort of found the map to get to where we’re going. No one else could get it to work.”

Aaron is silent for a moment, and Alex thinks he sees him lean forward a little. “What do you mean?”

Alex shrugs, but he can’t fight back the satisfied smile on his face, glad that he’s finally got Aaron’s attention. “Exactly what I said. No one could get the map to work except me.” He jumps a little at the sudden flash of gold from where Aaron is sitting, blinks a few times and then settles his eyes more fully on Aaron’s face, which is just as impassive as ever, but his left eye is still shimmering a lighter shade than his other one as he stares intently at Alex, jaw clenching and unclenching.

“Well,” he murmurs after a few more seconds. “We all have our talents.” Then he’s pushing himself up, grabbing the bucket from beside Alex’s cot and walking over to the kitchen area, pouring the contents down the sink.

Alex’s shoulders slump a little at the quick end to their conversation. He’d thought it had been going well. Aaron is actually interesting when he wants to be. And he thought that Aaron would be more engrossed in Alex revealing that he’s the only one who can read the map.

As Aaron sits back down, Alex remembers what Theodosia had said about no one else knowing their destination. That’s probably why Aaron seems so disinterested – he doesn’t know that they’re going to Treasure Planet!

“Does it bother you that you don’t even know where we’re going?” Alex asks, and Aaron slowly turns to look at him, a somewhat surprised expression on his face. “What?” he says defensively, wondering if it was rude to have brought up. “Theodosia told me you guys don’t know, and well, I know _I’d_ be upset not knowing.”

Aaron settles down on his back, stares up at the ceiling. “I don’t really care where we’re going,” he murmurs after a beat. “As long as I get paid.”

“Really?” Alex asks, unable to keep the disbelief and slight judgement from his voice. “That’s all you care about? The money?”

“We all have our reasons for being here,” Aaron says, his voice sounding more distant than before. “You stick to yours, and I’ll stick to mine. Now go to sleep.”

“But that can’t be it! Aaron, if you knew where we were going, you’d be so much more excited! You’d – “

“Go to sleep, Alexander.”

The words are harsh, and Alex pouts a little, but Aaron doesn’t look over at him again, so Alex sighs, makes sure the sound is loud and drawn out, and then settles down onto his cot as well, feeling significantly better than he had earlier, but disappointed that Aaron is being all rude again.

As he lies there, Alex’s mind goes back to what Bellamy had said about Aaron not being good at making friends, about him being sensitive of that. Maybe that’s why he’s being so hot and cold, mood changing so fast. But he had been nice to Alex, had even offered him advice, whether he believed Alex could do it or not is beyond the point. He was still nice. Had better advice than any of Alex’s friends have given in a long time.

Alex smiles to himself as he rolls onto the side, a thought forming in his mind and slowly becoming a solid plan that he’s going to put into action starting first thing tomorrow morning.

His new mission is to become friends with Aaron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week, Alex puts his plans to action, and it goes as well as you think it would lol.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation, so leave them here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in this one, y'all. Things have been busy. I graduate in three weeks and I had to defend my thesis! Hopefully I can keep with the schedule now!

When Alex wakes the following morning, he feels surprisingly well rested. Whatever Aaron put in the drink, it really worked; Alex’s stomach has settled, and when he stands, he feels steady on his feet, and ready to face the day.

Aaron is already awake and chopping away at various foods, so Alex quickly freshens himself up and then strides over to Aaron, more than ready to enact his new plan of making Aaron his friend.

“Good morning,” Alex says, and Aaron merely grunts, but Alex continues, unperturbed. “Did you sleep okay? Sometimes I talk in my sleep, so I apologize in advance if I ever do. Or, I guess if I did last night then I also apologize for that as well as the times to come.”

“You didn’t say anything.”

Alex waits to see if Aaron is going to say anything more, but the man just keeps chopping, doesn’t even look up, so Alex takes a deep breath. “I wanted to thank you for last night.”

Aaron lifts one shoulder in a brief shrug. “It was nothing.”

Alex rolls his eyes at the nonchalance of the response. “But that’s what I’m trying to tell you; it _wasn’t_ nothing. It was _something_. A nice something.”

Aaron just raises an eyebrow, and Alex sighs, which finally draws Aaron’s eyes to his.

“I’m trying to compliment you,” Alex says slowly, annoyance starting to creep into his tone despite his best efforts. “For being nice. You could at least say you’re welcome. That’s the usual response when someone thanks you.

Aaron blinks at him once. “You’re welcome,” he says blandly.

Alex throws his hands up in defeat. “Fine. Whatever. I won’t try to thank you for anything again, since it’s clearly so painful for you.”

“I appreciate that.”

Alex actually grits his teeth and glares, but the effect is lost on Aaron, who has already returned his attention to the food in front of him. Still not wanting to give up so readily, Alex remains where he is, rocks back and forth on his heels and waits until Aaron finally throws a look in his direction after a few minutes.

“What?”

“What _what_?” Alex shoots back, and he thinks he sees Aaron’s lips twitch. “Listen, do you want to hang out today?” There’s no point in beating around the bush anymore.

“No.”

“What?”

What _what_?”

Alex opens and closes his mouth, and Aaron gives him a rather smug look before beginning to separate the food into different containers.

“Why not?” Alex finally manages to ask, and Aaron sighs.

“Alexander.” He snaps a lid onto one of the containers. “Listen. Thank you for thanking me for last night, and you’re welcome, okay? But we’re not friends. That was not me trying to be your friend. You were sick. I knew how to help. That’s it. Leave it there.”

“But – “

“Go above deck,” Aaron tells him. “Stay out of trouble. Spend time with your friends. Bellamy likes you. Hang out with him.”

Alex scowls, and he’s preparing himself to argue more with Aaron, but then a thought pops into his mind; if Aaron knows that Bellamy likes him, then that must mean Bellamy and Aaron were talking about him at some point. That makes Alex grin, and Aaron looks confused by the strange shift in his reaction, which just lifts Alex spirits even more.

“Fine,” Alex says, beginning to walk over towards the stairs. “You stay down here and lurk in the dark. And I will go find Bellamy. Maybe he’ll give me even more dish on you than he already has.” He bounds up the stairs before he can see how Aaron reacts to that, and he emerges on deck with a wide smile on his face.

The sun is beating down, the air warm, but there’s an occasional breeze that keeps the heat from becoming overbearing, and Alex’s smile only grows wider as he walks across deck, taking in the other crew members already busy with work. He's gazing up at the billowing sails when he hears someone shout out his name. 

“Alex! Alex, over here!”

He turns to see Herc waving him over, Bellamy beside them, as well as one other person that Alex hasn’t met yet. Once he sits down in the free spot next to Herc, Bellamy gestures to the woman.

“This is Maria Reynolds,” he introduces, and the woman – Maria – nods in Alex’s direction. “She’s great with a blaster, so stay on her good side.”

“Oh, well,” Alex trails off into a laugh, not sure how else to respond to that, but he reaches out a hand for Maria to shake. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Maria tells him. “I hear we have you to thank for this expedition.”

“Thanks aren’t necessary.”

“Oh, please. We’ve been out of work for ages.” Maria gestures between herself and Bellamy. “Really. This is great. And god, the size of this ship. And the food! Luxuries upon luxuries.”

“Aaron _does_ know how to cook, doesn't he?” Bellamy shifts where he sits, moving so that he’s on his back, his head coming to rest in Herc’s lap.

Alex raises his eyebrows at Herc, but Herc just shrugs, a smile on their lips, and they make no move to dislodge Bellamy.

“How long have you all worked together?” Alex asks after a silence stretches between them, and Maria shrugs.

“Oh, six or seven years, give or take. Bellamy has been around a bit longer. I only joined after I escaped from my arranged marriage.”

“That sounds like quite a story,” Herc says, and they glance over at Maria. “If you’re comfortable sharing it.”

“There’s really not much to it. I was pretty poor growing up, scrounged up enough on my own to put myself through school. Then my parents – I still don’t know how – made some connections and arranged this whole marriage.” Maria shrugs. “And I was actually kind of okay with it, at first. Some rich elite wants to marry me? Fine. I even thought that if I went through with it, I could finish school, could enter into some academy. But then I learned my betrothed had no intentions of letting me do any of that. So I left.”

“Left?”

“Heard what was gonna happen, and when the ship taking me to where I was supposed to get married landed, I just ran off. Found Bellamy and Aaron a week or so after.”

“Together ever since,” Bellamy chimes in. “Always running from job to job, from place to place.” He finds Alex's eye and winks, probably noticing how Alex had perked up at his words. It does sound like a good life. Exciting.

“You don’t go home much?” Herc asks, frowning when Bellamy and Maria shake their heads. “I don’t think I’m cut out for that life. I’d get homesick. Even now, not hearing from my parents for a few days, it’s strange.

“My parents are very lovely,” Bellamy says, a deep warmth in his voice. “And it’s true that I don’t get to see them much, but I write to them as often as I can.”

“I haven’t heard from my parents since I left,” Maria says with a snort.

“Really?” Alex asks, unable to keep the surprise from his voice. “Why? I mean, I get you left, but you’re still their daughter.”

Maria just snorts again. “They didn’t think much of me as a son, so I doubt I am any better to them as a daughter.”

Bellamy reaches out an arm, lays his hand on Maria’s leg. “It’s their loss,” he tells her softly, and Maria nods, shrugs her shoulders.

“I know it is. I’m much happier here and now, than I ever was there and then. I know who my family is.”

Bellamy smiles at that, and he sits up so that he can press a kiss to Maria’s cheek before lying back down. “Enough of this sad talk. Hercules, tell us a story. I bet you tell great stories. Tell us of your home.”

Herc grins wide at that, and Alex only has a chance to roll his eyes before there’s a hand on his shoulder, and he glances up to see Eliza standing above him.

“Sorry to interrupt,” she says, glancing around at the others. “But I was hoping to get Alex alone for a bit.”

“Oh, sure.” Alex stands and waves a goodbye to everyone before walking off with Eliza. “What’s up? Everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine. I just felt like we hadn’t gotten to talk much since we’ve been here. What have you been up to?”

Alex laughs at that, and when Eliza throws him a rather startled glance, he just shrugs. “Oh, you know me. Getting in and out of trouble.” He winks. “But I’m good. I’m just kind of getting to know everyone and all that. That Jefferson guy’s a jerk. But I like Aaron.”

Eliza hums. “Aaron seems nice.”

“Well, I don’t know if I’d go _that_ far.” He grins when Eliza laughs. “What about you? How’s working with the Captain on the map and everything?”

Eliza’s eyes light up immediately. “Theodosia is amazing,” Eliza says in a rush, the words practically exploding from her. “Just, how much she knows about the skies and navigation, and how much she’s accomplished, especially being so young! Don’t you think she’s amazing?”

“Probably not as amazing as you do,” Alex admits, laughing when Eliza blushes. “And _Theodosia_ , huh? You two on a first name basis now?”

“I meant Captain Prevost,” Eliza corrects, but there’s a smile on her lips that only grows more pronounced when Alex gives her a loaded look. “Oh, hush. She’s nice. And she’s interested in what I have to say. I don’t get that often.”

“I’m interested in what you have to say.”

Eliza throws him a doubtful glance. “Even if that were true, which it’s not, you also don’t understand half of what I say.”

“Not all of us can be astrophysicists.”

“Theodosia isn’t an astrophysicist,” Eliza points out.

“ _Theodosia_.”

“Captain Prevost,” Eliza corrects again, but there’s a blush rising on her cheeks, and Alex laughs. “Anyway. Are you having a good time? Is this everything you were hoping it would be?”

Alex considers the question, breathes out through his nose as he does and shoves his hands into his pockets. “I don’t know,” he says slowly. “I mean…I’m glad I’m here, I still want to be here, but it’s just…different than I thought it would be, I guess? I feel restless. And you know me. When I’m restless, I do stupid shit.”

“What do you mean?”

Alex gives Eliza a side-long glance. “Well, I may or may not have almost told Aaron where we’re going.”

“Alex…”

“And I may or may not have sort of alluded that I’m the only person on board who can read the map.”

“Alex!” Eliza stops in her tracks, and when Alex turns to look at her, her eyes are wide. “You _what_?”

“I just – “

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Eliza tells him in a hushed tone. “Theodosia was being serious when she said that we need to be careful. Not everyone here can be trusted with that information.”

“Well maybe I’d take this all more seriously if I was actually in on everything,” Alex hisses back, and he pauses to take a deep breath, not wanting to yell at Eliza. “I feel out of the loop. I feel like Theodosia doesn’t trust me.”

Eliza frowns at him, and she loops her arm through Alex’s and tugs him forward. “Theodosia is just trying to be cautious. But I can talk to her if you want, see if she’ll – “

“Don’t,” Alex cuts in, not wanting Eliza to have to beg on his behalf. “Maybe I’ll just try talking to her myself about it. Although I’ll leave the part out about telling Aaron about the map. No need for Theodosia to be even more frustrated with me.” He sighs, the sound long and drawn out. “I don’t know. I’m just bored. I feel like nothing ever happens and – “ He cuts off when they round the corner, eyes going wide as he takes in the sight in front of them.

John and Lee are a tangle of limbs, fists flying and shouts ringing through the air as they continue to fight fight. Alex watches in shock for a few more seconds before jumping in on instinct when Lee lands a rather hard punch to John’s side.

He grabs at the back of Lee’s shirt, drags him off of John, the movement making him unsteady on his feet and preventing him from being able to react fast enough when Lee spins around and lands a punch directly to Alex’s cheek.

Cursing loudly and stumbling back, Alex puts a hand to his face, wincing at the pain that flares up and down his cheek and jaw.

“Bastard!” John snarls, and then he’s launching himself at Lee, knocking the man down and getting the upper hand for a few seconds before Lee kicks him in the stomach, causing Alex to wince in sympathy.

He’s about to rejoin the fight when there’s the sound of a whistle being blown, and Alex turns to see Washington, trailed by Aaron, making their way over, both of them looking grim.

Washington grabs John by the back of his shirt, hauls him off of Lee and then grabs Lee next, keeping a tight grip on both of them. “Someone,” he starts, “needs to start explaining what’s going on here.”

“He started it,” Lee spits. “I was just minding my own business when he – “

“He’s lying,” a voice cuts in, and they all turn to see Bellamy standing at the opposite side of the ship, Herc beside him. “Lee was taunting him. John was minding his own business. Then Lee tried to trip him, and John reacted accordingly.”

Lee glares at Bellamy, but Washington nods.

“Well, then.” Washington releases John, and places his other hand on Lee. “This sort of behavior results in a night in the brig, Mr. Lee. You will stay there until morning. Mr. Laurens, Mr. Hamilton, I suggest you clean yourselves up and keep yourselves scarce or busy the rest of the day. Everyone about their business.”

They all watch as Washington drags Lee away, and then Alex steps towards John, who is holding a hand to his ribs, scowling.

“Are you hurt?” Alex asks, and John just shrugs. “Come on, John. Let me see.”

John lifts the hem of his shirt, and Alex winces when he sees the bruising along his side, some of the skin broken and bleeding.

“It’s not that bad,” John tells him. “Nothing’s broken. I just need to clean up and maybe ice it.” He reaches out and trails his fingers over Alex’s cheek. “You should ice that, too.”

“I’m fine.”

“Doctor’s orders,” John murmurs, hand still cupping Alex’s face. “Why did you intervene?”

“You looked like you were getting your ass kicked,” Alex says, and they both laugh. “What the hell was the fight about anyway? Just Lee being an ass?”

“Pretty much,” John says with a grimace. “Probably should have taken into account that he’s a cyborg with a metal face and leg before deciding to fight him, though.”

“That would have been the smart thing to do,” Alex agrees, and he laughs again when John just shrugs. “Go clean yourself up,” he tells him, and then he takes a step back, and John’s arm falls to his side. “Come get me when you’re done. You know I hate the sight of blood.”

“Wimp,” John tells him, but he starts to walk away, Herc and Eliza hurrying over to help when he wobbles a little on his feet.

When Alex turns around, suddenly just him and Aaron are left, and Aaron is already glaring at him, and Alex sighs. His plan really isn’t going well. And it hasn't even been a day.

“Do we have any ice?” he asks, figuring that’s as good a place to start as any. And his face is really starting to hurt.

“Yes.”

“Can you show me where?”

“No.”

Alex frowns at that. “What do you mean no?”

“I mean no.” Aaron crosses his arms over his chest. “I think you should spend a little time dealing with the consequences of your actions.”

“ _My_ actions? You heard Bellamy, it was Lee’s fault, he – “

“So you had to attack him?” Aaron asks before Alex can finish, and he uncrosses his arms and takes a step towards him. “What good did that do, Alexander?”

“Well, he’s in the brig, isn’t he? I'd say that's a good thing.”

“And you’re left with what will probably become a black eye, and are now on Washington’s list of people he needs to keep an eye on.” Aaron shakes his head, scowls at Alex and breathes out loudly through his nose. “Why do you keep doing this?”

“Shut up,” Alex mutters, the back of his neck prickling. “This wasn’t my fault! I just dragged Lee off of my friend so he didn’t get the shit kicked out of him, okay? I didn’t start the fight.”

“Then why get involved? Didn’t your parents ever teach you to pick your battles?”

“Don’t put this on my mom,” Alex says, his voice louder than he meant it to be, and even Aaron seems a little startled, but Alex keeps going, anger and embarrassment building inside him too fast for him to temper it. “This is not her fault! It’s not her job to knock common sense into me, okay? Fuck, it’s not even her job to watch out for me anymore, I’m an adult. It was her job to raise me, and she did that alone, okay? She did that without my dad, cause he couldn’t be bothered to stick around long enough to teach me anything!”

A ringing silence follows his outburst, and Alex can feel the familiar pang of embarrassment hitting him, mixing with the soreness of his face, but he keeps his eyes on Aaron, doesn’t back down.

After a few more seconds, Aaron’s expression changes. Alex doesn’t want to call it soft, but it’s less judgmental, something almost close to sympathy flitting across it before leaving just as quickly.

“I’m…” Aaron trails off, closes his mouth and appears to swallow a few times, his eyes never leaving Alex’s face. “I shouldn’t have assumed anything.

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have,” Alex mutters, figuring that’s as close to an apology as he’s going to get. “Not everyone gets to have parents that raise them to have all of these impeccable morals and decision making skills.” He glares at Aaron as he says this, but Aaron just blinks back at him.

“You really never listen, do you?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re assuming I did have that privilege?” Aaron asks, and he lets out a humorless laugh. “Think, Alexander. It can’t be that hard for you. What have I told you about my life? It has been very little, so this should be easy.”

Alex searches his mind, thinks back to last night, since that must be to what Aaron is referring. “That you always wanted to be part of a crew? Cause of that one time you ran away from your uncle and – oh.” Alex grimaces, shifts on his feet.

“Yes, my uncle.” Aaron’s jaw clenches, and he finally does look away from Alex, his hands forming fists at his sides. “My uncle raised me. And he did not do it well. I won’t attribute anything that I’ve learned to him.”

Alex dips his down in acknowledgement. “Right. Sorry. So…” He trails off, lifts his head back up and then clears his throat. “So, you’re parents are d – “           

“They’re gone,” Aaron snaps, his eye flashing, and then he breathes in slowly, chest rising. “Since I was two,” he says on the exhale. “And that’s really all you need to know.”

It’s a clear dismissal, a clear sign to move on to a new topic, and Alex does his best, feeling suitably chastised. “I’m sorry,” he says. “For assuming. And for…for yelling.”

Aaron studies him for a long moment, the anger dissipating from his expression, and he sighs. “But not for fighting Lee?”

“Nope.”

Aaron huffs out a small laugh at that, and when his eyes land on Alex again, there’s some amusement in his gaze. “Well, at least you stick to your actions, however misguided they may be.”

“Follow through is important,” Alex answers sagely, and Aaron just shakes his head before moving over to the side of the ship, resting his arms up against the edge as he leans over it slightly.

Alex hesitates a moment before following and mirroring his position, glad that Aaron doesn’t automatically tell him to leave. “Can I ask you a question?”

Aaron groans, and when Alex glances over to him, it’s to see the man with his head resting on top of his hands. When he turns to meet Alex’s questioning glance, he just gives a bemused expression in response. “I’ve learned that nothing good ever comes after those words.”

Alex frowns. “It’s almost worrisome how well you already seem to know me.”

Aaron laughs at that, and he pushes himself back up, considers Alex for a few moments and then waves a hand in the air. “Go on, ask. You’ll just do it anyway.”

“What did your parents do?”

Aaron opens his mouth, but nothing comes out, as if he hadn’t been expecting that question. “They were sailors,” he finally says. “Good ones, too. Served under the royal navy.”

“So you’re following in their footsteps?”

A smile twists at Aaron’s lips. “I suppose I am, in a way.”

Alex nods and then drums his fingers on the side of the ship, moves his gaze out to the endless sky in front of them. He can’t imagine losing his mom, let alone both parents, especially at such a young age. He has enough trouble as it is trying to make his mom proud, and he’s had almost twenty years to practice.

“They’d be proud of you,” Alex says, still staring out ahead of them. “Your parents. I’d bet they’d be proud of you.”

When only silence meets his words, Alex glances back over at Aaron, and his face instantly heats up at the way intent Aaron is staring at him, his gaze heavy, and his brows furrowed slightly and his lips pursed, an almost irritated expression showing on his face before he puts his guard back up, every line of his body tense.

Alex waits, but Aaron still says nothing. “Sorry,” Alex says hastily, not sure where he went wrong with the words. “I didn’t meant to…I just meant that – “

“Don’t,” Aaron cuts in, turning away from him to gaze over the edge of the ship. “Just drop it.”

Alex stares at Aaron, frustrated that Aaron took the compliment so poorly. Is everything he says really that awful? Clenching his fists at his sides, Alex opens his mouth to say something more, determined to get his point across, and then –

“Alex!”

He turns to see John striding towards him with a grin, clearly having tended to whatever wounds he got from fighting Lee.

“We’re all getting Lunch,” he says once he reaches Alex. “To celebrate my victory.”

Aaron snorts beside them, and John’s expression immediately goes sour, but Alex reaches out for his friend, wraps his fingers around his wrist. “Sure, let’s go,” he says, not wanting to witness John get into another fight. And if it’s with Aaron, Alex is certain that John will lose. And Alex isn't so sure that he would intervene in that fight.

So he quickly drags John away, can see from the frown on his lips that John is seconds away from complaining. But there's a part of him that wishes John had waited a few minutes to come over, so that Alex would have had more time to talk to Aaron, to figure out why what he said had such a negative impact on Aaron. He hadn't mean to be rude. He meant it as a nice thing. He had wanted them to bond over losing parents, albeit in different ways.

“That guy’s an ass,” John says, and he looks over his shoulder, probably to glare at Aaron. “You shouldn’t hang around him so much.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion,” Alex mutters. “And Aaron isn’t that bad.” He glances over his shoulder as well, pauses slightly when he sees that Bellamy has now joined Aaron by the side of the ship, and the two of them are murmuring to each other, heads bent close, and Alex’s brow furrows when Jefferson joins them seconds later.

“If he hangs out with Jefferson,” John starts as they resume walking, “I can’t imagine him being anything but bad.”

“You don’t even know him,” Alex snaps out, and John throws him a surprised look. “He’s been through enough and doesn’t need your judgement, okay?”

“Alex, I was just – “

“Forget it. Let’s just meet up with the others and eat.” He strides ahead of John, doesn't look back to see if his friend is following, his thoughts still too stuck on Aaron to put any conscious effort into being considerate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will have lots of aaron/alex moments, so get ready for that!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated, and comments fuel my motivation! Leave them here or on my tumble @ fanciful-follies!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another update!

Over the next couple of days, Alex finds himself tasked with various jobs on the ship, barely having any time to himself in between. He knows that Washington must have reported to Theodosia, that he must have told her Alex was still getting into trouble, because he can’t think of any other reason for Theodosia to have called him into her office the day after the incident with Lee.

“Just work, Mr. Hamilton,” she had said. “Keep yourself busy, build trust with the other crew members. If they like you, they won’t attempt to punch you.”

It’s simple advice, and it should be simple to follow, but Alex still feels a prickle of annoyance under his skin as he carries out errands for other crew members, like getting food for Jefferson, relaying messages from one end of the ship to another, and cleaning up after meals.

It’s reward less work, but Alex _does_ go three whole days without getting into any other incidents, which, he supposes, is a reward in itself, especially since his cheek is still sporting a rather impressive bruise from Lee’s fist.

But Alex still scowls on that third night when Aaron drops another pile of dirty dishes in front of him, right when Alex was almost done with the first pile.

“Great,” Alex mutters. “Thanks so much. Can’t wait to do these, too. It’s not like I was hoping to eat or sleep tonight or anything.”

Aaron gives him a long look, and Alex has to stop himself from sticking out his tongue at the man, knowing how childish it would come across. But he really wants to, just to see how Aaron would react.

But then Aaron walks to the other side of the room, busies himself with something that Alex pays no attention to, too focused on getting the dishes done so that he can finally be done and maybe spend some time with his friends before he passes out from exhaustion.

He jerks back in surprise when a plate is suddenly shoved under his nose, a sandwich sitting in the middle of it. He glances up at Aaron, who is staring back at him.

“Take a break.”

“But I’m not done.”

“You were just complaining about being hungry,” Aaron counters. “So eat. You’re making fast work of the dishes, anyway.”

Alex is tempted to say no, to rebuff Aaron like he’s been rebuffing Alex, but the sandwich looks good, and Alex’s empty stomach pushes him to reach out and accept the plate.

“Thanks, I guess,” he says as he takes a bite, and then his surprise grows as Aaron leaves and returns moments later with his own plate of food, dragging a stool over to sit in front of Alex. “Oh. Are you eating with me?”

“Yes.”

“But…why?”

Aaron rolls his eyes at the questions. “Don’t ask stupid questions.”

Alex bristles. “How is it a stupid question? You’ve made it clear that you don’t like me. Why would you willingly eat a meal with me?”

Aaron sighs, and he lowers his sandwich and stares at Alex for a long couple of seconds. Then he shifts on his seat. “I may have been a little rash in my treatment of you.”

“A little?”

“And Bellamy informed me that we might have just gotten off on the wrong foot,” Aaron continues, ignoring Alex’s comment. “So, here we are.”

Alex chews as he considers Aaron’s words. Obviously he isn’t going to send the man away, but he doesn’t want to appear too eager at the prospect of them starting over. “Well, thank goodness for Bellamy, then. How long have you known him?”

“I met him on my second voyage.”

“So…?”

“About nine years,” Aaron says, and Alex does the mental math in his head, figuring that Aaron is around twenty-three then, if he ran away at age thirteen. “He’s hard to get rid of.”

Alex snorts. “You’re telling that to a guy whose two friends literally snuck onto a ship. I know all about clingy friends.”

Aaron cracks a small smile. “And yet they leave you to dish duty all alone.”

“It’s not that bad. I mean, it’s what I did back home all the time anyway. Or, I did it whenever I wasn’t getting into trouble.” Alex shrugs and lets out a short laugh. “I couldn’t cook for shit, so it was always the dishes.”

“Have you always lived at the Inn?”

Alex nods. “My whole life.” He takes another bite of his sandwich, swallows slowly as he remembers how the flames had climbed higher and higher over the Inn as they drove away that night. “It’s weird to think that it’s completely burned down now. That’s a big reason why I’m doing this. Gotta find a way to get a new home, you know?” _Especially since it’s all my fault in the first place_ , Alex adds in his head.

Aaron hums, and his gaze is searching as he continues to stare at Alex. “Well, I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

“I’m glad someone thinks so.”

Aaron sighs at that, his expression flicking towards annoyed. “You shouldn’t sell yourself so short.”

“It’s true,” Alex mutters, and he grips his plate tightly. “People think I’m a fuck up, okay? Don’t act like you don’t think the same. I know, I know, I should prove people wrong and all that. Well I’ve been trying, and I’m still coming up short, so.” He shrugs again, the movement stiff. “Let’s talk about something else. I don’t want to hog all the attention.”

Aaron gives him a knowing look, but he doesn’t comment on the poorly veiled deflection. “Well, what do you want to talk about?”

“I can pick anything?”

“Anything within reason.”

“Your parents?”

Aaron’s hands clench, and his jaw goes tight. “Do you want to talk about your father?” he asks, tone light but somehow still slightly scathing.

“…Point taken.”

Aaron snorts, some of the tension leaving him. “Why don’t you tell me about your mom?”

Alex perks up immediately. “My mom is great. Like, talk about a stellar human being. Even before my dad left, she was always the one keeping us together. She’s just that kind of person, you know? Strong.” Alex’s hand goes to the locket around his neck, and he squeezes it. “That’s the main reason I’m here. I figured it’s far past my time to be the one to contribute. I mean…with our home and source of income gone, this is kind of my one chance to fix everything. I don’t know what I’ll do if this doesn’t pan out, if I come home empty handed.”

Aaron’s expression twists a little at Alex’s words, his lips twitching into a slight frown, and when Alex throws him a confused glance, Aaron just looks down at his food.

“It seems as though you have a good group of friends, who would take care of you” Aaron says slowly, directing his words down at his sandwich. “I’m sure there are other options if this doesn’t turn out the way you want it to.”

“The way I _need_ it to,” Alex corrects, and Aaron’s eyes flick back to his. “I need this. And I’m going to get it. I’m not fucking this up.”

Aaron’s expression smoothes over, and he smiles at Alex, but there’s something not quite genuine about it, as if he doesn’t believe that Alex can do it. “Well, I guess time will tell all.”

Alex narrows his eyes at Aaron, which just causes Aaron to roll _his_ eyes, his smile widening just a little as he shakes his head at Alex.

“Eat your food, Alexander,” Aaron tells him softly, and Alex, not wanting to get into an argument over what could be nothing, does just that.

-

The next few days pass in a blur, and Alex is just as busy as ever, but spending more and more of his free time in Aaron’s company, sometimes getting every meal with him. Most of the time Alex is doing the majority of the talking, but Aaron actually seems to want to listen, which Alex considers to be an improvement.

“Can’t you ask Theodosia to lay off on all of the jobs she keeps sending my way?” Alex asks Eliza one afternoon as she walks with him across deck, and her eyes widen at the question.

“I don’t have that kind of pull!”

Alex snorts. “Oh, please. You definitely have pull.” He laughs when Eliza blushes, and he knocks their shoulders together. “Oh, calm down. So Theodosia likes you, that’s not anything to be embarrassed about.”

“She doesn’t like me,” Eliza argues, and then she sighs. “Or, I mean, she likes me, but not…she doesn’t _like_ me.”

Alex just holds up his hands in surrender, laughing again when Eliza’s blush deepens. “No judgement, no judgment,” he tells her softly, still laughing, and he goes quiet when she raises her eyebrows.

“What, do you have a little crush of your own?” she prompts, grinning when Alex scowls. “On a certain cyborg, perhaps?”

Alex hushes her, glances around to make sure that no one heard them, which just makes Eliza laugh. “Don’t say that so loud!”

“You’re not exactly subtle. John’s been moping for days about it.”

Alex glances back over at her, and he bites at his lower lip. “He has?”

“Are you surprised?”

Alex shrugs a shoulder. “I guess not.” He shoves his hands into his pockets, a tiny bit of guilt settling into his chest. “I…what do you think I should – “

“I’m not getting into that,” Eliza breaks in, her hands coming up in a defensive gesture. “That kind of drama is not something I enjoy.” She sighs when Alex gives her a small pout. “Just…talk to John. Sooner, rather than later, okay?”

“Yeah, all right.”

Eliza departs a little bit after that, and Alex is left to wander the ship alone. He knows that he could go find Herc, who has been spending almost all of their time hanging out with Maria and Bellamy, but he already feels low on energy, and would much rather just sneak in a quick nap before having to do the dishes after dinner.

Maybe he should go find John instead, maybe he should –

“Ouch!” Alex exclaims, face mashing into something hard. He brings up a hand to touch his cheek gingerly, and then he focuses on the person in front of him. “Oh, John.”

“Hey to you, too,” John says, his tone even but laced with something that makes Alex frown. “You’re obviously in a rush. Don’t let me keep you.”

“Wait.” Alex reaches out and catches at John’s sleeve, waits until John is looking at him again to continue. “Want to hang out? I have more dishes to clean, but maybe we can talk first? Or talk and do the dishes at the same time? I know that doesn’t sound fun but – “

“Why don’t you just ask Aaron?” John snaps out before Alex can even finish, and he yanks his arm out of Alex’s grasp.

“John, come on, don’t be like that, don’t – “

“I’ll be like however I want to be like,” John grumbles. “And you’re being stupid, hanging out with that guy all the time. I don’t trust him, Alex, I don’t – “

“You don’t know him, you don’t – “

“And you think you do? After knowing him for a _week_?”

Alex’s face flushes, and he curls his hands into fists at his side. “I know him better than you. He talks to me. He – “

John’s snort interrupts the rest of his words. “Oh, please. Don’t kid yourself. What, you actually think he likes you? That he cares about you? He doesn’t.” John’s jaw clenches, and then he’s stepping closer. “But I do! I just want you to be careful, I want you to – “

“You don’t get to do that,” Alex snarls at him, poking a finger at John’s chest. “You don’t get to be a jerk and then tell me that you care about me! Fuck off, John. God.”

“Fine. I will fuck off. You don’t need to tell me twice.”

Alex watches, his hands still clenched at his sides, as John stalks off, not even looking back at him once. What the fuck just happened?

After a few more seconds, Alex spins on his heel and continues on his way, stomping down the stairs until the kitchen is in sight, piles and piles of dirty dishes stacked on top of each other, presenting itself as a precariously leaning tower.

And Alex sits himself down with a huff, grabs at the first place and scrubs at it with a sponge so hard that it actually hurts his fingers.

Who does John think he is, passing judgement? Alex isn’t a child. He doesn’t need someone looking out for him. He knows how to take care of himself. John is the one who has always had people looking out for him, who has always had an easy out whenever he got into trouble because of his dad and his status and his money.

“Fuck him,” Alex mutters under his breath, face growing warm when he remembers John’s words about Aaron. “ _Fuck him_.”

Is it really that hard to believe that Aaron likes him? Alex isn’t about to assume that Aaron likes him, but he at least seems to enjoy Alex’s company somewhat. And for John to try and say that Aaron is just messing with him isn’t fair. Other people besides John are capable of liking him. Alex can be likable.

Scowling, Alex throws himself fully into washing the dishes, scrubbing at the surface of each bowl and plate until they are spotless. He doesn’t know how long he works at it, but by the time he’s about half way done, his arms are aching, and his eyes are drooping more and more every time he blinks.

He’s not actually aware of falling asleep, but some time later, there’s a hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently.

“Alexander.”

He ignores the voice, grumbles a complaint under his breath instead.

“Alexander,” the voice says again, amusement in its tone. “You’re cuddling the dishes. Get up.”

“’m comfy,” Alex mumbles, and he keeps his eyes shut, has no intentions of getting up. He wants to sleep forever. “Stop talking to me.”

There’s a laugh, and then footsteps, and then the feeling of hands smoothing down Alex’s side, making him jump. But then arms are wrapping around him, pulling him up, carrying him.

“Whaddya doin,” Alex slurs, and he blinks his eyes open, his vision focusing and allowing him to stare up at Aaron. “Are you carrying me? To bed? That’s so nice. You’re so nice.”

Aaron stares down at him as best he can with the awkward angle. “Have you been drinking again?”

“No. I’m just tired. And you’re just nice. You’re like a…like a potato.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re kind rough on the outside, and like…weird and bumpy. But then the inside is all mushy and…and soft. And that’s like you.”

“You should stop talking,” Aaron tells him, and for some reason that just makes Alex laugh.

Next thing he knows, he’s being lowered down onto his cot, and Alex immediately rolls over to face the wall, hugging his blanket to his chest as sleep overtakes him.

-

When Alex wakes up the following morning, the first thing he notices is that the rest of the dishes have been washed and dried, lying in neat piles along the counter. And when Alex scrambles up to his feet, he sees Aaron standing off to the side, wiping his hands on a towel.

“Did you do that?” Alex asks, and Aaron turns to look at him, eyebrows rising.

“Who else would have?”

“You didn’t have to.”

Aaron just shrugs, and he drops the towel on the counter. “It’s not a big deal. Besides, you deserve a day off.”

Alex grins at that, struck by the kindness of the gesture. “Thanks.” He walks closer to Aaron, grin growing wider. “See, I was right. You’re a total potato.”

Aaron actually makes a small noise in the back of his throat at that, and his expression grows the closest to embarrassed that Alex has ever seen it. “Alexander - “

“Don’t try and deny it.”

“I didn’t think you’d remember saying that.”

“I told you, I was tired, not drunk.” He laughs when Aaron looks doubtful. “I remember what I said. And it’s true. You are nice. I don’t get why that’s so weird for you to hear. I mean, the potato part, sure. But the nice part…I just…I think you’re nice.” Alex shrugs, and Aaron stares at him for a beat, and then he’s shaking his head and looking away.

“Well, I appreciate the sentiment. You should go above deck, enjoy the day.”

“Are you gonna join me?”

Aaron seems to waver. “Not right now,” he says. “Later, maybe.”

Not wanting to push his luck, Alex just nods, and then he’s bounding up the stairs, not allowing himself to overanalyze the sudden spring in his step.

The sun is still low in the sky when Alex emerges above deck, and he knows that the rest of his friends probably aren’t awake, so he amuses himself by walking the length of the ship by himself, replaying Aaron’s expression in his mind over and over again. He’s so distracted by it, that he doesn’t notice the person in front of him until it’s too late.

“Ship rat,” Jefferson says with his lip curled.

“Jefferson,” Alex says back, and he tries to step around the man, but Jefferson just gets in his way again. “What do you want?”

“I think the real question is what do you want?”

Alex blinks at that, and Jefferson laughs, the sound verging on cruel.

“Don’t act coy. The way you trail after Aaron like a lovesick puppy, it’s obvious to everyone.”

“Shut up,” Alex snaps. “You’re wrong. And it’s none of your business, so.” He tries to side step Jefferson again, but this time he grabs at Alex’s arm and holds him in place. “Let go of me.”

“Believe it or not, I’m trying to give you some friendly advice.” Jefferson’s smirk contradicts his words, but Alex doesn’t try to get free. Not yet. “Aaron is just playing with you. And it would benefit you in the long run to remember that.”

“Shut up,” Alex says again, and he tries to wrench his arm free, but Jefferson is too strong. “Don’t act like you’re trying to help me, or that you know Aaron so well. I saw how scared you looked when he stopped us fighting the first day. You’re terrified of him. You’re just – “

“I’m not terrified of him,” Jefferson spits out, and his other hand tangles in Alex’s shirt, and then he’s lifting Alex up and slamming him against one of the masts. “You think you’re so smart, that you know everything. You don’t know anything.”

Alex’s hands scrambled at Jefferson’s, trying to pry them off of his shirt, but Jefferson doesn’t budge. “Let me go. Let - ”

“Thomas.”

They both jump at the shout of Jefferson’s name, and Alex’s pulse rate jumps for several reasons when he sees Aaron making his way over to them, an angry blaze in his eyes.

“What are you doing?” Aaron hisses once he reaches them. “Put him down. Or I’ll see to it myself that you get sent to the brig.”

Jefferson just laughs. “Oh really? Will you?”

Aaron says nothing to that, just stares at Jefferson, and Alex can do nothing but watch the two of them have some sort of silent conversation that he isn’t privy to. After several long seconds, Jefferson scowls and he lowers Alex back to the ground.

“Get out of my sight,” Aaron tells Jefferson. “We’ll talk about this later.”

“I’m sure we will,” Jefferson bites back, and that makes Aaron’s lips form a thin line. “Don’t act so high and mighty, _Mr. Burr_.” He stresses his name. “You only care about the ship rat because he told you – “

“Enough,” Aaron says, and his voice is cold, the one word ringing out over the ship, and Jefferson’s jaw clenches, but he remains silent. “I told you to get out of my sight. I suggest you do just that.”

Jefferson nods, and then his eyes stray over to Alex, and his lips curl up into a smirk once more before he’s turning around and stalking away.

Alex swallows slowly once it’s just him and Aaron, too nervous to look at him. Instead he takes one step forward, then another, and when Aaron says nothing, Alex thinks that he might just be able to get away from this without getting a lecture. He speeds up his steps, and –

“I hope you don’t think that you get to just walk away from this.”

Alex winces, and he glances over at Aaron, who is frowning at him. “Would you believe me if I said this wasn’t my fault? Cause it wasn’t. I tried to walk away but – “

“But you didn’t,” Aaron finishes for him, which really isn’t fair. “And you baited him. And you went against my specific instructions to stay away from Jefferson.”

“I don’t answer to you,” Alex says, and Aaron’s frown deepens.

“Technically, you do.” He observes Alex for a few seconds, and then shakes his head. “Clearly you can’t handle having free time to yourself. I should have known that. Stay here. I’ll get the mop.”

Alex huffs out an angry breath as Aaron leaves, coming back moments later with a mop and bucket in his hands, which he thrusts out towards Alex, a silent gesture to get to work.

“You don’t need to stay,” Alex grumbles out, tightening his grip on the mop as Aaron brushes past him. “I can handle mopping the deck without supervision.” He scowls when all Aaron does is make his way to the side of the ship, leaning against it with an eyebrow quirked as he fixes Alex with a firm look. “I’m not a child.”

“Could have fooled me,” Aaron counters back smoothly, smirking when Alex’s scowl deepens. “Nothing you’ve done so far has proven that you can be left alone without getting into trouble.” He leans further against the side of the ship, his arms spread and hands gripping the edge. “The sooner you mop, the sooner we can both go about our days, so stop acting like a _child_ ,” Aaron emphasizes the word, “and do your job.”

Alex stares at Aaron a beat longer, his jaw tight and clenched, but Aaron’s face remains impassive, like he couldn’t care less about Alex’s anger, so Alex shoves the mop into the bucket of water and starts to vigorously clean the deck.

At least he didn't ask Alex what the fight was about. He doesn't know how he'd even begin to explain that. 

He manages to stay focused for a couple minutes, but then his neck prickles, and Alex can’t stop his eyes from going back to Aaron, who seems to be watching him with interest for some reason, as if mopping was some great form of entertainment. Alex thought it would annoy him, Aaron being there and not helping, just watching, but it produces another feeling that is unexpected. Alex feels his stomach tighten as Aaron’s gaze flicks up from where his eyes had been locked on Alex’s hands back to his face, the look in his eyes unreadable.

“Keep going,” Aaron murmurs, and Alex jumps at the command, not realizing that he’d stopped in the first place.

He tears his eyes away from Aaron’s and tries to focus on the task. But the heat of the morning air isn’t helping the heat building in his lower stomach. The air is humid and thick, and before too long Alex can feel his clothing sticking to his skin, and his hair is damp with sweat.

When he peers over at Aaron again, the man still watching intently, and a gust of warm wind blows, shifting Aaron’s shirt and revealing a portion of his chest, the skin glistening with a light sheen of sweat. God. It's almost unfair for someone to look as good as Aaron does.

Alex feels his throat grow dry, and his face flushes as he realizes how much this is all affecting him, his pants starting to grow tight. He moves his eyes to Aaron’s face and his stomach flips when he sees Aaron’s eye glowing gold as his gaze roams slowly over Alex, his face still unreadable as ever. But then Alex thinks he sees Aaron’s hands clench where they are gripping the edge.

The movement draws Alex’s eyes to the silver of Aaron’s right hand, and he is suddenly overwhelmed by a curiosity of what Aaron’s metal hand would feel like on his skin.

Alex jerks as that thought runs through him, blushing furiously when he catches Aaron staring at him with his head tilted to the side. Alex can only watch, frozen to the spot, as both of Aaron’s eyes move lower, down his neck and chest and then stopping, his lips twitching at the sight of what Alex knows is his obvious arousal.

Time seems to stop for a moment, Alex watching Aaron take in the sight of him. Alex can feel his heart pounding in his ears, and everything feels absurdly warm, like he’s going to self-combust from just being under Aaron’s gaze. But then, just as quickly as it started, Aaron looks away, his eyes latching onto some part of the ship off to the side of Alex, and shame and embarrassment replaces the heat in Alex’s stomach at the clear rejection.

He almost trips over himself in his haste to grab the bucket off of the deck, needing to escape as quickly as possible. He’ll just mop some area of the deck that is far, far away from Aaron and then maybe fling himself overboard. That sounds like a good plan, because there’s no way he can ever face Aaron again.

Alex scurries to another part of the ship, not looking behind him, and frantically starts to mop the new section of the deck, hoping that maybe he’ll just scrub a hole into the deck that he can jump down and hide for the rest of eternity.

He’s not stupid enough to try and deny his own attraction to Aaron, but he’s also not stupid enough to think that Aaron feels the same way. John and Jefferson have made it very clear that there's no way that Aaron could like him. Hell, they’ve barely just become friends, and even then, Alex has still managed to piss him off, unable to keep his temper when confronted with Jefferson. But really, who could? Jefferson is an ass. And yet Alex is still overwhelmed with a sense of frustration over the fact that he keeps disappointing Aaron.

Because Aaron is attractive and put together and sure of himself and everything that Alex admires in other people and can never seem to attain in his own life. Sure, the guy is a little socially inept, but Alex contributes most of that to the fact that Aaron just doesn’t know how to talk to Alex yet. He seems fine talking with Bellamy and other people. And now Alex is worried that he has screwed things up already and Aaron won't want to talk to him anymore. Maybe he is more trouble than he's worth.

Wrapped up in his own thoughts, Alex manages to mop almost half of the ship without really noticing before he hears someone calling his name, each repetition getting louder and louder until he finally looks up to see Aaron standing right in front of him.

The sudden closeness startles Alex, and he trips over the mop first, then his own feet, and he has a brief moment to imagine what the deck of the ship is going to feel like slamming against his face when strong hands grab at his biceps, catching him.

Alex’s hands instinctively fly out to steady himself, the mop clattering to the ground as his hands land on Aaron’s waist. There’s a brief few seconds where he doesn’t really register what’s happening, but once he catches his breath and blinks his eyes, he realizes just how close he is to Aaron, and becomes increasingly aware of how Aaron’s hands are still on his arms, gripping tight.

Alex slowly raises his head, swallowing as his eyes trail up Aaron’s chest until their eyes are meeting, Aaron’s gaze heavy as he stares down at him, their faces close.

“I…” Alex’s voice is hoarse, and he clears his throat once, swallows again. “Thanks.”

Aaron just continues to stare down at him wordlessly, and Alex thinks he feels Aaron’s hands tighten slightly, and his breath catches as a result, heat flaring across his cheeks as he thinks _maybe_...

Alex’s tongue darts out over his lip, and when he spots Aaron’s eyes tracking the movement, he leans in slightly, rocks up on the toes of his feet, and he breathes out slowly when Aaron’s eyes meet his again, the man making no move to step away. Alex leans in a little closer, tilts his face up...

But then the moment is broken, and Aaron releases him as if burned, taking two quick steps away from Alex, almost causing him to fall all over again.

“I just wanted to tell you that you could stop,” Aaron tells him, and he’s half-turned away from Alex, one hand clenched at his side. “You can leave.”

“I…” Alex has to stop speaking again, his stomach fluttering slightly before dropping when Aaron turns even further away. “Aaron, I’m – “

“I said you’re done,” Aaron snaps out. “For once in your life just do what you're told and _leave_.”

Alex doesn't know why the words coming from Aaron sting so much, but his throat constricts slightly, and he blinks his eyes rapidly before turning and hurrying away, hoping that Aaron didn't see the beginnings of tears threatening to spill. He's embarrassed himself enough for one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Alex, such a whirlwind of emotions!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated, and comments fuel my motivation! Leave em here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thursday! x

After that night, things go back to how they were when Alex first got on the ship; Aaron avoids him, and Alex flits between spending time with his friends and trying not to think about how useless he feels on board.

On this particular day, almost four days after Aaron and Alex fought, Eliza is holed up with Theodosia in the office and John is nowhere in sight, so Alex ambles around above deck until he hears the familiar sound of Bellamy talking accompanied by Herc’s laughter.

So Alex follows the noise, happy to have found someone to hang out with. But when he rounds the corner, he pauses and stares at the scene that greets him.

Bellamy has an arm slung around Herc’s shoulder, and Herc is leaning against him, laughing and smiling and staring at Bellamy’s other hand, which is stretched out in front of him, palm facing upwards, a butterfly hovering above it.

Feeling as if he’s intruding, Alex takes a step back, but then pauses again when the butterfly shifts in color from blue to purple, and then to having silver polka-dots, Bellamy’s fingers wiggling slightly beneath it, his expression full of concentration.

“You’re a Morph,” Alex blurts out loudly, and both Bellamy and Herc jump, and Alex watches as his suspicion is confirmed, the butterfly faltering in the air and then shifting into a fork, which clatters loudly to the ground.

Bellamy snatches the fork back up immediately, and his face flushes. “D-don’t say it so loud,” he stutters, and Herc throws Alex an annoyed look.

Alex holds up his hands in surrender, but takes a step closer. “It’s not like it’s a bad thing,” he tells Bellamy, who just presses his lips together and remains silent, his cheeks still pink.

Morphs are pretty rare, and have the ability to transform the appearances of objects at will. Some can even change their own appearances, as well as other people’s if, if they’re strong enough. But it takes a lot of energy. Or so Alex has heard.

“I’m not that good,” Bellamy tells him, twisting the fork between his fingers. “I can only really do it with small things. But…but people tend to not trust Morphs.” Bellamy’s face flushes even more when Alex raises his eyebrows, both of them probably remembering the attempted pick-pocketing incident. “So just…”

“I won’t mention it to anyone,” Alex says with a shrug. “Although…I mean, well, you might want to hide it a bit better if you don’t want people noticing. You are out in the open.”

Herc looks a little bashful at that, and they share a quick look with Bellamy before turning their gaze to Alex. “It’s my fault, I asked to see.”

“Don’t apologize!” Bellamy tells them. “I wanted to show you!”

They stare at each other wordlessly after that, and Alex, having to try very hard to not roll his eyes at the clear attempt at flirting, clears his throat and waves at both Bellamy and Herc when they turn to look at him again.

“I’ll leave you two to it, then.” He has no desire to stick around and be the third wheel to the two of them.

Alex starts to walk away, but is unable to keep himself from smiling when he glances back over his shoulder just in time to see Bellamy turn the fork into a flower, which he hands to Herc with a wide grin.

As Alex wanders aimlessly, he can’t keep his thoughts from turning towards Aaron. They’ve barely even looked at each other since the _incident_ , and Alex doesn’t really know where he went wrong. He doesn’t think he was reading things incorrectly, there was definitely tension, and he could have sworn that Aaron looked like he wanted to kiss him, but he can’t bee one hundred percent sure.

Of course he had to mess things up right when he was finally making progress with Aaron. That’s just how his life seems to go.

And now he doesn’t even have John to hang out. Alex knows that if he gives it enough time, that John will just pretend like the fight never happened, that he’ll show up and throw an arm around Alex’s shoulders and everything will go back to normal. But sometimes Alex wishes that him and John could actually _talk_ to each other, work things out. But they never do. They just forget and move on. And Alex kind of hates that.

Alex rounds the corner as he continues to think, and then he makes a rather high-pitched noise when he almost runs straight into someone. A particular someone, Alex realizes seconds later, that has been avidly avoiding him for days.

“Alexander.”

“Aaron.”

They stare at each other, and Aaron’s lips twitch slightly, forming a small frown, and Alex just rocks back on his feet and waits, not willing to be the one to break the animosity between them.

“How have you been?” Aaron asks bluntly, and it’s such a poor attempt at conversation that Alex can’t help but laugh.

“Fantastic,” he says with just a hint of resentment behind the words. “Being avoided makes me so happy.”

Aaron’s frown deepens, as if he's the one who should be upset. “I wasn’t avoiding you.”

“Then what were you doing?”

Aaron says nothing to that, and Alex makes a gesture that clearly conveys ‘my point exactly’ and Aaron’s jaw tightens.

“I just…you have other friends. You should spend time with them.”

“Why does everyone have an opinion on who I should be spending my time with?” Alex asks, not really expecting an answer. “I _do_ spend time with my friends, although I’m not really sure why that’s any of your business. I saw Herc and Bellamy this morning.”

“They’ve been spending a lot of time together lately,” Aaron says, sounding almost put out by that fact, and now Alex is the one to frown.

“And? They should hang out together. They like each other. That’s what people do when they like someone. So don’t you go telling Bellamy to avoid Herc, or I will punch you in the face.”

Aaron raises an eyebrow, but he doesn’t comment on Alex’s rather lame threat, and they descend into silence again, and Alex slowly begins to feel himself glaring at Aaron, who just stares stoically back at him, and that causes Alex to finally snap.

“I don’t even get why you’re angry at me,” Alex starts. “Like, sorry if I made things awkward but I didn’t actually do anything to deserve you acting like such a jerk. So…so I’m not going to apologize. Cause you don’t have the right to be angry. _I_ should be angry.”

“I’m not angry,” Aaron tells him, sounding exasperated, and he narrows his eyes when Alex snorts. “I’m _not_. Not…not with you.”

Alex gives him a disbelieving look. “Prove it.”

Aaron just blinks at him, as if he hadn’t been expecting that. “Prove it how?”

Alex bites at his lip and considers the question, because, honestly, he hadn't thought Aaron would actually take him up on that. “I don’t know,” he eventually says slowly, and he looks at Aaron closely before shrugging his shoulders. “I’ll leave that up to you, I guess.”

“Are you free now?”

Alex laughs, because _of course_ Aaron would already have an idea. “Depends on what you have planned.”

Aaron sighs, but he’s smiling now, which must be a good sign, and he gestures for Alex to follow him. They walk in silence and head below deck, and then Aaron is leading them into a room that makes Alex raise his eyebrows in surprise.

“Escape boats?” Alex asks as he takes in the sight of several large boats hanging low from the ceiling. “How is this going to prove that you aren’t mad at me?”

Aaron just looks at him for a few seconds, and then steps over to a lever near one of the walls. He pulls it and then watches in amusement as Alex makes a small noise of surprise as a section of the floor below the escape boats opens wide, revealing the open sky.

“I thought we could go for a ride,” Aaron says, stepping back over to Alex. "Is that enough to prove to you I'm not mad?"

“Seriously? Are we even allowed to?”

“I thought you didn’t care about rules.”

“I thought _you_ did.”

Aaron grins at that, expression turning almost mischievous. “You don’t know me as well as you think you do,” he tells him, and then he looks away from Alex and towards the boats. “Besides, I won’t tell anyone if you don’t. And we’ll be quick. Just a short joy ride.”

Alex finds himself grinning from ear to ear, extremely flattered that Aaron is actually willing to break some rules with him. “I can’t believe you’re actually doing this. Okay, I’m in.”

They walk over to one of the boats in tandem, Aaron smirking when Alex has to ask for a slight boost so that he can get in. But then Aaron is powering up the boat, the sail flipping open as currents of power run through it, and Alex forgets all of his embarrassment as excitement overtakes him instead.

“The ropes can be tricky to untie,” Aaron says from one end of the boat as he starts to untie one himself. “The knots are tough, but I can show you how to – “ he cuts off mid sentence when he turns to look at Alex, who is already holding one of the ropes in his hands.

Alex basks in Aaron’s surprise for a few seconds before shrugging and moving to the next rope. “My dad taught me how, when I was a kid. I got a little obsessed with learning how to handle myself on a boat, cause he was always so fond of being on them. Too fond, as I found out.”

Aaron doesn’t say anything to that, which Alex is grateful for, not really wanting to get into it. They get the rest of the ropes untied in silence, and then Aaron is gesturing for Alex to take the wheel, which makes Alex laugh.

“You really trust me with this?”

Aaron shrugs. “I’m curious to see how you handle it.”

“Well,” Alex says, stepping over at grabbing at the wheel, testing out the feel of it. “Prepare to be amazed.”

He slowly lowers the boat until their below the ship, and then he shoots Aaron a wide grin before pushing the boat to full speed, and he lets out a joyous whoop as the wind whips through his hair, just barely catching Aaron’s startled yelp over the noise of the wind rushing past him.

As he steers, Alex is suddenly overwhelmed by how much he had missed this, steering himself through the sky. It’s different from being on his glider, a little less freeing, but it’s still amazing, and Alex’s cheeks hurt from how hard he’s smiling as he continues to guide the boat through the sky and through clouds.

When he finally manages to peer over at Aaron after a couple of minutes, the man is gripping the edge of the boat with both hands, staring at Alex with a surprised expression mingled with something else, something that Alex doesn’t have the time to decipher as he moves his gaze back to the space of sky in front of him.

There are more clouds ahead of them, and Alex flies them right through them, pulling hard on the wheel so that the ship turns sharply, turning slightly on its side and causing Alex to have to hold on tight and ground himself. Once he’s righted them again, he peers over at Aaron, who is still staring at him, expression mostly amused.

“Sorry,” Alex shouts. “I should have warned you I was going to do that!”

“You’re just lucky I’ve got great balance.”

Alex laughs. “Don’t worry, I would have caught you if you fell.”

“I have no doubt.”

Alex blushes at that, and he turns around again so that Aaron won’t see. He keeps flying, easing them through the sky with practiced motions. It’s nice, so nice that Alex wishes that they could just keep going and not look back. He feels so much more useful doing this than he does stuck on the ship.

But after some more time passes, Alex loops back and he flies them towards the ship, not wanting to press their luck at not being noticed. He would prefer to not get in trouble over this.

He eases the boat up and back inside, and then he puts it in park and leans over the edge to grab at one of the ropes, quickly tying it to one end before moving to the other and doing the same.

“Where the hell did you learn to fly like that?” Aaron asks over a laugh, securing the second rope on his side before slumping down to sit with his back against one side of the boat.

Alex shrugs, feeling exceptionally pleased with himself as he mirrors Aaron’s movements and sits beside him, arms crossing behind his neck.

“I have many talents.”

Aaron rolls his eyes, but he’s still smiling. “Come on.”

“I taught myself,” Alex says, laughing when Aaron looks skeptical. “What? I did! Learned the basics on my solar glider, and then I took John’s boat out every now and then, and that was it. I’m just a natural. Is that really so hard to believe? You’re the one who climbed up a mast on a ship and then magically decided he want to traverse the skies.”

Aaron shrugs his shoulders at that, smile slipping just a bit. He looks away from Alex, staring ahead of them. “Well, a bit more went into it than that, but I suppose you have a point.”

Alex watches as Aaron bends forward, rolling the hem of his pants up until it’s past his knee, and then Aaron is touching one of the screws of his metal leg, twisting it slightly and wincing.

“Is…” Alex trails off before he can really even start, and Aaron peers over at him, eyebrows raised. “Can I…can I ask how it happened?” He nods his head at Aaron’s leg and arm. He’s always been curious, just never felt comfortable asking until this moment.

Aaron looks away again, both hands clutching at where the skin of his knee meets the metal surface of the rest of his leg. Then he shrugs. “It just…happened. You give up a few things, chasing a dream.”

“But it’s worth it?”

Aaron’s mouth quirks up, and then he looks over at Alex, his eyes on his face but not really focused. “I certainly hope it is,” he murmurs, his voice sounding far away.

Alex watches Aaron for a few more seconds before turning away himself, his own eyes staring off into the distance, also taking in the sight of something not there.

“I hope mine is worth it, too,” he says, smiling at the thought of finding the treasure. “I know it will be. This’ll change everything, I can feel it. I’ll go home, and everyone will look at me different. My mom won’t be so worried all the time, and I won’t disappoint her anymore. And everyone else there, everyone who was just waiting for me to screw up my whole life, they’ll eat their words.”

Alex feels his smile grow wider, and he leans further back against the boat, stretching his legs out a little more in front of him. Then he glances over at Aaron, who is giving him an almost sympathetic look, which makes Alex’s smile falter.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Alex shifts, sits up straighter and crosses his legs, turning to face Aaron. “No. Tell me.”

Aaron sighs. “It’s just…sometimes it’s not good to put all of your hopes in one basket.”

“Meaning?”

“I just don’t want you to be disappointed, Alexander.”                                        

“Oh,” Alex says softly, keeping his tone light but feeling his stomach plummet. “You don’t think I can do it?”

Aaron gives him a long, measured look, eyes flicking over his face before turning away to stare down at his hands. “I think that if anyone could pull this off, it would be you.”

Alex blinks a few times, almost surprised at the confident way in which Aaron says those words. The guy doesn’t even know what _this_ is, and yet he still thinks that Alex can do it. He can't remember the last time someone had that much blind faith in him.

“Thanks,” Alex murmurs, and he can’t stop a grin from spreading across his face again.

Aaron peers back over at him and snorts. “Don’t go getting a big head. You’re just stubborn, that’s all.”

“Don’t try and cover up the compliment, Aaron. Don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret.”

“My secret?”

“That you believe in me,” Alex teases, still smiling. Then his face flushes when Aaron regards him with a heavy look, not saying anything. He’d meant it as a joke, but the way Aaron is looking at him is making Alex think that Aaron might have taken his words differently. “You believe in me,” Alex states in disbelief, mind working overtime to try and process this new information.

“So what if I do?” Aaron says with a slight shrug, his words soft, and he looks away from Alex, gazes out at the horizon instead. “There are worse things to believe in.”

Alex swallows, his throat dry. “But you...you barely even know me."

"I'm good at reading people."

"But I keep fucking things up."

Aaron shakes his head. "Just because you break rules and you get into trouble, that doesn't necessarily mean you're fucking up. Like I said, you should give yourself more credit. You're...you're more perceptive than you know."

Alex feels his face grow warm, and he stares at Aaron in disbelief. "Sometimes I can't believe you're like...actually real. No one from back home who would agree with you.”

Aaron’s lips quirk into a small smile. “Well, I guess they’ll be the only surprised ones when you prove me right.”

Alex’s breath catches at the words, and he opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out, and his face grows warm when Aaron’s eyes flick down to his lips as if he can’t stop the movement. The guy _has_ to know what he's doing to Alex, how he's going to interpret this...

Alex leans in slightly, barely even noticing that he’s doing it until Aaron’s face is suddenly very close, his breath ghosting over Alex’s cheek, his eyes back on Alex’s, watching him warily.

“I…” Alex trails off, licks over his lip, words failing him again. This is stupid. This is so stupid. He shouldn’t be doing this, he shouldn’t…

But Aaron is still watching him, and his head tilts to the side a fraction of an inch, and it seems as if he shifts even closer. At the small movement, Alex throws all caution to the winds and closes the remaining distance between them.

Aaron makes the smallest of sounds when their lips connect, and Alex feels the warmth in his face start to spread out to the rest of his body. He doesn’t try to part his lips, doesn’t even add much pressure to the kiss, he just keeps his mouth pressed gently to Aaron’s, marveling at how soft Aaron’s lips feel beneath his own.

Aaron’s hand comes up to rest against Alex’s jaw, and Alex thinks that he’s going to push him away and prepares himself for the rejection, but Aaron just runs his thumb over his skin, deepening the kiss instead of breaking it, making Alex hum softly against his mouth.

Testing the waters even more, Alex slowly parts his lips, heart hammering in his chest when Aaron mirrors the movement seconds later, their lips now moving against each other with more purpose, the kiss warm and wet and making Alex shudder slightly.

When Aaron’s tongue glides over Alex’s lower lip, Alex gasps at the contact, a hand reaching out to rest against Aaron’s chest, wanting to feel more of him. But it’s that movement that causes Aaron to jerk away, ending the kiss.

Alex opens his eyes to see Aaron already staring at him, chest heaving, and his tight expression causes Alex’s stomach to drop immediately.

“I’m sorry,” he stammers out. “I…I wasn’t, that is, I – “

“Don’t apologize,” Aaron interrupts, his voice strained, but it doesn't sound angry. “I shouldn’t have – “

“I wanted you to,” Alex breathes out, confusion hitting him when Aaron’s expression turns pained at his admission. “What – “

“Nothing,” Aaron tells him, and then he’s pushing himself up and away from Alex, causing Alex to scramble up as well, but Aaron steps back, puts more distance between them, even holds out a hand as if he’s going to push Alex away.

“I’m sorry,” Alex says again, more urgently this time, as worry bites at him when Aaron just shakes his head and looks away. “Please don’t get all mad at me again, I –“ Alex cuts off when Aaron laughs, the sound sharp between them.

Aaron runs a hand over his face, keeps his palm over his eyes. “I’m not mad at you,” he says, each word coming out slowly, as if it takes tremendous effort to say them. He drops his hands a few seconds later, eyes darting over Alex’s face before leaving just as quickly. “We should get back to work. We’ve wasted enough time.”

And Alex watches wordlessly as Aaron climbs out of the boat, landing on the floor of the ship with a small thud. Then he’s walking out of the room, not even glancing back and leaving Alex standing there alone, more confused than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that y'all.
> 
> Next update is gonna get crazzyyyy.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation! Leave em here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is a little late! But I've been v busy since the last update, but I am now a college graduate!!!
> 
> Enjoy! x

When Alex wakes and sees that the room is still dark, it takes him a few disorienting moments to realize what has pulled him from his sleep. But then he hears the sound of whistles being blown, of footsteps above deck, and of shouts that hold too much panic to be the usual shouts of daily orders that Alex has grown used to.

He sits up, blinks a few times and tries to wake himself up faster, to figure out what is happening.

The shouts continue, and then there’s movement from the other side of the room, and Alex turns and makes out Aaron’s outline across the room where he is pushing himself up on his cot.

He must have come in sometime during the night without Alex hearing him, which was probably purposeful. They haven’t seen each other since the kiss, since Aaron just walked out without explanation. Alex feels annoyance creep under his skin, but when Aaron stands up quickly, he pushes that feeling away, figuring it’s a conversation for another time.

“Wha’s happenin?” Alex mumbles instead, rubbing at his eyes and standing as well, swaying a little on his feet from fatigue.

“I’m not sure.”

“Should we go check?”

Aaron doesn’t respond immediately, but his eyes are on the ceiling, his brow creased as his eye glows golden. “I’ll go check. You stay here.”

Alex just snorts. “I don’t think so.” He clenches his jaw when Aaron meets his eyes, wanting to make it clear that he’s not backing down on this. Besides, he’s tired of Aaron just getting to walk away while Alex is left behind without any information.

And Aaron must know what’s going through Alex’s mind, because his expression tightens slightly, and then he breathes out slowly through his nose.

“Fine. But don’t – “

“Pirates!” The shout comes from the deck, the low rumble of it signaling that it’s Washington. “We’re being boarded. To arms, everyone! Hurry!”

Alex’s heartbeat stutters and then speeds up in his chest, and he watches Aaron’s expression go through what must be at least five different changes before settling on cold determination.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” he hisses to Alex. “And stay close.” Then he’s grabbing Alex by the wrist and leading him up the stairs.

It’s complete chaos above deck, people running around with frantic looks, and it takes Alex a few seconds to even notice the large ship that has come to rest beside theirs, the skull and crossbones flag attached to its mast waving ominously.

“What do we do?” Alex asks, turning to look at Aaron.

“There is nothing we can do,” another voice answers, and Alex turns to see Theodosia, accompanied by Washington, striding over to them. “We were alerted too late,” she continues, hand at her sword, eyes darting around the ship. “And we are woefully unprepared.”

“Who was on watch?” Aaron asks, peering around as well, his eyes narrowed.

“Mr. Jefferson, I believe.”

Aaron’s lips twitch into a small frown, but Alex ignores that for now and looks back at Theodosia.

“Okay, but my question still stands; what do we do?”

Theodosia stares down at him, her shoulders rising and falling. “We negotiate. We keep everyone alive, at any cost.”

Any cost. Does that mean Theodosia would give up their mission? Would give up the map? “But - “

“At _any_ cost, Mr. Hamilton.”

Alex grits his teeth, but he nods, and Theodosia nods back at him before turning to Washington.

“Tell everyone to follow whatever orders are given, and to not do anything rash. We will get out of this by playing our cards carefully. If things seem to start to go downhill, tell everyone to turn to me, and follow my lead.”

“Captain,” Aaron interjects, taking a step forward. “If I may…pirates don’t play by the rules. They have cards up their sleeves. Things _will_ go downhill.”

Theodosia regards Aaron for a few moments. “Then, as I said, when they go downhill, turn to me, and follow my lead.”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Well, then, let’s get this started.”

Minutes later, the pirate crew has finished boarding them, and the crew has herded them all into the middle of the ship, packed tightly together. At first nothing happens, and Alex thinks that maybe this won’t be so bad, but then there are heavy footsteps, and a man is stepping to the front of the crew, a grin on his face as his eyes trail over them, and Alex feels Aaron shift next to him.

“Ah,” the man starts, “so this is the grand crew of the RLS Legacy.” His grin grows wider. “How disappointing.”

Theodosia takes a step forward, and all eyes go to her as she clears her throat.

“State your name and your purpose here.”

“Of course. How rude of me. I am Captain John Adams.” The man makes a sweeping bow. “And my purpose is to take your ship and throw you all overboard. Is that sufficient introduction?” He raises a hand when Theodosia attempts to respond, and one member of his crew steps over to Theodosia and puts a gun to her head.

Washington makes a noise in the back of his throat, and Alex thinks he hears Eliza gasp, but Adams just laughs and pulls out his own gun, cocking it.

“Now, now. This will go much more smoothly if everyone just stays calm. I’m not set on making your deaths painful. And before you all start bartering and begging, my crew is quite practiced in ransacking, so no, we do not need any of you alive in order to find what we’re looking for. Mercy will not be given. But do not worry, we will spread news of your deaths quickly, and at least it will be known that you all had the privilege of being killed by Captain John Adams and his crew.”

Alex, unable to help it, rolls his eyes at the ridiculousness of the declaration, but Adams still isn’t finished, and he continues to speak as he starts to pace in front of them.

“Let me lay out what will happen, so that there are no surprises. Your grand captain over here will be the last to die. I will begin with the first mate, and then pick at random who is to follow him over the side of this ship. You will not be pushed. You will have the choice of jumping or being shot where you stand, and then thrown over.”

Alex glances over at Aaron, who keeps shifting, but the man isn’t staring at him, isn’t even staring at Adams, but is instead glancing over at Bellamy, who has his eyes locked on Aaron as well, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.

“I’m sure you will all be grateful for the choice of how you die,” Adams continues, pausing his pacing so that he is facing them all. “So you are welcome. In fact, I will even eulogize all of you, if you’d like. Give you all a pretty speech about how you wasted your lives and met your demise at my hands.”

Alex rolls his eyes again, and he can’t help but open his mouth. “Well if your first speech is anything to go by,” Alex starts, his tone scathing, “then I’d say we’ve all got about a week or so before you actually get to doing anything.”

There’s a long beat of silence after his words, and Alex catches John’s eye from the across the way, his friend looking exasperated, which makes Alex smirk.

But then he clenches his jaw when Adams slowly turns to stare at him, his eyebrows already raised high on his forehead as if he’s never had someone speak out against him before, which Alex highly doubts, and he’s in the process of opening his mouth to say so when the captain reaches out and hauls Alex forward by the collar of his shirt.

“Interesting,” Adams says, a grin still twisting his lips, and he leans closer. “You will regret that outburst,” he hisses, breath too warm on Alex’s face, and his other hand wraps around Alex’s elbow, fingers digging painfully into his skin, causing Alex to cry out against his will. “This one will not die. This one we’ll take with us.”

“What?” Alex twists in his grasp, but Adams only allows him to turn around before grabbing for his other arm, effectively pinning Alex against him. “Let me go!”

Adams only laughs, and Alex looks out at all of the others assembled in front of him, eyes searching frantically until they land on Aaron, who is staring back, eyes wide. But then Aaron’s expression is shifting, turning determined, his jaw tight, and he blinks at Alex once before looking away from him, and Alex follows his gaze to see him staring at Bellamy again.

“We’ll bring this one aboard,” Adams continues, his voice ringing out loudly, and Alex turns to look at him again, only catching a brief glimpse of Aaron’s eye starting to glow golden. “The rest we throw overboard. The rest we – “ Adams cuts off there, and Alex winces when his fingers dig even deeper into his arms. “It can’t be,” Adams says, tone full of confusion, and, for some reason, fear. Alex knows this is his only chance to do something, to cause some kind of distraction. “How are you h – “

Alex jams his elbow as hard as he can into Adams’ stomach, adrenaline spiking when the man releases Alex with a grunt of surprised pain.

Once he’s free, Alex lunges to the side, certain that he feels fingers grabbing at the back of his shirt, but then there’s a gunshot ringing through the air, the noise vibrating for a long, tense moment, and then there are shouts echoing everywhere, the sounds of footsteps crashing against the deck, and Alex is knocked to the ground, hissing in pain when his knees collide hard with the ground.

There are long, heart pounding seconds where Alex is stuck on the ground, curling in on himself as people rush around him, gunshots still blasting into the air, the clang of swords breaking through the bangs on occasion.

Alex tries to get up, tries to do something, anything, but there is too much happening, and his chest is so tight with fear that he feels like he can’t breathe. He knows he needs to move, needs to at least get out of the way, but he can’t. He can’t, he can’t, he –

“Alexander!”

There are hands grabbing at him, but they’re more gentle than Adams’s hands. They grab at his biceps and haul him upwards, and Alex gasps at the movement, head spinning, and he reaches his own hands out to clutch at whoever is in front of him.

“Alexander,” they say again, and when Alex finally blinks away the confusion, he sees Aaron staring down at him, eyes wide. He smoothes his hands down Alex’s chest, and then starts patting at his legs, and Alex wants to laugh at the sensation until he realizes that Aaron is checking him for wounds.

“I’m okay,” Alex tells him, his voice cracking a little. “I’m fine, I’m fine!”

Aaron looks at him, a cut on his forehead dripping blood over his eyebrow, but he nods and shoves a gun towards Alex. “Then get up.”

Alex takes the gun and stands, his legs wobbly, but Aaron keeps a hand wrapped around Alex’s arm until he’s steady.

It seems like as soon as Aaron lets go of his arm that he gets swept up in the rush of people around them, and Alex is alone, stumbling across the deck as the fighting rages on around him.

He sees Theodosia in the fray, her face drawn up in concentration and anger as she slashes her sword out in front of her, effectively striking down one of the pirates. Then she’s spinning the other way, raising a gun in her other hand and firing.

Alex doesn’t bother to see if she hits her target, certain that she did. Instead he makes his way over to where he spots Maria and Bellamy fighting side by side, Bellamy’s expression a mixture of anger and exhilaration.

Alex starts to stumbles towards them, feeling as if he needs to be near other people if he has any hopes of holding his own. He just prays that all of his friends are doing the same, or at least taking cover somewhere.

But before he can reach Maria and Bellamy, there are fingers curling tightly around his bicep, and Alex only gets a brief moment to look down and take in the bloody hand before he feels fingers scrambling at the back of his neck, and then there’s a sharp pain followed by an immense amount of pressure, cutting of Alex’s air flow.

The gun clatters to ground as Alex’s hands fly to his neck, fingers fumbling around the chain to his locket, which is now pressed tight to his neck, choking him.

“Did you think you’d get away with this?” a voice hisses in his ear, and Alex struggles harder when he realizes that it’s Adams, but the man just laughs, his breath warm against the side of Alex’s face. “You got lucky, distracting me and getting away. That won’t be happening a second time.”

The cold metal of the chain digs deeper into his skin, and Alex tries to inhale, tries to get oxygen to his lungs, but his breath just sputters, and his vision starts to swim, and Alex feels panic start to course through him, mixing uncomfortably with the adrenaline already in his veins.

He blinks his eyes rapidly, tries to focus, tries to stay present. He can’t get his fingers underneath the chain, the metal pressed too tightly to his throat, but then he feels the actual locket against his neck, and he grabs at it, wraps his fingers around it and pulls as hard as he can, praying that this works.

It hurts, it hurts like hell, but Alex feels the link that connects the locket to the chain start to strain, and he tugs again, and then the locket is in his hand, and the chain is no longer around his neck, and Alex stumbles forward, hands flying to his throat as he coughs and retches, each breath rattling and painful.

Fingers wrap around his bicep again, but Alex flails hard this time, feels his elbow connect with something and then hears a loud curse as the fingers release him, followed by a thud.

But Alex only makes it a few feet before something is grabbing at his feet, causing him to trip and fall onto the deck again, and he sees his fun lying on the floor of the ship a few feet in front of him.

Before he can even think about getting to it, the fingers around his ankle tighten, and Alex twists to see Adams clinging to him, his eyes full of anger.

“You!” he spits out, his hold strong on Alex’s leg despite his attempts to shake him off. “You are going to regret what you’ve done, boy. I’ll make sure of that.”

“Fuck off,” Alex yells back at him, his voice coming out hoarse, each breath still a little too painful. He turns around again and reaching for his gun, which is lying just out of his reach, but Alex tries to push himself towards it, Adams’s weight making it difficult.

“I’m going to kill you,” Adams continues, and Alex grunts with the strain of extending his arm out even further, the tips of his fingers touching the cool metal of the gun. “I’m going to kill you and tie your body to the front of my ship for everyone to see.”

Alex feels his fingers curl around the gun, and he lets out a breathless laugh. Then he’s turning to face Adams again, his hands shaking as he points the gun at his face, watching as the captain’s eyes widen.

“Fuck off,” Alex says again, and then he pulls the trigger, shutting his eyes when the shot goes off, his arms vibrating with the force of it.

It’s quiet afterwards, the silence almost unsettling after the amount of noise that had been filling the air before.

Alex opens his eyes, sees the captain lying dead at his feet, one of his hands still resting on Alex’s leg. There’s a pool of blood just visible beneath his body, and Alex feels his stomach lurch and he tears his eyes away.

He pushes himself up, scoots away from Adams’s lifeless body, still not looking, and then he brings his knees up to his chest, tries to steady his breathing, but his throat hurts and the gun is heavy in his hand and Alex can’t seem to swallow correctly.

There’s the sound of footsteps, and when Alex looks up, ready to run if he needs to, he sees that Aaron is beside him again.

He stares down at Alex with something close to a cautious expression, and then he holds out his hand, nodding at the gun clasped in Alex’s grip.

Alex manages to swallow as he gives it to Aaron, who continues to stare at him for a few more seconds as he slips the gun into the holster at his side.

“Come on,” he says, and reaches out again, this time to help Alex to his feet.

It’s only then that Alex realizes the fighting is over, that the entire pirate crew, every last one of them, has either been struck down or has surrendered.

“Those who have surrendered will be escorted to the brig,” Theodosia calls out. “Check for signs of life of those who were not so fortunate. Check all of them. If there are survivors, we will stitch them up and throw them in the brig along with the rest of them.” She looks around at all her crew, her tone making it clear that no one can argue with her. “Next time we make port, we will alert local authorities and have these pirates locked up for good.” She pauses. "And well done, all of you. You have made me proud."

After her speech, Alex looks around him, the amount of bodies lying prone on the ground making him slightly queasy.

“Alexander.” Aaron steps in front of him, blocking his view. “You’re bleeding.” He reaches out to wipe at Alex’s cheek, but Alex jerks away when he sees the blood staining Aaron’s hands. “Alexander…”

Alex shakes his head, takes a step back and peers at his own hands, vision swimming when he notices the spots of blood on them. He peers around again, at all the bodies, at all the blood, and he sways on his feet. Is this all his fault? Then his eyes land on a particular body, and Alex feels as if his entire stomach drops.

“John!” he cries out, running over to where his friend’s body lies, dropping to his knees beside him and grabbing at his face, turning it towards him and feeling tears already slipping down his cheeks at the ashen skin and closed eyes that greet him. “John! God, no, no, no.”

He hears rushing footsteps, is aware of people surrounding them, but Alex can only look down at John, can only see the blood gushing from the wound in his stomach.

“John,” Alex says again, shaking his friend again and again when he still doesn’t open his eyes. “Please don’t…please, John. Please don’t – “

“Alex, you have to move.”

“No,” Alex shouts, not even looking up to see who had spoken, but then there are hands pulling Alex away from John. “No! What are you – stop! _Stop_!”

“Alex,” the same voice says again, and a small hand slips into his, and Alex turns to see Eliza beside him, looking at him with watery eyes, but still trying to smile at him. “It’ll be okay. Just – “

He doesn’t listen to the rest of what she says, too focused on Aaron and Herc kneeling beside John, Herc’s fingers pressed to the pulse point under John’s neck. They nod at Aaron, who nods back before tearing John’s shirt open.

“I need clean fabric,” Aaron shouts, and Alex hears someone scrambling to comply with the order, and it seems like seconds later Aaron is pressing cloth to John’s wound, applying pressure. Then more people are crowding around, more orders being given, and Alex isn’t even aware that Eliza is leading him away from all of it until he’s sitting on one of the stools below deck.

He can hear her talking to him, can hear her murmuring comforting words, but Alex just stares ahead of him, his head feeling strangely clogged up as his heart thumps uncomfortably in his chest.

He flinches slightly when a wet cloth swipes over his cheek, finally focusing enough to see that Eliza is dabbing gently at his face, the cloth coming away red.

They don’t speak as she cleans the small cuts on Alex’s face, both of them lost in their own thoughts, but Alex eventually notices the way Eliza’s hands are shaking as she continues to clean him up.

Alex reaches for her hands, grasps them in both of his and squeezes, and Eliza’s bottom lip wobbles slightly, and then she’s leaning forward, her eyes shutting as her forehead rests against Alex’s.

“Are you okay?” Alex whispers in the space between them, and Eliza nods, her eyes opening.

“I’m fine. My knee’s a little bruised up. I fell. But I…” she trails off with a watery laugh. “One of the pirates tripped over me, and I stole his gun.”

Alex almost manages a small laugh at that, but the sound gets caught in his throat, and what comes out is more of a sob. Eliza squeezes his hands and shifts so that she can press a kiss to his forehead.

“He’ll be all right,” she tells him, but Alex shakes his head. She doesn’t know that. None of them know that. All Alex knows is that if he’d kept his mouth shut, John might not be bleeding out in the first place.

Alex jerks his head to the side when he hears the familiar clunking sound of Aaron coming down the stairs, and makes as if he’s going to stand, but Eliza places a firm hand on his shoulder as she pulls away from him.

“Is he okay?” Alex croaks out, and he watches as Aaron makes his way over to them, looking exhausted.

He doesn’t say anything as he takes the cloth from Eliza and nods for her to stand up, but then he takes a deep breath and looks at Alex.

“He will be,” he says. “The wound wasn’t deep, but he lost a lot of blood. He’s still unconscious, but there’s really no reason that he shouldn’t recover.”

Alex lets out a shuddering breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in, and he’s vaguely aware of Aaron saying something to Eliza, and then Aaron is taking her place on the stool in front of Alex, the wet cloth still in his hand.

He puts one hand under Alex’s chin, tipping his face up slightly before dabbing at a spot above Alex’s eye, the skin tender and the added pressure making Alex wince, despite how surprisingly gentle Aaron is being. There is silence for a few long moments, and then -

“I thought I told you not to do anything stupid.”

“Don’t,” Alex whispers, not caring that he’s interrupting. He squeezes his eyes shut, inhales slowly and tries to ignore the way he’s shaking. “Just…don’t. I can’t…not when John is – “ Alex breaks off there, his throat tight.

When he opens his eyes, Aaron is staring at him with a heavy gaze, but then he nods, continues to clean Alex’s face with gentle movements.

“He’ll be okay,” Aaron says some time later, now wiping at a cut under Alex’s eye. Then his hand is dropping, and Alex looks up to see Aaron still staring at him closely. “Laurens. Nothing will happen to him. Madison is a skilled healer. He’ll be okay.”

“No thanks to me,” Alex says back, tone flat to his own ears, and he goes to look away again but Aaron lifts his hand, this time to touch Alex’s chin, stopping him from turning.

“It wasn’t your fault, Alexander,” Aaron tells him, and then he lets out a short laugh. “In all honesty, what you did probably saved us all.”

The words should soothe Alex, should fill him with a feeling of pride that he’s always chasing, but they do nothing except make him angry.

“Stop it,” he spits out, getting a small sense of satisfaction when Aaron blinks at him in surprise. “Stop saying things you don’t mean. I hate that.”

“I’m not – “

“You are. You don’t mean any of this. You don’t mean anything you say to me and you’ve made that very clear. If you did mean them, then you wouldn’t have – “ Alex forces himself to stop there, to not bring up the kiss and the way Aaron had fled seconds later, as if he'd regretted it immediately. He shouldn’t be worry about that, not now, not with John hurt. “Forget it.”

Alex knows he sounds like an irritable child, but he doesn’t care. His body is sore, and every time he blinks he sees John lying on the deck, motionless. He can feel his eyes burning again, and that just makes him more upset.

Aaron sighs, and his hand drops down to Alex’s shoulder, squeezing. He doesn’t say anything, but when Alex looks up to meet his gaze, he sees that Aaron’s eyes are focused lower, his expression tight as he moves his fingers up to trail across Alex’s neck, pressing gently at the bruising there from where Adams had strangled Alex with his necklace. “How badly does it hurt?”

“I’m fine,” Alex tells him, knowing that Aaron immediately sees through his lie from the way one of his eyebrows quirks up. “It…hurts a little.”

Aaron nods and stands, leaving and returning with something clutched in his hands.

“Ointment,” he says as he sits back in front of Alex. “It will ease the pain, and help with the bruising.” He squeezes some onto his fingers, and then dabs it along Alex’s neck.

And Alex observes Aaron as he works, trails his gaze over Aaron’s face and takes in the concentration there, and Alex already feels guilt settling in his stomach at the way he’d snapped at Aaron earlier. He knows that they still need to talk, that there’s clearly something going on with Aaron, but the guy still didn’t deserve being yelled at when he was just trying to help.

But before Alex can even start to think about something to say, Aaron is dropping his hand and is moving to stand up, grabbing the bucket of water as he walks over to the kitchen area.

“When I saw you lying on the deck,” Aaron starts, pausing to pour the water out, his back to Alex. “Right after you first broke free…I thought…” He stops again, the room heavy with silence. “There had been gunshots from both sides, and you were right in the middle of all of it, so I thought that…” He trails off for a third time, and Alex thinks he sees his shoulders tense up, sees his hands tighten where they are holding the bucket, and he remembers the way Aaron had been frantically checking him for wounds.

“I’m fine,” Alex says again, and his tone is softer as he meets Aaron’s gaze when he turns back around to face him.

“We should get some sleep,” is all Aaron says in response, starting to walk over to his cot, stopping when Alex leaps up from his stool. “What?”

“I…” Alex shifts on his feet, and then gestures at Aaron’s face, which is still covered in dried blood. “Let me clean you up.” He doesn’t wait for Aaron to respond, just brushes past him and fills the bucket with clean water, grabbing a fresh cloth once he’s done. The least he can do is show Aaron the same kindness he just showed him.

When he turns around, Aaron is sitting on the stool, facing Alex and watching him as he walks over to set the bucket on the floor.

Alex dips the cloth in and then straightens, deciding to stay standing as he brings the cloth to Aaron’s face, swiping first at the dried blood on Aaron’s forehead. He’s focused on the task, being as gentle as he can when he dabs over the actual cuts on Aaron’s skin, and he doesn’t become distracted until he moves his other hand to angle Aaron’s face to the side, Aaron’s breath ghosting across his wrist.

Alex can’t stop his mind from recalling how Aaron’s lips had felt against his skin just hours ago. When Alex catches Aaron’s eye, he thinks that there’s a heat behind his gaze, making Alex wonder if he’s remembering the kiss as well, but, again, Alex pushes that memory away, saving it for another time.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” Alex asks, feeling flustered when his voice comes out hoarse. He clears his throat and then takes a step back when Aaron raises his hands to his shirt, starting to tug it free of his trousers.

He pauses with his fingers clutching at the hem, eyes going to Alex’s again, and Alex thinks he’s pausing because he doesn’t want Alex to get any ideas from this, but then, once Aaron does throw his shirt off of himself with a wince, Alex’s eyes immediately land on the numerous scars that litter his skin, and he can’t stop the noise of surprise that escapes his throat.

He reaches out to touch, but then stops, making eye contact with Aaron before continuing. When Aaron inclines his head in a slow nod, Alex touches his fingertips to one of the scars starts at Aaron’s shoulder, tracing over the raised skin to where it ends just below his collarbone.

“Who did this to you?” Alex asks in a whisper, moving his fingers to the next scar he sees.

Aaron just snorts. “It’s a long list.”

Alex wants to ask how it all happened, wants to know why Aaron was putting himself through so much, but he bites back all the questions when his fingers start to run over the fresh cuts on Aaron’s chest.

He bends down instead, dipping the cloth into the water before wringing it out slightly, then straightening back up so he can start to drag the cloth over Aaron’s chest, glad, at least, that none of the cuts are deep. As he continues, Alex spots dark bruising over Aaron’s ribs, and he pauses.

“Are they broken?” Alex asks, barely skimming his fingers over the skin.

Aaron shakes his head and smiles, amusement flickering across his face when Alex gives him a disbelieving look.

“The skin is just tender,” Aaron tells him. “Was lucky enough to get kicked on the side that has metal ribs. I’m sure it hurt the other person, more than it did me.”

“Metal ribs,” Alex murmurs under his breath, and he shakes his head as he snatches the ointment from where it still rests in Aaron’s hands. He squeezes a generous amount onto his own hand, and then starts to rub it onto Aaron’s skin where it’s bruised, pausing when Aaron inhales sharply.

But when Alex glances up, it’s to see Aaron with his bottom lip between his teeth, and Alex raises his eyebrows in question.

“I’m…ticklish.”

Alex grins at that, but he rubs the rest of the ointment onto Aaron’s side as quickly as he can, holding back his laughter when he feels Aaron’s skin twitching beneath his fingertips. “There. All done.”

“Thank you.” Aaron throws his shirt back on, hands smoothing over it, and then he makes a small sound, digs his hand into his pocket. “I forgot. I found this.” He holds his hand out, and Alex’s locket is lying in his palm.

Alex reaches for it immediately, holds it in both hands and lets out a short laugh. “I hadn’t even realized I’d lost it.” He smoothes a finger over the surface, and then flips it open, the hologram of him and his mother sputtering to life between him and Aaron. They both watch it for a few seconds until Alex’s flips the locket back shut. “Thank you.”

Aaron shrugs his shoulders, but he gives Alex a small smile as he stands and starts to move past him, but he stops when Alex reaches out for his hands.

“Will you…” Alex swallows, shifts on his feet. “Will you be honest with me?” He waits until Aaron gives him a slow nod to continue. “What happened…is it…was what I did stupid? Is it my fault that people got hurt? That John is…”

Aaron turns to face Alex fully, his lips thin and his expression serious. “It wasn’t stupid,” he murmurs. “When I said that…I was trying to lighten the mood. I didn’t mean it like that. What you did was reckless, maybe, but not stupid. These people…Adams and his crew…they don’t negotiate. I tried to tell Theodosia that, but…” Aaron shrugs. “As I said, what you did probably saved us all.”

“But I didn’t even have a plan,” Alex admits. “I had no plan besides just breaking free and fighting.”

“Which ended up being a good plan,” Aaron tells him gently, and he moves his hand to cup the back of Alex’s neck. “You need to sleep, okay?”

Alex nods, and he allows Aaron to nudge him towards his cot, and it seems like in the span of a blink of his eyes, Alex is lying on his back in the dark, blankets pulled over him and the sound of Aaron breathing is filling the room.

Alex doesn’t even bother trying to close his eyes, knowing that sleep won’t come until later, if at all. Whenever he blinks, he either sees John’s motionless face or Adams’s lifeless form, blood pooling underneath it.

“I’ve never killed someone before,” Alex whispers into the dark, and he clenches his hands at his sides. “I have never even fired a gun before.” He laughs as he says that, but then presses his lips together in a tight line after the laugh turns high pitched at the end, taking on an almost hysterical tone.

“Alexander…”

“I couldn’t even look at him when I did it,” Alex continues, trying to force his tone back into something more conversational. His breath catches in his throat when he breathes in. “I closed my eyes. But I could feel it, you know? I felt his hand loosen around my ankle. But I didn’t watch.” He blinks up at the ceiling, digs his fingers into the blanket for something to hold onto. “Does that make me a coward?”

There’s only silence after his question, and Alex thinks that Aaron has either fallen asleep or is choosing to ignore him, but then there is the sound of a blanket rustling, and then footsteps, and when Alex turns his head, Aaron is standing next to his cot, lantern in hand.

Light glows from the lantern moments later, and Aaron sets it on the ground before looking down at Alex.

“Scoot over,” he instructs, and Alex blinks up at him once before complying, making room for Aaron to lie beside him.

They end up with Aaron behind him, Alex’s back pressed to his front, and Alex wants to turn, wants to look at Aaron, but Aaron has a firm hold on his hip, keeping him in place.

“You aren’t a coward,” Aaron murmurs in his ear. “Everything you did today was brave. Everything you did today was hard. But you did it. And even if it might not seem like it right now, you did it well. “

Alex swallows, the movement almost painful, and he nods. But he can feel his hands shaking, and he starts to move them to tangle his fingers in the blanket again, but then Aaron’s arm is slipping around him, grabbing at one of Alex’s hands, his own folding over it and pressing so that both of their hands rest against Alex’s stomach.

“You’re okay,” Aaron tells him, and Alex nods again, bringing up his other hand to press it to the top of Aaron’s, squeezing. “Sleep, Alex.”

“Will you stay?” Alex asks, not really caring that his voice is already thick with tears, but still grateful that Aaron doesn’t comment on it and instead just grips Alex’s hand even tighter.

“I’ll stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed this one! It's one of my favorite chapters! So much happens!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation! Leave em here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies :D


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am v sorry it has been over two months but life has been a whirlwind
> 
> I hope you enjoy! x

When Alex finally blinks his eyes open, it takes him a moment to remember why his limbs feel so heavy, and why his throat aches when he swallows. But then it all comes rushing back, the fight and the shouts and the blood and John lying on the ground, not moving. All of it comes back so fast that Alex’s head spins, and he has to squeeze his eyes shut, his breath escaping him in a harsh pant.

“Alexander.”

The call of his name makes Alex’s head spin even more, confused as to why the voice sounds so close. Then he registers the feel of a body behind him, and more memories come rushing back.

Alex slowly turns over onto his other side, eyes taking in the sight of Aaron lying beside him on his back, one arm tucked behind his head while the other rests on his stomach.

“Hey,” Alex croaks out, more than a little surprised that Aaron actually stayed. He wonders if some of that surprise is showing on his face, because Aaron gives him a long look, one eyebrow raised, as if _he_ doesn't think the situation is weird in any way.

“How do you feel?”

“Fine,” Alex tells him quickly, and then he pauses to actually consider the question. “A little sore, I guess. Can I see John?” He has to actually see with his own eyes that John is okay.

Aaron blinks at Alex and breathes in deep before pushing himself up into a sitting position, Alex mirroring his movements seconds later. “Wait until you’re told you can. Rest is the most important thing for him right now.”

Alex wants to argue, but he’s tired and really does feel sore, so he just grumbles under his breath and glares when Aaron rolls his eyes at him before standing up. And then Aaron sighs again, and Alex takes a closer look at him, trails his eyes over the cut on his forehead and the bags under his eyes, and feels a wave of guilt wash over him.

Alex stands up, too, and he fidgets with the hem of his shirt before speaking. “I never thanked you.”

“Thanked me?”

“For helping with John,” Alex clarifies. “You…you just sprinted into action.” _And I didn’t_ , are the unspoken words that hang between them. 

Aaron looks at Alex with a tiny frown.  “I’ve seen my fair share of fights,” he tells him. “I knew what to do because of experience. That’s…you not knowing what to do isn’t something to be ashamed of, Alexander. I hope you never get used to that sort of thing.”

“But I should know,” Alex counters, and Aaron clenches his jaw in response. “What if it happens again?”

“It won’t,” Aaron says, but a second later he’s scowling, as if he already knows that what he just said probably isn’t true. “Alexander, you shouldn’t - “

“I need to be able to protect my friends. And myself.”

Aaron stares at him, jaw working, but he says nothing.

Alex can basically feel the lecture coming, can just imagine how Aaron is going to tell him that he’s not responsible enough to learn how to fight. That he’ll just hurt himself or someone else. That he’ll be reckless and stupid and mess up and - 

“Okay.”

Alex startles at the word, and he blinks at Aaron a few times. “What?”

Aaron lets out a slow breath, and then he reaches out and clasps Alex’s shoulder, his hand warm, fingertips pressing just slightly between the space where Alex’s shirt meets his skin. “Okay,” he repeats. “You’re right. You should know how to fight. Or at least...at least know how to defend yourself as best as you can if something else happens.”

“So you think we could get attacked again?” Even though Alex wants to learn, he’s not quite sure that he wants to have to shoot someone again, and the idea of having to choose whether to do so makes his skin prickle with nerves. 

Aaron sighs, his eyes still on Alex, and his hand shifts a little so that he’s almost cupping the back of Alex’s neck, causing Alex to shiver. “I think that it’s possible.”

Alex swallows. “So...so how will I learn?”

Aaron just smiles at him, removes his hand, and then takes a step back. “Come above deck when you’re ready.”

“I’m ready now.”

“No. Wash your face. Brush your hair. Eat something. Just...take your time. I need to make some arrangements anyway.”

“Arrangements?” 

Aaron keeps smiling and ignores Alex’s comment, opting to give him a small wave instead as he turns and starts to make his way up the stairs.

And Alex stares at the space in front of him where Aaron had just been, and raises his own hand to rub at the back of his neck, surprised at how easily Aaron had given in to his request, and more than a little confused at how sad his reaction had seemed at first. But then Alex remembers what Aaron had said the night before, about how he had thought Alex had been shot when he was lying on the deck. Is that why he doesn’t want Alex to fight? But then, isn’t that all the more reason Alex should learn? So he doesn’t get hurt?

Alex gives himself a small shake. He can worry about all of that later.

He grabs a fresh shirt from his bag and changes before moving to fill a bucket with fresh water, splashing some of it onto his face and humming at how nice it feels on his skin. 

After eating a few bites of food, feeling too pent up to really want to eat, Alex makes his way up the stairs and above deck, coming to a halt when he sees Aaron, Theodosia, Washington, Eliza, and Herc all gathered a few feet away.

When he makes his way over, Theodosia turns to him.

“Ah, Mr. Hamilton.” Theodosia nods at him, gestures for him to come closer. “I’m glad you’re joining us. Mr. Burr came to me with an idea. An idea that I believe is a very good one, especially given recent events.”

“We’re going to train you,” Aaron explains. “To fight. To protect yourselves.”

“I was foolish to leave you all so unprepared,” Theodosia continues, looking around at them. “This is a long voyage. A voyage that attracts attention, and while I hope that we will not have any more encounters like the one earlier, I won’t make the mistake of not being prepared again. So. I will train Miss Schuyler, while Mr. Burr will train Mr. Hamilton, and Mr. Washington will train Hercules, if that is amiable to everyone.”

Alex catches the way Eliza’s face lights up at the news, and he finds that he’s having trouble keeping a smile off of his face as well.

“Sounds good to me,” Alex says, and he grins at Aaron, who just snorts and shakes his head, but Alex thinks he can see a hint of a smile on his lips, which makes Alex’s stomach flutter.

“I’ll take Miss Schuyler to this portion of the ship,” Theodosia says, pointing behind her. “And go slowly, everyone. I don’t want anyone getting hurt. That's the last thing we need.”

With that, they all disperse to separate areas of the ship, Alex trotting after Aaron, excitement bubbling beneath his skin.

He watches as Aaron shrugs off his jacket, letting it drop to the deck. Then he rolls up the sleeves of his shirt, and Alex has to stop his eyes from going wide as skin and metal is revealed.

“So,” Aaron starts, turning to face Alex, the sunlight glinting of the metal of his arm. “Sword or pistol?”

“Uh…” Alex forces his eyes back up and stares Aaron in the face. “Pistol?” He figures there’s less ways for him to mess up with a gun rather than a sword. Or at least he hopes.

Aaron nods, and he takes the pistol out of its holster where it rests at his hip. “There’s more to shooting than people think. You don’t just aim and shoot. There’s sight alignment, breath control, both of which don’t really matter unless you have a practiced stance. Without a stable shooting platform, you’ll be inconsistent with your shot placement.”

“Sight, breath, and stance,” Alex recites, nodding along to Aaron’s words. “Got it.”

“There are typically three stances that people practice, but I favor the fighting stance. “ He pauses there and stoops down again, picking up an empty bottle that Alex hadn’t noticed before. He walks it over to the ship’s rail and places it on the edge, and then makes his way back to Alex’s side. “You want to be square to the target, and your feet should be a shoulder width apart, maybe a little wider, and your firing side foot is slightly behind the support side foot.” He shifts his stance as he speaks, and Alex does his best to take note of his form, and not just gawk at how good Aaron looks.

“A good landmark,” Aaron continues, “is for the toe of your shooting foot to be at the instep of the support food. This eliminates a forward-rear balance issue.”

Alex hums at that, having no clue as to what Aaron is talking about, and he glances up to see one side of Aaron’s mouth curving upwards, as if he knows Alex is a little lost, and Alex rolls his eyes.

“Flex your knees to absorb any recoil. Then lean forward slightly and extend your arms straight up.” Aaron lifts his arms. “Keep your head level to maintain balance. And then shoot.”

The shot rings out louder than Alex was expecting, and he can’t help but jump, but Aaron either doesn’t notice, or is kind enough to not comment on it. 

“You missed,” Alex says when he realizes that the bottle didn’t shatter.

Aaron scoffs. “I wasn’t actually aiming for it. That’s your job.” He holds out the pistol for Alex to take. “Just do everything I told you to do. Let’s see how good your memory is.”

Alex feels his confidence dwindle at those words. He’s pretty sure he’s already forgotten half of what Aaron told him. But he takes the gun anyway and positions himself so he’s facing the bottle. He needs to be square to the target. That much he remembers. 

He shifts his feet so they are a shoulder width apart. And is his support side foot supposed to be behind his firing side foot? Alex makes the movement, peeking over at Aaron to get a hint, but the man’s expression gives nothing away.

Alex bends his knees next, and then he raises his arms, squinting one eye shut as he aims at the bottle. He breathes in deep, and then shoots.

He misses.

“You’re dead,” Aaron comments from off to the side, and Alex glances over at him with narrowed eyes. “You can’t afford to miss.”

“I know that.” Alex lowers his arms. “What did I do wrong?”

“You tell me.”

Alex wants to groan, but he bites it back and looks down at himself, doing his best to remember the correct posture. “Are my feet wrong?”

Aaron hums, and then he’s walking over to Alex, kicking at one of his feet. “Support foot should go in front. Firing foot slightly behind.”

Alex makes the adjustment, trying to figure out if that feels more natural. He does feel a little more balanced.

“Now turn your foot a little so your toes line up with the instep. Good.” Aaron moves behind Alex and places his hands on his shoulders. “Flex your knees and bend. Not so much...there. Perfect.”

Alex warms a little at the praise, and that warmth spreads when Aaron’s hands squeeze his shoulders before trailing down to his waist. Alex swallows hard.

“Try not to lean forward,” Aaron murmurs, his mouth close to Alex’s ear, breath tickling the side of his face. “You want to stay balanced. That’s one of the most important things.”

“Right,” Alex says, and he clears his throat, trying to focus on maintaining his posture, but he is far too distracted by the feeling of Aaron’s hands on him. “And now I…” He trails off as he raises his arms, taking aim at the bottle.

One of Aaron’s hands leaves his waist, coming up to grab lightly at Alex’s wrist, lowering his arms slightly. The movement causes Aaron to get even closer, his front pressed to Alex’s back.  Alex feels his face heat up, and is thankful that Aaron is behind him.

“Spread your legs a little more,” Aaron tells him, and Alex barely suppresses another groan because _really_? Is this guy _trying_ to torture him? “Good. Now head up, and fire.”

Alex breathes in through his nose as he locks his gaze on the bottle. He does his best to block out the press of Aaron’s hands on his skin, and he pulls the trigger.

And misses again.

He curses under his breath and lowers his arm, but Aaron just chuckles from behind him and moves so that he’s next to Alex instead.

“Better,” he tells him. “You’re not going to get it right away.”

“I shot Adams on the first try!”   


“True. But he was much closer and not exactly in any condition to run away. Other targets will be more difficult. You might only have one shot to take.”

Alex feels his stomach churn at those words, hundreds of scenarios running through his mind where he fails to hit the target, but also ones where he succeeds. He doesn't know which one makes him feel worse.

“I’m ready to try again,” Alex says, and he turns to face the bottle and has his arms half raised before Aaron reaches for him and gives a small shake of his head.

“Let’s get your stance down first. And then move onto controlling your breathing.”

“But - “

“We don’t have bullets to spare,” Aaron tells him softly, and he eases the pistol from Alex’s hands and puts it back in the holster. “Don’t look at me like that,” he continues with a short laugh, causing Alex to realize he’d been glaring. “I’ll let you shoot it again after we practice some more.”

‘Practice’ ends up being Aaron coaching Alex into the correct posture over and over again, hands lingering far too long on his arms and waist and legs. Alex is sure his face must be glowing red, but he pushes past it and does his best to concentrate.

What’s even worse than working on his posture is when Aaron coaches him through several breathing techniques. This includes Aaron standing behind Alex with one hand splayed on his stomach so that he can feel how he breathes.

When he asks Alex if his breath is hitching because of his soreness, Alex spends almost a solid minute laughing because there’s no way Aaron is that oblivious to what his closeness is doing to Alex. 

Finally, after a torturously long time, Aaron hands him the pistol again.

“Hit it this time.”

Alex nods, and as he turns to face the bottle and positions himself as practiced, he can almost feel a difference in confidence. His movements seem easier, more natural, and as he breathes in deep and exhales, keeping his eyes focused, he knows that he’s going to hit the target a second before he actually does.

The sound of glass shattering still surprises him though, and he has to blink a few times before it really hits him that he did it.

“Good,” Aaron says. “Next time you’ll have to move faster, you won’t have so much time to - “

“I hit it,” Alex breathes out, and he lowers his arms before turning to stare at Aaron. “I actually hit it. Like….I did that. Me.”

Aaron gives him a strange look, as if he doesn’t understand Alex’s awe, before nodding his head. “You did.”

Alex feels something start to well up inside of him, an emotion that quickly bubbles to the surface and makes his eyes start to burn. But then a laugh escapes him, and he launches himself at Aaron, catching a quick glimpse of his startled expression before they’re hugging, both of Alex’s arms wrapped tightly around Aaron’s middle.

“That’s so cool,” Alex breathes out, laughing again, and he tightens his group around Aaron, pride coursing through him and making him unsteady on his feet.

After a few more seconds, one of Aaron’s hands slowly comes up to rest against Alex’s back, and it’s only then that Alex realizes what he’s doing, and he leaps back, face burning.

“Sorry,” he blurts out, and he looks around to see if anyone else had witnessed that, and is happy to see that Eliza and Theodosia are practicing sword fighting, both of them laughing as Eliza twirls her sword in front of her. And on the other side of the ship, Herc is training with Washington, both of their backs to Alex. But then Alex spots Bellamy, who, at some point, had come over to watch Herc practice, and is staring over at Alex with both hands raised, giving him a thumbs up gesture.

“Alexander?”

“Sorry,” Alex says again, facing Aaron. “I just...I was really excited. And you helped me. Cause you’re nice. Secret nice, like I’ve said before. Although not so secret anymore. Anyway.” Alex runs a his fingers through his hair, and laughs. “That was just like...a thank you, I guess.”

“You’re welcome.”

Alex peeks up at Aaron to see him smiling, and then finds himself grinning back, which, for some reason, makes Aaron laugh.

“Here,” he says, holding out his hand. “Next time you hug someone, I’d suggest not having a loaded weapon in your hands. We can move on to sword fighting, if you want.”

Alex’s face warms a little at the reprimand. “Oh. Right.” He’s about to hand the gun over to Aaron, but then something in Aaron’s expression - maybe it’s how carefree and amused he looks - makes Alex’s confidence surge even more.

He takes a step forward so that he’s directly in front of Aaron, and then rests his free hand on Aaron’s waist before moving to slide the gun back into the holster that is hanging at Aaron’s side. His movements are slow, deliberate, and he can feel Aaron’s gaze on him the entire time.

When he finally peers up at Aaron, his eyes are dark, gaze latched onto Alex for a few long moments. But then he looks away, and he takes a step back, causing Alex’s hand to drop.

“You should go see Laurens.”

“I - what?” Alex watches as Aaron bends down to pick up his previously discarded jacket.

“Laurens,” Aaron says again, tugging his jacket on and avoiding eye contact, which sparks a small sense of anger in Alex. “You wanted to visit him, right? You’ve done enough work for today. And you’ll just keep being distracted until you talk to him, so take the rest of the day off and we can continue tomorrow.”

Alex grits his teeth, trying to decide if this is worth picking a fight over. Why does Aaron need to act so closed off sometimes? It was just a hug. And then some touching and eye contact full of sexual tension, but still. 

“Fine,” Alex mutters after a few more seconds. “Thanks, or whatever. See you later.”

He makes it about ten steps before Aaron calls his name, so he peers over his shoulder, and sees Aaron shift on his feet before he speaks.

“You did a good job today.”

Alex blinks. “Oh.” He scratches at the side of his face, and gives Aaron a hesitant smile. “Thanks.”

Aaron looks like he’s going to say something else, but then he just nods at Alex before turning away, clearly putting an end to the conversation.

So Alex turns back and continues on his way, spirits a little more lifted by the time he reaches the room acting as the sick ward.

Alex knocks, and then he rocks back on his heels as he waits. When the door opens a few seconds later, Alex finds himself face to face with someone he hasn’t officially met yet, but remembers Bellamy pointing him out as James Madison.

“Hi,” Alex says after a beat. “Uh, I’m - “

“Here to visit John?” Madison asks, nodding when Alex hums. “I figured. He’s been asking about you.”

“He’s awake?”

“He is. And he’s in fine condition. Lost a lot of blood, but he’ll turn out okay. He just needs rest.”

Alex lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in. “Awesome. Or, uh, thanks. For...for looking after him.”

Madison gives Alex a strange look. “Well, it is my job.”

“Right.” Alex searches for something else to say when it looks as if Madison still isn’t going to mvoe. “He wants to be a doctor, too, you know.”

Madison cracks a small smile at that. “I know. Here, go on in. I need to step out for some food anyway. Try not to tire him out too much.”

Alex has to restrain himself from pushing past Madison, but once the man finally steps out of the doorway, Alex basically sprints into the room, coming to a quick halt when he spots John on one of the cots inside, propped up by at least five pillows and staring at Alex with bleary eyes.

“Wow,” John says, his voice hoarse. “A guy takes a bullet to the stomach, almost dies, and it still takes his best friend almost a whole day to come visit him.”

Alex laughs, and he pulls a chair over to the cot and sits, reaching a hand out to lightly punch John on the arm. “A bullet to the stomach is nothing. Now if you’d been shot in the dick or something, I would have been here immediately to offer moral support.”

John snorts, and then he brings up one hand to splay it over his stomach, which is heavily bandaged. “Well, when you put it that way, I guess I am pretty glad it was just my stomach.”

“Plus you’ll have a badass scar that you can show off.”

“You’re right. This was totally worth it.”  

They both laugh, and then fall silent, and Alex can’t help but notice how tired John looks, and how pale and drawn his face appears.

“You’re okay, though?” he asks softly.

John shrugs. “This is probably stupid of me, but thing I’m most annoyed about is this nasty diet I’m gonna have to follow until I heal up. Plus James said walking was probably going to be a bitch for a while. But I’ll live, so…”

As John says that, Alex really starts to think about the scenario in which John doesn’t make it. It’s like he can’t even fathom John dying. Sure the guy’s a real jackass at times, but he’s always been there, has always been getting into trouble and has been at Alex’s side ever since they were kids. Losing him would be like losing a limb. It would throw Alex off balance.

“I’ll visit you more,” Alex tells him. “Every day. Whenever you want. Maybe I’ll even eat some of your shitty food with you.”

John chuckles, and he shifts on the bed, wincing a little at the movement before peering closely at Alex. “Tell me about the rest of the fight. No one has filled me in. And don’t get mad if I fall asleep. I promise it’s not you.”

Alex smiles as John’s eyes slip shut before he even starts talking. “Everything was kind of a blur. I guess when you really think about it, the fight didn’t last that long. Theodosia was kicking ass.”

“I saw her,” John murmurs. “She stabbed one guy right through the shoulder and then kicked him in the balls.”

“I really should stay on her good side.” Alex pauses and licks his lips, considering whether he should tell John everything. “I, uh, well...I sort of shot Adams.”

“What?”

“Adams. I killed him. He was...he came after me and I had a gun so I…” he trails off, not really wanting to relive the moment when it’s still so fresh in his mind. He curls his hands into fists where they are resting on his lap. “And then the fight was pretty much over after that.”

“Damn. Getting shot makes you miss a lot. Wish I could have seen you put a bullet in Adams’ head.”

Alex’s stomach lurches slightly, but he forces out a laugh, glad, at least, that John’s eyes are still closed so he can’t see the way Alex’s hands are shaking.

Alex knows that he didn’t exactly have any other choice than to shoot Adams. The man was going to kill him. And maybe kill other people. But Alex can’t help but wish it hadn’t happened. That someone else had been responsible for taking care of Adams.

“I…” Alex breathes past the nausea suddenly swirling inside him. “I know the guy was an ass, and that...that he was planning on killing all of us, but I...killing him, it...I wish - “ Alex cuts off when his eyes flick up to John, whose mouth has parted, his breathing coming out slow and steady.

There’s a flicker of disappointment, but then Alex just laughs and shakes his head. Typical John.

He stays with him until Madison returns, and then takes his leave.

He wanders around deck and helps where he can, whether it’s cleaning up after the fight or fetching supplies. But eventually he grows tired, and the sun is slipping below the horizon, so Alex retreats back downstairs.

When he enters the kitchen, Aaron is already there, scrubbing at a pot but pausing when Alex walks in.

“How was Laurens?”

“Good. Fell asleep when I was trying to talk.” Alex laughs and rubs at his eyes. “Which is normal behavior for him, so I guess I don’t have much to be worried about.”

Aaron hums, but he keeps his eyes on Alex as he continues to wash the pot. “Do you have something you need to talk about?”

Alex briefly considers bringing up the Adams thing again, but he doesn’t want Aaron to think he’s weak, doesn’t want him to have to constantly reassure Alex. So he just shakes his head.

“No, I’m fine. Just tired.” He walks over to his cot before Aaron can ask anything else, and he lies down on his side with a huff, pulling the blanket over him.

He feels stupid for being so messed up over killing Adams. Who cares that he’s dead? He sucked. He was cruel. But Alex just can’t get over the fact that he killed someone. He shot someone and took their life. Someone is _dead_ because of him.

And now he’s learning how to be a better shot, meaning he’ll have a better chance of killing someone else. Why? Why is he doing that? All he can think about is pool of blood beneath Adams. Did some of it get onto him?

Alex shifts on the cot, and pulls the blanket tighter around him. No, he would have noticed. There’s no blood on him. He had washed this morning, anyway. It’s fine. He’s fine. He’s - 

Alex’s thoughts come to a halt when he hears footsteps getting closer, and his eyes fly open when he feels Aaron slide onto the cot beside him.

He’s about to turn around, but just like the night before, one of Aaron’s arms wraps around him, holding him in place.

“Got to sleep,” Aaron murmurs. “Don’t think about it. Just sleep.”

Alex wants to ask how he can not think about it, but he swallows the question down, and nods instead. He lets out a shaky breath and, unlike earlier in the day, allows himself to focus on Aaron’s closeness and his touch, on the sound of his breathing.

As Alex’s eyes grow heavy, he wonders if this - only being able to sleep with Aaron beside him - is a bad habit to get into. Especially with how Aaron’s mood changes so often in regards to how he acts around Alex.

But then Aaron’s hand moves to Alex’s hip, fingers pressing in soothing circles over his clothing, and Alex decides that this is a bad habit he’s more than willing to grow accustomed to.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very excited to get this story going again, and will do my best to not make y'all wait so long for the next update. I'm hoping this chapter was just a small roadblock, and now that I finished it, the upcoming chapters will go a little more smoothly.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated, and comments fuel my motivation (and would be extra appreciated since this hasn't been updated for so long lol, let me know that you guys are still here!) Leave comments here and/or at my tumblr @fanciful-follies


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah! Look at that! Not even a week and a half later and we already have a new chapter.
> 
> This is a long one. Enjoy x
> 
> (Also, warning for discussion of past non-con. Nothing explicit, but yeah. It's towards the end.)

Over the next couple of days, Alex gets better and better at handling a gun. He hits the bottle on his first try almost every time, even when Aaron starts shouting at him as a way to try and distract him.

They start to incorporate sword fighting into the training sessions pretty quickly, Aaron citing it as being necessary so that Alex “doesn’t get too big of a head over his shooting skills.”

And if Alex thought that Aaron was a good shot, he was an even better swordsman.

“Focus,” Aaron tells him after landing another blow to Alex’s shoulder. They’re using wooden swords, but it still sends a thrum of pain down Alex’s arm. “You can’t space out for even half a second when sword fighting.”

Alex feels his cheeks heat. He doesn’t want to admit that the way Aaron’s shirtsleeves are rolled up past his elbows is the thing that is distracting him, along with the sheen of sweat that Alex can see is covering the part of Aaron’s chest that is peeking out from the collar of his shirt.

So Alex just grumbles out an apology and tries to put his attention on where Aaron is putting most of his weight, as he’d been taught to do. But that really just means that Alex is trailing his eyes over Aaron’s legs, which turns into an entirely new distraction in itself.

“Alexander.” Aaron’s voice is laced with amusement, and Alex knows that his face must be flushed.

In a rushed attempt to keep Aaron from saying anything more, Alex leaps forward and tries to land a blow on Aaron’s right hip, but Aaron easily blocks him.

“Focus.”

“My focus isn’t the problem,” Alex grits out, abandoning his fighting stance and finally meeting Aaron’s gaze, who straightens up as well.. “I’m never going to land a hit. You’re too good! You have like, ten years of experience. I have one day.”

“I’m not even trying my best to - “

“Oh, great. That makes me feel so much better. Thanks.” Alex huffs out a breath and  runs his fingers through his hair, pushing some strands off of his face. When he glances over at Aaron again, he notices with a slight thrill that the man is tracking the trail of his fingers, following them as Alex brings them down to scratch slowly at the side of his neck.

Interesting.

“This isn’t about me making you feel better,” Aaron responds a few seconds later, and Alex bites back a smile when the man has to tear his eyes away from where Alex’s hand is still resting on his neck. “This is about me keeping you alive.”

“Well then you need to come up with a new plan, cause this clearly isn’t working.”

Aaron sighs, and he observes Alex for so long that Alex eventually has to shift on his feet out of discomfort from being looked at for so long. “Sometimes,” Aaron starts, “sword fighting is more than just technique. You have to be clever and think fast. Use every tool at your disposal.”

“Meaning?”

“Trick your opponent. Do something unexpected. You’re good at that.”

Alex purses his lips at that. “Is that a compliment?”

“It’s a fact,” Aaron tells him dryly, but his lips twitch. “So use it to your advantage. Now get into the proper position again.”

Alex sighs, but he bends his knees a little and holds his sword out in front of him.

Him and Aaron start to slowly circle each other, and Alex tries to think of something unexpected to do that could distract Aaron, and comes up blank. But then an idea pops into his head, and Alex grins to himself before spurring into action.

He throws the wooden sword from his hand, watching as it flies a few feet in front of him, the tip of it hitting Aaron squarely in the chest before bouncing off and clattering to the deck.

Aaron pauses his movements and glances down at Alex’s sword, which is now lying at his feet, and then back up at Alex. “What the hell was that?”

“Something unexpected,” Alex says, feeling slightly offended that he has to explain the action. But then he bounds forward and wrenches Aaron’s sword from his grip and points it at the space beneath Aaron’s chin. 

Aaron blinks at him a few times, posture tense, but then he laughs, the sound ringing out across the deck, and making Alex smile. He’s been making Aaron laugh a lot more lately. It’s a nice sound.

“Effective,” Aaron says, still chuckling. “Although I don’t know if I’d recommend throwing your weapon at your opponent as a regular tactic.”

“But it worked.” Alex lowers his sword, and Aaron throws him an amused look before bending down to pick up the other sword.

“I know it did, but -”

“Don’t be bitter because I won that round,” Alex cuts in, smirking when Aaron glares at him. “It was a good move. Admit it.”

“I’ll admit it if you can beat me again,” Aaron challenges, his own lips twisting up into a smirk.

“How is that fair?”

“I never said it was.”

“And what do you get if you win?” Alex asks in a teasing tone before his confidence fails him, and he feels his stomach flip in surprise when Aaron grins at him instead of deflecting, a playful look in his eyes.

“I haven’t decided yet. Now, enough stalling. Get ready.”

Alex gets into position again, and he does his best to put all of his attention on Aaron and how he moves as they start to circle each other. But the next thing Alex knows, there’s a foot hooking around his ankle, knocking his own foot forward and causing him to lose balance.

He tumbles backwards, but Aaron follows, his metal hand slipping behind Alex’s head, cradling it, so that when they both fall onto the deck, Alex’s head is saved from the impact. 

“Woah,” Alex says once he manages to catch his breath, and he lets out a short laugh. He goes a little cross-eyed as he stares up at Aaron, who is hovering above him, sword pointed at Alex’s chest. “I feel like that was cheating.”

Aaron chuckles as he drops his sword onto the deck beside them. “I told you to use whatever tools are at your disposal, didn’t I? What makes you think your opponent won’t do the same?”

“And do you always resort to kicking?”

Aaron smiles so brightly that Alex feels his heart skip a beat. “Only when I know it will work.”

“Is that a dig at me?” Alex asks with another laugh, and when Aaron laughs back, his breath ghosting over Alex’s face, that’s when Alex realizes just how close they are.

One of Aaron’s thighs is pressed against his, and the hand that isn’t still cradling the back of Alex’s head is now resting just beside his face, holding up Aaron’s weight, and the fabric of Aaron’s shirt is brushing against Alex’s stomach.

“What about this?” Alex asks next, his voice softer, scared of ruining the moment. “Do you always soften the landing for your opponent? Or hover over them like this?” Alex swallows. “Or look at them like you’re looking at me?”

Aaron’s eyes roam over Alex’s face, and Alex thinks that he bends even closer, just barely. “Only when I know it will work,” he murmurs again, and then, there’s no denying it this time, Aaron moves in even closer, mouth capturing Alex’s in a kiss.

Alex blinks once, barely having time to register what’s happening before Aaron pulls away. But he stays close, nose brushing against Alex’s as they both breathe in and out far too shakily after just one kiss.

But Alex can’t help it. Not when Aaron finally kissed him first and looks like he wants to again.

“Is this what you wanted?” Alex murmurs. “If you won? Did you want to…” He trails off there, his courage leaving him at the last moment, watching as Aaron’s lips part, his brows drawing together.

“I told you I hadn’t decided,” Aaron tells him, and he shifts slightly. “But…”

“But?”

Aaron doesn’t respond to Alex’s prompting, just keeps looking down at him, and Alex doesn’t know what to say. He’s too worried about saying something wrong, something that would push Aaron away.

So instead of speaking, Alex tilts his chin up, parts his lips, and watches as Aaron’s eyes darken, his mouth curving up into a smirk. And then they’re kissing again. And again. And again, Aaron’s lips lingering on his a bit longer each time. 

Now Alex knows that Aaron had been holding back the first time they kissed after taking the escape boat out, because this, _this_ is a real kiss. This kiss is all consuming, sending heat coursing through Alex’s body.

He grabs at the front of Aaron’s shirt, tugs roughly, and shudders when almost all of Aaron’s weight falls on him, mouth opening in a gasp at the feeling. 

Aaron is warm and solid and muscular, and Alex wants to feel more of him, all of him. So he slides his hands to Aaron’s back, runs his palms over the muscle there and clings to him, breath stuttering when Aaron nips gently at his lower lip.

Then Aaron’s hips hitch forward, just barely, but the small movement causes Alex to arch up against Aaron, a soft noise escaping him that Aaron echoes back seconds later before he is pulling away again.

Alex feels the exact moment that everything catches up to Aaron, because the man stiffens for the span of a second, and then he jerks further away.

“Aaron.”  Alex unclenches his fingers from Aaron’s shirt, moves to cup Aaron’s face but Aaron dodges him, and then, all of a sudden, he’s gone, pushing himself off of Alex so that he’s sitting beside him instead. “What’s - “

“We can’t,” is all Aaron says, his tone curt. “I shouldn’t have - “

“Bullshit.” Alex pushes himself up so that he’s facing Aaron, who is stone-faced, and Alex feels a desperation to rectify he situation fill him, making his next words come out shaky. “You’ve been flirting with me all fucking day, so don’t give me that crap.”

“I wasn’t -” 

“You were.” Alex lets out a breath, frustrated that this keeps happening. Why does Aaron always have to get so pissy about things? “You were flirting. And I was flirting back. You could have stopped whenever. But you didn’t. And I didn’t want you to. And then you kissed me, and I wanted you to, so I don’t - “

“It was a mistake.”

Alex snaps his mouth shut at that, his face burning in anger and embarrassment at Aaron’s words. A mistake. Right. He shouldn’t have thought any different. Of course it was a mistake. Anything involving him is always a mistake.

Aaron doesn’t even have the decency to look at him after saying that, and Alex feels his throat tighten. He needs to get out of here. He needs to be anywhere else but here.

“A mistake,” Alex mutters as he stands, now avoiding eye contact himself. “Well, I apologize. It won’t happen again. Of course that would be easier to promise if you stopped throwing yourself on top of me.”

“Alexander…”

“Oh, just fuck off, Aaron.” Alex kicks one of the wooden swords lying on the deck out of his way. “Or you know what? I’ll fuck off. Remove myself from the situation so you don’t make anymore _mistakes_.”

He starts to move away, and even though he tries to force himself not to, he pauses. He pauses and waits for Aaron to say something, to stop him. But there’s only silence, so Alex pushes onward, half-jogging by the time he makes it to another section of the ship, heart thumping uncomfortably in his chest.

“Alex!”

He turns his head, catches Eliza waving at him, Herc and John behind her. Alex debates just waving back and then continuing on his way, but then his friends are already catching up to him, leaving him with no choice but to remain.

“You’re getting pretty fast with that,” Alex says, gesturing at John’s crutch, which he's been using ever since being let out of the sick bay.

John grins at him. “Right? I was racing Maria earlier and beat her.”

“She totally let you win,” Herc says from the side, making Eliza laugh while John scowls.

“You okay?” Eliza asks Alex, concern etching its way onto her face. “You look - “

“I’m just tired,” Alex tells her, smiling despite the way his hands are shaking. “I just finished my training session, so…” He trails off there, stomach clenching uncomfortably as his mind drifts to Aaron.

“I didn’t have mine today,” Eliza says, and she sounds almost sad about it, which Alex guesses she probably is. “And I - “ She cuts off suddenly, cheeks flushing, and when Alex turns, he sees Theodosia making her way over to them.

“Good afternoon, everyone,” she says, hands clasped behind her back. “I hope you are all enjoying the day.” She smiles when they all mumble out that they are. “And are you all looking forward to making port in a few days?”

“What do you mean?” Alex asks. “We’re landing?”

Theodosia nods. “We need to refresh some supplies. And deal with the pirate prisoners we still have in our brig. Although none of you will have to worry about that. You’ll be free to spend the day shopping or posting any letters you wish to be sent.”

“We should do something for your birthday!” Eliza says, and it takes Alex a few seconds to realize she’s talking to him. “What? Don’t tell me you forgot? Your twentieth birthday is this week!”

“Oh.” Alex _had_ forgotten. Time passes strangely on the ship.

“That sounds like a brilliant plan,” Theodosia comments, and then she pauses, rocking forward on her feet as her gaze goes to Eliza. “Miss Schuyler, I was hoping you’d accompany on my walkthrough of the ship?”

“I’d love to,” Eliza says rather breathlessly, and Theodosia beams.

“Wonderful. Shall we?”

As the two of them walk away side by side, Alex feels an irrational wave of anger and jealousy wash over him, and he averts his gaze.

“When did that become a thing?” John asks, and Alex snorts.

“The first day of the voyage,” he responds, his voice more bitter than he means it to be, and John arches a brow.

“What? Are you jealous?” John smirks. “Want me to fix that?”

Herc makes a face. “Y’all are too much sometimes. Get a room.”

“I’m not opposed to that,” John comments, and Alex is about to roll his eyes and tell John to lay off when he stops and really considers the offer.

He knows right away it’s a bad idea. That it’s selfish and stupid. Reckless. But the prospect of being touched and kissed, of being _wanted_ , sounds far too appealing right now for Alex to pass up. So he just raises his eyebrows at John, who grins back.

“Yep, okay, I’m gone.” Herc gives them both a wave before walking away, leaving the two of them alone.

“You really want to?” John asks, and Alex answers be nodding his head towards the stairs that lead down to the kitchen, to Alex’s room.

They make their way down the stairs slowly, Alex having to pause and help John hop down a majority of them. But once they reach the bottom, Alex wastes no time and presses up on his tiptoes to kiss John, arms wrapping around his neck.

John makes a surprised noise, but he kisses back with fervor, his free hand coming up to rest on Alex's hip.

Eventually the make their way to Alex’s cot, and after some careful maneuvering, John is sitting down on it, Alex crawling onto his lap and settling there, resuming the kiss with a desperation he feels in his bones.

John breaks away from the kiss with a laugh. “I’m not supposed to exert too much energy,” he says, but he leans back in and kisses Alex anyway.

“You were already racing Maria,” Alex points out, and they both smile against each other’s mouths. “Besides, you won’t have to do anything but lie back and relax.” He nudges at John’s shoulders until he understands and falls back on the cot, staring up at Alex in amusement.

“I haven’t seen you this horny in a while,” he teases, laughing when Alex glares down at him. “Not that I’m complaining.” 

“I’d be shocked if you were.” Alex shifts so that he’s hovering over John, and he bends down further to kiss him again, shuddering slightly when John bites at his lower lip, dragging his teeth over it before kissing Alex deeply, tongue soothing over the teeth marks.

Alex slides his lips to John’s jaw, pressing open-mouthed kisses to the skin there before moving to his neck, sucking on a spot below John’s ear and smiling to himself when he hears John’s breath hitch. At least someone appreciates Alex’s skills. At least someone wants him.

“Alex…”

Alex hushes him and scrapes the tips of his teeth over the expanse of John’s neck, one hand holding up his weight as the other trails over John’s stomach and then down to his crotch, palming at him over the material of his pants.

“Alex.” John arches beneath him, one of his hands coming up to tangle in Alex’s hair, tugging slightly and making Alex moan. “Shit…”

Grinding down slightly against John’s thigh, Alex slides his hand to the fastenings of John’s pants, tugging at them as his pulse thrums rapidly. He dips his hand down the front of John’s pants, fingers wrapping around his length, and John’s hiss at the contact fills the room.

Alex begins to stroke him slowly, resting his forehead on John’s shoulder and pressing the occasional kiss to his collarbone. He’s good at this. He knows how to make John feel good. It’s something he’s never messed up at. And Alex needs that reassurance right now. He needs to feel like he’s doing something right.

John hitches his hips forward, lets out a short pant of breath. “Alex…” He trails off, and the only sound in the room for a few seconds is the wet sound of Alex jerking him off. Then John tugs at his hair again, and Alex lets out a hum. “Alex.” John’s voice is more frantic, and Alex figures he must be close. “Alex!” John tugs at his hair hard, too hard for it to be pleasurable, and Alex rears back with a yelp, preparing to fix John with a glare, but then he freezes.

He freezes because John isn’t looking at him. He’s looking past Alex with an expression of embarrassment, red rushing into his cheeks.

Alex slowly turns around, stomach dropping when his gaze meets Aaron’s.

“Oh.” Alex’s brain quickly reminds him of the situation; he’s on top of John, John’s hand is tangled in his hair, Alex’s hand is down John’s pants, and he’s sure that both of their faces are flushed. There’s really no way to make this seem like anything other than what it is.

Aaron says nothing, just stands at the bottom of the stairs and watches as John shoves at Alex, causing him to tumble backwards with a rather undignified noise.

Alex can hear John fixing his clothes, but as he shifts so that he’s upright, he keeps his eyes on Aaron. “Can we help you?”

Aaron’s eye flashes gold, and Alex thinks he hears John sigh behind him.

“Madison was looking for you,” Aaron says, his words clipped as he directs them at John. “He wanted to do a checkup.”

John clears his throat. “Right. Well I’ll just...go and do that, then.” He stands up and grabs for his crutch, throwing Alex an apologetic look as he limps his way over to the stairs. “I’ll see you l-”

“Alexander will be busy,” Aaron cuts in before Alex can. “There’s work to be done. Which you two should remember in the future. There isn’t time to fool around.”

“Isn’t there?” Alex spits back, standing up and watching as Aaron’s jaw clenches. “I didn’t have anything else to do. I was supposed to have sword training, but since you cut the lesson short, I had some time on my hands. And you don’t get to dictate how I spend it!”

“When you choose to spend it having sex with a recovering patient in the kitchen area, I think I do get to dictate it!" Aaron scowls at him, and there's an expression that is close to disappointment, which makes Alex furious. "How stupid can you - “

“I’m not stupid!” Alex shouts, and he’s embarrassed to feel tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He blinks them back, and clenches his fists, angry at how upset he already is. 

Aaron looks shocked at the outburst, and for some reason that just makes Alex even angrier.

“I’m sorry that you think I’m irresponsible and that you think I’m a mistake, but if you hate me that much then just stop getting in the way! Stop involving yourself! Just stop it!”

He doesn’t wait for Aaron to respond, half-because he’s too angry to wait, and half-because he needs to escape before tears actually fall from his eyes, although he’s sure Aaron hasn’t missed the way they’re building in his eyes.

So he pushes past Aaron, their shoulders knocking together painfully as Alex makes a quick exit, not noticing until he’s bounding up the stairs that John isn’t there. He must have left mid-shouting match without Alex noticing. 

Alex briefly considers going to find John, but then he catches sight of Herc and Bellamy across the deck, Bellamy’s long limbs wrapped around Herc as Herc gives him a piggy back ride, their laughter ringing out loudly.

And Alex, hating himself slightly because of it, feels bitterness twist deep in his gut, the sensation so intense that he actually lets out a gasp of air, as if he’s been punched. 

Turning away, Alex casts his glance up. taking in the way the sails are billowing in the wind, the sky a swirl of brilliant colors as the sun begins to set.  It’s times like these where Alex wishes he had his solar glider. He could take it out and just fly away, or at least get away for a bit...feel the wind whipping through his hair…

He looks at the sails more closely, and chews at his lips before whispering a quiet ‘fuck it’ underneath his breath. If he can’t have his solar glider, he can at least get the height and the freedom that it usually brings him.

Glancing around quickly, Alex makes his way over to the ropes that lead up to the sails. He climbs steadily, but also goes as fast as he can manage, not wanting to risk getting caught and reprimanded by Theodosia or Washington. 

Once he’s finally sitting on the mast, hidden partially by the sail and looking over the deck, Alex lets some of the tears fall.

He just doesn’t understand why he has this affect on people, why everyone always eventually looks at him like he’s some huge disappointment. It must be his fault. He’s the only common factor. But he doesn’t know what exactly it is that makes everyone - his dad, his mom, Theodosia and Washington,, Aaron - get so fed up with him that they get close to just tossing him away. Although in his dad’s case, he didn’t just get close, he did toss Alex away.

Alex sniffs and wipes a hand across his eyes. He was stupid to think that this voyage would change anything. Sure, he’s learning how to shoot and how to fight, but he still has nightmares of Adams’ dead body and the puddle of blood seeping onto the deck, so what’s the point? It’s all pointless.

And he’s barely managed to make any friends. Jefferson hates him, and so does Lee. Bellamy and Theodosia both like Herc and Eliza more, and Alex can’t blame them. And then there’s John, who seems to either like or be mad at Alex, depending on the day.

And Aaron, of course, is the biggest mystery of all.

One day they’re acting like best friends, and then the next Aaron is looking at him as if he’s repulsive. One night they’re cuddling each other to sleep and then Alex all of a sudden won’t see him for a day or two.

And Alex doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with _him_.

He also doesn’t know how long he sits up there, but when he finally blinks himself back to reality, the sun has set, and the night air is considerably cooler than it had been when Alex had first climbed up.

“Alexander?”

Alex peers down, takes in the sight of Aaron staring right at him, his eye glowing gold. He wonders briefly if his eye has some kind of thermal vision that can see heat signatures. Or did he really just think Alex would be sitting up in the sails?

“Alexander,” Aaron calls again. “Can I talk to you?”

“No,” Alex snaps out, and he thinks, even from where he’s sitting, that he can hear Aaron sigh.

“Not even if it’s to apologize?”

Alex shifts. “Maybe.”

Aaron takes a tentative step forward, eyes still on Alex. “Will you come down?”

“No.”

“...Can I come up there?”

Alex hesitates with his answer. Half of him wants to say no just to be annoying, just to give Aaron a taste of his own medicine. But the other half of him wants to hear what Aaron has to say. And it’s that half that wins out.

“I won’t stop you.”

Aaron makes quick work of climbing up the ropes, and when he settles down beside him, Alex has to try very hard to not look over at the man, refusing to be the one to breach the silence between them.

“Alexander.” Aaron pauses after that one word, and he sighs. “I’m not...trying to hurt your feelings.”

Alex snorts, and he swipes the sleeve of his shirt beneath his nose. “Yeah? Well you’re doing a bang up job of that.”

“I know,” Aaron says, surprising Alex a little, but he still doesn’t look over at the man. “And I’m...sorry. But I’m doing what I’m doing because you’re - “

“So it’s my fault?” Alex asks, and his voice comes out high pitched. “Great. Thanks for the chat, I - “

“That’s not what I’m trying to say! I’m - “ Aaron cuts off with a frustrated noise, and Alex finally looks over, surprised when he sees Aaron with his eyes closed, his hands folded in his lap, but shaking slightly.

“Aaron?”

“When I went on my first voyage,” Aaron starts, eyes still closed, “I didn’t know anyone. I hadn’t even met Bellamy yet. I was lonely, and I was angry, and I was full of a desire to rise above my station and be the best crew member on that ship. And while I didn’t know it at the time, those were things that made me an easy target."

Alex furrows his brows, not following. “An easy target? What do you - “

“Also on that voyage,” Aaron continues as if Alex hadn’t spoken, “was a man named William Patterson. He was older than me, more experienced, more impressive. And I was...intrigued.”

Alex doesn’t say anything at that, but he feels a chill start to creep over him, unsure if he wants to hear the rest. But Aaron takes a deep breath and keeps going.

“Patterson took me under his wing, I guess you could say.” Aaron’s mouth twists at the words. “And I was grateful for it. I followed him around everywhere. And he taught me a lot of what I know. How to manage the sails, how to tie knots, how to fight. I was desperate to learn everything I could from him, to prove myself. And Patterson knew that. And he took advantage.”

Alex’s mouth has gone dry, but he swallows. “What do you mean?”

Aaron opens his eyes and turns slightly, catches Alex’s gaze and smiles, but his eyes are distant, almost glazed over. “Exactly what you think I mean.”

“Aaron, you - “

“But I wasn’t stupid,” Aaron says, and his eyes come back into focus, and his jaw tightens. “I knew what Patterson wanted. And I knew what I wanted. I had to learn all of those skills. So I...it became routine after a while. Bearable. It was...I was…” Aaron’s words falter, and then he startles when Alex places a hand over his where it’s still resting on his lap.

“S-sorry,” Alex stutters out, moving to pull away, but Aaron tangles their fingers before he can, grip tight, and Alex stares at him.

“ _I’m_ sorry,” Aaron tells him. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Alexander. You remind me of me from that voyage so much. And if I’ve ever...if you feel like you have to - “

Realization of what Aaron is trying to say slams into Alex, and he grips Aaron’s hand even tighter.  “You haven’t done anything that I haven’t wanted,” he says quickly. “You’re not taking advantage. It’s different, Aaron, it’s completely different.”

Aaron shakes his head. “But I’m in charge of you, Alexander.”

Alex scrunches his nose. “Don’t say it like that.”

“But it’s true.” Aaron’s eyes are wide. “I’m responsible for you. I’m…I’m supposed to be your mentor. I’m supposed to keep you in line.”

“Well, it’s not like you’ve really been doing that, so.”

“Alexander…”

“You know I’m right.”

“That’s not the point.”

“You’re right,” Alex says, his voice coming out harsher than he means it to. “That’s not the point. The point is that I’m not mad at you for kissing me. I’m mad at you for treating me like shit afterwards! For saying I’m a mistake!”

“That’s not what I said! You aren’t a mistake. Kissing you was a mistake.” Aaron pulls his hand away and runs it over his face. “It wasn’t a mistake because it’s you. Or...not in the way you’re thinking. We just shouldn’t - “

“But why? _Why_ shouldn’t we? We’re friends, right? We like each other and – “ Alex stops there, a thought forcing its way into his head. “You do like me, right?”

Aaron gives him a long look, saying nothing, and Alex feels his nerves skyrocket.

“I mean, like….you _like_ me? It’s not just physical? Or I mean, if it is, that’s still flattering but I – “

Aaron reaches out to put a hand on Alex’s arm, effectively stopping his flow of words with the small touch. There’s a brief, deafening silence, and then – 

“It’s not just physical,” Aaron says, his voice so low that Alex has to lean in a little to hear. “I…” He trails off, seemingly unable to say anything more, and Alex sees his jaw clench and unclench.

“Then I don’t understand,” Alex says softly, and all he can do is watch as Aaron removes his hand, bringing it up to press the tips of his fingers against his forehead.

“I accept that you like me, Alexander,” Aaron starts, his voice still low. “And I do trust you when you say you’re doing what you want. And that’s why…it’s just…I think you want something that…that I can’t give you.”

“What does that mean?”

Aaron sighs. “Alexander…I need you to…to trust me when I tell you that this just can’t happen.” He gestures between them. “Not now. There’s just things that…that make it not right and I can’t…” He trails off again, and shakes his head. “We just can’t, okay? But it’s…it’s not because I don’t want to, because I do.” Aaron cuts off with a laugh. “And that’s part of the reason why we can’t.”

Things fall silent after that, and Alex blinks at Aaron a few times, trying to process everything that he’s just said. It doesn’t make sense, not completely. Alex still doesn’t understand, but he can tell by the way Aaron is tensing up, by the way he’s turning away, that any more questions will just make him shut down.

So Alex nods to himself, and reaches out a hand to place it gently on top of Aaron’s again.

“Okay,” he murmurs, waiting until Aaron looks at him to continue. “I won’t lie and say that I understand, but…okay.” He chews at his lip as Aaron stares at him, and then he can’t stop his lips from curving up as he thinks of something. “But after this whole things is done, and if we both feel the same way, you’re not getting rid of me this easy.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You said not _now_ ,” Alex tells him, feeling smug for catching onto that detail of Aaron’s speech. “And I will accept that. But after all of this, once we get back to Montressor and you aren’t my mentor or whatever, then I won’t accept any of this _‘it wouldn’t be proper’_ shit. Deal?”

Aaron groans. “Why do you have to make everything so difficult? I’m trying to tell you that this - “ he gestures between them again - “is too complicated.”

“That just sounds like a sorry excuse to get rid of me.”

“It’s not! Or maybe it is. I don’t know. But I’m not....it’s not because...I’m not trying to be mean, or selfish, I’m - “

“And that’s why this is different,” Alex says. “You’re not Patterson. You’re not trying to trick me or take advantage.”

Aaron stares at him, jaw tight, and then his shoulders slump, and he shakes his head. “I just need you to trust me.” He laughs after saying that, and shakes his head again. "As crazy as that is," he murmurs, "I need you to trust me."

“I do,” Alex tell him, because that’s the whole point of this conversation. He trusts Aaron. Although he guesses that doesn’t really mean much if he doesn’t prove it. “Fine,” Alex mumbles. “We’ll keep things strictly platonic from now on. But...we can still be friends, right? Like we can still hang out?”

Aaron’s expression softens, and he laughs. “If you’d like to.”

“I would. I...do _you_ want to be friends?"

Aaron looks almost pained at the question, but he gives a jerky nod.

"Can you answer my question?"

“What question?”

“After all of this, if we still like each other, you can’t just run off. Do we have a deal on that?”

“Alexander.” Aaron sounds exasperated. “Why do you...what about Laurens?”

“What about him?”

“You two clearly like each other, if earlier is anything to go off of, so why don’t you just - “

“I don’t like John,” Alex cuts in quickly, cheeks heating at the memory of Aaron catching them. “I mean, he’s my best friend, but that...it’s just physical, with us.”

“Does he know that?”

Alex’s face heats even more. “I...just answer my question.”

Aaron’s eyes trail over his face, and then he’s looking away, staring out in front of them. “Sure,” he says, voice quiet. “After this voyage, if you still like me, then we can try.”

“Don’t sound so upbeat about it,” Alex says, and he knocks his shoulder against Aaron’s playfully, and then frowns when that gets no reaction. “Aaron?”

Aaron hums, and then he looks over at Alex, blinks at him a few times. “Sorry,” he says. “I don’t...tell that story very often.” He clears his throat, and tries to smile. “I am sorry about today, Alexander.”

Alex nods, returning the smile. “I know. It’s okay. I had a good cry, I’m fine now.” He rolls his eyes when Aaron’s expression turns guilty. “Don’t worry about it.” Then he shivers when a gust of wind hits them, making the sail flap wildly in front of them. "So are we...are we okay?"

"Isn't that my line?"

Alex laughs and shrugs. "I think it's both of our lines. I'm... _I_ think we're okay. So..."

"Then we're okay," Aaron tells him, and they smile at each other. "We're friends."

"Yeah."

There's another gust of wind, and Aaron chuckles when Alex shivers again. "Let's get down."

Once they’re both on the deck, they stare at each other for a moment before simultaneously making their way back down to their room, both of them lost in their thoughts as they descend the stairs.

“Alexander.”

Alex turns, catching sight of Aaron standing in the doorway, looking uncomfortable.

“Could you...what we talked about, what I told you, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t discuss it with anyone else.”

Alex blinks at him. “Of course I won’t.” He gives Aaron a small smile. “I’m great at keeping secrets. And I...thanks, by the way. For telling me about everything. I mean...not thanks, I guess. Like it wasn’t a good thing to hear. But I mean...I’m glad you felt like you could tell me.”

“You’re welcome,” Aaron says with a smile, but his eyes are glazed over again, as if he’s not really present. “Now, we should sleep. It’s late.”

Alex feels like he should say something else, like he should comfort Aaron in some way, but before he can give it any real thought, Aaron is already walking over to his cot and lying down.

So Alex does the same, dimming the light coming from the lanterns before spreading out onto his own cot, breathing out slowly through his nose.

The room is quiet, and Alex can’t get comfortable no matter what position he lies in. He knows that he must be making a lot of noise with all of his moving, so he stops with a small huff, but then it’s too quiet again, no sound coming from Aaron’s side of the room.

And maybe that’s what’s so strange.

Aaron is usually moving around, too. Ruffling the sheets or flipping over, maybe even snoring occasionally. But right now there’s only silence.

Alex pushes himself up and squints through the darkness, thinks he can see Aaron lying prone on his back, not moving.  Sighing, Alex sits up and grabs for the lantern beside him, lighting it again and waiting for light to fill the room.

Alex quietly makes his way over to Aaron’s cot, and they stare at each other for a few moments before Alex sets the lantern down and then crawls beside Aaron, lying down next to him.

“I thought we were going to be strictly platonic from now on,” Aaron murmurs, one side of his mouth lifting up into a smile.

“Shut up,” Alex tells him, and he goes to maneuver Aaron onto his side, wanting to mimic the position they’re usually in when Aaron is comforting Alex, but Aaron stops him, eyes wary.

“I don’t....I don’t like people being behind me, not being able to see them.”

Alex swallows, but he nods and lets Aaron settle onto his back again, and then he shifts closer and throws an arm over Aaron’s chest, pressing his face against Aaron’s shoulder. And  Aaron sighs, but his arm comes up to wrap around Alex’s back, palm resting on his shoulder blade.

“Can I ask you a question?” Alex asks, voice slightly muffled.

Aaron laughs. “Sure.”

“What happened to Patterson?”

Aaron is silent, but Alex thinks he hears him swallow.  “The last time I saw him,” Aaron starts, “he gave me these.”

Alex pushes himself up to see Aaron trailing the fingers of his free hand over the scars on his face that go from his temple to the corner of his mouth.

Alex reaches his own hand out to touch the scars, and Aaron watches him. “And what did you give him?” he asks, already suspecting what the answer will be.

Aaron breathes in deeply. “He trained me to be a good shot. Even with just one working eye at the time, I knew I wouldn’t miss.”

Alex doesn’t know what he thought he would feel at Aaron’s admission. Discomfort, maybe. Or fear. But instead he feels nothing but satisfaction.

He smooths his fingers over the scars one more time before nodding and resting his head on Aaron’s shoulder again, listening to Aaron breathe, and becoming more and more aware at how unsteady the breaths are. He  tightens his hold on Aaron, wracking his brain for something to say. “Did I ever tell you about the time I broke my wrist while running from the cops?”

There’s a beat of silence, and then Aaron laughs. “No, you didn’t.”

“Oh, well it’s a great story. I was twelve at the time. Not my first run in with them, either.”

“How rebellious.”

Alex hums. “I, as usual, was flying my solar glider in a restricted area. Because the restricted areas are always the best ones for flying.”

“That seems contradictory.”

“But true. Anyway, there I was, minding my own business, when suddenly, sirens are blaring, cops are shouting for me to land. And the sad thing is, I didn’t even break my wrist because of some amazing run-away stunt. I did land, and then I tripped over my own feet and fell on a rock.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope.” Alex smiles when Aaron laughs. “And if you think that’s embarrassing, just wait until I tell you about the time the cops caught me when I was fifteen.”

Alex launches into the story, trying to make it as exciting as possible without speaking too loudly, wanting to calm Aaron down. And by the time he gets to the end of the story, Aaron’s hand is resting gently on his back, and his breathing is slow and steady.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was an emotional rollercoaster.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading. Kudos are greatly appreciated, and comments fuel my motivation. Leave them here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies :D


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hurls this chapter into the void*
> 
> This chapter....was SO DIFFICULT to write for some reason. Bleh. Not 100% happy with it but I'm at a point where it needs to get out so that the story can progress.
> 
> Enjoy! x

The next couple of days pass without incident, which, after giving it some thought, is probably the best outcome that Alex could have hoped for.

Things between him and Aaron aren’t awkward, which he had been worried about after their fight and then their conversation that followed. Sure, maybe they give each other a little more space than they did before, but there’s also more of an ease between them when they _are_ in the same space, as if some kind of wall that had been standing between them had been taken down. 

They don’t share the same cot at night anymore, and while Alex finds that he has more trouble falling asleep on his own, the payoff is that Aaron and him eat breakfast together each morning. Before, Aaron had always seemed to make it a point to disappear before Alex woke up, clearly uncomfortable with the fact that they were sleeping beside each other. 

Aaron is more laid back now, too, quicker to share a smile with Alex, which probably has the opposite effect of what Aaron wants, because every time Aaron smiles at him, Alex feels his his stomach flutter, and is always sure that his face must be blushing pink in response. 

One of the things that still puzzles Alex is that, sometimes, he still catches Aaron frowning, still catches him looking so troubled and lost in thought that Alex always finds himself frowning, too. The last thing he wants to do is push Aaron to share more personal details, but he just doesn’t understand what could be making Aaron look so upset when Alex hasn't even done anything.

And while Alex is determined to get to the bottom of that particular mystery, his plans get postponed when Theodosia announces one afternoon that they’ll be making port the next day.

“We’ll land early in the morning,” Theodosia announces to the crew, “and then set off again in the evening, so those who wish to may spend the entire day out and about. However, those of you who are on their first voyage - “ she stares hard at Alex and his friends “ - will remember to stay in a group and not stray too far from the ship. I will not be happy if I need to waste time sending someone out to collect you.”

Alex feels a hand slip into his, and he turns slightly to see Eliza grinning at him. “This is perfect! We’ll be able to take you out for your birthday!”

“We’ll take on the town,” John says next, and he flings an arm around Alex’s shoulders. “Everything will be our treat.”

“Speak for yourself,” Herc says with a snort, but they throw a wink in Alex’s direction.

“You guys don’t have to -”

“Oh, be quiet,” Eliza tells him with a laugh. “We’re going out. It’s decided. Besides, we haven’t all hung out for more than an hour or so in a while. Things have been so busy.”

“Not to mention someone - “ Herc stares hard at Eliza “ - has been spending most of her time holed up in the Captain’s quarters.”

Eliza flushes red, but Alex can tell she’s fighting back a smile. “That’s rich, coming from you. How’s Bellamy?”

Herc just smiles and shrugs, and then John groans.

“No way am I hanging out with you two if you’re just gonna be mooning over your crushes the whole time.”

“Oh please,” Herc says, rolling their eyes at John. “Like you and Alex won’t be mooning over each other the whole time anyway.”

Alex’s face burns at that, and he forces himself to keep his expression neutral. From the way John clears his throat a few times instead of responding, Alex is sure that he’s feeling just as awkward as Alex is.

Ever since the...incident...between them, things have been a little strained. Neither of them talk about it, but Alex knows that John knows that he’s been leading him on, and Alex has known for longer than he wants to admit that John likes him as more than a friend. And he _knows_ that John must notice that Alex has a crush on Aaron. 

The other thing Alex knows is that he needs to talk to John about all of it. But he _doesn’t_ know if he’ll ever be ready for that conversation.

“Alex?”

He startles slightly, and turns to see Elizza staring at him with an expectant look.

“Huh?”

“Does that sound good? Celebrating your birthday in town tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Yes.” Alex puts a smile on his face. “Sorry, lost in thought.”

“Almost twenty and already starting to space out,” Herc says with a sigh, laughing when Alex kicks at them. “Okay, so it’s decided. We take on the town tomorrow. So, in the meantime…” Herc trails off with a smile and nods their head in the direction of where Bellamy is leaning against the side of the ship, throwing not so subtle glances in Herc’s direction. “I’ve got other plans.”

John groans again, but the sound is drowned out by Herc’s laughter as they walk away, and that’s when Alex realizes that everyone else has dispersed as well, and that Theodosia is no longer speaking, but is looking over something written on a sheet of paper with Washington, making Alex remember something.

“I’ll be right back,” Alex says, slipping out from Eliza’s and John’s grips on him, and then he trots over to where Theodosia and Washington are. “Er, excuse me?”

Both of them peer down at him, and Alex shifts on his feet.

“Yes, Mr. Hamilton?”

“Sorry, I just...I was wondering that if I wrote a letter, would there be somewhere for me to post it when we land tomorrow?”

“Of course,” Theodosia responds. “There will be a post office in town.”

“Awesome.” Alex shifts again. “And, er, well, do you happen to have any paper, envelopes, and stamps lying around that I could borrow so I can write a letter?”

Theodosia arches a brow at him, but her expression is lined with amusement, and Washington chucklest at her side.

“I’ll leave bring the materials to you,” Washington tells him. “Free of charge, since I hear it’s your birthday soon, anyway.”

“Ah, yes.” Theodosia gives him a small smile. “Miss Schuyler was saying you’ll be having your twentieth birthday. A good age, twenty. I was well on my way to becoming a Captain at twenty.”

Alex lets out a short laugh and tries to push back the feeling of self-consciousness that is threatening to creep over him. He knows Theodosia didn’t mean that as a dig to him, but it’s  almost impossible for Alex to not compare where Theodosia was at when she was twenty to where he currently is. They couldn’t be more different.

“Well, have fun tomorrow, Mr. Hamilton,” Theodosia continues, and she peers down at him. “But fun within reason.”

And Alex gives Theodosia a hasty - and most likely unconvincing - response before slipping away.

Later that night, Alex is sitting on one of the stools in the kitchen near the counter, finishing up his letter, when he hears the familiar sound of Aaron making his way down the stairs, and, sure enough, a few seconds later, Aaron appears, and he gives Alex a small smile that Alex is becoming very fond of.

“You ready for your big day out on the town tomorrow?” he asks, and Alex just laughs.

“Oh yeah, totally. Should be fun. But honestly my main focus is gonna be to mail this letter to my mom.” Alex straightens up and waves the letter in the air for Aaron to see. “I know she must be lonely, and probably losing sleep worry about me so much. Gotta let her know that I’m not dead in a ditch somewhere.” He chuckles a little at that, but Aaron just gives him a thin lipped smile before turning away and grabbing various food products to lay them out.

And Alex frowns, having caught a glimpse of the guilt that still creeps over Aaron’s expression whenever Alex says certain things. Over the past couple of days, Alex has learned to not pry, because it usually ends with an argument, but he can’t help but be curious. There’s still so much about Aaron that he doesn’t understand, even with the bits of progress they’ve made.

But he reminds himself that he just has to respect Aaron’s privacy. Even if it is extremely frustrating.

“Are you going into town? Cause you can always come with us and - “

“I have to stay,” Aaron interrupts, but he turns briefly to give Alex another smile, this one more genuine. “Someone has to guard the ship. Besides, I wouldn’t want to crash the party. You should have fun with your friends.”

“I thought _you_ were my friend.”

Aaron rolls his eyes before turning away again. “I am. That’s not what I meant.”

“What kind of friend doesn’t hang out with their friend on said friend’s birthday?”

Aaron groans, the sound drawn out and dramatic, and Alex thinks he hears Aaron mumble something under his breath.

“I can’t go, Alexander,” Aaron says more clearly a few seconds later. “And I’m not the only one. Maria, Bellamy, Thomas, and James are staying behind, too. Lee was supposed to as well, but Theodosia nominated him to help her and Washington escort the prisoners off the ship.”

That diverts Alex’s attention. “What’s going to happen to them?”

Aaron starts to chop the food he had laid out. “I imagine they will either be locked up or put to death.”

“That seems…” Alex searches for the right word. “Harsh.”

Aaron just shrugs. “Pirates know what is waiting for them if they ever get caught. Besides, these people had a hand in almost killing your friend. Do you really feel sympathy for them?”

Alex opens his mouth to respond angrily, but Aaron keeps going, not giving him the chance to speak.

“I doubt the death sentence will be the case for most of them. Years of hard labor is the more likely sentence. So don’t go doing anything reckless like helping them escape or something like that. There’s no point. They made their choice.”

“I wasn’t going to help them,” Alex mumbles, shooting a glare at the back of Aaron’s head when the man snorts in response. “I just....why would someone choose to be a pirate if it a likely outcome is prison or death? Doesn’t seem worth it.”

Aaron is silent for a few moments, and then - 

“Why did you go out on your solar glider all those times, even though you were threatened with repercussions, one of which included prison?”

Alex blinks at the question, thinking about the thrill he gets from flying through the air, and the weightlessness he feels whenever he’s high above everything else. He shifts on his feet. “I…” 

“Not to say the two things are remotely comparable,” Aaron continues, still chopping, “but there’s a sense of freedom that comes with both that I assume makes them irresistible. Being a pirate means being able to go anywhere, being able to chart your own path.”

Alex smiles at that, remembering all of the stories he loved to read as a child, how exciting it always sounded to go on adventures. Hell, he still feels that way now, being on an adventure himself at this very moment.

“All my favorite stories growing up were pirate stories,” Alex says with a small laugh. “So I guess the whole idea of it was tempting to me as a kid. There was one story, I’m sure you know about it, it was basically a legend, about Captain Hanover and his pirate crew, and the treasure they collected over the years.” Alex pauses there, remembering that he isn’t supposed to talk to about the fact that this voyage is to recover all of that treasure. “I had a storybook about him. I’d read it every night with my mom. I lost it in the fire, though. Maybe I'll be able to find another copy.”

Aaron’s chopping gets a little louder, but Alex sees his head dip into a nod. “I know the story,” he says, and then he’s silent for a couple of seconds. “I’m sorry about your book.”

Alex chuckles at that. “Don’t be, it’s not your fault.” He hadn’t really thought about the fire in a while, had almost forgotten about it, in a weird way. But now that he’s thinking about it, and all of the things that he lost as a result, Alex feels his stomach twist. He looks down at the locket his mom had given him, which he had laid out in front of him as he wrote his letter. “Is it stupid of me to feel homesick?”

Aaron doesn’t respond right away, but then he’s setting the knife down and turning to face Alex, his arms crossing over his chest as he leans back against the counter. “No. It’s not stupid.”

“Are you ever homesick?” 

Aaron’s expression twists briefly before smoothing over. “No,” he says slowly. “But you shouldn’t....you have something to be homesick for, Alexander. That’s not a bad thing.”

Alex fiddles with the locket, opening and closing it a few times, the hologram of him and his mother sputtering into view and then disappearing quickly.. “So it’s not...you don’t think it’s stupid that I miss my mom?”

“No.”

“Do you ever miss your parents?”

Aaron’s face twists again, but this time it’s more pronounced, and Alex thinks he sees Aaron’s jaw clench. “I barely knew my parents,” he says, and then he’s turning around again, resuming his chopping, the sound loud.

“You said they were naval officers, right?” Alex asks, trying to steer the conversation away from becoming too heavy. “Did they ever come across any pirates?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“Aaron, I just want to - “

“Change the topic, Alexander.”

Alex grits his teeth, but he doesn’t push the topic any further, even though he wants to. Sometimes Alex feels like he hasn’t actually made progress with Aaron. Sometimes it still feels like that first day they met, where both of them were hostile and suspicious of each other.  That line of thought makes Alex laugh a little, and he glances over at Aaron, whose shoulders are stiff as he continues to chop up food.

“There was another story I always used to follow as a kid,” Alex starts, his mind finally settling on something else to talk about, something that he hopes will break the tension. “Well, that I still follow, actually. Remember how when we first met, I accused you of being a murderous pirate cyborg? I’m sure you do. That’s probably hard to forget. Well, that person, Silver, I followed his stories like a rabid fan whenever they showed up. I had a box full of newspaper clippings about him under my bed. I - Aaron?”

Aaron had jumped back from the counter, knife clattering on the surface. And then Aaron is swearing, turning around as he clutches at his hand, which Alex sees is bleeding.

“Shit, did you cut yourself?” Alex hops up from his seat and rushes over to Aaron, taking his hand in his to inspect it. “Why did you do that?”

“Why are you assuming it was on purpose?” Aaron grits out, wincing when Alex twists his hand for a better look. “It’s fine, it’s not that deep.”

“Good,” Alex says, “‘cause if you needed stitches, I would not stick around to see. I’d throw up. But I can clean this for you, and wrap it.”

“Alexander, you don’t need to - “

“Oh, shut up.” Alex drops Aaron’s hand and goes to grab a clean towel and some bandages from beneath the sink. “I feel guilty. I shouldn’t have been blabbering on while you were wielding a knife.”

Aaron doesn’t say anything as Alex walks back over. He just watches as Alex grabs his hand again, wiping the cloth over the small cut that’s there. And when Alex glances up, he pauses his ministrations, Aaron’s heavy gaze distracting him.

“What?”

Aaron stares at him a beat longer, and then his eyes drop, and he shrugs his shoulders. “Nothing.” His eyes flick back up, and he grins. “Just making sure you aren’t about to throw up on me.”

Alex rolls his eyes, grabbing for the bandage and starting to wrap it around Aaron’s palm. He can’t stop himself from peeking at Aaron again. The man’s gaze is cast down, and the smile is gone from his face.

Alex clears his throat. “I didn’t mean to pry earlier,” he says. “With all the questions about your parents.” He feels Aaron’s hand twitch. “I just...I feel like you listen to me complain and rant all the time, so it seems only fair that you do the same. So, I mean...if you ever want to talk about it, then you can. With me. I just want you to know that.”

Again, Aaron says nothing in response, so Alex just keeps wrapping, tying the end of the bandage over the back of Aaron’s hand. But when he goes to pull his hands away, Aaron grabs at them, stopping him.

Startled, Alex looks up at Aaron just in time to see the man leaning in, and then, before Alex can really register what is happening, Aaron is pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth, lips barely brushing over Alex’s skin before they’re gone.

“What was that for?” Alex asks, feeling unsteady on his feet as Aaron’s hand comes up to run his thumb over the spot he had just kissed, the coolness of his metal hand making Alex shiver.

Aaron gives him a small smile. “For being too nice for your own good.”

“What are you - “

“I’m on watch tonight,” Aaron says, cutting him off and then stepping away. “You should get some sleep. We make port early in the morning.”

And before Alex can say anything else, Aaron is disappearing back above deck.

-

Everyone is high spirits when the ship docks the next morning, and Alex finds himself feeling much the same way, but he still can’t help but throw a wistful glance over his shoulder at Aaron and the rest of the crew who are required to stay on board. But then Eliza is taking his hand and tugging him along, and Aaron is lost from his line of sight.

After Alex posts his letter, the first thing his friends do is take him to a thrift store, because Herc has apparently been wanting to get Alex a new jacket for a while.

“Why does yours have so many pockets?” Herc asks as they browse one of the shops. “You look ridiculous.”

“It’s practical.”

“Ridiculous.”

Alex grumbles under his breath as they continue to browse, but he eventually gives in to Herc’s insistence, and he leaves the shop with a brand new jacket on, deep green in color and sporting what Herc deems an “appropriate” amount of pockets.

With his old jacket folded in his arms, Alex allows his friends to drag him over to a restaurant next, and John orders appetizers for everyone, and soon they’re all falling into conversation. If there weren’t unfamiliar streets outside the window, Alex would feel as if they were back home on Montressor.

“It’s crazy to think that we’re almost there,” Eliza says. “At Treasure Planet. I wonder what it will be like.”

“What if it’s like, super dangerous?” John asks. “I mean, no one has ever found it. There must be a reason for that, right?”

“Probably just cause they didn’t have the map,” Alex comments with a shrug, but John shakes his head.

“But...whole expeditions were lost. I mean, people went to find Treasure Planet and were never seen again. That’s why no one has been there in so long. It was banned to send ships out to investigate. The last one to ever go was like...I don’t know, ten or so years ago?”

Alex blinks at that. “Really? I didn’t know that. This is the first voyage to go out in ten years?” He grins. “Awesome.” He hadn’t thought this trip could get any cooler. 

“But what happens when we finally get there?” Herc asks. “Like...does anyone know if Hanover and his crew are still even there? Or like, alive?”

“Theodosia says that it’s most likely that they aren’t there.”

“Well, if  _ Theodosia  _ says,” John teases, yelping when Eliza elbows him in the ribs a few seconds later.

The conversation lags a bit after that because the food arrives, but Alex finds himself thinking about what Herc had brought up. Will Hanover and his crew still be there? That’s impossible, right? What’s the point of just staying on an island with tons of treasure? They must have wanted to go off and spend it,  or try and get even more, right?

And he’d really had no idea that expeditions to Treasure Planet had been banned due to an expedition never returning. What’s that about? He could understand people not being able to find it, but not being able to find their way back?

Alex swallows around the tightness in his throat, suddenly wishing he had said a few more things to his mom in the letter. What if something happens? What if  _ they _ don’t come back? What if - 

“Alex!” Eliza’s voice cuts into his thoughts, and Alex turns to see her pushing a bag towards him. “Your gift! I slipped away for a sec while you were trying on jackets.” She grins at him as he takes out the journal inside and sets it on the table.

“Wow.” Alex runs his fingers over the leather. “This is great. Thank you.”

“Gotta start keeping a log of all your adventures,” Eliza tells him. “And write everything down about Treasure Planet once we get there, since no detailed descriptions of it exist.”

“I didn’t know you slipped away,” John cuts in with a frown. “Why didn’t you tell me? Now I look bad for not getting a gift.”

“That’s not my problem.”

John sighs, but he catches Alex eye. “I’ll pay for the meal. And besides, my friendship is a gift in itself.”

Herc and Eliza both snort at that, but Alex holds John’s gaze and gives him a small smile. “That’s good with me.”

John looks a little surprised at the response, but then his expression softens, and he gives Alex a small nod before looking away. And then the eating resumes, and Alex finds himself smiling to himself for the remainder of their outing.

-

They return to the ship a little after sundown, and Theodosia gives them all appraising glances, clearly wondering to herself if they got into any mischief, but then Eliza goes up to her and the two of them immediately get lost in conversation.

Alex gives a hurried thank you and goodbye to Herc and John before scurrying towards the direction of the kitchen. Even though Aaron had a perfectly valid reason for not being able to accompany them into town, Alex still wants to be able to spend some of his birthday with the guy. He  is about to bound down the stairs when he hears voices, and he pauses at the top of the staircase to listen, his curiosity getting the best of him..

“ - a little too late for that, don’t you think?”

“I know.”

The second voice is Aaron’s, but Alex can’t quite place the first one. He’s still thinking about who it could be when Aaron starts talking again.

“I’m not saying we don’t go through with it. I just….there are…”

“Complications?” The other voice finishes, and then they laugh, and Alex realizes that it’s Bellamy. “Tell me about it. And listen, I am sorry about Herc and Alex finding out about me. It was stupid of me to use my powers for….well, for wooing purposes.”

Aaron snorts. “It’s safe to say that we’ve both been stupid. But don’t worry. It doesn’t seem like either of them will tell. Alexander hasn’t even told me.”

“Ooo, hasn’t even told  _ you _ . That really is something.”

“Bell...”

“What? Don’t try and act like you two aren’t close. You told him about Patterson, Aaron. That’s...that’s some heavy shit. You only told me cause I found you bleeding and half-out of your mind in an alley after you shot the bastard in the face.”

“I shouldn’t have told him.”

“But you  _ did _ .”

In the silence that follows, Alex tries to piece together what he’s heard. Clearly they’re talking about him - and Herc - and for some reason they’re worried? It makes sense in Bellamy’s case, Alex supposes. He just doesn’t like people knowing he’s a Morph. But with Aaron, why does he regret telling Alex about Patterson? Just because it’s so personal? Or - 

“Aaron,” Bellamy starts, cutting off Alex’s thoughts and sounding serious, “what are we going to _do_? Thomas is getting suspicious, and that’s not a good sign. And things are just so - “

“Don’t worry about it. We have time. I’ll...I’ll figure it out. In the meantime, keep your head down, don’t let it slip to anyone else that you’re a Morph. It’ll just complicate things more if people catch on or realize just how - ”

“I know.”

“Good.”

There’s a stretch of silence, and then Bellamy sighs. “Well, I’m on watch with Thomas tonight, so, I’d better head back up.”

“Try and talk some sense into him.”

“An impossible task,” Bellamy says, and they both laugh, and then there’s the sound of footsteps, and Alex, realizing he is about to be caught eavesdropping, springs away from the staircase and waits until Bellamy is out of sight.

He goes down the stairs slowly, brain trying to decipher the bits and pieces of the conversation he just heard, but none of it makes sense beyond both of them being worried about Bellamy’s secret getting out. 

But what really has Alex’s head spinning is that Aaron was talking to Bellamy about him. Is that a good thing? A bad thing? Bellamy had even gone so far as to tease Aaron about how close they are, which Alex supposes must be a good thing.

“Alexander?”

Alex blinks, not having realized he already made it to the bottom of the stairs. Aaron is standing near the counter, shirt sleeves rolled up and a grin on his face.

“How was town?”

“Oh. Fine. Good.” Alex goes over to the counter and leans against it, trying to keep his eyes from roaming over Aaron’s forearms. “Uhm, yeah. I had a good time. Got treated to some local food.”

“How decadent. Did you go shopping?”

“Yeah. Didn’t find anything, though. Or, well, Herc got me this jacket.” He looks down at himself, almost having forgot he was wearing it. "How was holding down the ship?”

Aaron - whose eyes had been trailing over Alex’s torso - flicks his gaze back up. “Not very exciting. Are you still hungry? I can make you something.”

Alex shakes his head. “I'll probably turn in soon, to be honest. Being twenty is already catching up to me.”

“Speaking of which…” Aaron trails off, and then he digs into one of his pockets, pulling out a small, black box. “Happy birthday.”

Alex blinks down at the box, and then at Aaron, not understanding. “What?”

Aaron laughs. “I managed to run into town really quick.” He opens the box and takes out a small golden chain. “For your locket,” he explains, when Alex still looks confused. “I know the chain broke during the fight with Adams, and how much the locket means to you, so I figured a new chain would be nice so you could wear it again.”

“Oh.” Alex still just stands there, mind trying to catch up to the fact that Aaron bought him a gift. That he took the time to sneak off the ship and go shopping for him to buy a gift for his birthday.

“It’s...it’s the best I could do on short notice,” Aaron says next, and when Alex looks at him, he sees the uncertainty that’s starting to creep over his face. “If you don’t like it, I can - “

“No,” Alex says quickly, and he steps around the counter so that he’s in front of Aaron. “I do. Like it, I mean. I...thank you.” He reaches for the chain, but Aaron doesn’t give it to him, just smiles instead.

“Do you have the locket?”

Alex reaches into his pocket, panicking for a moment when he doesn’t feel the smooth metal, but then he remembers that he’s in a new jacket, so he digs into one of the many pockets of his old jacket, and then shows the locket to Aaron.

And Aaron takes it from him and connects the chain to it. “Turn around,” he tells Alex, who follows the order. Then Aaron is looping the chain over his neck, his fingers trailing over Alex’s skin as he clasps the chain shut. “There.”

Alex touches the locket where it’s resting against his chest, and he slowly turns to look at Aaron. “Thanks.”

“Happy birthday.”

Neither of them speak after that, but Alex doesn’t move his gaze away from Aaron, who is just standing there, smiling casually as if he didn’t just do something incredibly nice that has Alex’s face flushing the more he thinks about it.

“You’re so...stupid.”

“What?” Aaron’s question comes out startled, and Alex gestures at his locket.

“You give me this annoyingly thoughtful gift and then just stand there,  expecting me to not want to just...kiss you. Stupid.”

Aaron blinks at him once, twice, and then he just snorts. “I’m very sorry for the hardship you are currently facing. I could take my gift back, if that would make you feel better?”

“No,” Alex says, and he curls his fingers around his necklace, which makes Aaron laugh even more. “Oh, don’t look so smug.”

“What did your other friends get you?” Aaron asks, not-so-subtly changing the subject. “Did their gifts make you want to kiss them?”

“Would it make you jealous if I said yes?” Alex says, his tone more hopeful than he means it to be. He sighs when Aaron doesn’t comment, and resigns himself to the fact that their conversation has gone back to casual. “Herc got me the new jacket, Eliza got me a journal, and John paid for the food.”

“And what about that book you were looking for? Did you find a copy?”

“Nah.” Alex shrugs. “Didn’t have time to do much searching. But I basically have the story memorized, so, it’s not a huge loss, I guess. It was more for sentimental value, than anything else.”

“You really liked it that much?” Aaron asks, giving Alex a long look when he nods in response. Then he breathes in deep, his eyes still on Alex. “Did you want to be a pirate when you were a kid?”

Alex can’t help but laugh at the question. “Of course I did. It’s like you said, I guess; being a pirate symbolized freedom, and adventure. So yeah, I wanted to be a pirate. What kid didn’t?”

Aaron’s mouth twists into a smile at that, and his gaze stays fixed on Alex for a few more seconds before flicking away. “And now?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you still want to be a pirate?” 

At first Alex thinks Aaron is messing with him, teasing him, but when the man’s eyes find Alex’s again, and his expression is serious, so Alex actually considers the question. 

“If you had asked me a few months ago,” Alex starts slowly, “I wouldn’t have hesitated to say yes. I mean...I haven’t exactly kept it a secret that I don’t have a stellar reputation in my town.” Alex scratches at the back of his neck, and smiles at Aaron. “So going off somewhere with no rules and nothing by sky in front of me? Sure. Sign me up.”

“But?”

“But,” Alex says with a laugh, “but now the idea of just running away and leaving my mom behind, leaving her behind with nothing, I don’t think I could ever do that. Especially when so much of what she has to deal with is my fault. I’m actually looking forward to going home. That’s pretty pathetic, huh?”

Aaron had turned away from him as he spoke, but he shakes his head slowly at Alex’s question. “Not pathetic, no. Expected. Most people would do anything for their parents, if they’re lucky enough to have the chance to do so.”

There’s a question on the tip of Alex’s tongue, but he bites it back, remembering the stony silence that occurs whenever he pries into Aaron’s personal life. But then Aaron glances over at him, and his lips twitch up into a slight smile.

“Ask,” he says, clearly able to tell that Alex is teetering on the edge of his decision to remain silent. “I won’t get mad.”

“Do you remember your parents?” Alex blurts out. “Or, I mean, is there...what were they like?”

Aaron is quiet for so long that Alex thinks he did still manage to get upset, but then Aaron sighs, and he tilts his head back, eyes staring up at the ceiling. 

“I was two when they...well...so, no, I don’t remember them. Sometimes I think there’s a blur of a memory, but…” Aaron shakes his head. “I think it’s a memory I just managed to make up after years of wracking my brain for one. All I know about them is from the stories that they left behind.”

“Stories? What do you mean?”

“They were very good at what they did,” Aaron murmurs, and he sighs again. “So I grew up hearing about all the great things they did as officers of the Royal Navy. At first it made me angry, because other people knew more about my parents than I did. Then that anger turned into desperation. Desperation to be just as good, to make them proud, to…” Aaron trails off, and Alex sees his jaw clench.

“They’d be proud of you,” Alex says softly, and he watches as Aaron lowers his head to look at him, expression doubtful. “They would be,” he insists. “I mean, how could they not be?”

Aaron laughs, the sound coming out almost choked, and he shakes his head again. “Let’s...let’s talk about something else.”

“But - “

“Please, Alexander.”

Alex huffs, but he presses his lips together. And then he purses them, giving Aaron a quick smile before rushing forward and wrapping his arms around him. When Aaron makes a startled sound, Alex laughs against his shoulder.

“Thank you for my present.”

“You already thanked me,” Aaron says after a moment.

“Just shut up and accept the hug, Aaron.”

There are a few more seconds where Aaron doesn’t react, but then one arm comes up to wrap around Alex, palm resting on his lower back. The fingers of his other hand tangle in the hair at the nape of Alex’s neck, keeping him close, and Alex has to bite back a smile.

They don’t say anything, but for once, Alex doesn’t mind the silence, because the silence is comfortable, nice, and Aaron is warm against him, and Alex can’t help but press a little closer, lips brushing slightly against the skin of Aaron’s neck.

And Aaron doesn’t pull away, like Alex expects him to. Instead he just shifts slightly, and tilts his head so that his lips brush against Alex’s cheek, and Alex knows that Aaron must feel the slight shiver that runs through him at the contact, but again, Aaron says nothing.

So Alex lets his eyes slip shut, and he tightens his group around Aaron just a little, not quite ready for the moment to be over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And next week, things get...explosive ;p
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated, and comments fuel my motivation. Leave them here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies! :D


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready y'all, this is a big one.
> 
> Enjoy x

“It’s not too late to back out, you know.”

Alex turns to glare at Aaron as he shrugs his jacket off and tosses it onto the deck. “Your moral support is astounding. Really, great pep talk.”

“My job is to teach you how to hold your own in a fight, not give you pep talks.”

“Well you should be glad of that, because you suck at them.”

Aaron just laughs, and then turns to walk over to Theodosia, who is standing a few feet away with Eliza at her side.

Eliza is standing tall, her hair pulled back and a sword in her hand. When she catches Alex looking, she flashes him a smile, chuckling when Alex sticks out his tongue in response. 

“Don’t be like that,” she calls out to him. “Be a poor sport once I actually beat you.”

“We’ll see how tough you talk after I win,” Alex shoots back, and he catches Aaron rolling his eyes, but Theodosia just looks amused.

“Okay, you two,” she says, clapping her hands together. “Enough chit-chat. There’s a fight to be had. So, if you two would be so kind as to get into the appropriate stance...”

Alex takes in a deep breath, but he does as Theodosia, says, facing Eliza fully - trying not to get distracted by the fact that Bellamy, Maria, Herc, and Washington have all gathered to watch - and he holds his sword out in front of him as Eliza does the same, a small smile still playing across her lips. 

Alex faintly hears Theodosia tell them to begin, his mind already whirring with the different techniques he could use to take Eliza down in the shortest amount of time possible.

They start to circle each other slowly, and Alex has one foot lifted off the ground in mid-step when Eliza lunges towards him suddenly, and he barely blocks her blow in time, stumbling back slightly from the force of it.

He’s tempted to look over his shoulder to gauge Aaron’s reaction, but he manages to realize in the last moment that would be a stupid thing to do during a fight, so he keeps his eyes on Eliza, mind cycling through the tactics Aaron taught him once again. 

He leans forward, aiming for Eliza’s exposed left side, but she blocks him easily and counters with a blow of her own, her sword tapping the top of Alex’s shoulder in a move that - if they were actually trying to harm each other - certainly would have done damage. 

“And round one goes to Eliza,” Theodosia calls out proudly, and Alex lowers his arm with a grimace while Eliza just grins and catches Theodosia’s eye.

“Alexander.”

Wincing slightly at the tone, Alex turns to face Aaron, who  is giving him a very unimpressed look.

“What?”

“What do you mean ‘what?’ I should be asking you that, because what the hell was that?”

Alex frowns. “I was trying to - “

“To lose as quickly as possible?” Aaron interjects with a raised brow. “You aren’t even watching her!”

“I am, too!”

“No, you’re not.” Aaron looks at him for a beat, and then crosses his arms. “What am I always telling you?”

“To shut up?”

“ _Alexander_.”

Alex sighs loudly. “To stay on the defensive as long as I can so that I can watch them and learn their stance and their pattern.”

“And what were you doing instead?”

“Thinking of ways to strike her quickly.”

Aaron nods in a way that clearly conveys an 'I told you so' attitude. “Sword fighting isn’t a race. You need to conserve energy, and you need to adapt to your opponent’s style, especially when they are more skilled than you are.”

Alex wants to comment on Aaron’s once again less than stellar motivational speech, but he chooses to just nod instead, knowing that Aaron _is_ right, as usual.

He turns to face Eliza again with a deep breath, both of them quickly falling back into fighting stance. Theodosia calls for them to begin, and, once they start to circle each other, Alex focuses on Eliza’s movements instead of his own thoughts.

Her steps are quick and light, but Alex notices that when she lunges forward to try and attack, her left foot lifts off the ground slightly and extends behind her, putting all of her weight on her right foot. Alex watches twice to make sure he’s right, and then the third time, he blocks Eliza but also pushes back on her sword with all his strength, grinning when it throws Eliza off balance, her left foot coming down too fast and at an awkward angle.

Taking advantage of the small window, Alex whirls his sword to the her other side and taps her quickly on the hip, leaping back when Theodosia calls for them to stop.

“Second round goes to Mr. Hamilton,” she says, sounding disappointed, but Alex’s grin only widens, and he turns to look at Aaron, who gives him a small nod, his lips twitching up into a smile. 

“Don’t get cocky,” Eliza calls out, causing Alex to glance over at her. “One more round to go!”

“I’ve got your pattern down now!” Alex calls back. “This’ll be easy.”

But of course nothing in Alex’s life is ever that simple, and Eliza quickly adapts to Alex’s new technique, and, while it takes longer than the first time, she ends up winning the final round.

“I wanna rematch,” Alex grumbles immediately after, but Eliza and Theodosia only laugh.

“Perhaps another day,” Theodosia tells him, "but for now, it is Hercules’ turn to go against my pupil.”

Herc glances up at the sound of their name, and holds up their hands. “I don’t have any interest in having y’all watch me get my ass handed to me by Eliza. Can I just forfeit?”

“See!” Alex says. “They don’t want to. Let me go again! Or Herc can go against Eliza and I’ll go against Aaron!”

Bellamy laughs loudly at that, and then claps a hand over his mouth a few seconds later. “Oh, I’m sorry, were you being serious?”

Maria is laughing, too, and she shakes her head at Alex. “I’d love to see that fight. I vote Aaron would have you knocked out in two seconds flat.”

“I’ve beaten him before,” Alex tells them defensively, cheeks heating as they laugh again.

“Throwing your sword at me doesn’t count,” Aaron says from behind him in amusement, and Alex just huffs. “Stand to the side and watch your friends. You’ll learn something from it.”

Still grumbling, Alex moves to stand beside Aaron as Herc goes up to face Eliza, Washington following behind them.

“Don’t let my pupil’s demeanor fool you,” Washington says to Eliza with a grin. “They’re better than they’re letting on.”

“Go Herc!” Bellamy calls from his spot. “Remember what I taught you!”

“No fair!” Eliza says with a laugh. “They’ve been getting help from two teachers!”

Herc opens their mouth to respond, but then pauses, a frown forming on their face, and that’s when Alex feels it, too; a slight rumbling beneath his feet, and a sudden pick up in wind. 

“What is that?” Herc asks, and everyone stands silently, glancing around, and the next thing Alex knows, the whole ship is shaking, and he goes crashing right into Aaron as shouts of surprise echo around the deck.

Aaron steadies Alex, but his eyes aren’t on him, and are instead focusing on something behind him, his eyes widening, and Alex can see his metal eye working to zoom in on whatever he’s looking at.

As another rumble shakes the entire ship, Alex turns to follow Aaron’s gaze, and his eyes latch onto something in the distance, something bright and pulsing.

“The star Peulsa,” Eliza says, her voice full of awe and fear. “It’s...I think it’s going supernova!”

While Alex doesn’t fully understand the technical aspect of what that means, he can tell that it isn’t good.

“We need evasive action now, Mr. Bellamy,” Theodosia calls out. “Take the helm and get us out of here!”

Bellamy doesn’t even respond, just runs across the deck as quickly as he can, stumbling slightly as the ship continues to get rocked by waves of heat and energy coming from the imploding star.

There are more shouts, more confusion, but then Washington’s voice is carrying over all the noise.

“Fasten your lifelines!” he yells. “Everyone, fasten your lifelines immediately.”

“Lifelines?” Alex asks, looking back at Aaron. “What does - “

Aaron grabs him by the hand and tugs him across the deck, weaving them in and out of the crowds of people scurrying in the same direction. Then they’re stopping just as quickly, and Alex watches - his mind still trying to catch up to the situation - as Aaron loops a length of rope with metal hooks attached around Alex’s waist, clipping everything in place before doing the same to himself, the other ends of the lifelines connected to one of the larger masts on the ship.

“Alexander. Alexander.” Aaron shakes Alex by the shoulders to get his attention. “Listen to me. Follow any directions given to you. Do not do anything you are not told to do. Do you understand?”

“I...yeah.” Alex blinks a few times, and glances around them. “I...we’re going to be okay, right?”

Before Aaron can respond, Theodosia’s voice is calling out again, and everyone stops what they’re doing to give her their full attention.

“Mr. Jefferson,” she starts, securing her own lifeline around her. “Gather the crew members you think are most up to the job and go to the cannons. We will need to shoot debris out of our way as the outer layer of the star explodes. Mr. Washington, secure the sails. We can’t risk being battered by the wind and get drawn off course. The rest of you will assist Mr. Washington with this, and do it quickly. We don’t have time to lose. Miss Schuyler, you stay with me. Tell me everything you know about supernovas.”

Alex catches the beginning of Eliza launching into an explanation, but her voice is drowned out as people scatter to their designated areas, and as another wave hits the ship, causing people to stumble and shout.   


“Secure the sails!” Washington’s voice booms, and Alex startles slightly, but he heads towards one of the masts, starting to clamber up.

He stops midway to look out at the star, the light so bright now that he can’t stare for too long. The swaying of the ship is stronger, too, and Alex has to grip tightly to maintain his balance, his hair whipping wildly around his face.

“Keep going!” a voice calls below him, and Alex looks down to see Aaron climbing towards him. “Go, Alexander!”

Alex nods, and he continues to pull himself up until he can climb out onto one of the spreaders, legs dangling off either side as he starts to fumble with closing the sails, Lee and Herc joining him moments later as Aaron goes to the other side.

They get the first sail down with no problem, and it’s much the same with the second and third, but by the fourth, the ship is rocking intensely, and Jefferson is shouting out commands to shoot the cannons almost every ten seconds or so, and the noise is making Alex’s head pound, and his palms are sweating. It's getting hard to focus. But s omehow they still manage to unfurl the final sail despite Alex having an almost out of body experience the whole time.

As he’s climbing down the mast, only about halfway down, he hears Jefferson give another shout.

“Prepare for impact!”

There’s a brief second of nothing happening, and then a loud boom. The ship lurches violently to one side, and Alex’s grip falters. His heart stops momentarily as he starts to fall, but then he’s hitting something solid, and that slows him down for a moment until he’s falling again, but this time with someone else’s arm wrapped around him.

There’s a rush of wind around him, a muffled curse in his ear, and then he hits the ground. Or, technically, Alex lands on top of whoever caught him.

Once he catches his breath, Alex pushes himself up, and his eyes land on Aaron, who is wincing and grabbing at one of his legs.

“I-I’m sorry,” Alex stutters out, quickly moving closer to Aaron. “I didn’t mean to fall! I - “

“It’s fine,” Aaron tells him, and he bends his knee with another wince. “I’m fine. I meant to land like that, my leg can take it, unlike your head, which would have been the other outcome. Here, help me up.”

Alex clambers to his feet and then pulls Aaron up, keeping a grip on him just in case his leg can’t hold his weight. “Thanks, by the way,” he says when Aaron seems to be okay.

And Aaron just smiles down at him. “Any time.”

The moment is broken by a sound coming from the supernova that Alex can’t quite explain, and then startled yells coming from different areas of the ship. Him and Aaron both look out to the horizon, watching as the star flashes and pulses, light and blasts of heat coming off of it as the sound coming from it grows louder.

“Captain!” Washington yells out. “The star! It’s devolving into - “

“ - a black hole!” Eliza finishes, and her eyes grow wide. “We’re going to be pulled in, we’re - “

Another wave slams into the ship as the outer layer of the star continues to get blown off, and Alex falls to the ground, Aaron hefting him back up moments later and keeping his fingers curled around Alex’s bicep.

“Blast these waves!” Theodosia grits out. “They're too erratic!”   


Alex sees Eliza’s expression perk up at that, her jaw dropping.   


“No, Captain,” she says breathlessly, and then she’s tapping at her watch, a hologram of the star popping out of it with heat signatures and a countdown. “They’re not erratic at all! Oh, I’m an idiot for not thinking of this sooner. There'll be another wave in approximately…” Eliza trails off, her eyes trained on the hologram. “One minute and thirteen seconds! Followed by the biggest wave of them all! This means that we can - “   


“Of course!” Theodosia cuts in, and she beams over at Eliza. “Brilliant, Miss Schuyler. We'll ride that last wave out of here. We’ll - ”   


“All sails are secured, Captain!” Washington announces as he makes his way towards Theodosia.

“Good man! Now release them immediately!”   


Washington blinks at Theodosia once, twice, and then claps his hands together. “You heard the Captain, unfurl those sails!”   


“You can’t be serious!” Jefferson shouts from where he’s standing. “They just finished tying them down, what are you -”

“Back to your station, Mr. Jefferson,” Washington growls, ignoring the glare that Jefferson shoots in his direction. “Captain’s orders. Unfurl the sails!”   


“And quickly!” Eliza adds. “We have to time this perfectly.”   


Everyone sprints into action at that, and Alex is following suit when Theodosia stops him.                     


“Mr. Hamilton, before you assist with the sails, I need you to make sure all lifelines are secured good and tight! This is not going to be easy, and we need to do our best to make it so that the lives of those onboard are at the least amount of risk possible. Understood?”

Alex swallows hard at the words, but he nods at Theodosia. “I understand, Captain.”

“Good. Check all the lifelines, and make sure the ropes are tied tight to the metal clasps attaching them to the mast. Double check after you check. This is of the utmost importance. Now get to it.”

Alex scurries off to where the lifelines are, blood thrumming with adrenaline, but also with pride that Theodosia trusts him enough to do this. And he can do this. He _can_.

He checks over the lifelines, securing any that look loose, and then he checks them again, tugging on each and every one until he’s satisfied that they’ll hold. And not a moment too soon, because the wave Eliza predicted crashes into the ship, causing Alex - and probably a few others - to fall to the deck and roll across it for a few seconds until things settle.

“One minute and thirteen seconds till the final wave!” Theodosia calls out. “Get those last two sails unfurled!”

Alex scrambles to his feet and runs over to one of the masts, climbing up as fast as he can, but just as he reaches the top and swings his legs over the spreader, Aaron is yelling at him to get back down. 

“We’ve got it! Get back down before the wave hits!”

“Not without you!” Alex shouts back, and he helps release the final sail despite Aaron’s grumbling.

He’s waiting for Aaron to make his way back over to where they can climb down, but then Aaron is wincing as he walks on his bad leg, and, as if in slow motion, he loses his balance and falls from the spreader.

Alex acts without even thinking, reaching out for the rope of Aaron’s lifeline and grabbing onto it, crying out as the rope burns his palms, but he doesn’t let go, not until he sees Aaron - who is now hanging in mid-air from his lifeline - swing his body weight closer to the mast so that he can grab on. Only then does Alex release the rope with a hiss, looking down at his bloodied hands.

“Fuck,” he curses harshly, but he scrambles over to the mast and starts to climb down himself, knowing that they’re running out of time.

His feet have barely hit the ground when Eliza yells -    


“Last wave in ten seconds!”                   


“Hold on to your lifelines,” Theodosia calls out. “It's gonna be a bumpy ride!”   


Alex doesn’t even have time to think before Aaron is crowding him up against the mast, his chest to Alex’s back, arms coming around him on either side to grip at the mast.

“Hold on,” he instructs in Alex’s ear, and Alex nods, wrapping his own arms around the mast, squeezing it tight.

Alex doesn’t even know how to describe what happens next.  There’s wind and light and heat, and the whole ship creaks and groans like its going to break apart. Then the ship feels like its hurtling forwards, rocking wildly from side to side, and Alex is suddenly very grateful for the feel of Aaron pressed against him. It’s the only thing that keeps him from going into a full blown panic. 

He squeezes his eyes shut as things seem to only get worse, and he has no idea how long everything lasts, and it’s only when Aaron is pulling away from him that Alex opens his eyes and looks around, blinking as he takes in the sight of people beginning to hug each other, wide grins on their faces.

“We did it?” Alex asks, and he clears his throat when his voice comes out raspy. His ears feel like they’re clogged.

“We did it,” Aaron tells him, and then he reaches out for Alex’s hands, flipping them so that his palms are facing up, torn and still bleeding. Aaron breathes out slowly through his nose. “You shouldn’t have done that, but...thank you.”

Alex laughs. “Better than the other outcome of you landing head first.” He smiles when Aaron chuckles, and then looks around again, relief filling him when his eyes land on Herc and John side by side, and then on Eliza, who is rushing over to Theodosia.   


“Captain! That - oh, my goodness. That was - that was absolutely amazing how you -”

“ _You_ were amazing, Miss Schuyler. Your astronomical advice, it saved us all.”   


Eliza’s face goes red, and she stammers out a thank you that Theodosia accepts with a smile before setting her eyes on Alex.

“And thank you, Mr. Hamilton,” she says. “You did a bang-up job with those lifelines. It seems Mr. Burr has taught you well.”

Alex beams at that, and Aaron nudges him gently with a smile of his own. Now that everything is over, and everything turned out fine, Alex is finally starting to take in what happened and how fucking insane it was. He’ll have to write about it in the journal Eliza got him, and send another letter to his mom. He’ll tell her everything, about Eliza’s plan and about how he finally did something right, and - 

“Now then,” Theodosia says, clapping her hands together. “Anyone who needs medical attention, please gather below deck. Mr. Madison will see to you. And Mr. Washington, could I get you to assist me in checking the ship for significant damages?”

There isn’t an immediate answer, and when the silence stretches on longer, everyone looks around.

“Mr. Washington?” Eliza calls out again, and she frowns when, again, there is no response.

Then there’s a murmur going around the deck, followed by a few gasps, and Alex turns to see Jefferson making his way through the crowd with something in his hands. He stops in front of Theodosia, his head bowed.

“I’m sorry, but…” he holds out his hands, showing Theodosia one of the metal clasps from the lifelines. “I found this without the rope connected, and I….I saw it happen. Mr. Washington went overboard. His lifeline wasn’t secured.”

Theodosia stares at Jefferson for a beat, and then she reaches out slowly to take the clasp from him, and then her gaze shifts, landing on Alex.

And Alex’s heart is thumping hard against his chest, his whole body going cold. “I...no. No. No, I - “ He stutters to a halt when more eyes land on him, Jefferson’s gaze particularly cold, his lip curled into a snarl. “I checked them all, I swear. They were secure. I...I didn’t, I - “ He stops again when he catches sight of Eliza, who is biting at her lip, her eyes flicking away when he looks at her.

Alex’s stomach sinks even more, and he can feel his hands shaking, and panic is clawing at him. It’s not possible. He checked. He did. They were all secure. It’s not his fault. It’s not, it’s not, it’s not, it’s - 

“George Washington,” Theodosia begins, her voice wavering, “was a remarkable man, who always garnered the greatest of respect. It...it was my honor to have him as my first mate, and it will always be my deepest regret to have...to have lost him in this way.”

Alex’s throat feels like it’s closing up, his vision swimming, and he stumbles backwards into Aaron, who says something to him that Alex doesn’t comprehend.

“But he would not want us to dwell on this dark moment,” Theodosia continues. “He would want us to carry on, and complete what we set out to do. And that is exactly what we _will_ do. So, everyone, about your tasks. Mr. Burr, I will request that you assist me in the inspection of the ship.”

People being to move, to go their stations or to help out, but Alex remains rooted to the spot, his body alternating between feeling weightless and feeling too heavy to move. People are still glancing at him as they walk, expressions ranging from sympathy to disappointment, making it clear that they all think it's his fault. That Washington is _dead_ because of him. He thinks someone touches his arm, says something to him, but his ears are ringing and the panic inside of him is starting to spill out, threatening to overwhelm him.

So he runs.

-

He doesn’t know how long he stays hidden up in the sails, but at a certain point Alex realizes he’s shivering from the cold and not just from trying to contain his panic.

The sky around him is dark, but he doesn’t pay it any attention, focusing instead on the length of rope he had found on the deck before climbing the mast. He isn’t sure if it is from Washington’s lifeline, but he had picked it up anyway.

He twists it between his hands, trying to understand what went wrong. How could this have happened? How could he mess up this bad? It had been such a simple job, and yet he had still managed to fuck it up. Because that’s really all he’s good for, isn’t it? The one thing he can always be counted on for is messing something up.  He’d really thought that this voyage would change things. Change him. But it’s only proved to him that he’ll never be able to do anything right.

The only thing that’s changed is that his mistakes have cost someone their life.

“Alexander.”

He jumps at the voice, looking down from his spot to see Aaron staring up at him with a wary light in his eyes, like he knows what’s going through Alex’s mind. For some reason, that makes him angry. He doesn’t need Aaron’s pity. 

“What?” Alex snaps out, turning his gaze back to the night sky in front of him. “Need me to mop the deck or do the dishes? That’s all I’m good for anyway, right? Cleaning and fucking things up.” Alex twists the rope in his hands again, feeling tears start to prick at the corners of his eyes, just like they have ever since he found out about Washington. He hates how easily he cries. “Just leave me alone.”

Aaron sighs below him, and Alex waits to hear him walking away, but the night air is still and silent. “Alexander,” Aaron says again. “Come down here.”

“No.” Alex continues twisting the rope, barely even noticing how it’s starting to rub and burn at his already broken skin. “Go away.”

“Stop acting like a child,” Aaron bites out, his patience clearly already running out. “What happened today was unfortunate, Alexander, but you can’t control everything, you can’t-“

“Shut up!” Alex yells, looking back down at Aaron with a scowl. “Don’t tell me that what happened was an accident or…or some kind of small mistake. I messed up, okay? Me!” Alex slams a hand against his chest. “It’s my fault!”

“You couldn’t prepare for what-“

“Don’t you get it?” Alex interrupts, his voice still raised. He jumps down from his spot, landing in front of Aaron so he can glare up at him. “I screwed up, like I always do! I had a chance to prove myself, to do something right, and I…” Alex looks away, twisting the rope between his hands with a rough jerk. “I’m the reason Washington is dead. I can’t do anything. I’m just…” Alex bites his lip and shakes his head with a sharp laugh. “I’m useless.” He turns away from Aaron as he says that, not wanting him to see the tears that are slipping down his face. “Forget it, I’m-“

A hand wraps around his wrist, making Alex stop. He tries to pull his arm away, but Aaron’s grip is too strong. He reluctantly lets Aaron turn him so they are facing each other again, forcing Alex to look up at Aaron, meeting his eyes with a stubborn glare.

“You’re not useless,” Aaron murmurs, tugging on Alex’s wrist when he reacts with a disbelieving snort. “Annoying? Yes. But not useless.” He skims his thumb over Alex’s palm, his brows furrowing in concern when Alex inhales sharply through his teeth at the tinge of pain that runs through him.

They both look down, taking in the angry red marks sticking out against the skin of Alex’s palms. The rope is hanging loosely in Alex’s other hand, and he lets Aaron take it from his grip without a fight.

“What happened today,” Aaron continues, looking down at the section of rope for a brief moment before tossing it over the side of the ship. “It was unfortunate, but it could have been stopped by a number of people.”

“But it was my job to secure the ropes.”

“It was,” Aaron agrees, holding both of Alex’s wrists now, inspecting his palms more closely. “And you are the reason everyone on this ship right now is still here. You did good, Alexander.” He looks back up, giving Alex a small, sad smile. “Soon you’ll learn that you can’t always save everyone. Life doesn’t work that way.” 

“Well it should,” Alex says, shivering a little as more tears fall. “And I should have noticed the rope wasn’t secure. I should have been able to stop it. I should have double-checked – triple-checked - everyone’s lifelines. I should have done _something_.” His voice cracks on the last word, and he tries to turn away again, but Aaron still doesn’t let him. “Aaron...”

“I’m not letting you go until you calm down,” Aaron tells him firmly. “Listen to me, Alexander. You followed instructions, and you did your job, but there are some things you can’t control.” He moves his hands to cup Alex’s face. “This was one of those things.”

Alex squeezes his eyes shut as a sob wracks his body. He tries to focus on the feeling of Aaron’s hands on his skin, the metal of his hand cool against his cheek. “I let Washington die,” he gasps out. “I k-killed him. It’s my _fault_.”

“No,” Aaron hisses, shaking Alex gently until he opens his eyes to meet Aaron’s gaze, the other man’s eyes blazing with some emotion Alex can’t place. “You have no idea what happened in that chaos."

"But Jefferson said he saw it happen! He saw Washington fall because he life-line wasn't - "

"Forget about what Jefferson said," Aaron snaps, and his voice comes out so angry that Alex flinches slightly. Aaron takes a deep breath through his nose, his thumbs smoothing over Alex's face.  "Anything could have caused his rope to snap or come loose. You did everything you could, Alexander, like you always do.”

“I messed up, like I always do. I shouldn’t be here, I – “

“No,” Aaron cuts in, not letting Alex interrupt him again. “You’re stubborn and reckless, and you make mistakes, Alexander, just like the rest of us. But your actions today showed none of that.” Aaron tilts Alex’s face up, gaze searching for something. “Alexander, this one day, this one moment, it isn’t going to ruin the rest of your life. You’ll learn from it. You have a fire inside of you, and it might seem unruly right now, but you’ll learn to control it and turn it into something great.”

Alex feels a tiny thrill at Aaron’s words, but it disappears just as quickly, leaving him feeling empty. He sniffles, wipes at his nose as he takes a few deep breaths. “But how?” He asks, blinking back more tears. “I don’t know how to start. I don’t...”

“You’re already on your way,” Aaron murmurs, his thumbs brushing over the tears slipping over Alex’s cheeks. “Chart your own course, and stick to it. No matter what, you stick to it. When you do that, no will be able to stop you from showing what you’re really made of. And when that happens,” Aaron pauses, running his fingers through Alex’s hair before tucking a strand behind his ear. “I hope I’m there,” Aaron whispers, letting his hands drop. But he keeps his eyes on Alex’s. “I hope I’m there, catching some of the light coming off of you that day when you prove me right.”

Alex’s eyes shut again, Aaron’s words washing over him, overwhelming him. He’s not sure if he believes any of it, but he _wants_ to. He wants to believe he can be something like that one day. He wants it more than anything. He needs it to be true. He needs to know that he can come back from this. But he just doesn't see how that's possible.

Alex leans forward, his forehead coming to rest against Aaron’s chest as he lets out a few shaky breaths. He thinks he feels Aaron stiffen, but Alex just moves closer, wrapping his arms around Aaron’s waist and breathing him in. 

After a few moments, Alex feels Aaron’s arms wrapping around him, his touch gentle and unsure, like now he’s suddenly uncomfortable even after the words he just spoke. But then he squeezes, and Alex hums at the contact. He wants time to just stop here, wants to hide in Aaron’s arms and not face anyone when the sun comes up tomorrow. God. How will he face Theodosia? She must hate him. Everyone must hate him.

“You should go to sleep,” Aaron says, breaking the spell of comfort that had descended over them. He nudges Alex away gently so they’re looking at each other, and nods towards the stairs. “You’ve had a long day.”

“Will you come?” Alex asks, trying not to sound too hopeful. But he feels his shoulders slump when Aaron shakes his head.

“I’m on the first shift for night watch.”

“Then let me stay with you,” Alex pleads. “Please. I won’t...I’m not sleeping anyway. Just...let me stay up here.”

Aaron stares at him for a beat, but then he nods. “Fine. I need to clean your hands, anyway. I brought up some supplies.”

“They’re fine, you don't have to - “

“Alexander.” Aaron leads him over to a bench and gently pushes him down onto it, and sits beside him. “Let me see your hands.” He doesn't phrase it as a request.

Alex gives in, watching as Aaron pulls out a cloth and ointment from his pocket, dabbing at Alex’s palms in slow, careful motions. Neither of them speak, and Alex does his best to swallow around the tightness that’s still in his throat, not wanting to make Aaron deal with more of his breakdown.

“I talked to James,” Aaron says a few seconds later, “and he said that you should keep your hands wrapped for a few days and apply ointment in the morning and evening. Your hands will heal up in no time.”

Alex just shrugs at that, not really caring either way. So what if his hands don’t heal? Maybe he deserves that. He should be the one whose lifeline wasn’t secure. Not Washington. Washington was respected and admirable and made a name for himself. And now he’s dead. All because of him, a stupid kid who was well on his way to being put in jail for trespassing and amounting to nothing. He knows that everyone on board must think find that ironic.

“You saved me, you know,” Aaron says as he wraps Alex’s left hand. “If you hadn’t grabbed onto the rope, I wouldn’t have survived that fall.”

“You wouldn’t have lost your balance if I hadn’t crashed into you and made you hurt your leg,” Alex counters back.

Aaron’s movements falter at his words. “Alexander, that’s - “

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Any of it. I just…” Alex shakes his head. “I don’t want to talk.”

Silence falls between them again, Aaron moving on to wrap Alex’s other hand. When he’s done, he still says nothing, but Alex can feel Aaron staring at him.

He shifts a little under the weight of Aaron's gaze, and after a few more seconds, his eyes flick up to Aaron. “What?”

Aaron searches Alex’s face, and then he shakes his head slowly. “I just...I wish you could see what I do when I look at you.”

Alex lets out a disbelieving laugh at that, but Aaron’s hands move up to Alex’s face, fingers trailing along his jaw before moving to his chin, tilting Alex’s face up a bit so their eyes are locked.

“I mean it,” Aaron tells him softly. “Alexander…”

“What do you see?” Alex asks, hating himself a little for asking. He doesn’t deserve kindness from anyone right now, or any kind of validation, despite how much he craves it.

Aaron slides his hands back up so he’s cupping Alex’s jaw. “I see you,” he says, leaning in slightly. “And I can tell that you’re going to do great things. That you’re going to be great. You’re going to be _amazing_.” Aaron smiles at him, but his eyes are completely serious, and then he’s moving even closer.

Alex parts his lips just as Aaron’s mouth meets his, the kiss soft, Aaron’s hands cradling his face, and Alex’s newly bandaged hands rise to rest against Aaron’s chest.  He thinks he feels Aaron smiling under his lips, but then Aaron is pulling away, causing Alex to sway forward slightly, his eyes fluttering open to find Aaron gazing down at him.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to sleep?” Aaron asks him, running his thumb over Alex’s lower lip. “You look exhausted.”

It takes Alex a few seconds to register Aaron’s question, but when he does, he shakes his head. “I don’t want to sleep,” he admits softly. He knows that he’ll have nightmares if he actually manages to sleep. “I just want to stay here.”

“Okay. Then we’ll stay here.” Aaron leans back against the bench with a nod.

Alex laughs, the sound watery. “I didn’t mean we have to stay  _ right _ here. Don’t you need to walk around and observe things?”

“I can observe just fine from here,” Aaron tells him, and then he pauses, staring at Alex for a beat before leaning forward to shrug off his jacket. He holds it out to Alex. “Here. You’ve been shaking since I found you.”

Alex is thinking of declining the gesture, but Aaron gives him a look, so Alex takes the jacket and puts it on, the warmth enveloping him immediately. But then he realizes he never picked up his own jacket in all the chaos. He has no idea where it is. So much for Herc buying it for him.

For some reason, it’s that thought that makes Alex start to tear up again. He can’t even receive gifts like a normal person. Somehow he managed to mess even that up.

Alex laughs again, but it gets caught in his throat, and then a sob is escaping him before he can stop it. He brings a hand up to his face for some semblance of privacy, his breathing shaky.

“Alexander...”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Alex whispers. “Please. Just…” He trails off with a shake of his head, his other hand coming up to hide his face as he tries to steady his breathing.

Then there are hands on him, maneuvering him gently so that he’s lying down on the bench, his head in Aaron’s lap. And Aaron drapes one arm over Alex’s chest, holding him close while his other hand goes to Alex’s hair, fingers scratching against his scalp.

Alex breathes in and out slowly, his own hands moving to clutch at the arm draped across him, needing something to ground him.  He stares up at the sky, warm tears still leaking from the corners of his eyes and running down into his hair.

But still Aaron doesn’t say anything, which Alex appreciates more than he can say. He can’t talk about it anymore. He can barely even think about it without feeling like he’s being torn apart.

So they just stay there together in silence, Aaron carding his fingers through Alex’s hair as he cries. Eventually, Alex feels his eyes slip shut, exhaustion beginning to overcome him. He thinks he can hear Aaron humming softly to him, and Alex finally manages a small smile at the sound before falling fully into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure supernovas don't work like that, but hey, it's a work of fiction in another universe and i make all the rules.
> 
> ANYWAY. Things were getting too good for Alex, had to throw in some angst ;p
> 
> As always, thank you for reading. Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation, so leave em here or on my tumblr @fanciful-follies (or both! :D )


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS ONE IS SO LONG
> 
> But I ain't sorry
> 
> Enjoy x

When Alex wakes, he finds himself under a warm blanket, far more comfortable than he had been when he’d fallen asleep. There’s also the familiar feeling of something firm beneath his cheek. Not a something, Alex realizes after a few seconds, but a _someone_.

Alex pushes himself up slightly, blinks the sleep away from his eyes as he looks his surroundings. Aaron must have carried him downstairs at some point. Alex peers down at Aaron, who is also awake and staring back at him with badly concealed concern, reminding Alex all over again of what had occurred yesterday.

“I’m fine,” Alex croaks out before Aaron can ask, pushing himself up further until he’s sitting.

Aaron follows suit seconds later, looking unconvinced. “It’s okay if you’re not,” he starts. “It’s okay if - “

“I’m fine,” Alex snaps, guilt taking place of his anger when Aaron raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Just...I’m fine, okay? We don’t need to talk about it.”

“Okay,” Aaron says softly, and then he’s getting off the cot, standing up with a sharp wince, a hand going down to his leg, which makes Alex feel even more guilty. He must catch Alex’s expression, because Aaron quickly switches his own to a smile. “It’s an easy fix. I’ll have Bellamy help me later. Don’t worry about it.”

Alex just mutters under his breath in response as he stands, and Aaron sighs before grabbing something off the ground and holding it out to Alex, who realizes it’s his old jacket.  He frowns at it, remembering how he lost Herc’s gift cause he’s really just _that_ useless, but then Aaron is coming closer, smiling at Alex as he puts the jacket on him when Alex remains motionless.

“This one suits you,” Aaron tells him, and Alex snorts.

“You told me I looked ridiculous the first time you saw me in it.”

“Well it’s grown on me.” Aaron smooths his hands down Alex’s arms, pausing when he reaches his hands. “You should change those bandages.”

Alex follows his gaze and shrugs. “I will later.”

“Alexander, you - “

“I don’t need you hovering over me like this!” Alex says, voice rising without him meaning it to. “You don’t need to...to be extra nice to me or whatever.”

Aaron stares at him, but after a moment, he nods. “Fine. Just…” he sighs and crosses his arms. “Just don’t coop yourself up down here all day, okay? Come up and do my walkaround with me.”

The idea makes Alex’s stomach drop, and he shakes his head. “Everyone will stare at me, I don’t...I don’t want to.”

“They won’t,” Aaron says. “And if they do, I’ll put them in the brig.” He gives Alex a small smile. “Prolonging it will just make it worse, Alexander.”

Alex can’t help but laugh at that. He can’t imagine things getting any worse. But eventually he nods, knowing Aaron is right. Staying down here all alone will just make him feel worse “Fine. Let’s go.”

They ascend up the stairs together, Aaron taking longer than usual and trying and failing to cover up his wincing whenever he puts weight on his metal leg. When he sees that, the guilt swirling in Alex’s stomach almost overwhelms him and convinces him to retreat back downstairs, but then they reach the deck, and, now in the sight of other people, Alex refuses to be seen running away. It would be too embarrassing.

“Okay,” Aaron starts, turning towards him. “Let’s - “

“Aaron!”

They both turn to see Maria hurrying over, a strange expression on her face. “We need to talk to you.”

“We?” Aaron asks, and Maria motions over to the side of the ship where Bellamy and Jefferson are standing, Bellamy fixing Jefferson with an angry look, which seems to be having no effect on Jefferson, who is just standing there smirking. “Is it urgent?”

“Yes.” Maria shifts on her feet, eyes flicking over to Alex before leaving just as quickly. “Very urgent. And, uhm, private.”

Aaron gives Maria an almost exasperated look before turning to Alex. “Just give me a moment.”

Alex shrugs in response, watching as Aaron and Maria walk away. Bellamy immediately starts talking once Aaron reaches him, gesturing to Jefferson as he does, and Aaron expressions goes from annoyed to angry in the blink of an eye.

Curiosity piqued, Alex continues to watch, eyebrows rising when Aaron grabs at Jeffersons arm and says something to him, that has Jefferson smirking even more. But then Aaron’s grip must tighten, because Jefferson winces and then frowns, giving what is clearly an unwilling nod at whatever Aaron says next.

Alex is trying to figure out what could possibly be going on when someone calls his name, and he turns to see Eliza running over to him.

Remembering her expression from yesterday after it came out that Washington went overboard, Alex’s nerves spike. Is she going to be mad at him? Does she blame him? Does she hate him? Does she -

The wind gets knocked out of him when Eliza tackles him with a hug, her arms going around him and squeezing so tight that Alex actually has trouble breathing.

“Eliza, what are you - “

“I tried to find you yesterday,” Eliza says in a rush. “I looked all over for you, circled the whole ship twice, but I couldn’t find you!”

“Why were you - “

“I was so worried!” Eliza finally pulls back, but she keeps her hands on Alex’s shoulders. “I saw your face after everything happened with Washington.”

Alex flinches at the words, preparing himself for the worst, but Eliza just pulls him into another hug.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Eliza tells him. “Oh, Alex. It wasn’t your fault at all. You know that, right?”

Alex swallows around the tightness in his throat, and finally brings his own arms up to wrap around Eliza, returning her hug. “It feels like my fault,” he admits, prompting Eliza to hug him even tighter.

“Well it’s not. And I’m going to prove it to you.”

Before Alex can even ask what she means, Eliza is grabbing him by the arm and dragging him across the deck and down a set of stairs. Then they’re weaving down the hallway, turning left, and then right, and then stopping in front of a door that Alex, his eyes widening, recognizes immediately.

“No,” he says, spinning to look at Eliza. “No way! I don’t - “

“Too late!” Eliza says, and then she’s wrenching open the door and shoving Alex inside, following him in seconds later and locking the door behind them before leaning against it, leaving Alex face to face with Theodosia.

“Ah, Mr. Hamilton.” She stands from behind her desk, straightening her uniform. “Good. I’m glad you’re here.”

Alex doesn’t respond to that, his heart thumping uncomfortably. He can see that Theodosia’s eyes are red and puffy, even from a distance, and shame and guilt builds low in his stomach.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Theodosia continues, stepping from around the desk so she is in front of Alex. “I wanted to talk to you and let you know in certain terms that I, in no way, blame you for what occurred yesterday.”

Alex can only blink in response. He’s having trouble taking in air. Theodosia doesn’t blame him? But - 

“Events like the one that happened, you can never truly prepare for.” Theodosia gives him a small smile. “But you acted admirably. And you acted correctly. And while I of course regret what happened, and would do anything to have changed the outcome, I would not change putting you in charge of the lifelines, Mr. Hamilton. The rest of us are here because of you.”

“But…” Alex trails off and clears his throat, hands clenching at his sides. “But Jefferson said he saw - “

Theodosia scoffs, cutting off the rest of Alex’s words. “If it comes down to Mr. Jefferson’s word or yours, I am inclined to trust yours, Mr. Hamilton. So think back. You said yesterday that you were certain you checked every lifeline. Do you still stand by that?”

Alex finally takes in a breath, hesitating before giving a firm nod. “I...yes.”

Theodosia’s smile widens just a little. “Well, then, that matter is settled. We’ll say no more about it.”

Alex nods again, but then shifts on his feet. “I...I just want to...I would do anything to change the outcome, too. I’m...I’m sorry it happened. I’m really sorry.”

Theodosia stares at him for a long moment, but then steps forward and places a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Thank you,” she murmurs. “And I apologize if my reaction yesterday prompted you to think I blamed you. It...it was a great emotional shock, what happened. But thinking over everything, and discussing it with Miss Schuyler quickly helped me to realize there was no fault from anyone, not even myself. Instances like these...sometimes they just happen, and there is nothing that could have been done to stop them.”

Alex finally cracks a smile, and Theodosia nods at him before dropping her hand. “Thanks,” he tells her, and then he turns to Eliza. “You, too.”

Eliza grins at them both, her eyes slightly watery. Then she bounds forward and wraps Alex up in another hug. “Any time,” she whispers before pulling away. “Now, for the other reason I brought you here!” She winks at him and then looks over at Theodosia. “We’re getting close to Treasure Planet, so we wanted to go over the map with you and plan out some details.”

“Really?”

Theodosia chuckles. “Yes, really. Let’s have a seat, shall we?”

They all gather around Theodosia’s desk, Alex’s head still spinning a little with all of this new information. But when Theodosia places the small orb in front of him, Alex reaches for it instinctively, already twisting it and pressing at certain points to get it to open.

When the hologram of the map opens around them, Alex feels a sense of calm settle over him as he stares up at the depiction of their galaxy.

“How _do_ you open it?” Theodosia asks after they map out the rest of the path that remains in their journey. “I’ve watched you, but it looks like a different pattern each time.”

“Honestly, I have no idea,” Alex tells her with an awkward shrug. “I just.... _know_. It’s like my hands move without me even thinking.”

Eliza hums thoughtfully. “Maybe reading that book about Treasure Planet so many times made you absorb some secret knowledge that no one else has.”

“Secret knowledge of orb-shaped maps specifically,” Theodosia agrees seriously, but then she laughs, and Eliza joins in when Alex starts to pout. “Oh, don’t take that the wrong way! It’s a very good skill to have.”

Alex rolls his eyes, but he finds himself laughing along, too. He’s surprised at how relaxed he feels. Being able to help with the map is making him feel better.

“Anyway,” Theodosia continues. “It seems like we’ve secured the route to the planet, and that’s the best we can hope for. There isn’t any existing knowledge about the terrain, so we’ll all have to simply be on our guard when we arrive.”

“I have a question about that,” Alex says, remembering something John had mentioned a few days ago. “Is it true that ships have been sent out to find Treasure Planet before, but none ever returned?”

“Ah.” Theodosia shares a brief look with Eliza. “It is a rather complicated situation. Since the time murmings of Treasure Planet first started, three separate voyages have set out for Treasure Planet. The first was only a year or so after Captain Hanover disappeared. That ship returned.”

“What? It did?”

“How do you think we eventually managed to get the map?” Theodosia asks, and Alex blinks. He hadn’t thought about that. “It is a well believed theory that the first ship was intercepted by Hanover and his crew just outside the realm of Treasure Planet.”

“Outside the realm?” Eliza repeats, looking just as confused as Alex feels. “Why is that the belief?”

“Taking everything into consideration, it’s safe to assume that one cannot actually enter or land on Treasure Planet without the map, so it must be concluded that the first ship encountered Hanover in another area, perhaps when Hanover was searching for even more treasure. And then either one of two things happened; a fight ensued and a member of the Royal Navy got the map and kept it for themselves, or a member of Hanover’s crew crept onto the Navy ship with the map.”

Alex leans forward in his seat. “But why would a member of Hanover’s crew do that?”

Theodosia shrugs. “Either they were under orders, or simply wanted to escape the planet.”

“Is there a list of names of people on Hanover’s crew?” Alex asks, thinking back to when Seabury crash landed on Montressor with the map. Could he have been a crew member?

“Not that anyone knows of,” Theodosia says. “Hanover is the only name that people seem to remember. Anyway, the first ship returns with those still on board injured, and in the commotion, whoever had the map slipped away. A second ship was sent out a few years later, more prepared for an encounter, going off the directions given by those on the first voyage. That ship didn't return. A third was sent out, oh, maybe ten or so years ago in an attempt to find the second.”

“But that one doesn’t return either,” Eliza finishes, and Theodosia dips her head down into a nod. “And everyone on those voyages are assumed dead? That’s awful.”

“Wait a second,” Alex says, something striking him. “You said that most of the crew doesn’t even know where we’re going! They don’t know how dangerous this is, they - “

“Mr. Hamilton.” Theodosia holds up a hand. “This whole crew was briefed before the voyage the dangers associated with this particular voyage. They are aware of that aspect. And they will be rewarded greatly for their assistance.”

Alex leans back in his chair, feeling slightly abashed, but he still has one more question. “So...won’t you have to tell them where we are and what we’re there for once we land?”

Theodosia sighs. “The original plan was for myself, Mr. Washington, as well as yourself and Miss Schuyler to go ashore and find the treasure, while the rest of the crew stays with the ship. I believe that plan can remain the same, even with the loss we have suffered. I’m thinking I will brief Mr. Burr and Mr. Bellamy on the whole situation before we land, and have them come ashore with us. Unless either of you have any reason to not trust them with this.”

Eliza immediately shakes her head, but Alex finds himself pausing, thinking back to the conversation he overheard Aaron and Bellamy having. There are obviously secrets being kept.

“Mr. Hamilton?”

Alex startles slightly, looks up to find Theodosia staring at him. “Sorry,” he says, realizing he’s being dumb. Aaron and Bellamy wouldn't keep anything important from them. “Of course you can trust them. As long as you don’t tell Jefferson, then I don’t see any flaw in the plan.”

Theodosia laughs at that. “Then we are in agreement. Now, let me walk you through exactly what will happen when we land, and then you can be off...”

-

After his meeting with Theodosia, Alex is in much higher spirits. There’s still a weight on his shoulders over Washington’s death, but it isn’t crushing him like it was the night before. It’s manageable. He can breathe through it. The fact that Theodosia doesn't blame him meant more than Alex had expected.

“Hey! Alex!”

He turns to see Bellamy jogging over to him, something in his hand.

“Hey yourself,” Alex says when Bellamy stops in front of him. “What’s up?”

“Can you give this to Aaron?” He tosses whatever he’s holding to Alex. “It’s ointment for his leg.”

“It’s still bothering him?”

Bellamy snorts. “He _just_ went below deck to start working on it, was limping around all day. So just drop that off to him when you get a chance.”

“Why me?”

Bellamy laughs, and he winks at Alex. “Cause you being the nurse in this situation will be much more appealing than anyone else. He might actually use it if you give it to him.”

Alex blushes, but he laughs back, and then waves to Bellamy as he heads below deck, intent on forcing Aaron to take care of himself, especially since the guy had been so attentive to Alex last night. But when Alex steps into their shared room, he isn't expecting the sight that greets him, and he halts in his tracks.

Aaron is shirtless, the metal gleam of his arm catching Alex’s gaze before moving his eyes to the rest of him, taking in his bare chest and stomach. Alex swallows when his eyes land on Aaron’s hands, which are situated at the front of his pants, starting to unlace the fastenings. Alex takes a step back, not having meant to intrude, but his feet knock into a pile of plates, sending some of them crashing, and Aaron’s head flies up, his one eye flashing gold as his gaze latches onto Alex.

“I-I’m sorry,” Alex stutters, stepping away from the mess and glancing over at Aaron, who is watching him with a guarded look. “I didn’t mean to-to…I just, Bellamy said you were still hurting so I thought…” He trails off at the wary expression on Aaron’s face, unsure of why he looks so cautious. “Sorry,” Alex says again, not knowing what else to say, or what he is even apologizing for.

“It’s fine,” Aaron says slowly, but he doesn’t move. He’s stiff and uncomfortable looking, his eyes flicking away from Alex and staring at the wall with a weirdly guilty look. “I was just about to fix it.”

“Your…your leg?”

“Yes,” Aaron responds stiffly, turning his eyes back to Alex. “It…the fall knocked something loose, so...” He pauses, and Alex nods, and then silence falls between them.

Alex takes a small step forward, faltering when Aaron’s eyes snap back to him, still not understanding why the man seems so tense in his presence. “I…do you want me to help you? With your leg?”

“Help me?” Aaron repeats, and then he laughs, but the sound is humorless. “You really want to?”

“I...of course I do.” Alex stares hard at Aaron, trying to figure out what could have happened to change his mood so drastically from this morning. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t do that,” Alex says, and he steps closer to Aaron. “C’mon, talk to me. You're upset.”

Aaron’s jaw clenches, but then he sighs. “It was just a long day. I’m sorry.”

Alex hums sympathetically. “I saw you talking to Jefferson, does it have something to do with - “

Aaron's entire expression turns thunderous. “I do _not_ want to talk about Thomas,” he spits out, his hands clenching at his sides, and Alex holds up his own hands in front of him in a placating gesture.

“Something we’re both in agreement on, then,” he says lightly, and Aaron looks at him for a beat, and then his shoulders sag, and he manages a small smile.

“Sorry,” he says again, and makes a move as if he’s going to step towards Alex, but his leg buckles and he cries out, stumbling back and grabbing at the cot as he falls onto it. “ _Shit_.”

Alex quickly drags a stool over to the cot, plopping down onto it and giving Aaron a firm look as he opens his eyes to stare at him. “I’m helping. Just tell me what I need to do.”

Aaron stares at him a moment longer before letting out a long exhale through his nose. He finishes undoing his pants and gets them down his thighs and off entirely with a gratuitous amount of swearing before tossing them onto the floor. Alex wants to stare, want to let his eyes roam, but he’s not sure how Aaron would react to that in his current state of mind, so he keeps his eyes on Aaron’s face.

“There,” Aaron jerks his chin over at a box of tools beside the cot as he scoots to the edge. “I need you to tighten some of the screws that came loose.”

Alex nods and reaches for the box, holding up a wrench for Aaron to inspect, bringing it over when Aaron grunts out a confirmation. Once he’s settled back on the stool, Alex lets his eyes roam down to Aaron’s leg.

It’s made of the same silver material as his arm, starting right at his knee. It’s shaped just like any normal leg, and when Alex reaches out to touch, it’s cold and smooth, and Aaron jumps at the contact.

“Can you feel that?” Alex asks, wincing immediately at how stupid of a question that might come across as. But when he looks up at Aaron, the man just nods, looking slightly amused. “What does it…”

“It’s basically the same as any other part of my body,” Aaron says, apparently being able to guess how Alex’s question was going to end. “My arm and leg aren’t as sensitive, I guess, but I can feel with them.” Aaron huffs out an exasperated noise when Alex just continues to stare. “I know I can feel because I’m in a shit ton of pain, so if you don’t mind.” Aaron gives a pointed look at the wrench in Alex’s hand.

“Right.” Alex moves closer, his face probably red with embarrassment. He takes a deep breath, feeling weirdly nervous at being so close to Aaron when he’s so exposed.

“You need to calm down,” Aaron tells him, shifting. “Your hands can’t shake. If you fuck up my leg, I will kill you.”

“That’s not helping me calm down,” Alex mutters. He moves the wrench to a screw near Aaron’s knee that seems to be stick out, and he starts to turn it, biting at his lip when a small twinge runs up on of his palms, his injuries still acting up. 

Aaron makes a hard noise in the back of his throat at the initial contact, but then he falls silent as Alex continues to turn the screw back into place. “Where else?” Alex asks once he’s finished with that one.

“The other side of my knee,” Aaron murmurs. “And by my ankle.”

Alex nods and then hesitates, unsure if it would be okay to ask what he wants. “Is it…could you put your leg in my lap?” He chews the inside of his lip as Aaron considers the question. “It would help my reach. Less of a chance for me to fuck up.” He grins when Aaron rolls his eyes.

But then Aaron moves, lifting his leg up slowly and wincing as he gets it to lay across Alex’s lap. He doesn’t say anything when Alex gives him a small smile, closing his eyes instead.

So Alex continues, turning screws back into place and being as gentle as he can, hyperaware to every twitch and jolt of Aaron’s body. When he looks up at one point, Aaron’s entire expression is lined with pain. Alex pauses his ministrations, but Aaron shakes his head. “Keep going,” he practically growls, his voice tight.

Alex swallows before moving one of his hands to the skin above his metal knee, stroking over it with his fingertips and feeling his chest tighten at the soft noise that leaves Aaron. He continues the motion, hoping it will soothe Aaron while he finishes up with the last of the screws.

He’s so intent on his work that time passes quickly, and when he looks back up at Aaron after finishing the last screw, he’s surprised to see Aaron’s eyes open, staring down at him intently.

"What?"

"You're in a better mood."

Alex shrugs. "I talked to Theodosia. She...she was nice about...about everything. So, yeah." He smiles. "I feel better."

Aaron reaches down, his hand covering one of Alex's, their fingers twining together. "I'm glad."

They stare at each other for a few, long moments, the room suddenly feeling a little smaller, and Alex is hyperaware of how warm Aaron's hand is, but then Alex jumps slightly, remembering the reason he'd first come down.

“I have ointment for your leg!” He says rather loudly, digging into his pocket. “Bellamy gave it to me. Let me just…” He trails off and uncaps the ointment, rubbing it along the Aaron’s knee at the point where skin and metal meets. “All done,” Alex tells him, clearing his throat. He helps Aaron lifts his leg off of his lap, and watches in silence as Aaron inspects it, running his fingers down the surface and twisting at certain parts.

“Not bad,” Aaron says after a few more moments. He glances back at Alex. “Thank you.”

Alex nods in response, feeling a little smug at having been able to do it. Neither of them move, and after a while, Alex finds himself looking more and more closely at Aaron’s arm and leg, and he’s aware of the fact that Aaron is watching him watch.

“Can I…” Alex licks at his lips and tries to find the right words. “Is it okay if I…” The words are eluding him, and he gestures at Aaron’s arm instead, looking at him with a question in his eyes. When Aaron nods slowly, Alex reaches out and touches his arm.

He’s felt it before, but never longer for more than a second or two, and never this close up. Alex turns Aaron’s arm so his palm is facing up, and he trails his fingers down until he’s touching Aaron’s hand and fingers, almost surprised at how they move like real body parts. Although he supposes they are real for Aaron. The palm even has lines, and Alex traces them with a finger before releasing Aaron’s hand and moving his touch to Aaron’s shoulder, where metal meets skin.

“Does it hurt?” Alex asks, brushing over the section that separates the metal from the skin. There are scars there, but they look more surgical than some of the other jagged scars on Aaron’s body.

“No,” Aaron murmurs, his eyes on Alex’s face. “My shoulder is metal, too.” He smiles when Alex looks at him in surprise, his hand moving immediately to the skin over his shoulder and squeezing. It feels like a normal shoulder. “I’ve had a lot of operations,” Aaron explains, his voice quiet. “A lot of accidents that needed fixing. Remember I told you that some of my ribs are metal, too. Here.” He takes Alex’s hand and moves it lower so it’s brushing over his lower ribs. “The last three aren’t real.”

Alex lets his fingers skim over the skin, fascinated. He touches the scars over Aaron’s ribs, wondering where they all came from. “I...so I know the scars on your face and your eye came from...from Patterson, but...everything else, how did it all happen? And did you have to get such extensive operations? I mean, did it all have to metal or did you choose for that? And - “

“Alexander,” Aaron breaks in with a chuckle, holding up a hand. “One at a time.”

“Sorry,” Alex mumbles, feeling a little abashed, but he fixes Aaron with an expectant look, which makes Aaron sigh.

“I’m not going into the gritty details of each one,” Aaron starts. “The injuries were just...a result of the work I was involved in. Being part of a crew can be dangerous, especially when you first start out. I did shitty, dangerous jobs. And I got hurt. Not getting the operations I did would have meant making it harder for me to do the same jobs. So it made sense. Then it...” Aaron shrugs. “I got stronger, and I liked that. I got better jobs. I stopped getting beat to a pulp when I got into fights.”

“Fights? You? But you’re so...stoic.”

Aaron snorts. “Not when I was a fifteen year old kid.”

Alex laughs at that, and then realizes his fingers are still running over Aaron’s side. He’s about to pull away when he glances up at Aaron, who is just sitting there, watching Alex with a calm expression.

Instead of backing away, Alex finds that his hand just roams to Aaron’s stomach next, and he watches the muscles there twitch at his touch. Of course the guy has amazing abs. His other hand comes up next, and Alex watches his fingers trail over Aaron’s skin for a few moments, remembering for the second time that day that Aaron had kissed him last night. And it had been a good kiss. A kiss that Aaron doesn’t seem to regret, not based on the way he's watching Alex now.

“Is…” Alex has to pause and clear his throat, his face feeling very warm. “So there’s your arm and leg, your eye, your shoulder and ribs...is there anything else metal?”

Aaron shoots Alex a strange look, but his lips twitch up into a smile. “My left collarbone,” he murmurs, his eyes staying on Alex’s even as Alex moves one of his hands to said collarbone, tracing his finger over it.

And Alex can’t look away either, transfixed by the sudden warmth in Aaron’s eyes. He lets his hand trail down Aaron’s chest next, the smooth expanse of skin beneath his fingers almost overwhelming.

“I wish I had known you back then,” Alex says suddenly, smiling a little at the thought of  a fifteen year old Aaron, but Aaron just shakes his head. “What?”

“You wouldn’t have liked me,” Aaron tells him, and then he laughs softly. “I don’t understand why you like me _now_.”

Alex huffs. “I’m getting very tired of you questioning my tastes.” He stares at Aaron for a few moments, and only hesitates a second or two before standing up from his stool so that he can climb onto the cot instead, straddling Aaron in one quick move.

Aaron’s hands fly to Alex’s waist, a startled expression on his face. “What are you doing?”

“I want to kiss you,” Alex says, proud at how steady and confident his voice sounds. He rests his hands on Aaron’s bare shoulders, swallowing hard. “Can I?”

“Alexander…”

“You kissed me last night,” Alex points out. “So it’s only fair.”

“I shouldn’t have - “

“Don’t,” Alex cuts in. “Don’t say you shouldn’t have. Because you did. And you _should_ have. I enjoyed it. If you take it back now, or try and tell me it was a bad decision, I’ll assume you only did it out of pity, which would be really shitty of you, so.”

Aaron doesn’t say anything after that, just stares back at Alex with a cautious expression. But then he breathes out slowly, and his hands settle a little more firmly against Alex’s hips, holding him there.

“So, it wasn’t pity?” Alex asks, the nerves in his stomach calming down only to be replaced by nervous excitement when Aaron shakes his head.

“It wasn’t pity,” Aaron tells him, his voice pitched low, as if he’s scared of anyone else hearing the admission. “I kissed you because I wanted to.”

Alex swallows. “Okay. Well, I want to kiss you, too. Can I?” He asks the question again, still aware of the tension in Aaron’s shoulders that he can feel beneath his palms. He’s about a second away from moving off of Aaron when the man tilts his chin up, eyes locked on Alex’s.

“Are you still upset?”

“What?”

“About Washington,” Aaron says. “Are you still upset? I want to know if this is just - “

“I’m not upset. Or, I mean, I am, of course I am. But not...not because I blame myself. I’m just...sad.” Alex breathes out slowly and runs his hands across Aaron’s shoulders. “But I don’t want to kiss you because I’m sad. This isn’t...a distraction, or whatever you’re thinking it is. I just _really_ wanna kiss you. So, for the third time, can I? Please?”

Aaron purses his lips, clearly considering Alex’s request, and then he shifts, pulling Alex just a little closer, but making Alex’s pulse quicken all the same. “If you want to,” he murmurs, the words hanging between them.

Alex lets out a nervous laugh. “I think I’ve made that very clear. But if you don’t - “

“I do.” Aaron’s eyes flick down briefly before moving back to Alex’s eyes. “I mean...I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

“Wouldn’t be opposed to it,” Alex repeats, laughing a little. “What everyone wants to hear right before they make a move.”

“Is this you making a move? Because you’re being very slow about it.”

Alex narrows his eyes, but Aaron just smiles, his lips twitching up as his eyes move down again, and Alex feels a swooping sensation in his stomach as he really takes in the situation; he, Alexander Hamilton, is straddling the emotionally distant but very attractive Aaron Burr, who has just admitted to wanting Alex to kiss him.

Fighting back his nerves, Alex breathes in slowly through his nose a few times, but then he moves his hands to cup Aaron’s jaw, praying that the other man can’t feel him shaking. He bends down, closing the small gap between him and Aaron until their lips are brushing together.

The first kiss - if it can even be called that - barely lasts two seconds before Alex is pulling away, nerves still thrumming through him. But then he notices that Aaron’s eyes are already closed, his lips parted, and that spurs Alex forward again, capturing Aaron’s lips in a much more satisfactory second kiss.

It’s still gentle, still cautious, but Alex doesn’t mind in the slightest. It gives him time to get over his nerves and to get into the fact that him and Aaron are actually doing this, kissing. Kissing and not about to argue about it. Talking things through actually is worth it. Alex almost laughs at the revelation.

After a few more seconds, Alex realizes that Aaron - while certainly kissing him back - isn’t initiating anything, isn’t pushing things further, so Alex throws all caution to the winds at nips at Aaron’s lower lip, smiling when Aaron immediately parts his lips even more.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Aaron whispers against Alex’s mouth, but Alex can feel him smiling, too.

“I wouldn’t dare,” Alex whispers back.

He shifts closer to Aaron, runs his tongue over his lip next in apology, still smiling as Aaron hums into his mouth and moves his hands so that they are beneath Alex’s jacket, smoothing up his back over the material of his shirt.

And just like that, it’s like a flip is switched.

The kiss becomes deeper, more desperate, neither of them parting for air, and Alex's head starts to spin. It’s wet and warm, teeth scraping over skin, and Alex moans when Aaron finally licks into his mouth, their tongues touching again, and again, and again.

Aaron surges forward suddenly, almost knocking Alex off balance. He probably would have if he didn’t have his hands on Alex’s back, holding him in place. But his actions become more clear moments later when he starts tugging at Alex’s jacket.

Getting the message, Alex leans further away and shrugs the garment off, fingers flying to his shirt next, but he’s unable to stop the wince from appearing on his face when his hands - still bandaged from the day before - experience a flash of pain at the rapid movements.

Aaron’s fingers curl around his wrists, stopping him, and Alex panics for a moment, thinking that he’s ruined everything, but Aaron just gives a gentle squeeze before releasing Alex and moving his own hands to his shirt.

“Lift your arms,” Aaron tells him, eyes flicking to Alex’s, and he pauses. “I mean, only if you - “

“Yes.” Alex raises his arms, allowing Aaron to pull off his shirt, shivering a little when the air hits his bare skin. Then he leans back in, kissing Aaron hard and inhaling sharply when Aaron runs his hands down Alex’s back, the contrasting feeling of his metal hand and his other hand causing goosebumps to rise on Alex’s skin.

Aaron’s hands keep changing positions, moving from his back to his waist to his chest, and when his fingers dip below the hem of his pants, Alex can’t help but jerk his hips forwards, a whine escaping him when their erections rub against each other.

“Aaron,” Alex gasps out, breaking the kiss and resting his forehead on Aaron’s. He rocks down against Aaron again and bites down hard on his lip when Aaron groans low in his throat, hands tightening where they’re currently resting on Alex’s thighs. 

There’s a heat growing in Alex’s lower stomach, and it only spreads when Aaron shifts to press his lips to Alex’s neck, placing open-mouthed kisses right below Alex’s jaw.

Alex laughs, his breath stuttering when Aaron scrapes his teeth against Alex’s skin before biting down and sucking, making Alex moan and rut down again. “Knew you’d be good at this,” he says, eyes fluttering as they continue to move together. “God, Aaron. Fuck.”

Aaron says nothing, just moves to another spot on Alex’s neck and bites down again. He moves one hand to Alex’s hair, fingers tangling in it and tugging. His other hand rests on Alex’s lower back and he pushes them closer, his hips arching off the cot to meet Alex’s.

And Alex feels his cock twitch, the heat in his stomach growing even more. “ _Fuck_ ,” he breathes out again, moaning loudly when Aaron tugs hard at his hair. “I’m so hard right now, God. I - “

Aaron just sucks harder at his neck, and it hurts in the best way. That combined with another tug at his hair has Alex grinding down against Aaron with a frantic desperation, the friction feeling so, _so_ good.

“You’re gonna make me come,” Alex says over a whimper. “You’re gonna - “ He breaks off, mouth dropping open with a low moan, his hips stuttering as he comes, sparks of pleasure starting at his spine and going all the way down to his toes, making them curl.

He thrusts against Aaron a few more times, milking his orgasm for as long as he can before slumping forward, breathing hard.

Both of Aaron’s hands drop to Alex’s waist, and Alex can feel his breath against his neck, and then his lips are pressing another kiss to his skin.

“Just gimme a sec,” Alex murmurs, still aware of Aaron's own need pressing against him, “and then I’ll - “

“You don’t need to,” Aaron cuts in, and when Alex pulls back to look at him, the man isn’t meeting his eyes, and Alex frowns.

“Did I do something to make you - “

“I’m fine,” Aaron tells him, and he reaches out for Alex when he continues to frown, metal fingers curling around his wrist and squeezing. “I'm not mad,” Aaron says roughly, and he sighs as he moves his other hand to his face, looking tired. “I'm not mad,” Aaron repeats, softer this time, but Alex still doesn’t understand.

“If you’re sure…” Alex starts, unable to shake the feeling that he did something wrong. “Uhm.” He shifts on top of Aaron, becoming uncomfortably aware of the fact that there’s cum drying on his skin. “I need to clean up, so…” He jerks a hand behind him, intending to get up and wash off in private, but Aaron stops him with another squeeze of his hand.

“Let me do it,” he whispers, sounding almost like he’s pleading, which just heightens Alex’s confusion. He  can only nod, not knowing what else he’s supposed to say or do. He’ll do anything if it’ll make Aaron stop looking at him like that, like he’s done something to hurt Alex.

Aaron maneuvers Alex off of him and then crawls off the cot, and Alex, after getting over a momentary burst of embarrassment over the fact that Aaron is about to see him naked, gets his pants off and tosses them to the ground, scrunching his nose at the mess on his skin. He glances back up when Aaron returns, a wet washcloth in his hand. He pushes Alex onto his back and wipes the cloth over his lower stomach and thighs, cleaning him slowly. 

And Alex is scared to break the silence, so he just watches Aaron. Alex can see something occurring behind his eyes, can tell that Aaron is lost in thought, struggling with something. But then he shifts, dropping the cloth onto the ground before laying down beside Alex, a sigh escaping his lips as he tugs a blanket over them both. At least he isn't kicking Alex out of bed. That must mean Aaron really isn't upset. At least not with him.

Alex tries to lie still, but he’s restless, still feeling weird with how things ended. So he twists onto his side, staring at Aaron who is looking up at the ceiling with glazed eyes.

“What?” He grunts at Alex after a few more seconds. “Why are you staring at me?”

Alex opens his mouth, meaning to make some joke about how he just loves looking at Aaron, but then he switches gears. “I never said thank you,” Alex murmurs, hoping the words will get Aaron out of whatever funk he’s currently in. He waits until Aaron turns to him with furrowed brows. “For last night,” Alex clarifies. “For talking to me. For…for saying what you did.”

Aaron hums, his eyes skimming over Alex’s face. Then he smirks. “Wasn’t what just happened you thanking me?”

“Ugh,” Alex groans, smacking Aaron’s shoulder as his face heats up. “Come on. I was trying to create a sincere moment and you just made it gross.”

Aaron laughs at that, but then, just as quickly, his smile fades and he looks away. “You don’t need to thank me.”

“Why?” Alex asks, but Aaron remains stubbornly silent. “You’re sad,” Alex says bluntly. “I did something to make you sad.”

“I’m not sad.”

“You are.”

Aaron sighs and tilts his head to look at Alex, his jaw twitching. “You notice too much,” Aaron whispers, giving him a small smile before looking back up at the ceiling. “That’s all, Alexander. You just notice too much.”

“Is that bad?” Alex asks, nuzzling closer to Aaron and trying to get the man to look at him again. 

“Sometimes.” Aaron shifts on the cot and sighs again, but his arm tightens around Alexander, pulling him close. “Go to sleep, Alexander. Everything’s fine.”

“You’re not fine,” Alex grumbles, refusing to let this drop. “You’re being weird and twitchy.” He pokes Aaron in the side, giving him a pointed look when Aaron jolts at the touch. “Even before we...well...made out, you were being weird. So I know it's not just that. Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”

“Because it’s none of your business,” Aaron snaps out suddenly.

Alex flinches at the rise in his voice, and he keeps still as he watches Aaron’s eyes shut, his breathing short and loud. “Sorry,” Alex whispers.

“No,” Aaron murmurs, bringing his hand up to rub at his eyes. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t…just, don’t worry about it, okay?”

“Okay,” Alex agrees slowly, realizing that he’s crossed some sort of line with Aaron. He lets silence fall over them despite the urge to keep pressing, and is surprised when, a few seconds later, Aaron is the one to break the silence.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Alex laughs, and he fixes Aaron with a look. “I wouldn’t be _opposed_ to it,” he teases, and Aaron just rolls his eyes.

“Why…” Aaron trails off after that one word, his lips pressing together for a moment before he continues. “Why did you keep all those articles about Silver?”

“Uh…” Alex blinks, not having expected that particular question. “I don’t know. I just...thought the stories were interesting.”

“But why?”

“I guess because...because at the time I wanted to be him, you know? I mean, here’s this guy doing whatever the hell he wants, going wherever the hell he wants, and making a name for himself. Granted not a good name, but a name all the same. Plus - “ Alex cuts himself off, hesitating briefly. “ I mean, there were rumors that he was looking for some kind of clue as to where Hanover took all that treasure, and I was obsessed with that story, too, so.”

“You wanted to be him,” Aaron repeats softly, eyes staring off into space, but then he’s focusing on Alex again. “Past tense?”

“What?”

“You don’t want to be him anymore,” Aaron clarifies.

Alex gives a short laugh. “Well I mean, as a kid I didn’t really take in the fact that he was a pirate taking people hostage and killing people.”

“Naval officers take hostages, too,” Aaron cuts in. “They kill.”

“I…” Alex shoots Aaron a confused glance. “I guess, but...I don’t know. It seems different. Why are you asking me about this?”

Aaron stares at him for a few seconds, and then shrugs, settling into a different position on the bed. “I’m just trying to get to know you, that’s all.” It isn’t said convincingly, but Alex lets it slide.

“Can I ask you a question now?" Alex asks, and he props himself up so he can look down at Aaron, forcing the man to make eye contact. “How come you never joined the Royal Navy like your parents? You definitely could have. You're capable. And your name must hold some weight.”

Aaron breathes in, his chest expanding. Then he lets the breath out slowly. “I did apply,” he says, and Alex raises his eyebrows. “Right before I ran away. I was thirteen and I convinced them to let me take the entrance exam for the Naval Academy, even though you have to be eighteen to apply.”

“So you didn’t pass?’

“No, I did.” Aaron’s lips twitch, and his expression turns hard. “But I failed the behavioral exam. I was deemed ‘too volatile’ to be able to join.”

“Too volatile?” Alex repeats, not able to believe that. 

He observes Aaron, taking in his clenched jaw, and wonders if he still carries that rejection around with him today. Does he still consider himself to be volatile? Is he angry at himself for that? He’s always talking himself down to Alex, always taking attention away from himself, almost as if he’s punishing himself for something.

“Can I ask you another question?” Alex waits until Aaron nods, and then he places a hand on Aaron’s stomach beneath the blankets, fingers tapping against his skin. “How come you didn’t let me touch you?”

Aaron groans and he turns his gaze up to the ceiling. “Alexander…”

“I wanted to. _Want_ to. Present tense.”

Aaron shakes his head, and then turns so that his eyes are trailing over Alex’s face. “I wanted to make you feel good, so that’s what I did,” he says softly. “That’s all I wanted to do.”

“So it’s not because - “

“It has nothing to do with you,” Aaron tells him. “I think it was clear I was enjoying myself. I just didn’t want it to go any further than it did at the time, okay? You felt good, and that was enough. I was happy with that.”

Alex purses his lips, but he nods. “But next time?” He asks hopefully, fingers still tapping against Aaron’s stomach.

Aaron brings a hand up and runs his fingers over Alex’s lips slowly. “Next time,” he echoes.

Alex grins, and shuffles around so that he’s pressed close to Aaron beneath the covers. Soon his muscles relax and his mind calms down, and he can feel himself starting to slip off to sleep. It's amazing how lying beside Aaron helps him sleep so much better than when he's alone.

“Alexander,” Aaron whispers some time later, and Alex jolts, having been in that space between being asleep and awake.

“Hm?” Alex hums, realizing his eyes are closed. When he opens them, it does seem darker than before. How long had he been drifting off? He blinks a few times when he realizes a strange light is filling part of the room, and then he sees that Aaron has opened Alex’s locket, and is staring at the hologram of him and his mom with a pained expression. “What are you doing?”

“You love your mom, right?”

“I-what?” Alex rubs at his face, trying to wake himself up, but he feels so groggy. “What do you mean?”

“You would do anything for her,” Aaron says next, and his eyes move from the hologram to Alex’s face. “Right?”

“I...yeah, of course I would.”

Aaron nods, clearly having expected the answer. He smooths his hand across Alex’s chest, fingers fiddling with his locket. “I would do anything for my parents, too,” he whispers, his voice so quiet that Alex almost misses what he said.

He blinks at Aaron, eyes heavy, his mind working to catch up with the conversation. He moves a hand up to cover Aaron’s. “I’m sure they know that,” he murmurs. “And I’m sure they did the same for you.”

“Alexander, I need you to listen to me.” Aaron flips their hands so that he’s holding on tightly to Alex’s. “Everything I do is for my parents. Everything. Do you understand?”

Alex hesitates giving his response, not entirely sure what Aaron wants him to say. He chews at the inside of his lip, his gaze unfocused from sleep until he forces it to focus on Aaron’s face, taking in the jagged scars along his temple, over his eye and down to his nose.

Alex reaches out, his fingers brushing over them. “Course I understand,” he says, smiling a little. “It’s what any decent kid would do.”

Aaron stares at him, his free hand coming up to Alex’s face, cool fingers trailing over his cheek. “I just need you to remember that, okay?” He swallows, the noise discernable in the stillness of the night, and then he's closing Alex's locket, and darkness envelops them. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“’S okay,” Alex mutters, his eyes already slipping closed again. He shuffles closer to Aaron, seeking out his warmth. “I’m barely awake, anyway.”

“Sleep, Alexander,” Aaron tells him, his voice sounding tight. But he runs his fingers through Alex’s hair soothingly, distracting Alex with how nice it feels.

"You'll be here when I wake up?" Alex asks, his words slurring together.

"If you want me to be."

"I want you to be," Alex confirms, and he shifts so that he can press a kiss to Aaron's shoulder. "Want you to always be here when I wake up." He smiles at the thought, kissing Aaron's shoulder again and then pressing his face into the crook of Aaron's neck. Sleep starts to creep over him again, and the last thing he remembers is the feeling of Aaron touching him, and the soft murmur of Aaron saying something back to him that Alex is too tired to make out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated, and comments fuel my motivation, so please, please, please leave some here or on my tumblr @ fanicful-follies.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy x

A few days later, early in the morning, Theodosia makes the official announcement.

“Our destination is closing upon us,” she says, glancing around at everyone gathered on the deck. “From what the map is showing us, I’d say we have less than thirty-six hours until we land. In fact, if we give this last stretch all we’ve got, we could get there by tomorrow afternoon.”

Alex, who already knew about this information beforehand, still feels excitement run through him at Theodosia’s words. This is it. They’re actually going to get to Treasure Planet.  He’s been dreaming about this since he was a kid. He can’t believe he’s going to be stepping foot on it _tomorrow_.

“Our destination is uncharted territory,” Theodosia continues, “and I must caution you all to be on your guard when we arrive. As of right now, there are no plans to stay at the location longer than a day, if it can be helped. We will arrive, a select few will depart the ship, and then we will return to Montressor, where everyone aboard will be paid for their assistance and their dedication to this voyage. So, with all of that in mind, let’s keep things running smoothly until then! Everyone go on about your business!”

Alex barely manages to stop himself from letting out a “whoop” of celebration as Theodosia starts to walk away, but he does catch Eliza’s eye and give her a big thumbs up, which she just rolls her eyes to in response.

But Alex can’t help how excited he is.

He turns a few times, eyes searching the slowly dispersing crowds for Aaron, hoping to share his excitement with him. He spots him standing beside Bellamy, the two of them speaking to each other in what seems like an agitated manner.

Bellamy grabs at Aaron’s arm, says something to him with a frown, but Aaron just wrenches his way out of Bellamy’s grip, taking a step towards him to say something in response before turning his back on Bellamy.

And Alex watches it all happen from a distance, blinking at the strange display. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen the two of them fight, or even be angry with each other.

Bellamy stares at Aaron’s retreating figure for a few seconds, hands clenched at his sides, before turning and walking away himself. Alex only hesitates a moment before trotting after Aaron, who is disappearing below deck.

When he emerges in the kitchen, Alex sees that Aaron already has a bottle of whiskey out, and is pouring a generous amount into a glass in front of him.

“A little early for that, isn’t it?” Alex asks lightly, but he gets no response. “Aaron?”

“What do you want?”

The bluntness of the question makes Alex frown, but he walks over to Aaron anyway. “What’s wrong?”

Aaron snorts at the question, and then raises his glass to his mouth, taking a long drink from it before setting it down. “Nothing. I’m just not feeling well.”

“So the whiskey is medicinal?” The attempt at humor doesn’t work. Aaron doesn’t even look at him, just lifts his glass again. “Aaron, what - “

“Alexander.” Aaron slams his already empty glass down onto the counter, making Alex jump. Then Aaron breathes in deep. “I’m not in the mood right now, okay? I’d like to be left alone.”

The statement doesn't surprise Alex. After the night they'd kissed, Aaron had started to retreat again. He's been finding reasons to not spend time with Alex, and whenever Alex does manage to get Aaron to stay in the same space as him for more than a few minutes, the man is morose, barely contributing more than three words to the conversation.

At a loss as how to fix the situation they're in, Alex stares at Aaron and chews at his lip as he thinks. Does Aaron really want to be alone? Or is he just saying that and hoping Alex will actually stay? But then Alex takes in the tenseness of Aaron’s shoulder, and how he’s already filling up his glass again.

Alex takes a small step back. “If that’s really what you want…”

“It is.”

Aaron still doesn’t look at him, and Alex wants to stay, wants to make Aaron feel better, but maybe the best thing for him right now _is_ to be left alone, even if Alex might feel like it isn’t. He just needs to trust that Aaron will talk to him about whatever is bothering him when he’s ready.

So he nods to himself, and retreats back above deck.

-

“You’d rather make out with  _ Jefferson _ ?” Alex finds himself asking later that evening as he stares at Maria in shock as she just shrugs her shoulders casually. “But the guy is such a _dick_ , Aaron is way more - “

“Aaron is like a brother to me,” Maria cuts in, her nose scrunching. “Besides, you have to admit Thomas has a little something going on.”

“I do not and will not _ever_ admit that,” Alex says, making John and Herc, who are also sitting with them, snicker loudly. “Come on, would either of you make out with Jefferson?”

“Over Aaron? Yeah.” John doesn’t meet Alex’s eyes as he says this, and there’s a small frown tugging at his lips. But then he shrugs and laughs. “Although if there was a third option of just jumping overboard instead, I would choose that.”

Alex rolls his eyes, but Maria chuckles and then taps at Herc’s leg with her foot.

“And what about you? Who’d you choose?

“Please,” Alex says over a laugh. “We all know Herc has their eyes on a certain someone else.” He shoots a grin at Herc, smile faltering when Herc gives a pitiful attempt at a laugh, their hand coming up to rub awkwardly at their neck. “What?”

Herc shrugs a shoulder. “It’s...it’s nothing. Bellamy just hasn’t...he hasn’t been around much lately.”

“I’m sure he’s just busy, “Alex says after a beat of silence. He looks at  John, who gives a sympathetic grimace but says nothing, and Maria seems suddenly interested in observing her own fingernails. “You guys, uh, have a fight or something?” Maybe Bellamy is the one going through something if he’s lashing out at Aaron _and_ Herc.

Herc shakes their head, and then they laugh. “Sorry. I’m probably overreacting. Like I said, it’s nothing. He’s only been distant for a couple days. I’m just used to seeing him more often. But everyone is probably busy since we’ll be landing soon.”

“People do seem tense,” John adds. “Madison usually lets me help him out with medical stuff, but he kicked me out today.”

“Aaron was in a mood, too.”

“It’s like Herc said,” Maria cuts in, “everyone is just busy with preparation.” She gives them all a smile. “Once we actually get to the destination, things will…” Maria trails off there for a moment, but then she recovers. “Things will look up.”

Everyone is quiet after that, lost in their own thoughts, but after a bit, Alex sighs and tilts his head back, looking up at the sky.

“Well, I’d rather make out with Aaron,” he says matter-of-factly, and everyone laughs at the sudden return to their initial topic of conversation.

“Believe us,” John says. “We know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, for one thing, you hate Jefferson, and two, you had hickeys on your neck and _everyone_ knew who they were from.”

Blushing hard, Alex raises a hand to press his fingers to his neck, the bruises mostly faded by now. “Shut up.”

They all just laugh again, and then Maria is standing up. “Well, I gotta get some work done. I’ll see you all tomorrow, okay?”

It doesn’t take long for the rest of them to disperse after that, and Alex finds himself walking alone across the ship, still thinking about the weird moods everyone seems to be in when, suddenly, there’s a figure in front of him.

“Hello, ship rat,” Jefferson drawls. “All excited that our voyage is coming to an end tomorrow?”

Alex rolls his eyes, but he decides to humor Jefferson. “Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Jefferson shrugs, and then he grins. “I’m excited, too, you know. I’ve been waiting for this moment a long time.”

“Good for you,” Alex says, trying to step around Jefferson, but the man doesn’t budge. “Jefferson. What do you want?”

“I just want to have a friendly chat.”

Alex snorts. “Right. Somehow I doubt that.” Alex tries to leave again, but Jefferson physically stops him this time, grabbing him by the arm. “What are you - “

“I don’t like how you walk around this ship,” Jefferson tells him, his voice still light and pleasant, but his eyes are angry. “Like you own it. Like you actually matter. Which you don’t, even if Aaron does like giving you special attention.” Jefferson’s free hand rises, fingers trailing across Alex’s neck.

And Alex jerks back at the touch. “Let me go,” he says, proud at how steady his voice is.

Jefferson just steps closer. “I don’t care what Aaron thinks,” he continues, “or what he says. I think all you’re good for is taking up space.”

Alex stays still, doesn’t say anything back. He doesn’t know what exactly Jefferson is talking about, but his grip is tight around Alex’s arm, and his expression is growing angrier by the second. He needs to tread carefully, because this isn’t looking good.

“From my point of view, all you’re good for is making things complicated. I don’t have patience for complicated. And I have no patience for Aaron getting distracted.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I don’t need you to understand,” Jefferson tells him, his fingers going back to Alex’s neck, curling around it. “What I need is for you to be out of the way. So you’re going to come with me, quietly,  and we’re going to - “ Jefferson cuts off, his eyes moving to latch onto something behind Alex, confusion flickering across his face. “What is - “

Before he can finish, and before Alex can really comprehend what is happening, Bellamy is coming up behind Jefferson, wrenching him away and off of Alex, pinning him against the side of the ship within seconds.

“Am I interrupting something?” Bellamy hisses, his face lined with more anger than Alex has ever seen. He has one hand around Jefferson’s throat, squeezing tight.

“Bellamy, hey, it’s fine.” Alex steps forward and tugs at Bellamy’s shirt, noticing how wide Jefferson’s eyes are getting. “Bellamy, let him go!” He doesn’t need Bellamy getting into trouble on his behalf, even if he can still feel where Jefferson’s fingers were pressed against his own neck just seconds ago.

Bellamy doesn’t move. He just snarls and glares down at Jefferson. But when Alex gives another hard tug, he releases Jefferson and straightens up, fixing Jefferson - who is now kneeling on the deck and retching - with a disdainful look.

“Get up,” Bellamy tells him. “And stay out of my sight. Don’t think Aaron won’t hear about this, either.”

Jefferson scowls, but he clambers to his feet, and, with one last glare at Alex, stumbles away.

“What the hell was that?” Alex asks a few seconds later, still staring at Bellamy in shock. “You could have killed him!”

“He’s fine.”

“Bellamy…”

“He was trying to hurt you!”

“Well I’m fine!” Alex holds his arms out, hoping that will somehow show Bellamy that he’s uninjured. “And while I appreciate you stepping in, I also don’t need you getting in trouble because of me. It would suck for you to get thrown in the brig right before we land.”

“You sound like Aaron,” Bellamy says with a short laugh, but then his expression twists. He sighs, and he brings both hands up to run them over his face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Hey.” Alex takes a tentative step forward, smiling when Bellamy lowers his hands. “You didn’t scare me. I’m just...worried about you.”

Bellamy laughs again, and shakes his head. “You shouldn’t be.”

“Well, I am! I’m worried about you _and_ Aaron. You’re both being weird. He’s...he’s day drinking and barely even looking at me, your avoiding Herc and kicking Jefferson’s ass, which, okay sure, any other day I’d be happy about that, but everything just feels really weird right now. What’s going on?”

Bellamy doesn’t respond. He tilts his face up to look at the sky, and shakes his head again. Then he’s looking at Alex and stepping towards him, hands reaching out for Alex’s locket.

Alex startles a little at the movement, watching as Bellamy flips open the locket and the hologram of Alex and his mom sputters to life between them. But then it’s changing, showing Alex at the age he is now, running towards his mom and hugging her.

“What’re you…” Alex trails off, eyes drifting down to Bellamy’s hands, which seem to have a soft, pink glow around them, and then Alex understands. He’s using his powers. “Bellamy?”

“You have everything planned out,” Bellamy starts, his voice soft. “You know what you want, and who you’re going to see and what you’re going to do after this voyage is over.” His eyes are glassy, but he tries to smile at Alex. “I don’t. And that’s really all it is. I’ve never been more unsure of what’s going to happen. And Aaron feels the same, even if he won’t admit it.”

Alex blinks, trying to take in all of this information. They’re nervous about the voyage ending? About what will happen afterwards? “Well, you guys can come stay with me after the voyage," Alex tells him. "Eliza’s house is huge, and my mom and I will rebuild our Inn once we get paid, so you and Aaron can come! All of you can come. And Herc is always around so you’ll see them all the time and - “

Bellamy snaps Alex’s locket shut suddenly, and then he’s leaning forward and pulling Alex into a hug, which Alex returns after an initial moment of surprise.

“You’re nice,” Bellamy murmurs as he pulls away. “Too nice, sometimes.” He smiles at Alex and steps back. “I appreciate the offer. And if it somehow work out so that - “ He cuts off quickly, words stuttering to a halt. “Well, anyway. I go where Aaron goes. He’s like family to me.” Bellamy smile wobbles for a moment, but then he chuckles. “Plus I’ve never been much of a stay in one place for an extended period of time kind of guy.”

Alex nods. “I get that.”

“Yeah. Well, I’ll let you go." Bellamy stares at him, eyes tracking over his face for a few long seconds, and then he takes another step back. "See you tomorrow.”

Alex watches Bellamy leave, all of this new information swirling around in his head, just adding to the confusion that's been growing in him over the past couple of days. But then he sighs, feeling a little too worn out to try and figure it all out on his own. Maybe Aaron is actually in the mood to talk to him now.

So Alex heads below deck, but he finds that Aaron is already lying down on his cot, facing the wall.

“Aaron?”

No response.

Alex sighs and walks over to his own cot, collapsing down onto it and staring up at the ceiling. He doesn’t want Bellamy to be worried. Or Aaron. But he’s realizing that he hasn’t given much thought to what will happen to them when the voyage ends. Will he see them again? Or will they have to go off and take another job? Alex doesn’t want to go months without seeing them.

He glances over at Aaron, considers going over and sliding into his cot beside him. But he’s almost scared to ask Aaron to come live with him after all this. What if he says no? What if he’s already planning to go off somewhere else, leaving Alex behind? Alex isn’t ready to hear that.

So he just rolls onto his side and closes his eyes, deciding he’ll talk to Aaron about it another time.

-

The following day, Alex is full of jittery excitement from the moment he wakes up, his concerns from yesterday not standing a chance against the knowledge that Treasure Planet is just hours away.

“Today is the big day,” Alex sing songs as he tugs his jacket on, and when Aaron’s only response is a grunt, Alex spins and fixes him with a frown. “C’mon, don’t be so grumpy. We’re landing in a couple hours, aren’t you excited?”

“I’m ecstatic.”

Alex rolls his eyes, and then bounds over to Aaron, getting into his space and smiling when Aaron gives him an exasperated look. “Don’t worry, I’ll be excited enough for the both of us.”

That pulls a laugh from Aaron, but then his smile fades, and he’s moving to take a step away from Alex, but Alex reaches forward and takes his hand.

“Are you okay?” he asks gently, figuring it’s safe to breach the subject again since Aaron is actually looking at him this morning. “Because you don’t seem okay, and...” Alex trails off, but he threads their fingers together. “Do you need to talk about something?”

Aaron stares at him for a long moment, and then he gives Alex’s hand a small squeeze. “I’m fine. Everything’s fine.”

“Very convincing.” 

Aaron shrugs, and he drops Alex’s hand. “You should be worrying about other things than me. Go above deck. Get ready for landing. I have things to finish up down here.”

Alex purses his lips, but he’s practically bouncing on his heels from excitement, and ultimately it's that emotion that wins out. “Fine,” he says. “But don’t think this conversation is over. We’ll talk after we land.” He stares hard at Aaron, but then he steps close and presses a quick kiss to Aaron’s cheek. “And you are definitely worth worrying about.” He grins at Aaron, who looks rather dumbstruck, and then sprints above deck.

It’s less busy than Alex is expecting. He spots Madison and Lee walking around, and John and Herc are laughing at something on the other side of the ship, but other than that, the deck is empty.

Putting it down to the fact that it is early in the morning, Alex goes over to the side of the ship and peers at the open sky in front of him. He can’t believe that in just a few hours, they’ll actually be on Treasure Planet. It doesn’t feel real. He can’t even imagine what it’ll be like. Will it be as big as he always thought it would be when he was a kid? What kind of animals will be there? And Hanover and his crew, will they actually be there? Alex doesn't know what to expect.

He just hopes it lives up to the image he’s built up of it in his mind all these years.

Alex’s stomach growls loudly, disrupting his daydreaming, and Alex presses his hand to it. Right. Food. He should eat. He'd forgotten in all his excitement. Maybe Aaron will make him something.  Intending to ask, Alex hops back down the stairs, but when he emerges into the kitchen, the space is empty.

Frowning, Alex glances around. He doesn’t remember seeing Aaron come out above deck. Where is he? Confused, Alex starts to walk, pausing when he hears the low rumble of voices coming from the other side of the wall in the room where the rest of the crew sleeps.

Alex goes over to the door that leads to it, twisting the doorknob to push open the door. He barely has it cracked open when he stops, the voices inside the room becoming more clear.

“ - think we should act now,” one voice - Jefferson - is saying, sounding angry. “It doesn’t make sense waiting until we land. We need to secure our place now.”

“No,” Aaron tells him, tone firm. “We stick to the original plan. Switching it up now would only cause chaos.”

“Which is exactly what we need,” Jefferson hisses, and Alex presses a little closer to the door, holding his breath as he listens. What are they talking about? What plan? “Chaos does wonders for the people causing it.”

“I said no. The plan is solid. More solid than before, actually. Theodosia wants me to go onto the planet with her since Washington is no longer available to do so. That’ll make it easier to - “

“And who made that an option in the first place?” Jefferson snarls. “I did! _I_ took care of Washington. You have _me_ to thank for - “ his words are cut off with a splutter and a harsh intake of air.

“I never asked you for that favor,” Aaron spits out, his voice laced with anger. “You acted without consulting anyone, which is precisely the reason I don’t trust or value your judgement, Thomas. You’re part of a crew. You need to act like it.”

There’s the sound of someone falling to the ground, and then silence, but Alex’s heart is starting to pound painfully in his chest. What did Jefferson mean that he took care of Washington? What are they talking about? What are they - 

“Reaching Treasure Planet is our goal,” another voice - Bellamy, Alex realizes - says, and Alex feels his heart skips a beat. “We can’t mess that up. Not after all this time.”

“I agree,” Jefferson says next, his voice raspy, and he clears his throat. “Which is precisely why I want our Captain here to explain his grand plan for when we actually reach it. For instance, what does he intend on doing with the crew?”

There’s more silence after that, and Alex is pretty sure he’s stopped breathing. They know about Treasure Planet? They’ve all known this whole time? But why keep it a secret? What’s going on? He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t - 

“You see,” Jefferson continues. “A few of us have some...concerns.”

“And what might those concerns be?”

“That you’ve grown too attached.”

“Too attached?”

“To people aboard the ship. To that boy. Do you really think none of us have noticed how close you two have become? Because we have. And believe me, I’m not the only one questioning where your loyalties lie.”

There’s a beat of tense silence where Alex worries they’ll be able to hear his heart thumping against his ribcage, and then - 

“My loyalties,” Aaron starts, “have always been with this crew. And anyone who wishes to challenge that fact and try to do better than me in being Captain is more than free to, but I don’t think I have to tell you that anyone who challenges me will lose.”

“What if you have to kill him?”

“Excuse me?”

“Hamilton. What if it comes down to getting the treasure, but you have to kill him in order to do it. Would you be able to? Because if you can’t, then you aren’t fit to be Captain. You _know_ how this is set to end. None of them will make it through. None of them will be on the return trip home.”

Dizziness sweeps over Alex, making him rock back slightly on his heels, losing his balance momentarily. This can’t be happening. He _has_ to be misunderstanding.

“I am more than fit to be Captain,” Aaron says, his tone cold and harsher than Alex has ever heard it, and he feels a shiver run over him. “I don’t need to tell you how long I’ve been waiting for this moment. I won’t let anything stand in my way. I’m not too attached.”

“But even when we broke into his home, you wouldn’t - “

“There was no reason to kill him then,” Aaron cuts in. “We were only looking for the map. I won’t have the same hesitations now. You know that Hamilton is the only one who can read the map. I had to get close to him and gain his trust. We need him to lead us willingly to the treasure. Once he does that, I’ll have no qualms when it comes to disposing of him. Am I making myself clear?”

“Yes,” Jefferson mutters, sounding unconvinced.

“Yes _what_?”

“Yes, _Captain_.”

“Good. Tell Lee and Madison what I told you. And tell them that anyone who questions me again will die before they even set eyes on the treasure. Now let’s get above deck before people come looking. Theodosia will be expecting us to be working hard.”

Alex stumbles back, stomach dropping with fear, but no footsteps come towards him. They must be using the other door. He waits a few more seconds, ears straining to make sure no one is about to enter the room, and then he starts to pace, the reality of what he just overheard crashing down on him.

He was right. He was right the entire time about Aaron being Silver. From the very beginning, Aaron had been lying to him. Tricking him. Manipulating him.

Alex’s breathing quickens, and he runs a hand through his hair, trying to push back the full on panic attack that he can feel coming. He needs to stay calm. He needs to - 

“Fuck,” he hisses, eyes already starting to burn with tears. He’d been so stupid. So, so stupid. There were so many warning signs, and he’d just ignored them because he thought Aaron liked him. But he was just using him this whole time. And Alex had fallen for it.

Alex presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, taking a deep breath, but it doesn’t help stop the thoughts that are bombarding him. Aaron was the one who broke into his house, who set the place on fire. He’s the reason Alex’s mom doesn’t have a job or a home anymore. Aaron is a pirate. Aaron is Silver. Aaron has killed people out of greed and is planning to kill him, to kill his friends, just so he can get some treasure. 

It’s too much for Alex to process. He can’t fit that image of Aaron with the one he knows, or thought he knew. But it’s true. He heard it with his own ears. What is he supposed to do now? What is he - 

“Alexander?”

Alex jumps, hands dropping from his eyes as he spins around to see Aaron standing at the bottom of the stairs. And Alex stands frozen to the spot, his heart beating so fast that it hurts, watching as Aaron’s eyes slowly move to the door that Alex had left slightly cracked open from when he’d been eavesdropping.

_Shit_.

“How long have you been here, Alexander?” Aaron’s voice is soft, but there’s something in his tone that makes Alex’s blood go cold. 

“I…” Alex pauses, trying to fight back the nerves and the anger bubbling under his skin. He needs to stay calm. He needs to get above deck, to the Captain’s quarters and warn everyone. “I just came down,” Alex continues, his voice steady. “I was hungry.”

“Just came down,” Aaron repeats, and he takes a step forward, his eyes locking on Alex’s, and Alex has to will every nerve in his body to calm down. He wants to step away, wants to run away from Aaron, wants the disgust and betrayal to be clear on his face, but he holds his ground and does his best to keep his expression neutral. Aaron stops a few feet in front of him and tilts his head to the side. “That’s funny. I was just above deck, right by the stairs. I didn’t see you come down.”

“That is funny,” Alex agrees, hoping the smile on his face comes across as amused and not forced as he swallows around the lump forming in his throat. “You’re usually so observant.” His voice wavers over the words, and his hands are shaking at his sides. He knows that Aaron must notice his unease.

A beat of silence follows Alex’s words, and then Aaron straightens up, eyes flicking around the room quickly before going back to Alex’s face. He takes one small step forward, and then another until he’s right in front of Alex. He leans in like he’s going to kiss him, and Alex, unable to control the reaction, flinches back.

“Oh, Alexander,” Aaron breathes out, sounding disappointed.

And then, faster than Alex can comprehend, there’s an arm on his chest, pushing him up against the nearest wall. His head collides painfully with the surface, and his vision is already starting to swim when he feels Aaron’s other hand wrap around his neck, cutting off his air supply before he can even thinking about calling for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love me a good cliffhanger.
> 
> And so the next phase of the story begins :D
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation. Leave them here or on my tumblr @fanciful-follies!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured that cliff hanger deserved a quick resolution
> 
> Enjoy the double update x

Alex’s hands fly up to to where Aaron’s metal hand is curled around his neck, fingers scrabbling uselessly against it. He blinks his eyes rapidly, vision clearing enough to see Aaron leaning in close, his expression stormy.

“Why do you always poke around into things that don’t concern you?” Aaron presses harder against his chest, the pressure starting to hurt. “Why,” Aaron hisses, his eyes blazing with an anger that Alex doesn’t recognize, “do you have to involve yourself in  _ everything _ ?”

Alex tries to inhale, his breath crackling in his throat. “Bad habit,” he manages to chokes out, giving up on trying to get out of Aaron’s grip and fixing him with the best glare he can muster, even though he can feel tears starting to prick at the corners of his eyes. “But this time my bad habit is going to save everyone.”

“Is it?” Aaron asks, his voice taking on a disinterested tone that spikes annoyance in Alex. “And how do you suppose that?”

“I’ll tell everyone,” Alex says, trying to feign confidence, which is hard considering the difficulty he’s having in taking in air. “I’m going to tell everyone about you, about your plan. About how you’re…you’re a…a-“

“A pirate,” Aaron finishes for him.

“A liar,” Alex spits out, starting to struggle again. “A traitor!”

“All of which comes with being a pirate.” Aaron eases up on his grip just a little, his hand relaxing, and he looks at Alex with dark eyes. “Alexander-“

“You lied to me,” Alex cuts in before Aaron can say anything else, taking advantage of being able to breathe. “Everything you said was a lie! I don't mean anything to you! You just needed me to trust you so that you could use me! Then you were just gonna  _ dispose _ of me, right?”

Aaron winces at the words before he seems to be able to stop it. But then his face is blank and disinterested again, and Alex growls in frustration, thrashing wildly against him, hitting his chest with closed fists, angry that he can feel tears slipping down his cheeks.

“Calm down,” Aaron tells him, sounding annoyed, but that just makes Alex even angrier. “Alexander, stop it!”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Alex shouts as he hits Aaron again, angry that his voice cracks over the words. He wants to be stronger than this. “Don’t ever tell me what to do again! Everything out of your mouth is a lie, and I never want to hear you say anything to me! I hate you!” He hits Aaron one last time before the fight seems to leave him all at once, and he can only pant heavily and hope there is enough anger in his eyes to let Aaron know how he feels without any more words.

“I always expected you to hate me at some point,” Aaron says after a moment, his voice even. “I was hoping it would be sooner rather than later, but you just couldn’t keep away, could you? You had to complicate things.” Aaron laughs at that, but there’s no humor in it. “I should have taken care of you sooner,” he murmurs, and those words send a chill down Alex’s spine.

“You mean you should have killed me?” Alex asks, feeling Aaron’s hand twitch against him. He clenches his jaw and his heart almost stops at the look of determination that crosses Aaron’s face. “Is that what you’re going to do now? Kill me? Do it, Aaron, kill me. Kill me or I’ll tell everyone. Kill me or-”

Aaron growls, eyes flashing in anger and his hand moves to Alex’s throat again, cutting off his supply of taunts. “Shut up,” Aaron hisses, his face inches away from Alex’s, letting him see every spark of hate in his eyes, every scar on his skin. “You never know when to stop _talking_!”

Alex mouths wordlessly at Aaron, only able to take in short pants of air. He looks around the room desperately, trying to find something to fight back with. All he can see is a kitchen knife on the counter next to him, and he looks back at Aaron and inches his hand towards it slowly.

“Everything was fine before you showed up,” Aaron continues, his eyes wide and wild. “There were no hesitations, no obstacles. But then you,” Aaron squeezes, and Alex chokes, vision going momentarily dark, but he can feel the knife against his fingertips, “you had to ruin it all.” Aaron loosens his grip again, and Alex takes in lungfuls of air, falling against Aaron now that there is nothing holding him up. 

“You don’t have to do it,” Alex rasps out, tilting his face to look up at Aaron, letting his tears fall freely now, hoping they’ll be a distraction as he grabs the knife and slowly moves it behind his back. “You could just walk away.”

“Walk away?” Aaron repeats, laughing sharply. “I’ve spent my whole life looking for Treasure Planet, Alexander.” He puts a hand on Alex’s chin, holding his gaze. His eyes roam over Alex’s face, and Alex grips the knife tightly behind his back. But then Aaron’s hand covers his mouth, and his breath hitches. “You’re going to listen to me,” Aaron starts, “you’re going to listen to me before doing something stupid, okay? Nod your head.”

Alex grips the knife tightly behind his back, teetering on the edge of his decision of whether or not to strike now or wait. He stares hard at Aaron, takes in the way the man’s jaw twitches, and the way his chest is rising and falling rapidly, and he finds himself nodding.

“If you go to Theodosia now,” Aaron says, “then people will die.”

Alex jerks at that, almost brings the knife out to strike, but Aaron pushes his hand harder against his mouth.

“Listen,” he whispers harshly, leaning in closer. “You go to her now, and I cannot stop my crew from fighting back. You heard our plan. We’re waiting until we reach the planet, until the treasure is located. If you keep what you know a secret until then, no one has to get hurt. You’ll have a better chance of getting people off the planet alive than fighting your way out of the chaos that will break out if you go to Theodosia.”

Alex scoffs, the noise muffled by Aaron’s hand, but then the man lowers his hand slightly, and Alex takes a deep breath. “You’re saying you’d just let us leave? I’m not falling for that. You’ll need a ship to get off the planet. You won’t just let us go.”

Aaron dips his head down in acknowledgement. “Maybe not, but I’m sure some kind of deal could be struck.”

“Not according to Jefferson.”

“Thomas isn’t in charge.”

Alex shakes his head slowly, and he curls his fingers tighter around the knife. “He killed Washington,” he says softly. “He killed him and you  _ knew _ . And you just...you let me think that…” He trails off, and Aaron’s eyes flick away from his for a brief moment.

“I didn’t tell him to do it. I had no idea - “

“Then you have no control of what he chooses to do,” Alex cuts in, and Aaron grimaces. “Even if I did believe what you were telling me, which I don’t, there’s no way Jefferson would go along with any aspect of this other plan.”

Aaron breathes in deep through his nose, and his hand moves down lower, resting against Alex’s throat again. “I can’t let you go, Alexander.”

“But you can’t kill me either,” Alex says. “You need me to read the map. But I won’t ever read that map for you. I’d rather die.”

Aaron’s head tilts to the side, and his lips twist into a small smile. “That may be true. But would you rather watch your friends die instead?”

All of the oxygen leaves Alex’s lungs at that, even though Aaron’s hand is lax around his throat. “You wouldn’t - “

“That’s what will happen, Alexander,” Aaron continues. “Your friends will get hurt. John, Herc, Eliza, and Theodosia. All of them will get hurt.”

“Stop it,” Alex chokes out. “Stop it, just stop it. Why are you doing this? I don’t…” He trails off, shaking a little as his tears start to fall again. “I don’t understand why you’re  _ doing _ this. Is the treasure really that important to you? That you’d kill for it? Why?”

”You tell me,” Aaron whispers, and Alex shuts his eyes tight, not wanting to look at Aaron anymore. “You’ve read the stories. You know them better than anyone else. You kept them under your bed, after all.”

Alex shudders at the reminder that he'd shared that with Aaron. “Because they were connected to Treasure Planet! Not because I was fascinated with Silver - with  _ you _ \- killing people!”

“And I only killed people because they were connected to Treasure Planet, not because I wanted to!”

Alex laughs at that, he can’t help it, and he opens his eyes to fix Aaron with a disgusted look. “Listen to yourself! You didn’t have to kill anyone! You chose to! You  _ chose _ to kill people just so you could get your hands on some treasure. You’re willing to kill my friends, and I’m guessing to eventually kill me, for some gold!”

Aaron flinches at the words, and he snarls. “It’s not just the treasure! It’s never just been about the treasure. It’s - “ He cuts himself off, nostrils flaring, and Alex notices, for the first time, that Aaron is shaking.

“What do you mean?” Alex asks against his better judgement. “What else could it be about?”

Aaron’s jaw clenches and unclenches, and he shakes his head slowly. “I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t. But I need to get to Treasure Planet. My whole life, Alexander, my whole  _ life _ , it’s the only thing that I’ve worked towards, the only thing I’ve ever wanted. I can’t stop now.”

Alex swallows, his throat dry, and he keeps his eyes on Aaron, who is looking at him with an almost pleading expression. “And you just expect me to let it happen? To let you hurt people?”

Aaron actually smiles at that, and he leans in close enough to rest his forehead against Alex’s, both of his hands loosening their hold on him even more. “No. No, I never expected that of you.” He pulls back slightly, eyes searching Alex’s. “I expect you to fight back,” Aaron murmurs, and Alex tightens his grip on the knife still in his grasp. “I just hope you’re ready for the consequences of that.”

Alex tilts his chin up, heart pounding in his chest, and he takes a deep breath. “I am.”

And then he ducks down as fast as he can, shoving the knife against Aaron’s knee with all the strength he can muster.

Aaron releases Alex with a howl of pain and rage, and Alex sprints to the door across the room, not looking back or stopping as he runs through the winding hallways, his chest burning with the exertion.

“Pirates,” Alex blurts out as he bursts into Theodosia’s quarters, eyes landing on Theodosia and Eliza, both of whom look up at him in surprise from their seat.

“Say that again, Mr. Hamilton?” Theodosia commands as she rises, her hand already going to the pistol at her side. “Pirates? On my ship?”

“Yes,” Alex breathes, shutting the door and locking it behind him. “A lot of them. Jefferson and Madison, Lee, Maria, and Bellamy, too, and…and Aaron.” The final name burns in Alex’s throat, and he blinks back his tears, not wanting them now. “They know I know,” Alex continues, needing to stress the urgency of the situation. “They’re going to attack!”

“Then we must-“ Theodosia cuts off when shouts ring out loud and clear from outside, followed quickly by cries of surprise. “We don’t have much time. Mr. Hamilton, here.” Theodosia strides over to the wall, opening the safe that contains the map. She places it on her desk, and then opens a drawer next, taking two pistols out from it. “Take one, both of you.”

Alex reaches for the gun, and then stares up at Theodosia. “What’s the plan? What do we do?”

There are footsteps approaching, and Alex feels his pulse quicken.

“You will take Eliza and get her to the escape boats. Treasure Planet is close. Fly to it and hide, and I will meet you there.”

“But - “

“Grab anyone else you can,” Theodosia continues. “But under no circumstances do you let them get their hands on that map. As long as we have it, we have a bargaining chip. Do you understand me, Mr. Hamilton?”

“I - yes, I understand, I - “

“I’ll buy you as much time as I can,” Theodosia tells him, and then glances up with a grim expression when the door rattles violently. “Go, go now. Out that way.” She points to the door adjacent to her desk, and Alex runs over to Eliza, grabbing her hand. 

“We’ll be okay,” Alex tells her, but she just stares at him with wide eyes. “Just hold my hand and don’t let go, okay? Just - “ He cuts off when a gunshot rings out, and then he’s spinning to see the door bursting open, and Bellamy walks into the room, Jefferson following close behind.

“Hello, Captain” Jefferson says with a grin, raising his pistol and pointing it at Theodosia. “I’m afraid it’s time for a new command to rise. But thank you for your service.”

There’s a soft click, and Alex, frozen in fear, watches Jefferson as he pulls the trigger, a boom echoing in the room.

And that’s when all hell breaks loose. 

With inhuman speed, Theodosia darts out of the way and then upends her desk, throwing it onto its side and ducking behind it.

“Go!” She yells at Alex and Eliza, and then she’s firing a shot over her desk, and Alex sees Jefferson duck, swearing when the wall next to him gets hit.

Alex tugs Eliza towards the door, but then he halts, panicking hitting him as he realizes the map had been on Theodosia’s desk. He scans the floor for it, spotting it lying beside the bookshelf.

He lunges down for it, only looking up again once it’s within his grasp. His eyes meet Bellamy, who is staring at him with a knowing expression, and he curses under his breath. Now everyone will know he has the map.

“We have to go,” Alex tells Eliza, and they both run towards the door, wrenching it open and wasting no time in running down the corridor.

“Can we get to the escape boats from here?” Eliza asks as they run, and Alex skids to a halt, glancing around them.

In his panic, nothing is looking familiar. “I...I don’t, I think we - “

They both jump when someone rounds the corner, and Alex raises his pistol.

“Hey, what’s - woah!” Herc puts their hands up, eyes going wide. “What are you doing?”

“Shit,” Alex pants, lowering his arm and pressing a hand to his chest. “Fuck, sorry. I thought you were someone else.”

“What is going on? I heard shouts and - “

“Pirates,” Eliza breaks in. “The...the crew, they’re all pirates.”

“I…what?”

“It’s true,” Alex says. “Everyone except Theodosia. They tricked all of us. They…” Alex trails off, seeing the shock and hurt on Herc’s face that he knows must still be on his own. “I’m sorry.”

Herc shakes their head, mouth opening and closing a few times, but then they straighten, as if realizing something. “John, he was with Madison. Is he - “

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Alex says, despite the fear that rises in him. “I’m sure he’s - “

The sound of footsteps echoes down the hallway, too many to be good news, and Alex swears again.

“We have to go.”

“I’ll hold them off,” Herc says. “There’s not enough time to escape. You two go.”

“Herc, no, you have to - “

“Give me your gun.”

Herc and Alex stare at each other, a silent argument occurring between them, but then Alex gives in, handing over his pistol. He grips Herc’s shoulder, and then squeezes Eliza’s hand before taking off running again, not letting himself look back at his friend.

“We have to get above deck,” Alex says. “I’m all turned around, I don’t know where we are. So we’ll go on deck, find the stairs, and then run. One of the staircases leads to hallway that’s a straight shot to the escape boats. Okay?”

Eliza nods, and they both turn a corner sharply, running as fast as they can up the stairs. It’s eerily quiet when they emerge, and Alex sends up a quick thank you that the deck is deserted as him and Eliza sprint across it. But then, as usual, things are too good to be true.

Theodosia comes bursting out of the stairway, Jefferson and Madison at her heels, and Alex curses, skidding to a halt and looking behind him, where he sees John emerging from the other staircase, Lee closing in on  him.

“Fuck,” Eliza says, and Alex can only nod, his pulse racing with panic.  He opens his mouth to say something, but then Eliza is being wrenched away from him, and he spins around to see Maria holding her, an apologetic look on her face.

“Let her go!” Alex shouts, but Maria just gets a better grip on Eliza, holding a pistol to her side. 

Truly panicking, Alex looks around him. Theodosia is fighting Madison and Jefferson at once, their bodies a blur of movement as their swords clash, and, on the other side of the deck, John is fighting Lee. Bellamy and Herc are nowhere to be seen, but that doesn’t bring him any comfort.

Then, through the chaos, Alex spots Aaron.

For a moment, Alex doesn’t understand why he feels confused. But then he takes in the way the sunlight is glinting off of Aaron’s metal arm, and realizes how much brighter it looks, how much more...silver.

There’s a look of rage on Aaron’s face, mixed with flares of pain whenever he steps with his metal leg. Alex feels a strange mix of sympathy and satisfaction that his aim had been so good. But then Aaron’s eyes find his, and Alex feels a flash of fear hit him.  He thinks he sees Aaron’s lips form his name, and then his eye glows, and it glows _red_ , not gold. 

Alex instinctively covers his pocket with the map inside. He realizes his mistake when Aaron smirks and takes a step towards him. Alex stumbles back, unable to look away as he watches with growing fear as Aaron stalks closer.

Alex turns back to look at Eliza, who, despite the slight tremble of her lower lip, is putting up a brave face. Alex sees her hand inching towards her sword, and she gives him the smallest of nods, which Alex returns.

Then he forces himself to turn and run, feet carrying him across the deck with a panicked urgency. He has the map, and he knows his friends are safe as long as it stays in his possession. Aaron won’t risk hurting any of his friends for fear of making Alex too upset to help.

Alex darts below deck again, running straight down the first hallway that he sees. The escape boats are right beyond that door. He pulls it open and slams it shut behind him seconds later.

He drops to his knees beside one of the boats and starts to untie the first knot, but he barely has it finished when the door is banging open, causing Alex to jump, and fear grips him when he comes face to face with Jefferson.

“Well, well, two in one day,” Jefferson drawls as he walks further into the room, smirking when Alex gives him a confused glance. “First I shoot your friend Hercules, and now I get to shoot you.”

Alex feels his heart stop. “You’re lying. You didn’t - “

“Oh, but I did.”

Alex feels dizzy, but he forces himself to ignore Jefferson’s words. He’s lying. He’s lying to try and distract him, to get rid of him easier. And Alex, realizing that he’s weaponless, swallows around his fear and tries to think of a plan. 

“You won’t kill me,” he says. “I know you need me to read the map.”

Jefferson just grins. “Oh, sure, Aaron thinks that. But me? I’m betting that’s just a load of shit you made up to sound impressive in front of your crush.” He laughs at that, taking a step closer to Alex, like he’s stalking prey. “And how did that turn out, hm? Is there a happily ever after in your future?”

“Shut up.”

“I’ll take that as a no. How sad.  Just another regret you’ll be taking to the grave once I - “

Alex sprints forward, hoping to somehow get past Jefferson, but the man grabs him easily and throws him down on the the ground, and Alex’s forehead collides painfully with the corner of one of the escape boats.

He rolls onto his back, head pulsing, and he feels something warm dripping down his face. But before he can give it much thought, Jefferson is grabbing him by the front of his jacket and hauling him up, pushing him against one of the walls.

“I’ve been looking forward to this,” Jefferson murmurs, a twisted smile on his face. He corners Alex against the wall, putting his pistol right against his chest. “I wanted to shoot you the moment I laid eyes on you, Hamilton.”

“Back at ya,” Alex spits out, squirming against Jefferson’s grip to no avail. “I’m wondering how you’ve managed to make it this long without being shot.” He’s hoping he’ll be able to goad Jefferson into an argument, prolonging the time Alex needs for someone to find them, but Jefferson just laughs.

“Believe me, people have tried.” He pushes the gun harder against Alex, cocking it as he leans in with a smirk. “But I always shoot them first.”

“Just do it!” Alex snarls, trying to keep his hands from shaking. “Just stop talking and shoot me. Get it over with.”

“But isn’t this so much more fun?” Jefferson moves the gun up until it’s pressed right under Alex’s jaw, forcing his head back. “I want to enjoy this moment. I’ve been planning it for so long.” He laughs again when Alex squeezes his eyes shut, no longer wanting to watch the amused expression on Jefferson’s face. He doesn’t want that to be the last thing he sees.

“Just do it,” Alex whispers, still keeping his eyes closed. He can’t stop the flinch when Jefferson presses the metal of the gun harder against his jaw, his heart pounding in his chest. He tries to take a deep breath, but it gets caught in his throat. He counts down from ten, hoping Jefferson will do it soon. But then there’s another click of a gun being cocked, and Alex hears Jefferson take in a surprised breath.

“Drop it,” a low voice commands. “Drop it, Thomas.”

When Alex feels the gun pull away, he brings a hand up immediately to cover the skin that still feels cold from the metal. He slowly opens his eyes, his momentary relief disappearing when he sees who his rescuer is.

Aaron has a gun pressed to Thomas’s back, but his eyes are on Alex, roaming over his face and pausing with his gaze on Alex’s forehead, making Alex aware of the blood still dripping down his face.

“Aaron,” Thomas starts, but he cuts off with a scowl when Aaron pushes the gun harder against him. “What? You’re really going to let him live? You’re going to spare this useless piece of-”

“Shut up,” Aaron instructs, his eyes still on Alex as he lowers his gun and pulls Thomas back, ignoring his grumbles of protest as he takes his spot in front of Alex. “I can’t let you kill him,” Aaron murmurs, and Alex feels something in his chest tighten. “Not when we still need him.”

Alex flinches again when Aaron’s gun is pressed against his ribs, that feeling in his chest turning to anger at Aaron, an anger at himself for believing Aaron actually cared about him. He doesn’t care about anything or anyone about himself and his own greed. “You’re pathetic,” Alex whispers harshly, keeping his eyes on Aaron’s face as he slips a hand into the inside pocket of Alex’s jacket.

Aaron doesn’t say anything as he removes the golden orb, looking at it with a hungry gaze before slipping it into his own pocket. Then his eyes are back on Alex’s, appraising and thoughtful. “Thomas,” he says after a moment, still looking at Alex. “Leave us.”

“All due respect, sir,” Thomas grits out, “I think I should stay.”

“Leave,” Aaron tells him again, his voice cold and making it clear that the word is a command. "Guard the door." He doesn’t turn to watch as Jefferson scowls before slouching away. It’s only once his footsteps fade that Aaron moves, lowering his gun and taking a small step away from Alex. “You should surrender,” Aaron says, putting his gun back at his side. “Surrender before this gets any worse.”

“Worse?” Alex asks, still trying to calm down. “How could this possibly get any worse?”

“You know the stories,” Aaron murmurs, looking away. 

“You’re really going to kill everyone?” Alex asks, taking a small step towards Aaron, his fear and angry making his hands shake. “Just like that? Is it really that easy for you?”

Aaron slowly moves his eyes back to Alex, lips twitching. “Do you really want to know?”

Alex snaps his mouth shut at that, looking away from Aaron and refusing to let any tears fall. But it’s hard. It’s so hard with Aaron standing so close, everything about him a lie and an act. And Alex is so mad at himself for being fooled so easily. 

“Alexander, it doesn’t have to be like this.” Aaron steps closer when Alex just snorts. “It doesn’t. You  _ know _ the stories,” he says again. “You know that I don’t kill everyone. You know that - “

“What?” Alex cuts in. “You’re just going to take us hostage? How is that any better? This is different from all those other times, Aaron! You have what you want now! You have the map! And you’re going to use me to get to the treasure and then take off with it, and what? Instead of killing us you’ll just leave us stranded on Treasure Planet? That’s as good as killing us.”

Aaron actually looks frustrated at that, as if he was somehow expecting Alex to come up with some kind of solution to all of this.

“Just go,” Alex mutters. “You got what you wanted, right? So leave me alone.”

But Aaron doesn’t move, and Alex can feel his eyes still on him. “Are you giving up that easily?” Aaron asks, causing Alex to glare at him. “You’re going to let me have this?” He pats his pocket where the map is, his eyes goading as they bore into Alex’s. “Everything you’ve dreamed about is in this map, and you’re letting it go?”

“I don’t care about the treasure,” Alex bites out despite the disappointment and anguish he feels, knowing that he’ll either die on this ship or go back home a bigger failure than when he left. “I care about my friends, I care about keeping them alive more than the stupid treasure, because I have a heart.”

“A heart,” Aaron murmurs, a short laugh escaping him. He looks up towards the sky, and his shoulders rise and fall. He keeps his eyes up, giving Alex the chance to observe him unnoticed.

He’s standing straighter than he normally does, unbothered by the yells and shouts coming from other sections of the ship. He radiates power and anger, and Alex will admit that it scares him. Aaron scares him. But there’s a sense of uncertainty in Aaron, too, a look of doubt tingeing the lines in his face.

“Aaron.” Alex steps closer to him, licking his lips as he plans out the words he wants to say in his head. He feels like Aaron is teetering on the edge of a decision, and maybe Alex can push him a certain way. Maybe he can turn the tide. “Maybe…maybe you can just...you can just let us go.”

Aaron slowly tilts his head back down, eyes finding Alex’s. “You know why I can’t do that.”

“I’ll show you how to open the map!” Alex tells him desperately, despite not truly understanding how he does it. “I’ll show you right now! You can take an escape boat down to Treasure Planet and then let us all go. Or let  _ us _ take an escape boat. Just…” He trails off when Aaron starts to shake his head. “Why?”

“I first heard the story about Treasure Planet when I was six years old, Alexander. By eight, I was already making plans. At thirteen, I was on my first voyage, part of my first crew. All of it leading to this moment. Thomas was right. I’ve been losing focus, and I can’t let that happen anymore. I can’t take the chance of not having you there to read the map.”

"Then just take me. Let everyone else go. I'll take you to the treasure if you let everyone go."

"You know that isn't an option."

Alex feels his shoulders slump, his mind running out of ideas. He doesn’t know what else to do, where else to turn “So what now?”

Aaron takes another step towards him. “I need you to come with me.”

“And if I do, can you promise that no one else gets hurt?”

Aaron falters. “No, I can’t promise you that.”

Alex squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a pained laugh. “This is all such bullshit.” He brings his hands up to his face, refusing to let Aaron see him get upset. But, with his gaze turned down towards the deck, Alex can see Aaron’s feet take another step closer, and an idea comes to him.

Breathing in deep, Alex takes one step, and then another, and then he drops his hands from his face and lets his body lean forward, his forehead coming to rest on Aaron’s shoulder. “I don’t know what to do,” he whispers, keeping his eyes open, gaze traveling to the holster at Aaron’s side.

“You don’t have to do anything,” Aaron tells him, one hand coming up to rest against Alex’s back, “except come with me. That’s all, Alexander. I’ll take care of the rest.”

Alex wonders if Aaron really thinks those words are comforting, because they do nothing but send a chill down Alex’s spine. But he uses that as an excuse to press closer, slowly sliding  his hand down to Aaron’s hip.

“Aaron,” Alex murmurs, trying to keep his breathing steady, as his hand brushes against the gun. Then he pulls back quickly, Aaron’s gun in his hand, which he points at Aaron with a shaky grip.

He keeps the gun pointed at him as he quickly shoves his hand into Aaron’s other pocket, grabbing the map and backing away as fast as he can. When he finally looks at Aaron, he expects him to be angry, to be furious. He doesn’t expect to see the smug smile on his lips.

“You’d make a good pirate,” Aaron tells him, sounding impressed and satisfied, like he’d been testing Alex and had expected this result.

That thought makes Alex stumble back, his cheeks heating up. He’s about to say something back when he hears a gunshot, followed by another, and then there's the sound of someone being hit, followed by a thud. Someone calls his name, and, turning in surprise, Alex feels his chest fill with relief as he sees Theodosia and Eliza making their way over to him, both looking relatively unharmed. 

“You’re okay,” Eliza calls out, throwing herself at Alex and hugging him tightly as Theodosia raises her own pistol to aim it at Aaron. “John said he saw you running, and then no one saw you after that and we all thought…” Eliza trails off, pulling back with scared eyes. But she smiles when Alex squeezes her hand before he looks over at Theodosia.

“Where is everyone else?” He asks, looking behind them, hoping to see the rest of his friends coming. But no one comes. “Jefferson said that Herc...that they were hurt, is - “

“I don’t know about Hercules,” Theodosia tells him gently. “I didn’t see them. John was holding his own against Lee last I saw. But we don’t have time to wait. Eliza, darling, could you finish undoing the knots, please?” Theodosia gestures with her free hand to the boats, and Eliza rushes to comply. “You got the map?” she asks, nodding when Alex shows it to her. “Good. Then we have no time to waste. We find Treasure Planet before those pirates.”

All of them stop and turn when they hear a sharp laugh, noticing Aaron standing there with his fists clenched. “Go as fast as you want,” Aaron grits out, his eyes bright. “I’ll still get there first.”

“Your confidence is admirable, Mr. Burr,” Theodosia tells him. “It’s a shame what you use it for. Ladies first, Miss Schuyler.” Theodosia nods at the boat, eyes staying trained on Aaron as Eliza climbs in. Then she motions for Alex to get in as well. “Mr. Hamilton, if you would be so kind as to aim your gun at Mr. Burr as I climb aboard.”

“Are you going to kill me?” Aaron asks Theodosia, smiling at her. “I would prefer to know in advance.”

“I will not be killing you, Mr. Burr,” Theodosia says, stepping into the boat quickly. She peeks at Alex when she hears the exhale of relief he can’t hold back. He still doesn’t want to have to watch Aaron die. “You’re the captain of this ship now,” Theodosia continues, starting to untie the last rope holding their boat to the ship. “And you will go down with it, as is your duty.” She lifts her arm again, hand steady as she aims at Aaron. “But just to give us a little insurance…” She fires, and Aaron falls to the ground, both hands grasping at his metal leg as it's hit.

Alex, blinking back his shock, stumbles over to the controls on the escape boat, punching the buttons until the sail pops up, orange and yellow currents of power crackling over it. He remains at the controls, designating himself as the helmsman mainly so he can pretend to be focused, giving him a reason to not look back at Aaron, who is letting out soft moans of pain.

“Get us out of here, Mr. Hamilton,” Theodosia instructs, the last rope untied. She sits beside Eliza and nods at Alex, who nods in return before steering the boat a safe distance away from the ship, slowly letting it accelerate more and more. 

“Alex,” Eliza murmurs a few moments later, her voice soft and full of sympathy. She lays a hand on Alex’s shoulder when he doesn’t respond. “Alex, I’m so sorry.” She drops it at that, but Alex knows what she’s saying, knows that she knows how he had felt about Aaron. 

“We were all fooled,” Theodosia says from where she’s sitting. “Even I couldn’t see through their act. Do not blame yourself, Mr. Hamilton.”

Alex grits his teeth, blinking furiously as he forces himself to focus on navigating. Adrenaline is still pumping through him, making it difficult for him to even take in what had just happened. It's all too much.  He hears Theodosia starting to say more, but then she cuts off with a curse, and the noise causes Alex to look behind them, his eyes growing wide at what he sees.

Jefferson is behind one of the cannons on the ship, Madison at his side, and Alex thinks he can even make out the smirk growing across Jefferson's face. But then Aaron is there, limping over quickly, looking as if he's going to shove Jefferson out of the way, but he's too late.

A thunderous bang rings through the air, and then their boat jerks to the side and starts to plummet rapidly.

Alex tries everything he knows to regain control, but to no avail.  “We’re going to crash!” he yells, watching as the ground gets closer and closer. “I’m doing everything I can, but…”

“Then prepare for a crash landing,” Theodosia shouts, no trace of fear discernible in her face. “Try to land us as smoothly as you can. These boats are sturdier than you’d think. The protective force field is strong.”

Alex nods, wanting to believe Theodosia’s words. But the ground is moving to meet them at a rapid pace, and the wheel of the boat is vibrating in Alex’s hands as he holds on tightly. He’s doing his best to keep the boat upright, ensuring that they don’t crash head on, but he can feel the boat tipping, wanting to flip over. 

The ground is moments away now, and Alex shuts his eyes, unable to watch. Seconds later there’s a violent crash and a rough jerk, the breath being knocked out of Alex at the impact. Then he feels like he’s floating, dimly realizing that he’s been tossed from the boat. Then there is another crash and a flash of intense pain.

And then there’s darkness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just realized this is basically another cliff hanger....sorry
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated, and comments fuel my motivation, so leave em here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies :d


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy x

When Alex comes to, the first thing he realizes is how sore his entire body is. 

He groans and shifts on the ground, confused as to why he feels dirt beneath him, but then he remembers. They crashed. They crashed because Jefferson shot at their ship. And Jefferson shot at their ship because he, along with the majority of the crew, are pirates.

Alex knows he should get up. He knows he should find Theodosia and Eliza and hide somewhere, but he feels so tired, and his head is pounding, so instead he continues to lay there, drifting in and out of consciousness.

Some time later, Alex realizes that there are are hands on his face, shaking him gently, and then with more force. There’s a brief reprieve, and then a hand slaps him - hard. 

“Shit,” Alex cries out, bringing one of his hands up to touch his face, which is warm beneath his fingers. “What the hell,” he mumbles, blinking open his eyes. “What - “

“Ah! You are okay! Wonderful!”

The voice isn’t familiar, and Alex feels his pulse start to race with panic. His eyes adjust, and he takes in the sight of a strange man leaning over him, hair pulled back into a bun, and a neatly trimmed beard covering his cheeks and chin.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“I’m Lafayette!” The man beams down at Alex as he struggles into a sitting position, trying to decide between fight or flight. “I saw your ship fall from the sky - “ The man - Lafayette - uses his hand to mimic the descent of a ship “ - and then I saw it crash.” He uses both hands to mime an explosion. “And so I came to investigate!” 

Alex stares at him, unsure if this is real or some kind of hallucination resulting from the crash. Deciding to just go with it for now, and seeing as Lafayette _was_ trying to wake him instead of just killing him on the spot, Alex figures it's safe to turns his attention to himself. He pats at his chest and stomach, shifting his legs to make sure he isn’t badly injured.

“You have no serious injuries,” Lafayette tells him confidently. “Do not worry. I already scanned you.”

“Scanned me?” Alex pauses his movements. He doesn’t know if he likes the sound of that.

Lafayette nods, and then he holds a hand out to hover it over Alex’s chest, and Alex watches with wide eyes as a blue light emits from Lafayette’s palm. When the light hits his chest, it’s like Alex is looking at himself through an x-ray.

“What…”

“I am an Android,” Lafayette informs him cheerfully. 

Now Alex nods, the information making a whole lot of sense. That explains why Lafayette looks so put together, seeing as Androids can control their appearance. But it doesn’t explain why Lafayette is here, or who exactly he is, or, most importantly, if Alex can trust him.

“So, what exactly - “

“There will be time for questions later,” Lafayette tells him, and then he’s standing up and offering a Alex a hand. “You should not keep sitting in the dirt like this. And your friends are waiting for you.”

Alex staggers to his feet, head spinning a little at the movement. “My friends? You found Theodosia and Eliza? They’re okay?”

“I did. And they...they are fine.”

“Fine?” Alex definitely doesn’t like the way Lafayette said that word.

“Please follow me.” Lafayette starts to walk, gesturing for Alex to come with him, and after a  moment of hesitation, Alex does.

He’s not sure that following a complete stranger through an unknown, heavily forested area is a great idea. But Lafayette seems okay, and he knows where Theodosia and Eliza are. Alex doesn’t feel like he has much of a choice.

He can’t keep track of where they’re going, but Lafayette never falters, never seems like he’s lost. So Alex just follows his footsteps, and, after some time, they come into a small clearing and Alex spots what seems like an elevated hut a few feet ahead.

“Home, sweet home,” Lafayette declares as they walk towards it, and he ushers Alex inside ahead of him.

“You found him!” a voice cries out, and Alex is suddenly being hugged by a familiar weight.

“You’re okay,” he breathes out, pulling away from Eliza to look at her. “And Theodosia? Is she - “ he cuts himself off when his eyes move around the room, spotting Theodosia lying on a cot, sweat beading her brow.

“She’s...okay,” Eliza tells him softly, but there’s worry lining her expression. “She broke a rib during the crash, and there’s a pretty deep cut on her side, but Lafayette said he’d be able to make something to ease the pain.”

“Yes, it will be no trouble! I will go at once to gather the plants at once!”

They both turn at Lafayette’s happy tone, and then man smiles at them before exiting the hut just as quickly as he’d entered. 

“Can we trust him?” Alex asks once he’s gone, and Eliza shrugs.

“We don’t have much of a choice. But he seems harmless enough. I mean, he’s giving us shelter and rescued all three of us. Sorry for sending him for you alone, I just didn’t want to leave Theodosia.” She extracts herself from Alex and goes to sit beside Theodosia, taking a wet washcloth and dabbing at her brow.

After a moment, Alex moves to sit beside her, and he knocks his shoulder against Eliza’s. “She’ll be okay. Lafayette would know if it was really bad.”

“I know. It’s just…” she trails off and shakes her head. “I’m just having trouble taking all of this in.”

“You and me both.”

Eliza looks over at him, her expression turning sympathetic. “Of course. Alex, I’m sorry. I...I don’t know what to say. I know that you - “

“We don’t need to talk about it,” Alex says quickly. “I...I don’t _want_ to talk about it, really.” He laughs. “I mean, what is there to say? We all got lied to. We all got tricked. That’s all it is.”

“Alex, we both know that’s not all. You were close with Aaron. You liked him. You - “

“I don’t need the list,” Alex snaps, and he turns away with a clenched jaw. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...I just don’t want to think about it, okay?” He doesn’t want to think about how scrambled his brain is because of this. He doesn’t want to admit how stupid he feels. Or how hurt.

“Okay,” Eliza says gently. “Okay.”

They sit in silence after that, Alex trying and failing to keep his thoughts from trailing to Aaron. But luckily it isn’t long before Lafayette returns, his arms full of various plants and flowers, distracting Alex from everything else..

“I am back!” Lafayette announces unnecessarily with a wide smile, and he goes over to a small table in the corner of the room, laying the plants out on the surface. “I will crush some of these up and mix them together, and then wrap them with this - “ he holds up a large, green leaf “ - and then we will place it on her wound. Very easy.”

“Great,” Alex says after a moment. “Thanks.” He glances over at Eliza, and then clears his throat. Now seems as good a time as ever to ask some questions. “So, Lafayette…”

“Yes?”

“How did you get here? To the planet?”

“On a ship, like yourselves. Although mine did not crash.” He smiles over at Alex, already mashing the plants together. 

“Where is your ship, now?” Eliza asks, and Alex perks up at the question. If Lafayette’s ship is still on the planet, they can escape on it. They can get out of this. They can - 

“I have no idea,” Lafayette responds brightly, and Alex feels his stomach sink. “I have looked, you see, but I can’t seem to find it anywhere, which is strange. It is a very large ship.”

Eliza throws Alex a confused look, which Alex can only mirror back to her. “A large ship? So you probably had a crew, right?”

“Yes, oh, yes! A lovely crew.”

“Where are they?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know that either,” Lafayette tells them, and he says those words solemnly, a frown tugging at his lips before he’s smiling again. He shrugs his shoulders and begins wrapping the leaf around the mush of plants. “I’m almost done with this, now.”

Alex scoots a little closer to Eliza, wariness starting to creep over him. “What’s with this guy?” he murmurs lowly, wondering if leaving might be a good idea, and Eliza just shakes her head, frowning, but then her eyes widen and Alex hears her gasp.

“Alex, his jacket. Look at his jacket.”

At first, Alex just notices how worn and torn up the jacket is, but then he notices the style of it. It’s a naval uniform.

“Lafayette,” Alex says slowly, a thought coming to him. “How long have you been here?”

“Oh, let me think. I’d say it’s been about ten years, three months, one week, and five days.”

Alex feels his jaw drop. Ten years. That means he was a part of the last crew to ever come to Treasure Planet. 

Him and Eliza both watch as Lafayette walks over to them, kneeling beside Theodosia and lifting her shirt slightly, revealing to Alex for the first time the long, jagged cut across her side. Lafayette must notice Alex’s grimace, because he gives him a reassuring smile as he places his concoction on Theodosia’s skin.

“Do not fret. She will be recovered in no time.”

Alex nods, and then he licks his lips, eyes moving back to Lafayette. “Lafayette, why did you come to this planet?”

“For the treasure, of course.”

“So you know about the treasure?”

“Yes. Who doesn’t? And, well, this is kind of a secret, but, you seem like trustworthy people…” Lafayette leans in close to both of them, his voice dropping. “My ship was sent as a rescue mission, as well.”

Alex can feel his heart pounding in his chest. “And...and did you find who you were trying to rescue? Did you find the treasure?” 

“Nope!”

Alex doesn’t understand. What has Lafayette been doing on the planet for ten years? And where’s the rest of his crew? They can’t have just disappeared. None of it makes sense.

Eliza nudges Alex in the side, her eyes on Lafayette. “Look at his head,” she whispers. “The scratch on his temple...I think he took part of his memory chip out.”

Alex tracks his gaze over the small, horizontal scratch on Lafayette’s temple, and things slowly start to click into place. Androids have the ability to separate their memories and materialize them into slim, metal objects, almost like a hard drive. They can take them out or even transfer another Android’s memories into their own mind.

“Lafayette,” Alex starts slowly, wanting to get to the bottom of this “what happened when you landed on the planet?”

“We explored.”

“And what did you find?”

“Nothing.”

“You didn’t come across anyone? And you don’t remember what happened to your crew?”

Lafayette’s brow furrows, and he’s clearing thinking hard. But then there’s a strange whirring sound, and Alex jumps back slightly when blue sparks sputter out from his temple.

“I’m sorry,” Lafayette says. “I can’t seem to access those memories.”

“What about how you got here?” Eliza asks next. “How did you find the planet?”

Lafayette gives them both a long look, as if he finds the question weird. “With a map. How else?”

Alex perks up again. “A map?” he asks. “You mean like this?” He digs into his jacket pocket, frowning when he doesn’t feel the map against his fingertips, but something else entirely. When he pulls out a metal fork moments later, time seems to freeze. 

“Ah,” Lafayette says. “No. I can’t say my map looked quite like that. Is that what maps look like nowadays? How odd.”

“Alex, what is that?” Eliza asks, ignoring Lafayette’s comment. “Where’s the map? How did - “

“Bellamy,” Alex hisses, and he hurls the fork across the room. “Dammit!”

“Bellamy? What do you mean? What did he do?”

“He’s a Morph,” Alex says, bringing a hand up to rub at his face in frustration. “He...he said that he wasn’t that powerful, but I think he was lying. I mean, of course he was, that shouldn’t be a surprise. When him and Jefferson broke in, he saw me searching for the map. He must have spotted it first and made me think I grabbed the real one.”

“So he has the real map?”

Alex nods. “Fuck.” Could this day get any worse?

“But…” Eliza frowns and shakes her head. “Wouldn’t he have told Aaron? Why did he continue to come after us? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Maybe Bellamy couldn’t get to Aaron in time.”

“All he had to do was run above deck and shout that he had the map. Or tell Jefferson. He was in the room with him, after all. It should have been easy.”

Alex chews at his lower trip. Eliza has a point. Why would Bellamy keep it a secret? Why wouldn’t he tell anyone in his crew? And he must have known that Alex would figure it out eventually. "I don't know," he breathes out eventually, his head starting to hurt. "I don't know."

“This all sounds quite complicated,” Lafayette chimes in, and Alex snorts in agreement. “I’m sorry that you are all so confused, but I am not sorry you are here! It has been a long time since I’ve been a host. Now…” Lafayette stands and claps his hands together. “Humans still need to eat, correct? Because I do not, but I am more than happy to go out and find something for you.”

Alex shares a smile with Eliza, both of them probably having the same thought that it would be amusing to see what Lafayette would scrounge up for them. “That’s okay. Honestly, I’d rather just sleep.” Maybe after shutting his eyes for a few hours, things will start to make more sense.

“Oh, yes, yes! Sleep! And I will watch over your friend.”

Eliza looks like she wants to argue, but after a moment, she just nods her head. So her and Alex shuffle over to one side of the room, both of them taking off their jackets and using them as pillows.

“None of this makes sense,” Eliza murmurs, her eyes on the ceiling. “One minute I think I understand everything, but then…” She trails off and shakes her head. “I don’t know who to trust anymore. Alex…” she peers over at him. “How are we going to get out of here? We don’t even have the map now.”

Alex swallows hard, and he reaches out to take one of Eliza’s hands. “We’ll find a way.  I promise.” He knows how empty the words sound, and based off of the half smile Eliza gives him, he knows that she doesn’t believe them.

But she keeps a hold of his hand, and soon enough, the events of the past day seem to catch up with Alex all at once, and he feels his eyelids grow heavy.

-

A loud crash followed by a curse wakes Alex some time later, and he sits up quickly, arms flailing in surprise.

“What? What’s happening? What’s wrong?”

“I dropped breakfast!”

Alex rubs at his eyes, and then takes in the sight of Lafayette standing in the doorway with a make-shift apron on and a pile of metal bowls at his feet.

“Don’t worry about it, Laf,” Eliza says, and Alex turns to see her at Theodosia’s side, and then he sees that Theodosia is sitting up, and she’s taking small sips of water from the flask Eliza has held up to her mouth.

“Theodosia!” Alex says, getting up to go over to her. “Or, uh, Captain, sorry, I - “

“Theodosia is fine,” she tells him, giving a tired wave of her hand. “At this point, I believe we are all on a first name basis. And I really must commend you on your landing, Alex. It was quite impressive.”

“But you got hurt.”

“One broken rib is barely cause for concern.”

Alex is about to argue with that, but then he hears Lafayette muttering under his breath, and he turns to see him gathering up the bowls he dropped, and Alex notices that the floor is covered in a weird green liquid with brown blobs of some kind of meat, and he is suddenly very grateful that Lafayette dropped whatever food he had made.

“A whole morning wasted,” Lafayette wails, and Alex has to bite back a laugh.

“Lafayette, seriously, it’s fine. You’ve already done enough.”

“But I just do not want you all to leave because you hate me!”

“Hate you? Laf, you’re basically our hero.”

Lafayette stares at him with wide eyes, and then he’s dropping the bowls again and striding over to Alex, wrapping him in a big hug.  “That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” he says, squeezing Alex tightly. “You are all so nice. Even your other friend was very nice to me.”

Alex pulls back with a frown. “Our other friend?”

“Yes. The one I met while looking for food. The one with the metal arm.”

Alex’s whole body goes cold, and he shares a scared look with Eliza, but Theodosia just sits up straighter.

“Lafayette, where did you see this man? What did he want?”

“He wanted to know where you were.”

“Did you tell him?”

“I - “

A muffled shout from outside cuts of Lafayette’s response, and Alex pulls further away from Lafayette to run over to the window, peeking out to see Aaron standing at the bottom of the hill, staring right back up at him.

“Fuck,” Alex hisses, and he steps back, but it’s too late.

“Alexander,” Aaron shouts. “I just want to talk! It’s only me, and I’m unarmed.”

Alex turns his back on the window and runs his palms over his pants. “What do we do? What do we - “

“I want to talk about the map,” Aaron continues. “I know we can come to a negotiation. We can all get out of this alive.”

“He still doesn’t know about the map,” Eliza murmurs,  and she stands. “Bellamy still hasn’t told him.”

“But _why_?”

Eliza shakes her head. “I don’t know. But it’s like you said. He must know that you would find out. Meaning...meaning maybe he wanted you to find out, and only you.” She looks at Alex, her eyes lighting up. “He wants you to go to him.”

“What?”

“It’s the only thing that makes sense. Bellamy wants you to go find him, and for some reason he isn’t telling Aaron about it. Meaning we need to make sure it stays that way. You have to lie to Aaron about where the map really is. You have to act like you still have it.”   


“She’s right,” Theodosia says. “I don’t quite understand it myself, but it is the only reasonable answer.”

“Reasonable,” Alex repeats weakly, and he laughs. “How is any of this _reasonable_? This is crazy.”

“Alexander!” Aaron sounds closer now. “I don’t have time to waste.”

“You have to go talk to him,” Eliza whispers, stepping closer to him. “Alex, it has to be you.”

“Eliza, I-I can’t.” Alex shakes his head, and runs a hand through his hair, tugging at the strands. “I can’t do it, I…” He trails off, not wanting to admit how much it hurts seeing Aaron, let alone talking to him. It messes with his brain. “I can’t.”

“You have to,” Eliza tells him, putting her hands on his shoulders. “Alex, he trusts you.” She gives him small smile when he scoffs at that. “He does, and I think you know that. I think you mess with him as much as he messes with you.”

“And what? You expect me to feel sympathy for him because of that?”

“No,” Eliza says slowly. “Not exactly. I meant that he won’t be able to tell if you lie about the map, and where it really is. You distract him. So it has to be you.”

Alex swallows, and he can feel his hands shaking, but he nods, and turns towards the door. He takes a deep breath, and then reaches out to touch the doorknob. Right before he steps outside, he hears Lafayette ask, “That man? He is a bad man?” but the door closes behind him before Eliza responds.

Once outside, Alex peers down the hill, noticing for the first time that Aaron is leaning heavily on a tree branch, as if using it for a crutch, and Alex remembers that, thanks to him and Theodosia, his leg probably isn't working very well. So Alex slowly makes his way down to Aaron, trying to take deep breaths and get his nerves under control as he does.

“Alexander.” Aaron gives him a tentative smile as he reaches him, which Alex doesn’t return. Aaron sighs, rubbing at the back of his neck as he stares, his eyes searching Alex’s face for something. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“You mean you’re glad the _map_ is okay,” Alex corrects, figuring he should start the lie as quickly as possible. He watches Aaron’s expression twist at his words. “There’s no point in pretending anymore, Aaron. We both know where your loyalty lies, and it isn’t with me. And mine isn’t with you.”

“Alexander,” Aaron starts again, limping over to him and drawing Alex’s eyes down to his leg, which seems to be oozing a strange, black substance. “What you heard me say, it wasn’t true.” He pauses in front of Alex, his eyes on his, gaze unwavering. “At least not the parts about you,” Aaron murmurs. “I-“

“Stop,” Alex cuts in, his tone harsher than he means it to be. “Just stop lying to me, Aaron.”

“I’m not! That’s what I’m trying to tell you, if you would just lis-“

“I’m not listening to you anymore!” Alex shouts, shoving at Aaron’s chest. “You’re just telling me what you think I want to hear, I’m not stupid!” He shoves at Aaron again, his anger getting the better of him. “If I didn’t have the map you wouldn’t give a damn about me! You would have killed me back on the ship!” He goes to shove Aaron again, but Aaron’s hands wrap around his wrists, stopping him.

“Don’t you get it, Alexander?” Aaron asks, his eyes flashing. He tugs Alex closer, their faces inches apart. “Don’t you get why I said what I did? Why I told Jefferson I didn’t care? It’s because I _do_ care, Alexander.” Aaron tugs at him again, his eyes pleading. “But I _had_ to lie, I _had_ to tell Jefferson I was just using you. They were all getting suspicious, thinking that I was losing sight of the goal. They would have killed us both.”

Alex tries to pull away from Aaron, but his grip is too strong. “I don’t believe you,” he bites out, continuing to struggle against him. How can he believe Aaron? He wants to, god, does he want to, but he can’t let himself make that mistake again.

“That’s your choice,” Aaron tells him softly. “But that is the truth.” He releases Alex, watching with a steady gaze as Alex stumbles backwards, rubbing at his wrists. Alex knows he’s just waiting, not wanting to ask for what he really came here for.

“I’m not giving you the map,” Alex says bluntly, figuring they might as well get to the point. He holds his ground as Aaron’s expression turns sour. “You might as well just leave.”

“I need that map, Alexander.” Aaron says the words calmly, but Alex can see the twitch in his jaw, and the way his hands are clenching. “That treasure is mine.”

“Says who?”

“The treasure is all I have.” 

“Well that’s your problem, not mine.”

“ _Alexander_.” Aaron sounds frustrated now, which makes Alex smirk. “We can work together. We can - “

Alex throws his head back and laughs, the sound echoing strangely in the space around them. “Work together? You want to work together? It’s a little late for that.”

Aaron’s mouth twitches, and he rubs at his bad leg. “It doesn’t have to be too late,” he says quietly, almost earnestly.

“No,” Alex says slowly. “I guess it doesn’t _have_ to be too late. But it is. It was too late the moment you threatened my friends.”

“But - “

“If you had to choose right now between getting the map and finding the treasure, but having to hurt me or one of my friends in order to do it, or saving me and my friends but not finding the treasure, which would you choose?”

Aaron stares at him, and his mouth opens, but nothing comes out. The moment stretches on, and Alex nods, letting out another laugh.

“Right. I thought so. I’m not making any deals with you, Aaron, so…” Alex starts to turn, starts to leave, but then Aaron calls his name, and he sounds so desperate that Alex finds himself pausing and turning back to look at Aaron.

“Please,” he says. “Just...just hear me out, just - “

“Hear you out? You think you deserve that from me? No. No, I’m done, Aaron. You don’t care about anything except that treasure, which is...is mind blowing, to me.” Alex shakes his head. “How can anything be that important?”

Aaron’s whole expression twitches, and he takes a small step forward. “That treasure is owed to me.”

“ _Owed_ to you? What does that even mean?” Alex throws his hands up in the air in frustration. He looks at Aaron, waiting, but the man remains silent. “Come on! You want to gain my trust? Then tell me what the fuck that means!” He takes a step closer to Aaron, looking up at him with a firm glare. “Tell me something real.”

“Something real?” Aaron whispers, stepping away with a laugh. He stumbles a little, reaching out for something to steady him and connecting with the rock behind him. He collapses onto it, his shoulders hunched as he stares down at his hands. “You want to know something real?” he asks, looking back up at Alex. “You want to know why I need the treasure?”

“Yes,” Alex says after a moment, the word hanging heavy in the air. “I want to know why it matters so much, why it’s worth killing for.”

“You want to know why,” Aaron echoes, his eyes taking on a distant look. “You want to know why I even started this obsession?” He tries to grin at Alex, but it comes across as more of a scowl. “You want to know why I went through so much for all of this? Why I’ve been a pirate since the age of thirteen?” Aaron grimaces, his metal hand coming up to trace the scars across his face. “You want to know why I became the way I am?”

“Yes,” Alex says again, his voice faint and unsure even to his own ears.

“My mother and father abandoned me for that treasure,” Aaron snaps out, his tone bitter, and Alex startles slightly at the admission. “That treasure is the reason I grew up without parents.”

“But...you said they were naval officers! You said - “

“I know what I said,” Aaron interrupts. “And I wasn’t lying about that. They _were_ naval officers. Some of the best. And that’s why they were chosen to go after Hanover.”

“To...to go after him?”

Aaron nods, and he stares down at his hands for a few, long moments before continuing. “It took me years to get the full story because, you see, the mission was such a failure that the navy destroyed records of it, said that my parents died during a routine voyage. But I knew. I knew they were hiding something.” 

“You can’t know that for sure, you - “

“No one would talk to me about my parents,” Aaron continues. “All I would get out of naval officers if I ran across them as a kid was that my parents were great people, and their death was ‘such a tragic loss,’ as if I didn’t know that already. But none of them would go beyond that. And when I wanted to join the naval academy, sure, they humored me and let me take the tests, but it was clear to them that it’d be too dangerous, that I’d ask too many questions. So when I completely lost it during the behavioral exam, when I accused them of hiding something, they had the perfect reason to not let me in.”

Alex swallows. So this is what Aaron meant when he said that this was about more than just the treasure.

“All I wanted,” Aaron says, “was to for someone to tell me about my parents. But everyone was _lying_. The people you’re supposed to be able to turn to, the naval officers, all of them were lying. So I decided to figure the truth out for myself. It took years of tracking down naval ships until I found someone at a high enough rank who knew all the details.”

“The details?”

“Hanover had been a threat for years,” Aaron continues, “long before he disappeared to Treasure Planet. He slaughtered people and seemed to vanish seconds later. He was a national threat by that point. So my parents were chosen to go undercover and join his crew to figure out how he was doing what he was doing. And they were deep undercover. They had to gain his trust. So they aided Hanover in hurting people, in stealing treasure, and then they came here, to this god forsaken planet.” Aaron looks around them, his eyes burning. “They came here, and they never came back.” 

Alex’s mind is spinning, so many things clicking together. Aaron had been trying to tell him this for so long. “That’s what you meant when you said everything you do is for your parents.” He watches as Aaron nods before staggering to his feet, wincing when he puts pressure on his injured leg.

“This planet,” Aaron breathes out, “this treasure, is the only connection I have to my parents.” His eyes turn to Alex’s, and Alex flinches back at the sudden rage and pain inside of them. “And I’m not letting it slip through my fingers.” He whispers those last words, as if he’s saying them to himself, and then all of that anger in his eyes flicker out, and he looks at Alex with a small smile. “That’s why.”

Silence hangs between them after that, Alex reeling from all the information. He doesn't want to believe Aaron. He doesn't want to believe that the same story Alex loved reading about as a child must have been a source of nightmares for Aaron. But the ironic thing is, Alex does believe Aaron. 

“I’m sorry about your parents,” Alex murmurs after a few more minutes, surprised by the sincerity of the words. “I didn’t…I’m sorry.”

Aaron just nods, his face tight and his jaw visibly clenching. It’s clear how hard it was for him to tell that story, so Alex waits, giving him time to collect himself before taking a deep breath, preparing himself for what he’s going to say next.

“I still can’t give you the map,” Alex says quickly, noticing the way Aaron’s entire body jerks at the words. “I can’t.”

“You still don’t believe m-“

“I believe the story,” Alex interrupts, starting to back away. “But I don’t trust you. I don’t trust that you won’t hurt me or my friends or anyone who gets in your way. I don’t believe anything else you’ve said.” Alex pauses, and he swallows, fighting back the burning he’s starting to feel in his eyes. “Everything you’ve ever said to me still might have been a lie. You can tell me it’s not,” Alex says quickly when Aaron opens his mouth to say something, “but I’ll never actually know.”

“But you _do_ know,” Aaron whispers, his tone pleading. “You _do_. You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met, Alexander. The second you laid eyes on me, you guessed who I was.”

“And then completely dismissed it seconds later.”

Aaron shakes his head. “I don’t think you ever dismissed it entirely. I think, in the back of your head, you always knew. You just didn’t want to admit it to yourself.”

“You know what _I_ think?” Alex asks, anger starting to bubble beneath his skin. “I think that’s just what you’re telling yourself to try and make yourself feel better. You want to believe that because it would make you feel less guilty about lying to to me and leading me on. Because the truth is, I really didn’t know. I didn’t.”

“Alexander, just - “

“I liked you, Aaron. I liked you and you knew that, and you _used_ me because of that.  All of that stuff about…about greatness and light coming off of me,” Alex shakes his head, biting at his lip. “I’ll never know if you meant that.”

“Alexander,” Aaron says, his voice cracking on his name. “I don’t know what to tell you.” He looks at him helplessly. “I don’t know how to convince you that I wasn’t lying.”

“You can’t.”

“Alexander,” Aaron says again, desperation lacing his voice. “I was trying to protect you.”

“Bullshit.”

“You don’t understand.” Aaron limps closer, hands coming to up to cup Alex’s face. “I kept trying to tell you, to explain, but I...I knew you’d react this way and - “

“How else would I react?” Alex bites out, but Aaron keeps talking.

“ - if you just listen to me, I know I can figure something out.  I’m still trying to protect you, Alexander. I’m - “

“Stop it,” Alex tells him, taking in a shaky breath. “Just stop it. I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore.”

“I care about you, Alexander. I just...this treasure, I just need to _see_ it. Then we can leave. I’ll get you off the planet safe, I’ll do anything to - “ He cuts off quickly, straightening slightly, and the next second, Alex realizes why.

There’s the sound of a twig snapping, and then what sounds like footsteps, but then there’s only silence.

They both breathe in and out slowly, ears straining to pick up any more noise. Then Aaron’s eyes find his again, and suddenly, Aaron’s whole demeanor changes.

He snarls, metal hand coming up to fist at Alex’s shirt, tugging hard at his collar. “Either you give me that map,” he breathes out, his change in mood taking Alex by surprise, “or I’ll take it from you.” He pulls Alex close, making it impossible to miss the cold determination on his face. “I’ll get it however I need to.”

Still trying to catch up to this shift in mood, Alex brings his own hands up to wrap around Aaron’s arm, trying to pull him off.“You’ll have to kill me,” he gasps out, his shirt uncomfortably tight around his neck. “Because you did teach me one thing. ” He squirms against Aaron’s grip. “Stick to it, right?” He laughs a little at Aaron’s surprised look. “You told me that, to choose a path and stick to it. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to make sure that you never see one piece of that treasure.”

Alex cries out as he’s thrown down suddenly, his palms breaking his fall and scraping against the rocks on the ground. He quickly sits up, pushing himself back and away from Aaron, who, strangely, is staring down at him with an almost proud expression. But then he turns away with a growl of frustration, and Alex wonders if he'd just been imagining things.

“You either give me the map by sunrise tomorrow,” he says, voice low and threatening, his back still to Alex. “Or I will come back, and I will take it from you, in whatever way is necessary. Now get out of my sight. ”

Alex scrambles to his feet, casting one last look at Aaron’s back before scurrying up the hill. He slips back inside the hut, locking the door quickly before he turns to stare at his friends.

“Well?” Eliza asks. “What did he want?”

“The map,” Alex tells her. “And...and to explain, or, try and explain, why he’s doing all of this. It’s...” Alex trails off, and then shakes his head. It’s not important to get into the details. Especially when he's still trying to take it all in. “The important thing is, he doesn’t know that we don’t have the real map. He’s giving us a day to surrender. So I need to go and get the map before then. And maybe we can find the treasure first, and a way out.”

“Shouldn’t we all just go to the ship? See if we can escape on it?”

“No,” Theodosia cuts in. “All of us going would arouse too much noise and suspicion. Not to mention we are no match for Bellamy and Lee, at least not with me in this condition and with one of us not having a weapon.”

“Well I should at least go with Alex,” Eliza starts. “I - “

“It’s better if I go alone,” Alex says, not really knowing if that’s true. But he can’t risk Eliza getting hurt. “I think I can manage to find my way. Lafayette…” Alex turns to the android. “Could you just give me a rough description of the terrain?”

“I can do better than that,” Lafayette tells him, and then he’s walking to the middle of the room and moving a rug on the floor to reveal a trap door. “I can take you through the shortcut!”

“Shortcut?”

“Yes! This planet has a series of underground tunnels. I have explored them numerous times, and know them very well. I can guide you! Please, let me accompany you.”

Alex intends to say no, but the fact that Lafayette can probably help him get to the ship and back before sunrise has Alex hesitating. That, and the hopeful look on Lafayette’s face.

“Okay, sure,” he says. “That’d be great.”

Lafayette claps his hands together and pulls Alex into another hug. “Oh, I am so excited! An adventure! Wonderful, wonderful!”

“Alex.”

He pulls away from Lafayette to see Theodosia holding her gun out to him.

“Take it,” she says. “You can’t go unarmed.”

“Lafayette can have mine, too,” Eliza starts, but Alex shakes his head.

“No, no. You should keep one. Aaron said we have till sunrise, but...but you never know.” He goes over to Theodosia and takes her gun and holster, attaching them to his hip before turning to look at Lafayette. “You ready?”

Lafayette nods. “Yes. Don’t worry.” He says that to Eliza. “I will keep him safe. I am a very good fighter, I - “ Lafayette stops talking suddenly, his eyes taking on a distant look, but then he shakes his head, his smile just as bright as ever. “Yes! I am ready!”

Alex blinks at the strange behavior, but then Lafayette is opening the trap door and jumping down into the tunnel below, so Alex takes a deep breath and walks toward it himself, pausing at the entrance. He turns to look at Theodosia, unable to keep himself from asking the question on the tip of his tongue.

"Theodosia, do you know what happened to Aaron's parents?"

Her brow furrows. "What do you mean?"

"They were naval officers, right? I...how did they die?"

"I'm not really...when I was looking over Aaron's files before hiring him for this voyage, the reports only said that they died during a routine mission. It was a great loss for the navy."

"A great loss for the navy," Alex repeats, unable to keep Aaron's pained expression from surfacing in his mind. "Yeah."

"Why are you asking?"

Alex shakes his head slowly, and then he sighs. “Do you...do you think he...is there a chance that not everything Aaron said was a lie?” He can hear the desperation in his voice, and it makes him wince. “It’s just...Aaron was saying that he...that he cares and that he didn’t want to lie to me, and I just…”

Eliza comes up to him and  places a hand on his shoulder, squeezing. “I think that if Aaron were to fall for anyone, it would make sense for it to be you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You two are so similar.”

Alex snorts. “Gee, thanks.”

“That’s not...Alex, listen to me.” Eliza turns him slightly so that they’re facing each other, and she fixes him with a serious look. “You two are both so driven, so...so stubborn. And I...I think that nobody else could make Aaron question what he’s doing. And what he’s doing is wrong, I’m not trying to defend him, or say you’d do the same thing in the same way, I just....I think you made him doubt himself. And I think he’s angry because of that. Because...because he likes you, but he also can’t let go of this obsession with Treasure Planet.” 

The words sit strangely with Alex, and when he realizes why, his stomach churns. “My obsession with Treasure Planet put us all in danger. We’re here because of me.”

“Alex, no. We’re here because we all wanted to be. It’s not your fault.” Eliza smiles at him. “I would have come here without you, so don’t give yourself so much credit.”

That manages to pull a laugh from Alex, and he moves to wrap Eliza in a hug. “I’ll see you soon.”

“You better.”

Alex laughs again, and then he pulls away, nodding at Eliza before he turns to look down the trap door and the darkness below.

He has a map to find. And, hopefully, some answers to get. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LAFAYETTE HAS ARRIVED. And much more about him will be revealed in chapters to come.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading. Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation. So leave them here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies! :D


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is SO LONG but it is also VERY IMPORTANT. But I do apologize for how much dialogue there is.
> 
> Enjoy x

The walk underground takes longer than Alex thought it would. It feels like hours, but he knows that’s impossible. They didn’t come that far from the ship. Maybe it just feels so long because Alex’s head is still spinning from his conversation with Aaron, the memory of it weighing him down.

More things make sense now, like Aaron’s strange behavior whenever Alex brought up his parents, and some of the conversations he overheard him and Bellamy having. But the fact that these things make more sense also mean that, in a way, Alex is more confused than ever.

Does Aaron really care about him? Is he trying to protect them all? Or is he just lying, still hell bent on reaching the treasure in any way he can? Is he just trying to win Alex's sympathy? Whichever is true, it’s still clear that Aaron wants to see the treasure no matter what, and that he’s going to force Alex to lead him to it.

At least Alex knows the reason now. At least there _is_ a reason. Not that it just magically makes everything okay, but Alex gets it, he does. Aaron has attached the memory of his parents to the treasure. He thinks seeing it, getting it, will make him feel better about losing them.

If things were different, Alex might even help him get there willingly. But Aaron threatened him, threatened his friends, so how can Alex just forgive him? It’s not that easy, although part of him wishes it were.

“Ah, here we are!” Lafayette announces, pulling Alex from his thoughts. Lafayette points up, and then stretches as tall as he can, hands pressing at the ceiling above them until it budges and opens. “Here, I will lift you up.”

Pride only a little wounded, Alex allows Lafayette to boost him up until he can climb out, and seconds later Lafayette is crawling out behind him.

“Ah, yes, that is a nice ship.”

Alex hums in agreement as they look up the ship in front of them. Bellamy and Lee must have landed and docked it at some point, which Alex is grateful for. It will make sneaking on board a lot easier.

In fact, this will be ridiculously easy, seeing as a rope ladder is hanging over one side of the ship.

“Your friend must really want to speak to you,” Lafayette says as they walk toward the ladder.

“He’s not my friend.”

Lafayette doesn’t respond to that, which Alex is grateful for. Instead they climb up the ship in silence, and Alex breathes out a sigh of relief when the deck appears to be empty.

“We’ll go below deck,” Alex murmurs to Lafayette. “Check the brig first. That’s probably where they’re keeping John and…” Alex stumbles over his words, remembering what Jefferson had said. “And Herc, if they’re okay.”

He leads Lafayette down the stairs, his hand shaking a little as he holds his gun out in front of him. But his caution is unnecessary, and they reach the brig without running into anyone, and Alex breathes out another sigh of relief when he sees John standing in one of the cells. 

“John!”

“Alex?” He walks closer to the to the cell door, eyes widening. “Fuck, what are you doing here? How did you - who’s that?”

Alex looks back at Lafayette, who he had momentarily forgotten about. “Oh, that’s Lafayette. He’s...well, it’s a long story. He - “

“I rescued your friends,” Lafayette proclaims, and he brushes past Alex suddenly, stepping up close to the cell. “And who are you?”

“John Laurens. I…” John pauses when Lafayette sticks an arm through the bars of the cell door, holding out a hand for him to shake, which he does, throwing an amused look over at Alex. “Nice to meet you.”

“Oh, likewise.”

Alex rolls his eyes, because really? This is not the time. “Okay,” he says. “Enough of that. John, do you know where Herc is?”

John shakes his head, and Alex feels his stomach sink. “Haven’t seen them. But I also haven’t seen anyone since Lee threw me in here. But if you get me out, I can help you take him and Bellamy down, we can - “

“No. No, it’s too dangerous. Besides I...I need to talk to Bellamy. And I know that sounds crazy, but just...I’ll come back for you, I promise.”

John gives him a long look, probably teetering on the edge of an “I told you so” speech about all of this, but after a moment, he just nods. “Fine. But you should know, I did overhear Lee and him talking about using the cannons to blow you all to pieces if need be, so.”

Alex takes a deep breath, and lets it out slowly. Then he’s turning to look at Lafayette, who had let out a small laugh at the words.

“This will be no problem,” he tells Alex and John. “I will simply cut the power from the cannons.”

“You can do that?”

“It is very easy. Just show me where the electrical source panel is on the ship.”

“Uh...” Alex peers over at John, who shrugs. “I have no idea where that is.”

Lafayette sighs. “You are very lucky you met me,” he tells Alex, and then he’s smiling. “Do not worry. I will find it myself. A few snips here and a few snips there, and no one will be able to use those cannons.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Alex says. “I’ll come find you when I’m done talking to Bellamy.”

“Are you sure it’s not a trap?” John asks, and Alex laughs.

“No. I’m not sure at all.”

John nods. “Well, good luck then.”

“Thanks.”

And with that, Alex and Lafayette leave, still walking cautiously. They part ways at the end of the next hallway, Lafayette murmuring something about Alex not needing to worry because he's not able to electrocute himself before he’s disappearing around the corner, leaving Alex to find Bellamy by himself.

He tries the kitchen first, leaving it quickly when he sees no one inside. Then he goes to where the rest of the crew slept, once again finding the room empty. Unsure as where to check next, Alex pauses and thinks, and then wonders if Bellamy would really choose _that_ spot to hide out and wait for him.

Alex slowly makes his way down to Theodosia’s quarters, but when he pushes open the door, it’s not Bellamy who is waiting for him.

“Herc!” Alex puts his gun back in its holster and rushes forward when he sees his friend standing in front of one of Theodosia’s bookshelves, and he pulls them into a hug. “You’re okay! I’m so glad to see you. What happened? What - ”

“Slow down,” Herc tells him with a chuckle, and they move away to look at Alex. “Damn. You look like shit.”

Alex runs a hand through his hair and shrugs. “Yeah, well, crash landing will do that. Anyway, tell me what happened with you. How did - “ Alex cuts off, realizing something. He glances around the room. “How are you just in here? Why aren’t you locked up with John? And Jefferson, he said he shot you, he said - ”

“Alex.” Herc holds up a hand. “Just...slow down, okay? And keep your _voice_ down. It’s...I still don’t really know how to explain it myself. Bellamy told me to stay here, so that’s what I’ve been - “

“Bellamy told you? Bellamy knows you’re alive?”

Herc blinks at that. “Of course he does. He’s the reason I am alive.”

“He - what?”

“I thought you knew! I thought…” Herc trails off and shakes their head. “You know Bellamy is a Morph, but he’s stronger than he let on.”

Alex snorts. “Yeah, I caught on to that.”

“He saved me. He made Jefferson think he shot me, and then he hid me here and explained everything.”

“What do you mean explained _everything_?” If Bellamy explained everything, he doesn’t understand how Herc doesn’t appear to be angry. “Explained what? What did he - “ Alex cuts off quickly when the sound of footsteps reaches them, and he looks at Herc. “Is that Bellamy coming?”

“I don’t know,” Herc whispers, and they reach out for Alex. “But if it’s Lee, you need to hide. Bellamy is still concealing me from him, so Lee won’t be able to see me, but he’ll see you, and he’ll - “

Before Herc can say anymore, the door is bursting open, and Lee steps inside, his eyes landing on Alex immediately.

“You,” he spits, expression furious as he points his gun at Alex. “You just don’t know when to quit, do you?”

Alex steps away from Herc despite the panicked look his friend gives him. He’s not about to alert Lee to the fact that anything weird is going on. He didn’t come onto this ship to end up getting one of his friends hurt.

“I guess not,” Alex says. “It’s one of my annoying quirks.” His fingers twitch towards his holster, but Lee just laughs.

“Don’t even think about it.” He steps closer to Alex, gun pointing at his chest. “So you thought you’d play the hero, huh? You thought you’d come and rescue your friend who’s locked up? I don’t think so.” 

Lee moves his hand suddenly, the barrel of his gun connecting hard with Alex’s cheek, the force of it sending him him sprawling to the ground.

“Instead of saving him,” Lee continues, pushing at Alex until he’s lying on his back. “You just ended your own life.” Lee kneels over him, straddling him, and he moves his gun back up to Alex’s chest. “I really should wait until Thomas gets back. He’d be so disappointed to not be the one who gets to shoot you.”

Alex opens his mouth to speak, groaning when the stretch of his jaw causes his whole face to flare in pain.

Lee just laughs. “Maybe I’ll keep you for him. Maybe I’ll just beat you senseless instead. God, I hated having to walk around and take your shit, knowing that I could have easily killed you at any turn. You’re nothing.”  Lee’s other hand creeps up to Alex’s neck, fingers wrapping around it.

“Don’t,” Alex gasps out, but the words are directed at Herc, who he had seen take a small step forward from the corner of his eye. “Don’t.”

“Begging won’t help you,” Lee continues, starting to squeeze, cutting of Alex’s air supply. “You know, I might not be able to resist killing you, I - “

Lee is ripped away from him, his gun clattering to the floor as he lets out a startled yell, and Alex breathes in deep, coughing at the burning sensation in his throat. When he manages to get his breathing under control, he blinks through tears to see that Bellamy is the one who pulled Lee off of him, and is now fighting Lee himself.

“I knew you were a traitor,” Lee growls as he breaks out of Bellamy’s grip and pulls a knife from his boot. “I knew it.” 

He lunges for Bellamy, and Herc cries out, but Bellamy sidesteps the movement easily, grabbing at Lee’s wrist and twisting.

Lee curses in pain, but then he knees Bellamy in the stomach and wrenches his wrist free, swinging the knife down again and managing to catch Bellamy on the arm.

“You’re not going to make it out of this,” Lee tells him. “None of you are. I’ll get a message to Jefferson, tell him that you and Burr are in on this together. Betraying your crew means death, you know that, Bellamy.”

“I do,” Bellamy murmurs in agreement, and then he lurches forward, hitting Lee hard in the stomach, and once the man is doubled over in pain, Bellamy hooks a foot behind Lee’s knee, knocking it forward and causing him to lose balance. Then all of a sudden the knife is in Bellamy’s hand, and then it’s embedded in Lee’s stomach, and Alex inhales deep through his nose, looking away quickly but hearing the thud of a body hitting the ground all the same.

Bellamy straightens, breathing hard, and his eyes go to Herc first, and then to Alex. “So, you got my message.”

Alex stares at Bellamy in shock, forces his gaze to not move to Lee’s body where its laying motionless, and he lets out a weak laugh, feeling a little nauseous. “Your message?”

“The map,” Bellamy clarifies. He digs into his jacket pocket, taking out what must be the real map. Then, to further Alex’s shock, he tosses it to him. “There, it’s yours. Now, I need you to listen to me. I - “

“How do I know this is the real one?” Alex interrupts, not trusting for one second that Bellamy would just give him the map that easily, but Bellamy smiles at him.

“Open it. I have no idea what it does once it’s opened, so I can’t manipulate its appearance. At least not convincingly.”

Alex hesitates and looks over to Herc, who gives him a small nod. So Alex fumbles with the orb, fingers pressing at it and twisting until it opens, the familiar green light spilling from it until the room is enveloped by the hologram of the universe.

Bellamy laughs, his head tilted up as he stares. “Amazing,” he murmurs, and then his gaze is back on Alex when he closes the orb abruptly. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” Alex asks, not really sure what his face looks like, but he can guess. “You mean why am I looking at you in disgust? Oh, I don’t know, a lot of reasons. One being that you just _killed_ someone.”

Bellamy levels him with an unimpressed look. “Lee would have killed you. Or at least tortured you. And you heard him. He was going to tell Jefferson. He was going to ruin everything. I couldn’t let him do that. But sorry. I didn’t know you were so attached to him.”

“Bell,” Herc says, sounding exasperated, but Bellamy just shakes his head.

“What? I get it, okay? You’re mad. Fine. But don’t go judging every little thing I do or attribute something malicious to my actions.”

“Every _little_ thing? You _killed_ him!”

“You’ve killed someone before.”

“That was different! That was - “

“How?” Bellamy interjects, his expression angry. “How was that different? You did it to protect yourself, right? To stop Adams from hurting you and from hurting anyone else on the ship. Well that’s what I just did. Lee would have hurt someone. I was trying to protect you.”

Alex snorts. He’s getting tired of hearing that, especially coming from the people who have done nothing but hurt him. “More like trying to protect yourself and Aaron. You just want to make sure you guys can still get the treasure. That’s all you care about.”

“Would I have saved them - “ Bellamy points to Herc with an angry jerk of his hand “ - if that was all I cared about?”

The question stumps Alex into silence, and he has to settle for glaring at Bellamy as a response, which makes the man give him a satisfied smirk.

“That’s what I thought.”

“Weren’t you supposed to be talking about something?” Herc interjects, and Bellamy pouts slightly. “Explaining something, right? Bellamy, come on, _talk_ to him.”

“Fine.” Bellamy crosses his arms, and his eyes flick over Alex’s face, and he lets out a heavy sigh. “Has Aaron talked to you yet? That might cut down on some of the explaining I have to do.”

“I - yes? I mean, kind of.” Alex really doesn't want to get into the details of that conversation with Bellamy.

“Did he explain everything?”

“If by everything you mean telling me about his parents and then telling me the same bullshit you just did about wanting to protect us, then yes.”

“It isn’t _bullshit_.” Bellamy uncrosses his arms, and he takes a step towards him. “God, Alex, don’t you get it? Don’t you see what we were trying to do? The plan was to keep you all safe, to get you out of here, to - “

“How was that the plan? I _heard_ the plan, Bellamy. The plan was to overpower us and then kill us afterwards. Don’t act any differently.”

Bellamy stares at him, his eyebrows drawn together, and then he puts his hands on his hips. “Wait, didn’t...did Aaron not tell you _anything_?”

“I told you what he said,” Alex says coldly. “He told me about his parents, and then he just kept saying he was doing what he was doing to protect us.”

“But he didn’t give you specifics?” Bellamy asks, and when Alex shakes his head, he sighs, a small laugh escaping. “Aaron,” he mutters to himself. “You goddamn coward.”

Alex feels a spike of confusion at those words. “What do you - “

“The plan you overheard,” Bellamy starts, “wasn’t actually the plan. It never was. Or...I’ll be honest.” Bellamy takes a deep breath and meet’s Alex’s gaze. “We didn’t know what the _exact_ plan would be when we started the voyage. There wasn't much time to plan, but we didn’t...we didn’t come into this trip wanting to kill the crew, and we definitely didn’t want to after - “ Bellamy cuts himself off, eyes moving to Herc. “Well, after we got to know you.”

Alex bites back his  initial retort of “How nice of you,” and instead goes with, “What do you mean? How was that never the plan? You just made it up?”

“That was just the plan we wanted Jefferson, Madison, and Lee to believe. But Aaron, Maria, and I, well, we had another plan. We came up with it ages ago. It…” Bellamy sighs, and he rubs one hand over his forehead. “We weren’t going to act until reaching the planet. That’s the only way it would have worked. Because we needed only you, Theodosia, and Aaron to go on the planet. That way Maria and I could keep an eye on Jefferson, Madison, and Lee and protect the rest of your friends.”

“So, what?” Alex asks with a sneer. “Aaron was only going to kill me and Theodosia?”

“No!” Bellamy throws his hands in the air, and he looks so flustered and upset that Alex is overcome by a strange desire to laugh. “He was never going to kill you! He…” Bellamy trails off and he laughs, one hand running over his face. “He’s only killed three people his entire life, Alex. He wasn’t about to add two more just like that.”

Alex blinks his eyes quickly, feeling as if the floor had been ripped from beneath him. “That’s....there’s no way that’s true. I _know_ that’s not true. I...read the stories about him. About the people he killed or took hostage. And he...he didn’t deny any of it when I accused him. He...” Alex trails off there, not knowing what else to say, or how else to express his disbelief. 

Bellamy shakes his head, and his expression is sympathetic. “Don’t you get it yet? He never killed anyone. It only _looked_ like he did.”

Alex watches, understanding only starting to dawn on him when Bellamy gives a small wiggle of his fingers. “You mean you…” Alex points at his hands. “You just…”

“I made people think they saw Aaron killing someone,” Bellamy says with a nod. And then he grins. “I even change his appearance for him. I give him that creepy red eye and make his arm shinier. I basically built Aaron’s entire reputation single-handedly. Or, well, it took both hands, but you know what I mean.”

Alex stares at Bellamy for a few seconds, his head starting to hurt again, and then he starts to pace.

Is Bellamy telling the truth? It all seems so insane. But almost too insane for Bellamy to be making it. And there’s sense in it, too. Or does he just _want_ there to be sense in it? Maybe he just wants to believe what Bellamy is saying is true. 

Alex pauses, and he glances over at Bellamy, who is watching him with faint amusement on his face. “How...how would that even work? Wouldn’t the person you...you pretended to kill just show up later? I don’t - “

“Most of the time I just created someone,” Bellamy says with a shrug. “When Aaron's reputation really started to grow, everyone was so terrified of what he might do that they would just assume the person we ‘killed’ and then threw overboard was part of the crew without realizing they’d actually never seen that person before. Or, well, in some cases, we’d be on a voyage longer and get to know people, and we’d strike a deal. That’s actually how Maria joined us.”

“What do you mean strike a deal?”

“A deal to give them a way to start over. Maria was unhappy. She wanted an out, a new life. So we told her who we were and what we do. And she wanted in. So we staged a little diversion, made it look like she was another victim to the evil pirate Silver, and then she joined the crew. The three of us have been together ever since.”

Alex actually has to sit down after that, his legs feeling weak. “This is crazy,” he murmurs. “This is…”

“I know. But it’s true.”

“But why is it only you and Maria who are with him? If you’ve taken multiple hostages, then wouldn’t more people be part of your crew?”

Bellamy’s expression falters. “Well...just because we aren’t going around hurting people doesn’t mean there aren’t other pirates doing that. We’ve...we’ve lost some people. And, well, in one case, someone wanted to back out. And we let them go. But after that, we figured it was too risky to bring people in and tell them our secret if there was a chance they would want to leave. So now it’s only me and Maria who know. And, well, you two, obviously.”

Alex lets that all sink in. Or at least he tries to. He's having trouble digesting everything. He feels like he has a million questions. “But what about Jefferson and Madison? And…” his eyes flick to the body on the ground. “And Lee? They’re part of your crew. Why don’t they know?”

“They’re...recent additions,” Bellamy tells him slowly. “Things started getting more difficult. We were tracking the map, but we weren’t having any luck. We needed more help, and they just happened to be damn good pirates, so.” He shrugs. “We asked them to be part of our crew. Aaron’s reputation was enough of a temptation, and the added bonus of we’re trying to find Treasure Planet pretty much sealed the deal. But we didn't know how precarious they'd make things. They’ve only been with us about two years.”

“Yeah, well, two years should have been enough for you all to realize that Jefferson is out of his goddamn mind,” Alex mutters. “One year should have been enough time. One week, really.”

“I know. But he was a vital part of us getting this far.”

Alex shifts in his seat, choosing again to not comment on how much he doesn't care how big of a help Jefferson was. “But why did _you_ agree to help Aaron find Treasure Planet in the first place? I mean, it was his obsession, why let it be yours, too?”

Bellamy shrugs. “It’s treasure.”

“That’s it?” Alex laughs, a sour taste rising in his mouth, anger starting to flow through him again. “Money, fame, that’s all it takes?”

Bellamy arches a brow. “Oh, I’m sorry, what’s your reason for going to Treasure Planet? Money and fame, isn’t it? Don’t act like we’re so different.”

“We _are_ different! I’m not a - “

“Oh, so what? You’re not a pirate! Congratulations! You were dealt a hand in life that gave you other options, you - “

“Don’t pretend like you guys didn’t have another choice!”

Bellamy laughs, the sound harsh. “Another choice? Let me ask you a question, Alex. How many Morphs have you known?”

“I…”

“Just me, right? You’ve never come across a Morph before now. Or at least you don’t know if you have. Because we _hide_. Hiding is one of our only options. Because the other options are worse. Our powers make us the perfect pickpocket, the perfect spy, the perfect assassin. No matter their level of strength, Morphs are in high demand. If our powers get discovered, we either join up with some gang, usually unwillingly, or spend most of our lives on the run, always looking over our shoulders, which was exactly what I was doing when I first met Aaron. So, yeah, I joined him. And I don’t regret it.”

Alex clenches his jaw, an emotion close to shame trickling over him, but he pushes it away. He can’t get emotional over this. “But why did Aaron become a pirate? He could’ve - “

“Could’ve what? Joined the academy and find Treasure Planet the _acceptable_ way?” Bellamy snorts. “He tried that. They didn’t let him in. Not only that, they made it so Aaron Burr wouldn’t even be allowed to set foot on a ship. He was banned from being in the sky. A thirteen year old kid. That’s how desperate the Navy was to make sure no one found out the truth about the huge fuck up regarding his parents and making them go undercover to aid a pirate who was on a murderous rampage. So Aaron’s choices were down to staying with an uncle who beat him daily, or getting away and starting a new life.”

That feeling of shame burns a little more intensely, and Alex hunches his shoulders as he looks away from Bellamy.  All of this is too much. He doesn't know what to think anymore.

Footsteps approach slowly, and then Bellamy is kneeling in front of him. “Alex, we don’t even hurt people. We just...built a reputation around Aaron that lets us be free. How is that bad?” He leans forward with a pleading expression. “Listen, if you didn’t have your mom waiting for you back at home, if you had nothing to go back to, no direction in life, and were offered this new opportunity where you’d be free from control, from rules, and where you’d have a family, wouldn’t you take it?”

“That’s not fair,” Alex whispers, his throat constricting. “Don’t...you can’t ask me that.”

“Aaron is my family,” Bellamy tells him, his voice heavy with emotion. “Him and Maria. I love them. I’d do anything for them, and they’d do the same. Like I said, Aaron has only killed three people his entire life. One was William Patterson, and, as you know, he deserved it. The other two did, too. They were after me, and Aaron took care of them for me.”

“After you?”

Bellamy nods. “I had been stupid. I was...my family didn’t have money. I was at the market and already had two stolen apples in my pockets. I was going for a third when I got noticed using my powers. So I ran. I was on my third straight day of running when I found Aaron bleeding out in an alley, half out of his mind.”

“After he killed Patterson,” Alex says, remembering the conversation between Bellamy and Aaron he had overheard a while ago.

“Yep. Scared the shit out of me, too. Covered in blood and screaming. I had to knock him out. But I hid us, and I cleaned him up.” Bellamy pauses there, a sad smile on his lips. “He wasn’t even fourteen, then. Looked like he was twelve, to be honest. And I was sixteen and was probably more trouble than I was worth. We made quite the pair. We still do.”

Alex swallows, lips twitching up into the smallest of smiles. “What happened next?”

“I managed to shake the two guys following me, but I couldn’t just ditch Aaron. So we stuck together. I’m the one who got him his first surgery, fixed up his face and his eye.” Bellamy gives Alex a mischievous smile. “I made the guy who did it think we had a shit ton of money. But of course afterwards, when the money disappeared, it left a trail. Those two guys caught up to us again, cornered us, and so…”

“Aaron killed them.”

Bellamy nods. “And let me tell you, if he wanted to, Aaron could kill whoever chooses to stand in his way. At fourteen he took on two grown men and came out of it with only a few cracked ribs.”

Alex lets out a tired laugh. “Is that story supposed to make me less scared of him? Because it’s not working, if that was your intention.”

“Well then let me finish the story,” Bellamy tells him with a smile.  “I was there for the aftermath every time he killed someone. I saw how it affected Aaron. He broke down. Even though all the people he killed were awful people, and it was always self-defense, it still haunted him. He didn’t sleep for a week after we escaped those men. I had to carry him at a certain point, he was so tired. Alex,” Bellamy puts a hand on his knee. “Aaron is a good person. Maybe from your point of view he’s done bad things, and I get that. He’s made mistakes. But he’s a good person.”

Alex doesn’t know how to respond to that, doesn’t even know what to think about everything Bellamy just told him. All he’s realizing is that he doesn’t know Aaron at all. Today alone the guy has been three different people to Alex. First he was just Aaron, then he was Silver, and now he’s back to some form of just Aaron, but still a different Aaron than the one Alex thought he knew.

“Alex?”

At the gentle call of his name, Alex jumps slightly, and when he blinks back to awareness, he realizes he’s crying, and he wipes a hand over his face hurriedly. “I’m fine. Sorry.”

“It's okay,” Bellamy says after a few moments, and he clears his throat, moving to stand up. “Anyway. We got off topic.”

Alex laughs, the sound hollow. “What was the original topic?”

“The plan,” Bellamy says. “The whole reason I brought you here. You know, we still tried to enact it after you told Theodosia. I grabbed Herc, was trying to get to John, Maria grabbed Eliza, and Aaron kept trying to get you alone, but things just got too hectic and...well, you know the rest.”

“You never told me what Aaron’s plan was once we got onto Treasure Planet? If it had worked, if it was just him, me, and Theodosia, what was he going to do?”

Bellamy sighs. “Well, that’s the thing. I wanted him to tell you everything earlier. Weeks ago, actually. We fought about it almost constantly. I knew the longer he waited the more...upset, you’d be. So he was supposed to let you in on it sooner in the hopes that you’d, well, that you’d understand and agree to help him find the treasure. But like I said…” Bellamy smiles. “Aaron is a coward. He put it off. And then it was too late.”

“A coward…” Alex echoes, and Bellamy’s smile grows a little wider.

“He cares about you,” he murmurs. “He cares about you more than I’ve seen him care about someone in a long time. And that scared him. Suddenly, this voyage had consequences, it had stakes. He didn’t want you to hate him, so he avoided telling you. And when you overheard us, everything changed. Telling you the truth wouldn’t work anymore, you’d just think it was a lie. So he changed tactics. He needs you to be angry at him so Jefferson didn't catch on. He needs to keep control if there’s any chance of all of us getting out of this alive. So maybe, considering how things ended up, maybe it’s better that he waited. Maybe it’s better that you hate him.”

“I don’t - “ Alex cuts himself off, actually biting at his tongue to keep the words back that he hadn't been expecting to come out at all.

But Bellamy still catches on. He raises his eyebrows at Alex, chuckling a little when Alex feels a blush heat his face. “Well, regardless of whether you hate him or not, that’s how you’re going to have to act.”

“But why?”

“Because the plan now,” Bellamy continues, “is to keep Jefferson and Madison from getting suspicious. Aaron needs to act like he doesn’t care about you, and you need to act like you despise Aaron. And, more importantly, you need to take them to the treasure.”

“But - “

“You _have_ to," Bellamy tells him firmly. "It’ll be the distraction Aaron and Maria need to overpower Jefferson and Madison. Then you can get the treasure, and Aaron and Maria will get you all back to this ship safely. We all win.”

Alex grits his teeth together, and he stares Bellamy straight in the eye. “I kept asking Aaron if he’d let my friends go in return for me leading him to the treasure, and he kept saying no, that he’d need them as leverage to make sure I’d take him to the treasure.”

Bellamy’s expression turns awkward. “He was leaning on his reputation to scare you, Alex. He wouldn’t have hurt them. He just...he’s been searching for this treasure for ten years. He needs to see it.”

“Is that part of the reason why you want me to still take them to the treasure? So Aaron can see it?”

“Honestly, yes.” Bellamy shrugs. “I know how much it matters to him. And I also know he won’t leave this planet without seeing it. Taking him to it has to be part of the plan.”

Alex nods. At least he’s being honest. He just has one more question. “Why are you changing that plan? If...if Aaron wanted to get me to hate him, why are you telling me all of this and not letting him know? Why the...why all the secrecy?” 

Bellamy sighs, and he stares down at the ground for a few moments. “Because...because at the end of the day, while I trust Aaron with my life, I also know how stupid he can be. He thinks he’s doing what’s right, or at least he’s tricked himself into thinking that. But he’s getting too emotional about all of it. I know the best chance we have of getting out of this alive is if you know all the facts, even if he doesn't want you to.”

“But why? Why does me knowing make so much of a difference?”

“Because now you can help him,” Bellamy murmurs. “And that’s another reason why he won’t tell you everything. He doesn’t think he deserves your help. He knows he hurt you, Alex. And he’s trying to fix it all himself. But it’s not going to work. But if you know, you can go along with it all, you can fight back enough to make it believable to Jefferson and Madison, but ease things along enough to make sure Aaron and Maria have the chance to overpower them. But you’re going to have to trust Aaron. Do you think you can do that?”

Alex chews at his lower lip, thinking hard about the question. Can he?

He peers over at Herc, hoping to get some kind of sign on what they’re thinking about all of us, but they just give Alex an encouraging smile and say nothing.

“I’ll try to,” Alex murmurs after a while.

“Good enough for me,” Bellamy tells him gently. “And listen, to make things a little easier, send Eliza and Theodosia back to me, if you can. That way if something does happen, I can get them out of here, along with John and Herc. I can even hide them right now, if you want. Since I don’t have to hide Herc anymore, I'll have more energy to hide two people.”

Alex shakes his head. “No, that’s fine. There’s some secret passageways we found. It’ll be easy for Eliza and Theodosia to get here unnoticed.”

“Good. Lie and say they got to an escape boat, that they’re long gone. And here,” Bellamy lifts a hand and places it on Alex’s gun, the edges of it glowing pink momentarily. “I’ve hidden it from sight. Or at least from everyone except Maria and Aaron. Just in case things take a turn and you need to use it.”

Alex stares down at his gun, and he swallows heavily, nerves starting to flare up inside of him. “Can’t you...can’t you come with me? Can’t you help?”

Bellamy shakes his head. “I have to stay here with Herc and John, with the ship. I have to be ready to leave at any moment. Besides, Jefferson and Madison might not know the extent of my powers, but they know I’m a Morph. If they suspect I’m doing something, everything will go to shit. I can't hide all of you.”

Even though it’s not what he wants to hear, Alex nods. But he’s still scared. He just wants all of this to be over now. “Is there a chance that I’ll be able to get Aaron to act sooner? Like before we reach the treasure? I mean, I get that the treasure is all he has left of his parents, but…”

Bellamy blinks at him as he trails off, a strange expression falling across his face. “Wait, what did he tell you about his parents?”

“That they died because of their mission, because they went undercover. Is...that's true, right?”

Bellamy bites at his lip, shaking his head slowly. “It’s more than that. He…” Bellamy sighs, and he stares at Alex with a wary expression. “Alex, Aaron thinks his parents are still alive.”

It feels like his whole body goes numb when he hears that. “He...what?”

“He thinks if he finds the treasure," Bellamy continues, "that he’ll find his parents. He thinks they’re on the planet, along with the rest of Hanover’s crew.”

Alex blinks. For some reason, that information is harder to take in than everything else he’s heard today. “But that’s...that’s…”

“I know. But there have been rumors, and, well…” Bellamy shrugs, suddenly looking exhausted. “I don’t have the heart to tell Aaron they’re probably just that; rumors.”

Alex exhales shakily, his mind going to Lafayette and what he had said to them. “Bellamy, there’s something...we found an Android when we landed. Or, he found us, I guess. There’s something wrong with his memory, but he’s been on the planet for ten years and he’s...he’s never come across anyone else.”

Bellamy’s expression turns pained for a moment, but then he nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I figured that was the case.” Bellamy nods again, his gaze moving to the ground. “Fuck,” he mutters to himself. His eyes squeeze shut, and then he’s looking at Alex. “Okay. Well, that doesn’t change things. Stick to the plan. Act like you hate Aaron, keep your guard up, and trust him and Maria.”

Alex licks his lips, wanting to talk more, but he knows time is running out. He needs to get back. He needs to fill in Eliza and Theodosia to the plan and get them out of there.

“Okay,” he says, and he nods at Bellamy before moving his eyes to Herc, who is standing near the wall, their expression a myriad of emotions, all probably similar to the ones on Alex’s face.

Alex goes over to them, and Herc opens their arms, wrapping Alex in a hug.

“Everything will be fine,” they tell him. “I’m safe here. So is John. And soon Eliza and Theodosia will be, too. And...and you can trust Aaron and Maria. We’ll be on our way home in no time.”

Alex nods against them, pulling away with a deep breath. “Yeah. I’ll see you soon.” He takes another step back and turns, heading for the door.

“Alex.”

He stops, peering back at Bellamy, who is suddenly looking nervous.

“When Aaron finds out his parents aren’t there, I don’t know how he’s going to react. So you...you need to try and prolong it. You can’t let him find out until Jefferson and Madison aren’t a threat anymore because he’ll….he won’t be in the right state of mind to protect you.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Just don’t tell him what you told me until you absolutely have to. And…” Bellamy falters, face taking on an almost guilty expression. “And maybe I don’t deserve this, but I’d like to ask you a favor.”

Alex shifts on his feet. “What?”

“Just make sure Aaron comes back," Bellamy says, sounding desperate. "Like I said, finding out his parents...finding out they aren’t there, it’s going to…” Bellamy trails off, and he shakes his head. “Just bring him back. Promise me.”

Alex swallows, wondering what exactly Bellamy thinks will happen to Aaron. But then Alex realizes that he doesn’t want to know, that he doesn't even want to think about it. But he nods at Bellamy. “I promise to try.”

Bellamy gives him a small smile. “Thank you.”

Alex nods again before heading for the door, but as he starts to close it, he pauses again and looks back to where Bellamy and Herc are now standing in front of each other, Herc murmuring something that makes Bellamy chuckle. And then he’s leaning in, kissing Herc gently on the mouth, one of Herc’s hand coming up to rest against Bellamy’s face, holding him close.

Something pinches tight in his chest, and Alex closes the door quietly, leaning his forehead against it once he does. He breathes in deep once, and then breathes out slowly. He does it again, and then one more time before straightening up.

He has to find Lafayette.

He checks where the controls to the cannons are first, remembering the hallway that Lafayette had turned down, but only finds a mess of electrical wires and no sign of Lafayette. He searches below deck, still finding nothing, but when he pokes his head into the brig, Lafayette is there, talking to John.

“Laf,” Alex calls as he steps in, and Laf jumps in surprise, whipping around to face Alex with a bashful expression. “Come on, it’s time to go back.”

“Ah, yes. Good.” He turns back to John, who is looking rather pleased with himself. “It was very nice to meet you.” Then he clears his throat and begins to walk over to Alex, but then pauses. “Is John coming with us?”

Alex rolls his eyes at Lafayette’s hopeful tone and the smug look on John’s face. “No, he’s staying here.”

“What?” John exclaims, looking at Alex like he’s crazy. “But - “

“Lee is dead,” Alex explains. “And Bellamy is the one who did it. He has Herc. He saved them. You’re safe here, and I’ll be sending Eliza and Theodosia back, anyway. Laf, too. He’ll have to guide them.”

“What are you - “

“Bellamy will explain,” Alex tells him. “He’ll probably be over to let you out soon. I’m sorry, but we really have to go. Laf, c’mon.”

Him and Lafayette exit the room, John calling after them in confusion, but Alex leads them quickly back above deck.

“Your friend is very nice,” Lafayette says as they climb down the rope ladder. “And very nice looking.”

“Lafayette?”

“Yes?”

“Please stop talking.”

The walk back through the tunnels goes much faster. Alex’s heart is pounding with nervousness, but with adrenaline as well. He has to force himself to push down the strange sort of happiness he feels due to everything Bellamy told him. Even though he's glad that Aaron and his crew are really trying to help them, he can’t allow his emotions to overwhelm him again. He still has to step with caution around Aaron, even if...even if he isn’t the threat Alex had initially thought he was.

“Hey, Lafayette,” Alex says some time later. “I need to ask you something.”

“Mm, yes? What is it?”

“You’ve really never seen anyone else on this planet the whole time you were here?”

“I have not,” Lafayette tells him sadly. “Of course, there may be some areas I have not discovered yet, but there has been no one but me here for a very long time. It has been quite lonely.”

“I’m sure it has,” Alex murmurs, and he sighs. “Well, when we get back to the hut, I’m going to send you to go with Eliza and Theodosia to the ship, okay? You’ll stay there with them, and with John.”

“Oh!” Lafayette exclaims, sounding excited. “But...wait. What about you? You will be all alone!”

“I’ll be fine,” Alex tells him, and he takes a deep breath. “I’m just...the man with the metal arm, I’m going to help him with something first, okay? Then I’ll come back to the ship.”

“I thought he was a bad man?” Lafayette asks. “A troubled man, is what Eliza called him. Will you be safe with him?”

The question, asked so sincerely, makes Alex laugh a little before shaking his head. “I’m...not entirely sure. But I think so. I think...yeah. I think I’ll be safe.”

They make it back to where the door to the hut is a little while later, and Lafayette opens it and then starts to pull himself up. 

“I will pull you up after me!” he says over his shoulder, and then he’s disappearing through the doorway and into the darkness of the hut, the only source of light coming from the moon outside and through the windows. Eliza and Theodosia must be sleeping already.

A few seconds go by, and then a few more, and Alex shifts on his feet when Lafayette doesn’t appear to help him.

“Laf? A hand up please?”

More seconds pass with no movement, but then a hand is extending down towards him, and Alex takes it, grunting out a thanks as Lafayette pulls him up.

“Okay,” Alex says, looking down and brushing his hands over his pants. “Let’s wake Eliza and Theodosia and - “ he cuts off when he realizes Lafayette isn’t in front of him, the hairs on the back of his neck rising when he notices how quiet it is.

He turns, and then freezes, coming face to face with Madison, who has a hand over Lafayette’s mouth and a gun to his head.

Suddenly, light floods the room, and Alex startles, turning around again, and, just as he feared, Jefferson is there, standing right in front of him with a gun pointed at as his face. 

“Hello, Hamilton,” he says. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

Alex’s eyes move past Jefferson, and his stomach sinks when he spots Eliza and Theodosia bound and gagged on the floor. And then panic is pulsing through him as he realizes that everything Bellamy told him, everything about his plan, none of it matters anymore.

Because beside Eliza and Theodosia, with a split lip and a bruise blossoming beneath his eye, his arms bound behind him, is Aaron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :DDDD So many cliffhangers
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated, and comments fuel my motivation, so leave them here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies!!!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH for being so patient with this chapter. Those of you who follow me on tumblr know I was dealing with some personal stuff. But now I am BACK and hopefully updates will come a little quicker.
> 
> Enjoy x

Everything is eerily quiet as Alex and Jefferson stare at each other, and Alex's chest feels as if it's full of ice. Jefferson’s lip curls into a smirk as he lowers his gun, but then he steps closer to Alex, one of his hands coming up to grab at his chin, jerking his face up.

“Looks like someone already bashed your face in,” he comments, fingers moving to dig into the bruise on Alex’s cheek right over where Lee had hit him. “Who do I owe my thanks to, hm? Where were you?”

Alex swallows, wincing when Jefferson’s fingers dig in even harder. “I was at the ship,” he tells him, trying to think of a lie. He can’t tell Jefferson about his conversation with Bellamy, especially if Jefferson doesn’t know that Bellamy has this secret plan to help them escape. “I...I wanted to try and get an escape boat. But...but Bellamy and Lee found me.”

“And what? You somehow managed to slip away from both of them?”

Alex shakes his head. “No, I...Lee got me and we...he…” Alex trails off, knowing it would be a mistake to tell Jefferson that Lee is dead. Alex has no doubt that his reaction would be bad. “We fought, and he was overpowering me, but then Lafayette…” Alex’s eyes move to the Android. “He intervened. And then we escaped.”

Jefferson stares at him, eyes dark, and then his gaze shifts to Lafayette for a brief moment before returning to Alex. “We’ll deal with Lafayette in a moment. Maria, tie him up.”

Alex startles slightly at that, not having realized that Maria was there.  But sure enough, she steps out of the shadows and goes over to Lafayette, tying his arms behind his back with rough movements. But her eyes meet Alex’s over Lafayette’s shoulder, and Alex thinks she gives him the smallest of winks. At least he has one ally who isn't tied up.

Before Alex can start to wonder how Maria convinced Jefferson and Madison she's on their side, Jefferson is grabbing at Alex, patting him down and then snorting. “Are you telling me that you went aboard that ship without any weapons on you? You’re stupider than I thought.”

Alex grits his teeth at that, and he keeps his gaze in front of him, tempted to look down at his holster. But he sees Maria’s eyes flick down, her brow furrowing for a split second. And then she’s glancing quickly at Aaron, something passing between them before she re-focuses her attention on binding Lafayette’s hands, and Alex knows then that Bellamy  kept true to his word, having hidden the gun from Madison and Jefferson's sight.

“And that’s saying something,” Jefferson continues, sneering at Alex. “Because I really, _really_ think you’re stupid. Almost as stupid as him over there.” He jerks his head at Aaron. “I overheard you two talking, you know. At least the latter end of the conversation. I overheard Aaron pouring his heart out to you, saying just him and you could share the treasure. How romantic.”

Jefferson moves quickly, his gun slamming into Alex’s face over the same spot Lee had hit, and Alex cries out, the pain and force of it causing him to fall to his knees. But Jefferson just laughs, and then he’s fisting his hand in Alex’s hair, keeping him in place as he kicks him in the stomach, and Alex doubles over with a gasp.

“Thomas,” Aaron’s voice calls out. “Enough. You’ve made your point.”

Jefferson snarls at Aaron’s words, and he kicks Alex again, and again, and then he’s pushing him away roughly, and Alex slumps to the floor, feeling blood on his face and an ache in his ribs.

“Oh, believe me,” Jefferson says, breathing heavily. “Once I’ve made my point, our ship rat here will be lucky if anyone can recognize his pretty little face. And I know how much that would upset you, Aaron. You’re fond of his face, aren’t you?”

“Thomas...”

“At first I really thought you just wanted a nice piece of ass,” Jefferson continues. “And I could  understand that. But what I _couldn’t_ understand was how that would lead you to betray your entire crew. But it’s more than that, isn’t it?” Jefferson grabs at Alex, hauling him up, and forcing his head to turn so he’s facing Aaron. “You actually _care_ about him, don’t you?”

Alex takes a deep breath as he slowly lifts his gaze to see Aaron staring back at him, his expression blank, but Alex thinks he can detect cracks; the corners of his mouth twitching, his eyes searching Alex’s face with something close to desperation inside of them.

Then Alex is inhaling sharply when he feels the cold edge of a knife against his throat.

“Answer the question,” Jefferson commands, fisting his hand in Alex’s hair again and pressing the knife harder against his neck, and Alex holds his breath, scared that any movement will cause the knife to break skin. “And don’t lie. Lie and I start to kill off his friends one by one. You were going to betray us for him, weren’t you? For this kid you barely know. You were going to let everything we worked towards fall apart, because of a stupid crush on an even stupider boy.”

Alex can’t hold back a gasp as the knife pricks his skin, a trickle of blood starting to fall, and he hears Aaron shift.

“Thomas - “

“Answer the question!”

“Yes,” Aaron spits out, and Alex looks at him, unable to disguise his reaction. “Yes, okay? I care about him. I was going to betray the crew so I could ensure Alexander’s safety. I…I didn’t want him to get hurt.”

Jefferson’s grip in Alex’s hair tightens for a moment, and then he’s releasing him, and Alex’s hands fly up to his throat, wincing when he feels the cut there.

“The mighty Captain Silver,” Jefferson says, his tone cold and taunting. “I never thought the story would end this way, with you bound and bleeding at my feet. But I guess love makes even the strongest of us weak, doesn’t it?”

Again, Alex’s eyes go to Aaron, whose jaw is clenched, his gaze now turned down towards the ground, and Alex feels his heart clench. Love? Does Aaron _love_ him?

“You know,” Jefferson continues, stepping around Alex so he's in front of him “all I had to do was point my gun at Miss Schuyler over there, ask a few questions, and Aaron immediately surrendered. He’s so hooked on you he doesn’t even want your friends to get hurt. But too bad it’s unrequited. Because it is, isn’t it?” He looks down at Alex, a smirk on his face. “You hate him. You’re repulsed by him, aren’t you?”

“I…” Alex trails off, his shock clouding his mind, making it hard for him to piece together words.

“I can kill him for you.”

Alex stares at Jefferson in bewilderment. “What?”

“You must want him dead,” Jefferson says, and he laughs. “I mean, he lied to you, right? He lied to me, and I know _I_ want him dead. So what do you think? Should I kill him?” 

Alex watches, heart racing, as Jefferson points his gun at Aaron, but Aaron isn’t even looking at Jefferson, his eyes now glued to Alex, looking as if he’s waiting for Alex’s response just as much as Jefferson is.

“N-no,” Alex stutters out. “No, I don’t want you to kill him.” And he doesn’t. He would never want that. Even after everything, Alex would never wish for Aaron to be dead, because...because why? Alex’s head starts to pound, but he shakes it again. “Don’t kill him.”

Jefferson tuts. “Oh, come now. Don’t try to be chivalrous. I know you’re angry with him. Let me do you a favor. I’ll even make it quick.” He cocks the gun. “I’ll aim right for the head.” He moves as if he’s going to shoot, and Alex, not even thinking, launches himself in front of Jefferson’s gun.

“I said no!”

Silence hangs in the air, and Alex blinks at the gun in front of his face a few times before moving his gaze to stare at Jefferson, who is staring back at him with a satisfied expression, as if he’d been wanting to get that reaction out of Alex.

“Now this really is something,” Jefferson murmurs, lowering his gun. “Just hours ago, I heard you telling Aaron you would never help him, and now here you are, throwing yourself in the line of fire for him. I mean, it was clear to anyone with eyes that you were obsessed with him before, but you’d think that would make you hate him even more after you found out who he really was.”

“Thomas,” Aaron interjects, “Leave him alone. Just - “

“Shut up,” Thomas snarls, his gaze not moving away from Alex. “But you don’t hate him, do do you?” Thomas takes a step closer, his face uncomfortably close, and Alex turns away, breath hitching. “Do you love him?” Thomas whispers in his ear, glee clear in his voice. “You do, don’t you? Even after everything he did.”

Alex clenches his jaw at the taunt, and he can feel tears burning in his eyes for what feels like the hundredth time, and before he can even try to think of a response, or think about whether or not Jefferson is right, Jefferson is laughing and pulling away.

He makes a sympathetic sound when he takes in Alex’s flushed face, but there is malice in his expression. “Poor little ship rat,” he murmurs, “falling in love with a pirate.” He grabs at Alex, pulling him away from Aaron and turning him so that he’s facing Aaron instead.

And Aaron’s expression, for just a moment, is full of surprise and sympathy, of regret, of something like adoration, but then it’s all gone, expression schooled back into his carefully crafted mask, and Alex swallows hard, wondering what his own face is revealing.

“This is all romantically devastating for the two of you, I’m sure,” Jefferson says, but then he laughs again. “But this really couldn’t be more perfect for me.” He tightens his grip on Alex, and then points his gun at Aaron for a second time. “Tell me how to open the map, Hamilton.” 

Alex tries to take in a calming breath, but it doesn’t work. He looks at Aaron, who is still staring back at him, his expression void of anything, but he gives the smallest shake of his head, and Alex wants to laugh. Because even if he wanted to tell Jefferson, he doesn’t know the answer.

“I...I don’t know how,” Alex starts. “I - “

A gunshot rings out, and Alex jumps, Aaron’s sharp inhale of pain filling the room a second later as the bullet hits his already injured leg.

“Tell me how to open it.”

“I’m telling you the truth,” Alex stammers, panic filling him as he watches Aaron double over in pain. “I swear. I don’t know how I do it, I just - “

A second shot echoes around the room, and Alex feels tears starting to slip down his face as this bullet tears through Aaron’s metal arm, and this time a groan escapes his lips, low-pitched and pained, but he cuts it off quickly.

“I really don’t know,” Alex says, and he hates that his voice shakes, and he hates that he can’t look away from Aaron. “I don’t, Jefferson. If I did I would tell you. But I - “

Another shot, this one hitting Aaron’s shoulder, and Alex feels anger surge through him as he realizes Jefferson aimed for the shoulder that isn’t metal. And Aaron cries out as the bullet lodges itself in his skin, blood starting to seep through Aaron’s shirt.

“Stop,” Alex says, unable to tear his eyes away from the splash of red that’s slowly spreading across Aaron’s chest. “Please. I don’t know how I open it. I just...I just do! I - no!” Alex lurches forward as Jefferson moves as if he’s going to shoot again. “Jefferson, please. I don’t know how to tell you, but I’ll...I’ll do it for you. I’ll take you to the treasure.”

Jefferson’s eyebrow arches at that. “Oh, will you? Even though you swore you wouldn’t just hours ago? Just because I’m threatening to kill Aaron?” Jefferson smirks, and he lowers his gun. “I believe you,” he says. “Honestly, I believed you after the first gunshot. But where’s the fun in just one?”

Alex glares as Jefferson steps over to Aaron, and then Jefferson hits him with the barrel of his gun, once, twice, blood spraying from Aaron’s mouth.

“Stop it,” Alex cries, voice cracking. “I told you I’d take you there, I’ll read the map for you! Stop!”

Jefferson hits Aaron once more before pulling back, revealing Aaron’s bloodied face, and then he points his gun at Alex. “You try to double cross me, and I will kill him. I’ll kill him, and then I’ll kill them. “ He points to where Eliza, Theodosia, and Lafayette are. “And I’ll make you watch. Do you understand?”

Alex nods, and then Jefferson turns to Aaron, grabbing him by the chin and forcing his eyes up.

“And you...if you try anything, anything at all, I’ll kill all of Hamilton’s friends one by one, or maybe I’ll force you to do it while he watches. And then I’ll kill him, too. Slowly. And you’ll watch every second of it, knowing that it’s your fault. Am I understood?”

At first, Aaron says nothing, but then Jefferson hits him again, and after spitting out blood, Aaron lifts his head. “Understood.”

Alex watches with growing panic as Aaron slumps against the wall once Jefferson releases him. With Aaron so badly injured, Jefferson has basically taken all of Alex’s options away. He can’t go up against Jefferson and Madison alone, and he doubts Maria would even be able to act fast enough to ensure that no one gets hurt.

And he has no doubt that once they reach the treasure, Jefferson will just kill them all anyway. There’s no good outcome. There’s no way out.

“Now.” Jefferson stands, and his eyes move over to where everyone else is standing, staring at him with wide eyes, and he points at Lafayette. “You. Who are you, and how the hell did you get to this planet?”

“He - “ Alex cuts off with a hiss when Jefferson back-hands him suddenly, his face jerking to the side, cheek throbbing in pain.

“I was not speaking to you,” Jefferson hisses at him, “so I do not want you to speak. You.” He nods his head at Lafayette. “Answer.”

Lafayette licks his lips, shooting Alex a frightened look before staring back at Jefferson. “I...I am an Android. I was...part of the naval crew that landed here ten years ago.”

Jefferson narrows his eyes at that, but Alex’s attention gets drawn to Aaron, who had let out a surprised breath at Lafayette’s words, his eyes wide. He looks like he’s going to speak, but then his expression falters, as if he’s scared, and Alex looks away, praying that Jefferson doesn’t start interrogating Lafayette right now. If Aaron finds out Lafayette hasn’t seen anyone on the planet, that his parents aren't here, then, like Bellamy said, he’ll be too upset to function the little that he still can.

“He damaged his memory,” Alex says quickly, and Jefferson’s eyes move back to his. “He doesn’t remember anything about after his crew landed. We think….” Alex trails off, an idea coming to him that fills his mouth with a bad taste.

It will be a lie. A big lie. But it could help them in the long run, and Alex is desperate. There isn’t enough time to think of an alternative. So Alex takes a deep breath, preparing himself for his next words.

“We think,” he says again, “that...that maybe he came across the treasure and Hanover’s crew, and they....they took out his memory chip because of that.” He has to force himself to not glance over at Aaron when he hears his sharp intake of breath, heart clenching painfully in his chest. “Lafayette said he thinks he’s seen other people on the planet. Just...just briefly. There are tunnels underneath the whole planet - that’s where we came from - and he’s seen people coming out of them. We think it’s Hanover’s crew.”

Jefferson’s eyes are still narrowed, as if he doesn’t believe Alex’s words. “But why let him live if he saw the treasure? Hanover was never known for his mercy.”

“It isn’t mercy,” Alex says, thinking fast. “I mean, not if you really think about it. It’s likely Laf’s whole crew is dead, and they just left him to suffer on his own, with no memory of where the treasure is and no way to get off the planet. It’s torture. Maybe...maybe it’s even entertainment for Hanover and his crew.”

Jefferson’s suspicion of the story seems to be fading from his expression, and Alex finally does glance over at Aaron, who is staring down at the floor, but his chest is expanding rapidly as he breathes, and Alex feels guilt swirl inside of him.

He doesn’t want to lie, he doesn’t want to get Aaron’s hopes up just to dash them later. But he needs Aaron to stay focused. He needs Aaron in order to make it through this. And for that to happen, Aaron needs to have a reason to keep fighting. If he thinks his parents are on the planet, then that will be his reason. Alex doesn't have a choice.

“Android,” Jefferson snaps out after a couple more seconds, pulling Alex out of his thoughts. “Access your memories of your landing on this planet. What did you find? What happened?”

Lafayette shuts his eyes, but, just as before, blue sparks sputter at his temple, and Lafayette’s jaw clenches, eyes re-opening seconds later. “I’m afraid I do not have access to those memories.” His gaze moves to Alex, confusion clear in them, but then he looks back at Jefferson. “But Alex is correct. I...I have, or at least I’ve thought that I...that I’ve seen other people here, coming from underground. But I...it has been ten years, very long years, and I had just assumed they were hallucinations, longings my mind created.”

Jefferson stares at Lafayette for a couple of long seconds, but then he turns to look at Alex, and his lips curl. “Well, if Hanover and his crew really are still here, it’s a good thing we have the map. Clearly they lost it somehow. And they don’t know we’re here. We’ll avoid the tunnels.” 

“But what if we come across them?” Madison asks, finally speaking. “We’ll be outnumbered. And they’re sure to be guarding the treasure.”

“We’ll deal with it if it happens,” Jefferson says, and he gestures around the room. “Luckily for us, we have a range of hostages that we can use as distractions for Hanover and his crew.”

Alex knows that won’t happen, because he knows Hanover and his crew are long gone, but he still feels enough fear over the rest of the situation that he knows he must look scared enough to satisfy Jefferson and keep him from detecting the lie.

“Look around for anything useful,” Jefferson tells Maria, and then he looks over at Madison. “And keep a gun on her at all times.” He nods at Eliza, who glares right back at him. “And you.” Jefferson throws a rag in Alex’s direction. “See that your boyfriend doesn’t bleed out before we leave. I need him alive. For now, at least.”

Jefferson’s words sit heavy in Alex’s stomach, but he grabs the rag and goes over to where Aaron is slumped against the wall, face turned to the side.

Alex kneels in front of him, hands shaking a little as he dabs at the corner of Aaron’s mouth, the rag coming away stained red. He does the same to the cut below his eye, and then turns his face the other way, wiping gently at the injuries he finds there.

But then Alex turns his attention to Aaron’s shoulder, blood still seeping slowly from the wound, and he falters. How does he stop that? He doesn’t know how. And even if he did, all he has is a rag.

“Don’t worry about it,” Aaron tells him gently, words slurring together slightly. He turns his head again, spits more blood out onto the floor. “I’m fine.”

Alex chokes out a laugh because Aaron, clearly, is not fine. After a moment, he moves to shrug off his jacket, fingers going to one of his sleeves and tearing at the fabric until he’s holding a long strip in his hand.  Then he folds and presses the rag to Aaron’s shoulder, wrapping the strip of fabric over and around his shoulder before tying it into a tight knot to keep the rag in place. It’s the best he can manage.

Slipping his jacket back on, Alex keeps his eyes on Aaron, waits until the man is looking at him to open his mouth, wanting to say something, anything, to maybe even apologize, or to ask Aaron if what he told Jefferson was true, but Aaron shakes his head again, and in the next second, Alex is being pulled roughly to his feet.

“Time’s up,” Jefferson tells him, and then he’s wrapping a length of rope around Alex’s wrists, but keeping his hands out in front of him. Alex realizes why when Jefferson places the map back into his hands. “Open it.”

Alex takes a moment to collect his nerves, and then he presses the orb and twists a few times, watching along with everyone else as the map opens, the hologram spreading all around them, and Alex notices, probably because they’re actually on the planet now, that the map is showing their location as a small, flickering dot.

“That must be where the treasure is,” Jefferson says, pointing to a larger dot on the map. Then, without warning, he’s grabbing the map from Alex, but the hologram flickers out, and the orb twists shut.

Alex is just as shocked. That’s never happened before. But Jefferson growls and fists his hand in Alex’s shirt, tugging him up roughly so that only his tiptoes are left on the ground.

“How did you make it do that?”

“I-I didn’t,” Alex gasps out. “I didn’t even know it would do that, I swear!”

“Don’t lie to me!”

“I’m not! That’s the first time someone has taken it from me when it’s been open, I didn’t know it would do that!”

Jefferson glares at him, but he slowly lowers Alex back to the ground, and hands over the map. “Open it again.” Once Alex does, Jefferson stares at him for a few seconds before turning back to everyone else. “This is how it’s going to go. If any of you try anything, anything at all, someone gets hurt. So don’t even think about doing something heroic. It will just get someone killed. Is that clear?”

Everyone nods.

“Good. Now start walking.”

Madison keeps his hold on Eliza, and Maria goes over to Theodosia, guiding her into a standing position, and then she pauses, eyes moving around the room before landing on Aaron.

“Thomas,” she starts. “Aaron isn’t going to be able to walk.”

“Then he’ll crawl,” Jefferson spits out, eyes blazing in anger. But then he breathes in and out a few times, and he points at Lafayette. “Untie him. He’ll assist Aaron.”

Once he’s free, Lafayette goes over to Aaron and lifts him up, quickly catching him when all of Aaron’s weight collapses as he tries to put pressure on his injured leg. It’s clear that Lafayette will basically have to carry Aaron the entire way, not giving him much of a chance to try and escape or untie Aaron.

“Let’s move,” Jefferson says, and he gestures for Alex to exit the house first, everyone else trailing after him.

Alex’s feet feel heavy as he walks, and his face throbs from where it’s been hit repeatedly, and he thinks he can feel one of his eyes starting to swell shut. But all of that is at the back of his mind, because what’s occupying most of his mind space is the dire situation they’re all in.

He has no idea what to do. He doesn’t even know if there’s anything he _can_ do. All he knows is that he has to get his friends out of this safely. He can’t help but feel responsible. If he’d never chased after Seabury’s ship or taken the map from him, none of them would be here. And he’d dragged Lafayette into all of it, too. Even Aaron wouldn’t be bound and beaten if Alex hadn’t gotten involved. 

If Alex had just stayed home, none of this would have happened.

They walk for what feels like hours, but Alex knows in reality it’s probably only been an hour at the most. But he’s exhausted, and his eyes are starting to blur, and where his feet were sore before, they’re twinging in pain with every step.

He’s trying to focus on just taking one step at a time, but he suddenly feels something knock against his legs, and he goes sprawling to the ground, his arms painfully breaking his fall, the map tumbling from his grasp.

“For fuck’s sake,” he hears Jefferson snarl. “Somebody pick him up.”

There are footsteps, and then hands yanking him back up, and he’s about to pull away from the grip when he realizes who it is.

“Did Bellamy talk to you?” Maria asks, her voice so soft that Alex first thinks she didn’t actually speak, but a few seconds later, he gives a small nod, and Maria meets his eyes for a brief moment before moving away. “Pick up the map,” she commands, her voice louder, and Alex scurries to do so.

Once they’re all walking again, Alex chances a glance backwards, and he spots Maria standing beside Theodosia again, but she’s directly behind Aaron and Lafayette, and Alex thinks he sees her murmur something to Aaron before she falls back a few steps.

Aaron gives no sign that he heard Maria, but his head lifts, eyes finding Alex, and he just stares at him, expression revealing nothing, but Alex still feels his spirits lift, just slightly. Maria and Aaron must be planning something. They’ll get them out of it. They have to. Alex can’t do it by himself, and… Alex’s thoughts come to a halt, and he chews at his lip, going over what he had just been about to think. 

He had been going to think that he trusts Maria and Aaron to help him. But is that true? Does he trust them? _Should_ he trust them?  At this point, Alex doesn’t really care about what is technically right and wrong. He doesn’t care if it’s wrong of him to trust Aaron, to give him a second chance. All he cares about is getting out of this alive however he can. And there’s a part of him that really does want to give Aaron that second chance.

If it’s true that Aaron surrendered as soon as Jefferson threatened to hurt Eliza, and there was no reason for Jefferson to lie about that, then that must mean that Aaron _does_ care about them, that he doesn’t want them to get hurt. And even though there is still a huge part of Alex that is angry with Aaron, he has to push that away, at least for now, at least until they escape.

Because he knows that, if they do try to escape, it will culminate in a fight. They won’t be able to outrun Jefferson and Madison, and Alex doesn’t see how they’d be able to give them the slip, so fighting is the only outcome.

That thought causes Alex to peer down at the gun still sitting in his holster, and his stomach twists. He knows that it’s cowardly, but he doesn’t want to have to be the one to hurt or possibly even kill Jefferson and Madison. It’s too much responsibility, and it’s too much for him to handle. And even though Jefferson and Madison wouldn’t hesitate to kill him, Alex still can’t stomach the idea of killing either of them.

His only other option is somehow giving the gun to Aaron.

At a certain point, once Alex’s legs go numb, and he feels as if he’s sleepwalking, he wonders if Jefferson is really going to make them walk all the way to the treasure without stopping. But then someone, Alex’s mind is too muddled to decipher who, calls for everyone to stop walking.

Alex sits down without being told to, his legs buckling, and he breathes a sigh in relief when no one tells him to get up.

He can hear Jefferson, Maria, and Madison talking about who will take the watch, Maria volunteering without hesitation, which makes Alex’s chest fill with relief. At least he won’t have to worry about Jefferson killing anyone while they sleep.

“Alex.”

He jerks in surprise at the call of his name, and he looks up to see Maria gesturing for him to go over to her, and he grunts in pain as he pushes himself back up.

“Give water to everyone,” she tells him, not even looking at him as she thrusts a canteen towards him. “And even though you’re upset with Aaron, give it to him. We can’t have him passing out. So give it to him.”

Alex’s brow furrows at her words. Why wouldn’t he give it to Aaron? But then he follows where Maria’s gaze is focused, and he realizes that she’s not staring at him because she’s staring at his holster.

After a few seconds of deliberation, Alex nods. “I’ll give it to him.”

“Good. And no talking while you’re doing it, okay? Just do it quickly and then get some rest.”

Alex goes over to Theodosia first, holding the canteen to her lips and tilting it slowly. As he lowers it, Theodosia catches his eye, and she gives him a slow nod, smiling slightly, and Alex does his best to return the smile, hoping it conveys some sort of comfort or hope that they'll get out of this.

Eliza is next, and after pouring water into her mouth, Alex can’t help but reach out, grasping her shoulder for a quick moment and before moving quickly over to Lafayette.

But Lafayette shakes his head when Alex approaches. “I do not need any,” he tells Alex softly. “Save it for yourself.” Lafayette’s eyes roam around them, and then he leans in closer to him. “Alex, why did you tell them that - “

“No talking!” Maria says sharply, and Alex glances over his shoulder, catching her warning gaze, and then his eyes move to the side, seeing that Jefferson is still awake, watching Alex.

So Alex just shakes his head at Lafayette, and then moves over to Aaron, his heart starting to pound.

As he walks, Alex lets the canteen fall from his hands, landing right at Aaron’s feet. Alex crouches down quickly, hands going to his holster as he angles his body to hide what he’s doing best he can.  He slips the gun from his holster, and slides it into Aaron’s, and then his hands are back on the canteen, lifting it up towards Aaron as his pulse races.

He pours the water past Aaron’s parted lips, their eyes meeting, and Alex swallows hard as he tears his gaze away, trying to focus on not letting his hands shake too much. He lowers the canteen, but he stays kneeling in front of Aaron, wishing that he could say something, but not even knowing what it is he wants to say.

“Thank you,” Aaron murmurs after a moment, and Alex just nods, but then Aaron leans forward a little, and Alex looks at him. “Thank you,” he says again, voice quiet but heavy with emotion, and Alex feels guilt build in his throat, because he knows Aaron is thanking him for trusting him, but Alex can’t stop thinking about the lie he told about Hanover’s crew, and about how selfish he feels giving the gun, and the responsibility, to Aaron.

“You’re welcome,” Alex manages to get out a few seconds later, and then he’s standing and going back over to Maria, taking a long drink from the canteen before handing it to her.

He lets her re-tie his wrists, and then he goes over close to where Eliza is, and he lies down beside her, eyes slipping shut immediately, his whole body weighed down by exhaustion.

As he starts to fall asleep, Alex prays that they'll get out of this, and he prays that he’s made the right choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so Jefferson's reign of terror begins. But how long will it last? ;p
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation! Leave them here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies! :D


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for being patient!!! This chapter was a struggle, and is more of a filler (with a few important things occurring), but I hope you enjoy!

The following day, Jefferson forces them to start walking just as the sun begins to rise.

Alex feels even more exhausted than before, and based on how his friends are walking slowly and stumbling over their own feet from time to time, they’re feeling the same way. 

The only noise is the sound of their footsteps, and Alex can’t help but feel that each step is taking them closer and closer to danger, because he knows that once they reach the treasure, Jefferson won’t hesitate to start killing them all. He’ll have no need for them.

Alex peers around at his friends again. Madison is directly behind him, with Eliza next to him, and her face is lined with exhaustion, her eyes weary when their gazes meet. Alex tries to smile at her, but he’s not sure he manages to.

Maria and Theodosia are next in line, and a small surge of relief flows through him when Alex notices that Maria is holding Theodosia up, assisting her with walking, which Alex knows must be painful with her ribs being injured.

Behind them, Lafayette is clearly struggling to help Aaron, whose metal leg is practically useless at this point, ruined by the multiple gunshots to it. Aaron’s face has taken on an ashen hue, and besides their footsteps, Alex thinks he can hear Aaron’s labored breathing filling the air.

Jefferson is last in line, stalking close behind Aaron and Lafayette, and Alex thinks that he’s the only one who doesn’t look tired, every line of his face showing focus. His eyes are continuously glancing around, taking in their surroundings, and Alex’s chest tightens when Jefferson’s eyes find his, a smirk curling around his lips.

Alex turns back around quickly, heart thumping against his ribcage. He doesn’t know what to do, and part of him almost regrets giving Aaron the gun. At least with it, he’d have some control over what happens, and he wouldn’t have to just wait for Aaron and Maria to choose a time to strike.

He hates that he has to play this waiting game. He just wants it all to be over.

As they continue to walk, Alex lets his mind drift as much as he can while he continues to navigate them, finding that it’s the only way that he can keep himself from worrying too much.

The two green dots on the map are getting closer and closer, and Alex knows that it will only be another day, if that, of traveling before they reach it. He needs some kind of distraction, some small opening that will allow him to overpower Jefferson, he needs - 

A crunching noise echoes around them, and Alex freezes, a shiver passing through him when he realizes that he’s stepped on something. And it was that something that caused that awful sound.

Alex slowly looks down, and then he’s stumbling backwards, his back colliding with Madison and Eliza, but he barely even hears their startled cries, because he’s too focused on the sight in front of him to notice anything else.

In the clearing of the trees in front of them, bodies litter the ground. Alex counts at least ten before he has to look away, the remains rotten and decayed, and Alex’s stomach twists when he realizes that he had stepped on the skeletal hand of one of the bodies.

“What the hell,” Madison murmurs from behind him. “Thomas, what is this…”

Everyone slowly walks forward, but no one seems to want to move ahead of Alex to where the bodies begin.

“It must be the naval crew,” Jefferson says. “The last one to come here.”

At his words, Lafayette cries out, and he’s letting go of Aaron and stumbling forward, dropping to his knees.

“No, no, no,” he groans, fingers digging into the dirt at their feet. “It cannot be. They are not dead. This...it’s not…”

Alex has to look away, but Jefferson just snorts.

“What? You thought you crew survived this somehow? That Hanover let them go? Come on, you knew they had to be dead. This just confirms they came across Hanover and his crew.”

“But is Hanover’s crew still here?” Madison asks, both him and Jefferson ignoring Lafayette’s sobs.

“Android,” Jefferson snaps out, stalking forward. “When was the last time you spotted others on this planet? Was it recent?”

Lafayette makes no sign that he even heard Jefferson’s question, sobs turning into groans, and Alex feels a pulse of panic hit him, worried that he’ll let it slip that he hasn’t seen anyone on the planet since he landed and ruin the lie Alex had started.

“He told us the last sighting had been weeks ago,” Alex cuts in, flinching slightly when Jefferson spins to look at him. “Or that’s what he estimated. He...keeping track of time is difficult, but it...it had been kind of recent.”

Alex flicks his gaze over to Aaron, who had pushed himself up into a sitting position after Lafayette dropped him to the ground, and his gaze is fixed on Alex, and Alex, once again, has to look away.

Jefferson stares at Alex for a beat, his lips curled, and then he’s bending down to haul Lafayette to his feet.

“We’ll go and scout the area ahead,” Jefferson announces. “If I detect any movement, well…” he trails off, and then he grins at them all. “Well then I guess it’ll be time to send you all out and see how you fare against Hanover. Maybe I’ll even untie you, just to give you somewhat of a chance.”

And with that, Jefferson is walking away, dragging a still-sobbing Lafayette with him, and then they’re all left standing in the clearing, the bodies at their feet.

“We’ll take a short break,” Madison announces after a few seconds. “Sit down. But no talking. Thomas will be back soon.”

Despite the instructions, Alex stays standing, gazing out at the space in front of him. All of this proves that Hanover and his crew had been alive ten years ago. But where are they know? They must have escaped the planet. They must have left with the map. That’s the only explanation for how the map got into Alex’s possession. It’s impossible that the pirates are still here.

Alex glances behind him to look at Aaron, who has drawn his knees up to his chest, and even from where Alex is standing, he can see the tension lining Aaron’s body, his shoulders tight and his jaw clenched.

Alex takes a tentative step towards him, not entirely sure what his intentions are. Part of him wants to tell Aaron the truth, tell him that Alex had made everything up about Lafayette seeing others on the planet, but he knows that would be a bad idea, because Aaron would have no hope to keep him going. And Alex needs him to keep going.

“Hamilton,” Madison snaps out as Alex takes another step. “Stay where you are.”

Alex falters. “I was just…” he pauses when Aaron lifts his head to look at him, and then Alex’s eyes move to his shoulder, where fresh blood is seeping onto the fabric of his shirt. “I just wanted to rewrap his injury. It’s...Jefferson doesn’t want him dead, right?”

Madison gives Alex a skeptical look when Alex turns to glance at him, and then the man is standing, letting out a long sigh. “I’ll do it.”

Disappointed that Madison won’t let him near Aaron, Alex purses his lips, but he doesn’t argue. If Madison willingly wants to patch Aaron up, Alex won’t get in the way of that.

There’s only silence as Madison works at Aaron’s wound, the occasional pained grunt leaving Aaron, and Alex shifts on his feet, anxiety and restlessness running through him.

He moves his eyes to Maria, and he tries to convey what he’s feeling without words, tries to ask with his expression how they’re going to get out of this or when she and Aaron will finally do something, but Maria only holds his gaze for a few seconds before she’s looking away, revealing nothing to him.

Madison finishes up tending to Aaron relatively quickly, and then there’s the sound of footsteps approaching, and they all look up as Jefferson and Lafayette return, a strange expression on Jefferson’s face.

“Did you find anything?” Madison asks, and Jefferson nods, but his eyes are on Alex, and his grip is tight on Lafayette. “Thomas? What was it? What did you find?”

“Something that we all need to see, I think. Something that Hamilton will have to explain, since this one - “ He shakes Lafayette roughly “ - seems unable to. Everyone up. Let’s go.”

There’s movement as everyone gets to their feet, but Alex, already standing, makes eye contact with Lafayette to try and get some kind of idea of what they found, but Lafayette just stares back with red-rimmed eyes and a frightened expression.

They walk for maybe ten minutes, and Alex’s body is thrumming with nerves, his mind going through option after option of what Jefferson could be leading them to. But then Jefferson is stopping, and when Alex looks out at the area ahead of them, his stomach drops.

“More bodies?” Madison asks, sounding confused. “From the naval crew? But - “

“Not the naval crew,” Jefferson interjects, and he turns to face Alex. “The uniforms are different. Do you know who these are, Hamilton?”

Alex shakes his head, his throat dry, and he prays that what he’s thinking is wrong.

“These,” Jefferson starts slowly, eyes still on Alex, “are the remains of Hanover’s crew.”

Alex inhales sharply, bracing himself, because he expects to hear Aaron cry out or make some kind of sound, but there’s only a heavy silence, and Alex thinks that might be almost worse.

“Which means,” Jefferson continues, “that our little ship rat has been lying.”

“N-no. No, I - “

“Choose your next words very carefully, Hamilton.”

Alex swallows, and he can feel his hands shaking. “I wasn’t lying. Laf...Laf said he had seen people. I...I just told you what he said. There’s...maybe this isn’t the whole crew, maybe - “ He cuts off when Jefferson pulls out his gun, pointing it at Eliza.

“Stop lying!”

“I’m not!” Alex cries out, and he takes a step forward. “Please, Jefferson. I...just think about it! Someone had to get off of this planet with the map in order for it to eventually get to me, right? So...so this can’t be all of Hanover’s crew. Maybe some are still alive, maybe that’s who Lafayette saw.”

“It is all kind of strange,” Maria says, and Alex turns to where she is now holding Aaron up, and Alex’s heart clenches when he sees Aaron staring out at the bodies, his eyes vacant, lips parted slightly. “I mean, why are the bodies so far away from the naval crew? They couldn’t have been killed by them. So…”

“So what?” Jefferson asks, sounding impatient.

“So someone _else_ had to kill them. They could have turned on each other. It’s the only thing that makes sense.”

Jefferson stares hard at Maria for a few seconds, clearly thinking about her words. But then his gaze is turning to Alex again, and his head tilts to one side.

“Is that what you think, ship rat? That Hanover’s crew turned on each other? Is that the new tale you’re going to spin?”

“It’s not...I’m not lying,” Alex tells him, voice shaking, but he maintains eye contact with Jefferson. “Why would I lie about any of this? What good does it do me? I swear, Lafayette said he saw people here at some point.”

“At some point,” Jefferson repeats, his voice soft, and then he’s releasing Eliza and stepping closer to Alex, bending down so that his mouth is right next to Alex’s ear. “I know you’re lying to me about something, Hamilton, and when I find out what exactly it is, you’ll regret it.”

Alex swallows hard as Jefferson pulls back, now unable to meet the man’s eyes, every part of his body suddenly feeling numb.

“I’m going to scout a head again,” Jefferson announces, his voice louder as he directs his words to Madison and Maria. “Just a mile or so. And this time…” He reaches for Eliza, wrapping his fingers around her forearm. “You’ll be coming with me. Keep everyone tied up. I’ll be back.”

Once Jefferson’s footsteps fade, Alex lifts his eyes up, staring at the now empty space in front of him. Well, the empty space save for the bodies on the ground. The bodies that most likely include Aaron’s parents.

Alex knows that he should turn around, that he should go to Aaron and try to comfort him, or at least apologize, but his feet feel rooted to the spot. The guilt in his stomach is weighing him down, and a part of him is too cowardly to face Aaron after feeding him the lie that his parents might still be alive.

“Alex.”

He jolts at the call of his name, and then turns slightly to see Maria beckoning him over.

She holds out the canteen of water. “Go around to everyone again and give them some.”

Alex nods, glad to have something to do that will distract him from his thoughts, even if for just a couple of minutes.

He sets the map down on the ground beside Maria, and then he grabs the canteen from her awkwardly, his wrists still bound together in front of him. But when he feels his fingers bump against something cold, his brows furrow, and he looks closer, watching as Maria maneuvers the canteen into his hands, giving him a significant look as she does.

Alex peers down, sees a flash of silver against the canteen, and then he connects the dots. She’s slipping him a knife.

“Your hands need to stay bound,” Maria says next. “Along with everyone else’s. Jefferson’s orders. Understood?”

Alex lifts his gaze away from the knife, stares at Maria for a few seconds, and then he nods again. “Understood.”

He goes over to Theodosia first, awkwardly tipping the water into her mouth. Then he glances over his shoulder to see that Maria is talking to Madison, standing in front of him and blocking them from his line of sight.

But Alex hesitates, unsure if he’s supposed to cut the ropes on everyone. Surely Madison or Jefferson would notice that. And then there’s the fact that none of them besides Aaron has a weapon to fight with, even if their hands were free.

So Alex steps away from Theodosia, and he almost goes past Lafayette, remembering how the Android doesn’t need water, but then he pauses, his gaze going to the tears that are still pouring down Lafayette’s face.

“Laf,” he murmurs, kneeling beside him. “Are you okay?”

Lafayette lets out a small laugh, and then he shakes his head. “I suppose it was foolish of me to think that my crew was not dead, but I...I was always telling myself that they simply left the planet, perhaps accidentally leaving me behind. I…” Lafayette cuts off, voice cracking.

“I’m sorry about your crew,” Alex tells him softly, his throat feeling tight. “But I...I promise we’ll get out of here, off of this planet, and you’ll come with us, okay? You won’t be alone anymore.”

Lafayette peers up at him, a small smile on his face. “You are very nice. A good friend. Now go. I am fine.”

Alex stands up once again, and then he takes a deep breath before turning to where Aaron is propped up against a tree.

Aaron’s head is bowed, and even when Alex kneels in front of him, Aaron doesn’t look up, doesn’t even seem to notice Alex’s presence.

Alex shifts closer, and he takes another breath. “I brought you some water.” He holds the canteen out, but again, Aaron doesn’t move, and Alex swallows hard. “Aaron, I’m…” But he stops there, not knowing what else to say.

Because what _can_ he say? Aaron’s parents are dead. Have been dead for years and years. Everything that Aaron had worked for, everything that he’d been striving for, he found dead on the ground of this planet. How can Alex possibly say anything to ease the pain of that?

But Alex breathes in deep for a third time, and tries again. “Aaron, I’m sorry. I know you...I’m just...I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

A laugh escapes Aaron, cracked and hollow, and it startles Alex enough that he moves back a little, almost reaching out to place hand on Aaron’s shoulder before he remembers that his wrists are bound together.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Aaron says lowly, his voice hoarse, and Alex has to bite back his confession of how he lied, of how he made Aaron think his parents were still alive. “I’m the only one who…” He stops talking, head still bowed towards the ground, and Alex sees his shoulders rise and fall a few times. 

“I’m still sorry,” Alex tells him softly, and Aaron just shakes his head.

“I thought…” Aaron trails off, still not moving his eyes to meet Alex’s gaze. “”I kept telling myself that, at least if my parents are alive, then there’s a reason. There’s a _reason_ for everything that I’ve done. There’s a reason for lying to you, for hurting you.”

“Aaron…”

“But I was fooling myself,” Aaron continues. “Deep down I knew my parents weren’t alive anymore, but I had to hold onto that. It kept me sane. Or I thought it did. And then I met you, and I...you made me question everything. But I...I kept telling myself I _had_ to lie, because I _had_ to find my parents, I had to bring them home. But it....” Aaron shakes his head. “It was all for nothing. I lost them all over again, and I...” He trails off again, his gaze finally meeting Alex’s, eyes wet with tears. “I lost even more than I thought I would.”

Alex feels guilt and pity pool in his chest, and there’s a strange sensation of shock filling him, shock at seeing the tears that are beginning to slip down Aaron’s face. He doesn’t remember ever seeing Aaron cry before this.

Alex moves forward, loops his arms around Aaron and swallows past the tightness in his throat, which is either from pity or from nerves, or perhaps a combination of both, and he feels Aaron stiffen in surprise.

“You’ll be okay,” Alex whispers to him, trying to maneuver his arms lower, his fingers bumping awkwardly against Aaron’s hands as he lets go of the canteen. “You have to be okay. You have to…” Alex trails off, swallowing again, and he manages to slip the knife into Aaron’s hands, and he’s sure that Aaron must be able to feel his heart thumping wildly against his chest. “You have to be okay,” Alex finishes, and he brushes his fingers over the backs of Aaron’s hands before pulling back, but he keeps his arms looped around Aaron’s neck.

And Aaron peers up at him, face streaked with tears, Alex wants to look away, wants to curl in on himself because he played a part in this, in hurting Aaron, and he doesn’t even know it, but just as Alex is about to move away, Aaron whispers his name.

“Do you trust me?” he asks, eyes searching Alex’s face, and when Alex nods in response a few seconds later, Aaron just keep staring. “Why?

And Alex stares back, his answer getting lodged in his throat. He swallows once, twice. “Because…” but he trails off after the one word, and he laughs weakly before shaking his head. He doesn't have the energy to think hard about why. He leans down slightly, his forehead coming to rest against Aaron’s. “Because I do.”

Aaron doesn’t say anything after that, neither of them do. They just stay as they are, Alex’s arms hanging loosely around Aaron’s neck, their faces inches apart as they breathe, and then it all becomes a little too much for Alex, and he goes to pull away.

“The canteen,” Aaron murmurs to him, and Alex has a moment of confusion before he realizes he’d left it sitting behind Aaron.

So he leans forward, fumbling for it, and then he moves his arms off of Aaron and stands, unsteady on his feet.

He looks down at Aaron, but the man has tilted his face down again, and Alex stares at him for a few more seconds before stepping away, wishing that they were somewhere else, that they were safe, that they didn’t need to worry about being hurt for talking to each other for too long.

Alex hands the canteen back to Maria, grabs the map off the ground, and then he goes to sit a few feet in front of Aaron, hoping he’ll be able to block him from Madison’s view just in case he’s already working on cutting through the ropes binding his hands together. 

But Alex is worried that Aaron won't be strong enough to help them. Even if he wasn't injured so badly, now he doesn't even have the hope of finding his parents to motivate him. What if he can't do anything?

 _He still has you_ , a small part of Alex's brain reminds him, but Alex grimaces, his heart beating strangely in his chest at the thought. He's barely had time to think about the fact that Aaron has admitted to truly caring about Alex, that he was ready to betray his crew in order to make sure Alex and his friends were okay. It's still all too confusing for Alex to make sense of, and he knows that now isn't the time to worry about that. 

Jefferson returns a few minutes later, shoving Eliza away from him as he goes over to talk to Maria and Madison, all of them speaking in hushed tones.

Eliza walks over to Alex, and then plops down beside him.  “Are you okay?” Eliza asks softly, and Alex wants to laugh, because of course she would be the one to ask that even though _she's_ the one who had been stuck alone with Jefferson, probably with a gun to her head the whole time.

Alex opens his mouth to tell her yes, but then he pauses, and finds himself shaking his head, his throat tight.

Eliza scoots closer, and then she leans to rest her head on Alex’s shoulder. “We’ll be okay,” she tells him. “We’ll get out of this, Alex. Even if I have to fight Jefferson myself.”

Alex laughs, and he shifts slightly to rest his cheek on top of Eliza’s head. “As much as I’d like to see you kick Jefferson’s ass, I have to request that you don’t try to do that.”

“For you, anything.” She pauses for a moment. “But...there is a plan, right? You and Aaron...you two have a plan?”

Alex breathes out slowly through his nose, and he lets his eyes slip shut. “We’re working on it,” he whispers to her. “But I promise that I’ll get you out of here, okay?”

“I know you will,” Eliza whispers back, and then they both fall silent, continuing to lean against each other in an attempt to gain some semblance of comfort from the other’s presence.

-

Some time later, Alex is being woken with a rough shake, and he blinks his eyes open to see Jefferson staring down at him, and then, in the next second, he’s being pulled to his feet.

“Time to walk,” Jefferson snarls at him, and he bends down to grab the map off the ground, shoving it into Alex’s hands. “I’m done waiting. You are going to lead me to the treasure right now. Any more lies, any more distractions, and one of your friends die.”

Alex scrambles to open the map, the green glow that emits from it making his eyes burn for a few moments until they adjust to the light.

“Walk,” Jefferson barks at him, and Alex does.

The two green dots blinking on the map are close to each other, and Alex knows it won’t be much longer, and that scares him. He knows that they only have a small window of opportunity to overpower Jefferson, and he knows that any kind of mistake will result in someone getting hurt, in someone dying.

Alex tries to walk slowly, tries to delay the moment that he knows is coming, but Jefferson is directly behind him, his pace keeping Alex from slowing down too much. And it doesn’t take long for the dots on the map to overlap, glowing brighter than they ever have, and Alex stops, knowing that they’ve arrived.

But when he looks up, ready to set his gaze on where the map has led them, all he sees in front of them is open space. Open space that leads right to the edge of a cliff.

“I don’t understand,” Madison says, being the first one to break the silence, and Alex turns to see him standing in front of Lafayette and Aaron with a baffled expression on his face. “Where’s the treasure?”

Alex doesn’t answer, figuring the question isn’t directed at him. He keeps staring at the map, at how the two dots are on top of each other, and he doesn’t understand either. Unless…

Unless someone already got to to the treasure. Unless it’s already gone.

“Hamilton.” Jefferson grabs at him roughly, spinning him so that they’re facing each other. “You better have a good explanation for this.”

“It’s not like I made the map. I don’t understand this any more than you do!”

Jefferson snarls, and then he’s tugging Alex up by the collar of his shirt, bringing their faces close together. “You tell me where the treasure is right now, or you’ll regret it.”

“I don’t know!”

Alex is on the ground before he can blink, one of his elbows breaking his fall and sparking in pain. The map tumbles a few feet away, but he barely has time to worry about it because then Jefferson’s foot is on his neck, his boot pressing down.

“Did you lie to me?” Jefferson asks, his voice deadly calm. “Were you just wasting my time?”

Alex shakes his head frantically, struggling as much as he can against the pressure, but it just makes everything hurt even more. “No,” he gasps out. “No, I didn’t...didn’t know this would happen. Please…”

Jefferson presses down harder, causing Alex to splutter, eyes rolling back, but then he’s moving his foot off.

And Alex rolls onto his side, coughing and gasping for air, and once his vision clears, his stomach plummets with fear, because Jefferson’s attention is now on Eliza, his hand fisted in her hair while his other hand holds a gun to her head.

“Jefferson,” Alex starts, and he pushes himself up into a sitting position. “I mean it, I’m not lying. I didn’t know this would happen. Please don’t...just give me time to figure this out, I’ll figure it out, I swear.”

“I think you need some reminding of what’s at stake,” Jefferson tells him, pressing the gun to Eliza’s temple, and Alex’s stomach lurches.

“No, no, no.” He shifts forward on his knees. “Don’t. I’ll figure it out. I’ll - “

“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” Jefferson spits out. “I’m in charge. And clearly you’ve forgotten that. This is your fault.” He cocks the gun. “Your friend is going to die today because you decided to mess around and try to trick me. Maybe if you own up to that, I’ll spare the rest of your friends. But for now, I’m - “

Alex misses the rest of Jefferson’s words, his knee getting caught in some kind of dip in the ground as he shuffles forward, and it distracts him for a brief moment. But when he glances down to see what exactly it is, his heart skips a beat.

“Wait!” he cries out, and then he’s swiping his hands across the ground as best he can. “Wait, wait…” He lets out a breathless laugh when the hole he fell into is finally revealed, and he glances up at Jefferson, who is staring down at him in confusion.

“What? What did you find?”

“The doorway,” Alex says, and he crawls over to where the map had fallen, grabbing at it and then holding it above the hole in the ground, comparing the etchings that both of them have engraved on their surfaces. “There’s a doorway, and we just have to open it.” He places the map down into the hole, adrenaline racing as it clicks into place.

But nothing happens.

“Hamilton,” Jefferson growls, but Alex shakes his head.

“Shut up,” he whispers, “just shut up and let me think.”

He stares down at the map, trying to figure out what he’s doing wrong, and then his eyes get drawn to the blinking green dot that is now showing both their location and the apparent location of the treasure. Praying that he’s right, Alex reaches forward with both hands, one of his fingers pressing at the dot.

The hologram burns brightly for a second, a bright flash of light, and then everything is back to normal, except for one significant difference - the large portal the has opened up at the edge of the cliff.

“Holy shit,” Alex says as he stands, staring at the triangular doorway that has appeared out of nowhere, the other side showing mountains and mountains of gold and jewels, the treasure standing out starkly in comparison to the dull grey sky that is surrounding the doorway.

“What the hell is that,” Jefferson murmurs, sounding just as awed. “How…”

“It’s some kind of portal,” Alex says. “It’s...that’s how Hanover and his crew traveled so fast! The map must open these doorways all across the galaxy, and Hanover must of known where he could open them!”

Alex turns to glance around at everyone else, and he’s surprised to see that Aaron isn’t even looking at the door, his body still slumped against Lafayette, who seems to be struggling with keeping Aaron upright and Alex notices with a spark of panic that Aaron's chest is barely moving, his breathing unsteady.

“A portal,” Jefferson echoes, and then he’s laughing, and the sound causes a chill to run down Alex’s spine as he turns to look at the man again. It’s not a good sound. “This is turning out better than I ever could have imagined.”

Alex swallows once, twice. “What...what do you mean?”

Jefferson smirks, still holding his gun to Eliza’s head. “Did you really think there was any version of this where you all got out of here alive? Or any of you got out of here? Now that I know where the treasure is, I don’t need any of you.”

“But - “

“Don’t worry,” Jefferson continues. “I’ll save you for last. Or, almost last. I want Aaron to be last. I want him to watch.” Jefferson snorts as his glances over at Aaron. “If he’s even still conscious enough to watch. He's practically dead on his feet.” Then Jefferson’s eyes are on him. “So thank you, Hamilton, for all of your help. I really appreciate it.”

Jefferson pulls Eliza closer, his fingers moving as if he’s going to pull the trigger, and Alex’s whole world lurches, and he cries out.

But Jefferson freezes before he does anything, eyes going wide, expression shifting to surprise and then to rage, and Alex spins to look behind him, heart surging  in his chest when he sees Aaron standing upright, Madison suddenly in his grasp, and the gun Alex had given him pointed right at Madison’s head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter k i l l e d me it was so hard to write but IT IS OVER NOW. And I am so excited for the next couple of chapters y'all.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation. Leave them here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies :D


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo!! A new chapter!!! 
> 
> Enjoy x

As Alex takes in the sight of Aaron standing there, staring right at Jefferson with one arm around Madison’s throat as he holds the gun against his temple with his other hand, Alex is suddenly struck by the strange urge to start crying, relief flowing through him in waves.

Because it’s over. It’s all finally over.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Jefferson asks, his voice angry, but confused, as well, and when Alex glances over at him, the man looks bewildered. “You don’t have a weapon.”

And that’s when Alex remembers that Bellamy had hidden the gun from Jefferson and Madison.

Aaron just smirks, and then he shifts slightly, shooting off to the side, the shot hitting a tree in the distance with a bang, and then Aaron presses the gun back to Madison’s head.

“Bellamy,” Jefferson snarls out, and he jerks Eliza closer to him. “I should have known. You two were attached at the hip. How come I didn’t feel that gun on you when I was patting you down? You already had a gun in your holster, and I took that.”

“Cause I got it,” Alex says, and he pushes himself to his feet. “That’s where I was, when I went back to the ship - meeting Bellamy. He gave me the gun. After he killed Lee.”

Anger flashes across Jefferson’s face. “You’re going to regret telling me that, Hamilton.”

“Is he?” another voice says, and they all look over at Maria, who has her own gun pointed at Jefferson. “You make one move, and I’ll shoot you. Without hesitation.”

“You’ll shoot anyway,” Jefferson spits back, his eyes wide, and he looks back over at Aaron. “Why shouldn’t I take someone else down with me, too?”

Aaron stares back at him, his expression more calm than Alex could ever manage under the circumstances. “Because,” Aaron says slowly, “because I’m willing to let the two of you out of this with your lives.”

Jefferson laughs, the sound sharp and unsettling. “Really? Why would I believe that? Because I don’t. So what’s stopping me from killing Miss Schuyler right now?”

“Do it and Maria will shoot between the eyes you before you can even blink. And then I’ll kill James. I’ll shoot him in the leg first. And then the arm. Maybe the stomach would be next, I’m not sure. But I’d draw it out. And it would be all your fault.”

As Jefferson and Aaron stare at each other, Alex lets his own gaze roam over Aaron, taking in the firm set of his jaw, the strength and power that seems to be exuding from him, the anger in his eyes, and for a moment, just a moment, Alex sees Silver standing in front of him, instead of Aaron.

“Why would torturing James have any impact on my decision?” Jefferson asks, and he sneers, but Alex can see the slight widening of his eyes, the panic in his face. “Why would I care about that?”

“Well it’s like you said,” Aaron says with a small smile. “Love makes even the strongest of us weak, right?”

Surprise hits Alex after those words, and he looks between Madison and Jefferson, wondering if what Aaron is implying are true. Alex has no idea of the relationship between Madison and Jefferson. All that he knows is that they knew each other long before they joined up with Aaron and his crew, so there must be a history between them. But is it enough for Jefferson to give in to Aaron?

Alex watches as Jefferson’s face twitches, and then his eyes are on Madison, who, after a few seconds, gives him a small nod.

“What are you offering?” Jefferson asks through gritted teeth.

“It's simple. You and James will drop your weapons, and then you will leave.”

“Leave? What do you mean _leave_? You expect us to stay stranded on this planet? That’s basically a death sentence anyway. No deal.”

“I never said that.” Aaron peers over to where Alex is standing, and then his gaze drops to where the map is. “We’ll pick a place for you to go. In fact, Alexander will do the honors of choosing, although I would suggest a place far from here, and far from your home planet.”

At first, Alex just blinks at Aaron, not understanding, but then he glances down at the map, too, staring at the blinking green dots and the other dots that symbolize other planets, and suddenly he understands. 

He glances up at Aaron. “I can pick anywhere?”

“Anywhere.”

Alex takes a closer look at the map, eyes trailing across all of the options in front of him, then his gaze is drawn to one dot in particular that is more isolated than a lot of others.  He presses his finger to it, and then looks up just in time to see the portal flicker shut and then re-open, revealing a dark landscape thick with trees.

They all stare at it for a few seconds, and then a low growl echoes through the portal, and Alex grins.

“This looks like a good one.”

Jefferson glares at him, but Aaron looks amused.

“You first, Thomas,” he tells him, eyes trained on his face. “Step away from Eliza, and then put your gun on the ground. And then, step through the portal.”

“What about James?”

“I’ll send him through after you.”

“You expect me to trust that?”

“No,” Aaron says. “But you have to. You don't have any other choice. To convince you, though, I certainly have no need for him here. He’ll follow after you. So go. And move slowly.”

At first, Jefferson still doesn’t move, and Alex has a moment of doubt, thinking that even this won’t work, that maybe Jefferson doesn't care about Madison enough for him to give up, and that Jefferson will still hurt someone.

But then Jefferson, inch by inch, raises his hands up, and takes a step, and then another, away from Eliza. He keeps his eyes on Aaron as he slowly crouches down to place the gun on the ground. As he walks forward, his eyes slide to Alex.

“Go to the portal,” Aaron says, voice firm. “You will not speak, or walk towards Alexander. Just go, Thomas. It’s over.”

Jefferson’s jaw twitches, but he looks away, focusing his gaze on Aaron. “Let me and James walk through together.”

“I told you that - “

“Well I don’t trust you!” Jefferson spits out, and he stretches out a hand. “Either you kill us both right here, or you let him go so that we go together.”

Aaron’s lips press into a firm line, but then he lowers his arm from where it’s pressed against Madison’s neck, and he places a hand on his shoulder instead. Then, he nudges Madison forward, keeping his gun trained on the back of his head. 

“If either of you try anything, I will shoot.”

Jefferson grabs for Madison’s hand, and tugs him towards the portal.

And Alex watches, his feeling of relief growing stronger and stronger the closer Madison and Jefferson get to stepping through the portal.

Right before they step through, Jefferson pauses, glancing back over his shoulder at Alex. And then, with lightning fast speed, he’s dipping a hand into Madison’s back pocket, and there’s a flash of silver, and a smirk on Jefferson’s face as he raises an arm.

But then there’s gun going off, a shout and a small spray of red, and the last Alex sees of Jefferson is the man cradling his bleeding hand to his chest as Madison steps through the portal and drags Jefferson in after him.

Alex blinks and takes in a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in. In front of the portal is a knife, and Alex realizes with a slight jolt that Jefferson had meant to throw it at him, and that he most likely would have hit his target if he hadn't been shot.

He looks over at Aaron, whose gun still has smoke billowing out around it, the man’s eyes trained on the space where Jefferson and Madison had just disappeared.

And then, quicker than Alex can comprehend, Aaron’s whole posture changes, gun falling from his grip, and he stumbles back, a low groan leaving him, and Alex rushes forward, catching him before he can fully fall to the ground.

“Aaron…” Alex can’t hold up his weight, so he slowly lowers him down so that he can sit, and Aaron gives him a tired smile, eyelids drooping.

“Good thing they left when they did,” he murmurs. “A few seconds more and I think I would have passed out.”

“You’re fine,” Alex tells him, and he swallows, tries to smile. “You saved us.”

Aaron stares up at him, shaking his head. “No. It was all you. I just did some acting at the end.”

Alex opens his mouth to argue, but then the sound of movement from behind him distracts him, and he glances over his shoulder to see that Maria has untied everyone.

Then Theodosia is picking up the gun Jefferson dropped just moments ago, and she points it right at Aaron.

“Give me a reason why I shouldn’t shoot you,” she says, her voice cold, and Alex sees Eliza throw Theodosia a scared look. “It’s your fault we got in this mess. I should kill you.”

“You should,” Aaron answers faintly. “I would.”

“Stop it,” Alex says, glancing between Aaron and Theodosia. “He just saved us, Theodosia. Please. There’s...there’s a lot you don’t know, a lot that - “

“Then by all means, fill me in, Mr. Hamilton.”

“I…”

“There’s a time for that later,” Maria interjects, which Alex is thankful for. “Once we’re all back on the ship, Alex will fill you all in on everything.”

“But there are things that are very confusing to me,” Lafayette says, and he looks at Alex. “Why did you lie to Jefferson about the crew? Why did you make me tell him that I had seen others on the planet when that was not true? I had never seen anyone.”

Alex stiffens at Lafayette’s words, and he feels Aaron do the same.

Alex shuts his eyes for a moment, trying to keep his breathing steady, and then he risks a glance down at Aaron, doing his best to prepare himself for the anger and betrayal that will be clear on Aaron’s face.

But instead, the sight that greets Alex is unexpected.

Aaron’s eyes look sad, with maybe the smallest hint of pain, but there’s understanding there, more than anything else, and it catches Alex off guard.

“I…” Alex swallows, licks over his dry lips, feeling the need to explain, to justify himself. “I just...I was worried that you wouldn’t be able to...that if you didn’t think...I - “

“Alexander.” Aaron says his name softly, further surprising Alex, and then gives a shake of his head. “Like Maria said, there’s plenty of time for that later.”

Alex ducks his head, embarrassment and guilt sweeping over him, but he nods, accepting the temporary out that Aaron is offering him.

“Well, shall we start heading back then?” Theodosia asks, finally lowering the gun. “I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say I could use a good meal and an actually restful sleep.”

There are some murmurs of agreement, but Alex’s eyes are drawn to Aaron, whose gaze has moved to the portal, yearning clear on his face, and Alex knows that there's something they have to do first. And maybe it's crazy for Alex to still want to do this for Aaron, but he doesn't let himself think too hard on that. Besides, there's a part of him that has to this for himself, too.

“Have you all forgotten why we even came here in the first place?” Alex asks, and he grins as he stands, moving towards the map. “I think we all deserve to see the treasure that caused us so much trouble.”

He presses on the green dot again, and they all watch as the portal switches to show them the piles and piles of gold that are contained on the other side.

“Amazing,” Eliza murmurs, and Alex silently agrees.

It _is_ amazing. And he can’t believe it actually exists, that the treasure is actually here, right in front of them.

A loud noise startles them all, and Alex turns to see that Maria had just shot a flare into the sky, and when she looks back down at all of them, she smiles.

“A signal for Bellamy," she explains. "He’ll start flying the ship towards us. So, shall we?” She gestures towards the portal.

Alex steps over to it, and then pauses, turning back to look at Aaron, who is still sitting on the ground, an almost bewildered expression on his face as he continues to look through the portal, as if he's having trouble believe all of this, too.

After a moment, Alex goes over to him and holds out a hand.

And for a few seconds, Aaron just stares at him, but then he’s sliding his metal hand into Alex’s, and with more effort than Alex wants to admit to, he manages to pull Aaron to his feet, the man still unsteady as he puts weight on his injured leg.

“Let’s go,” Alex murmurs, and Aaron stares down at him, expression unreadable, but then he nods.

Alex and Aaron step through first, everyone else trailing behind them, and Alex actually stops in his tracks, the mountains of treasure overwhelming up close.

There’s gold and jewels and things that Alex doesn’t even recognize, but everything sparkles and shines and he can’t help but start laughing.

“This is fucking insane,” he says.

“I never imagined there would be so much,” Theodosia exclaims from behind them. “This is…”

“Fucking _insane_ ,” Alex repeats, and he laughs again, looking around and trying to take it all in.

“What is that?” Lafayette asks, pointing ahead of them. “There, just beyond that pile. It...it looks like…”

Alex makes his way over to where Lafayette stands, aiding Aaron along with him. He feels Aaron freeze, his whole body going taut, and when Alex glances ahead, his stomach drops, and he opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.

A few feet ahead of them, resting on a seat that is almost throne-like, is another skeleton.

“Is that…”

“Hanover,” Aaron whispers, his voice hoarse as he confirms what Alex had been thinking. “It has to be.”

Alex wants to avert his eyes, but he can’t seem to tear his gaze away from the skeleton, who eerily seems like it is smiling at them.

“But how did he die?” Eliza asks.

“It must have been in whatever fight occurred,” Maria answers. “He probably got injured, made his way back in here...and, well…”

“Died surrounded by all the treasure he stole,” Aaron finishes, and when Alex glances over at him, he almost looks disgusted. “He was obsessed with it until the end. My guess is he killed his entire crew to ensure the treasure remained his, and only his.”

Alex swallows, eyes going back to Hanover’s skeleton. How could he have chosen to kill his entire crew, just to make sure no one else got the treasure? Is anything really that important? And he did it only to end up dying himself. None of it makes sense in Alex’s mind. None of it seems worth it.

“So, what do we do?” Eliza asks, breaking Alex from his thoughts. “I mean, what was the plan? There’s way too much treasure to take back in one go.”

Theodosia laughs. “That’s true. I was not expecting this vast amount. Perhaps we can just take some back, as proof, and then bring another expedition back. I’m sure it would go much more smoothly, especially since we know about the portals now. I - “ Theodosia cuts off suddenly, her brow furrowing.

And seconds later, Alex realizes why.

There’s a strange sound filling the room, almost like a whirring, and Alex thinks he can feel the ground beneath his feet vibrating.

“What’s - “

The ground lurches, and Alex stumbles back, still holding onto Aaron as the noise starts to grow louder and louder.

“The floor!” Lafayette yells, and when Alex looks to where he’s pointing, his breath hitches.

The ground is starting to open up, gold coins and jewels rattling and falling in to the rapidly growing breach as the floor slides apart.

“It’s a booby trap,” Maria shouts over the noise. “Hanover must have rigged the room! We need to get out of here!”

“But the treasure,” Theodosia exclaims. “We came all this way, we  - “

“There’s no time, look!”

They all turn to look at the portal, and ground of the area on the other half is beginning to shake as well.

“He rigged the whole planet?” Eliza asks, fear lacing her voice. “What kind of maniac does that?”

“How much time do we have?” Alex asks, turning to look at Maria, who just shrugs helplessly. “We need to get to the ship. Bellamy is on his way, right? So we’ll run to meet him and…” He trails off, trying to think of what to do. “Then we’ll go through the portal! I’ll set it to a new destination! Then we’ll just go right through it!”

Everyone starts to nod, and Theodosia reaches for Eliza’s hand.

“Then let’s go. We don’t have time to waste.”

Her and Eliza exit first, followed by Lafayette, and Alex starts to move Aaron along with him, right behind Maria, but then Aaron is calling Alex’s name, and he pauses and turns.

“Over there,” Aaron shouts, pointing to something beside Hanover’s chair. “Is that a lever?”

Alex narrows his eyes, tries to get a better view, which is difficult considering the whole room is vibrating and in mid-collapse.

“It might be,” Alex says a few seconds later. “Why? You think it’ll shut off the booby trap?”

“I think there’s a chance. I mean, someone like Hanover would want to make sure there was a way to turn it off just in case it got accidentally set off.”

Alex chews at his lip, considering the options.

The side of the room where the lever is already has a large hole in front of it, where most of the treasure is falling down, and Alex knows that trying to jump across it is a risk. But he doesn’t know how much time they have before the whole planet collapses. 

He looks up at Aaron, who is staring hard at the lever, jaw clenched with desperation clear on his face, and Alex knows which option he wants. He knows that Aaron still doesn’t want to lose all of the treasure.

“Hey!” Maria yells at the both of them. “We don’t have time to just stand around! Come on!”

“We’re going to try and stop this!” Alex shouts back at her. “There’s a lever, right there! If we can get to it, then the planet won’t collapse, and we’ll all still get some treasure!”

“Alex, that’s - “ 

“You go,” Alex continues, knowing that they have to take this chance. “Help Eliza and Theodosia! We’ll be right behind you, I promise!”

But Maria keeps standing there, staring at them with conflicting expressions on her face. 

“Go, Maria,” Aaron tells her, and Maria gives him a long look before nodding, disappearing through the portal.

As soon as she’s gone, Alex and Aaron make their way over to the ledge of the hole that has opened up, getting wider and wider as the seconds go by. And if that wasn’t scary enough, the hole has opened up to reveal what must be the core of the planet, lava bubbling at the bottom, heat rising and making Alex pull away from the edge.

“Alexander,” Aaron starts. “I...my leg, I can’t make that jump.”

It takes a moment for Aaron’s words to sink in, but once they do, he feels nerves start to prickle over his skin.

“Okay,” Alex murmurs. “Okay.” He disentangles himself from Aaron, and then takes a few steps back, trying to gauge the distance he’ll have to jump. “ _Shit._ ”

“Alexander, maybe - “

“I’ve got this,” Alex interrupts despite his shaking hands. He has to do this. If it will save everyone, what choice does he have?

He takes one more step back, takes a deep breath, and then starts to run. But then, just as he’s about to reach the point where he’s going to jump, the ground gives a violent lurch, and Alex feels his ankle roll, and he cries out as he falls.

It happens fast, too fast. One moment Alex is on solid ground, and the next he’s falling through the air, completely disoriented.

His hands scramble out in front of him, and he hisses in pain when he manages to grab hold of something.  When his eyes reopen - Alex not having even realized he’d closed them - he realizes that he’d tumbled right into the hole, but had managed to grab onto the a part of the wall a few feet down.

Alex can already feel himself starting to slip, and he knows it’s only a matter of seconds until he falls. 

He tilts his head up to see Aaron already staring back at him with panic in his eyes. He calls Alex’s name, and he reaches out with his metal hand.  Alex tries to grab the extended hand, but they’re too far apart, and he feels his hand that’s still on the wall slip even more so he brings his hand back and holds on as tightly as he can. 

“You’re too far,” Alex yells, and his voice is shaking so much that he can barely get the words out.

“Just hold on,” Aaron calls down to him. “I can try to get to the lever! I can still stop this from happening!”

“I don’t - I can’t hold on. Aaron, please!”

Aaron stares down at him, and Alex can tell that the man is trying to figure out some kind of solution where he can save Alex _and_ the treasure. Alex knows that there’s a part of Aaron that can’t handle losing the treasure and his parents all in one go.

But he also knows that he can’t hold much longer. He knows he’s going to fall. He’s going to die.

He lets his eyes close, trying to calm down, trying, for some reason, to feel some sort of peace. Dying in pursuit of treasure is a pretty good way to go, all things considered. Maybe there will be stories told about him some day. Maybe-

Alex cries out as his arms start to tremble violently, the exhaustion from holding himself up so long starting to seep into his muscles. He grits his teeth, laughing a little at how futile this is. He should just let go. He should just stop prolonging the pain and fall. Only the tips of his fingers are keeping him up now, anyway. He takes a deep breath.

And then he lets go.

But he doesn’t fall.

Instead, strong metal fingers are curling around his wrist, and Alex’s eyes fly open , looking down to see his feet still dangling hundreds of feet above the lava. He looks up, heart leaping in his chest when his eyes meet Aaron’s. Then he’s being pulled up, back onto the ledge, collapsing against of Aaron once they’re both safe.

“Aaron,” Alex gasps, feeling himself start to shiver uncontrollably, the reality of what almost happened crashing down on him. He tangles his fingers into Aaron’s shirt, looking over the man’s shoulders to see the treasure continuing to slip off of the edge behind him, the side of the room with the lever even further away now. “You…” Alex pauses and swallows, looking back at Aaron. “You saved me.”

Aaron is looking right back at him, not in anger or frustration, no regret or despair in his face from losing the treasure. There is just pure relief etched into every line of his face, his eyes brimming with it. “Yes,” he chokes out, hands coming up to cup Alex’s face. “Yes, I did.”

A sob escapes Alex’s throat, and he clings to Aaron, letting all of his fear out in body-wracking cries, tears slipping down his cheeks and over Aaron’s fingers. And then Aaron pulls him closer, wrapping his arms around Alex, rocking him back and forth, holding him through all of it. 

“I thought you were going to let me fall,” Alex whispers over a hiccup, and he feels Aaron tighten his grip around him. “I thought-“

“No,” Aaron tells him, his voice hoarse. “I’m-I’m sorry, I should’ve…I-“ Aaron tangles a hand into Alex’s hair, pulling him even closer and exhaling shakily, seemingly unable to say anything else.

Alex is about to say something himself when his gaze roams to behind Aaron again, his eyes widening at what he sees.

“We have to go,” he says urgently, scrambling to his feet and wiping at his face before hauling Aaron to his feet as well.

More holes have opened up around them, and when Alex takes a step forward, wincing at the pain that sparks in his ankle, he starts to panic out how they’re going to get out of this. 

But he starts to walk anyway, doing his best to support Aaron along the way. There’s an excruciating moment where they both need to leap a small distance over a slowly widening crevice, but they manage it, even if Aaron does stumble to his knees afterwards.

“Come on,” Alex yells at him, holding out his hands. “Get up. We’re almost there.”

But Aaron lifts his head, his expression apologetic. “I…”

“What are you doing?” Alex asks, and he steps closer to Aaron, his hands still outstretched. “Come on.”

“I…” Aaron licks his lips, eyes darting to the ground. “I don’t think I…” He stops again, swallows hard. Then he glances over his shoulder before facing Alex again, their eyes meeting, and Aaron’s gaze is full of something that makes Alex’s stomach twist.

“Get up” Alex tells him again, throat feeling tight all of a sudden. “Aaron.” He leans in to grab at Aaron’s hands, but the man actually jerks away. “ _Aaron_.”

“Everything I worked for is here,” Aaron says, his voice sounding far away. “This place, it’s…since I was eight this is where I’ve strived to be. It…my parents – “ his voice cracks “ – the treasure, this is all I know, Alexander, I don’t think I can – “

“Get _up_ ,” Alex repeats for a third time. When Aaron doesn’t move, Alex feels anger start to bubble under his skin. “What? You really want to stay here and die? You think that’s what you deserve?”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t think the same t-“

“I don’t think the same thing!” Alex shouts. “Don’t you dare try and put that on me! You know what I think?” He sees Aaron open his mouth to respond, but pushes on before he can. “I don’t think for a second that you want to die here. You’re just a coward! You don’t want to get on that ship and face all the people you hurt and betrayed, but that’s too bad because that’s exactly what you’re going to do!”

“Alexander, I – “

“I’m sorry about your parents,” Alex continues, “I’m sorry you lost them! And I’m sorry I lied! But you have people on that ship! You have Bellamy, you have Maria, you have – “ He stumbles there, Aaron’s eyes boring into this. “You have so many reasons to get on that ship,” he finishes rather lamely, but Aaron is still looking at him, so Alex stretches his hand out further. 

Aaron’s eyes dart down to it, and then back up to Alex. “Why are you so angry?”

Alex laughs at that. He wants to answer that question, and he knows he’ll have to, at some point. But right now, they’re running out of time, so Alex goes with the easy answer.

“Because if you don’t get on this ship with me, I won’t be able to finish yelling at you and I have so much more to say.”

Aaron’s lips twitch at that, but he still doesn’t move, doubt and exhaustion still clear on his face. But he shifts forward a little, and his eyes move away from Alex’s, settling on the ground once again. “You must hate me,” he murmurs lowly. “I would hate me. I don’t...I don’t know how you’ll ever be able to forgive me.”

Alex closes his eyes for a moment, and he shakes his head. He can’t do this right now. He can’t.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” he whispers. “Maybe...maybe right now I don’t think you deserve to be forgiven. But…” Alex takes a deep breath, opening his eyes to gaze down at Aaron. “But so what if that’s what I think?” Alex says next, and Aaron glances at him in surprise. “Prove me wrong. Prove me wrong, Aaron. And please... _please_ do not make me leave you behind before you get the chance.”

When Aaron still doesn’t move, Alex is seconds away from dragging the man through the portal. But then Aaron’s hands are suddenly in his, and Alex, after allowing himself a moment of relief, tugs Aaron to his feet.

They stare at each other, Aaron’s eyes roaming across Alex’s face, but then the ground shakes harder than it has since the trap was sprung, so Alex and Aaron take the last few steps through the portal, emerging onto the planet on the other side.

“There’s the ship,” Aaron says, pointing to a spot in the distance, where Alex can make out the ship getting closer. “Bellamy will probably stop it close to us and extend a ladder down.”

“Then I’ll get the portal ready,” Alex tells him, already letting go of Aaron and making his way over to where the map still sits.

As he crouches over it, it’s only then that Alex notices the sweat dripping down his temple and the way his hands are still shaking. He’s so tired. But they’re so close to getting out of this.

He presses the dot that he’s pretty sure is the Crescentia Spaceport, and he’s reaching out to pick up the map up when he pauses. 

The map has ended up being more trouble than it was worth. And Alex can’t help but think how dangerous it is. If it ended up in someone’s hands, someone like Hanover, this whole thing could happen again. Maybe it’s for the best that the treasure will disappear. Maybe it’s for the best that the whole damn planet is going to collapse.

Alex slowly stands up, still staring down at the map. But then he nods to himself, and he goes back over to Aaron, leaving the map behind him.

The ship reaches them quickly, and a rope ladder unravels down the side, Maria yelling at them to climb.

“You first,” Alex tells Aaron, and when the man opens his mouth, most likely to argue, Alex shakes his head. “You’re more injured than me. If you fall, I can catch you. Plus I don’t trust you to follow me up, so.”

Aaron lets out a short laugh. “Bellamy or Maria would drag me on, you don’t need to worry about that.” But then he walks over to the ladder, starting to climb, and Alex follows a short distance behind him.

It quickly becomes clear, though, that Aaron isn’t going to be able to climb all the way up, his metal leg barely working at this point.

“Pull us up!” Alex shouts. “Someone pull us up!”

There’s a few seconds of nothing, but then the ladder starts to shift, and Alex holds on tight as the ladder slowly but surely rises up the side of the ship. And when they’re finally near the top, Alex sees that it had taken everyone except Bellamy - presumably still steering the ship, to pull them both up.

Aaron and Alex both collapse on the deck, and once it’s clear that they’re okay, Theodosia looks over her shoulder.

“Take us through, Mr. Bellamy!”

Alex pushes himself up, and watches as the ship nears the portal within seconds, sailing through it with ease.

And then, just like that, Treasure Planet is behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation! Leave 'em here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies <3


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new day, a new chapter. This one...is so long.
> 
> Enjoy x

The ship continues to sail forward, all of them looking out at the space in front of them, at the clear, open sky, more blue than Alex remembered.

But then there are footsteps, voices calling out, and Alex looks across the deck to see Herc and John making their way over to the rest of them.

“Herc!” Eliza cries out, and she’s leaping at them, throwing her arms around their neck, and Alex can see her shoulders shaking. “I thought...I thought that you - “

“I’m fine,” Herc tells her. “I’m more than fine, don’t worry. Shit, I’m glad to see you.”

John comes to a halt in front of Alex, smile fading. “Fuck,” he exclaims, eyes wide. “What the hell happened to you?”

Alex finds himself laughing. He doesn’t even know where to start with that question.

“It’s a very long story,” he eventually says, and he accepts the hand that John holds out for him, pulling himself to his feet.

John moves his hand to Alex’s face slowly, fingertips brushing over what Alex is sure is an array of bruising, and he tries not to wince.

“ _Fuck_ ,” John says again, and then he’s leaning in, wrapping his arms around Alex in a tight hug that Alex returns. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Yeah. Yeah, me too.”

They jolt apart when someone else shouts, and Alex looks over John’s shoulder to see Bellamy sprinting over to them.

“Aaron! Aaron!”

Alex follows Bellamy’s eyesight, pulling further away from John as he realizes that Aaron had remained slumped on the deck, his chest rising and falling in jerky movements, but otherwise unmoving.

Bellamy drops to his knees beside him, fingers fluttering over his face, and then his chest, eyes tracking across all of his injuries, and then he glances up at Maria, his own face pale with worry.

“What the fuck happened?”

“Thomas happened,” Maria tells him bitterly. “He figured us out. Or at least, he figured enough out. And he acted in his usual fashion. We only got out of it because he didn’t suspect you or me until the end.”

Bellamy curses again, returning his attention to Aaron, bending down closer.  “Aaron,” he murmurs, his voice gentle. “Can you hear me?”

Aaron makes a soft noise in response, but his eyes open, and he seems to be able to focus on Bellamy. “Bell…”

“Yeah. You’re okay, now. I’ll take care of you.”

That pulls a laugh from Aaron, bu it comes out weak. “Just like old times.”

Bellamy laughs, too, but the sound is watery. “I’m always picking your ass off the ground.” He looks up again, eyes trailing over all of them. “We need medical supplies. He needs attention right now. The damage is bad, but I can fix it. And if Laurens is willing to help, things will go even more smoothly.”

John looks slightly uncomfortable, his gaze dropping to Aaron and a frown tugging at his lips seconds later. But after a few more seconds he just shrugs, which Alex knows is as close as saying yes as he’ll get.

“Can’t we take him to a doctor?” Alex asks, worry growing in him the longer he looks at Aaron, whose eyes have shut again. “We’re near the spaceport, right? We can just - “

But Bellamy starts shaking his head. “We’re not by a spaceport, maybe a day’s journey from one, Crescentia isn’t too far off. But Aaron won’t last without treatment right now.”

Alex’s mind flashes back to when he’d been kneeling beside the map. He thought he had pressed the dot symbolizing Crescentia, but he must have missed.  He glances behind them to see some unknown planet getting smaller and smaller as they fly away from it.

“Come _on_ ,” Bellamy says, getting Alex's attention back. “ I need help.”

“Mr. Bellamy,” Theodosia starts slowly, her voice stern. “If you truly believe that I will allow you to give out orders after you betrayed us, you are sorely mistaken.”

“He’s dying!” Bellamy retorts angrily. “He’s - “

“I am aware of the circumstances. And I am aware of the cause of them, which you played a direct role in.” Theodosia pauses there, her jaw tight. But then she takes a deep breath. “However, I have no desire to see anyone else die on this voyage. So I will permit the medical attention that Mr. Burr is in need of. On the condition that you administer it while in the brig.”

Bellamy’s face contorts further in anger, but then Aaron’s hand is rising, settling on Bellamy’s arm.

“‘S fine, Bell,” he says, words starting to slur. “Do as she says.”

Bellamy still doesn’t look happy, but he gives a tight nod.

“Perfect,” Theodosia continues, and she turns to John. “Mr. Laurens, will you be able to give Mr. Burr the attention he needs with the materials we have, and in the space of the brig?”

John scratches at the back of his head for a few moments, and then he lets out a long breath. “I think so. I’ll need some help gathering things and making sure the area is sanitary and - “

“I will assist you!”

Lafayette leaps forward with a hand raised in the air, and Alex watches as John flicks his eyes up and down the Android, a smirk slowly making its way across his mouth.

“Fantastic,” John says, and he’s still smirking when he peers over at Bellamy. “Can you get Aaron up and move him below deck? I’ll meet you there.” And then he's gone, moving below deck with Lafayette trotting at his heels.

Bellamy doesn’t bother responding, just slides his arms around Aaron and slowly pulls him into a sitting position before moving him to his feet in one quick motion.

But Aaron sways almost immediately, and then he’s leaning forward against Bellamy, hands grabbing at his shirt, and he presses his face to Bellamy’s shoulder.

At first Alex just assumes it’s the pain, or maybe his exhaustion, but then he sees that Aaron’s shoulders are shaking, and that Bellamy is murmuring in his ear, his brows furrowed, and then he’s frowning when Aaron gives a small shake of his head, and then a hand comes up to rub over Aaron’s back.

And Alex, after a moment, deduces that Aaron probably just told Bellamy about his parents.

“You’ll be okay,” Bellamy tells him softly, and then he lifts his head. “Maria, can you help?”

Maria rushes over, going to one side of Aaron, and together, they lead Aaron to the stairs, disappearing below deck.

And Alex can’t help but feel like something is very wrong about the whole situation. That there’s something wrong about the fact that they’re banishing Bellamy, Maria, and Aaron to the brig. He knows they're pirates, that they technically put them in the danger they just escaped from, but Alex still feels a sense of unease settle in his stomach.

“Well,” Theodosia says after a few moments, looking around at them all. “I think it is far past the time that we all sit down in my office and have a chat.”

They follow her down into her office, which is still in a state of disarray, but Theodosia sets a chair back on its feet and then sits down with a slight wince.

“Are you sure now is the time to talk?” Eliza asks in a worried voice, rushing over to Theodosia. “You’re still healing and - “ she cuts off when Theodosia waves a dismissive hand in the air.

“There’s nothing that can be done for broken ribs but time. I am fine, Eliza. It’s not knowing what exactly has happened that has me in pain.” She leans forward slightly, fixing her eyes on Alex. “So, Alexander, if you would. I’m sure we are all eager to hear the whole story.”

As everyone’s gaze comes to settle on him, Alex shifts on his feet, nerves fluttering over him.

But he does tell them al the full story, or at least what he has been able to make sense of.

He tells them about his relationship with Aaron throughout the voyage, about how weird Aaron would act sometimes, but how nice he was, too. He tells them about overhearing Aaron talking to his crew below deck before they attacked, but he makes sure to tell them about Aaron’s words of warning, about how he told Alex that there would be danger if he told anyone, and that, now that Alex has had time to think back on it, Aaron did seem to be trying to find some other solution.

“Some other solution than killing us all?” Theodosia asks with a slight scoff, and Alex stutters to a stop. “And yet he freely and eagerly joined in the fight, if I recall correctly.”

“That’s…” Alex trails off, needing to take a deep breath. “That’s just what he wanted us to think. What him, Bellamy, and Maria wanted. I...when I went to see Bellamy, he explained so much. He told me that him and Maria were running around trying to grab all of us and hide us during the fight.”

“Hide us? How would they manage that?”

Alex opens his mouth to respond, to tell her that Bellamy is a Morph, but something makes him pause, remembering the many promises he made to never tell.

But Herc clears their throat and steps forward. “Bellamy is a Morph,” they say. “He’s...well, he’s very powerful. He hid me from sight. He actually made Jefferson believe I had gotten shot.”

“And he protected John, too,” Alex continues, now that the secret was out. “And when I came back to the ship, he gave me a gun, the same gun that Aaron used to threaten Jefferson. He was helping us the whole time. He even killed Lee when Lee was trying to kill me.”

Then Alex launches further into what Bellamy had told him that day. He tells them about how Bellamy had manufactured Aaron's reputation as Silver by distorting what people saw when Aaron and his crew boarded their ships. He tells them how Aaron never wanted to kill people, that he would even accept people onto his crew who needed a new start in life. He tells them that all Aaron wanted was to get to Treasure Planet.

Theodosia arches a brow at the new information when Alex pauses. “But I don't understand why Aaron, Bellamy, and Maria turned against some of their crew. They betrayed them so easily and switched sides, only to end up not getting any of the treasure. What was it all for?”

“Well, that’s...that’s another part of the story,” Alex starts slowly. “When I came to talk to Bellamy, he told me how....how Aaron believed that his parents were on the planet.”

“His parents?”

“He thought they were still alive. Because….because the Navy sent them to go undercover to catch Hanover all those years ago, and they went so undercover that they managed to become part of his crew, but then...well, I guess things went too far. They got stuck on Treasure Planet and had no way out.”

Eliza makes a soft sound, almost sounding sympathetic, and Alex glances over at her.

“That’s why you told Jefferson the lie about there being other people on the planet.”

Alex winces at the reminder, but he nods. “I...I knew that they were dead or...or at least not there anymore. But I thought if Aaron knew that he would fall apart. And I knew he was our only chance, so…”

There’s a moment of silence, and then - 

“Why?” Theodosia asks. “Why did you think he was our only chance? It seems, out of all of us, you are the one he hurt the most. So why do you still trust him so much?”

Alex knew that he was going to have to answer this question at some point, that he would have to think about his answer. But he finds that he still isn’t quite ready. That diving into his feelings about Aaron in front of everyone is an almost nightmare-ish scenario, even after the whole thing with Jefferson.

“Mr. Hamilton?”

“I…” Alex licks at his lips, and shifts on his feet again. “I just do,” he says, echoing the words he had said to Aaron before. “I just trust him. I - “

“I’m going to need more than that, I’m afraid. I need to know why you put all of our lives into a pirate’s hands.”

Alex bristles at that, anger starting to trickle over him. “I was trying to save us!”

“By trusting our lives to a pirate!”

“He was our best bet!”

“But why? Why was he - “

“Because he protects me,” Alex shouts, and sees Theodosia’s eyebrows rise even higher. “Because he’s always protected me! He fucking taught me how to sword fight and fire a gun, so that I could fight back, but I was too much of a coward anyway! So I gave him the gun Bellamy gave me because I knew he would protect me even after all the shit he put me through because - because that’s just how he is!”

“Alex - “

“He gave me fucking motivational speeches and bought me a stupid birthday present and even helped me with my sky sickness one day after we met! He’s so stupid, and he’s a liar and he - and I - “ Alex cuts himself off suddenly, jaw working as he breathes in deep through his nose. “And you heard everything that came out when Jefferson threatened him,” he finishes firmly. “He was going to betray Jefferson and Madison to help us. He just...needed to find his parents first and I...I can’t hate him for that. So I trusted him. And I was right to.”

He can’t help but end it on that note, jutting his chin out defiantly as he stares at Theodosia, and he thinks he can see Eliza hiding a smile behind her hand.

“Well,” Theodosia starts, her own lips quirking up, “that’s all I needed to hear. Hercules, you were here with Mr. Bellamy for quite a time, do you also concur that he is a trustworthy man?”

Herc ducks their head and coughs into their hand before speaking. “Uh, yes. Bellamy is...I mean, he saved me. John, too. And I know he only lied to me for so long to protect Aaron, and considering how long they - and Maria - have been together, I can really blame him for that.”

Theodosia studies Herc for a few seconds, but then she gives a slow nod. 

“Very well. I will take all of this into consideration, and I will be sure to make note of all that you said so that I can give a full account to the authorities when we make port.”

Alex jerks his head up at that. “The authorities?”

“I am required by law to hand over Mr. Burr and his crew and - “

“What?” Herc says loudly, pushing away from the wall with an angry expression on their face that Alex is sure mirrors his own. “You can’t do that! They saved us!”

“They are pirates. And as I said, I will make sure to include how they helped us.”

“But - “ Alex takes a step forward, and then falters when Theodosia fixes him with a stern look. “Theodosia, please, you can’t!” His mind goes back to what Aaron had told him usually happens to pirates when they’re caught, and a chill runs down his spine. “They’ll be hung.”

His words hang in the air, and Alex feels more than sees all eyes go to Theodosia, who is staring hard at him, her lips forming a thin line.

“I’m sorry,” she says softly a few moments later. “But there is no other way. We will need to explain the events of this expedition, and the injuries we have all acquired, and why half of our crew did not return. And all of that includes being infiltrated by pirates. My hands are tied.”

There’s another beat of silence, and then - 

“That’s bullshit,” Herc spits out, surprising them all, and then they’re turning on their heel and walking from the room, the door hanging wide open in their wake.

Alex swallows hard, his stomach churning uncomfortably, and he keeps his eyes on the floor as Theodosia rises from her chair. 

“I think that is enough for now. You should retire, get some rest. Have John check over your injuries.”

Alex feels Eliza’s hand slide into his, tugging him gently towards the door, but then Theodosia calls out his name, and he glances over his shoulder.

“Actually, I need to have a quick word with you, Mr. Hamilton.”

Alex teeters on the decision to tell Theodosia no, to let his anger show clearly, but he bites it back, and instead turns to face her fully.

“What do you want?”

Theodosia purses her lips at his tone, but her eyes move to Eliza. “Miss Schuyler, if you could leave us, please. I promise not to keep him long. And what I said goes for you, as well. Have John look over you, and get some rest.”

“All right,” Eliza says, sounding reluctant to leave, but she gives Alex’s hand a squeeze before letting go and exiting the room, shutting the door softly behind her.

“Did you leave the map on the planet?” Theodosia asks as soon as they’re alone, and Alex snorts, because of course this is what she wanted to talk about. “Alexander, I need to know - “

“All the details,” Alex finishes for her. “Yeah, I get it. And yes, I did leave it behind. Will you throw me in jail for that, too?”

Theodosia sighs, and she raises a hand to rub it across her forehead. When she lowers it, she suddenly looks exhausted.

“I understand that all of this is unfair,” she says quietly. “Believe me, I do. But do you understand my position at all? I’m the Captain, and I let pirates slip onto my ship. The Royal Navy will blame me, as they should. I will most likely not be able to Captain another ship for years to come.”

Sympathy flickers in Alex’s chest, but it doesn’t tamper out the fear he feels at the idea of Aaron, Bellamy, and Maria being locked up and then killed.

“You don’t deserve that,” Alex tells her lowly. “But they don’t deserve to _die_. And we can stop that from happening. And…and if there’s anything I can do to help you, I will. You were - are - a great Captain, Theodosia. We’ll all vouch for you. We wouldn’t have made it through this without you, either.”

Theodosia finally smiles at him, and she shakes her head. “I could say the same to you, Mr. Hamilton. While I know it may have appeared like I did not approve of your actions, there is no denying they are what saved us. You acted admirably. Heroically. And if you ever need a recommendation, I would be happy to give it. Even if my title is taken from me, my name should still hold some weight.”

Alex ducks his head at that, heat warming his cheeks. He doesn’t even know what he would ever need Theodosia’s recommendation for.

“And,” Theodosia continues, “between you and me, your decision to leave the map behind was the correct one. Far too much trouble.”

Alex lets out a laugh. “I figured no one wants another Hanover.”

“Too true.” Theodosia pauses there, and Alex looks up to see her shift on her feet. “Is it really true that the Navy covered up the truth of what happened to Aaron’s parents?”

Alex shrugs. “You would know more about it. You said all you ever knew was that they died in the line of duty. But it would make sense it cover it up, right? I mean, they forced them to join a nefarious pirate’s crew, and then gave them no way out. And refused to admit the mistake. Kind of makes you understand why Aaron did everything he did. Or at least some of it.”

Theodosia hums, an almost angry expression flitting across her face, and Alex decides to take another chance.

“Theodosia,” he says softly, tone imploring. “They’re going to be killed. That’s...how is that right?”

“It’s what has to be done! It’s the law, I - “

“I think we’ve learned that the Royal Navy doesn’t always follow the fucking law,” Alex cuts in, and then he takes a deep breath. “Please, Theodosia. We can let them go. And we can lie about what happened. I’ll lie for you, I’m very good at it. _Please_.”

Theodosia stares at him in silence, her gaze thoughtful. Then she’s moving, turning her back to him, and Alex assumes the conversation is over, but then he sees that she’s opening a safe on one of the wall.

“I have a favor to ask of you, Mr. Hamilton. I find myself quite tired, and I’m sure to sleep soundly through the night. So…” she turns back around, a set of keys in her hands. “I’d like you to check the brig for me. Either tonight or in the morning. As long as it’s before we make port.” She pauses again, her eyes holding a playful light. “Because I think we can both agree that it would be a shame if Mr. Burr and his crew were to somehow escape.”

Alex stares down at the keys resting in Theodosia’s palm, then back up at her, and then back down again.

He extends his own hand, fingers brushing over cool metal, and he takes the keys from her, still staring down at them.

“Now, off you go, Mr. Hamilton.”

Alex nods, not trusting himself to speak, and he goes over to the door. But once he has it open, he pauses.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, not turning around, but he waits a few more moments before nodding to himself and exiting the room.

When he gets down the stairs, he bypasses the kitchen, not wanting to step foot into the space where he spent so much time for Aaron. Instead he goes to the other sleeping quarters, and when he pushes the door open, all of his friends, John and Lafayette included, are huddled inside.

Lafayette is leaning against one of the walls, head tipped back and eyes closed, but Alex can make out the lines of tension on his face and the downward curve of his mouth. 

Alex considers going over to him, talking to him about the loss of his crew, but then Alex’s eyes find Herc, who is laying down on a cot near the door, their back to the rest of their friends.

Alex takes a step towards them, wanting to reassure them that Bellamy will be okay, but then someone shouts out his name.”

“There you are,” John exclaims, and he pats the cot beside him. “You’re next in line for an examination.” Then he turns back to Eliza, who is on his other side. “As I was saying, you’ve got some minor bruising, but other than that, you’re good. Just eat, drink, and rest.”

Alex plops down beside John, groaning a little as he does, and John scoots closer, eyebrows raised.

“You, however...I have a feeling I’m going to have to prescribe you a bit more than just sleep.”

He takes Alex’s chin between his fingers, angling his face up and to the side, clicking his tongue moments later.

“Fuck, your face is swelled. What even happened?”

Alex snorts. “Jefferson beat the shit out of me, that’s what.” He wriggles away from John so that he can tug his shirt over his head, revealing the bruising on his side and stomach from where Jefferson had kicked him, and John swears again.

“Okay, hold on.” John twists to the side and rummages through a bag, bringing out some cloth and several small bottles. “This will help with the swelling,” John murmurs, pouring out the contents of one of the bottles onto a cloth.

He dabs it across Alex’s face, spending more time on the area around his eye, and then he’s pouring more of the ointment onto a fresh cloth, tending to Alex’s stomach and rib cage next.

“And this,” John continues, holding up a new bottle, “will help with the pain.”

“Thank fuck for that,” Alex breathes out, and John gives an understanding laugh as he repeats the treatment a second time.

“Anything else I need to know about?”

Alex looks down at himself, trying to think. “My ankle,” he says, remembering how he had twisted it. “I think I sprained it, if anything. I was running and it rolled. It hurt when it happened, but it doesn’t feel as bad now.”

John moves to sit in front of Alex’s feet, carefully removing his shoe and then taking his ankle in hand and turning it in several different ways, only a few of them making Alex hiss through his teeth.

“I’ll wrap it, just to be sure,” John announces after a couple more minutes. “It isn’t bad, but try not to walk on it too much.”

“Thanks,” Alex murmurs to him, and John grins. “What about you? You’re okay?”

“I’m fine. All I had to deal with was being stuck in the brig for a few hours until Bellamy let me out. Don’t worry. I had it much easier than you.”

Alex rolls his eyes, but he laughs, and his smile only gets wider when he notices John’s gaze drifting off the the side to where Lafayette is sitting.

“Oh, go on. Better check him out, too.”

“Androids are tough. He doesn’t need me for anything.”

Alex finds himself snorting again. “I highly doubt that. I’m sure he wouldn’t refuse a check up by Doctor Laurens.”

“Shut up,” John grumbles, but he’s still grinning, and he’s moving to get up when Alex stops him.

“How…” Alex clears his throat. “How was Aaron? I mean…”

“He’s okay,” John says with a shrug. “As you’d expect, I guess. He lost a lot of blood. I honestly don’t know how he managed to stay conscious as he long as he did. But he’s stable. The wound itself wasn’t horrible. His leg and arm are fucked, and I don’t know how to deal with that, but Gil and Bellamy dealt more with that than I did.”

“Gil?”

John’s face takes on a blush. “Uh...Lafayette. His first name is Gilbert, or, you know, Gil.”

“Cute.”

John flips Alex off, and then he does go over to Lafayette, the Android perking up immediately, and Alex shakes his head in amusement before looking away and throwing his shirt back on. And then he's just staring down at his hands, trying to collect his thoughts.

He’s glad that Theodosia gave him the keys to the brig. He’s glad that he isn’t going to have to figure out some way to break Aaron, Bellamy, and Maria out. He’s glad about all of it.

But he’s suddenly terrified of having to go down and face Aaron.

Now that they’re all out of danger, Alex knows that they’ll have to talk. He knows that he’ll have to think about what he even wants to say, but before any of that can happen, he needs to figure out how he feels.

“Alex?”

He looks to his side to see Eliza taking a seat next to him, their shoulders brushing.

“You okay?” she asks. “You’re very quiet.”

“I’m just...trying to figure things out.”

“Things about Aaron?”

Alex nods, and he chews at his lower lip. “I just...I feel like, when you look at everything that happened, it would be crazy for me to forgive him, right? Most people would think that turning Aaron in is the right thing to do, what he deserves, but....”

“You aren’t most people,” Eliza murmurs, and she knocks her shoulder against his. “Alex, you two are...you have a relationship. Maybe not a conventional one, but it’s still a relationship.”

Alex laughs at that, bringing a hand up to scratch at the back of his head. She isn’t wrong.

“It’s just…” he trails off for a moment. “I am angry at him, and I wish some things had been different, obviously, but I...I think about what I would do if I was in his shoes, if everyone thought my mom was dead but then I hear there’s a chance she’s still alive. I would do anything to find her. And so, even if it’s...it’s wrong, I can’t hate him. I just can’t.”

Eliza’s hand slips into his, and when he peers over at her again, she’s smiling.

“Because you’re a good person,” Eliza tells him. “Right and wrong aren’t as easy as you’re trying to make them. And I don’t think right and wrong can really be applied to this situation, anyway. It’s more complicated than that. And I think, after this whole voyage, the only thing I’m sure about is that you should trust yourself, because you, Alexander Hamilton, make some pretty damn good choices.”

Alex laughs again, but this time, it comes out with a watery sound, and he twists awkwardly to hug Eliza, and she wraps her arms around him in return.

“I love you,” he murmurs.

“Back at ya. And...”

"And what?" he asks, and he feels Eliza sigh against him.

"Aaron took the brunt of Jefferson's anger," she says softly. "I think being shot so many times is enough punishment for a lifetime. And...and if what you said is true, about Aaron building this fake reputation as Silver and never actually hurting people, then...then while he's made mistakes, I still think he's a good person. Or he's at least trying to be."

Alex closes his eyes, but he nods his head. Because Eliza is right. About all of it. Aaron had been so broken down by everything that he was willing to let himself die on the planet. And even though Alex is still hurt, and he's still angry, he has no desire to break Aaron even more. After going through everything they did, Alex doesn't want to see anyone else get hurt for a long time.

He pulls away from Eliza, wiping his sleeve under his nose. And then he pushes himself up.

“I’m going to get some air,” he announces, but he pauses at the end of the room where Herc is still laying.

They roll over to look up at Alex, a questioning glance on their face, and when Alex winks, they break out into a wide smile before turning back over to press their face into the pillow.

Instead of going up the stairs, Alex turns down the hall, the weight of the keys to the brig heavy against his legs where they lie in his pocket.

He steps into the brig slowly, his heart beating just a little too hard in his chest to be comfortable.

Once his eyes adjust to the dim lighting, Alex can make out Maria’s form at one end of the cell, her back to him as she sleeps. On the other end, right near the cell door, Aaron is sitting with his back to the wall, Bellamy’s head resting in his lap as he sleeps.

Alex steps further in, but Aaron doesn’t seem to notice him, so he clears his throat.

Aaron jerks slightly at that, his face turning to find the source of the noise, and when he spots Alex, his eye flickers to gold.

“Your eye,” Alex blurts out, a strange sense of relief filling him. “It’s back to normal!” 

At first, Aaron just blinks at him, but then he laughs. “There was no reason for Bellamy to manipulate my appearance anymore. You should have seen him when I told him he technically could have stopped it earlier, since Thomas figured it all out anyway. He was livid.” He gestures down at Bellamy’s sleeping form. “It takes a lot of energy out of him, to do what he does.”

Alex nods, and then he walks even closer, hesitating a moment before moving to sit on the floor.

“Your ankle,” Aaron comments, eyes drifting down to where the bandage is peeking out from Alex’s pant leg. “Did you break it?”

“Nah. Barely even sprained it.”

“Good.”

Alex hums, and he shifts where he sits, trailing his own eyes over Aaron’s leg. “And...your leg? Is it…”

Aaron just shrugs, looking away from him. “It is what it is. Laurens gave me pain medication. But it doesn’t really matter, anyway.”

“What  - “

“Alexander.” Aaron cuts him off with one word, his voice taking on a desperate tone as he looks at him again, inching just a little closer to the cell door, and Alex can see how bleary his eyes look, probably an effect from the medication. “I know I don’t deserve it, but I need you to do something for me. It’s...it’s not really even for _me_ , but I - “ he cuts off with a grimace, eyes closing momentarily. “I can’t let them get hurt because of me.” 

“Aaron, listen, I - “

“I know it’s crazy of me to ask,” Aaron continues, his eyes finding Alex’s, a panicked light in them. “Everything is my fault, I know that. But I...Bellamy and Maria can’t die because of that. I would never... _please_ , Alexander. I’ll still turn myself in, I’ll stay behind, but please get them out of here, please - “

“What makes you think I want you to stay behind?” Alex interrupts, his voice coming out louder than he means it to, but neither Maria or Bellamy stir. “Why would I want that?”

Aaron just stares at him, seemingly at a loss for words.

Alex takes a calming breath. “I told you already, I don’t want you to die. I’m not...you really think I’m that awful?”

“No,” Aaron tells him quickly, a crease between his brow. “I...it would just...make sense, if that was how you felt.”

“None of this make sense,” Alex mutters, and he picks at the seam of his shirt for a moment. “I don’t want you to die,” he repeats, and he raises his eyes to see Aaron staring back at him, an unreadable expression on his face. 

Not knowing what else to say, Alex reaches into his pocket, and he pulls out the keys Theodosia had given him, staring down at them for a brief moment before holding them out to Aaron through the bars of he cell.

The silence between them stretches on, even as Aaron takes the keys from him with trembling fingers. But then he’s setting the keys down onto the floor, his hand reaching back out through the bars to grasp at Alex’s.

“I’m sorry,” Aaron tells him, breath hitching, and Alex can't help but notice how tired the man looks. “I’m so sorry. For everything. I - “

“You don’t have to - “

“I do. I _do_ , Alexander, because…” Aaron pauses, and he shakes his head, a pained expression on his face. “Because back on the planet, in the treasure room, you thought I was going to let you fall. You thought I was going to let you _die_. And I’m sorry that I made you think that.”

Alex ducks his head, but Aaron keeps hold of his hand, thumb running over the center of Alex’s palm.

“I just knew the treasure was all you had left of your parents,” Alex mumbles after a moment.

“It was,” Aaron agrees. “But I wouldn’t have traded you for it.”

Now Alex’s breath hitches, and his hands twitches in Aaron’s grasp. He forces himself to look back up at Aaron. “I’m sorry for lying to you.”

Aaron laughs, the sound sharp and bitter. “I think I more than deserved it, Alexander. I lied to you for months. Besides…” he trails off with a small smile. “You’re a very bad liar.”

Alex blanches at that. “You _knew_?”

“I had a feeling,” Aaron murmurs. “You have nothing to apologize for. Honestly, it helped a little. Prepared me, I guess, for what we’d find.”

Alex stomach churns as his mind goes back to the bodies that had littered the ground, and he lets out a shaky breath, squeezing Aaron’s hand.

“I’m still sorry.”

Aaron shakes his head again, eyes holding a bemused light. “As I’ve said, you’re too nice for your own good.” Then he looks away, expression shifting suddenly. “I just can’t help but think that...that I’ve become so similar to the two people I hate the most.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Patterson and Hanover,” Aaron explains, words coming easily, and Alex wonders if Aaron would be telling him this if he wasn't so loopy from whatever medicine gave him. “I manipulated you, and my obsession with Treasure Planet could have gotten everyone killed. I’m no better than them. Maybe I never was. I don’t know anymore.”

Alex stares at Aaron, heart thumping, and strangely, he feels anger run through him.

“You’re nothing like them,” he says, and Aaron looks at him with doubt written in every line of his face. “You’re not. Don’t be stupid. And don’t pity yourself so much.”

“Alexander - “

“No. Patterson, he...he took advantage of you, and you were just a kid with...with no one else to turn to. And you would never have killed your own crew for the treasure like Hanover did. You wouldn’t even let people who weren’t on your crew die. You helped us. You saved us. And you...you feel sorry, which I don’t think Patterson or Hanover ever felt, so don’t you dare compare yourself to them.”

“But - “

“I don’t even think of you that way,” Alex continues firmly. “And I’m the one you hurt the most.”

Aaron flinches a little at that, but Alex keeps going.

“I’m not saying I understand everything, or even forgive everything. But I...I think I know that you didn’t want to hurt me, and that you...you were trying to protect me. Even though I know some of...some of what you said to me, that some of our relationship was pretend, I also know that you care about me.”

Aaron’s expression had gone from surprised to pained throughout Alex’s speech, and his fingers tighten where they are curled around Alex’s hand.

“None of it was pretend, Alexander,” he says softly. “Maybe...maybe a little at the beginning, but I…the plan was to just ignore you, to spend as little time as possible with you, with any of you. But I fucked that up pretty quickly because…” Aaron cuts off with a laugh. “Because you were so goddamn stubborn.” 

Alex feels his face grow warm, and Aaron smiles at him.

“You made me question everything. You made me wish I was actually part of Theodosia’s crew. You made me wish I had never chosen to be a pirate. My whole life, everything I was striving for, you made me want it all to disappear. But I...I also still needed to know what happened to my parents. I’m sorry that I hurt you, and your friends, by doing it. But I _needed_ to know. And I don’t regret that.”

Alex laughs a little at Aaron’s words, feeling strangely happy that he said that last part, because that’s the Aaron that he finds so frustratingly admirable. 

“I don’t blame you,” Alex tells him. “And I don't blame you for...for choosing the path you did, becoming a pirate. I’m _glad_ you’re a pirate.”

Aaron startles at that. “Are you?”

And Alex hums, a grin spreading across his face. “I’ve always wanted to kiss a pirate. Now I can check it off my bucket list.”

Aaron laughs, but his expression quickly sobers, taken over by an apologetic one. “I’m sorry about that, too. For...for confusing you so much. I tried to...to not complicate things even more, but - “

“But I was stubborn, yeah.”

“That’s not what I - “

“You don’t need to apologize for kissing me. I don’t regret it, and you can’t make me regret it.” He juts his chin out, and then laughs. “Hell, I’d let you kiss me now.”

The words are out of Alex’s mouth before he can really think about them, and Aaron’s mouth parts in surprise, his eyes flicking down to Alex’s lips before looking away just as quickly.

Silence opens up between them again, and Aaron moves as if he’s going to pull his hand away, but Alex just reaches out with his other hand, holding on tight.

He flips Aaron’s hand, trails his own fingers over his palm, and then he swallows.

“I was talking to Eliza about you,” he starts, “and...and about what’s right and what’s wrong, and she told me the only thing that matters is me trusting myself, my own feelings. And I do. So I just...I need you to trust me, too. I think I deserve that.”

That makes Aaron laugh, and when Alex glances back up, the man is smiling fondly at him.

“Alexander, I’ve always trusted you. That was the whole problem.”

Alex flushes again, but he maintains eye contact with Aaron. “Well, good. Then trust me when I tell you that you don’t need to apologize for something.”

“Tell me what I do need to apologize for.”

Alex falters for a moment, the request taking him by surprise, but then it's as if a gate opens inside of him, and the words come flooding out.

“For not talking to me. For not explaining everything when you had the chance. If Bellamy hadn’t talked to me, I might not have...it would have been harder to trust you. Especially if Thomas hadn’t figured things out. I think I really would have thought you’d kill us all. Part of me really doesn’t even care that you lied to me, because I know I would have reacted badly to you telling me you were Silver at any point in the voyage. But you should have explained the whole story once I _did_ find out. You put us all in danger because you were - ”

“A coward,” Aaron finishes softly. “I know. And I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Aaron’s jaw works as he swallows, and he sighs heavily through his nose. “Part of me was scared that you wouldn’t believe me. Because why would you have any reason to? And the other part of me...well, I didn’t think that I deserved to try and get any pity from you. It felt wrong.”

Alex wants to be angry at that reasoning, but he pushes that feeling back, and nods instead, frowning a little as he tries to take all of this in. Everything got so messed up between them. Alex knew that he had every right to be upset with Aaron, that he still does, but if he had just let Aaron talk sometimes, then maybe things could have been different. But then again, Aaron never seemed willing to talk, so how could Alex have ever convinced him?

Maybe there really was just nothing he could have done. Maybe things were just destined to turn out this way. Alex supposes he should feel lucky that they made it out alive, that even though Aaron is sitting battered and bruised behind a cell door, at least he's alive. And at least Alex can help him escape. At least they both made it. But Alex can't help but be angry that they have to go their separate ways.

Aaron tugs at his hand, drawing Alex's focus back up, and he sees that Aaron is looking at him with concern on his face.

“When did you get so serious?” he asks in a soft voice, eyes trailing over Alex’s face, and Alex just stares back, not sure how to answer the question. But then Aaron is blinking, and he straightens. “I have something for you,” he says, and he pulls his hand away, shifting slightly to grab at something under the cot beside him.

Then he’s holding out a small pouch, which he places in Alex’s hand.

“For your Inn,” he says as Alex opens it, staring down at the gold coins and jewels inside. 

“You...this is…”

“I managed to grab a bit from the planet,” Aaron continues. “Maria, too. And I…well, it’s far less than I owe you, but I figured it’s a start. I never meant for your Inn to burn down. I’m sorry for that, too.”

Alex takes a moment to let all of this sink in, his throat tight. “Is this...am I allowed to have this? Shouldn’t I give it to Theodosia or something?”

Aaron’s lips quirk up. “That might be the right thing to do. But, in my opinion as a pirate, sometimes it’s okay to break the rules.”

Alex laughs, and when the sound comes out watery, he clears his throat, embarrassed that his vision has become a little blurry, tears burning at the corners of his eyes.

“Thank you,” he says, and he clears his throat again. “I should go. You probably need some sleep before you head out.”

Aaron watches him stand with something like disappointment on his face.

“Will you say goodbye?” Aaron asks, and Alex pauses, surprise flitting through him for a moment.

“I...yes, if you want me to.”

Aaron snorts at him. “After all of this, you still doubt that I’m going to miss you?”

The bluntness of the statement makes Alex blink, and for a couple of seconds, Alex can’t speak. But then his face floods with warmth, and he bows his head, but not before Aaron catches sight of his blush, chuckling softly.

“Maybe this isn’t the time to bring this up,” Aaron starts, smile crooked, “but I’m still glad that I can make you blush.”

“Shut up,” Alex mutters, but Aaron just laughs again. “I’ll be there to see you off. I can meet you at the escape boats at dawn.”

Aaron nods, looking as if he wants to say something else, but then he closes his mouth, and nods again.

So Alex nods in return, and then turns to leave, feeling lighter than he has in days as he heads to try and get some sleep of his own.

-

Alex ends up heading to the escape boats well before the sun breaks the horizon, nerves and excitement keeping him from sleeping for long.

But he doesn’t wait alone for long, a familiar clunking sound echoing down the hallway, and when Alex looks up, he sees Aaron round the corner, a bag slung over his shoulder and a crutch beneath one of his arms, aiding him as his metal leg drags slightly along the ground.

“Hey,” Alex says after a beat. “Uhm, where’s Maria and Bellamy?”

“Bellamy wanted to say goodbye to Herc. And I sent Maria after him to make sure that the goodbye doesn’t last hours.”

Alex laughs at that, and then there’s silence hanging between them, and he raises a hand to rub at the back of his neck. He clears his throat a few seconds later.

“I...do you want to get the escape boat ready?”

Aaron stares at him, his gaze heavy, but then he nods.

So Alex walks into the room first, Aaron limping in after, and then they both stare at the escape boats in front of them.  Alex tries to breathe in deep, but the inhale gets stuck in his throat, and he has to clear it again.

The silence between them suddenly feels suffocating, and Alex doesn’t know how to get rid of, doesn’t know what to say that could possibly dissipate the tension coming from the fact that Aaron is about to get on one of the escape boats and leave.

And Aaron seems just as reluctant to speak. And Alex almost wants to laugh at the change in the man now that his pain medication has probably worn off. He looks more tense, more wary, and his shoulders are hunched, as if he's trying to make himself smaller in Alex's presence.

“I have something for you,” Aaron says suddenly, and he pulls the bag off his shoulder, rummaging inside of it and then pulling something out. “Well, technically it’s already yours.”

And Alex - shock filling him - stares down at the book in Aaron’s hand. “How - “

“I took it from your room,” Aaron says, a slightly bashful expression crossing his face. “I...you know, from when I broke in.” He holds the book out further. “I...I know that it probably doesn’t hold the same nostalgia, now that you’ve actually been to Treasure Planet and...and went through what you did, but I thought you would want it back.”

Alex slowly reaches out for the book, running his fingers over the cover before flipping it open, the hologram flickering to life.

_ “On the clearest of nights, when the winds of the Etherium were calm and peaceful…” _

Alex shuts it before the voice can continue, and he swallows hard. “Why did you take it?”

“I…”

“I’m not...I don’t mean it as in 'Why the hell would you do that' - I’m not angry - but more as like...why even bother to grab it?”

Aaron’s lips twitch up into a smile. “Because you were about to go back into a burning house with a bunch of pirates right behind the door just to retrieve a book. I was...intrigued.” He laughs. “And then when I found out it was a book about the story that has tormented me for years, well, I was even more intrigued.”

“By me?”

Aaron hums, and he takes a step closer. “Even before I met you, I knew you were going to be trouble.”

Alex’s face floods with heat, and he ducks his head down to fix his eyes on the book, feeling weirdly shaky and not wanting to meet Aaron’s gaze. But the man just steps closer, and Alex exhales slowly.

He lifts his eyes again, and Aaron is staring down at him, and the warmth in Alex’s face starts to spread.

“I…” Alex pauses, runs his tongue over his lower lip. “What I said earlier about...about how I wouldn’t mind...that I would let you…” He stops again, the words difficult to get out. He takes a deep breath, straightens his posture. “I want you to kiss me.”

Alex expects Aaron to protest, or to at least hesitate, but the man, maybe feeling the same strange sort of sad desperation that Alex is, leans in immediately.

The press of their mouths together is gentle, the kiss slow, as if they have all the time in the world and aren’t trying to prolong the inevitable goodbye that is coming faster and faster. 

One of Aaron’s hands comes up to rest against Alex’s jaw, the kiss deepening as he moves, and Alex grips the book in his hold tighter, breath stuttering in his chest.  Then Aaron is pulling away, and Alex’s eyes flutter open just in time to see Aaron smile.

“You were worth all the trouble,” he murmurs, and Alex laughs, watching as Aaron takes a step back. “Help me into the boat?”

Alex nods, stepping over to the lever that will open the floor, and they both watch as the the boat begins to lower, the ropes tethered to it keeping it balanced as it stops in the new opening, just inches below the rest of the floor.

Alex sets the book down and then helps Aaron to step in, and then he spreads his arms, grabbing at two of the ropes coming from the ceiling that are attached to the boat, and he sways forward slightly, and then back, as he watches Aaron set his bag and crutch down.

And then they’re just staring at each other again, and Alex almost wishes that they could just skip past this part, that there was an easier way for this to happen.

“I’ll miss you,” Alex blurts out when the silence continues, and Aaron smiles. But then his expression falters, and his eyes take on an almost desperate light.

“You could...” he trails off, looking embarrassed, but then he opens his mouth again. "You could come with me."

“Go with you…” Alex smiles at the idea. He can see it, him and Aaron exploring the galaxy together, flying through the stars. It’s a nice image, a nice fantasy. “I can’t,” Alex voices out loud, his chest tightening at the flash of disappointment that flickers across Aaron’s face. “You know I can’t, Aaron. I have to go home. My mom...”

Aaron nods when Alex trails off, a small smile attempting to rise on his lips, but Alex can see how much effort it’s taking him to do even that. “What will you do? When you’re home?”

Alex pauses, thinking, but then he grins down at Aaron, leaning closer with his hands still on the ropes. “Chart my own course,” he murmurs, laughing when Aaron smiles for real at the words. “That sounded like pretty good advice,” he continues, “even from a pirate. So I think I’ll do just that.”

“You’ll do great,” Aaron says, his eyes warm. “You’ll be great. I know you will.” He reaches up, cupping Alex’s face and staring at him with a firm gaze. “I always knew,” he whispers, and then he’s pulling Alex down, capturing his lips in another kiss.

It surprises Alex, but he leans into it, already growing dizzy from the passion behind it. Aaron’s lips are moving determinedly against his own, stealing every gasp from his lips and moaning in return. His hands are gentle against Alex’s skin, but strong, keeping him in place as the kiss grows more heated.

A sudden gust of wind hits them, causing Alex’s hair to ruffle and whip around his face, but he barely even notices. All he can focus on is Aaron’s lips, and he gasps when a tongue suddenly swipes over his lip. And then kiss is even more desperate, tongues sliding against each other and teeth nipping at lips. Alex’s knees almost buckle at how hard Aaron is kissing him.

“Aaron,” Alex barely manages to gasp out, moaning when Aaron sucks his lower lip into his mouth. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to get you to change your mind,” Aaron breathes against his lips, kissing him again and again, mouths open and wet against each other. “Come with me,” Aaron commands.

“I can’t,” Alex says again, his voice cracking a little. But he lets Aaron kiss him more, their tongues curling around each other. “I can’t,” he repeats, feeling his heart twist. “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. Aaron.” Alex kisses him with as much force as he can, trying to let him know how hard this is, how much he wishes he could say yes.

Aaron slides a hand to the back of his neck, pulling him down further and pressing their mouths even closer together. Alex is starting to worry that he’ll just melt right into Aaron when suddenly the kiss shifts, becoming sweet and slow, and Alex knows their goodbye is close.

“I’ll see you again,” Alex promises as he presses their foreheads together, not ready to look at Aaron yet. “This isn’t…we’ll meet again, right?”

“I hope so,” Aaron whispers back, and Alex can hear the raw emotion in his voice, but there's also doubt there, like Aaron doesn't believe that they will, and that almost makes Alex sway forward for another kiss, almost makes him want to step into the boat with Aaron. But then Aaron's hands are slipping off of Alex, releasing him. 

They both pull away from each other slowly. They stare for long moments, neither one of them wanting to be the one to leave first, or to start the goodbye they both know needs to happen.

“Where will you go?” Alex asks, prolonging the moment just a bit longer. “What will you do?”

Aaron sighs and looks behind him and down to the open sky. Then he looks back, a smile on his face as he shrugs. “Find a new dream to chase, I guess.”

“I hope you get it,” Alex tells him earnestly. “Whatever it is…I hope you catch it this time.”

“Thank you,” Aaron murmurs with an inclination of his head. He looks at Alex a beat longer, maybe waiting for something, but then he steps forward, his hand reaching for one of the knots where the boat is tied to the ship. He starts to untie it, and Alex feels a lump form in his throat.

“Go open the door,” Aaron says next. “I’m sure Bellamy and Maria are waiting.”

Alex turns, glad for the brief moment of privacy to school his face into an even expression, and he goes over to the door.

Sure enough, Maria and Bellamy are on the other side, and they grin when they see Alex.

“Goodbyes have been said, then?” Bellamy asks. “Took more time than I thought you would.” He winks, and then Maria is swooping in, pressing a kiss to Alex’s cheek.

“You did good, by the way,” she tells him. “With Jefferson. With everything.  Don’t underestimate yourself anymore, okay?” She punches him gently on the shoulder, and then she’s stepping around him, joining Aaron on the boat.

Bellamy steps up to Alex next, and he throws his arms around him. “Thanks for bringing Aaron back,” he whispers in Alex’s ear. “I promise to take care of him.”

Alex brings his arms up to return the hug, his stomach coiling. “Is he going to be okay?”

Alex thinks he feels Bellamy tense, and he has the sudden desire to get on the boat with all of them, to throw caution to the wind, but then Bellamy is sighing, pulling away from the hug and staring at Alex with a smile.

“He will be,” he says softly. “I’m good at getting him back on his feet.”

The words don’t completely quell the unease in Alex’s stomach, but he nods, and he follows Bellamy over to the boat, watching as he steps in, too, and then all three of them are staring at Alex, Aaron’s gaze focused so intently on him that Alex feels himself blush again, that warmth spreading uncomfortably into his mouth, making his throat burn.

To try and distract himself, Alex kneels down by one of the knots still connecting the boat to the ceiling. But his hands are shaking, and tears are starting to blur his vision, making it almost impossible for him to untie it. 

Then there is a hand sliding over his, stopping him, and Alex looks up to see Aaron there, giving him an understanding smile. He squeezes Alex’s hand gently, the pressure brief but warm, and then he’s letting go, untying the knot himself with swift movements. 

It doesn’t take long for all the knots to be undone, and then Bellamy is pressing a button, the sail of the ship popping up, electric currents running through it.

“Ready whenever you are,” he says, directing the words at Aaron, who is still staring at Alex.

And Alex, unable to stop himself, lurches forward to grab Aaron’s face, bringing their mouths together in another kiss.

Aaron pulls away first, eye flashing gold, and he runs his thumb across Alex’s cheek, and then his lips, and then he’s pulling further away, his hands dropping to his sides.

“Bye, Alexander.”

Alex swallows, tries to force a smile onto his face, but he knows he fails. There are so many words on the tip of his tongue, so much that he wants to say, but only two words end up coming out, no matter how hard he tries. 

“Bye, Aaron.”

And then, before Alex can try to say more, the boat begins to lower, dipping further below the floor where Alex stands, frozen to the spot.

He gets one last glimpse of Aaron, the man still peering up at him, but then the boat is slipping out of sight, and Alex is left to stare at nothing but the open sky beneath him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated, and comments fuel my motivation. Leave them here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies! :D


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, y'all
> 
> Enjoy! x

Alex takes his time returning above deck, caught between a feeling of wanting to smile and wanting to cry, and it leaves him off-balance and unsteady on his own feet.  He thinks back to his first night on the ship, remembering how unsteady he had felt then, how sick, and he can’t stop himself from also remembering how nice Aaron had been to him even then.

He wanders for a while, trying to get his mind back on track, but his thoughts keep going to saying goodbye to Aaron, to watching him leave, and Alex can’t help but wonder if that’s really it, if they’ll never see each other again. And what will Aaron do? Where will he go? Will he be safe? What if something happens to him?  The thought almost makes him feel queasy, a strange sensation filling his stomach and spreading outward.

But Alex knows he made the right choice to stay behind. A huge part of him had been tempted to step onto that boat and go with Aaron, but he owes it to his friends, to his mom, to _himself_ , to stay and sort everything out. 

Besides, he’s more than a little homesick.

Once he finally goes above deck, everyone is already there, staring out at the horizon.

“Ah, Mr. Hamilton,” Theodosia says when he approaches. She gives him a long look, her gaze searching, and then she continues, tone brisk. “What is the update on the prisoners?”

Alex’s mouth twitches. “They seem to have left some time in the night. One of the escape boats is gone.”

Herc and Eliza both smile behind Theodosia’s back, while Lafayette simply looks confused, and John rolls his eyes.

Theodosia just hums. “How unfortunate. I will report the escape to the Royal Navy once we land, along with the rest of the report from our voyage.”

That makes Alex pause. It hadn’t occurred to him to think about what Theodosia would have to say, what she would have to report, and his mind starts to cycle through the possibilties. “What exactly are you going to tell them?”

“The truth. Why do you ask?”

Alex shifts on his feet, worrying at his lower lip as he considers his next words carefully. “I just...well, I was wondering if it’s necessary to reveal...all of the truth?”

Theodosia raises her eyebrows. “You’re proposing that I should lie?”

“You’ll already be lying,” Alex points out, and when Theodosia’s eyebrows rise even higher, Alex hurries on. “You will! About Aaron, Bellamy, and Maria ‘escaping’ and about me purposefully leaving the map behind. So what do a few more lies matter?”

“And what more should I lie about, Mr. Hamilton?”

Alex’s mouth opens before he can really think through what he wants to say. “I don't want you to tell them that Aaron was Silver.”

The silence that follows his words forces Alex to really take in what he had just said, because he hadn't exactly been _planning_ on saying that. So why did he? But Alex already knows the answer. Even now, he’s still trying to protect Aaron.

He shifts on his feet again, discomfort filling him, and he swallows as he waits for Theodosia to respond.

She sighs. “Alexander, I’m not sure how I could get away with not telling them that, I - “

“You could get away with it easily,” Alex interrupts. “You could get away with it because - “ Alex cuts off, a thought occurring to him, a thought that doesn’t make sense. “Wait, Bellamy and Aaron both said that Aaron was banned from ever being on a naval ship. How did he even get onto this voyage? I mean, how was that cleared?”

“Because I was the one who hired the crew,” Eliza says from behind Theodosia. “This technically wasn't a full Naval expedition. Only Theodosia and Washington needed to be cleared. As for Aaron and his crew, the Schuyler name holds enough power that I’m sure the Royal Navy didn’t put too much thought into who I was hiring. And since they weren’t members of the Royal Navy, the screening process wouldn’t have been the same. I just had to clear them.”

“And I’m sure that Mr. Bellamy used some of his tricks,” Theodosia continues. “In fact, I’m sure the Royal Navy has no idea that a Mr. Aaron Burr was even on this ship.”

“So we can use that,” Alex says, his tone pleading. “When they find out he was on board, I doubt they’ll even want to release that news, since they’re keeping everything about his parents a secret. Please, Theodosia. Just...just say that Jefferson, Madison, and Lee were the pirates. And that Aaron, Bellamy, and Maria got caught in the crossfire of it all. Actually,” Alex starts, more ideas coming to him. “Say that Jefferson was Silver. Say that he was Silver, and that Aaron, Maria, and Bellamy got killed.”

Theodosia blinks at him, clearly taken aback by the request. “And why would I do that?”

“Because it would make sense,” Alex explains, a sense of desperation rising in him. “If Jefferson is Silver, then of course he would sneak onto this ship to get to Treasure Planet. And it would convince the Navy how powerful he was, and it would make sense how many people we lost on the voyage, if we’re going with the route of Aaron, Bellamy, and Maria being dead.”

“Alexander, I - “

“It will let them start over,” Alex says, getting to the point he was most embarrassed to get to, because he knows how it will make him look. “Bellamy, Maria, and Aaron. It’ll give them a chance. If everyone thinks Silver is dead, then they can start over."  He can feel everyone staring at him, so he rushes to his next point, a point that doesn't make him feel embarrassed, just slightly ashamed. "And if everyone thinks Silver is dead, then, well…”

“It’ll eliminate another threat,” Theodosia says, finishing Alex’s train of thought. “Mr. Burr won’t be able to claim he is Silver anymore.” 

Alex ducks his head, a slight feeling of guilt filling him, and he's glad that Theodosia was the one to say it out loud, not him. “I mean, I’m sure he’d find a way, if he wanted to, but…”

“But you’re hoping he won’t.”

Alex fidgets, and he moves his gaze back up to stare at Theodosia. “Yeah, that’s part of the reason. But mostly my plan just protects everyone. No one will go chasing after Aaron, you won’t be accused of letting pirates escape the brig, and…” Alex takes a deep breath. “And Aaron’s parents won’t have their legacy ruined by the news reporting their son is a pirate.”

There’s another long silence, and, after a while, Theodosia’s expression shifts to show a smile, and she starts to shake her head slowly.

“You never cease to surprise me,” she murmurs. “And Mr. Burr was very lucky to have met you, Mr. Hamilton. While my opinion might not matter in this, I think you are giving him more than he deserves.”

Alex juts his chin out. “Well, that’s my choice.”

Theodosia stares at him, her expression giving nothing away, but then she sighs.“Here is what the story will be, so everyone listen closely. The only pirates aboard the ship were Madison, Jefferson, and Lee. They did not attack until we were on the planet. We will say that John, Hercules, and Miss Schuyler remained on the ship, since you are all the least injured.”

“It would make most sense if we say that they didn’t attack until we were right where the treasure was,” Alex interjects. “We’ll keep the story that I was the only one who could read the map.”

“And we will relay the information of the two dead crews found upon the planet,” Theodosia continues. “And of course how we came across Lafayette, although we will have to say that we stumbled upon him, instead of the other way around. And once the treasure room was discovered, that’s when Jefferson and his crew attacked. He revealed he was Silver, and we will say that Madison was a Morph. The rest of the story should be easy, and almost close to the truth. Just tweak it so there was an all out fight between everyone, where lives were unfortunately lost.”

Alex nods. “And what about Jefferson and Madison going through the portal? Do we explain that?”

“We’ll have to. I’ll need to tell the Navy about the map, and reveal how Hanover and his crew eluded their grasp for so long. Perhaps we can say that, at some point in the fight, we gained the upper hand, but Jefferson had Aaron in his grasp, and Aaron negotiated the three of them leaving through the portal so that no one else had to get hurt.”

“So we say Jefferson wouldn’t let Aaron go, to ensure that we didn’t attack him and Madison as they left,” Alex says with a slow nod. “Works for me. And the rest is accurate. We can tell them about the booby trap and the planet exploding. Wouldn’t exactly be able to leave that part out, since we came back with no treasure.”

“Do we really need to do all this lying?” John asks, and Alex snorts.

“You’ve never been opposed to lying before. Why all the concern now?”

John glares at him. “It’s just a lot of lies to tell, that’s all I’m saying.”

“It is not that complicated, Mr. Laurens,” Theodosia says calmly. “And besides, since you stayed behind on the ship, you will not need to tell that many lies, beyond not being thrown in the brig or participating in the fight aboard the ship before we landed. Are you capable of doing that?”

John, still looking unhappy, probably because this is all protecting Aaron, nods his head.

“And Lafayette,” Theodosia continues, “are you able to lie about our first meeting? And leaving out the bits where you and Mr. Hamilton went back to the ship, and put a slight spin on the final fight between us and Mr. Jefferson?”

Lafayette nods as well. “To be honest, that might be the easier story to tell. And the added detail of my losing my memory chip should mean that they may not take any of what I say too seriously, anyway.”

“The more I think about it,” Theodosia starts, “the more I think that the Royal Navy will not want to share any of this information with the public. It was quite a disastrous voyage, all things considered.”

Alex laughs at that, and when everyone turns to glance at him, he just shrugs. “I mean, it really was, wasn’t it?”

John gives him an exasperated look, but Eliza smiles at him, and Lafayette actually grins.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he says. “Honestly this has turned out much better for me. More than I had hoped for. It is nice to have friends again.”

Even Theodosia’s face softens at that, and then she’s turning to Alex, a small smile on her face as she starts to walk across the deck.  “It's decided then. We are almost back at the Crescentia port. About another hour or so. Would you like to learn how to fly a real ship, Mr. Hamilton?”

Alex grins, and practically races after Theodosia.

-

Once the ship lands and is docked, it actually starts to sink in that they’re back, that they’re _home_.

Alex is practically vibrating with excitement when they get off, just nodding repeatedly as Theodosia explains that she has to report to her commanders immediately, but will stop by once she is done. Luckily Eliza still has her wits about her, and she gives Theodosia directions to the house.

Then they are all making their way to the Schuyler’s residence, and after a lengthy carriage ride, the house is in view, and Alex feels himself walking a little faster towards it, almost breaking out into a run.

He knocks on the door as soon as he reaches it, and he listens as a familiar voice calls out ‘no, no, I’ll get it,’ and then the door is opening, and Alex finds himself staring right at his mom.

She's frozen for a moment, but then her mouth opens, a hand going to her chest to lie over her heart, and Alex watches as her eyes move across his face, expression going from shocked bewilderment to concern, and that’s when Alex realizes he’d forgotten the injuries on him.

“I’m okay,” he tells her quickly. “I’m okay, I - “

His mom surges forward, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close, and Alex goes willingly, his eyes closing as he hugs his mom back just as tightly, throat and eyes burning.  After a few moments, she pulls away, her hands going to his face, fingers fluttering over the bruises there before cupping his cheeks.

“You almost gave me a heart attack, just showing up like this.”

Alex lets out a laugh, and he brings up his hands to cover his mom’s. “I didn’t have time to stop and write a letter to give you a heads up.”

She pulls him into another brief hug, and when she moves back, her eyes are watery, but there’s a smile spreading across her face.

Her gaze moves behind him, taking in the sight of the rest of her friends, and Alex watches as a slight furrow appears between her brows, and he’s sure her eyes must have landed on the unfamiliar face of Lafayette. Then her gaze turns stern.

“You two,” she says, and Alex twists slightly to see that John and Herc are both looking guilty. “You gave your families such a scare, just disappearing like that.”

They both mumble out apologies, and Alex turns back to see his mom looking unimpressed. But then she just smiles wider, and she lets her hands drop from where they were resting on Alex’s shoulders.

“Well, come in, come in!” She steps back and gestures into the house. “You all must be tired, and I fully expect to hear the story as to why you all look the way you do.”

Alex steps in first, and his mom stops him for a moment, worry flitting across her face again, and then she's slipping her hand into his before leading them all further into the house.

The warm pressure of his mom’s hand on his is comforting, and Alex suddenly feels exhausted, fatigue seeping into his bones, and he’s grateful for his mom’s steadying touch. 

She takes them into the kitchen, gets them all seated, and disappears for a moment. Then there’s the sound of more voices, more footsteps, and when the door opens, Angelica and Peggy burst through, and Eliza leaps up from her seat, embracing both of her sisters.

They’re all speaking at the same time, words running over each other, but then all three of them are laughing, hugging each other more tightly before pulling away.

“I can’t believe you didn’t let us know you were heading back! And aren’t you early? I thought the voyage was supposed to be months longer?”

Eliza’s smile falters, and her eyes flick over to Alex. “Well, that’s quite a story to explain.”

“Yeah,” John chimes in from the side, “should we start with the magical portal, or the pirates?”

“Pirates?” Alex’s mom asks, and she turns her eyes to Alex. “Is that how you got hurt? You had a run in with pirates?”

“More than a run in,” Herc says, and Alex’s mom’s expression turns even more concerned.

“But I’m fine,” Alex emphasizes. “We’re all fine. We…” he trails off with a groan, running a hand over his face. “You should all sit down, because this really is a long fucking story.”

Angelica and Peggy glance at each other, but then they move to sit, and, after a beat, Alex’s mom does the same, taking the seat beside him, looking apprehensive.

And so Alex starts at the beginning, the very beginning, because he doesn’t know how else to tell the story.

He tells them about getting in trouble, about Aaron being assigned to look out for him, about how Aaron _did_ look out for him, even when Alex messed up over and over again. And the more he talks about Aaron, the more he can feel his mom staring at him, and he just _knows_ that she knows. But he pushes on.

He tells them about being boarded by pirates and then being taught to fight, and then how amazing Eliza was at figuring out how to escape the exploding star.

Peggy’s face is full of awe at that part, and Angelica’s eyes are proud.

“Everyone was amazing during that day,” Eliza cuts in, a flush on her face. “It wasn’t just me.”

“But only you knew how to get us out of there,” Alex says with a smile, and then he continues.

Even though he really doesn’t want to, he talks about Washington not making it, about how guilty he’d felt, and about how Aaron had comforted him afterwards, and he feels his stomach clench at the memory.

When he gets to the part where he figured out Aaron was Silver, his mom’s hand reaches for his, and she squeezes.

“But it’s…” Alex fumbles over his words, almost angry at himself for how stressed he feels over needing to explain everything clearly. “It’s not what you think. I mean, he was - is - Silver, but - “ He stops there, frustrated with how tight his throat grows, but then Eliza is speaking up, taking over the story for him.

She tells them about the fight that ensued, and about how her, Alex, and Theodosia made it to the planet and found Lafayette, only to be found by Jefferson and Madison anyway.

And Alex has to interject there, to explain his meeting with Aaron before going to talk to Bellamy, and when he explains Aaron’s backstory for the second time, he finds that sympathy is the primary feeling filling him, and he thinks he sees the same emotion filling his mom’s eyes.

“He thought his parents would be there,” Alex says. “That’s why he was so obsessed with Treasure Planet. But they...they had died. Killed, most likely. By Hanover.”

“Killed?” his mom asks, and Alex nods.

“We found bodies. And...and the bodies of Lafayette’s crew, too. We came to the conclusion that Hanover’s obsession with keeping the treasure to himself caused him to kill his crew, and then he just holed himself up with the treasure until he died, too.”

“But...the man with the map, the man who crashed here, how - “

Alex shrugs. “My guess is that Seabury either escaped with the map during the massacre, or Hanover let him go.”

“But how did you all get away from the pirates?” Angelica asks, and Alex takes a deep breath.

“Like I said, Bellamy had given me a gun, and he’d hidden it with his powers. I slipped it to Aaron at a certain point, and when we finally found the treasure, Aaron pulled out the gun and threatened to kill Madison.”

“And that’s where the portal comes in,” Eliza adds. “The map, when placed in this sort of  mechanism on the forest floor, it opened a portal. And all you had to do was press a place on the map, and the portal would open to show that place.”

“So we came to an agreement to let Madison and Jefferson leave through the portal,” Alex continues. “And that was that.”

“So you got the treasure?” Peggy asks.

“Well...not exactly. There was a booby trap. The whole planet exploded.”

Peggy’s jaw drops, and Alex’s mom’s face grows pale, but Alex just waves a hand.

“We were all fine,” he tells them. “I mean, I almost fell into a pit of lava, but Aaron caught me. And then we all got back onto the ship and went through the portal. That’s how we got back so fast.”

“Well shit,” Peggy says, and a couple of them laugh, and Alex can only nod tiredly.

“What happened to Aaron and his friends?” Alex’s mom asks softly after a moment, and Alex wants to laugh and cry at the concern on her face, because _of course_ she would be the one to ask that question.

“They, uh, escaped,” Alex says, smiling a little at the way his mom’s eyebrows rise. “They might have had a little help on that front, but….they’re gone.”

His mom nods, but then she continues to stare at him, her lips pursed slightly, and Alex looks away first, knowing that his mom knows. Because she always knows. She can read him like a book. But she doesn’t say anything, to which Alex is grateful for. He doesn’t want to discuss Aaron in front of everyone anymore. At least not for a while.

“I can’t believe you hired pirates,” Angelica comments suddenly, shaking her head at Eliza. “How did you not know?”

“They were very good at hiding it,” Eliza counters back, face going red. “And Bellamy’s powers helped them. How was I supposed to know?”

“Jefferson was pretty sketchy,” John says, yelping when Eliza hits him on the arm. “C’mon! The guy looked like he wanted to kill everyone on board all the time!”

“Only cause you were always so annoying!”

“I was not! I - “

“Alex?”

Alex jumps slightly, not having realized he hadn’t been paying attention, and he blinks a few times to focus on his mom staring at him with a small smile.

“You’re tired,” she murmurs. “You all must be tired,” she says louder. “You all need rest. And you two - “ she points at Herc and John “ - need to go home and explain all of this to your families. Off you go. You can come back tomorrow.”

John and Herc head off without argument, and then Alex’s mom is herding them all upstairs to the guest rooms, instructing them all to shower and then go to bed with the promise of making them food once they’re all awake and rested.

The hot water of the shower feels so, so good on Alex’s skin, and by the time he steps out, his skin is red from the heat, and he gives a shake of his head, smiling as the drops of water fly off.  He had forgotten how good a hot shower could be.

He changes into sweatpants and a clean shirt, and it’s only once he is folding his dirty jacket that he remembers the gold Aaron had given him.

He pulls the pouch out, holding it in both hands, and a strange sense of loss, of loneliness, washes over him.

Alex glances around his room, not used to the wide space of it, the emptiness. He only hesitates for a few seconds before setting the gold down and leaving the room and going down the hall, knocking on the door to his mom’s room as he pushes it open.

She’s lying down as well, but she looks up when Alex enters.

“Could I…” Alex trails off, feeling embarrassed to ask, but his mom just shifts on the bed and folds down the covers on the empty side, and Alex smiles.

He crawls onto the mattress beside his mom and tugs the blanket up to his shoulders.

His mom reaches out, brushing hair off of his forehead, and her mouth pulls down into a frown.

“You’re sad.”

It’s a statement, not a question, and Alex just sighs, knowing there’s no point in denying it.

“He asked me to go with him,” Alex murmurs. “Aaron did. Right before they left.”

His mom hums. “I would have hunted you down.”

That makes him laugh, and he reaches for her hand, squeezing. “I never would have left you. I wanted to come home. I’m _glad_ I’m home. But I...just for a second, I wanted to say yes. I wanted to go.” He swallows hard. “And I don’t understand why.”

“You care about him.”

Again, it isn’t a question.

“But I don’t understand _why_.” Why does he care so much? Why does he still want Aaron to be here? Why does he feel so lost now that he's gone?

“Don’t you?” Now his mom squeezes his hand. “I think it’s because, from the very beginning, he saw you. He saw you for the man that you are, Alex.”

He snorts. “Stubborn and reckless and stupid?”

“Determined and brilliant,” his mom corrects, and Alex feels his face heat. “And smart, and caring, and so, so brave.” She moves her hand to cup his face. “And I think Aaron knew all of that right away. And even though he tried to hide it, you still felt it. You felt that he wouldn't give up on you, even when you messed up. And from what you told me, it also sounds like, at times, he didn’t hide what he thought, and he told you just how amazing you are.”

Alex shifts on the bed, hiding his face in the pillow, feeling exposed and vulnerable, but his mom keeps going.

“And you haven’t had many people tell you that,” she says, her voice cracking. “And I have to take responsibility for - “

“No.” Alex shifts again, stares at his mom. “Mom, no. _I_ have to take responsibility. I was...I was a lot to handle. I put myself in stupid situations. You did everything right. Please don’t apologize.”

She purses her lips. “Who do you think you get all that stubbornness from? Because I will apologize. I’m sorry for not finding a way to help you, for not reaching out more, for not telling you your worth. There were times where I felt like there was nothing I could do, and I felt like giving up. And should have never given up on you.”

“Mom.” Now Alex’s voice is the one cracking. “You _did_ do all of those things, you did help me. And on top of that, you were keeping us afloat. You...you were working to give me a home and a life. I was just stupid and didn't appreciate it. I don’t blame you for anything. And I promise that I won’t leave everything to you anymore."

His mom smiles at him, and she pinches his cheek. “You grew up so much on that trip.”

Alex laughs and slaps her hand away, and his mom laughs as well, but then her face is growing more serious.

“I mean it,” she murmurs. “You carry yourself differently.”

“That’s just the limp from rolling my ankle.”

“Alex…”

“Mom.”

“That same stubbornness, though,” she says, shaking her head but smiling again.

“That probably won’t go away any time soon.”

“Don’t let it. Being stubborn can be a a good thing. I think being stubborn is probably what got you out of there.” Her smile falters, and she reaches for him again. “How much danger were you in? And you be honest with me.”

Alex swallows, debating with himself just how honest he should be. “There were some, well, some harrowing moments,” he starts slowly. “When...when the pirates boarded us, I - “ He cuts off and clears his throat. “I ran my mouth like an idiot, and the captain singled me out because of it. So we fought.”

“And?”

Alex laughs, the sound coming out nervous, and he shifts, the image of that captain lying dead on the deck just as clear in his mind as the day it happened. “I shot him.”

There’s silence after his confession, and Alex almost feels scared to look at his mom, to gauge her reaction. He’s afraid he’ll see disappointment, or even fear on her face. But after another moment, she kicks him under the covers.

“What - ow!”

“You think I’d be mad at you for doing that?” She asks, and when Alex finally looks at her, she’s giving him a hard look. “I’m mad because he put you in the position of having to do it. But I’m glad that you’re here, and he’s not.”

After swallowing quickly a few times, Alex just nods. “Yeah. But, uhm, other than that, it was mostly once Jefferson took over that there was ever any danger. Right before he went through the portal, he tried to throw a knife at me, but Aaron shot his hand.”

His mom nods slowly, and then her eyes or on his. “And what about Aaron? Did he ever hurt you?”

“Not...no, not anything like that. He lied to me, but….he protected me, I guess. I know that sounds crazy but - “

“It does not sound crazy,” his mom interjects. “ _You_ are not crazy. Nothing you’re feeling is crazy.” She smiles at him. “I’m just trying to figure out how I’d react if I ever met him, because a big part of me still thinks I’d slap him.”

That pulls a shocked laugh from Alex. “That’s how I felt for a while, too,” he tells her. “Maybe I still feel a little like that, but…”

“But?”

“I don’t know. I guess I just think about what I would do if I thought you were stuck on some planet somewhere, and no one would help me get to you. I’d probably do the same things he did.”

His mom stares at him for a few seconds, her eyes roaming over his face. “I think I would, too,” she whispers. "If it was you."

Alex closes his eyes, affection for his mom welling up inside of him, and he lets her wrap her arms around him, hugging him as best she can with their awkward positioning.

They stay that way for a while, but eventually Alex takes a deep breath. “He gave me gold. Aaron did. For the Inn, specifically. So we can rebuild.”

His mom pulls back. “But - “

“It’s yours. All of it. I don’t want any of it. The treasure was the reason I went, mom. I wanted to get it for you. So use it, please. Use it on anything you want. Even if you don’t want another Inn, that’s fine. Use it for something else. Just....use it.”

His mom stares at him, eyes searching, and a small frown appears on her face. “And what about you? What will you do, now that your back? Stick around and help me at this new Inn I’m apparently building?”

Alex laughs, but then her question actually sinks in, and he shrugs. “If you need me to.”

“Alex...you were _never_ happy working at the Inn. And you not being happy meant you going out and finding something to distract yourself and getting into trouble. I’m not going to put you into that position again.”

“But I won’t leave you to do it all on your own, I - “

“I’ll hire help,” his mom interrupts. “I’ll get Hercules to help where they can. And maybe your new friend, Lafayette, would help, too. But I want you to do what you want to do.”

“I don’t know what I want to do,” he admits softly. “I...I feel like I still don’t know what I’m good at.”

“Well, despite what you might think,” his mom starts, moving a piece of hair from his forehead. “You have plenty of time to figure that out. Take your time.”

“I’ve never been very good at that.”

“I disagree. What you told me about Jefferson, about what he did, he had you captive for days, and you took your time with that. You waited. And then the opportunity presented itself to fight back.”

“But I didn’t - “

“Just because you didn’t physically do something,” his mom continues,” doesn’t mean you didn’t do something. Stop selling yourself so short.”

A laugh escapes him. “I’ve never been very good at that, either.”

“Well it’s time you learned.” She pulls back even more, staring at him for a beat before taking one of his hands. “I’m so happy you’re home.”

Alex smiles, and he squeezes her hand, letting his eyes slip shut. “Me, too.”

-

Alex sleeps till the afternoon the following day, his body finally realizing just how tired he really was. 

When he gets out of bed, he feels groggy and parched, but there’s still a thrum of contentment running through him because he’s home, and water and coffee is right downstairs.

So he bounds down the steps, wondering how late everyone else slept in, but then he’s bursting through the kitchen doors, and he freezes, his eyes taking in the sight of all of his friends, plus his mom, crowded around the kitchen table, Theodosia standing beside it.

“Uh….” 

“Mr. Hamilton,” Theodosia says, her lips quirking up. “So good of you to join us. Is this the usual time you wake up?”

“No,” Alex grumbles, but his face heats up anyway. “You know it’s not.”

His mom shoots him a stern look. “Alex - “

But Theodosia waves a hand. “Oh, don’t worry. After what we’ve been through together, formalities are no longer needed. And there is the added fact that I’m no longer a captain.” 

Alex’s head snaps up at that. “What?”

“Suspended,” Theodosia clarifies, her tone calm despite the topic. “But, to be honest, it was a better outcome than I expected.”

“You helped save us,” Eliza says from her seat, looking furious. “They should be giving you  a medal, not suspending you.”

Theodosia looks pleased at that, and Alex notices Angelica and Peggy sharing a look, probably picking up on the feelings between Theodosia and Eliza just as quickly as everyone else had.

“What else did they say?” Alex asks, needing to know. “The Naval commanders? What did they say when they told you about everything?”

Theodosia says nothing for a moment, but then she takes a deep breath. “They accepted without much questioning that Jefferson was Silver, and that Madison was the Morph who was helping him along with his mission and altering his appearance. And…”

“And?”

“And when I told them about Aaron being aboard the ship, they did seem visibly… startled.”

“So it really was all true?” Alex asks. “They never wanted him on a ship? The… the cover up about his parents, it was true?”

“I still don’t have tangible proof,” Theodosia says slowly, “but… if I had to guess, I would say yes. Especially since… “

“Since?”

Theodosia shifts on her feet. “They said they would release a brief statement on the events, but not reveal too many details, stating the public did not need to know. And…” she looks around at them all. “Everyone who was on the voyage has been offered a spot in the Naval Academy.”

There’s silence after that, and Alex’s mind works fast to connect the dots.

“To keep us quiet about what happened.”

Theodosia nods. “However, the offer was not made until after I told them how admirably you all acted, and, even if the offer is being given partly out of the hope to gain your favor, you all have my word that I believe you more than deserve a spot in the Royal Navy. If you should choose to do so, of course.” 

Lafayette speaks up first, looking confused. “I do not understand why they wish to keep us quiet? Quiet about what exactly?”

Theodosia shifts heavily from foot to foot. “From everything that we have learned from Aaron, Bellamy, and Maria, it’s clear that the Royal Navy made many mistakes in regards to  trying to capture Captain Hanover, the biggest of which being Aaron’s parents put into the position of going under cover, but then being abandoned.”

“But my crew went after them,” Lafayette says, and he falters a little. “While I...I don’t remember what happened, it is clear that the Navy sent us after Hanover, yes?”

“That is true,” Theodosia says. “But, from what I understand, the only gap in your memory is your crew finding Hanover and the resulting fight. So you remember everything before that. Did you have instructions to bring back the Burr’s?”

After a beat, Lafayette shakes his head. “I was not aware of...of there being anyone on the planet that needed saving. We were given orders to explore the planet, and either kill or take hostages if anyone was found.”

Theodosia nods, cleary having expected that answer, but her face grows grim. “While that doesn’t necessarily mean there were not others aboard your ship that did know the truth, I have to presume it isn’t exactly a positive looking situation. My guess? There was a plan to have Aaron’s parents killed, so as to do damage control.”

“They didn’t want it getting out how badly things had gone,” Alex murmurs. “Especially the bit about Aaron’s parents having to help Hanover kill and pillage. I mean, just think of the outrage. The Royal Navy was able to find Hanover, get spies aboard his ship, but they were ordered to keep spying, not bring them to justice.”

“And these are the people were supposed to join up with?” John asks with a snort. “Not likely.”

But Alex shrugs his shoulders, grinning at his friend. “Can’t do anything about it from the outside, can you? But joining them….”

“Alex…” His mom sounds exasperated, and Alex turns to look at her with the best innocent expression he can muster. “You haven’t even been back a full day and you’re already plotting something.”

Alex just shrugs again, and he catches Theodosia’s eye, a grin spreading across his face when he notices the amused look on her face.

“He isn’t wrong,” she says. “And if anyone could make a change, I no longer have any doubts that Alexander is the one who could do it.” She nods at him, and then looks around at everyone. “If any of you want to join the Academy, you have my recommendation. You’ll still have to take the tests, of course, but you won’t find them too difficult.”

“And they’d really let us join?” John asks, sounding more eager than before.

“I believe so.”

“And if they ask us about the voyage? About Aaron and the rest of the pirates?”

“ _When_ they ask you,” Theodosia clarifies, and then she shrugs. “Stick with the story we all agreed upon while aboard the ship. Just keep out anything about knowing who Aaron was, and that’s that. And the true version of events will stay between us, and not leave this house.”

Theodosia sticks around for lunch, and everyone is chatting loudly and happily, but Alex finds himself staying quiet, his mind wrapped up in the idea of joining the Academy, and then going on to be a part of the Royal Navy.

Is that what he should do? What he wants?

A part of him can’t quite move past all of the bad things he’s heard about the Royal Navy, but it’s like he said before, nothing will change if there aren’t people on the inside pushing for change. If he makes it in, and if he makes it far enough, he could have enough of a reputation to make a difference. Or at least enough of a reputation to be believed when he comes out with the story about what the Royal Navy did in regards to Hanover.

And then, on a more selfish note, Alex wants to join because it would mean being on a ship again, it would mean flying through the sky, it would mean traveling. And it could mean finding Aaron again.

“Alex?”

He hums and turns to find his mom staring at him.

“What?”

“What are you thinking about?” she asks, and Alex opens his mouth, hesitating a moment before responding.

“I was thinking about what Theodosia said about the Academy. About...about joining it.”

His mom stares at him, eyes roaming over his face. “You want to do it?”

Alex swallows, and he moves the food on his plate around for a few seconds. “I think I’d be good at it,” he murmurs, and when he looks back at his mom, she’s smiling.

“I have no doubt that you would be,” she tells him, but she still looks worried. “I just have one request.”

“What?”

“Don’t apply right away.”

Alex swallows again, his throat tight, and he nods at his mom, who gives him a shaky smile in return before reaching out to place a hand on his arm.

“I know it’s selfish,” she says, “but I’m not quite ready to let you go again just yet.”

“I’ll wait. I’ll help with the Inn. I’ll - “

“You don’t need to wait that long,” his mom tells him with a laugh. “Just give me a month or two.”

“Okay," Alex promises. "A month or two. Maybe three.”

They smile at each other, and then Theodosia is clearing her throat across the table, and Alex turns to see her grinning at him.

“Did I hear that correctly? You’ll join the Academy?”

Alex fidgets as everyone turns to stare at him. “I think so. I...I’ll have to think about it some more, but I… yeah, I think I’m going to do it.”

“You’ll be great,” Theodosia says, sounding sure of it. “Just don’t break my record of becoming the youngest captain in history. I’ll never forgive you, if you do.”

The thought makes Alex smirk, and he leans back in his seat and shrugs, unable to keep the excitement he feels at the new journey ahead of him from bubbling beneath his skin.

“No promises.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this over the span of a month, so I hope everything makes sense and connects!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation! Leave them here or on my tumblr @fanciful-follies! :D


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in the epilogue-ish section of the story now. There will be time jumps in most of the remaining chapters.

Alex grumbles as he picks at his uniform, and apparently he grumbles loud enough for John to hear, because his friend elbows him hard in the side while they walk, and Alex turns to glare at him.

“You deserved it,” John tells him. “You literally have _nothing_ to be grumbling about.”

“These stupid fucking buttons are plenty to be - “

John stops in front of Alex and turns to face him, and he gives him an exasperated look as he quickly fixes a couple of buttons on Alex’s uniform jacket.  John’s own jacket, navy blue with gold lining and threads - the color graduating medics for the Royal Navy wear - was impeccable looking.

“There,” John says, slapping his hands on Alex’s shoulders before taking a step back. “You’re all set.”

“I wish my uniform was navy blue,” Alex mutters, staring down at his white jacket and pants, the gold standing out brightly against the fabric. “I swear I already got this dirty, and I’ve had it on for what, two hours tops?”

“Oh, boo hoo. You literally graduated from the Academy on the track to become a captain in three years rather than the normal five. Are you really bitching about the color of your uniform that shows that?”

Alex bristles slightly, but then he glances back down at his uniform, and it doesn’t take long for a smile to flit across his face, and John snorts.

“You’re such an ass.”

“Takes one to know one, Dr. Laurens,” Alex quips, and John just snorts again. Then they’re both turning at the sound of footsteps approaching.

Lafayette is running towards them, a huge grin on his face, wearing a uniform that matches John’s right down to the buttons.

He’d decided to become a doctor, and while Alex assumes a big part of it was to be close to John, Lafayette also told them that after seeing his crew dead, he felt a responsibility to train so that he could help save the lives of others whenever he could.

“You two walk very slowly,” he says once he reaches them. “I thought I would be meeting you at the Inn, but here you are, not even halfway there yet!”

“That’s cause Alex wanted to whine about his looks,” John says, and then he’s stepping towards Lafayette, leaning in to press a quick kiss to the Android’s mouth that leaves them both grinning.

“That’s enough of that,” Alex tells them, but John only smirks.

“You’re just jealous.”

The words are only out of his mouth for about two seconds before both Lafayette nudges him, and both of their expressions turn worried, as if they’re waiting for Alex to explode or something..

Alex swallows hard, and then clears his throat. “You guys don’t need to look at me like that. In fact, I’d really prefer it if you didn’t.”

“It has just been a long time for you,” Lafayette says. “You have not been with anyone since we returned from the voyage, since A-”

“I’m aware,” Alex cuts in, and his biting tone causes John to glare at him, but Alex can’t find it in himself to care, but when he spots Lafayette’s hurt expression, he sighs. “Listen, I’m sorry. I just...I don’t need any reminding, okay? Besides, I haven’t had time. Graduating in three years instead of five required all my focus. And I don’t regret that.”

Lafayette nods his head, and he shoots John a quick glance before smiling at Alex. “You are right. I am sorry.”

Alex waves the apology aside, and starts to walk again. “Let’s just get to the Inn.”

His mom had insisted on throwing them all a party to celebrate them graduating, and, knowing his mom, it was going to be one hell of a party, especially since the Inn she was able to rebuild was bigger and better than their previous one. She had even shut it down for the day, not taking any reservations so she could make sure every moment would be spent on Alex and his friends.

As they walk, Alex can’t keep his thoughts from going to what Lafayette said, or more specifically, what he had been _about_ to say. That he hadn’t been with anyone since Aaron.

It’s not like Alex had been turning people away. He hadn’t been lying when he said he didn’t have time for it while in the Academy. He had been so focused on graduating as soon as possible, on showing his strengths and pushing past his weaknesses. He wanted to be a captain as soon as possible, and he’s so close now.

So close to being able to man a ship of his own, so close to potentially being able to find Aaron again.

It’s not like that was Alex’s sole purpose in graduating so fast. He also just wants to be impressive and make a name for himself, but there’s definitely a big part of him that hopes that he’ll meet Aaron again, that they’ll cross paths. Even after all this time, he _hopes_. 

Soon, the Inn comes into view, and all three of them race towards it, and the second Alex opens the front door, a wave of noise greets him.

His mom rushes forward first, arms going around Alex and squeezing him so tight that he can’t breathe. And then she’s pulling back, allowing Alex to see the crowd of people gathered in the room

All of the Schuylers are there, all of John’s family, the friends they had made at the Academy, and Herc and Theodosia are off to the side, both of them grinning widely and clapping along with everyone else.

“I want pictures,” his mom says as she ushers them all inside.

Alex groans. “You took like a hundred at the ceremony!”

“I want more. You look so smart in that uniform.”

Alex rolls his eyes, but he allows his mom to pull him further inside, showing him off, and he’s relieved when Eliza steps forward to hug him.

“Congratulations,” she says, and when she pulls back she pinches him on the cheek. “You look good.”

Alex slaps her hand away, both of them laughing. “C’mon, it hasn’t been that long since we’ve seen each other. You still working on all of your science stuff?”

Eliza rolls her eyes at his phrasing. “Yes, I’m still working on my science stuff.”

Instead of enrolling in the Academy, Eliza had decided to further her astrological research. She’s even started teaching guest lectures at the schools in Montressor. It’s been a good fit for her, even if Alex will miss sailing with her, and he tells her as much.

“Maybe I can be convinced to be hired on as an astrologist if need be,” she says with a laugh, and then she’s moving past him to hug John and Lafayette.

“Congratulations, Alex,” Theodosia tells him as he approaches her and Herc. “While you won’t be the youngest Captain, you certainly graduated faster than anyone I’ve ever heard of.”

Alex laughs at that. “Yeah, well, at least I did that.”

“You should be proud.”

Alex bows his head in a nod, and then he’s laughing again when Herc’s solid form is against him, pulling him into yet another hug.

“Congrats, man.”

“Thanks. How’ve you been?”

Herc shrugs, but there’s a smile on their face. “Oh, you know me. I like the quiet life. Just been helping my gran out with the shop. But tonight is about you. So what’s next in your master plan?”

“Well, I still have a few more trial runs before I can captain a ship on my own,” Alex says. “I’ll shadow a few captains on a few voyages, have them observe me as I’m the acting captain, and if all goes well, then that’s that.”

“What exactly do you do as a captain?”

“I’ll be in charge,” Alex says, laughing when Theodosia gives him an unimpressed look. “In charge meaning I lead the voyage and take care of my crew. Most of the jobs I’ll take will be recovering stolen treasure.”

“Seems fitting.”

“Maybe I’ll have the honor of being one of those captains,” Theodosia says with a small grin, and Alex stares at her in surprise.

“You’re going to be a captain again?”

She’d been suspended for two years, and had decided to take an extra year off, spending most of it with Eliza.

“It’s a discussion Eliza and I are having,” Theodosia murmurs, and her eyes move to something behind him, and Alex has no doubt she’s staring at Eliza. “There are just some...circumstances we need to figure out.”

“Circumstances?”

Theodosia moves her eyes to him, and Alex would swear she almost looks nervous, and then she’s moving a hand to her pocket, as if checking something, and Alex feels his eyes go wide.

“Holy fuck,” he whispers. “Are you gonna propose?”

“Not tonight,” Theodosia hisses. “I’ve just...I’ve just been carrying the ring around, waiting for the right moment. But yes, I plan to propose.”

Alex and Herc grin at each other, both of them probably thinking about how funny it is to see Theodosia so flustered.

“Oh, shut up,” she grumbles, and then she’s pointing a finger at Alex. “You better be careful, especially if you do end up shadowing me. I’ll make that voyage hell for you.”

Alex just laughs. “I’d like to see that.”

Before Theodosia can respond, Alex finds himself being tugged away, and he turns to see his mom beside him again, and then she’s shoving a glass of something into his hand before stepping away, raising a glass of her own.

“To our three graduates,” she says loudly, and Alex looks around to see everyone else raising their glasses in a toast. “To all the hard work they put in the past three years. I’ve had a lot of proud moments as a mom, especially as a mom of this man right here.” She grins at Alex. “But I’m not sure if I have ever been prouder than I am at this moment. To Alex!”

Alex’s face burns as everyone echoes his words, and his throat feels right as his mom continues to grin at him, her eyes watery.

“And to John and to Lafayette!”

Again the words are echoed, Alex joining is this time. He barely takes a sip of his drink before his mom is setting her’s down and clapping her hands together.

“And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for - dinner!”

Cheers go around the room, and Alex laughs as his mom and a few others set to uncover the food laid out on the tables in the back of the room, and Alex hangs back as everyone swarms them.

There’s a tap on his shoulder a few moments later, and he turns to see Angelica beside him.

“I know you’ve probably hear this a hundred times already tonight, but congratulations.”

“Thank you.” He knocks their shoulders together. “I appreciate it. How are you? Still aiming towards being the youngest Senator on Montressor ever?”

Angelica raises an eyebrow. “Do you doubt me?”

“Never.”

Angelica chuckles, and then she’s looking at him a bit more seriously, her gaze thoughtful. “I know that you must be busy, but would you be able to meet with me some time this week? The earlier the better.”

Alex blinks at the request. “Oh, uh, sure. Yeah. I’m free whenever, actually.”

“Great. So, tomorrow?”

“I - sure.”

“I just want to run something past you. An idea I had.”

“Okay…” Alex waits to see if she’ll say anything else. “Well, I’ll be there, then.”

“I look forward to it. Congratulations again, Alex.”

He watches her walk off in confusion, but then someone else is congratulating him, and Alex forgets about her weird request within minutes.

The party is loud, and fun, and full of amazing food. And Alex expected nothing less from his mom. What he does not expect is his mom pulling out all of the newspapers that have talked about Alex’s quick and spectacular progress through the Academy, and he groans as she reads some of the articles aloud.

“Sorry about this,” he mutters to Lafayette and John, both of whom just look amused.

“No worries,” John tells him, one arm looped around Lafayette’s shoulders. “She’s proud of you, it’s nice.”

“We should all be proud,” Alex says after a beat. “We all did good.”

John smiles at him. “Yeah. Yeah I guess we did. I never thought any of us would be here, to be honest.”

“I knew I’d be here,” Lafayette chimes in, and he smirks at John. “You, on the other hand…”

“Fuck off!”

Alex rolls his eyes at the display. “Honestly I’m surprised at the both of you making it through, with the amount of time you spent f - “

John slaps a hand over Alex’s mouth. “My younger siblings are like, three feet away from you!”

Alex just cackles, and John glares at him before smirking.

“Read another article!” he shouts, laughing when Alex groans loudly. “Another article!”

His mom happily complies, and Alex tries to sink into the crown.

-

“I think it went well,” his mom says an hour or to later as she collects plates from the table. “Did you think it went well?”

“I think it was amazing,” Alex tells her. “Thank you, mom.”

She stops what she’s doing and sets the plates back down, turning to smile at him and cup his face in her hands. “You are so welcome. And I am _so_ proud of you. And I’m even more proud of you for letting me read all those articles out loud.”

They both laugh, and Alex moves in to hug her.  “Do you need help cleaning up?”

“No, no, no. I’ve got it. You’ve had a long day, go to sleep.”

“Are you sure? I - “

“Sleep, Alex.” Her smile slips a little. “You look tired. Everything is okay with you, right?”

“Of course,” Alex tells her, but he hesitates a bit before answering, and he knows his mom notices. But he doesn’t want to get into it. He knows he’s just being stupid. “You’re right, it’s been a long day. I just need to crash.”

“Then go crash.”

He gives her one last hug before moving away and heading for the stairs.

The party really had been amazing. More than amazing, if he’s being honest. It felt good to see his mom so happy and so proud of him. That alone made the night perfect. But there’s just that one, small part of Alex that wished Aaron had been there.

Which is stupid. It’s so, _so_ stupid. Because he hadn’t even known Aaron for a year. They’ve been apart longer than they were together, so why does he care so much? Why does he feel that stab of disappointment at not seeing him?  What if Alex has just been building things up in his head? What if Aaron doesn’t even care whether they see each other again? What if he doesn’t want to? What if Alex’s whole goal of finding Aaron again is a complete waste?

Alex runs a hand over his face as he reaches the top of the stairs. Or maybe he’s just overthinking things, as usual. Aaron isn’t the whole reason he chose to become a captain, anyway. He wanted it for himself. And he got it. He got it without anyone’s help. And he should be proud of himself. 

When he walks into his room, slowly starting to unbutton his jacket and deciding he probably just does need a good night of sleep, the first thing he notices is that his window has been opened, and the night air is filling the room. He doesn’t remember having left it open.

Alex moves towards the window, chalking it up to his mom wanting to air out the room or something, but just as he reaches out for it, there’s a hand covering his mouth.

“Don’t yell,” a voice says in his ear, and Alex almost rolls his eyes at the ridiculous command, gearing himself up to yell anyway, to fight back, but then the hand presses harder, and Alex registers the coolness of it.

His breath hitches as his mind catches up with what is happening, with who is in the room with him, and the tenseness in his shoulders lessens, just a bit, and the hand starts to move away.

“It’s just me,” the voice continues, hand dropping completely, and Alex takes a deep breath, gearing himself up before he turns slowly, eyes lifting up to meet Aaron’s, and his breath hitches again.

Neither of them say anything, and Alex, at the moment, is feeling a little too dizzy to come up with something quickly. So he just keeps staring, blinking a few times just to make sure that this isn’t some weird hallucination.

“Hey,” he finally says, and then he wants to punch himself, because _really_? That’s what his mind comes up with to say?

But Aaron just smiles at him. “Hey.”

Alex swallows, watching as Aaron takes a slight step back, widening the distance between them, but the man’s eyes track over Alex, and Alex finds himself doing the same, gaze roaming over Aaron and trying to take in the fact that he’s really here.

“Hey,” Alex says again, and then he winces. “Or, sorry, I…” He forces himself to pause, to take another breath, trying to not feel embarrassed. “It’s been a long time.”

“Three years,” Aaron says without missing a beat. His gaze flicks back up. “You cut your hair.”

Alex laughs, the sound coming out breathless. “Yeah. I, uh, it was Academy regulation.” He brings a hand up to run it over the back of his head where the hairs are slightly shorter than on the top. “It, uhm…”

“You look good,” Aaron tell him, and then he’s clearing his throat. “Or, your hair, it looks good, I mean.”

Alex’s face grows warm, and he ducks his head, hand still rubbing over his hair. “As I said, it’s - “

“Regulation,” Aaron finishes. “For the Academy. I know.”

“Yeah, it - “ Alex cuts off quickly, realizing how this - Alex joining the Royal Navy - must look to Aaron without knowing his reasons. “I just thought it was a good idea,” he continues, suddenly feeling self-conscious, and the words start to spill out. “I mean, I know it’s not exactly the best...that some of the people are...it’s just that I’m really good at it! And I thought that I could - “

“Alexander.” Aaron takes a small step towards him, still smiling. “Relax. I didn’t come here to give you shit for joining the Navy. I think it’s a good fit.”

“Coming from you that probably isn’t a compliment.”

Aaron laughs, but he shakes his head. “I might have a personal vendetta against them, along with most other pirates, but I’m not being mean, Alexander. It is a good fit. You’ll do well. You’re already doing well, graduating in just three years. When is your first voyage?”

“Test run is in a couple months,” Alex says, having memorized the schedule. “Possible first run as a Captain is in about a year, depending on how the test run goes. Theodosia is just happy I won’t beat out her record. She - “ He stops there, a thought coming to him.

He stares hard at Aaron, who is staring back, expression turning more and more confused the longer they stare at each other.

“What?”

“How did you know I graduated in three years?” Alex asks. “And how did you know tonight was my graduation? What did you come here for?”

Aaron looks embarrassed at the question, and he turns away from Alex, looking as if he’s even going to move away, but Alex is fast, stepping into Aaron’s space and reaching a hand out to stop him.

“None of that,” Alex says, starting to laugh, feeling giddy, and he tangles his fingers in Aaron’s shirt. “Come on, why did you finally come tonight of all nights? How did you know?”

Aaron breathes out slowly through his nose, but his eyes move back to Alex. “I’ve...I’ve been keeping up with you, okay?”

“Keeping up with me? What, like stalking me?”

“No. Or, not exactly. I just...a twenty year old flying through the Royal Naval Academy makes the news and I...I’ve just been keeping up to date on it. Reading the papers.”

“The papers about me?” Alex clarifies, and his smile grows wider, thinking back to all the articles his mom had read out loud just hours ago. “You’ve been collecting newspapers about me? That’s...nice.” He had wanted to say “cute,” but he pulled the word back at the last second, not wanting to embarrass Aaron and not knowing if that would still be appropriate to say.

“You’re one to talk,” Aaron mumbles, but he doesn’t look away, and his eyes are warm. 

“That was different. Those were about a pirate doing crazy, amazing things that no one could understand.”

Aaron’s lips quirk up. “Not so different. If you were a pirate, I’d say the situations would be completely identical.” 

“Are you calling me crazy?”

Aaron hums. “That, or amazing.”

Alex blushes, and he uncurls his fingers from Aaron’s shirt and steps back, feeling Aaron’s eyes on him as he does so.

“Sorry,” Aaron starts, sounding uncomfortable, “I didn’t mean to make you - “

“No, it’s fine. You didn’t. It’s just….” Alex trails off, and huffs out a laugh. “It’s just been a while.”

Aaron stares at him for a beat, and then he dips his head into a nod. “I can go if - “

“What? No!” Alex steps forward again. “No, I don’t want you to leave. I just...feel awkward? I guess? I don’t know. I’m being stupid. I wanted to see you for so long and then I didn’t see you for so long and so I thought that maybe I was just overanalyzing everything and building things up in my head but now you’re here and you’re telling me I’m amazing and...and I’m nervous and awkward and I hate you for that.”

Aaron’s mouth had gone slack during his speech, and his eyes a little wide, but then he shifts on his feet, and he clears his throat. “Sorry?”

“Sorry,” Alex repeats. “Really? That’s all you have to say after I just said all that?”

“Well, to be honest, I don’t really understand what I should be apologizing for. For calling you amazing? Because that’s just the t - “

Before he can really think the decision through, Alex is pushing up on his toes and pressing his mouth to Aaron’s.

There’s a moment where Aaron doesn’t do anything, where he’s completely still, and Alex starts to panic, but then Aaron’s hands move to rest on Alex’s waist, pulling him a little closer, and Alex smiles, deepening the kiss and realizing just how much he’s missed Aaron.

Alex smoothes his hands up Aaron’s chest, loops his arms around Aaron’s neck, and then Aaron’s tongue is on his lip, and Alex shudders as he allows Aaron to coax his mouth open, humming into the kiss.

Aaron takes another step forward, forcing Alex to take a step backwards, and when Alex suddenly feels the wall against his back, he arches against Aaron, a soft whine escaping him when Aaron kisses him harder.

But then Aaron is pulling away, breathing fast. “I - “

Alex surges forward before Aaron can continue, kissing him again, and he feels Aaron laugh against his mouth, kissing Alex back for a few long seconds before pulling away for a second time.

“Alexander,” Aaron says, inhaling sharply when Alex presses another kiss to his lips. “I just...I didn’t come here for this. I just want you to know that and - “

Alex shushes him, kissing him on the mouth, and then the jaw, and then he moves his lips to Aaron’s neck, working at the skin there, and Aaron groans, but it’s such a soft sound that Alex almost misses it.

“Alexander,” Aaron says again, and he takes a step back, but Alex doesn’t let him get far.

“I know you didn’t come here for this,” Alex assures him. “But it’s fine Aaron, it’s fine. I missed you.”

He tugs Aaron forward, slanting their mouths together in a deep kiss, and he feels Aaron lean into it like he can't resist, but then a couple seconds go by, and Aaron moves away, and when Alex opens his eyes, the other man’s brow is furrowed, which is never a good sign.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Aaron starts when he catches Alex's gaze. “Because I do. I…” He trails off there, lips pressing together, and he looks angry with himself.

And Alex moves his hands to cup Aaron’s face, keeping him from looking away. And that’s when Alex notices the dark circles beneath Aaron’s eyes, the thinness of his face. And  Alex frowns, as he is suddenly struck by how exhausted Aaron looks. 

“It’s probably for the best that we don’t,” he says after a moment. “My mom’s room is right down the hall, and I can be _very_ loud.”

Aaron’s eyes go wide, clearly surprised by Alex’s statement, and then he’s laughing weakly, leaning in to press his forehead against Alex’s.

“You haven’t changed at all,” Aaron murmurs, and Alex grins.

“Well, then you won’t be surprised by how I’m about to talk you into staying the night to make up for the fact that you won’t kiss me.”

“Alexander…”

“No funny business,” Alex promises, determined to get Aaron to stay so that he can make sure the man sleeps. “On my honor.”

“I’ll have to leave early,” Aaron insists. “I don’t want to risk being seen.”

Alex lets his hands drop, and he squints at Aaron. “Are people looking for you?”

“Not particularly. It just...it’s better if I’m not seen.”

“I thought people think Silver is gone?”

Aaron’s eyes track across his, and he hums softly. “So it was you.”

“It was me what?”

“You started the rumor that Silver was Jefferson. That he wasn’t really a cyborg. That he wasn’t….me.”

Alex, once again, wants to punch himself. He’d forgotten that he’d manufactured that whole thing, and he’d just gone and admitted it. “Uh…”

Aaron’s mouth slowly quirks up. “All that Academy training, and I still get you to slip up.”

“Shut up,” Alex grumbles, and he shifts on his feet, glancing up at Aaron. “Are you...mad?”

Aaron just shrugs. “What’s done is done. It helped in some ways, hurt in others. But overall I think it kept us safe, so…”

“So why can’t you be seen?”

“Well, like I said,” Aaron starts softly, “it’s just a rumor. And some people don’t believe the rumor. But Bellamy does his best to disguise and hide us, but my reputation garnered enemies, so…” He trails off with another shrug. “I made sure I wasn’t followed though, don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried about that. I know you’re smart enough to get here unseen. I just...are you running from anyone? Are you in danger?”

Aaron gives him a small smile. “What? Worried about a pirate?”

“And what if I am?”

“You shouldn’t be,” Aaron tells him. “You’ll be a Captain for the Royal Navy, soon. You can’t go around worrying about pirates.”

“But - “

“What will you do if you come across pirates?”

Alex blinks at the question, taken aback by the sudden change in topic. “I - “

“You’ll have to fight them,” Aaron continues. “Cause they’ll fight you. And you can’t assume they’re all like me, Bellamy, and Maria. Because they’re not. They’ll try to kill you.”

“I know that,” Alex snaps. “I’m not an idiot. I was trained for those kinds of situations, Aaron. And I’ve witnessed what a pirate is willing to do just to get his hands on treasure firsthand, so spare me the lecture.”

Aaron flinches slightly at that, but he doesn’t look away. “So what will you do?”

“I’ll fight them.”

“Will you be able to kill them?”

“I - yes.” Alex scowls at the hesitation he hadn’t been able to avoid. “But we’re trained to - “

“Aim for a surrender and take prisoners,” Aaron finishes. “I know. But that’s dangerous. That’s risky. You have to protect your crew, you have to protect yourself. And sometimes that means killing someone.”

“Stop acting like you know,” Alex says. “You rarely killed people! You had Bellamy make it seem like you did!”

“I did,” Aaron agrees. “Because I had the option to. So unless you have a Morph on your crew, then - “

“I’ll have to kill people. Fine. You’ve made your point. I’ll kill pirates if they’re trying to kill my crew, okay?”

“And what if they aren’t trying to kill you?” Aaron asks. “What if they’re just trying to get to whatever you’re after before you? What will you do then? Regulation calls for intercepting them still, doesn’t it? For taking them and putting them in the brig and then turning them over. Will you do that? Will you turn them in and allow them to be hanged?”

Alex swallows. “I…” 

“You shouldn’t be hesitating. You can’t hesitate out there. You need to know. You need to know what - “

“Stop it!” Alex interrupts, and he’s angry that his voice cracks. “Just stop it! What do you want me to say? That I’ll brutally murder every pirate I set my eyes on? Or that I’ll let every pirate aboard my ship so that _they_ can murder everyone? That I’ll just let that happen? You think I’m stupid?”

“Alexander, no, I - “

“I worked hard to be here,” Alex continues, his voice steadier. “I graduated in three years for a reason! I’m not some little kid that you can lecture anymore!”

“You were never that,” Aaron cuts in, his voice gentle, contrasting Alex’s. He at least has the decency to look a little ashamed. “I’m sorry. I...I didn’t come here to fight.”

Alex laughs sharply at that. “Then what exactly did you come here for? Cause apparently it wasn’t to kiss me, and it also wasn’t to yell at me, but those are still the only two things you’ve done.”

Aaron shifts on his feet, looking guilty. “I just….wanted to see you. I’ve been meaning to for a while, but...well, at first I was dealing with...” Aaron waves a hand in the air. “With everything, I guess. And then I thought that maybe, well...maybe you wouldn’t want to see me.”

Alex huffs out a breath, but he lets his face soften. “Well, you were wrong. As usual.”

Aaron gives a tentative smile at that. “And I’m sorry. I was just reading about you creating this...this amazing future for yourself and I didn’t want to show up and somehow mess that up.”

“You wouldn’t have messed it up,” Alex tells him gently. “I’m pretty happy with how my life is going right now. I wouldn’t let anything mess it up.”

“No, I know that. That’s...I didn’t mean - “ Aaron cuts himself off, and Alex can see him inhale. “I just meant that I was trying to time my visit so that, in case you got angry, it wouldn’t mess with anything you were doing. I know we parted on okay terms, I just...I wasn’t sure if, over time, you started to feel differently.”

“Differently?”

“I thought that…” Aaron trails off for a moment, eyes flitting to the side. “That you wouldn’t….like me, anymore.”

“ _Like_ you?” Alex asks, unable to keep the incredulous tone from his voice. “What are we? Twelve? Aaron…” Alex steps towards the man, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder and waiting for Aaron to stubbornly meet his gaze. “I promise, not that much has changed. You’re still the frustrating, condescending asshole you’ve always been. So, of course I still like you.”

Aaron doesn’t seem to know how to respond to that, and he just stands there, staring at Alex with his brow furrowed.

“So,” Alex says slowly, laughing a little as the moment stretches on, and he lets the word hang in the air, not sure what else to say.

Aaron nods. “I should go.”

“I thought you were going to stay the night?” Alex asks, surprised.

“You still want me to?”

“Of course I still want you to! Were you not listening to anything I just said?”

“I…” Aaron shuts his mouth, stares at Alex for a beat, and shakes his head. “You haven’t changed at all, either. Fine. I’ll stay.”

“Good,” Alex says. “Cause, no offense, but you look like you could use a good night’s sleep.”

Aaron laughs at that. “Well, you’re not wrong.”

“Am I ever?” Alex quips, and he grins when Aaron gives him a look. Then he goes over to the bed, plopping down onto it. “Well, come on.” He pulls a pillow onto his lap, and then pats it. 

Aaron shifts on his feet, eyes flicking to the window as if he’s still considering leaving.

“Aaron, come on. I’ll set an alarm and everything so you don’t oversleep and get caught by my mom or whatever it is you’re freaking out about. Just sleep for a couple of hours, okay? Besides, it’s not like Bellamy isn’t sneaking away to visit Herc right at this moment. You’d be doing them a favor if you stayed.”

Alex pats the pillow again, and Aaron starts forward, and then pauses, toeing off his shoes before climbing onto the bed.

“You always had a knack for convincing me to do things,” he mutters as he lies on his back, head tilting back slightly to look at Alex. 

“Only things you were already considering,” Alex tells him gently, and that causes Aaron to stare up at him with searching eyes, the moment stretching on, and then the man just hums, and his eyes shut.

So Alex stares down at Aaron with unabashed intensity, noticing the thinness of his face again, and the way he already seems to be slipping off to sleep.

And yet Alex still can’t stop himself from speaking, desperate to spend as much time catching up as they can.

“You never really told me what you’ve been up to. I mean, it’s been three years. There must be some good stories for you to tell me.” He also wants to know why Aaron seems so tired.

Aaron’s lips twitch, but his eyes don’t open. “There really aren’t. We...or _I_ , I guess, took some time to recover, and then we had to go around getting enough money for my surgeries. Had to get an entire new leg, and it didn’t come cheap.”

“But I thought you took treasure from the planet?”

“I gave you my share,” Aaron says casually, as if that isn’t news to Alex. “And Bellamy and Maria tried to use theirs for me, but I wouldn’t let them. Bellamy wanted to visit home and give some to his parents, and Maria wanted new weapons. So we pulled a few jobs, got enough money for an operation. It just took a while.”

Alex lets all of that sink in, teetering on the edge of telling Aaron he was stupid to not use the money for himself, to get better, but he bites back the words. It all happened already. Him commenting on it won’t change that. And Aaron is better now, anyway.

“What about now?” Alex asks gently. “What are your plans for the future?”

Aaron is silent for a long time, Alex almost thinking that he’s already fallen asleep,  and then - 

“Still have to find a new dream to chase, I guess.” He cracks his eyes back open. “Tell me about you. How did you even get into the Academy?”

“It was Theodosia’s suggestion. Or, well, mostly. After she gave the full report to the Royal Navy after our voyage, the offered everyone spots in the Academy.”

“How nice of them.” Aaron's tone is sarcastic.

“We knew it was just cause they didn’t want us digging deep into all of their shit,” Alex says. “We’re not stupid. But I wasn’t about to let that opportunity slide.”

“Good,” Aaron murmurs, and Alex notices that his eyes have slipped shut again. “You shouldn’t have let it slide. It’s a good opportunity. You belong on a ship, whether it’s a naval ship or a pirate ship, it doesn’t matter.”

Alex snorts. “I really don’t think I would have made a good pirate.”

“Agree to disagree,” Aaron says, his words starting to slur together. “You would have been amazing.”

Alex blinks at that, and he stares down at Aaron, whose breathing was starting to even out. His mind goes back to Aaron asking him to go with him all those years ago. He can’t help but wonder what his life would be like if he’d said yes. But how could he have said yes? He would have been giving up too much. Even if he - 

“You think very loudly.”

Alex looks down at Aaron again. His eyes are still shut, but there’s a smile playing across his lips.

“Well, you’re just annoyingly observant,” Alex tells him, and they both laugh, and then Alex grows more serious. “Are you mad at me for not going with you?”

“No,” Aaron says without missing a beat. “I shouldn’t have asked. You had no reason to say yes.”

“I had a few reasons,” Alex says softly. “And I’m glad you asked.”

He only has a brief moment to see Aaron’s expression shift into something more open, more vulnerable, before he’s moving, turning so that half of his face is pressed against the pillow on Alex’s lap.

“I’m glad you said no.”

“Aaron, w - “

“You have a good life,” Aaron continues. “A good family. I shouldn’t have tried to take you away from all of that.”

Alex is a little shell shocked by that, and half of him wants to get into an argument with Aaron, tell him it never came across that way, but he knows that if he pushes too much, Aaron will leave.

“Well,” Alex starts, “am I at least allowed to say I’m glad that you’re here now, or will you try to argue with me about that, too?”

“I’m not arguing with you I’m just - “

“Aaron.” Alex breaks in with a laugh. “It’s fine. I’m just...I’m just teasing you. Which, okay, might not be the best idea when you’re exhausted.”

“I’m not - “

“You are.” Alex lifts a hand and runs it across Aaron’s cheek. “So sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up and, if you want, we can argue more in the morning.”

Aaron doesn’t respond, but he grabs at Alex’s hand, pulling it away from his face and then he's lacing their fingers together, letting both of their hands rest against his chest.

And Alex watches him fall asleep, smiling a little as he remembers how often Aaron had done the same for him, and then he’s falling asleep himself, feeling warm and content with Aaron so close.

-

When his alarm goes off the next morning, Alex flails upright, cursing under his breath as he reaches for the alarm to turn the sound off. It’s only once the room is silent that Alex realizes Aaron isn’t in the bed.

He leaps to his feet, getting ready to curse Aaron’s name for slipping out, when he spots the man sitting at Alex’s desk, an amused look on his face as he watches Alex.

“Oh,” Alex says. “Hi. I didn’t see you.”

“I didn’t mean to surprise you. I woke up about an hour ago, and you were busy drooling on your pillow, so I let you be.”

Alex’s face heats, and he scowls at Aaron, which just make the man laugh and stand, allowing Alex to see what he had been holding. His book about Treasure Planet. The one Aaron had rescued from the fire.

“You know,” Aaron starts, “I had the same book as a kid.”

“You did? What happened to it?”

“I tore all the pages out after getting into a fight with my uncle about my parents. Right after I tried getting into the Academy and they rejected me.”

Alex shifts on his feet. “Oh.”

“I’m not mad at you,” Aaron tells him, and he places the book down. “I’m not mad at you for saying no to me, and I’m not mad at you for joining the Royal Navy. I just… I don’t want you to be mad at me for my choices either, for choosing to be a pirate, even after you tried to give me an out by telling people that Jefferson was Silver.”

“I - “

“I mean, you can be mad at me for lying to you, I’m not saying that. I should have trusted you. And I do trust you now. Everything that I was saying yesterday, it’s not because I don’t trust you, or because I doubt you, it’s just… “ Aaron trails off, and Alex watches his throat work as he swallows. “I just worry. About you.”

Alex blinks a few times, and then he’s grinning. “Wow. That was all very… eloquent.”

Aaron snorts. “The wonders that a few hours of sleep can do.” He smiles and then walks towards Alex, reaching out to cup his face. “I always knew you’d be great. Maybe I didn’t know the exact situation, like you being a captain for the Royal Navy, but I always knew that you’d blow everyone away, and anyone surprised by that is stupid for not seeing your potential.”

Alex can’t help but be overwhelmed by this sudden outpouring. “Aaron, what - “

“And you’re going to continue to blow people away,” Aaron murmurs, stepping closer. “As you should. I just want you to promise to be careful.”

“I’m always careful.”

“Alexander.” Aaron’s expression shifts, becoming tight in a way that Alex still recognizes as meaning Aaron is being annoyingly serious. “You’re going to garner attention, a reputation, and certain people will be drawn to that, wanting to challenge you.”

“Certain people?”

“Pirates.”

Alex scrapes his teeth over his lower lip as he takes in Aaron’s words. “I know there are risks,” he says gently. “And I know how to deal with them. I can handle myself.”

“I know you can.”

“So why are you - “

“Just _promise_ me,” Aaron cuts in, and he presses his forehead to Alex’s. “Just promise me you’ll be careful. Promise me you won’t take unnecessary risks. Even if it’s a lie, just tell me so I can stop - “

Alex pulls back so he can stare at Aaron, and when he sees that the man’s eyes are closed, his jaw tight, Alex feels something tug at his chest.  He reaches out to rest a hand on Aaron’s waist. “Are you that worried about me?”

Aaron lets out a laugh. “Does that really surprise you? After everything that happened?”

And the answer to that is no. Alex isn’t surprised. Aaron, while maybe taking a rough path to get there, had been ready to give up everything he’d work towards to make sure Alex and his friends were safe. 

“I’m not surprised,” Alex tells him after a few more seconds. “And I do promise to be careful.”

Aaron actually exhales, as if he’d been holding his breath, and then his lips are pressing against Alex’s, kissing him hard but quick. “Thank you.”

Alex curls his fingers in Aaron’s shirt. “Do you have to go?”

Aaron runs his thumbs across Alex’s jaw, eyes flicking across his face, but he nods, and Alex presses his lips together and forces himself to nod in return.

“My offer still stands, though.”

“Your offer?”

“To come with me.”

Alex laughs, and he leans in, resting his cheek against Aaron’s shoulder. “You have the worst timing with that question.”

Aaron laughs too, and his arms move so that they are wrapped around Alex. “I think it’s because the rational part of me doesn’t actually want you to say yes. You’d be leaving too much behind.”

“Well, the irrational part of me wants to say yes,” Alex murmurs. “And my irrational part usually wins out.”

Aaron’s hand slides up Alex’s back, and then it’s tangling in his hair, tugging gently until Alex tilts his face back up, and then they’re kissing again, and Alex groans.

“Don’t do this to me again,” he whispers against Aaron’s mouth, but he moves to meet Aaron in another kiss. “You’re so unfair. I hate you.”

Aaron smiles, Alex can feel it, and even when he bites at Aaron’s lip in retaliation, Aaron keeps smiling. But eventually he pulls away, and Alex tries to chase after him.

“I have to go,” Aaron tells him. “I’m sorry, but I have to.”

“Will it be three years until I see you again?” Alex asks, hating how his voice cracks at the end.

Aaron sighs, and he steps back, hands finding Alex’s and squeezing. “It won’t be that long. Not if you don’t want it to be.”

“I don’t.”

Aaron stares at him for a beat, and then he’s letting go of his hands, taking another step back towards the window, and his expression turns exasperated when Alex follows him. “Alexander…”

“How will you find me?”

“If you make as big of a name for yourself as I’m worried about, then I’ll know where to find you.”

“Are you trying to say you’ll be one of the pirates coming after me?” Alex means it as a joke, but Aaron’s expression tightens. “Hey, I didn’t mean - “ His words are cut off quickly when Aaron moves in fast to kiss him for a third time that morning. 

This kiss lingers for long seconds, and Alex feels too shocked by it do anything, his brain only starting to work again when Aaron slowly moves away.

“I’ll never get in your way,” Aaron tells him. “But…”

“But?”

Aaron’s jaw works, and Alex watches him breathe in deep. Then he gives a small shake of his head, a smile forming on his lips. “But I’ll see you soon.”

Alex has a feeling that wasn’t what he was going to say, but the words make him happy enough to overlook that fact. “Is that a promise?”

“It’s a promise.”

And then Aaron is turning away from him, pushing the window open and then hoisting himself onto the window sill. He turns back as he slides through, eyes finding Alex, and for a moment, they both stare at each other, saying nothing.

But then Aaron is gone, and once again, Alex is left staring at nothing by the open space in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation. Leave them here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies :D


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the explicit rating comes into play y'all, just so you know.
> 
> Enjoy! x

_**~ A year and a half later ~** _

 

When Alex steps aboard his ship with a treasure chest in his hands, his crew greets him with boisterous cheers, and while he knows he should wave it all aside, part of him is happy his hands are full, because the praise feels good.

“This applause is for all of you, too,” Alex shouts, grinning at everyone. “Another success to add to our list!”

The cheers intensify, and Alex laughs, finally setting the chest down so he can hold up both of his hands to quite some of the noise. 

“All right, all right! Really, though. As a captain, I couldn’t be prouder.” He glances around at his crew. “Our voyages have been getting harder, but every time, you all rise to the challenge. Even with the threat of two pirate ships tracking us, none of you showed fear. And when one crew did show up to try and intercept the treasure, you all fought well and drove them back.”

There’s one more loud burst of cheers, and then Alex claps his hands together, and he motions for his first mate, Kitty Livingston, to come to his side.

“Get everyone ready to head back home,” he tells her. “And send anyone who sustained any kind of injury to John and Laf."

“Aye aye, Captain.”

“You know you don’t actually need to say that,” Alex tells her with a short laugh, which she returns.

“Come on, it’s half the reason I wanted to become a member of a crew.”

“It just sounds a little silly,” Alex says, and when Kitty arches a brow, he hurries on. “I mean, keep saying it if you want to! I like it, I just - “

“Alex,” she interrupts with another laugh. “I’m only teasing you. And hey, good job today.”

“You too.”

She nods at him and then walks away, relaying his instructions to the rest of the crew.

Alex bends down to pick up the chest, thinking back to when he’d been worried that him and Kitty wouldn’t work well together, that him being years younger than her would make him being the captain awkward and a reason for tension between them.  But he realized he’d been underestimating Kitty and projecting his worries onto her. She was an amazing first mate who had a repertoire with the crew that kept everyone in high spirits. Alex knows he gets too caught up in his own head to calm people down sometimes. He could never do what Kitty does. They’re a good team.

He’s been a captain for almost a year, his test runs having gone quicker than he expected. It’s been hard, and he has something that's close to a panic attack before every voyage, mind going through every way that something could go wrong, but he always comes through to the other side. He’s doing a good job.

Even when, just as Aaron predicted, pirates did start coming.

The first few months of him being a captain went by without too much trouble, but when he started acquiring more and more treasure for the Royal Navy, things started getting trickier. More and more warnings started coming in that pirates would be after him or racing towards the same treasure, but Alex found that the threats always seemed to be exaggerated, and there were never as many pirates to deal with as reported.

When he reaches his quarters, Alex places the chest on the large table in the middle of the room. He opens the it, letting out a low whistle when he sees the piles of gold and jewels of all different colors inside. He reaches out to pick up one of the sapphires near the top of the pile, but then he freezes when there is a sudden pressure against his neck. He looks down, seeing the all too familiar sight of a sword pressed against his skin, and he becomes aware of the heat of another body behind him.

He slowly raises his arms. His heart is pounding in his chest, and he’s cursing himself for not hearing the person come in, or even noticing them in the room. They must have been damn quiet to sneak up on him like that. 

“If you want the treasure,” Alex starts, hands still raised to chest level as he tries to think of a way out of this, “then I’m afraid you’re going to have to kill me for it.”

“A brave gesture,” a familiar voice says from behind him, making Alex’s heart stop. “But unnecessary. I’m afraid I’ve come for something else, if you’re willing to hear me out.”

Alex swallows, a breathless laugh escaping him despite the sword still pressed against him. “Is that so?” he asks, heart re-starting when a chuckle comes from behind him. “I do believe I should be able to see the man who is about to bargain with me, don’t you think?”

There’s a brief pause after his words, and Alex feels like he’s vibrating from all of the anticipation buzzing underneath his skin. But then the sword pressed against him moves away slightly, and Alex spins with a quick movement, eyes moving from the broad chest in front of him to the face he knew would be there. But it makes his heart leap all the same.

“Captain Hamilton,” Aaron murmurs, his eyes dancing with amusement. 

“Captain Burr,” Alex breathes back, another laugh leaving him. His eyes roam over every part of Aaron he can see, drinking in the sight of him eagerly. “It’s been a long time.”

“Only a year and a half,” Aaron says back, his own eyes traveling over Alex as he says the words. “And just as I predicted, you’re already making quite the name for yourself.” Aaron pauses there and grins. “You never did know how to take things slow.”

“Not my style,” Alex quips back, a matching grin on his lips. He notices how Aaron’s eyes dart to his mouth, and Alex feels his body grow warm. It’s been so long, and Aaron looks so _good_. But Alex restrains himself. “Didn’t you have some offer to make me?”

Aaron hums at that, slowly dragging his eyes back up to Alex’s. “As I said, I’m not here for the treasure.” He leans forward, his eye glowing gold for a brief moment. “I’m a little more interested in the current holder of said treasure.”

“Oh?” Alex hums back, leaning out of Aaron’s reach a little, smiling at the frustrated huff that gets out of the other man. He can feel adrenaline from acquiring the treasure still coursing through him, and that combined with seeing Aaron again is making him want to do something reckless. And based off of Aaron's expression and the way he seems to be breathing a little faster than normal, he's feeling the same way. “And what do you want from him?”

“Just a few hours of his time,” Aaron responds, and the way he smiles makes Alex’s heart beat faster. “If that’s not too much to ask.”

“Depends on what you want to do with those few hours,” Alex says, fighting back a laugh when Aaron actually looks bashful at those words. He’s never seen that expression  on Aaron before. “Because if it’s for more lectures, well…”

“We can negotiate the details.”

That makes Alex grin. “And what exactly am I getting out of this little deal? What do I get in return for my time?”

“Your life,” Aaron offers dryly, but Alex can see the smile playing at his lips. “I think that’s fair.”

“Probably the best deal I’ll ever get from a pirate,” Alex agrees, still keeping his distance from Aaron, enjoying taunting him far too much. He licks at his lower lip, laughing softly and the longing look Aaron gives him.

“Alexander,” Aaron says, his voice pleading, and that one, simple word is enough to make Alex’s knees go weak. It’s been so _long_.

“Kiss me,” Alex commands, and he barely has a moment to blink before Aaron’s lips are on his. 

The kiss is hungry, desperate, both of them attempting to make up for all of that lost time. Alex wraps his arms around Aaron’s neck, pulling him closer, moaning when he hears the sound of Aaron’s sword clattering to the ground before there are strong arms around him, keeping him upright. 

“Aaron,” Alex breathes out between a kiss, struggling with wanting to talk to Aaron while also overwhelmed by the desire to feel him and taste every inch of him. But Aaron silences him with another kiss, making the decision for both of them when he works Alex’s legs around his waist, holding him up entirely now. “Love how strong you are,” Alex mumbles, nipping at Aaron’s lip as the other man laughs. 

Then he’s placing Alex on the table beside the treasure chest, kissing him long and hard before pulling away, breathing fast.

“Don’t you dare say you didn’t come here for this,” Alex tells him before he can say anything, and he keeps his arms looped around Aaron’s neck. “ _I_ came here for this, okay? So we have to - “

“You didn’t even know I’d be here,” Aaron says with a snort. “You came in here to count your treasure.” He leans in for another kiss. “What is this? Your fourth acquisition?”

Alex tsks. “Fifth. I thought you were keeping up with me?”

“Must have had a lapse in my attention.”

“Well let me regain your attention then,” Alex murmurs, and connects their mouths again, licking into Aaron’s mouth and sliding his hands down to grab at his hips, ensuring that he stays as close as possible.

And Aaron goes along with it, leaning into the kiss and running his hands up Alex’s thighs, a sigh escaping him, breath running over the corner of Alex’s mouth as Aaron places a kiss to his jaw.

“You look good by the way,” he tells Alex. “The uniform. It suits you.”

“Oh yeah? And are you about to tell me that it would look even better on the floor?”

Aaron pulls back slightly to give him an exasperated look, and Alex bites at his lip and shrugs.

“What? Too much?”

Aaron shakes his head, but he doesn’t lean back in. “I just want to make sure you won’t regret this later,” he starts, doubt starting to line his features. “That this is what you want, because you need to know that - “

“That you can’t stay,” Alex finishes for him, trying not to let the disappointment he feels show on his face, so he moves his eyes down to look at where his hands are still resting on Aaron’s hips. “I know that. And I understand. I just….want to be with you while you’re here.” Heat creeps up Alex’s face at the admission, but he pushes on. “I’ve wanted you for a long time, but if you don’t want to then obviously we don’t have to. I just… yeah. I want to.”

Aaron is silent, and Alex tries not to go into a panic, but then Aaron is tilting his face back up, his fingers gentle as they curl under his jaw.

“I do want to. I want you.” He leans in a little, lips quirking up. “And, now that you've mentioned it, your uniform would look better on the floor.”

Alex laughs, moving his hands to grab at the fabric of Aaron’s shirt. “Well, I happen to feel the very same way about your clothes, so…” He tugs meaningfully, and Aaron smirks as he steps back, pulling his shirt off.

And Alex immediately pulls him back in, fingers skimming over his stomach, and then his chest, movements halting when he brushes over the scar on his shoulder from where Jefferson had shot him all those years ago.

“There’s no pain,” Aaron tells him softly. “It’s like it never happened.”

“But it _did_ happen.” Alex traces over the scar and swallows. “He shot you. And I watched.”

Aaron doesn’t respond. Instead he grabs at Alex’s hand with his metal one and moves it to the middle of his chest, pressing his palm against the skin there. Then he’s leaning in, kissing Alex with a gentle pressure that slowly increases until Alex feels his heart beat faster and faster.  And that’s when he registers the feel of Aaron’s own heartbeat against his hand.

Alex lets out a laugh, and he pulls back to look at Aaron. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Aaron reaches for him, runs a thumb across Alex’s cheek. “And it didn’t even take me three years this time.”

“Still too long.”

“Then let me make it up to you.” Aaron whispers, and he resumes kissing him, moving his hands under Alex’s legs and lifting him up again.

He walks them over to the bed in the corner, wasting no time as he drops Alex on top of it, climbing over him with a gleam in his eyes. Then he’s ducking down, scattering kisses over Alex’s jaw and neck, humming as Alex squirms beneath him.

“Wait,” Alex gasps, pushing at Aaron’s chest. “Wait, wait, wait.” He pants, trying to catch his breath and gather his wits as Aaron hastily pulls back, panic on his face. But Alex reaches out to run a hand soothingly down his chest. “How did you even get onto the ship? I mean, I have guards and…” he trails off, narrowing his eyes at Aaron.

Aaron’s lips twitch at the question, and he leans back down to kiss Alex gently on the lips, pulling back with a coy look. “Your guards are fine.” He kisses Alex more, lips twitching again when Alex gives him a stern look. “I just knocked them out, I promise.”

“Despicable,” Alex murmurs, sliding a hand behind Aaron’s head to pull him down into another kiss. “You’re a despicable, no good pirate.” He licks into Aaron’s mouth, relishing in the groan he receives. “I want you to fuck me.”

Aaron freezes at the words, but then his hands are flying up to the buttons on Alex’s uniform, tearing at them. “You drive me crazy,” he says against Alex’s neck, his hands still working at the buttons. “Since the very beginning you drove me crazy. Everything about you…” Aaron trails off as he leans back to pull the jacket off of Alex, frustration clear on his face when he sees the layers still covering Alex’s top half.

Alex laughs and sits up, shucking some of them off and taking pity on Aaron. Once his chest is bare, Aaron is pushing him back down, focusing all of his attention on the newly exposed skin. His tongue flicks over a nipple, and Alex arches off of the mattress with a noise he'd usually be embarrassed about, but he finds that he can't bring himself to care, not with Aaron finally so close.

“Slow down,” he whispers, hands going to Aaron’s shoulders. “We have time.” He wants this to last. He’s scared of Aaron slipping away again. He needs this to last.

“No,” Aaron murmurs, kissing his way back up to Alex’s neck and sucking on a portion of skin below his jaw. He hums when Alex keens low in his throat, sucking with more intensity for a few moments before pulling back with a satisfied look at what Alex is sure is a sizeable hickey on his neck.

“You’re wearing too much clothing,” Alex grumbles as he sits back up, starting to tug at the fabric of Aaron’s pants. Then they are both toeing off their boots in order to get their pants and underthings off, and soon they’re both gloriously naked.

Alex lets out a long sigh when Aaron covers his body with his own, the warm weight grounding in the best way possible. He’s never felt this much of Aaron’s skin on his, and he hates how long it’s taken for it to happen, and he’s having trouble taking in that it’s actually happening. And, if the expression on Aaron’s face is anything to go by, he’s feeling the same way.

Aaron just stares down at him, his gaze close to pensive, and then he leans down, his nose brushing over Alex’s briefly, and he tilts his head to slide their mouths together, his lips soft and warm and Alex already feels lightheaded from all of it.

His eyes flutter shut, and he moves his hands to cup Aaron’s face, thumbs brushing over his cheeks as Alex tries to bring him even closer, and he hums out his contentment when their tongues slide together. He arches up against Aaron, shivering when he feels Aaron hard against his stomach.

“Okay?” Aaron asks softly, and Alex can’t help but laugh.

“Very okay,” he murmurs, pushing up slightly to get his mouth back on Aaron’s, wanting to memorize the way their lips move against each other.

And Aaron kisses him back, his hips starting to roll down against Alex’s in increments, and Alex has to break the kiss to take in a deep breath, heat already building in his stomach at a rapid pace.

“Oh,” Alex gasps when Aaron suddenly slides down his body, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his chest and stomach before mouthing at his already hard cock. “Oh, fuck.” Alex bucks his hips up, ignoring Aaron’s amused chuckle. 

“ _Slow down_ ,” Aaron teases, licking up his length slowly and looking way more attractive than any person has the right to. “That’s what you wanted, right? To go slow?”

“I want you,” Alex pants, his eyes locking on Aaron’s, “to fuck me.”

Aaron blinks at him once, and then climbs back over him. “Turn over,” he instructs, and Alex hastily complies, getting situated on his stomach. He gasps when there is a slick finger rubbing at the rim of his entrance, and he lets his legs slide further apart, giving Aaron more room as he kneels between them.

“Do you just carry lube with you?” Alex asks, laughing at the idea.

“This is yours,” Aaron answers, continuing to tease Alex. “You have a very predictable hiding spot for it, and I was waiting in you room for a long time before you came in.” He slides one finger in slowly, cutting off the retort Alex had been preparing to give.

Instead Alex moans, rocking back against Aaron’s finger. But then he hesitates, craning his head back to look at Aaron. He waits until Aaron is looking back at him to speak.

“Can I turn over?” he asks. “I want to be able to see you.”

“Whatever you want.”

So Alex flips over, biting hard at his lip when Aaron slides his finger back into him. And while Aaron works him open, Alex lets his gaze roam, taking in all of Aaron. He’s never seen the man completely naked before, and as Alex gets his eye full, he grows increasingly upset about that because _damn_.

Alex shifts just a little, wanting to get closer, and Aaron watches him with fond amusement before moving as well, carefully adding a second finger as he bends over Alex to kiss him.

With the new position, Alex is able to reach down and wrap his fingers around Aaron, heat sparking through him when he hears Aaron inhale sharply through his teeth. Unable to keep a smile off his face, Alex fumbles for where Aaron put the lube, getting some on his hand before returning it to Aaron’s cock, stroking it with more intent. Even though the angle is awkward, after a few tries Alex manages to get a rhythm going that makes Aaron’s hips twitch forward.

And then Aaron groans, his head dropping to rest on Alex’s collarbone. “You’re distracting me.”

“Well I would say I’m sorry, but…” Alex trails off with a smirk, running his thumb over Aaron’s tip, laughing when Aaron all but whimpers. “C’mon. Keeping going.” He works his hips against Aaron’s hand, wanting his fingers deeper. “Give me another.”

Aaron nudges a third finger against Alex’s hole, stretching him so slowly and so carefully that the heat in Alex’s stomach spreads to his chest, making him warm all over. Aaron crooks his fingers inside, and Alex’s mouth falls open at the sensation that invokes. 

“Aaron,” he grits out, sweat starting to drop down his temple. “Please.”

Aaron hushes him, and then he’s pushing himself up and back, ignoring the pout Alex gives him now that he’s out of reach.

Instead he runs a soothing hand down Alex’s chest as he continues to work him open, eyes focused on where his fingers are disappearing into him, and Alex lets out a shuddering breath as he reaches for his own cock, needing some kind of relief.

But it just makes the room feel even hotter, because Aaron’s gaze moves to watch as Alex starts to jerk himself off, eyes dark in a way that makes Alex groan.

“I’m gonna make myself come if you don’t hurry up,” he grits out, stopping the movements of his hand and squeezing at the base of his cock to prove his point. “I’m good, I feel ready.”

Aaron stares at him for a beat, but then he nods, and seconds later Aaron is pressing against him, and Alex bites at his lip as Aaron pushes in.

“Okay?” Aaron asks, his hands coming up to Alex’s hip when he receives a nod. “You’ll tell me if I hurt you.” Not a question, a command, and Alex nods again, letting out a litany of small gasps as Aaron starts to move, moving in and out of him in slow, deep movements.

“Oh,” Alex breathes out after a particular thrust, his whole body feeling electrified. Aaron hits that spot again, and Alex’s fingers tangle in the sheets. “Aaron…” Alex moans as Aaron drapes his body over Alex’s, his arms resting on either side of him, bracketing him in. It changes the angle, his hips pressing fully against Alex’s ass with each thrust. “ _Yes_.”

Aaron hums in agreement, his lips brushing over Alex’s shoulder, and Alex feels him breathing in steady bursts, which is definitely not fair. So Alex clenches his muscles, satisfaction thrumming through him when Aaron’s hips jerk forward.

Alex does it again, rolling his hips up to meet Aaron’s. He breathes in sharply when Aaron’s teeth scrape over the skin of his shoulder, and he moves his hands to clutch at Aaron’s back, nails digging in probably a little too hard.  But Aaron just keeps moving, filling him over and over in a steady rhythm, and Alex gets lost in the feeling of it all, his head tilted back, hands still clutching at Aaron as his body starts to feel like it’s vibrating.

“Aaron,” he manages to get out after a while, sliding a hand down Aaron’s back, feeling the sweat there.

“Alexander,” Aaron sighs back, sounding so content that Alex feels tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

“Please,” he begs, Aaron’s cock dragging in and out of him slowly. “I want to feel you. I want… ” He trails off, his mind too full of pleasure to voice exactly what he wants, but Aaron seems to understand.

He shifts slightly, putting more weight on his arms, and then he’s moving inside of Alex with more force, skin slapping against skin with a noise that has Alex’s face heating up. 

“Oh, god.” He can feel Aaron everywhere; on top of him, his chest rubbing against Alex’s. He’s inside of him, hitting Alex in all the right places. And his voice is in Alex’s ear, moaning out the same pleasure Alex feels in every part of his body.

“Are you close?” Aaron whispers after some time, his hips starting to speed up. 

“Yes,” Alex chokes out, arching off the mattress so that he can rub against Aaron. He’s already so, so close. But in his defense, it’s been a while. “Just keep going, please, please, please.” Alex is babbling, but he doesn’t care. “You feel so good.”

Aaron starts to laugh, but the noise is interrupted by a sharp gasp as he twists his hips in a way that practically has Alex seeing stars. “You feel…you’re so…” Aaron moans low in his throat, the most beautiful noise Alex has ever heard, and then Aaron’s snapping his hips against Alex, and everything becomes hot and loud and slick with sweat.

“Aaron,” Alex gasps out, trying to press their bodies even closer together, and he manages to get a hand between their bodies to touch himself. “You’re gonna make me come, I’m gonna come. God. Aaron!” Alex’s voice cracks on his last utterance of Aaron’s name, and then his toes are curling and he cries out loudly as he feels his cock jerk, cum landing on his chest. “Fuck!”

“Alexander,” Aaron murmurs, his hips still moving, long, deep thrusts that are jolting Alex against the bed. “You sound so good, so good for me.” His breath starts to come in short pants, and after one, two, three more thrusts, Aaron’s hips still against Alex, grinding into him as he comes with a broken moan. 

He drops his weight completely onto Alex for a moment, pressing their mouths together in a clumsy kiss that Alex returns as best he can. And then Aaron shifts, pressing another kiss to Alex’s cheek, and then his shoulder, and then he’s carefully pulling out and rolling off of him.

Alex takes a few more moments to come back down from his orgasm, his eyes closed as he focuses on steadying his breathing. He can hear Aaron moving around, and then the blankets are being tugged from underneath him, and Alex grumbles but shifts, allowing Aaron to move them off the bed completely. Then there is a warm body sliding beside Alex, pulling him close.

“Fuck,” Alex groans, smiling when Aaron chuckles in response. He cracks his eyes back open to see Aaron already staring back at him. “That was like…wow.” He stretches, moving so he can rest his cheek against Aaron’s chest.

“It was,” Aaron agrees, stroking his fingers along Alex’s arm. “So I didn’t...I mean, are you - “

“I’m great,” Alex assures him, tracing a finger across Aaron’s chest, a thought occurring to him as he does so. And since he's so relaxed with his mind in a post-orgasm haze, he decides to voice that thought. “You put on more muscle since the last time we saw each other.”

“Thank you?”

Alex rolls his eyes. Aaron is going to make him spell it out. “I mean that you look healthier. Before you looked…”

“Tired, I know.” Aaron sighs and shifts a little. “I was still recovering from all the surgeries. I hadn’t been up on my feet for a while.”

Alex frowns at that, not liking the idea of Aaron being so immobile. He moves closer, gasping when his toes touch something cold, and it’s only when Aaron gives an amused little huff that Alex realizes he brushed against his metal leg.

“Cold,” Alex mumbles, and Aaron rolls his eyes before leaning over him to snag a blanket off the ground and draping it over them both, causing Alex to sigh happily, snuggling close again. "So you're okay now?" he asks, doing his best to keep his eyes open as they start to grow heavy. 

"I am."

"Good."

Aaron chuckles softly, arm wrapping around Alex. “You’re about to fall asleep, aren’t you?”

“No,” Alex mumbles, his eyes slipping shut. “Maybe.” He yawns, nuzzling closer to Aaron. “You’re just so goddamn comfortable.” He yawns again, falling silent for a few moments before opening his eyes and tilting his head up so he can blink at Aaron. “Can you stay until morning?” He doesn't want this to be how they part. He wants to talk to Aaron, wants to tell him about how good things are, wants to hear about how Aaron is doing. He wants so much.

“Yes,” Aaron murmurs, giving him a small smile. “I’ll be here.”

“You better be,” Alex tells him, the threat getting lost in the incoherent slur of his words. But sleep is closing in on him, and before he knows it, he’s fast asleep, Aaron’s arms still around him.

-

When he wakes, Alex feels exhaustion deep in his bones, but it’s a good kind of exhaustion, one that makes him feel warm and sated in a way he hasn’t felt in a long time.

He moved at some point in the night to lie on his stomach, and he can feel a hand on his back, fingers tracing small circles on his skin, and Alex hums, arching into the touch as he turns his head, slowly blinking his eyes open.

Aaron is watching him, a small smile on his lips, and he smooths his hand up Alex’s back. palm coming to rest between his shoulder blades.

“What time is it?” Alex asks over a yawn, watching as Aaron shrugs.

“Sun’s just starting to come up.”

That makes Alex groan. “Early.”

Aaron just chuckles, but then his expression sobers. “I have to go soon."

That makes Alex wake up a little more, and he stares at Aaron for a while without speaking, shivering slightly when Aaron's hand slides further down his back. "You can't stay a little longer?"

Aaron sighs, and then he shakes his head."I don’t want to risk being seen by a member of your crew.”

“Especially John,” Alex says, rubbing at his eyes. “He might shoot you on the spot.”

“I’d like to see him try.”

Alex snorts. He pushes himself up slightly, staring down at Aaron before bending down to kiss him. “Well, I would _not_ like to see him try, so, go find your pants.” He pulls away and swings his legs over the side of the bed, groaning a little at the ache in his muscles.

But he forces himself to stand, gathering his own clothes and pulling them on piece by piece. As he shrugs his jacket back on, he turns back towards the bed, halting his movements when he sees Aaron still laying on the bed, watching him.

Alex’s face heats at the attention, but he smiles, and after a beat, Aaron smiles back, finally pushing the blanket back and moving from the bed and over to Alex.

“I changed my mind about you finding your pants,” Alex says as he watches Aaron approach, eyes trailing over him, but Aaron just laughs.

“We don’t have time for a round two.”

“What about time to talk?”

Aaron pauses where he’d bent down to grab his clothes, and he glances up at Alex. “What did you want to talk about?”

Alex shrugs, scratching at the back of his neck. “I don’t know. I just… miss you.” He watches Aaron look away, watches him pull on his pants, watches him avoid answering. “Don’t get me wrong. Last night was, you know, great, but I don’t want you to think that’s all I wanted.”

“I know that,” Aaron tells him as he ties his boots. “I don’t think that about you.”

“And _I_ know you can’t stay,” Alex continues. “I just wish…”

“I know,” Aaron says, now buttoning his jacket over his shirt. “But you’re right. I can’t stay. I can’t join your crew. And I asked you to join mine, but you said -”

“Because I can’t join yours either!” Alex cuts in, a small spark of anger running through him at the insinuation. “You know it’s not that simple. Don’t put this all on me!”

Aaron stares at him for a moment before dipping his head into a nod. Then he moves forward, leaning in to press a kiss to the corner of Alex’s mouth.

“Sorry,” he murmurs, a hand coming up to rest against the side of Alex’s neck, thumb running over his jaw. “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. None of this is your fault.”

A laugh escapes Alex, and he shakes his head, leaning into Aaron’s touch as all of his anger leaves him just as quickly as it came. “It’s not yours, either.” Alex narrows his eyes when Aaron looks skeptical. “It’s not!”

“I’m a pirate, Alexander. No one is expecting you to join me. I’m most at fault.”

Alex just laughs again. “Aaron, I’m literally doing the same thing as you. I’m… I’m captain of a ship chasing after treasure and fighting people who try to get there first. The only difference is that somehow it’s legal for me to do it because I’m wearing this uniform.”

Aaron stares at him, and then his eyes drop to his clothing, giving a small shrug of his shoulders. “The way of the world,” he says with a wry smile. “There’s nothing you can do about it.”

Alex purses his lips. “I can do _anything_ if I put my mind to it,” he says, smiling when Aaron looks back up at him. “I mean, I’ve been keeping my promise, haven’t I? To be careful and not take unnecessary risks?”

Aaron raises his eyebrows, moving both hands to rest on Alex’s hips. “You have, that’s true.”

“Are you impressed?”

“Very.”

“And even with my reputation growing, there hasn’t been much danger. In fact, I think the danger is lessening.” Alex loops his arms around Aaron’s neck. “There was supposed to be two pirate crews after us on this mission, but one must have decided not to go. My reputation scared them off, probably.”

“No doubt,” Aaron says, looking amused, as if he thinks otherwise, and Alex is about to ask him if he does when Aaron moves in quickly, kissing Alex with unexpected force.

Alex lets out a surprised sound, but he allows Aaron to walk him backwards until he feels the table pressed against the backs of his thighs.  The kiss deepens, and Alex feels Aaron’s hands leave his hips as he braces himself on the table, pressing against Alex so that they’re touching almost everywhere, and Alex shudders at the contact.

The kiss goes on for a few more glorious seconds, but then Aaron is pulling back, eye glowing a soft gold as he smiles at Alex.

“Keep being safe,” he murmurs. “Don’t get cocky.”

“Me? Cocky? Never.”

Aaron snorts, but there’s a fond look on his face as he takes a step back, hands shoving into the pocket of his pants, as if he’s tempted to reach for Alex again. Because Alex knows he’s tempted to reach out for Aaron.

“You’re not gonna disappear on me, right?” Alex asks. “I mean, you’ll come visit again?”

“I will.”

“When?”

“Sooner than you think, probably.”

That makes Alex grin. “Good. Because I meant what I said before. A year and a half was still too long.”

“Well then how does a month sound?”

He blinks at that, not having expected to get an actual date. “Really?” Alex can’t keep the surprise from his voice. “I mean, yes, that sounds great, but how will you find me?”

Aaron snorts. “Alexander, I’ve spent most of my life tracking people down. I’m very good at it.”

“Who’s cocky now?”

Aaron shakes his head, a smile on his face. “A month,” he repeats. “I’ll be here. And I’ll try to time it so we have more time to catch up.” He pauses for a moment, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Because I think you know that I want more than just what happened last night, too.”

The confession itself isn’t surprising to Alex, but he _is_ surprised that Aaron actually voiced it out loud.

“I do know that,” Alex says, glad that they’re on the same page, something they were never able to reach back when they first met. The circumstances made that pretty much impossible. “So… next month, then.”

“Next month.”

“I look forward to it.”

Aaron rocks forward on his toes, as if he’s going to move towards Alex again, but then he rocks back, and he nods at Alex before turning and walking over to the door, opening it and slipping out without another word.

And Alex stares at the closed door for a few seconds, letting out a long sigh. He forces himself to turn away, to stare down at the table, to focus on the fact that it'll just be another month.  His eyes are drawn to the open treasure chest sitting on top of it, and his brows draw together as he looks closer. 

Two of the sapphires that had sat on top of the gold are missing. 

Alex wracks his brain, going back to how Aaron had pressed him against the table, and how he’d shoved his hands into his pockets after.

“Fucking pirates,” Alex mutters, but he’s fighting back a smile.

He shuts the chest and turns his attention to the papers and letters that had gotten pushed into an unruly pile from when Aaron had lifted Alex onto the table last night. Alex starts to sort through them, pausing when his eye catches on a letter he had started a few days ago, stomach churning with guilt when he reads the only words written on the page so far.

_ My Dearest, Angelica, _

Alex stares at those three words, cursing himself and the universe for the situation he’s in, having forgotten about it in the whirlwind of events that had just happened.  He hadn’t thought that things would get so complicated, so messy. He’d had doubts that Aaron would even show up again, that he’d come find him, that they’d - 

Alex looks over at the bed, at the rumpled up sheets, and he shuts his eyes, trying to block it all out as he thinks.

Thinking back on it, he had broken his promise to Aaron. He _isn’t_ being careful, he _is_ taking unnecessary risks. And they’re all in connection to Aaron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smh, Alex. Smh. But all is not as it seems, I promise.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation! Leave them here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies :D


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)
> 
> Also, smut at the beginning, just so you know.

Six months pass, and Alex has secured three more bouts of treasure, the most recent of which being the treasure he found just one day ago. They’re on the return trip home, and Alex, as seems to be his newfound pattern on these voyages, finds himself pressed up against Aaron, their bare skin slick with sweat. 

Aaron is reclining with his back against the headboard of the bed, eyes latched on Alex as he rides him with achingly slow movements. Movements that Alex keeps trying to speed up only to have Aaron slow him back down again.

“C’mon,” Alex pants, refocusing his grip on the headboard behind Aaron and groaning when Aaron shifts his hips up just a little, filling Alex even more. “Let me - “

“Slow,” Aaron murmurs, his hands sliding up Alex’s back and then down again, settling on his hips. “Go slow.”

Alex wants to complain, but then Aaron is guiding him up, and Alex’s breath hitches in his throat as he sinks back down seconds later, the backs of his thighs touching the tops of Aaron’s. Alex repeats the motion, keeps it slow as per Aaron’s instruction. The pace forces him to feel every drag of Aaron inside of him, and Alex shudders at how good it is.

They rock against each other at the same, slow speed for what feels like an eternity. There’s sweat at Alex’s temple and the nape of his neck, and even his grip on the headboard is slippery because of the sweat on his palms.

“Aaron.” Alex’s voice cracks on his name, but he’s too desperate to care. “Please. I can make you feel so good. Please. I - “ He cuts off when Aaron laughs, is about to make an angry retort when Aaron stop him with a kiss.

“I already feel good,” Aaron whispers against his mouth, lips sliding across Alex’s jaw. “I like it like this.” He guides Alex up again, but pulls him down a little harder, their skin slapping against each other, and Alex lets out a punched out breath at the sensation that runs through him. “You feel so good,” Aaron tells him, teeth scraping across his neck as Alex rocks up into him. “So, so good.”

Alex clenches his muscles as he sinks down, smiling at the noise that pulls from Aaron. He does it again, and then again, satisfaction flowing through him each time Aaron’s hips twitch up against him. He’s going to get what he wants. He always does.

Using the headboard for leverage, Alex rolls his hips down hard, and Aaron lifts his head, their eyes meeting as Alex raises himself up slowly, thighs shaking with the effort. He leans in to nip at Aaron’s lip, not breaking eye contact as he lowers himself back down on Aaron’s cock, grinding against him once they’re pressed fully together.

Aaron shifts position suddenly, his legs bending at the knees and spreading slightly. He pulls partway out of Alex before thrusting in once, and hard, causing Alex’s eyes to roll back. “Go on,” Aaron tells him, one handing moving to slide up Alex’s chest. “Do it how you want to.”

Alex whimpers at the words, but he kisses Aaron again, a silent thank you before he does as he’s been told.

His thighs start to burn within seconds, but that ache is nothing compared to the pleasure he feels at finally, _finally_ getting Aaron’s cock to nudge against his prostate. Alex’s chases that feeling, rides Aaron so hard that the bed is creaking dangerously, but even that Alex can barely hear over the rush in his ears.

“Fuck,” he moans, the word drawn out and hoarse. “Fuck, Aaron. Just like that. Oh, my god. Please, please, please.”

“Are you close?” Aaron asks, and Alex is happy to hear how strained his voice comes out.

“Yes. Just let me - “ He unclenches one hand from the headboard, intending to wrap it around his own cock, but Aaron stops him. “Aaron. _Please_.”

“I’ve got you,” is all Aaron tells him, placing Alex’s hand back on the headboard. “Just hold on a little longer. I’m gonna make you feel so good.” His hands settle back on Alex’s hips, halting his movements and causing Alex to whine.

But then Aaron is moving, thrusting up into Alex and fucking him so good that Alex can’t even speak. All he can do is hold on to the headboard for dear life, moaning out his appreciation. And then a hand is touching him, jerking him off in quick movements. A thumb runs over the head of his cock, rubbing over the slit, and Alex is lost, coming in pulses over Aaron’s hand with a cry.

His whole body seizes up as he comes, vision going fuzzy as he slumps down against Aaron. “Don’t stop,” he slurs, arms dropping to hang across Aaron’s shoulder. “Don’t stop, don’t stop.”

And Aaron, to his credit, doesn’t.

He keeps fucking into him, chasing his own pleasure, and if Alex were still a teenager, he has no doubt that he would already be hard again from how Aaron is manhandling him - holding up his weight and pulling Alex down to meet his thrusts.

Aaron’s hips start to stutter in their rhythm, and Alex manages to pull away from where he’s pressed against Aaron’s neck, wanting to watch. Aaron is always quiet when he comes, but he always looks so good. And this time is no different. He throws his head back, lips parting on a shaky exhale, and his eyes slip shut as he slams into Alex one more time before going still, his hips jerking in small movements against him as he comes.

Then everything is quiet except for the sound of their breathing, and Alex shifts, intending to move off of Aaron, but Aaron stops him and coaxes him into a gentle kiss instead, his thumbs rubbing small circles against Alex’s thighs, making Alex melt even more against him. Eventually, though, Alex has to move, and with Aaron’s help, he’s lifted off of him and flops down onto the bed with a groan.

“My legs are jello,” he mumbles. “My whole body is jello. Thoroughly-fucked jello.”

Aaron just laughs, the sound fond, and then he’s slipping off the bed, ignoring Alex’s protests as he does. So Alex just presses his face into the pillow and yawns, doing his best to stretch out his aching limbs.

Time passes in a fog, Alex slipping in and out of sleep, but then there’s a hand on his back, getting his attention. 

“I can’t go again,” Alex mumbles, registering Aaron’s answering laugh in the back of his mind. “What are you doing?” he asks when Aaron gets his arms under and around him.

“I ran you a bath,” Aaron tells him, lifting him off the bed, laughing again when Alex croons out his delight.

“You, Aaron Burr, are a beautiful man.”

Aaron carries him all the way to the tub, and Alex groans when he’s lowered into the hot water, and he stretches out so he’s completely submerged except for his head, turning it so he can peer over at Aaron, who’s kneeling at the edge of the tub, watching him fondly.

“Can’t you come in?”

Aaron smiles at him. “Sorry, tub isn’t big enough for two.”

Humming, Alex lifts a hand out of the tub and reaches for Aaron, lacing their fingers together. “I like you being here.” When Aaron arches a brow, Alex rolls his eyes. “Not just for the sex,” he says, and Aaron smirks. “I mean I like _seeing_ you.”

“I know what you meant.”

Alex frowns a little, and he tugs at Aaron’s hand. “And?”

Aaron looks confused, but then his expression clears, and he squeezes Alex’s hand. “You know I like seeing you.”

Alex can’t keep back the smug smile that spreads across his face, and Aaron laughs at him, but then raises Alex’s hand so that he can press a kiss to the back of it, and Alex has to fight to keep his smile from slipping, because guilt starts to churn in his gut at the gesture.

Aaron has been doing things like that more and more lately. Nice things. Intimate things. _Romantic_ things. And every time, Alex’s whole body heats, because it’s always unexpected and it’s always so _nice_ , and it always leaves Alex feeling worse and worse.

He still hasn’t told Aaron about the agreement between him and Angelica. He’s had plenty of opportunities to, but he’s always too nervous, and then they’re falling into bed together and Alex can’t really think about anything else. It’s only once his post-orgasm state of mind clears that the guilt builds and he has an internal battle with himself over whether or not to bring it up.

“Alexander?” Aaron says his name gently, and when Alex looks over at him, he’s staring back with slight concern on his face. “Are you okay?”

Alex swallows at the question, knowing that he needs to tell Aaron, that he can’t keep putting it off. But everything is so calm, and Aaron is still holding his hand, and Alex _can’t_.

“I just wish… “ He trails off, not letting himself finish for several reasons. He knows that there’s nothing they can do. They’ve had the conversation. Alex can’t go running off with Aaron, and it’s impossible for Aaron to run off with him. And then there’s all the letters from Angelica that Alex has on his desk, waiting for responses. He doesn’t know how to fix this.

“So where are you off to next?” Aaron asks after a beat, saving Alex from having to finish his sentence, which Alex is grateful for, even though he hates himself for it.

He gives Aaron a tired smile. “Why? Trying to get to the treasure before me?”

Aaron gives him an unimpressed look. “If that’s what I had been trying to do this whole time, you would know, because I’d have the treasure."

“Well then why are you always following me?”

Aaron actually looks embarrassed at the question, and he averts his gaze. “I thought you said you liked seeing me.”

“I do!” Alex sits up slightly, the water splashing around. “I just, you could visit me when I have time off.” Maybe that’s what he needs. He needs to see Aaron away from a ship and have more than one night with him. Then he'd be able to tell him everything. “And I could - “

“I won’t come to your home,” Aaron cuts in, voice firm. “It’s too risky.”

Alex slumps back into the tub, the water reaching all the way up to his chin as he pouts. “But why? Why is it so risky? Who do you have after you?”

Aaron’s jaw goes tight, and Alex narrows his eyes. “That’s not for you to worry about,” Aaron tells him after a moment, and then he’s standing, hand falling from Alex’s grasp. “C’mon, the water must be cold by now.”

Alex watches Aaron walk away with a frown, but he’s too tired, too guilty, to argue with him. Because how can he when he’s keeping secrets from Aaron, too? He thought that, after everything, they’d be done with secrets.

Maybe they should be. Maybe if he’s honest, Aaron will be honest, too. Maybe they’ll be able to figure something out.

Alex carefully stands up and gets out of the bath, grabbing a towel to wrap around himself. When he exits the bathroom, Aaron is gathering his clothing from the floor, and Alex moves to sit on the bed, watching him as his mind starts to move fast.

He just needs to do it. He needs to tell Aaron about Angelica. About the agreement between them. He just needs to say it. He just needs to - 

“I need to tell you something,” Alex gets out, his voice echoing in his ears, and Aaron grunts in response.

“What?”

“I’ve been proposed to.” Alex says the words as fast as he can, chest tightening when he sees Aaron’s motions halt immediately. “Angelica Schuyler, Eliza’s sister, she proposed to me a few months ago. Right after you visited me that first time at the Inn. And before you came back again.” He pauses there, his worry increasing at Aaron’s continued stillness. “I haven’t given an answer yet.”

Aaron’s shoulders twitch, and then he’s suddenly moving again, finishing closing the fastenings of his pants. “Congratulations.”

“It’s not what you think,” Alex continues, panic welling inside of him at Aaron’s distant tone. “We’re not… it’s not romantic. Or sexual. It’s… she’s running for Senator soon and she thinks her image would improve if she was married to a Naval captain and my reputation - “

Aaron laughs, the sound harsh and loud and Alex snaps his mouth shut. “Yeah, you’re reputation,” Aaron murmurs, still not facing him. “It’s a good one.”

“Aaron,” Alex starts, standing up from the bed. Aaron stays turned away from him, and Alex swallows, watching as he throws his shirt on next. “Aaron,” he tries again, his chest growing uncomfortably tight at the sudden coldness he’s receiving. “Please talk to me.”

Aaron’s shoulders rise and fall, and then he’s leaning forward, hands resting against the window sill. A few more seconds of silence pass. “I made you a proposal once,” Aaron murmurs, still staring out the window.

“You did,” Alex agrees slowly, remembering the day in reference. The wind blowing in his hair, Aaron standing in the escape boat, Aaron kissing him.

“You said no.”

Alex exhales. “I did.”

“You  _ keep _ saying no.”

“I know.”

Aaron turns at that, face guarded in a way that makes Alex’s jaw clench. He hates that expression, hasn’t seen it on Aaron in so long. He always seems to be the one who puts it there.

Alex is getting ready to say something, to explain, to say that marrying Angelica doesn’t mean he likes her in that way, that has nothing to do with it. The marriage would just be a show of status, nothing more. It has advantages, of course, for the both of them, but Alex knows neither of them would be happy. At least not as happy as they could be. 

But Aaron steps closer, and Alex’s throat goes dry as the man gets into his space, eyes full of so much emotion that Alex doesn’t have time to decipher any of it before Aaron is pushing past him and making his way towards the door.

“Aaron,” Alex calls, his voice cracking on his name. “Aaron, wait. Don’t…please.” He rushes forward, grabbing on to Aaron’s shirtsleeve, stopping him. “Don’t go. You can’t just go!”

Aaron whirls around to face him, some of his calm mask slipping. “What else am I supposed to do? Tell me, Alexander, what else?”

“I don’t…” Alex swallows, searching for something to say. “I don’t know. But - “

“There’s no other way around this! There’s no clever way out.”

“We could - “

“What? I could keep sneaking onto your ship once you’re married and we can have an affair?” Aaron snorts and pulls his arm from Alex’s grip. “No thanks.”

“No! No, I would never ask you to do that!” 

Aaron stares at him, and then drops his eyes to the ground. “Then what are you asking me to do?”

Alex goes to reach out for him again, but he stops himself. “I don’t know,” he admits softly. He hadn't thought that far ahead.

“Will you say yes?” Aaron asks, not looking  at him. “To the proposal, will you say yes?” 

“I don’t - “

“You should.”

Alex’s lips part at that, and he knows his shock must be clear on his face when Aaron finally looks at him. “What?” How can Aaron say that? _Why_ would he say that?

“It’s a future. It’s something stable, something… “ Aaron trails off with a shrug, but his posture is still tense in a way that betrays the calm tone of his voice. “Something that I can’t give you. What we’re doing, it can’t last. It won’t last.” Aaron shrugs again, the motion casual, but Alex can see the tightness in jaw. “So you should say yes.”

“But… “ Alex blinks, struggling to form a coherent thought, a coherent counter argument. He wants to tell Aaron that he doesn’t care about any of that, that he’d only agreed to the engagement because it was a favor for Angelica, and because she promised him a favor in return. They're just friends. That's all it is.

But before he can say any of that, Aaron leans in, kissing him gently. “Congratulations, Alexander,” he says against his lips, and then he’s pulling away, lingering just a little and Alex goes to chase after him, but Aaron puts a hand on his chest, stopping him.

He looks down at him, expression blank once again, and he nods, moving out of Alex’s space and then going to the door, pulling it open and disappearing to the other side.

And because he doesn’t know what else to do, Alex lets him go.

-

Three months go by, and Alex’s mood seems to get worse with each passing day.

He hasn’t seen Aaron since that night. Two missions have come and gone, and even though Alex had hoped, Aaron never showed after any of them. But that hadn’t stopped Alex from staying up all night just in case.

And he knows that tonight will be no different.

They’d secured another treasure easily. It had probably been one of the easiest missions to date. A report had stated that there would be pirates waiting for them on the island, but there hadn’t been any signs of them anywhere. Alex and his crew had been able to walk right up to the treasure and take it.

“Don’t you think it’s weird?” Kitty asks as her and Alex walk back aboard the ship. “Why do we keep getting such weird reports?”

Alex shrugs, only half paying attention. “No idea. Not my area of expertise.”

“Well someone needs to look into it. All of these false threats… We were told to be prepared for a full out fight but there was no one there. That’s _weird_.”

Alex just shrugs again. As long as the reports don't start telling them there are no threats when there really are threats, he couldn't care less. They're doing fine. 

He knows it’s poor etiquette, but he skips the speech he usually gives to the crew, even stalking past Eliza, who they’d hired on for the trip, intending to go straight to his quarters instead.

“Captain!”

Alex turns back with a frown to see his whole crew staring at him, and Kitty steps forward.

“What are the instruction for the night? Should we depart now, or wait till morning?”

Alex glances around, having forgotten that they had docked the ship at the edge of the island. “We’ll stay the night,” he says after a moment. “Everyone get some rest. We’ll leave at dawn.”

Kitty nods. “Very good, Captain. I’ll hold first watch.”

Alex waves a hand in the air to communicate that he’s fine with that, and then continues on his way to his quarters, wanting nothing more than to be alone so he can feel glum and unhappy with himself in private.

When he steps into his room, Alex tries not to glance around, tries to quell that fleeting flicker of hope that always surges inside of him when he steps into his quarters at the thought that Aaron might be waiting for him. He even holds his breath for a few seconds, straining to hear if there’s the sound of someone else breathing in the room.

But it becomes clear very quickly that he’s alone.

There’s a steady pressure building behind his eyes, and Alex tosses the treasure chest onto his bed before sinking onto the mattress with a sigh, resting his face in his hands.

He hates feeling like this. Hates that he can’t talk about it with anyone. Because what would he say? ‘Hey remember Aaron? I’ve been sleeping with him in secret and now that he knows I might get engaged he dumped me and I miss him but can’t do anything about it’?

“Fuck,” Alex hisses under his breath, and he flops down onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

The worst thing is that he can’t even contact Aaron. He has no idea how to. There’s no one that he can talk to about this. And even if there were, it would all come down to the same matter. There’s no way for them to be together, so what’s the point?

And is that even what Alex wants? Does he want to be with Aaron? As in does he want to be with him forever? It never seemed like a possibility, so he never thought about it. But now that he’s lost Aaron completely, Alex has been thinking about it, and he thinks that maybe that is what he wants. 

Aaron has always been what he’s wanted.

Alex flips onto his stomach and buries his face in his pillow, hoping that a lack of air will make his mind stop spinning in circles, even though that hasn’t managed to happen ever since Aaron left. Alex can’t remember the last time he got a full night of sleep.

Eventually he does manage to get into a state that’s close to sleep, his mind somewhat relaxed even though he’s still aware of his surroundings. But his breathing has steadied out, and the way he has a blanket wrapped around himself almost reminds him of how Aaron feels when he’s next to Alex in bed.

That thought makes Alex curse under his breath, frustrated with himself for not being able to keep his mind from going to Aaron for even a couple of hours. Why is this happening? Why - 

A heavy knock on his door pulls Alex from his languid, sulking state. He sits up, swinging his legs over the mattress, standing up with a groan. Who could be bothering him in the middle of the night? He considers not answering, but a knock sounds through the room again.

Alex grumbles as he makes his way over to the door, pulling it open with a huff. “What can possibly be so important that you deemed it necessary to wake me at such an ungodly hour as – “ he cuts off abruptly, taking in the sight of Aaron standing in front of him, arms crossed over his stomach. 

“I’m sorry,” Aaron says when Alex just stands frozen to the spot, and his voice is soft. “I meant to come sooner. It…it took me longer than I…to get here, it took me…I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Once the initial shock has worn off, Alex blinks at the strange behavior, at the way Aaron’s words are slurring together, the way his eyes seem to be going in and out of focus. “What’s wrong?” he asks, reaching out to steady Aaron, who had started to sway.

“I’m fine,” Aaron assures him, and then his knees buckle, and Alex falls to the floor with him, unable to hold up his weight.

“Aaron,” Alex says, panic starting to settle in over his surprise. He lays Aaron on his back, his mind racing to catch up with what’s happening as Aaron starts to breathe in rough pants, his eyes rapidly searching the space above him. His arms fell to the side after his fall, and when Alex looks down, he sees the knife that’s embedded in Aaron’s stomach, his clothing stained red with blood.

Alex tears his own jacket off, grateful that his hands aren’t shaking even though he can feel panic starting to overwhelm him.

He presses the fabric to Aaron’s stomach as best he can, understanding now why he’d been clutching at it so strangely. “You’re okay,” Alex tells him, his voice echoing even in his own ears. “You’re fine.” He presses down harder, more panic washing over him at the pained sound that leaves Aaron. “Shit. Shit, shit, shit.”

Aaron’s hand grabs at one of Alex’s, drawing his attention to Aaron’s face instead. “I’m sorry,” Aaron says, his voice faint. “I wanted to see you. Needed to see you.” His breath rattles, and a trickle of blood escapes his mouth, staining his lips. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop talking,” Alex tells him, trying to keep calm. “Stop apologizing. Just breathe, okay? Don’t you dare stop breathing.” 

Aaron’s lips quirk up at the command, and his hand tightens momentarily around Alex’s. “I needed to see you,” he repeats, eyes locking on Alex’s, his gaze focused for a second. Then he chokes on his own breath, his body jerking, and his eyes roll back.

“No, no, no, no.” Alex feels tears burning at the corners of his eyes and Aaron’s hand relaxes against his own, slipping away. “No. Dammit, Aaron.” Alex keeps one hand pressed to the wound, fumbling for his pager with the other. “John!” he shouts into it, his voice hoarse. “John! Get to my quarters now! Right now!” He keeps yelling into the device, voice getting louder and louder until he finally hears footsteps.

“Fuck,” a voice says sharply, and Alex stares up at John, who is standing there in shock.

“Please help him,” Alex says. “John…” He stares back down at Aaron, who is now barely breathing. “God, John, please help him. Please don’t let him die, he can’t die. He – “ Alex cuts off when he feels John’s hands pushing his own away, replacing them with his, applying pressure.

“Alex,” John says, his voice taking on a professional tone, demanding but soothing. “I need you to page Lafayette, telling him to bring as much medical supplies as he can carry. Then I need you to shove everything off of your desk. Can you do that?”

Alex takes a moment, but then he nods, paging Lafayette and relaying John’s instructions. Then he leaps to his feet, almost tripping in his haste as he runs over to the table and brushes off papers and pens and miscellaneous items until the surface is clear.

By the time he turns back around, Lafayette is standing in the doorway, his arms full and his eyes wide.

“Gil,” John says, and Lafayette immediately goes over to him. “Lay a clean blanket on the table, and set anything out we’ll need to sterilize. Then we’ll need an IV hooked up. And we’ll need to give him blood. He was smart not to pull the knife out, but he clearly walked too far with the injury. He lost too much blood.”

Alex sways a little as he takes in the news, staring down at Aaron’s motionless body with nausea sweeping over him.

John presses his fingers to Aaron’s wrist and is silent for a few seconds, but then he glances up to see Alex watching. “There’s a pulse,” he tells him, and Alex nods, but that doesn’t do much to calm him down. “Gil, come help me lift him.”

Lafayette pauses what he’s doing and rush over, getting his hands under Aaron’s legs, and then him and John are lifting him up, but Aaron doesn’t wake at the movement, doesn’t even make a sound.

Alex takes a step towards the table, eyes locked on the way Aaron’s arm is hanging limply over the side. He reaches for it, wanting to take his hand, but John stops him.

“Alex.” His voice is gentle, but Alex feels tears starting to slip down his face. “Alex!”

He moves his gaze to John. “He’ll be okay,” he says. “He will.” Alex knows he will. He just needs to hear John say. He needs to know for sure, he needs - 

“I need you to wait outside.”

Alex shakes his head at John’s words. “No, no I’m going to stay.” He looks over John’s shoulder to see Lafayette cutting of Aaron’s jacket and shirt, and there’s blood everywhere. “I’m going to stay,” he says again, the corners of his vision starting to go fuzzy.

“You’ll be a distraction,” John tells him, and he turns away, pulling out a small device to x-ray the area of the wound.

“I won’t be, I - “

“Alex, go.”

“I won’t be a -”

“You’re being a distraction now!” John all but yells, taking a brief moment to glare at Alex over his shoulder. “Go!”

Alex stumbles back, knowing that John is right, but he’s scared of leaving the room, scared of leaving and then coming back in to see Aaron’s body still motionless. But he watches Lafayette inject something into Aaron’s arm, and he watches John grab the tools he’ll need for the surgery, both of their faces lined with concentration.

So he takes another step back, allowing himself one last look at Aaron before he opens the door and steps outside, the fresh air calming him for a moment until he closes the door behind him, and the panic settles right back in.

Alex tries to take a deep breath, but it doesn’t work, and he moves to cover his face, but then he jerks his hands back when he sees the blood that’s covering them.

_Aaron’s_ blood.

Alex steps back and collapses onto the deck, scooting back until he feels the side of the ship against him. He brings his knees up and rests his forehead on them, squeezing his eyes shut to try and block it all out.  And then he does the only thing he can do.

He waits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't y'all just love a good cliffhanger? :D
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation! Leave them here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies!


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a bit!
> 
> Enjoy x

Alex doesn’t know how long he sits there, curled in on himself and trying to focus on his breathing. He blocks everything else out. And that’s why he doesn’t hear footsteps approaching until someone is right next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Alex?” 

He jerks away from the touch, lifting his head to see Eliza standing there, staring down at him with wide eyes.

“What happened? What are you - is that _blood_?”

Alex peers down at his hands, sees the red that’s still staining them, and his stomach gives a violent lurch.

“Alex… “ Eliza kneels in front of him, her expression cautious. “Are you okay?”

He can’t hold back the laugh that escapes him. Is _he_ okay? He’s not the one bleeding out on a table, he’s not the one who got stabbed, he’s not - 

“Alex!”

“It’s Aaron,” he blurts out, and then the words start coming fast. “He got hurt. Stabbed. I… I don’t know how. But he showed up and - and there was blood and he just… so I called for John and Laf. They’re in there now.”

Eliza’s expression flickers to surprise, and then confusion. “Aaron just showed up? After all this time? But… but why?”

Alex laughs again, shaking his head. “He… this isn’t the first time. We’ve been seeing each other.” He swallows after he says that, not chancing a look at Eliza, knowing that she knows about the agreement between him and Angelica, knowing that she'll judge him for this. “Ever since I became a captain, I’ve been seeing him on and off.”

Eliza is quiet for a long time, and then she is moving to sit beside him, a hand coming to rest on top of his leg. “Is he… “

“I don’t know,” Alex says quickly, not wanting to hear the question in full. “I don’t know.”

Eliza nods, and she squeezes his knee, and then they both fall silent, sitting and waiting together.

Alex doesn’t know how much time goes by. It might be an hour. Two hours. Maybe even more. But eventually the door to his room opens, and he looks up to see John emerging, wiping his hands on a cloth.

“How is he?” Alex asks as he stands. “How bad is it?”

John doesn’t look at him, not right away. Just keeps wiping his hands. Then he takes a deep breath, making eye contact. “I think we need to call for Bellamy and Maria.”

Alex’s stomach sinks with a sickly feeling. “What? Why?”

John looks at him for a beat, and then stares down at the deck. “Because they should be here in case things take a turn for the worse.”

For a moment, the whole world spins, and Alex has to close his eyes. He feels numb, feels himself stumble, feels hands catching him, hears voices talking to him, but none of it makes sense. When he re-opens his eyes, his hands are braced on the side of the ship, and Eliza is beside him.

“Alex.” She says his name with so much sympathy, so much _pity_ , that Alex can’t handle it. He can’t handle it because it means she thinks Aaron is going to die too.

“He won’t die,” Alex says. “He won’t.” He turns back to look over at John. “What’s wrong with him?”

“The blood loss was extensive, and the wound itself is… bad, for lack of a better technical term. The knife was curved, and it went deep. He’s stable right now, but critical.”

“Stable but critical,” Alex repeats, hating how the words taste on his tongue. “What does that even mean?”

“It means we got him stable, and things shouldn’t change in the short term, but there’s a chance. There's always a chance.” John shrugs. “So we need to call for Bellamy and Maria. They’re his family.”

Alex swallows, and then swallows again. He clenches his hands and pushes away from the side of the ship. “We’ll send up a flare.”

“But how do we know they’re even here?” Eliza asks.

“They’re his family,” Alex says, repeating John’s words from earlier. “They’re here.”

It takes a few minutes to find a flare, and then Alex is shooting it up into the sky, watching as the red color explodes, and he has to look away.

“You should go see him,” John tells him. “We’ll wait for Bellamy and Maria to come.”

Alex wants to say no. He feels like going to see Aaron is like going to say goodbye. And he refuses to do that. Because Aaron is going to be _fine_.

But he still turns and makes his way back to his quarters, slipping into the room and pausing when he sees Lafayette cleaning up the table. He turns when Alex enters, and murmurs a greeting.

“Here,” he says next, tossing a wet towel at Alex. “For your hands.”

Alex immediately scrubs at his hands, refusing to look over at his bed, where he can see the faint outline of Aaron from the corner of his eye. “Thanks.”

Lafayette walks over to him and lays a heavy hand on his shoulder. “I will leave you alone with him,” he murmurs, and Alex almost tells him to stay, to not leave him alone with Aaron looking so small, but Laf is too quick, slipping out of the room before Alex can open his mouth.

Alex finishes cleaning off his hands, and then tosses the towel onto the table, taking a few steadying breaths before turning to face the bed.

Aaron is lying on his back, hands at his sides, and there are IV’s hooked to machines and there’s a faint beeping echoing through the room, and Alex immediately feels queasy, but he takes a few shaking steps closer.  He brushes his fingers over Aaron’s forehead, calmed somewhat by the fact that his skin doesn’t feel hot with fever.

“What did you do?” Alex whispers, keeping his hand on Aaron’s head. “What were you thinking?” He swallows hard, blinks back the tears threatening to fall. Before he can say anything else, the door is opening, and John, Laf, and Eliza are walking in, Bellamy and Maria behind them.

They look almost the same, even though it's been almost five years since Alex last saw them. Maria looks thinner, more tired, and Bellamy has a fading scar across his face. But other than that, it’s like no time has passed at all.

They both push past everyone else, and Alex moves out of the way so that they can stand in front of the bed, both of their postures tense.

“What happened?” Bellamy asks after a moment, his voice steady, but there’s something in his tone that makes Alex fidget.

“He just showed up,” Alex starts to explain. “It was late. He was acting weird and holding his stomach and he wasn’t making any sense and then he just fell and that’s when I saw the knife in his stomach and there wasn’t anything I could do so I - “

Bellamy turns suddenly, motions so fast that Alex barely has time to blink before a fist is connecting with his jaw. The impact sends Alex stumbling back, his head twisting to the side and he swears he hears a crack.

There’s commotion around him, but for a moment all Alex can focus on is the pain in his jaw, and he opens and closes his mouth a few times, wincing. When he finally looks back up, he sees that Eliza had stepped in front of him, blocking him from Bellamy, and Lafayette has an arm around John, holding him back. Maria hasn’t moved, and is still staring down at Aaron.

“What the fuck was that for?” John spits out, looking livid.

“John,” Alex starts, already exhausted by all of this. “Don’t, it’s - “

“It’s what? Fine? That wasn’t _fine_! He punched you for no reason!”

That makes Bellamy snort. “Oh, believe me, there’s a reason.” He points a finger at Alex. “All of this is your fault. Aaron wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for you. All of this - “ he gestures at Aaron “ - is because of _you_!”

“How is this my fault?” Alex shouts back. “I didn’t ask Aaron to come here! I didn’t even _know_ he’d be here. Don’t put this on me!”

Bellamy just laughs, and the sound is sharp and angry. “You know, when everything happened all those years ago, when you didn’t realize who we were, who Aaron was, I thought maybe we really were just that good at hiding it. But looking back, I know that’s not true.” He sneers at Alex. “Now I know that you were just so blind to it all because of how self-obsessed you are.”

There’s silence after that, and Alex’s hand freezes where it’s massaging his jaw, and he can only blink at Bellamy for a few seconds. “What are you talking about?”

“Aaron’s been protecting you,” Maria says softly from where she’s standing, her gaze finally moving to Alex, and her eyes are red. “It’s all he’s been doing since he recovered from what Jefferson did to him.”

“But - “

“Even after you tossed him aside like he was nothing,” Bellamy continues before Alex can speak, “he still protected you. He still followed you and made sure you were safe.”

“What does that mean?” Eliza asks. “How was he making sure Alex was safe?”

“The reports,” Alex murmurs, realization dawning on him, and something akin to dread settling in his stomach. “We’ve had all these reports of pirates coming after us, but it was never as bad as they said.”

“We’ve been intercepting them,” Maria explains, and Alex can only stare at her. “We all agreed to do it. After all of you getting hurt because of us, it felt like we had to. Even when things started getting more dangerous, we kept going.”

“But then he came back that one morning,” Bellamy says, and he fixes Alex with a look. “He wouldn’t tell us all the details, but I got the gist of it. You’ve been using him. He’s been risking his life for you, and you’ve just been treating him like shit.”

“That’s not - “

“Look at him!” Bellamy shouts, his voice rising, and he points to where Aaron is lying. “He could _die_ tonight! He could die tonight because we came to this stupid island and we fought the pirates that were waiting for you, and Aaron got stabbed because of that, because of you!”

“I didn’t ask him to do that,” Alex says, but his voice is shaky, and the words barely make it out before Bellamy is taking a step towards him.

“Are you really this stupid?” he hisses. “You think Aaron would only do this if you _asked_? He knew you would tell him not to. But he doesn’t fucking care, because he cares about you! He’s doing this for you! So this is on you!”

“That’s not fair,” Alex says back, because he can’t think that this is all his fault. He can’t be responsible for Aaron dying. “I didn’t ask for this, I didn’t tell him to follow me! I thought he was going to find a new dream to chase, that’s what he kept telling me! I wanted him to find one!”

“What makes you think he didn’t?”

That makes Alex snap his mouth shut, the motion causing his jaw twinge in pain, but that’s nothing compared to the way his heart aches in his chest, because he can’t deal with this, he can’t. He can’t listen to Bellamy say that when Aaron is still lying there not moving. 

“I know you didn’t ask him to do this,” Bellamy says. “But it happened. And it happened because of you. So if he dies… “ Bellamy trails off, his jaw clenching, nostrils flaring. “If he dies, you won’t make it off this ship.”

John steps forward, fury clear on his face, but Alex holds his hands up in what he hopes is a placating gesture, but he can feel them shaking slightly.

“Don’t, John. Everyone’s just… upset.” He sighs when Bellamy snorts at the word choice, and he scrubs a hand over his face, trying to think  of where to go from here, but his mind is sluggish and overactive at the same time, making him dizzy and unfocused. Luckily, Maria speaks up, saving him from having to say anything.

“Can Aaron be moved?”

Lafayette makes a hard sound in his throat. “I would not recommend it. His condition is… precarious. And moving him so soon after surgery would not benefit him in any way.”

“Well we need to take him,” Bellamy says, eyes latched on Aaron. “We know people, better surgeons who can help him. We need to get him to our ship and then - “

“Are you listening?” John interjects, voice laced with anger. “He can’t be moved so soon! And even if moving him was okay, he won’t survive a long journey to wherever you want to take him. Not without a trained doctor on board with you in case anything happens.”

Bellamy’s gaze slowly moves over to John. “I am listening,” he says, tone casual, but the way he shifts his weight and turns to stare at John makes Alex uneasy. “And I have to say I agree with you. So we’ll be taking a trained doctor with us, per your suggestion.”

Alex barely has time to blink before Bellamy is lunging forward, grabbing at Lafayette and pressing a gun to his head.

John cries out, and Eliza’s hands fly to cover her mouth, and Alex tries to take a steadying breath, tries to get control of his nerves.

“Bellamy,” he murmurs, taking a small step toward him. “You don’t need to do this. We’re on your side.”

Bellamy scoffs, but Alex can see the panic and the fear on his face. “You’ve never been on our side. Especially not now. You’re part of the Royal Navy, Alex. I’ve lost friends to them. I’ve had to run from them most of my life.”

“But I’m not them,” Alex says weakly. “Bellamy, please. Don’t do this. We can come to an agreement.” He knows that he just needs to calm Bellamy down.

“The agreement is that I’ll return Lafayette to you once Aaron is healthy.”

“Not an option,” John snarls, and then he’s pulling his own gun out, and Alex’s pulse skyrockets. “Let him go!”

“John,” Alex starts, but Bellamy interrupts him.

“I’d like to see you try,” he shouts. “You think you’re a threat? You think you’re a better shot than me?”

“I think I’ll kill you where you stand if you don’t let him go!”

“Stop it!” Alex yells, trying to step between them, but John shoves him out of the way.

“Let him go!”

“Bellamy…”

“I’m taking Lafayette with us. You’ll get him back, you’ll - “

“Bellamy!”

They all stop talking, the room going eerily silent, and then Bellamy is turning, and Alex follows his gaze, and his heart stops for a second when he sees Aaron with his head turned towards all of them, eyes half open.

“Bellamy,” he murmurs again, voice softer than Alex has ever heard it. 

After another moment, Bellamy lowers his gun and moves away from Lafayette, almost stumbling over his own feet as he goes over to Aaron, dropping to his knees beside the bed.

“Hey,” Bellamy says, and Alex can hear the way he’s holding back tears. “How are you feeling?”

“Shitty.”

Bellamy laughs. “Well you were an idiot, having us split up like that.”

“‘m sorry,” Aaron mutters, words already starting to slur. There’s a stretch where he says nothing, but then Alex sees him shift slightly. “Will you still stay?”

“Stay?”

“With me.”

Bellamy’s hand reaches for Aaron’s. “Of course I will.”

“Maria?”

Alex turns his gaze, watches Maria go over to Aaron as well, resting a hand on Bellamy’s shoulder as she looks down at Aaron.

“I’m here, too.”

“Good,” Aaron whispers, and Alex wishes he could see him, wishes his feet would work so that he could go over as well, but something is keeping him rooted in place. Fear. Guilt. He doesn’t know. “I’m tired.”

“Rest,” Bellamy tells him. “You need rest. We’ll be here. We won’t leave you.”

A few seconds go by, no one saying anything, and Alex watches as Bellamy’s hand tightens on Aaron’s, his head bowing slightly, and then he’s standing, and he turns to face them all, tears visible on his face.

His eyes go to Lafayette, and Alex feels John shift beside him, but then Bellamy is putting his gun back in its holster. It's clear that the fight has left him, and Alex breathes a sigh of relief, because things had been escalating to a point where Alex hadn't been sure what to do. 

“We need to get him to someone who can help. And soon. So…” Bellamy trails off, seeming unable to voice what he wants, but Alex has an idea.

“We’ll take you wherever you need to go,” he says, ignoring John’s angry exclamation. “We’ll transport you. Just give us the directions. And you can both stay with him until we’re there. And…” Now Alex trails off, and he glances over at John and Laf. “And if they’re willing, which I hope they are, John and Lafayette will keep an eye over him until we reach the destination.”

There’s a long pause, and Alex worries that maybe John and Lafayette will refuse, and he doesn’t know what to do if that happens. He can’t force them, and they have good reason to say no, but if they do then - 

“Of course we will help,” Lafayette finally murmurs. “It is our job to help. I would have even agreed to accompany you without all of those threats.”

Bellamy at least has the decency to look ashamed at that, and he nods his head at Lafayette. “Thank you.” The words are begrudging, but they seem sincere.

“We’ll need rest,” John grumbles, which Alex knows is as close to agreeing to help as he’ll get. “Our pagers will be on, obviously, so just contact us if anything changes. He’s on heavy pain medication and is all hooked up, so the machines will beep if something happens.” And with that, John walks forward and grabs Lafayette by the arm, practically dragging the Android out of the room, as if he’s still worried about Bellamy trying to take him.

“Do you have money?” Alex asks. “For the surgery?”

Bellamy shrugs. “We always figure something out.”

Alex stares at Bellamy for a beat, and then he sighs, moving over to where he’d placed the treasure chest all those hours ago. He opens it, staring down at the contents, and then he grabs a handful.

“Take it,” he tells Bellamy, ignoring the wide-eyed look he gets in response. “It’s really not that much. And you need it more, so.”

Bellamy keeps staring, but then his hand shoots out quickly and takes the offered gold. Maybe he was worried Alex would change his mind in the span of a few seconds.

“I… thank you.”

Now Alex shrugs, and he looks over at Eliza, who is watching with a small smile on her face. “Can you get the coordinates of where we need to go from them?” he asks her. “I’m gonna go talk to Kitty and tell her about the change of plans.”

Once Eliza nods, Alex leaves the room, hands shaking a little at his sides now that he’s alone, now that he doesn’t need to hide how scared he still is at the prospect of Aaron dying. But that won’t happen. It can’t happen. He won’t let it happen.

He finds Kitty in her quarters, and from the state of her hair and the way she blinks at him, Alex knows he’d woken her up.

“Sorry,” he says. “But this couldn’t wait until morning. There’s a change of plan. We need to leave now, and we’re re-routing for a quick stop.”

Kitty yawns, but once it passes, she peers at Alex with narrowed eyes. “Re-routing? To where? And why?”

“It’s kind of a long story.”

Kitty arches a brow. “So I’m supposed to relay orders to our crew without knowing the reasons behind them?”

“I know how it sounds,” Alex sys with a wince. “But I...there isn’t time to explain.”

Kitty studies him, her mouth a thin line, but then she nods. “Fine. But I’ll need the full story before we get back. I can’t work with a Captain who keeps secrets.”

A small spark of shame runs through Alex as he realizes just how many secrets he's been keeping. “I know. I don’t want to put you in this position. And I promise I never will again. I just need you to trust me on this. It’s a quick stop, but it’s important. It’s really important and I -”

Kitty reaches out to place a hand on Alex’s arm, and that’s when Alex realizes his voice had been rising in pitch. “You know I trust you,” she murmurs. “So go take care of whatever it is, and I’ll get the crew up.”

Alex lets out a shaky exhale, and he nods. “Eliza will have the new coordinates.”

“Aye aye, Captain.”

Alex laughs at that. The first laugh in what feels like a long time. He nods at Kitty again and then starts to make his way back to his quarters, trying to convince himself that he’s walking slowly because of how tired is, and not because of reluctance.

He’s just so scared of what could happen. What if Aaron doesn’t make it? What if the journey takes too long? And now that he knows this is all apparently his fault, Alex is overwhelmed by guilt.  He stands by the fact that he didn’t ask Aaron to do this, but that doesn’t change the fact that Aaron is still doing this for him. He’s been putting himself in danger for years, risking his life, and all of it to protect Alex and his crew.

“Fuck you,” Alex hisses under his breath, unsure if the words are directed at Aaron or himself. 

When he finally makes it back to his room, Maria has moved so that she’s perched on the edge of the bed, her eyes on Aaron, not even looking up when Alex enters. Bellamy has taken a chair and placed it so that he’s also facing the bed, his elbows resting on his knees, chin propped up by his hands.

Alex hesitates a moment before pulling up a chair of his own, placing it beside Bellamy. There’s only silence at first, but then - 

“Sorry about earlier,” Bellamy says, and his voice doesn’t hold any of the anger or hostility that it had before. He just sounds tired. “I was angry. And in shock. Those two emotions don’t mix well with me.”

“It’s fine.” He manages to smile when Bellamy arches a brow at him. “I mean, okay, it wasn’t fine, but I get it. You were…” he trails off before he says afraid, not sure how Bellamy would react to that. “I get it.”

Bellamy straightens up in his chair, leaning back in it, and he takes a deep breath. “We all split up on the island, taking out random segments of the pirates gathered there. When Aaron didn’t come back, we just assumed he went off to see you, even though he hadn’t the last couple of times. I don’t know. We were stupid to assume that. If we had gone after him, maybe… “

Alex swallows around the lump that’s formed in his throat. “I really didn’t know he was doing this for me. If I’d known, I’d…”

“He wouldn’t have stopped,” Bellamy tells him. “It was something he had to do.”

“But why? Why was he doing it? I… I can understand wanting to protect me or whatever, but there has to be more than that. He was keeping something a secret.” He looks over at Bellamy just in time to see his jaw clench, and for his gaze to meet Maria’s. “Tell me what it was.”

“It’s Jefferson.”

For a moment, Alex can’t make sense of the words Maria just said. But then they register in his mind, and he feels his chest grow cold. “What?”

“He’s back,” she continues. “Has been for a few years. And not only is he back, but he’s been… recruiting.”

“What does that mean?”

“That he’s going to come after you. And us.”

The chill in Alex’s chest spreads through the rest of his body, and for a couple of seconds, he can’t breathe. “But...how? I mean, how do you know this?”

“There have been sightings,” Bellamy says. “And we have good intel. And evidence. We’ve been tracking him, and anyone associated with him. We’ve taken a good amount of his people down, but…” Bellamy shrugs. “There’s a lot of them. Especially since you gave him the reputation of being Silver. People are intimidated by him easily.”

Alex curses, barely restraining himself from slapping a hand to his forehead. Of course he would fuck this up, too. Of course this would all come back to bite him the ass. God, he really hasn’t changed.

“Don’t beat yourself up over it,” Bellamy says, and when Alex glances over, Bellamy is staring at him. “Thomas is scary enough as is, he would have been able to get people on his side even without the name of Silver connected to him. Plus not being associated with Silver gave _us_ more room to sneak around, so, it all evened out.”

Alex snorts, knowing that Bellamy is probably only saying all of this to try and make him feel better. But then he sobers, the direness of the situation sinking in. “How big of a threat is Jefferson right now?”

Bellamy considers the questions for a few moments. “The situation shouldn’t be treated lightly. He’s always a threat, even if we have been taking out his accomplices.” He shares a quick look with Maria. “We’ve been keeping them away from your home, from the Inn.”

Panic flares quick and sharp in Alex’s chest. “You think he’ll target my mom?”

“I wouldn’t put it past him. We stationed some people nearby to keep an eye on her. And when word first go out that Jefferson was back, I took some time to hang around and hide the Inn from his view for a bit. I can’t do it around the clock, but… “ Bellamy shrugs. “It might be best for you to warn your mother. Should probably report it to the Royal Navy, too.”

Alex groans, and he runs his hands over his face. This is all too much to take in. Not only is Jefferson targeting him, targeting his _mom_ , but Aaron, Bellamy, and Maria have been spending years trying to stop Jefferson.

“Why would you agree to help?” Alex asks, lowering his hands. “I know that Aaron…” Alex stops himself, not wanting to think about Aaron’s feelings for him right now. “But why did you two agree to spend years protecting me?”

Maria and Bellamy both chuckle at that, and Bellamy is the first to respond.

“You’re not the only thing on Montressor I want to protect.”

Of course. “Hercules.”

Bellamy hums. “I’d never forgive myself if they got hurt. And knowing them, they’d do something noble and get themselves killed.”

“Besides that,” Maria breaks in, “we can’t just let Jefferson roam around. He’s dangerous. And he’s hunting us, too. He hates Aaron more than anyone, and we’re certain that his plan centers around hurting everyone Aaron cares about before finally killing him.”

“We’re family,” Bellamy says, his voice firm. “And we won’t let that happen.” He peers over at Alex. “And I guess we kind of like you, too, so helping protect you was part of the deal.”

Alex manages a smile at that, and then a thought occurs to him. “That’s why Aaron never wanted to come visit me when I was one leave,” he murmurs. “He didn’t want anyone to follow him.”

Bellamy hums. “We figured it’d be too dangerous. In fact, him sneaking onto your ship was dangerous, but he couldn’t seem to help himself.” Bellamy’s gaze turns hard. “And in the end you were just stringing him along.”

Alex flinches at that. “I was not!”

“He told us about the engagement, about - “

“It’s not a real engagement!” Alex yells, and then he takes a deep breath, peering over to see if his outburst woke Aaron. When he sees that it didn’t, he turns his attention back to Bellamy. “Or not in the way you think. It’s...I tried explaining it!”

“Try harder.”

“It’s a favor,” Alex starts. “Angelica wants to be senator, and her chances would improve if she had ties to someone like me. I’m...popular.” He feels stupid for saying it, but it’s true. “She approached me about it right after I graduated. She said she knew I’d make a name for myself, and that our marriage would be a connection that could benefit us both. It’s not...we’re not in love.”

Bellamy blinks at him, not looking entirely convinced. “But why would you agree to that?”

Alex breathes out through his nose, trying to piece his thoughts together in a coherent way. “I didn’t agree straight away. I had to think about it. Especially since Aaron had just visited me after three years. Angelica brought the whole thing up the day after that. And I… it was good seeing him again, but it… I didn’t know when I’d see him again. And everything was still so - “ He waves a hand vaguely in the air - “complicated between us. So after thinking on it, I told Angelica yes.”

“Because you thought you and Aaron never had a chance?”

“Yeah,” he admits lowly. “I mean we… we kind of talked about it. I couldn’t go with him, and he couldn’t come with me, so it… it never seemed like it was in the cards. And I didn’t know how much he… “ Alex trails off awkwardly, feeling stupid, because how could he have doubted how much Aaron cared about him? “Anyway, it’s too late now.”

“There has to be more to it than that,” Bellamy says after a beat. “No offense, but I can’t see you agreeing to the engagement unless there was something in it for you.”

Alex takes a deep breath, weighing his words before saying them. “Angelica is Eliza’s sister, right? So she knows the whole story about what happened on Treasure Planet. She promised that once she was Senator, she’d launch an investigation into the Royal Navy’s handling of the Hanover case, and everything to do with Aaron’s parents. She promised she would reveal everything to the public, and any other secrets the Royal Navy is hiding.”

There’s a loaded silence after that, and Alex stares down at his hands, not wanting to see Maria and Bellamy’s reactions. 

“Holy fuck,” Bellamy whispers, and that makes Alex look over at him, and then Maria, who is fighting back a smile.

“You and Aaron are so alike,” she says, shaking her head. “All this double agent shit. It’s exhausting.”

“I’m not a double agent, I - “

“You joined the Royal Navy and you’re going to bring it down from the inside,” Bellamy says, and he starts to laugh. “Huge respect, man.”

Alex shrugs a shoulder, face flushing a little. “Yeah, well…”

“Why didn’t you tell him?” Maria asks, nodding in Aaron’s direction.

Alex snorts. “Probably the same reason he didn’t tell me about what he was doing.”

“Prideful idiots,” Maria grumbles, making Bellamy chuckle. “I’m serious. You’re both so stupid. You better tell him the truth when he wakes up. He’s been moping for months.”

Those words make something heavy settle in Alex’s stomach, and he fidgets in his chair, thinking. “I know I should have told him about the engagement sooner,” he finally settles on saying. “But I knew it would change things. And I was selfish.”

“Another thing you two have in common.”

Alex’s mouth quirks up into a small smile, and he shakes his head. “Everything you two told me tonight proves Aaron is the least selfish person out there.”

All three of them fall silent after that, and through some spoken agreement, the conversation ends, each of them focusing on their own thoughts. It doesn’t take long for both Maria and Bellamy to drift off to sleep, Maria leaning against the wall and Bellamy slouching in his chair.

Alex, however, can’t sleep. His mind is too full of the information he learned tonight to shut off. He’s angry, and he’s scared, and he’s guilty and it’s all too much and it’s making him want to scream.

He should have known that Aaron was following him for a reason. No, not following, chasing him. He’s been chasing after Alex. That’s what Bellamy had told him. And Alex had been so stupid to assume that Aaron was trying to go after the treasure, or only showing up to spend one night with Alex every couple of months. Everything he’s done or thought has been so, so stupid.

There’s a soft shifting sound, a quiet murmur, and Alex’s head snaps up to see Aaron moving on the bed, eyes blinking open slowly.

Alex scoots his chair over to the bed, leaning in. “Aaron?”

He turns his face towards Alex, eyes half open, and he hums. “Alexander?”

“Yeah,” Alex whispers, trying to smile. “Hey. How… how are you feeling?”

Aaron’s brow furrows, as if he’s trying to figure that out himself. His hand goes to his stomach, hovering over his wound, and Alex reaches out to stop him from touching it.

“Leave it,” Alex tells him gently. “You just got stitched up. We’re taking you somewhere you can get more help.”

“You’re coming?” His voice is hopeful, and something inside of Alex twists.

“Part of the way. But Bellamy and Maria will take care of you.”

Aaron nods, and his eyes slip shut, and Alex knows that the pain medication must be making him tired and groggy, so he lets Aaron drift back to sleep, interlacing their fingers and keeping ahold of his hand.

A few minutes later, Aaron blinks his eyes back open, and he just stares at Alex, then his fingers tighten around Alex’s hand.

“Am I dying?”

The question makes Alex’s heart thump painfully against his ribcage. “No. No, you’re okay. We’re going to make sure you’re okay.”

Aaron hums, seemingly unbothered, and he sweeps his thumb across the back of Alex’s hand. “I was making sure you were okay,” he murmurs, eyes closing again, and he smiles. “And you are okay. So it’s okay if… “ he trails off, humming again.

“Nothing’s going to happen to you,” Alex tells him in a shaking voice, but Aaron doesn’t answer, already slipping off to sleep again.

So Alex keeps their hands pressed together the rest of the night, not letting himself fall asleep just in case Aaron awoke again. With his mind coming to the conclusion that their time together was running out, Alex couldn’t let himself miss out on one second of time with Aaron.

-

Morning dawns, but Alex doesn’t realize until there’s a hand on his shoulder, and he jerks in his chair and looks over his shoulder to see Bellamy standing there.

“Did you sleep at all?”

Alex gives a half shake of his head, and shrugs his shoulders. “I’m fine. I just wanted to… “ He looks down at where he’s still holding Aaron’s hand, and he shrugs again. “I figured someone should stay awake just in case.”

It sounds like Bellamy is going to respond, but then there’s a knock at the door, and they both turn to see Lafayette slipping in.

“Ah, good, you are awake. I just want to check on Aaron, and make sure he is stable enough to be moved. We should be arriving very soon.” He steps further in, and Bellamy and Alex move away from the bed, giving him space, and Maria, awake now as well, hops off the mattress and joins them across the room.

They all watch as Lafayette leans over Aaron, unwrapping the bandaging around his stomach.

“I want to ask you both something,” Alex says softly, waiting until both Maria and Bellamy are looking at him to continue. “Don’t tell Aaron what I told you about the engagement. I don’t want him to know.”

“But - “

“It’s better that he doesn’t know. I don’t want him to think he owes me anything. I don’t… I don’t want him following me anymore.” He turns to see Bellamy wince at his words.

“Alex, I - “

“You said it yourself,” Alex continues. “He’s getting hurt because of me. And now that I know, I can’t just let it continue. He’ll need time to recover anyway. So just.... just tell him I’m okay, and that I’m marrying Angelica.”

Bellamy stares at him, and Alex stares back, his gaze defiant, and Bellamy eventually sighs. “Fine. Stubborn asshole.”

“Might make things easier in the long run,” Maria adds. “Especially if we let him know that we told you about Jefferson. He won’t have as big of a reason to watch out for you. Just make sure you up your defenses.”

Bellamy nods in agreement. “We’ll have our hands full with Aaron. We won’t be able to help you.”

“I’ll get protection,” Alex says. “For me and my mom. Don’t worry about it. I - “ He cuts off when Lafayette turns to face them.

“He is much the same as earlier,” he tells them. “Which is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I would consider it a good thing. It should be fine to move him a short distance as long as he receives immediate care. I will fetch a stretcher for him.”

“Thanks,” Bellamy says, and he scratches at the back of his neck. “And uh, sorry about the whole almost kidnapping you thing.” 

“Ah, do not worry. It is already forgotten.” And with a smile, Lafayette exits the room.

“Man,” Bellamy murmurs. “If everyone was as forgiving as him, my life would be so much easier.”

Lafayette returns minutes later with John at his side, and everyone moves forward to help them lift Aaron onto the stretcher. Then they carefully and slowly carry Aaron out onto the deck, each movement painstaking, everyone wary of jostling Aaron too much.

Then Maria and Bellamy are the only ones carrying the stretcher, and Alex peers around, an unfamiliar spaceport surrounding them.

“Where we need to go is close by,” Maria says as she takes a careful step off the ship and onto the dock behind her. “A couple minutes walk. We’ll be fine.”

“Oh!” Bellamy says, stopping suddenly. “Alex, c’mere. Search in my jacket pocket, there’s something I need you to take.”

Alex goes over to him, shoving a hand into his jacket and pulling out an envelope.

“For Herc,” Bellamy explains. “Can you get it to them?”

“Of course. And can you…”

“I’ll send you word about how the surgery goes,” Bellamy promises. “Watch out for yourself, Alex.”

“You, too,” Alex says, and his eyes move to Aaron, and his heart lurches in his chest. This is it. This is goodbye. It _has_ to be goodbye, because Alex can’t risk losing Aaron again. He can’t let Aaron risk his life again. Alex isn’t worth that. “Good luck.”

Bellamy nods at him, and then faces forward, and him and Maria slowly carry Aaron off the ship and then down the dock, getting further and further away, and Alex feels a physical ache with each step they take. It doesn't take long for them to disappear from view. It all happens so fast. Too fast. Alex is already wishing he'd said something more substantial to Aaron. That they'd said goodbye.

But he made the right choice. This is the right choice. This will save Aaron. This - 

“Alex?”

He startles slightly, turning to see Kitty standing beside him, and he scrubs at his face, embarrassed to feel tears on his cheeks.

“Are you…” she pauses for a moment. “How about we go get a drink?”

“What?”

“Let the crew have a free day,” she says, and jerks her head towards the town. “And let me buy you a drink. Or two. Besides, you need to fill me in on everything.”

Alex laughs. “There’s a lot to fill you in on.”

“Fine, three drinks then.”

“I think that’s a brilliant idea,” another voice says, and they both turn to see Eliza walking over. “There are some details I need to hear as well.”

Alex winces a little at that, knowing she means everything about Angelica and how he’s been sleeping with Aaron.

“And,” she continues, her voice gentle as she loops an arm through Alex’s, “you’re really bad at telling the story Kitty needs to hear, so you’ll need my help.”

“I always need your help,” Alex murmurs, smiling a little when Eliza just shrugs. “Fine. Three drinks it is.” He lets Eliza lead him off the deck, her arm staying linked with his, keeping him steady, and Alex can't help but wonder how long he'll continue to draw on the strength of others instead of learning to be strong on his own. He's always putting people in danger. He's never been strong enough to protect them.

And now he's lost Aaron because of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaannddd once again, they have parted ways.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation! Leave them here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies! :D


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy x

**~ Around one year later ~**

“Alex, I just want to talk!”

“You’ve _been_ talking. You’ve been talking this _entire_ voyage!”

“Because you won’t listen! You - “

Alex groans loudly, cutting off the rest of Eliza’s words, and he just rolls his eyes when she glares at him. He can’t help it. He’s not in the mood for a lecture. He hasn’t been in a mood for a lecture in a very long time. In fact, he hasn’t been in the mood for much of anything lately.

“I’m sick of you moping around,” Eliza tells him, blocking his path when he tries to step around her. “And I’m sick of you lashing out! And you _know_ it’s wrong. You know it’s wrong to not respond to any of Angelica’s letters and - “

“I am not ignoring her,” Alex snaps before Eliza can accuse him of that. “I told her at your wedding that I wasn’t sure if we should go through with the engagement anymore and - “

“And then you ran away from her like a coward! Don’t try to spin this! The wedding was four months ago, and since then, you haven’t answered one of her letters! Did you know most of them aren’t even about your agreement? You do remember that you two are friends, right?”

Alex’s face burns at that, and he moves his gaze away from Eliza’s, trying to avoid the judgment and disappointment he sees there, but then his eyes land on the gold wedding band on her finger, and he feels something in his stomach twist.

He knows it’s stupid of him. He _knows_ that. But he’s so jealous of Eliza and Theodosia. And he’s jealous of Laf and John. He’s jealous of anyone who has what they want. And that’s stupid because it’s not like he doesn’t have what he wants. He’s a captain. He has a crew. But after everything that happened with Aaron, being a captain hasn’t held the same importance since then.

“ - you listening?”

Alex blinks his attention back to Eliza, who is looking at him in exasperation. “What?”

She sighs, crossing her arms. “Alex. I get it, okay? You’re upset about not being able to see Aaron. No, listen.” She reaches out and grabs his arm when he tries to leave again. “I know you’re hurting. But it's almost been a year, and you can’t just keep pushing everyone away.”

“I’m fine.”

“Bullshit. You miss him. And I’m sorry. I wish there’s something I could do. But I didn’t even know about it until it was too late because you were lying - ”

“I wasn’t lying!”

“But you didn’t tell me!” Eliza lets go of his arm, her jaw tight. “I thought we were past keeping secrets from each other!”

Alex looks away, shame washing over him, and he has to fight back his temper. “I’m sorry,” he gets out eventually, despite how much he doesn't want to talk about any of this. “I just… didn’t know how to bring it up. And I… I felt like… “ he trails off, clenching his hands at his sides. “I knew if I told anyone they’d tell me it was a bad idea and I didn’t want to feel guilty. Cause it felt good to have him around. And it only would have been wrong because I’d made a promise to Angelica. If I hadn’t made that promise, then... “

“Then?” Eliza prompts gently, the anger gone from her face.

But Alex just shrugs. “It doesn’t matter.” It doesn’t matter because Aaron is gone and Alex lost any chance they had.

“Alex, just -”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Alex tells her, the bite back in his voice. “I don’t want to _think_ about it. Cause then I think about how maybe I made the wrong choice! Maybe I should have said yes!”

“Said yes? Yes to what?”

A laugh escapes Alex at the question, and even to his own ears it comes out sounding crazy. He just shakes his head. He can’t tell Eliza about all the times Aaron asked him to go with him. It would just be something else he kept from Eliza. Besides, there’s no point in dwelling on it now. Alex said no. He said no over and over again. And now there's no chance that Aaron will ever ask him again.

“I just want you to be happy,” Eliza murmurs, and she reaches for his hand. “I haven’t seen you like this in so long. I’m worried about you.”

“I’m _fine_ ,” Alex tells her again. “And I’ll… I’ll write Angelica back, I promise.”

“To tell her the engagement is off?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Alex, you need to be clear. You can’t go through with this if you don’t want to. You can’t get her caught up in some scandal or - “

“I won’t,” Alex says, yanking his hand out of Eliza’s and getting right back into his awful mood. “I’m not a complete screw up, okay?”

Eliza is getting ready to respond when Kitty comes up to them suddenly.

“We’re about to land,” she informs them, glancing between them like she knows they'd been fighting. Which she probably does. Alex has been picking fights with everyonw. “The crew is waiting for your instructions, Captain.”

Alex shares one last frustrated look with Eliza before nodding, allowing Kitty to lead him to another area of the ship, where the rest of the crew is waiting for him.

“We had reports that there would be the chance that pirates are waiting on the island for us,” Kitty tells him. “So we’ll need to be on guard.”

Alex nods again. The reports of people coming after them or lying in wait have become startlingly accurate ever since Aaron got hurt, which just proves how much he’d been working to protect them. Without him, the missions have gotten startlingly more difficult, too.

“This isn’t a large acquisition,” Alex tells the crew. “It’s going to be simple. Or at least it should be, as long as we don’t complicate things. So we’ll go with the usual plan. John and Laf will stay aboard the ship, along with Montgomery, in case we need a speedy getaway. We’ll leave the ship in pairs, staggering when we leave. Only engage with the pirates on the island if you have to. If your partner gets injured, get them back to the ship. If both of you get injured, communicate through the pager. If you are in a dire situation, send up a flare. If you find the treasure, get it back to the ship, and send up a flare there so we can all regroup.”

“Should we wait?” Kitty asks from his side. “It will be dark soon, and exploring at night could be dangerous. It might be better to stay on watch over night and head out when dawn breaks.”

Alex considers the suggestion, but then he shakes his head. He’s feeling antsy, especially after his fight with Eliza. He just wants to get this over with.  “It’s not a large island,” he says. “And if the scans are showing that there are pirates here already, waiting overnight could mean losing the treasure if they manage to find it.”

Kitty studies him for a moment, but then she nods. “You heard the Captain,” she shouts to the crew. “Pair up and get ready to go. And be on guard!”

As usual, Kitty and Alex are together, and they head out first. But before he steps off the ship, Alex peers back to find Eliza, suddenly not wanting to leave things between them in such a bad state.

He catches her eye and nods, nerves settling a little when she nods back, smiling at him like she knows what is going through his head. Which she probably is. She always knows.

Him and Kitty walk across the sand of the island, taking in the surroundings, and Alex can’t help the slight thrill that runs through him. He always loves stepping into a new place, seeing new things. 

“Where should we look first?”

Alex considers the question, and then points towards the thick collection of trees ahead of them. “If I were buried treasure, I’d hide in there.”

Kitty nods, but there’s a hesitant expression on her face. “Won’t it be too dark?”

“That’s what flashlights are for.”

“But that could give away our location if there are - “

“We’re going,” Alex says tersely, tugging his flashlight off of his belt. “It’s been decided.” He doesn’t wait for Kitty to respond, walking a little ahead of her.

“Alex…” Kitty quickly catches up to him, her own flashlight out as they reach the beginning of the trees. “I just meant that we should be careful. We’ve been managing with the increase of threats but we always need to - “ 

“We’ll be careful. I can protect myself, okay? I can protect my crew.” That silences Kitty, and Alex grits his teeth as they continue to walk, the trees closing in around them.

Why does everyone question him? Why does everyone not believe in him? He graduated in three years, he’s one of the youngest captains in the Royal Navy. He’s capable of doing this. But ever since  learning that Aaron had been intervening and making things easier, Alex feels pressure to prove to everyone else that he can do this.

He knows Aaron had meant well. But now there’s a creeping doubt wedged into Alex’s mind that he isn’t as good as he thought he was. And Eliza, John, and Lafayette all know about Aaron. Even Kitty knows, since Alex had caved and told her everything. So he needs to show them all that he’s a good captain, that he can protect them from pirates without Aaron assisting him.

He needs to prove it to himself.

They walk for about ten minutes without speaking, the area around them getting darker and darker as the sun sets, and Alex has to push back the unease that starts to rise in him. They’ll be fine. They’ve done missions at night before.

“No signs yet,” he says after a couple more minutes, glancing down at his scanner. “Must be further in.” He leads them forward, only stopping when they come across a barrier - a large tree having fallen down in the path in front of them. “Boost me up?”

Kitty nods and moves forward, bending her knees slightly and folding her hands so Alex can place his foot in her palm. She pushes him up, and Alex grunts as he gets to his feet on top of the tree trunk, glancing around.

Even with the help of his flashlight, it’s still dark, and he can’t see through the trees very far. He looks down at the scanner again, no gold or metal showing up in the area around them. And no one’s communicated with them yet. Maybe they should have waited until morning. He’d made a speedy choice based on his own anger.

Mistake number one.

Alex sighs. Too late to turn back now. “Here, I’ll pull you up,” he says, turning back to Kitty, but then he freezes, because she’s not there. “Kitty?”

No response.

The hairs on the back of his neck rise. “Kitty?” he calls a little louder, and when there still isn’t a response, he jumps down from the tree. He’d taken his attention off of Kitty for all of twenty seconds. Where could she be? He tries her on the pager next, but there’s no answer.

Alex glances around, an unsettling feeling coming over him as he starts to walk. He pages her again, and is getting ready to send a message to the rest of the crew when he hears something. It sounds like radio noise. Like someone’s pager.

He follows the noise over to his left, going in a direction he doesn’t remember going until his foot knocks against something, and he looks down to see that it is a pager. Kitty’s pager.

Alex shuts off his flashlight and flattens himself against the nearest tree, trying to keep his breathing quiet. It has to be the pirates. The pirates got her without Alex even noticing. They already found them. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, f - 

A flare goes up, distracting him from his thoughts, and Alex whirls around to try and decipher the location. It’s not at the ship. It’s deeper into the forest. Alex curses under his breath, looking around and straining his hearing as much as he can.

He can’t leave his crew in danger. But he also needs to find Kitty. So he just has to hope that someone else will go towards the flare. He needs to trust his crew.

He turns back around and takes a step forward. Kitty hadn’t been out of his sight for more than twenty or thirty seconds. Whatever happened, she can’t be far, so he keeps walking, looking from side to side. But after a couple of minutes, he curses again. It’s gotten too dark, and he can’t see through more than a few feet ahead of him, and the trees aren’t helping either and nothing is looking familiar.

Another flare goes up, and panic starts to settle in Alex’s stomach. This is not good. This is not good at all. He pulls out his pager.

“John or Laf, come in.”

“Laurens. What’s wrong?”

“Send up a flare,” Alex says. “Get everyone back to the ship.”

“What? Why? What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure,” Alex admits, hating himself for it. “But Kitty disappeared, and there are flares going up. We need to get out of here. And fast. I -” He cuts off when he hears a yell up ahead. “Send the flare! I have to go!”

Not waiting for John to respond, Alex shoves his pager back into his pocket and breaks into a sprint, not caring about the noise he’s making. He breaks through a thick collection of trees into a small clearing just in time to see a member of his crew fall to the ground as a pirate draws back their sword.

Alex raises his pistol and shoots, hitting the pirate in the leg, and then the shoulder. When they drop to the ground, Alex rushes forward and kneels beside his crew member.

“Are you hurt?”

“N-no, I’m okay, I - “

“Where’s your partner?”

“He just disappeared! I don’t…  I don’t know.”

Alex grimaces, but he pulls the boy to his feet. “Get back to the ship.Page everyone else. Go. Now.”  Once they’re gone, limping into the trees, Alex turns his attention to the pirate, who is grasping at her leg and cursing.  “Who are you?” Alex asks, keeping his pistol trained on her. “How many of you are there?”

“Enough to beat you,” she spits out, clutching at her leg. “You don’t stand a chance.”

“There’s no reason to fight. We’re leaving. You can take the treasure and - “ he cuts off when the woman starts laughing.

“Fuck the treasure,” she says, still laughing. “That’s not what any of this is about. Do you know how many we’ve lost because of people like you? Or because of _you_ specifically? This is personal.”

Alex is about to respond when another flare goes up, followed quickly by a second, both in the same area. What the hell is going on?

“Better hurry,” the pirate says, looking gleeful. “My crew is good. I’d say whichever of your friends shot those flares up only have a couple of minutes before they’re killed.”

Alex glares down at her, finger tightening on the trigger, but then he just curses and turns, starting to run to where the new flares had gone up.

As he runs, his mind starts to spiral. This is all his fault. He should have assessed the danger before sending his crew out. He should have listened to Kitty. He should have admitted to being too emotional to lead this voyage. He’d made so many mistakes.

He runs even faster, and when he pager goes off, he doesn’t stop, just pulls it from his belt and raises it to his mouth.  “What?” Alex hisses, trying not to break his stride.

“We’re getting reports of another ship coming in,” Laf shouts on the other end. “But it’s on the opposite side of where we are. Should we try to intercept it or - “

“No! No, stay where you are! Some of the crew is making its way back to you, you can’t leave. Just… just stay there!” Alex disconnects and tries to run faster.

What the hell is going _on_? Another ship is coming? More pirates? There’s no way that they’ll be able to handle that. They can’t even handle the pirates already on the island. He’d been stupid to act so recklessly. 

He doesn’t know how long he’s been running for, but he does know he’s lost. He spins around a few times, craning his neck back to look at the tree tops to try and get some sense of direction. But then a scream echoes through the air, and he freezes.

“Kitty!” Alex shouts, not caring if it gives away his position. He prays for a response, for anything, but what he gets is the sound of a gunshot, followed by another scream, and then nothing.

Alex sways where he stands, his whole body going numb, but then he runs, trying to go to where he heard the screams, but he still can’t be sure he’s going the right way. Then, miraculously, another flare goes up, and it’s close.  Alex sends a thank you up to the heavens and forces his feet to go faster, heart thumping wildly against his chest. He can just make out a clearing ahead of him, and he breaks out through the trees onto another side of the island, seeing the water ahead of him.

But that’s all there is.

Alex comes to an unsteady halt, feet right at the edge of the water. There’s no one here. He glances up, the red of the flare just starting to fizzle out. This makes no sense. Where is everyone? Where’s -  

A hand covers his mouth, and Alex’s breath stops in his chest, heart hammering. Could it be - ?

“Well, if it isn’t my little ship rat,” a voice hisses in his ear, and Alex’s heart plummets, his blood turning to ice. “I’ve been dreaming of this moment.”

Something presses against his side, and then there’s a sharp sting, and Alex gasps at the pain, finally starting to struggle against the grip holding him.  He’s released suddenly, and Alex spins immediately to face the person who’s been in his nightmares for the past year.

Jefferson is already laughing, a twisted smile on his face as he points his pistol right at Alex’s face, a bloody knife in his other hand.

Alex takes a moment to look down, to take in the blood already starting to stain his clothes. Jefferson stabbed him.

“You look so surprised,” Jefferson drawls. “Why is that? A mighty captain like you should be used to the sight of blood. Should be used to spilling it.” He takes a step closer. “But you’re not, are you? You’re not because you’ve been having someone do your dirty work for years.”

Alex swallows, knowing that he means Aaron. “Why are you here?” Alex asks through his nerves, trying to get a hold of himself. “What do you want?”

Jefferson makes a disappointed sound. “You mean you don’t know? That smart little brain of yours can’t figure it out?”

“You want to kill me? Is that it?”

Jefferson laughs again. “Of course I want to kill you. I’ve wanted to kill you since the moment I laid eyes on you. And now I finally can.”

Alex’s heart slams against his ribcage as his mind tries to come up with something. There has to be something he can do. He needs to buy himself more time. He needs to keep talking. “I thought your grand plan was to kill me in front of Aaron? To make him watch?”

“Plans change.” Jefferson takes another step forward, and he gestures at Alex’s pistol. “Drop it.”

“No.”

Jefferson’s eyes gleam at that, and he sneers. “You haven’t changed at all,” he says, and then he’s moving fast, faster than Alex is ready for, and before he can even blink there’s a knife embedded in his thigh.

Alex cries out, and he can’t stop himself from falling to his knees, his free hand shooting out to keep him from falling flat on his face. And then Jefferson is on him, fingers tangling in his hair and jerking his head back as he simultaneously knocks the pistol out of his hand with ease.

“I’ve thought about this moment,” Jefferson murmurs, a crazed look in his eyes. “It’s happened so many different ways in my head. It started out with Aaron being there, too, you’re right. And maybe that would still be best, but he’s a slippery one. And you were too, before Aaron stopped helping you. And this opportunity is just too good to let it slip away.”

“Then just do it,” Alex grits out, the pain in his leg making him queasy. “Skip the monologue.”

Jefferson smirks, and he lets go of Alex’s hair in one quick motion, slapping him across the face in the next second. Alex’s head cracks to the side, and he feels blood pool in his mouth.

“I want to take my time with this,” Jefferson continues, his voice even, as if none of this is taking an effort on his part. “I’ve been planning for years, I think I deserve to draw this out a bit, don’t you?”

“Fuck you.”

Jefferson just chuckles, and he grabs at Alex’s chin, digging his fingers in and dragging Alex’s gaze back to his. “Maybe I’ll start by cutting out that tongue of yours. Maybe I’ll send it to Aaron with a nice little note included.”

“Aaron won’t care,” Alex says as best he can with Jefferson’s hand squeezing his jaw. “He hasn’t cared about me for almost a year. Why do you think you were able to make it this far?”

“Please.” Jefferson snorts. “Save me the lies. I know he got himself stabbed. Almost died, from what I heard. Looks like I’ll just have to finish the job once I’m done with you.”

“You’ll never kill him,” Alex hisses, trying to jerk his face out of Jefferson’s grip. “He’s better than you. He’s always been better than you.”

A sort of spasm crosses Jefferson’s face, and then he’s moving in, and Alex’s watches what happens next as if it’s in slow motion.

Jefferson yanks the knife from Alex’s leg, and then he’s slashing it towards his face, and Alex barely has time to yell out before there’s a white hot pain flaring across his skin, and this time he does fall to the ground, hands coming up too late to shield his face.

Alex can’t breathe at first, the pain too much. He rolls onto his side, not knowing what to do. His face feels like it’s on fire, and he can feel the blood on his skin. Before his mind can catch up with what happened, there are fingers tangling in his shirt, and he’s being hauled back up to his knees.

“I wish he was here to see this pretty face he loves so much get sliced up,” Jefferson hisses, and Alex can’t even see him, blood dripping into his eyes and down to his mouth. “This would break him. But he’ll break anyway once I tell him you’re dead. He’s so easy to break.”

Alex blinks, spits blood from his mouth. “You won’t break him,” he slurs, and he brings his hands up to wrap his fingers around Jefferson’s wrist. “You’ll just make him angry. And he’ll kill you.”

“Killing me won’t bring you back from the dead. I’ll still win.”

Alex laughs, but even that causes pain to spread across his face. “How is that winning?” he asks, praying that someone will find them soon. He just needs to keep Jefferson talking. He can still get out of this. He has to get out of this.

“Because I’ve been waiting to die,” Jefferson tells him. “But that can’t happen until I kill you both. And nothing can stop me from doing that.”

His words send a chill down Alex’s spine. “What are you talking about? You’re that set on revenge?”

“You think I shouldn’t be?” Jefferson asks, his voice scathing. He wipes his sleeve over Alex’s face, making him cry out when the fabric rubs against the gash on his face, but his vision clears, forcing him to stare up at Jefferson’s, whose face is lined with fury. “Aaron destroyed my life. And you helped him. He did it because of _you_.”

“You destroyed your own life,” Alex spits out, blood already trickling back over his eyelid. He wonders how bad the injury is. He’s starting to feel lightheaded, and his leg and side are throbbing from where Jefferson stabbed him.

“My life was going somewhere before that stupid voyage. I had _everything_.”

“Then go get everything back! Stop this stupid revenge fantasy and - “ Alex cuts off as Jefferson’s hand goes to his throat, squeezing and cutting off air.

“I can’t get everything back,” Jefferson says, his voice oddly calm compared to the way he’s choking Alex. “Do you know why? James got sick on that godforsaken planet you sent us to. He _died_ there, Hamilton. Days before a ship passed by. He’s dead. Because of you. Because of Aaron.” Jefferson squeezes harder, his teeth bared, and Alex really thinks he’s going to choke him to death, but then Jefferson lets go and takes a step back.

Alex falls forward, hands catching him again, and he tries to take deep breaths, a rushing sound filling his ears, and his vision goes spotty. At least he can breathe. But he can still sense Jefferson in front of him. This is only a momentary reprieve.

“Where’s my crew?” Alex asks a few moments later, needing to know. Maybe he can still save them. “What did you do with them?”

“Oh, they’re all tied up somewhere,” Jefferson says, and his voice is faint, but Alex can’t tell if it’s because he’s whispering or if it’s because he is starting to lose consciousness. “I was going to kill them all in front of you, so you could understand what it’s like to lose your crew, but there might not be time for that.”

That makes Alex look up, taking in Jefferson’s posture and the way he’s looking around. There might not be time for that? What does he mean? Is someone coming? He tries to listen, but all his attention keeps going back to the pain in his face and leg, and he can't focus on much else.

“It’s not our fault,” Alex says. “What happened to Madison, that isn’t our fault.” He sees Jefferson step forward, and then there’s a foot pressing down hard on his hand.

“I meant what I said about cutting out your tongue, Hamilton. Whether it’s before I shoot you dead or after, that’s up to you. Choose your words carefully.”

A strangled laugh leaves Alex. When has he ever done that? “Killing us won’t bring him back. He’s dead.”

There’s a moment of silence, but then Jefferson’s foot lifts, and Alex peers up at him to see nothing but hatred on his face.

“You’re right,” Jefferson says. “It won’t. Killing you will simply make me happy, and that’s enough of a reason.”

Alex tries to take a deep breath, but it’s almost impossible with Jefferson’s eyes on him. Panic is filling him, clogging his throat. Jefferson’s going to do it. He’s going to kill him.

Jefferson looks away from him again, gaze going to the trees, and Alex tries again to listen, tries to latch onto some kind of hope that someone is coming for him. He thinks he hears voices. Maybe far off footsteps. But it could also be his mind playing tricks on him. His heart is beating so loudly it's hard to hear anything else.

“Stand up.” The command is terse, but there’s a finality in Jefferson’s voice that makes Alex shiver. “Now.”

Alex laughs weakly. “I can’t.” He tries to move back when Jefferson reaches for him, but he’s too slow, and the man takes his pager from his belt.

“Stand up. Or I’ll give the order to start killing off your friends. What’s the girl’s name? Kitty? Should I start with her?”

Alex knows that Jefferson will just kill them anyway. But he still starts to force himself to stand. Anything to prolong what’s going to happen. Anything to give his crew more time to get out of this.

Once he’s up, Alex’s leg immediately starts to shake, and he knows he won’t last long.

“Don’t worry,” Jefferson tells him, seeming to notice that, too. “This will all be over soon.” He raises his pistol. “And then you’ll just be a name. And one that is only remembered for getting his whole crew killed.”

Alex clenches his jaw. He refuses to play into Jefferson’s taunting words, even if they are true. 

“I’ll drag your body to where your crew is,” Jefferson continues, “and I’ll tell them that you died without even trying to save them. You led them to their deaths tonight. Such a hero.”

Alex bites down on his tongue, fighting to keep himself upright. He’s losing too much blood. Time is running out. No one is coming.

Jefferson seems to know how much he's panicking, because he smiles. “And then I’ll find Aaron. And I’ll tell him you hated him for abandoning you. I’ll tell him you tried to make an exchange, telling me you’ll help me find him if I let you and your crew go.”

“Fuck you,” Alex spits out, unable to keep silent any longer. “You’re a piece of shit, Jefferson. You think anyone will remember you after all this?”

“I don’t care about that,” Jefferson snarls. “All I care about is making Aaron feel the same pain I felt.” He cocks his pistol. “And he will. And maybe, after I’ve dealt with Aaron, I’ll pay your hometown a little visit.”

A new wave of fear washes over Alex, and he snarls at Jefferson. “You won’t go near my mom.”

“Oh?" Jefferson says, looking almost gleeful. "Who’s going stop me?

A yell makes its way out of Alex’s mouth, and he suddenly finds himself charging forward. But he never had a chance. The last thing he sees is Jefferson’s smirk, and then there’s a loud noise, a bright spark, and Alex feels himself falling backwards.

There’s pain, but it’s almost secondary. It’s like he’s aware of it, but it’s at the back of his mind, only pushing through for seconds at a time, which is good, because when it does push through, Alex's whole body tightens, and he can't breathe.

He tries to lift his head to look at the damage, but he can’t. His whole body feels heavy. But he can move his hands, and he feels the warmth of the blood starting to seep from his stomach. There's so much. Too much.

He should move. He needs to get up. His crew still needs him. But he’s tired. He’s tired and he can’t feel most of his body, only his fingers, which are clutching at his stomach as the pain continues to wash over him.

As he lies there, the sky blue above him, he thinks he hears noises. Voices. A gunshot? He doesn’t know. Everything is blending together in a weird rush of sound. Everything is fading.

Then he becomes aware of the waves pushing at him, the tide moving in and out. The water is starting to fill his ears, crashing over his face and into his nose and mouth, the salt burning against his wounds.

He prays that he loses consciousness before he drowns. He doesn’t want to drown.

He’s going to die here. He’s going to die on this beach alone. His mom. His mom is going to be alone. It’s all his fault. Everything is always his fault. But she’ll blame herself. He can’t let that happen. His mom. She’s in danger. He needs to go home, he needs - 

Something touches him, and Alex jerks violently, pain sparking through his entire body, and he tries to inhale, but he chokes. He chokes on water and on his own blood and he thinks he might be screaming.

But he can still make out the sound of someone calling his name, saying it over and over and over again. He thinks there are hands on him, something cool against his face, and then on the back of his neck, lifting him from the water, but he can't make sense of any of it. Nothing feels real anymore.

Suddenly he feels tired, more tired than he’s ever felt.

He feels weightless.

He feels…. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D Cliffhangers are so fun.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated, and comments fuel my motivation! So leave them here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies!


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy x

The first time Alex is aware of being conscious, he immediately wishes he wasn’t.

Every breath sends fire through his body, and Alex makes the mistake of trying to breathe through the pain, which just makes everything burn even more. He chokes on his next inhale, feels his chest seize. He tries to move, to do something to alleviate the pain but more washes over him and he cries out, red flashing behind his eyelids.

Someone is yelling something, calling for someone, and then there are hands on Alex, holding him down, making Alex aware of the fact that he’s thrashing around. He panics even more. Where is he? Who’s touching him?

Whoever it is, they're saying his name, over and over, and then a hand is on his face, warm and rough and Alex leans into it, gasping out for breath that he can’t seem to take in.  Fingers swipe under his eyes, spreading wetness down Alex’s cheeks, and then another hand is on his face, cool and smooth, and Alex inhales sharply, turns his head towards where the person is sitting, but his vision is blurry, the room he’s in too dark.

Before he can try and figure out who it is, there are loud footsteps, frantic voices, and then those hands are being yanked away, replaced by smaller ones that flutter over his face and then his chest.

More footsteps, more voices, and then a prick on his arm, and Alex slips back into darkness.

***

The next time Alex wakes, or at least the next time he’s _aware_ of being awake, the fire he felt whenever he had breathed has turned into an ember, flaring hot only on deep inhales.

He keeps his eyes closed for a few minutes, everything rushing back to him in a way that makes him dizzy; Jefferson and his threats and taunts and the gun and the pain beneath his ribs and the water filling his mouth. 

Alex breathes in and out slowly, trying to swallow around the panic building in his throat. He shouldn’t think about any of that anymore. Whatever happened is over. He made it out alive. He’s okay.

After a few minutes, or maybe it’s a few hours - time doesn’t feel real - Alex tries to decide if he’d rather be awake or go back to sleep and not deal with anything for just a bit longer. He certainly feels out of it enough to fall right back asleep.

“Alexander?”

He blinks his eyes open at the sound of his name, tilts his head to look across whatever room he’s in, the blurry form of someone sitting in a chair by the wall filling his gaze. Alex tries to keep looking, but his eyes are already starting to droop.

“Alexander?” the voice calls again, and something else rushes into Alex’s mind, the memory of lying on the beach as the water soaks his face, the memory of hands lifting him, the memory of a voice, this same voice, saying his name over and over.

But who is it? Where is he? Panic starts to build in him again. What if he’s been captured? What if it _isn’t_ all over?

“Where am I?” Alex croaks out, his throat dry, feeling like it’s full of cotton. He tries to swallow, tries to moisten his lips, but everything is so dry. “Where - “

“You’re okay,” the person tells him. “You’re safe.”

Safe? The word settles strangely in Alex’s mind, and he tries to figure out why, but his brain is sluggish. He glances to his other side, sees the IV stuck in the back his hand. He must be on pain medication. A lot of it, judging by how out of it he feels.

But he’s being taken care of. That must mean he really is safe. That he isn’t in danger, that - 

“Mom,” Alex breathes out, panic shooting through him fast, and he tries to sit up. Jefferson had threatened her. He was going to hurt her. “My mom. I need to find her. She’s not safe, she’s - “

“Your mom is fine.” The voice is louder, rising in tone to speak over Alex. “She’s safe, I promise. Alexander, stop moving, you’ll hurt yourself.”

That makes Alex laugh, and he immediately wishes he hadn’t, pain thrumming through him, his entire chest burning. He doesn’t realize he’s whimpering until his name is being said again. But Alex doesn’t respond, doesn’t even know how to string any more words together.

“Alexander.”

There’s a hand on his shoulder, and Alex turns his face to look at it, to focus on something else, _anything_ else, but his eyes feel so heavy and everything hurts. Then the mattress is dipping, the person sitting beside him, a light flicking on beside the bed.

Alex inhales through his teeth, tries to get his eyes to open wider, and that’s when he sees the flash of silver.

He can’t breathe all over again. “...Aaron?”

“Yeah?”

The casual response makes Alex laugh again, and when the pain quickly follows, Alex reaches out, a smile managing to break out across his face when he feels cool, metal fingers wrap around his hand. Is this real? Is this - 

“Of course this is real.”

Alex blinks, turns his gaze to Aaron’s face, unable to believe that the man is next to him. “You’re really here?” he asks, doubt still creeping over him. “Or...am I dead?”

Aaron stares down at him for a beat, expression unreadable, but then he squeezes Alex's hand. “You’re not dead.”

“So… so you’re not dead either?”

“No.”

“Oh. Good.” Alex’s eyes slip shut, even though he fights to keep them open. He wants to keep staring at Aaron, wants to memorize his face, wants to see it when he blinks so that he knows he’s really here next to him. He doesn’t want him to leave.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Aaron murmurs, and Alex wonders if he spoke out loud. He hadn’t meant to. “You are speaking out loud,” Aaron tells him, sounding fond.

Alex manages to crack his eyes back open to see Aaron smiling down at him. That's nice. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

Alex grins, and he reaches out his free hand, intending to press his fingers to Aaron’s cheek, but he misses. He lets out a frustrated sound, and then Aaron is taking his hand and lifting it for him, placing it where he wanted it.

Aaron’s skin is warm, and Alex takes a weird comfort in that, and he lays his hand flat so that his palm is pressed against Aaron’s cheek. He’s still having trouble believing any of this is real. That Aaron is real. What if he’s not? What if this is some strange dream? What if Jefferson got to him?

Aaron’s expression shifts, becoming concerned. “Alexander?” He releases Alex’s hand, presses his own against Alex’s face, thumb brushing something wet off of his cheek, but it feels weird, not right.

Alex raises moves his hand, presses it to his own face, fingertips coming into contact with fabric. Bandages? He traces over them, finds that they are wrapped around his forehead and across his nose and cheeks, his eyes left free.

“You have stitches,” Aaron tells him. “The cut was deep, but we managed to keep it from getting infected. It’ll scar, but you’ll be fine.”

That’s right. The knife. Jefferson had cut him. Had yanked the knife from his leg and slashed out. Alex remembers that it hurt. He can’t feel it now, though. He can’t feel anything except for Aaron’s fingers tangled in his own.

Alex blinks over at him. Aaron looks so sad. He doesn't want him to be sad. “Do you promise this is real?”

“I promise,” Aaron tells him softly. “We’re both safe. And I’ll be here when you wake up again. So you should sleep.” He smiles when Alex shakes his head. “You’re half asleep now. You need to rest.”

But Alex shakes his head again, panic starting to prickle beneath his skin. He doesn’t want to sleep. He doesn’t want to lose Aaron again. If he goes to sleep Aaron will disappear. He doesn’t - 

“Alexander. Alexander, _breathe_.”

The words cause Alex to realize he can’t. He can’t. He keeps trying to but the air is getting stuck in his throat. He - 

There’s a prick on his arm, and then nothing.

***

When Alex wakes again, it’s still dark outside. At first he thinks it must be the same night as the last time he was awake. But that can’t be possible. It can’t be possible because he feels better, feels more aware of his surroundings.

He stares up at the ceiling, letting his mind slowly piece together his memories. The island. The beach. Jefferson. Jefferson and the knife. Jefferson and the gun. Jefferson threatening Aaron. Jefferson threatening his mom.  When Alex remembers that, the panic is brief this time, because then he remembers that his mom is safe. He’d been told she was safe. He’d been told by - 

_ Aaron. _

He tilts his head to the side, searching for Aaron as his memory of the their last conversation fills his mind. What if he’s not there? What if he never _was_ there? What if Alex just conjured him up?  But after a few moments, Alex spots him. 

Alex raises a hand to wipe at his eyes, to get them to work properly, and then he blinks again, Aaron becoming more and more clear across the room, his arms positioned strangely behind the chair he’s sitting in, his face guarded, but Alex can see his eyes roaming over Alex’s face in concern.

“Water,” Alex says, his head feeling fuzzy. “I…I need some water.” He wants to feel more clear, more alert, wants to talk to Aaron.

“I can call for your mother. Or for Laurens.”

But Alex shakes his head. He isn’t ready for everyone. Not yet. He just wants to talk to Aaron alone. “You get it.” He watches in confusion when Aaron laughs.

“I would, but I’m…” He shrugs his shoulders. “I’m a little tied up at the moment.”

Alex peers closer at him, notices the ropes around his ankles, and realizes his hands must be bound as well. “Why? What’s going on?”

“I suppose a pirate walking in with your half dead body in his arms wasn’t exactly a reassuring picture to your mother,” Aaron tells him. “And Laurens wasted no time in filling her in on who I am, so…” He shrugs again.

“But you’re still here,” Alex says, coughing a little. “Why are you…”

“I asked to stay.”

“So they aren’t holding you against your will?”

Aaron laughs at that, and then he shakes his head, still smiling as he moves his arms, doing something with his hands behind his back, and then, moments later, he’s removing his hands from behind him and wiggling his fingers in Alex’s direction. “I’m here of my own free will, I just don’t want any trouble.”

Alex snorts, figuring he should have known that Aaron wouldn’t willingly allow himself to be tied up if he didn’t have some plan. “Great. Then you can get me some fucking water.”

Aaron stares at him for a beat, but then he leans forward and slips his feet from the ropes next, not even having to untie them completely to get out. Then he stands and walks to the end of Alex’s bed where a small table has been set up, and pours him a glass of water.

He stops at the edge of the bed, staring down at Alex. “Can you sit up?”

Alex doesn’t even need to try to know that he can’t, and Aaron seems to know too, because he nods and reaches a hand under Alex’s head, tilting it up slightly as he brings the glass to his lips.

“Go slow,” Aaron tells him, and Alex does, taking small sips as Aaron tilts the water slowly into his mouth over the next few minutes until Alex feels less parched.

Then Aaron is setting the glass down on his bedside table, and Alex settles back against his pillow, breathing out slowly when Aaron turns back to him, his eyes trailing across his face.  He reaches out, wipes his thumb over Alex’s lip, catching a few stray drops of water on his skin, and Alex almost laughs at the way his throat seems to go dry all over again.

“You saved me,” Alex murmurs, and Aaron pulls his hand away, shrugs. “You did. I would have died if you didn’t – “

“Laurens is the one you should be thanking,” Aaron says. “He sewed you up. I just carried you to the ship.”

Alex sighs, but he’s too tired to argue. “Fine. Have it your way.” He lets his eyes close, winces a little when a sharp pain stabs at his side. Then the bed dips, and Alex feels Aaron brush up against him as he sits beside Alex. “What happened?” Alex asks, eyes still shut.

“You got shot.”

“I remember that part,” Alex remarks dryly. “I meant what happened… after.” He swallows. “My crew, are they -”

“They’re all okay.”

The wave of relief that crashes over Alex makes it hard to breathe, and the exhale he lets out gets stuck in his throat. He has to clear it a couple times, breathing deep through his nose.

“We got there as soon as we could,” Aaron continues, his voice soft. “Bellamy did his thing, was able to hide a lot of your crew and then ambush Thomas’s without anyone getting too hurt. He got them back to your ship and alerted everyone there to what was going on. Maria was with me, and we… “ he stops for a moment. “We found you and Thomas.”

Alex’s mouth quirks up, and he opens his eyes to stare up at Aaron. “Just in the knick time. My hero.”

Aaron’s doesn’t smile back. His expression turns dark, and he looks away from Alex. “You almost died. You don’t know what it looked like, what _you_ looked like. You - “ he cuts off abruptly, jaw clenching. 

Silence settles between them, and for once, Alex doesn’t know how to break it. He blames it on the pain medication that’s still being pumped into him, making his mind fuzzy. He reaches for Aaron, fumbling until he finds his hand.

“What about Jefferson?” he prompts. “What happened to him?”

Aaron’s hand spasms beneath Alex’s. He doesn’t say anything for a while, but then -  

“I killed him.”

A weird sense of satisfaction settles in Alex’s stomach, and he wonders if that’s bad, if that makes him a bad person. But he finds he doesn’t care. “How?”

That makes Aaron look at him again. “What?”

“How?” Alex repeats slowly. “How did you kill him?”

Aaron stares at him, but there isn’t confusion or disgust on his face, which Alex is thankful for. “I shot him.”

“Where?”

Aaron shifts slightly on the bed, and then he raises the hand that isn’t still entwined with Alex’s, and he taps his pointer finger against Alex’s forehead. “Here.”

Alex opens his mouth to say “good” but the word won’t come out, so he presses his lips together and nods instead. Aaron keeps staring at him, gaze thoughtful, but it starts to make Alex feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable about how he feels about Jefferson dying. He closes his eyes, moves to turn away, but Aaron’s hand slips to his chin, stopping him.

“It’s over,” he murmurs. “He‘s can’t hurt anyone anymore. You’re allowed to feel good about that.”

Alex clenches his teeth, but he nods again, re-opening his eyes to meet Aaron’s gaze, to just look at him. It feels so good to have him back. The past year felt so long without him. And Alex had almost lost any chance to talk to him, to explain everything. He'd been so stupid.

"Stop thinking so hard," Aaron tells him gently, smiling a little when Alex scoffs. "You're hurt basically everywhere else, so you don't need to go and hurt your head too."

"Shut up," Alex mumbles, but Aaron's words make him look down, taking in how his leg that Jefferson had stabbed is propped up on a pillow. He reaches for the blanket covering him and tugs it down, and he sees the bandaging wrapped around his stomach. He frowns at it for a while, but then he remembers the bandages he has on his face too, and he reaches up to trail his fingers over them.

"If he'd moved the knife over just a little," Aaron starts, "we'd have matching scars."

That makes Alex look back over at him, eyes glancing at the scar that stretches from Aaron's temple and across his eye. "I'm sure Jefferson didn't have symmetry on his mind." 

Aaron hums. "Probably not." Then he reaches for Alex's hand, lowers it from where he's still fiddling with his bandaging, and twines their fingers together, making it so he's holding both of Alex's hands. "I should call for your mom." But he doesn't move to get up, just looks down at Alex like he can't stand to look away. And Alex feels the same. He's still worried that he'll look away for too long and then Aaron will slip away. 

"You came back for me," he states, and something flickers across Aaron's face.

"You don't need to sound so surprised."

"That's... I'm not surprised. I just meant... " Alex searches for the words he wants to say, but there's almost too many to choose from. They have so much to talk about. "It's just that I haven't seen you in like, a year, so... so I just - "

"I wasn't going to let you die," Aaron interjects, voice dry. "Everything with Thomas is my fault, anyway. I owed it to you, to protect you. Just because you're... " Aaron's throat works as he swallows. "You getting married doesn't change that. I knew Thomas wouldn't stop, so I couldn't either."

Aaron mentioning the marriage makes Alex's pulse quicken. That means Bellamy had kept his promise, he'd told Aaron that Alex was going through with it. He doesn't know that he hadn't, that he wasn't getting married to Angelica. And Aaron could have gone the rest of his life believing that if Alex hadn't been saved, if he hadn't pulled through. Alex has to tell him the truth.

“I need to tell you something,” Alex says, and Aaron raises his eyebrows at the urgency in his tone. “I should have told you earlier, but I was… I don’t know what I was, but - “

The creak of the door opening makes him stop, and both he and Aaron turn to watch as Alex’s mom steps in, her expression shifting from surprise to annoyance as she takes in the sight of them sitting together.

Aaron goes to move, one hand slipping out of Alex's grip, but Alex holds onto his other hand tightly out of instinct, feeling like a little kid getting caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing.

“You were supposed to call for us if he was coherent again,” Alex’s mom finally says after a couple more seconds of strained silence, and her voice is stiff.

“He wanted to call for you,” Alex says quickly. “But I asked him not to.” When a look of hurt crosses his mom’s face, Alex rushes on. “Only because I wanted to ask him about… about what happened at the island. I was going to ask for you.”

His mom purses her lips, and her gaze tracks over Aaron, who is sitting very still. “I’d like to speak to Alex alone.”

Aaron nods, rising from the bed. “I’ll just…” he trails off, all of them glancing over at the chair and the restraints that Aaron had slipped out of. “Uhm…”

“You can wait outside,” Alex’s mom says tersely, but Alex thinks he catches her lips twitching upwards.

Aaron nods, and he moves to the door, glancing back at Alex before stepping out and shutting the door behind him with a soft click.

Then Alex is left staring at his mom, who has her arms crossed as she frowns at him. He tries to give her his best smile. “Hi, mom.”

Her lips press into a thin line, and then her face is crumpling, and she rushes towards the bed, grabbing at Alex hands as she sits beside him. “Oh, sweetheart,” she gets out through sobs, and Alex, overwhelmed, squeezes her hands as best he can. “You had me so scared, you - “

“I’m okay,” Alex tells her. “I’m right here, mom. I’m okay.” He tries to pull her into a hug, but it just results in her slumping awkwardly against him. Still, Alex keeps one arm wrapped around her as she cries. “Mom, I’m _okay_.”

She shakes her head and then lifts her face, eyes red. “I almost lost you.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I’m not letting you step foot on another ship.”

“Mom, I - “

“I mean it,” she tells him, leaning back and wiping at her face. “Never again. I’ll lock you in this room.” She gives him a shaky smile when he groans, reaching out a hand to pat his cheek below his bandages, and then her expression sobers, tears welling in her eyes again. “I’m never letting you out of my sight.”

Alex smiles at her, and then gestures at himself. “I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere anytime soon.”

His mom snorts, but then she’s sniffling, more tears slipping down her cheeks. “When they first brought you here, I thought - “

“I’m _fine_.”

“But you weren’t,” she says, eyes locking on his, and Alex sees the fear in them. “You were…. Alex, you couldn’t breathe on your own for an entire week. You were all hooked up and… and - “ she breaks off and takes a shuddering breath. “And before that, at the island, they told me your heart stopped. You were _gone_.” Her voice cracks on the last word, and something cold settles over Alex. “They had to bring you back. And they almost couldn’t.”

Alex blinks, trying to take it all in, and his mom cups his face, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek, gently pressing their foreheads together.

“I love you,” she tells him. “I love you so much. I - “

“I’m okay,” Alex tells her again, but his tongue feels numb as he says the words. “There’s nothing to be scared of anymore.” The problem is he hadn’t known just how much there was to be scared of before.

“My brave boy,” his mom murmurs, pulling away and smiling at him, and then they fall silent, hands clutching at each other.

Alex is still grappling with what she told him. His heart had stopped. He’d...he’d been _dead_. That must be why Aaron looked so distraught before. He’d been there when it happened. When Alex died.

“How long have I been here?” Alex asks, turning to look at his mom. “You said I couldn’t breathe on my own for a week, but I… the times I remember waking up I didn’t have a tube or anything.”

“It’s been a little over three weeks.”

Again, Alex is floored by that information. “Three weeks? But… I was out for that long?”

His moms chews at her lip for a few moments, and then sighs. “The worst of it was that first week. After that, you were…. well, physically you were healing for the most part. But whenever you’d be conscious, you’d, well, you’d go into a sort of panic.”

“What do you mean?”

“You didn’t know where you were, or who any of us were. You would just… “ she trails off, looking pained. “You would just scream. We couldn’t calm you, so we had to sedate you.”

Alex searches his mind for those memories, but he can’t remember any of it. Maybe that’s for the best. “Where am I?” Alex asks, and his mom looks surprised by the question, as if she was expecting him to ask more about his recovery. But he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. Not now.

“The Schuyler’s house.” 

Alex furrows his brows at that. “Why here? Why not a hospital?”

His mom sighs, and she takes one of his hands in both of hers. “John was able to do most of what he needed to on the ship as you traveled here. They were going to bring you to the Inn, but Eliza figured their house was better protected, just in case anything more were to happen, and then there was the fact that there were guests at the Inn, and… “ she trails off for a moment before continuing. “And apparently you kept asking to go home. So this is the closest they could get you. And then they came to get me.”

Alex squeezes his mom’s hand when her lip starts to tremble, and she gives him a shaky smile in return. “It’s all over now,” he tells her, repeating the words Aaron had said to him earlier. “Jefferson is dead. And I’m right here.”

His mom nods, and then she raises his hand to press a kiss to the back of it.

“Where’s everyone else?” Alex asks next, trying to go for a lighter topic of conversation. “My crew? Eliza and Theodosia? Are they all - “

“They’re all fine,” his mom assures him. “Everyone stops by. Nobody has missed a day, just in case you woke up. They’ll all be here in the morning. Meaning - “ she adjusts the blanket covering him “ - that you should get some rest.”

Alex wants to argue, but he can feel sleep starting to tug at him, so he lets his mom tuck him in with only a minimal amount of grumbling.

“Can you ask Aaron to come back in?” he asks, and when his mom frowns, Alex can’t help but roll his eyes. “Mom, he _saved_ me. He’s not dangerous. And I think you know that, otherwise you wouldn’t have left him in here with me.”

“He didn’t leave me much of a choice. He threatened to break in every night.”

Alex tries to fight back a smile, but based on the look his mom gives him, he fails. “Mom, just - “

“Not now,” she interrupts, holding up a hand. “You need rest. We can talk about all of this later.” She looks at him, gaze roaming across his face. “I’ll put him in another room for now.”

“But - “

“He needs rest too, Alex. I think he’s gotten just about as much as I have in these past few weeks.”

Again, Alex wants to argue, wants to talk to Aaron, needs to explain everything, but he knows pushing things won’t help. And his mom doesn’t deserve him starting an argument right now. Not after everything that’s happened. So he just nods.

His mom smiles at him, and she reaches for the doorknob, but she pauses when Alex calls for her.

“Can you…” Alex trails off, but then he pushes forward. “Can you promise me something? Just… just make sure he doesn’t leave. Don’t let him leave.” He can’t bear that happening again.

“I promise,” his mom murmurs, and she moves to open the door again.

“Mom?”

“Alex?”

“Can you… can you stay? Until I fall asleep?” He feels embarrassed by the question. He’s 25, he shouldn’t need his mom to stay with him. But learning that he’d died, that he’d been so close to never coming back, it’s shaken him more than he wants to admit. And he doesn’t want to be alone.

His mom immediately comes back over to him, perching on the edge of his bed. “Of course I can stay,” she murmurs, a hand reaching out to smooth hair off of his forehead. 

Alex lets his eyes close, and his mom keeps running her fingers through his hair. He thinks he might just fall asleep immediately, but then a thought occurs to him, and he chuckles. “So would everyone just come in and stare at me while Aaron was tied up in the corner? I mean, would you just sit in here with him in silence?”

His mom sighs, but then she’s laughing as well. “That’s basically the gist of it, as awkward as it sounds. I think sometimes he would pretend to be sleeping. And I… I wasn’t sure if he should stay in here alone with you, but Eliza said it was for the best. She finally convinced me to step out and get some rest, saying that he’d watch over you.”

Alex makes a mental note to thank Eliza. “He’s a good person, mom,” he whispers. “If he hadn’t been there I - “

His mom hushes him, and Alex blinks his eyes open to see her smiling down at him. “You don’t need to tell me. I know. I’m just…” she falters, clearly searching for words. “I’m just feeling a little over protective, I guess. Him standing over the bed with you barely alive was my first time meeting him, so I don’t think you can blame me.”

“Did you punch him?” Alex asks, remembering how all those years ago his mom had said she wasn’t sure how she’d react to meeting Aaron.

She laughs. “I didn’t. But that might have just been because of the shock.”

Alex grins, but then his smile falters a little, and he holds his mom’s gaze. “He’s good, mom, I promise. I was so bad to him but he saved me and I - “

“Alex, I know and - “

“ - never got the chance to explain everything. He almost died because of me, even after what I did, what I kept from him. And he still came to save me, to save my whole crew, to save _you_. If he hadn’t then Jefferson would have - “

“Honey.” His mom places a hand over his chest. “I need you to calm down.”

Her touch makes Alex realizes how fast he’s breathing, and he forces himself to swallow, to inhale slowly, to push the panic back.

“It’s all over, like you said,” she murmurs. “And I’ll make sure Aaron doesn’t leave. I won’t kick him out.” Her lips twitch into a smile. “No matter how much John might want me to.”

A laugh escapes Alex. “Don’t listen to anything John says about Aaron. He’s still such an asshole about all of that.”

Her smile grows, and she moves her hand back his hair. “It’s because he cares about you.”

“Yeah.”

"Now sleep,” she tells him gently. “You’ll have lots of visitors tomorrow. Including Aaron.”

He nods, eyes slipping shut again, and he listens to his mom hum softly as she cards her fingers through his hair. And for the first time in a long time, Alex drifts off to sleep feeling relaxed, feeling safe.

He’s home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments fuel my motivation. Leave them here or on my tumblr @ fanciful-follies! :D


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got so long

Alex had expected to wake up feeling refreshed, maybe even energized, but when he does wake, he feels groggy, feels out of it again, and all of his injuries seem to be pulsing with heat. He tries to fall back asleep, just to avoid everything for a little longer, but of course sleep doesn't come, so Alex pries his eyes open, blinking a few times as he takes in the sight of his mom sitting beside him.

“Did you stay all night?” Alex asks, rubbing at his eyes as best he can without disturbing the bandages on his face. “You didn’t have to do that. You shouldn’t have.”

“I got some sleep, don’t you worry,” is his mom’s response. “I wanted to give you time to wake up before everyone starts showing up. And I thought you might want to talk to Aaron first.”

Alex perks up at that, can’t help it. “Yeah,” he says quickly. “Is he awake?”

His mom seems amused by the question. “He’s been pacing in his room for the past hour, at least.”

Alex shifts on the bed, trying to push himself up, but his side twinges and his limbs feel weak, and he hates how tired he feels. “Can you…”

“Here.” His mom leans forward, loops her arms around him and helps him into a sitting position, sliding a few more pillows behind his back so that he’s propped up. “Comfortable?”

Alex nods, and he rests his hands on the blanket over his lap, fingers picking at the fabric. “So you… did you tell him he could stay?”

“I did,” his mom murmurs, and when Alex gives her an expectant look, she just laughs. “As far as I can tell, he accepted the invitation. I don’t think he has any intention of leaving any time soon.” She reaches out and pats his hand. “I’ll go get him.”

Alex nods again, watches his mom exit the room, and his heart starts to beat a little faster in his chest. He can finally tell Aaron that he isn’t engaged to Angelica, that he never had feelings for her, or at least not romantic ones. He can tell him everything. 

But what if he gets upset?

Alex fidgets at the thought. What if when he tells Aaron about the plan to investigate the Royal Navy and their handling of his parents’ mission, Aaron isn’t happy about it? What if Alex just ruins things between them even more than he already has? He doesn't want that. He doesn't - 

A soft knock on the door disrupts his thoughts, and Alex looks up to see Aaron stepping in, and his pulse quickens. They both stare at each other for a moment, and then Aaron shuts the door, but they just go right back to staring and Aaron shifts on his feet, looking just as awkward as Alex feels.

Alex searches his mind frantically for something to say, but his gaze settles on what Aaron is wearing, and what he blurts out is, “Is that my shirt?”

Aaron blinks at him, and then looks down at the shirt, smoothing his hands over it. “Oh. Probably. Mine had - “ he breaks off, mouth pressing into a thin line before continuing. “It was dirty.”

Alex fills in the spaces. Aaron had been carrying him, after all. Of course there would have been blood on his shirt. Alex's stomach twists at the image. “Sit,” he says, patting the space on the mattress beside him. When Aaron hesitantly moves to sit next to him, Alex frowns, noticing the dark circles beneath his eyes. “Did you sleep?”

“I’m fine.”

“That wasn’t my question.”

Aaron gives him a long look, and then shakes his head. “I just don’t sleep well in new places.”

Something heavy settles in Alex’s stomach. “But you’ll still…” He clears his throat. “My mom said she asked you to stay?” Once Aaron dips his head into a nod, Alex continues. “And will you?”

“If you want me to.”

Alex scowls. Aaron clearly isn’t in the mood to answer any questions. “Of course I want you to. You think my mom would have offered if I didn’t?”

Aaron just shrugs, but he holds Alex’s gaze. “Why do you want me to?”

Okay. So clearly Aaron doesn’t mind  _ asking _ questions. 

“What do you mean?”

“Bellamy told me you didn’t want me coming to you anymore,” Aaron says, his voice giving nothing away in regards to how he feels about that. “So I’m just… you said you had something to tell me last night. Before your mother came in. What was it?”

Even though Alex had planned to tell Aaron what that thing was already, he still feels nerves prickle over his skin at the question. “I…” He pauses to take a deep breath. “When you… after you got hurt, Bellamy told me everything. He told me you’ve been following me around, stopping any pirates from hurting my crew. I should’ve been able to figure that out on my own, since you were never going after the treasure, but I’m always so… so stupid when it comes to you.”

Aaron’s lips twitch, and Alex can’t tell if it’s in more of a smile or a frown. “Bellamy told me that you said you didn’t want me to follow you again. Or visit.”

“That’s not - “ Alex shakes his head. “I mean, yes, but not because - I just didn’t want you getting hurt! I didn’t ask you to do that and you almost died! Don’t you know how that would have made me feel? I would’ve… I never would have forgiven myself..”

“I owed it to you,” Aaron says lowly. “Protecting you. I had to do it.”

“You should have told me the truth!” As soon as the words leave his mouth, Alex regrets them, and Aaron just laughs, but the sound is bitter.

“Cause we’re both so good at doing that. You just let me sneak into your quarters after each trip without telling me - “

“I know,” Alex says quickly, not wanting Aaron to finish that sentence. “That’s what I need to tell you. I… I asked Bellamy to lie to you.”  When Aaron doesn’t react to that news, at least not visibly, it’s disconcerting, so Alex barrels on.  “Not about me not wanting you to help me anymore, because that was true. But only because you’d been stabbed. That… I couldn’t let that happen again. So I… I told him to tell you that I was going through with the marriage. That I liked Angelica.”

Aaron blinks once. Twice. Alex sees his hands twitch at his sides, sees his chest rise as he takes in a breath. “And that was a lie?”

Alex gives a jerky nod, notices the tightening of Aaron’s jaw, and he goes into a slight panic. “I was trying to keep you safe! You just… just showing up and then bleeding out on the floor of my room… I didn’t - I didn’t want to see that again! I didn’t ask you to do that for me! I don’t want you to do that for me! I _never_ wanted - “

“Alexander.”

It’s only once Aaron says his name that Alex realizes Aaron has moved closer, one of his hands resting over Alex’s. 

“I didn’t ask you to do that,” Alex repeats weakly, taking in shallow breaths. "You shouldn't have done any of that."

“You’re not my captain,” Aaron tells him gently, and he smiles, just a little, but it’s enough to lift the panic growing in Alex’s chest. “You could’ve ordered me not to, and I still would have done it.”

“But - “

“Thomas is my fault. Him targeting you is my fault. But he’s gone now. It’s done.”

Alex nods, put his other hand on top of Aaron’s, squeezing. “Yeah. But there’s… more. I… “

“You what?”

Alex hesitates, bites at his lower lip and avoids looking at Aaron. “I don’t want you to get mad.”

Aaron laughs, the sound light this time. He tugs at Alex’s hand until he’s looking at him. “It’s almost impossible to get mad at you, with the state you’re in. You should take advantage of that while you can.”

That makes Alex crack a smile. “It… uhm, the whole reason the engagement was a thing… Angelica is running for senator soon. The engagement was just to… to give her some positive publicity, I guess. Marrying an impressive naval officer and all that. And in return she promised she’d…”

“Just _tell_ me, Alexander.”

“That she’d launch an investigation into the Royal Navy,” Alex says quickly. “That she’d… the whole thing with Hanover and your parents, she’d get to the bottom of it and show that they covered things up. She’d blow the story open. Everything would be investigated and people would be indicted for your parents’ deaths.”

Aaron’s hand twitches beneath his, but that’s his only visible reaction, and Alex hates that he’s being so guarded again. “You… “

“I know I should have told you, or… or asked permission! But Angelica and I formed the plan the day after you visited me for my graduation. And I… I didn’t know if I’d see you again, and I never thought - “ Alex cuts himself off, not sure if he should admit to never thinking him and Aaron could have some kind of future together. “I just thought it seemed like a good idea and I wanted to do something for you and - “

Aaron’s mouth covers his, stopping the flow of words, and Alex’s first thought is that he doesn’t know when the last time he bathed was, or when the last time he brushed his teeth was, but then his mind registers that Aaron is actually kissing him, so he can’t be bothered to care that much about anything else. 

The kiss is soft, one of Aaron’s hands cradling the back of Alex’s neck, keeping him in place, and Alex, embarrassingly, hiccups against Aaron’s lips, suddenly aware of the tears falling down his face, getting the bandages wet where they rest on his cheeks.

“I missed you,” Alex says before Aaron can ask what's wrong. “I didn’t want to keep you away. I didn’t want you to go. But you were going to get yourself killed and I - “

Aaron hushes him, moves his other hand up to cup Alex’s face. “I know. You don’t need to explain. I know.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex gasps out, feeling ridiculous. “I’m sorry, I - “

“It’s okay.” Aaron’s voice is soft. “Just breathe in for me. It’s okay. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have -”

“Don’t you dare apologize for kissing me,” Alex mumbles, swallowing and breathing through his nose, and he smiles when Aaron chuckles. “I’m okay.” The words come out shaky, but Alex holds Aaron’s gaze, seeing the concern there, the concern that's been there ever since Alex has woken up. “I’ll get better.” He doesn't want Aaron to worry.

After a moment of silence, Aaron leans in to rest their foreheads against each other. “I know,” he says, and Alex hears him breathe in deep. "You're strong. You've always been strong."

Alex doesn't know about that. If he was strong he wouldn't have needed to lie so much. Wouldn't have needed Aaron to go around protecting him in the first place. But he doesn't bring any of that up. It isn't the right time. Not with Aaron leaning against him the way he is. Besides, Alex doesn't have the energy for an argument.

“So…" Aaron starts, "just to be clear, you _aren’t_ getting married?”

Alex laughs, and he loops his arms around Aaron’s shoulders, letting their noses bump together. “Definitely not getting married.” He presses a kiss to the corner of Aaron’s mouth, starts to say more but then the door is opening, and the two of them break apart.

They’re still hastily untangling themselves from each other when Eliza, Angelica, and Peggy all walk into the room, varying looks of amusement and exasperation on their faces as they watch Aaron scramble up from the bed.

There’s a strained silence, and then Eliza steps forward, smiling. “Hi, Aaron.”

Aaron bows his head in greeting, and Alex can see his eyes flick between the three sisters, lingering on Angelica a little longer, and Alex is suddenly struck by the fact that they must have met before. His mom said that everyone stopped by constantly, and with Aaron being in the room at all times, that means he’s met Angelica. He met Angelica still thinking she was going to be Alex’s wife.

Alex is almost glad he was unconscious for that.

“If we could have some time with Alex alone…” Angelica starts, her tone nice enough, but her words are clipped, and Alex winces a little on Aaron’s behalf. But Aaron just nods again, and quickly excuses himself without a word, letting the door shut behind him.

“He still gives me the creeps,” Peggy says, and Alex frowns. She doesn’t like Aaron?

“I take it you told him?” Angelica asks before Alex can really think on what Peggy said. “That we aren’t engaged anymore?”

Eliza huffs out a breath. “We don’t need to get into that right now.” She goes over to the bed, sitting in the spot Aaron had just vacated. “How are you feeling?”

Alex focuses his attention on her since her question is easier to answer. “Good. I… yeah, good. More clear. Less…”

“Awful?” Eliza finishes for him, and they both laugh. “You look good. Better. I - “ she cuts off, clearing her throat. Her mouth opens to try again, but Alex can see the tears forming in her eyes, so he opens his arms wide, smiling when Eliza immediately moves in for a hug.

“Sorry for scaring you,” he murmurs against her hair.

“You’re always scaring me,” she whispers back, voice breaking. “I really thought…”

“I’m okay,” he says for what feels like the hundredth time, wondering how many more times he’ll have to, or how many more times people will remind him that they thought he wouldn’t make it out of all this alive. It's starting to make him feel on edge, like something could still happen to him.

Eliza pulls away, wiping at her face with the back of her hand. “I was so mad at myself. The last time we talked it was a fight and - “

“It’s not the last time anymore,” he tells her gently. “And I more than deserved what you said that day.”

That makes Eliza laugh again, and she nods, sniffling a couple of times. “Theodosia wanted to stop by, and Kitty too, but they’re both in meetings today. They promise to come tomorrow, though.”

“That’s fine. How is Kitty? And the rest of the crew? Is everyone - “

“They’re all doing fine,” Eliza assures him, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder. “No one got seriously injured. Kitty has a broken arm, but it’s nothing that won’t heal. You have nothing to worry about.”

Alex grimaces at that, guilt pinching his chest. “It’s my fault they were in danger. I shouldn’t have sent them onto the island at night. If Aaron, Bellamy, and Maria hadn’t shown up, Jefferson would have - “

Eliza holds up a hand, stopping him from continuing. “But they did show up. You can’t… don’t think about the alternatives, you’ll drive yourself crazy.”

Alex wants to argue, because it is his fault. He put his whole crew in danger. He put them in danger because he’d been moping over losing Aaron and worrying over officially breaking things off with Angelica. Speaking of which…

He glances behind Eliza to meet Angelica’s eyes, sees her raise her eyebrows. “I… uhm, I need to talk to you. Alone,” he adds, giving apologetic smiles to Eliza and Peggy. “Not to kick you guys out, but…”

“We get it,” Peggy says, and she bounces over to place a kiss on Alex’s cheek. “I’m glad you’re doing okay.”

Alex nods at her, accepts another hug from Eliza, and then takes a steadying breath as the two sisters exit the room, leaving him alone with Angelica, who is still keeping her distance from him.

“You never answered any of my letters,” she says after a moment, sounding matter-of-fact about it, but Alex has known her long enough to know that means she’s upset. That she wants an apology and an explanation.

He squirms on the bed. “I know. I’m… sorry.”

“How convincing.”

“Angelica…” Alex sighs, fiddles with the covers. “I am sorry. I didn’t meant to… to hurt you or… or whatever.”

Angelica continues to stand there, looking unimpressed, but then she cracks a smile, and she finally walks over to the bed, perching on the side. “I know. You’ve always been stupid about things like this.”

Alex purses his lips, but he doesn’t deny it.

“It was clear you didn’t want to go through with the marriage,” Angelica continues. “I just wish you would have communicated with me. You basically shouted at me about it at Eliza and Theodosia’s wedding, and then that was it. Obviously I knew it had to do with Aaron, but then you just cut me out. _That’s_ what hurt. We both know there weren’t romantic feelings behind the engagement. But I thought we would still be friends.”

“We are friends,” Alex says quickly, offended that Angelica would insinuate they weren’t. “It was just… I was worried you’d be mad. I was… I don’t know, I had already lost -” he falters to a stop, not wanting to mention Aaron for some reason. Maybe because it seems pretty clear that everyone is uneasy about him. “I just didn’t want to lose you, too,” he finishes softly. “I guess that’s why I was avoiding talking to you more about ending the engagement. I thought ending it would... change things.”

“You think I’m that easy to get rid of?” Angelica asks, and she sounds offended, but when Alex glances at here, there’s nothing but amusement on her face. “We’ve been friends since we were children, Alex. It’s safe to say that friendship will continue.”

“You’re not just saying that because I’m bedridden, right?” he asks, thinking back on what Aaron had said earlier.

Angelica laughs. “That might be part of the reason,” she says, but she smiles wide, clearly joking. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

Alex smiles back at her, and the two of them sit in a companionable silence for a couple of minutes, only moving when there’s a knock at the door, John and Herc peeking their heads into the room. When Herc sees that Alex is awake, they practically push John out of the way and burst inside.

It’s only thanks to Angelica that Herc doesn’t jump onto the bed to hug Alex, her hand reaching out to stop them as Alex starts laughing.

“Jumping on him might not be best for the healing process.”

Herc looks slightly abashed at that, but they still move Angelica out of the way so they can sidle up next to Alex, moving in for a more gentle hug.  “You scared the crap out of me, man,” they say as they pull back. “You looked like total shit when they brought you in.”

“Felt like shit too,” Alex quips, but his stomach does a strange series of flips as he remembers his mom saying he hadn’t been able to breathe on his own. “I’m all right now, though.” 

“Yeah?” Herc visibly brightens at that, and Alex feels like he has to nods his head, wants to keep his friend looking that happy, even if he doesn’t quite believe the gesture himself.

“Yeah. On the mend.”

“I’m making you a new jacket,” Herc says next. “It should be done in the next couple of days! Once you’re up and ready, you can try it on. I might need to take it in a bit. Or, well, you’ll probably put some weight back on now that you’re not so out of it, so maybe I’ll let it out some.”

Alex chuckles, reaches out to pat Herc’s hand. “That would be great, thanks.”

“Gotta look good to feel good,” Herc says, flashing a smile at him and then standing when John lets out a cough. “John wants to give you a check up, so I’ll get out of the way. I’ll stop by later though, yeah?”

Alex nods and waves goodbye, only turning his attention to John once the door closes behind Herc. But John isn’t looking at him. In fact, he avoids looking Alex in the eye as he moves closer, folding the blanket up so he can inspect Alex’s leg where Jefferson had stabbed him.

“John?”

“The wound is healing well,” John tells him as he undoes the bandaging. “He stabbed pretty deep, damaged a muscle, but there hasn’t been any sign of infection, which is good. You’ll need to do some physical therapy, but you’ll end up being able to walk just fine. Might need a cane for a bit.”

Alex nods, opens his mouth to speak, but then John is pulling the blanket completely off of him, going to the bandage on Alex’s abdomen next.

“The gunshot wound has been tricker,” John continues. “It missed your lung, which is good, but it managed to hit your diaphragm, which, well, not so good. That’s what caused your respiratory issues at first, but with surgery we got that under control relatively quickly. You were lucky it was the left side and not the right. Damage to the right side has a higher mortality rate.”

Alex’s stomach swoops at that. “John, I - “

“It also caused what is called a  traumatic diaphragmatic hernia, which cut off some blood supply to certain organs, but, again, with the surgery, we were able to fix that. Damage to intestines was minimal, but we just need to keep an eye on any sign of infection. You’ll probably still be experiencing significant abdominal pain for a while.”

“Okay, I -”

“I know your mom told you that you went into cardiac arrest,” John says, his tone all business, and Alex has the strange urge to shake him. “We revived you pretty fast. Luckily you were back on the ship by that point. Laf and I doubt there will be any damage to your brain. And there was no stroke afterwards, which is good. And we’ll obviously continue to monitor you just in case that - “

“John!” Alex yells louder than he means to, but it gets John to stop talking, gets him to finally look up at Alex, his jaw tight. “Just… stop for a second, okay? I need to… to catch my breath.” He doesn’t want to admit how much he hates hearing all of this, how much it throws him off balance.

John stares at him for a moment, looking like he might continue anyway, but then he nods, draping the blanket back over Alex and slowly walking around the bed until he’s beside Alex. But he doesn’t sit. 

Alex swallows, his throat suddenly dry, and he has to grip the sheets to keep his hands from visibly shaking. He’s okay. He is. John even said he’d been lucky. Things could have been worse. Everything is okay.

“I need to look at your face,” John says, but his tone is a little more gentle. “Last thing.”

Alex nods, but now he avoids looking at John, and he stays silent as John slowly unwraps the bandage from his face. “We can probably keep this off,” John tells him. “It’s healing really well. You’ll just have to keep it clean, dab some ointment on it.”

“The stitches are out?”

“Course they are,” John says, and he snorts. “Those came out a while ago. Stitches don’t stay in for weeks.”

“Sorry, Doctor Laurens.” Alex tilts his head to meet John’s eye, gives him a weak smile. “My timeline is a little fuzzy.”

John hums. “That’s to be expected, with how much pain medication we’ve been pumping you with. We can start to lower that, though. And as long as your anxiety doesn’t spike, we can stop sedating you. You'll probably find it harder to sleep for a while."

Alex shrugs, not knowing his opinion on that. He trusts John. He kept him alive, after all. “Thanks,” Alex mumbles, and he clears his throat when John arches a brow. “For, you know, saving me.”

Now John shrugs. “Just doing my job.”

“Right.”

Silence settles between them, but it’s heavy and tense, and Alex bites hard at his lip, trying to figure out what to say, or why John seems so upset.. But John ends up speaking first.

“Did you know Jefferson was on that island?”

The question makes Alex’s eyes widen. “What? No, of course not! What the fuck, John? You think I’d put my crew in danger on purpose?”

John shrugs again. “With the mood you’d been in? Maybe. Especially if you knew Aaron would be there too.”

Anger pumps through Alex, and he shifts forward, waiting until John is looking at him to speak. “You really think that about me? Really? That I would risk other people getting killed on purpose? Just to see Aaron?”

“I don’t know,” John says lowly. “I think you’d risk getting yourself killed. And you almost did.”

“I didn’t know he would come. I didn't know he'd be there. John...” Alex takes his friend’s hand, tugs at it. “What is wrong with you? Where is all of this coming from?”

“I just don’t get it!" John all but shouts. "He… all of this is _his_ fault. Aaron betrayed Jefferson, pissed him off so much that he wanted to kill everyone. He practically _did_ kill you. And Aaron just… what? He just gets to stay here? Like that didn't happen?”

Really? That’s what all of this is about? Aaron being here? “He saved me!” Alex retorts, unable to keep the surprise from his voice. “You think we should just kick him out?”

“He’s the reason you needed saving in the first place!”

“So, what? You’d rather he didn’t show up? I’d be dead, John, I - “

John stands up, yanks his hand out of Alex’s. “Don’t! Of course I don’t fucking want that! I… fuck, Alex! Your heart stopped. I felt you die. I - “ He cuts off, hands covering his face. “And I couldn’t even… Laf had to revive you, I couldn’t -”

Alex watches as John starts to sob into his hands, shock replacing his anger, and it takes his mind a couple of seconds to catch up to the sudden change. “John… “ Alex pats the bed, has to do it loudly so John can hear. “Sit down. I can’t get up to hug you.”

That pulls a laugh from John, and he stumbles back towards the bed, slumping down immediately but allowing Alex to wrap his arms around him.  “I’m sorry,” John manages to get out. “I didn’t want to yell at you. I… fuck, you know how bad I am at all this.”

“At bedside manner?”

John laughs again, and he lowers his hands, pulls away slightly to look at Alex. “At telling you I care about you.”

“It goes unsaid,” Alex tells him, and John covers his face again, takes in a few shuddering breaths. “Besides, I’m not so great at it either. But you know I need you, John. Who else would constantly save my ass?”

“True. Nobody else does it better than me.”

Alex smiles, even though he figures that’s also a subtle dig at Aaron. But they don’t need to get into that any more than they already have. Alex knows John will never trust Aaron. And it seems like very few people do, if Peggy’s opinion of him is anything to go by.

“I didn’t mean to freak you out earlier,” John says next. “I just… I know it’s weird, but going through all the medical stuff calms me down. I swear you’re in better condition than it sounded. You got - “

“Lucky, I know.” The words come out slightly annoyed, so Alex forces his smile to widen when John looks at him. “That’s good. I’m good.” He settles back against the pillows behind him, searching for a change of topic. “I’m fucking exhausted though.”

John chuckles. “This is probably the longest you’ve been awake in a while, so I’m not surprised. I’ll tell your mom to hold off on anymore visitors. And here.” He pulls something from his pocket. “Now that you’re conscious, you can press this button whenever you need something. We all have a pager on us that will alert us. I mean, I’m sure your mom will still check on you every five seconds, but… “

“Got it.”

“Want me to send her in before you pass out?”

Alex shakes his head. “No, that’s fine. Tell her I need to rest.” That’s only part of it though. He needs to be alone, needs to have a moment to himself. If his mom comes in, she’ll immediately see that something is wrong and try to talk to him about it. Will try to fix it.

John stands and nods, and then he’s hesitating.  “Alex…”

“What?”

“I’m… I am sorry for yelling.”

"Don't worry about it." Alex grins at him. "It was a nice change of pace from everyone else's visits."

John snorts, but his expression quickly turns serious again. "I just don't want you to think that I'm not happy you're okay. I am. I want you to be okay."

“I know. It’s fine. We’re okay.”

“Yeah.” John goes to the door. “I’ll let everyone know you’re taking a nap. I’ll have your mom bring in some food later. Something light. And remember, just page us if you need anything.”

Once the door shuts, Alex exhales, frustrated that he can feel the beginning of a headache at his temple. He's barely done anything, how can he have a headache? And how is he _so_ tired? He shifts on the bed, trying to lie down flat, and he inhales sharply through his teeth when the movement makes a spark of pain run through him. But eventually he gets into a comfortable enough position, and he lets his eyes close.

But his mind doesn't seem to want him to sleep.

He keeps thinking about everyone's expressions when they first saw him. Everyone seemed so surprise, like they couldn't believe Alex was alive. It makes him feel like being alive is some kind of mistake. Like everyone is waiting for something to go wrong. Will something go wrong?

Alex swallows, panic starting to build in his chest, but he fights it back. Or at least he tries to. Maybe he should have asked John to give him something to help him calm down, something to help him sleep. But asking for it instead of just being given it feels different. He doesn't want to look weak.

But he knows that sleep won't come easy.

-

The next couple of days are… stressful, to say the least.

Alex is awake more often than not, although he isn’t sure he likes that. Being awake means seeing everyone fret over him. Being awake means dealing with the leftover pain of his injuries. Being awake means he has more time to think and he doesn’t want to think so much.

What makes things even worse is that John was true to his word and was slowly weaning Alex off of all the pain medication and the injection that put him to sleep. And sure, Alex knows it needs to be done, but now, as opposed to before, he’s barely sleeping at all, and it’s taking a toll on his mood.

He snaps at John whenever he comes in to do a check up, even snaps at his mom when she tries to get him to relax. But he can’t relax. He doesn’t think he’s ever been so far from being relaxed before. He’s just glad he’d managed to keep himself in check when Kitty finally visited.

Her arm was in a sling, and there were scratches across her face, but, just as everyone had kept telling him, overall she was fine.

And of course she refused to let Alex apologize. Refused to let him feel any guilt over her injuries. She claimed to not remember much of the night on the island, but Alex could tell she was lying. But he didn’t push it. He didn’t have the energy.

The only time Alex feels relatively calm is when Aaron is allowed to visit. But of course that becomes a rarity, because no one seems to trust Aaron, and Aaron is too wary of that, not wanting to disturb anyone or anything, so he lets himself get pushed to the sidelines.

“He’s just a little… disconcerting,” his mom had told him when Alex brought it up one day. “Nobody really knows him.”

“ _I_ know him.”

“Yes, dear, I know, but we need you focused on your recovery.”

“But Aaron helps with my recovery!” Alex had blurted out, not understanding why no one seemed to get that. Aaron had been there at the beach, had seen what happened to him, had gotten him out of there. And he doesn't fret over Alex like everyone else does.

His mom had just pursed her lips at that. “He’s not going anywhere, Alex. I just think it’s more important right now for John to be the one taking the reins on your recovery. And since I’m your mom, I’m the backup.”

Since then, Alex has tried to be alone with Aaron, pressing the button John had given him at various times throughout the day in the hopes that Aaron would be the one to respond. But he never is, and Alex has to wonder if he’s even been given a pager.

All of it has put him in an awful mood, and today was no different. Alex has felt on edge for the majority of the day, speaking in grunts whenever someone stopped by until everyone eventually just left him alone.

But of course that makes Alex’s anxiety start to spark. He thinks it’s gotten worse since he’s regained consciousness. And when he’s left alone with nothing but the constant beeping of the monitors around him, Alex finds himself waiting for one of them to signal that something is wrong.

He hasn’t been able to keep himself from thinking about what happened to him. What almost happened to him. What technically _did_ happen to him. He’s never thought about death so much before. And he wants to stop. But his mind doesn’t seem to want to listen to him.

A knock at his door causes Alex to look up, and he frowns when his mom steps in with a basket full of something Alex can’t see.

“I know you didn’t want to see anyone else today,” she says before Alex can bring it up. “But I thought that maybe washing your hair would make you feel a little better. John says you can’t do a full bath yet, since your more serious injuries need to stay dry, but the cut on your face is in good enough condition. So… “ she trails off, and then gestures to someone behind her.

John and Aaron walk in, both of them lugging a tub of water between them, and if Alex were in a better mood, he’d laugh at the glares John is shooting at Aaron whenever he can. To his credit, Aaron politely ignores them.

“We’re just gonna have you lay down flat,” his mom starts, taking the pillows from behind Alex and directing him, “and have your head hang off the edge of the bed a little.”

For some reason his stomach churns when he sees the tub of water being set down near him, but he allows his mom and John to move him so that his head is at the edge of the mattress, hair dangling down. He can hear his mom rummaging around, and then she’s right behind him.

“Let me know if the temperature is good,” his mom says, and then she’s smoothing more hair off of his forehead, and Alex feels cool water trickle over his hairline, dripping down the rest of his hair. “Okay?”

It’s not okay. Something is… Alex blinks his eyes, vision momentarily fogging over. “It’s... “ His hands are shaking against the sheets, and his heart is beating strangely, but he breathes past it, closes his eyes as his mom pours more water onto his hair, some of it splashing onto his face, making him twitch.

“Too warm?” his mom asks, stopping.

Alex shakes his head, his throat too tight to speak. But he wants to tell her to stop.

More water falls, this time splashing onto his lips, and Alex actually hears himself whimper, feels his body go cold. But his mom keeps going, unaware, and water gets into his ears next, and Alex turns his head to the side, frantic to get it out.

“Alex?”

He just shakes his head again, can’t speak, can’t do anything. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him, doesn’t know how to tell his mom to stop, doesn’t know how to calm down, either. All he can think about is the feeling of water on his skin.

“I think maybe you should- “

“Stay there,” John says, his voice tense, and Alex is barely able to piece together that he’s speaking to Aaron. Aaron, who had been about to tell them to stop. Yes, stop. Alex needs this to stop. Needs to get out of the water. Needs to get home. Needs to not get pulled under. Has to stay alive.

Someone else says something, Alex doesn’t know who or what, because in the next second, too much water is slipping down his face, and Alex gasps as the water fills his ears again and slips over his eyelids, and then he’s thrashing, trying to escape, to get up, to pull himself out of the water, but his side flares in pain and Alex starts to choke, can’t breathe.

There’s some kind of commotion around him. Voices and yelling and a strange thudding, but it all gets jumbled in the rush of water in Alex’s ears.

But then he’s being lifted, hands pulling him up and up and up. Something is pulled over his head, and Alex struggles for a few moments before realizing it’s a towel, that someone is drying him off, taking the water away, and he slumps against that person immediately.

“Please,” he whispers, hands reaching out to grab the person’s shirt. “Please, please, please. I don’t…the water, it’s…”

“Shh,” the person says, and then they’re moving the towel to his ears, rubbing there before moving to his face and gently wiping the water off his skin, and Alex can feel himself shaking. “Alexander, you’re okay. You’re not at the beach, you’re safe.”

The words confuse him, make his head spin. Not at the beach? But the water, the gunshot, his stomach, it hurts. And Jefferson. He - 

“Alexander.” Whoever is holding him says his name gently. “You made it out. Thomas isn’t here.” They rub the towel over his hair again, draping it across his shoulders after, keeping his wet hair from touching his skin. “Do you understand?”

It takes a few minutes, but Alex gives a jerky nod. That’s right. He’d been pulled out of the water. Carried. It all rushes back so fast that Alex almost thinks he’ll be sick, but it passes just as quickly, and Alex manages to exhale shakily.

“Do you know where you are?” 

Alex hums, opening his eyes to look up at Aaron, who is peering down at him. “I’m…home?”

“Yes,” Aaron tells him, giving him a small smile. “You’re home. Safe.”

Alex shivers, but he leans forward to rest his forehead on Aaron’s chest, breathing in and out until his heart slows down. “You brought me home.”

Aaron’s hand comes up to rest against his back. “Yes.”

Alex nods again, leans further against Aaron, wraps his arms around him. He still feels shaky, feels weak, and Aaron feels sturdy and warm, his hand rubbing soothing circles onto Alex’s back. 

After a few more minutes, Alex lifts his head, looks past Aaron to see John standing with his arms crossed, a red mark against his cheek. Alex’s mom is beside him, her hand covering her mouth as she stares at him and Aaron, her eyes a little watery.

“I’m okay,” Alex says, mainly for his mom’s benefit, who lowers her hand to give him a small smile.

He lies back down with Aaron’s help, feels exhaustion starting to fall over him, but he still clings to Aaron’s shirt. His mom comes over to the other side of the bed to press a kiss to his forehead.

“You just get some sleep,” she tells him, and then she turns to Aaron, whose expression turns apprehensive, and Alex’s heart speeds up all over again. Is she going to make him leave? “Maybe you can… would you mind watching over him until he falls asleep?”

Alex doesn’t think he’s ever seen Aaron look so shocked. “I… yes. Sure. Of course.”

His mom nods, and John looks outraged. “But - “

“He clearly knows what he’s doing,” Alex’s mom says before John can finish, and she sounds tired, but she smiles. “I think him staying would be best. Although I will have to ask him to refrain from punching anyone else.”

Alex sees Aaron’s mouth twitch at that, and Alex realizes where the mark on John’s face came from. “That can be arranged.”

His mom nods, and then she’s taking John by the arm and half leads, half pulls him from the room.

As soon as the door closes, Alex tugs hard on Aaron’s shirt, pulling him down until he’s practically pressed against Alex, but his hands come up at the last second, bracing his hands on either side of Alex so that he doesn’t let his full weight drop onto him.  It’s an awkward angle, with Aaron twisted to one side, but Alex finds comfort in it all the same. He breathes in deep, presses his face against Aaron’s neck, can still feel his hands shaking so he grips Aaron even tighter.

“Alexander - “

“Shut up,” Alex breathes out. “Just… give me a second. I’m…” Even though he knows now that it’s all in his mind, the feeling of waves against him is still there, and Alex just needs a moment to ground himself, and having Aaron there, the person who lifted him from the water, seems to be helping. “Hey, Aaron?”

“Hm?”

“I don’t think I’m okay.” Alex has to force the words out, terrified of them, but once they make it past his lips, he realizes how good they feel to say.

There’s a beat of silence, and Aaron is still against him, but then - 

“Okay,” Aaron says. “That’s okay.” He pushes a little closer to Alex. “You don’t have to do any of this alone.”

Alex nods against him, unable to care that he’s getting tears all over Aaron’s shirt. “I just… I don’t know - I don’t know how to tell everyone.”

Aaron pulls away at that, a small smile on his face as he peers down at Alex. “Well, I don’t think you’ll have to, after what just happened.” Miraculously, that makes Alex laugh, and Aaron’s smile grows a little, hand reaching out to press gently against Alex’s face. “You…” Aaron trails off, licks his lip and shakes his head. “You don’t have to be strong about any of this. It… you’re allowed to not be okay.”

“I don’t want to scare anyone.”

“Why would that scare them?”

Alex laughs again, the sound more high-pitched. “Because that’s all anyone keeps telling me - how scared they were. How scared I made them because my heart stopped and I died and I almost didn’t come back!” He pauses when Aaron flinches at his words, but he has to keep going, has to get everything out. “And everyone seems so calm now that I’m… I don’t know, healing, but I… I feel so fucking scared all the time and I don’t - “

“That’s okay, that’s - “

“It’s not okay! I can’t sleep, I can’t… I can’t do anything! I can’t even get my hair washed. I’m… “ Alex trails off and shakes his head, not knowing what else to say, or how else to describe how he’s feeling.

Luckily Aaron doesn’t push him. Instead he crawls over Alex and lies down on the bed beside him, one arm curling beneath his head as he turns on his side to stare at Alex, his expression soft.

“I just meant that being scared is normal. What you went through… I’d be more concerned if you weren’t scared.”

Alex considers that, lets himself nod, and then he peers closer at Aaron. “Were you scared?”

“When?”

“After you got stabbed trying to protect me.”

Aaron shifts slightly, eyes slipping away from Alex’s. “Not really, no. I… this probably isn’t a comforting answer, but I’m accustomed to that sort of thing happening.”

“Almost dying?” Alex asks, and when Aaron gives an awkward nod, Alex sighs. Is that why this is affecting him so much? Because he hadn’t been prepared for it? Because he hadn’t even known how close he’d been to death until everyone told him about it after the fact? “I don’t want to die.”

Aaron’s gaze snaps back to his, and he blinks at Alex a couple of times before reaching his metal hand out, sliding it down Alex’s chest until it’s resting over his heart. “You won’t. You’re recovering, Alexander. Physically, you’re okay.  You’re out of danger. And we’ll deal with everything else as it comes.”

Alex’s lips twitch into a small. “We?”

Aaron smiles back. “You did invite me to stay. Or are you having second thoughts?”

Alex shakes his head, moves his own hand up to lay over Aaron’s. “Are you? Cause… cause if you were I’d understand. I know that… that everyone has kind of been, well, not exactly nice to you.”

“Again, I’m accustomed to that.”

“Aaron…”

He just laughs, scoots a little closer to Alex. “It’s fine. Besides, it looks like I’ve got your mom in my corner now. And Eliza is nice enough.”

“Everyone else will come around,” Alex tells him. “And - wait! Where are Maria and Bellamy?”

“They’ve been hanging back, keeping an eye on things, just in case Thomas had any people tailing us. It doesn’t seem like he did. But I figured housing three pirates would be a little too much to ask of your mother.”

“So they’re okay?”

“They are.”

Alex nods, glad to know that, and when he blinks, he finds it hard to keep his eyes open, and he thinks he hears Aaron laugh again.

“You should sleep.”

“I always try to,” Alex mumbles. “And I get close, but then… I don’t know, my side flares up or I get anxious. Everything was a lot easier when you guys just stabbed me with whatever was in that sedation.”

“Well I’ll stay until you fall asleep,” Aaron tells him softly, and his hand moves up, fingers trailing gently across Alex’s collarbone, resulting in a full body shiver. “Too cold?”

Alex shakes his head. “Feels good.” He breathes in and out slowly, focuses on the feeling of Aaron’s fingers moving over his skin, but he already knows sleep isn’t going to come easily. “Tell me a story,” he murmurs.

“A story?”

Alex hums. “A happy one.”

Aaron is quiet. He’s quiet for so long that Alex starts to regret the question, but then Aaron is shifting beside him, getting more comfortable as his fingers roam softly over Alex’s neck and then back down.

“I was around seven or eight,” Aaron starts, “and my uncle had dragged me out to the market with him, claiming he wanted to teach me the skill of bartering, but it was really just to make me carry all of the baskets. About an hour in, I gave him the slip.”

“Course you did,” Alex murmurs, smiling and picturing a young Aaron sneaking off into a large crowd.

“I went to the nearest spaceport. I’d been before, but just in passing. That day, though, I sat there and watched people board the ships. Watched them take off and watched them dock. I don’t know how long I sat and watched, but it was the first time I felt… calm. I didn’t even care that my uncle punished me later. I’d found my spot.”

The story makes Alex think about how good he always felt when he was on his solar glider, like nothing could touch him, like nothing could bother him.

“After meeting Bellamy,” Aaron continues, “I would take him, too. We’d been together for a few months, just trying to pick up jobs and stay out of too much trouble. And then one day, we’d… well, gotten into some trouble.” He pauses to laugh. “But with Bellamy it was always easy to get out of it. We made it to a spaceport, hid in some abandoned building nearby and climbed to the roof to look out at the ships. And that’s when Bellamy decided to steal one.”

Alex blinks his eyes open at that, turns his head to stare at Aaron, who is grinning at the memory. “Really? And did you?”

“We did. Bellamy made the crew see someone taking off with their bounty, got most of them off the ship. We snuck on, and that was the first time Bellamy made the remaining crew members see me as Silver, the terrifying cyborg pirate. All I had to do was draw my sword, and they ran off.”

“No way.”

Aaron hums. “He made me look very intimidating. That was also the first time Bellamy flew a ship. Remember how sky sick you got your first night? Well, that was me that night, but even worse. Bellamy still gets embarrassed whenever I bring it up.”

Alex chuckles, imagining that as he closes his eyes again. “So it was just the two of you?”

“And then Maria, when we picked her up a year or so later. The three of us on that ship… “ Aaron trails off, and he stops tracing patterns across Alex’s collarbone, and Alex knows he must be thinking back on that time, when things weren’t so crazy.

“Do you miss it?” he asks softly, and his question seems to jolt Aaron back to the present, because his hand lays flat against Alex’s chest, palm pressing to his skin.

“Sometimes.” He moves his hand up, runs his fingers through Alex’s hair. “Your hair’s getting long again.”

Alex opens his mouth to say that he hasn’t had time to cut it lately, but then Aaron scratches his scalp, and all that comes out is a sigh, and Aaron laughs, does it again.

“Go to sleep,” he whispers to Alex, and while Alex has never been one to follow orders, Aaron seems to be the exception to that, because he thinks it’s only seconds later that he feels himself start to drift to sleep, Aaron warm against him.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


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